Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ Too Far? ❯ Chapter 7 ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Ash lay in darkness upon his bed, staring towards the still raging storm outside the window. The rain was pelting against the glass panes, the sound of thousands of individual impacts echoing around the room, interrupted occasionally by the tremble of thunder. It was barely nine thirty at night, but there was nothing else he felt able to do except lay there, trying for the umpteenth time to figure out what actions to take.

Brock had left only moments before. He had offered to stay over so they could both talk more about this dreadful situation, but Ash felt that he should be alone. This shouldn't be his friend's problem. The mistake had been solely his making, and anything that came from it would be his responsibility to take care of.

God, I though this was bad enough before, but…what the hell am I supposed to do if I've gotten her pregnant? I knew that there was every possibility! Why the hell didn't that at least stop me? I've had it constantly drummed into me at those damn mandatory trainer education lessons, 'Always use protection'. Why didn't I at least think about that?

He shook his head in anger. Because you couldn't resist her, he thought spitefully. Because you didn't want to resist her. 'Cause you were so damn weak. And now you may have ruined her life. She'd have to give up so much to raise your baby. Her studies, her social life-

No! This is my fault. If she is pregnant I'm gonna do everything to stop her having to give up any part of her life. I don't care if I have to give up my position as Master. It'll be a just punishment. And…I'd do anything for her.

Hearing the door open slightly and feeling a slight pressure upon the area of the bed behind him, Ash rolled around to face his visitor.

"(Ash)," Pikachu began. "(What were you and Brock talking about earlier?)"

Ash immediately sat bolt up in a panic. "Er…did you hear anything?"

Startled by his trainer's reaction, he jumped back slightly before cautiously answering. "(Nothing much. Just something about Misty.)"

Ash sighed heavily, falling backwards from his sitting position.

Pikachu softly climbed onto Ash's chest, lying upon his stomach with his hands under his chin. His long ears drooped downwards, and Ash swore he could see his crimson cheeks lose a little of their vibrancy. "(I thought you were going to call her)."

Ash took a deep breath, saddened by the depressed tone in his Pokémon's voice. "I'm want to. I really miss her, but I'm still too worried about what she may say to me."

"(Did you say something that hurtful to her that would make her never wish to talk to you again)?" he asked, puzzled.

Ash just sorrowfully nodded. "I did…" He stopped suddenly, altering his words. "…I said something really terrible to her."

Pikachu lowered his shinning brown eyes, taking his sombre gaze from his friend's face. "(We all miss her too),"he admitted.

Ash shook his head, feeling more self-directed anger build within him. He had been to wrapped up within his own problems that he hadn't even stopped to consider what this was doing to Pikachu and the other Pokémon, those that he held so dear as partners and friends. Many of them had been by Misty's side for as long as he had been. "God, I'm sorry, Pikachu. I wasn't even thinking beyond how I felt."

His features brightened slightly to give Ash a sympathetic glance. "(It's okay. We just want to see her and her Pokémon)." A little gleam lit up in his eyes and he began snickering. "(Poor Totodile has been so depressed. He and Misty's Lanturn were becoming really close, if you know what I mean)," Pikachu ended with a wink.

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, Ash let out an honest-to-goodness chuckle, letting the melancholy reside slightly. He had always wondered about those two. "I knew there was something going on there. Me and Misty were joking about it, but we didn't think that they were actually…" He suddenly halted his words, his momentary contentment fading fast.

This couldn't keep going on. He couldn't keep putting it off. This had to be resolved.

He lifted Pikachu from his chest, softly setting him upon the bed before standing. "I'm going to call her," he voiced with a tone of pure determination. "Right now. I can't keep chickening out. I miss her too much."

Ash left his room, Pikachu following closely behind. "(What are you going to say to her)?" he questioned, jumping up onto the table where the phone rested.

Forcing himself to lift the receiver, Ash replied, "I've got no idea." He slowly dialled the number to her private line, tracing his fingers over the buttons as he had done so many times previously. But as he laid his finger over the final digit, he instantly froze.

Pikachu, seeing his hesitation, quickly hit the button himself, happily shouting "Pika," as he did so.

Seeing the flash of yellow pass over the phone's keyboard, Ash instantly slammed down the receiver. "Pikachu! Why'd you do that?" he yelled.

Startled by his enraged trainer's outburst, Pikachu retreated a little, coyly muttering, "(Well…you weren't going to call)?"

"I was. I just…hesitated." Reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, he looked down at his friend awkwardly. Sighing heavily, he placed his hand upon the receiver yet again.

However, before he got the chance to lift it, it began to ring.

Both Ash and Pikachu jumped backwards at the sudden noise. Grabbing it and putting it to his ear, Ash directed his eyes to the video screen.

There was no picture. Just the white text 'Audio Only' over a black background.

"Hello?" he asked cautiously. After a moment of agonising silence, he heard a woman's voice echo through earpiece.

Her voice.

"Ash?"

"M…Mist?"

"Y…yeah." He could perceive her deep, shaky breathing. "Ash. You were right. We need to talk about…about what happened that night."

Before replying, Ash turned to Pikachu. Without the need for any words, his small friend understood his look perfectly, jumping down from the table and walking into his and the other Pokémons' bedroom. Turning his attention back to Misty, he uttered, "I know."

"Could you meet me tomorrow?"

Ash felt his heart rate quicken, from both joy and anxiousness. She wanted to see him. But was that a good or bad thing? "Of course," he answered instantly. "Ah…where? What time?"

"Six o'clock," she quietly responded. "Up on Route twenty-five. You know…where I usually swim?"

He nodded automatically, momentarily forgetting she could not see him. "Yes. I'll be there."

"Thank…thank you, Ash."

And with that, the other end went dead.

Placing the receiver back upon its holder, Ash let himself fall upon the sofa, allowing his sore head to rest upon the pillows. What would tomorrow bring? Would Misty somehow be able to forgive him for what he had done, meaning they could retain some semblance of what they previously had together? Would she tell him that she never wished to have any further contact with him? Or…

Did she have urgent news to give him, that their one night together had resulted in something that would alter their lives more than a simple loss of friendship ever could? Was that perhaps the reason she had called him out of the blue?

No, he couldn't think upon those deeply serious lines. That would just cause yet another sleepless night. He would know within twenty-four hours where things stood, whether he would be privileged enough to have her in his life once more or not. Until then, all he could do was count down the minutes as they dragged on.

Ash intently looked down upon his watch once more. Five fifty-five. Barely a minute later than the last time he had studied the rotating hands.

He was close to the spot she had mentioned, the place he knew she loved more than any other in this hectic city. It was just over a mile from the edge of the metropolis, however, the sparse forest and rushing water that flowed to and from the small lake made it seem to the person basking in the sweet atmosphere that they were as far from so-called civilisation as possible. Nature was truly in her element here.

He continued a little further, following the sound of lively water, until the forest thinned even more and the grass underneath his feet gave way to a form of muddy sand. He brought his vision across the mere, studying the gentle crests and troughs of amazingly clear liquid passing over its surface, until his gaze fixed upon a crimson object some ten metres to his left.

She had already arrived.

She was sat upon one of a collection of large, smooth rocks that littered the bank, her eyes cast over the lake as his had been moments before. He couldn't tell whether she was aware of his presence or had chosen not to acknowledge it, but for the moment he was content to just take in her features and analyse what information they imparted upon him.

She was clothed simply in a long skirt and a fitted, long-sleeved top that was cut along the neck-line in such a way that revealed her collar bone and shoulders. Each item was dark blue, a colour that just seemed to bring emphasis upon her creamy skin and vibrant ginger tresses. He considered her hair further, noticing that it lay a little straighter and the tone was darker than normal. She had been swimming, he guessed, her hair still half damp. She had told him that it was one of the few things that could relax her, being enveloped within a natural body of water, not a pool polluted with chlorine.

Tracing his eyes down to the locks that fell around her face, the colour and shape here a little more natural as they seemed to be fully dry, he came to her porcelain face. Her expression seemed confused and contemplative as if she was mentally searching for something. He brought his glance downwards, resting upon her lips. After a few seconds, he saw them part ever so slightly and begin to form a word.

"It's so beautiful, isn't it?" she asked rhetorically, her attention never wavering from the body of water. "The way it moves…so calming, so rhythmic. Almost….hypnotic. When I had to come back here five years ago, this place became like a second home to me. If I had been having trouble at the gym or at school, I would come up here and swim…or sometimes just stare out over it and try to understand…what was happening in my life, where the hell it was going."

Ash could hear strain in her voice. She was trying to reign control over her tone, attempting to sound emotionless, but he could detect a rising of feelings behind it.

He tentatively approached her as he listened, sitting upon a boulder a little removed from her. He knew that she just needed to talk without any interruptions. He could see the pleading within her eyes, and he was prepared to listen. There had been so many gaps left in the story behind her breakdown (she had attempted to tell him everything, however, it often became too heartbreaking for them both for her to continue) and he wondered if now those missing facts were about to come to light. His begging apology could wait a little while longer.

"I always felt that the lake was a mirror to myself. On the surface it seems so strong and free, that nothing could possibly conquer it…but, in reality, a simple manipulation sends out never ending ripples that change its very being. Every second of every day it is being unwillingly controlled by something else, another entity." She paused momentarily, finding it difficult to go on. She had been planning these words for hours as she had sat here, and now she just had to recite them as well as she could, hoping that this would help him understand why she had used him that night.

"That's how I've felt most of my life. I am so affected by what other people do and say, as if the path my life is to take has been predestined and I have no way to alter the direction I'm travelling." She raised her voice a little, anger beginning to seep in. "My parent's die, my life changes. My sisters win some stupid trip, my life changes. There was no way for me to prevent it.

"I felt so powerless that I finally decided that I had to take control. As soon as my sisters returned, I started travelling with you guys again. At first, I felt that that would help everything, that I could start to veer away from the road my life had been told to go down. But, again, I couldn't drag my feet away from that path. Everything I did to try to change things…they just ended up blowing up right in my face!" Her hands balled as she channelled all of her rage and pain into them. "I kept losing battles, I got knocked out of the Whirl Cup preliminary rounds twice, I was refused by several universities because of my age and as I hadn't really had any form of proper education for years. Even cram school didn't help." She turned her head to look at him for the first time since he had arrived, feeling a choking sob escape her mouth as she pondered her next words. "Everything I wanted…kept…it kept falling out of my hands." She took a long shuddering breath, casting her vision over the water once more. "So, I decided that if I couldn't change things that way, I could maybe change them another.

"I began to control what I did, how much I ate, even the thoughts in my head, pushing away every negative emotion I felt. Every second of the day, I regulated everything. And yet again, any power I had failed." She firmly shut her eyes, allowing the tears that had collected in her eyes to spill down her cheeks.

Ash watched as the tears rolled down her face and dripped from her chin. He could feel the pain she was experiencing within his own being. He could read every emotion that crossed her features as she relived those events, but felt unable to help her. He had given up his right to comfort her. All he could do was sit and listen.

Wiping the still flowing tears from her face, she continued. "I felt so…useless. That I couldn't achieve anything. I believed that I was just a waste…that I was…nothing." The sobs that escaped through her lips became stronger, racking her body with tremors. She could remember every word of self-hate, every dark feeling that had coursed through her being, seeking to dismantle her will entirely. They still terrified her.

"Eventually, I began to think that there was only one way to win back control…one way to stick my finger up at fate!" she spat bitterly. "I tried to kill myself with sleeping pills, by trying to drown myself or cutting my wrists…but it was too hard. When all those options fell through my fingers…I decided to try to starve myself. And for a week I had been able to do it. It seemed that it was the only way I was going to be able to do it. Food was making me sick anyway. I already didn't want to eat." She inhaled another lungful of breath, trying to somewhat calm her staggered breathing. "I was on the path to my death, and I though that that was it…until that night." She lifted her head, once again turning to face him. Although tears still decorated her face, a slight smile tugged upon her lips. "You saved me that night, Ash. If you hadn't found out what I'd been doing to myself…I would be dead by now. You took my hand and lead me away from my old life, the pain I had been suffering for so many years."

Ash couldn't take his eyes from her face. They displayed a confused mix of emotions. Currently, she appeared contented, however, her smile couldn't hide the still flowing tears and trauma in her features. He gripped his right thigh with his hand, pushing his fingertips painfully into his flesh. He wanted to console her, needed to place his arms around her and pull her into a friendly embrace as he always had in times like this. He forcibly pulled his gaze from her, fighting the ever-growing urge to run over and hold her.

After seeing his face turn from hers, she also altered her view, before continuing. "And these past three years…I've been so happy, perhaps even happier than I was those first few years we travelled together. I became Alpha-Omega, I passed my university entrance exams, I had my friends by my side…and I had you. Everything was finally beginning to fall into place in my life.

Her grin finally fell. "But I wanted something more. Despite the fact I had all of my friends around me, I still felt lonely…that there was still something missing in my life. I wanted someone to love me…someone to fall in love with me. I began to become depressed over the fact that every date I had, every guy I was interested in…well, things never went anywhere…despite the fact I know I was sabotaging them."

Her last few words piqued his curiosity. "Sabotaging them?" he interrupted.

She gave him a look which warned him she would not elaborate. "I'd never felt that form of love, emotionally or physically. When we began to kiss that night…I…I felt what I had never experienced before. Wanted. Desired. I felt for that hour that I was taking control of the part of my life that had always been beyond my reach." Her voice began to fracture once more. "But…in reality…in reality I had lost control again…and because of that, everything has changed."

Ash felt his breath escape him at that moment, an unsettled feeling coming over him. "Are you…I mean, we weren't careful and a-"

"I'm not pregnant," she quickly told him, hearing the panic in his tone. "I meant that because of what I did, I've betrayed you and destroyed our friendship," she clarified. "All because I couldn't control myself."

"But…" He shook his head confusedly, turning to her. "But…Misty, what are you talking about? You didn't do anything wrong."

Although she could feel his eyes burning into her, she kept her view away from him. She swallowed with difficulty. "I used my best friend for my own selfish needs. Of course that's wrong," she told him, her harsh tone reflecting her own self-disgust.

He couldn't let her continue blaming herself. Why did she always have to do this, own responsibility for everything, even when she hadn't committed any crime? It was yet another consequence of her often low self-confidence. He shifted along the rocks, moving closer to her. She visibly tensed at his movement, causing him to pause further from her than he desired to. "But Misty, you were depressed and…fragile. I was the one that betrayed you. I knew how you were feeling and I should have stopped what was happening, but I lost control as well. I can't excuse myself for doing that, for taking advantage of you."

Her eyes were still trained to the edge of the water. "But you didn't, Ash. You didn't take advantage of me. You made love to me. You cared for me, gave me what I wanted and needed. If anyone was taken advantage of, it was you. I took advantage of the fact that you would do anything for anyone, even when they don't deserve it. I hurt you…I hurt the person I owe my life to."

"But, Mist, I robbed you of your innocence," he almost shouted, not understanding, nor believing, the words coming from her mouth.

She shook her head, an allowed a slight smile to cross her features. "Losing my virginity to my best friend? I can live with that. In fact…I'm proud of it. It's the closest thing to your first time being with someone you love." And it's even better when you're in love with that best friend, she thought. "But I betrayed you."

"Misty-"

"Ash, no!" she interrupted. "Don't try to blame yourself for this."

"But, Mist, it wasn't your fault!"

"It was!" she told him firmly. "I ruined that dream of yours."

"Mist-"

"I did!"

His frustration was getting the better of him, and he couldn't hold back any longer. "No! You didn't!" he yelled, jumping up from the boulder. Realising the harshness in his tone, he raised his hands to his head, rubbing his temples with his fingers in an attempt to calm down. "You didn't ruin my dream, Misty," he muttered without concentrating.

Her head instantly snapped in his direction, his sentence hitting home. Her heart rate began to quicken, her thoughts rushing. What was he saying? "W…wh…what?"

He knew from her expression that she had somewhat understood what his words were insinuating, however, that knowledge was diluted with confusion, non-belief and fear. He could see no way to disguise those words, and to a great extent, he didn't even wish to try. He had secretly wished for years for this to happen, to be in a position he couldn't back away from admitting everything to her. He knew it would be the only circumstance with which he could finally tell her the feelings he had been repressing. He walked over to her and raised his hand to her chin, cupping it gently, making sure she couldn't take her eyes from his. "You didn't ruin my dream, Mist. That night…I achieved it."

Her mouth fell opened a little, as if she was attempting to utter something, but her voice failed her. She just stared at him, no other emotion displayed that he could decipher save complete shock. But he needed to continue. The damage was already done. Now he needed to explain himself to her, as she had done previously.

Fighting the urge, but succumbing to it, he began to tenderly stroke her cheek, closing his eyes against the wondrous feeling it brought him. "Misty, that night, yes, I was overtaken by lust. But there was also something else much more powerful: love." He forced his eyes open, focusing his full attention upon her. "I…I'm in love with you. I have been for years, at least since you came back to me. And with everyday, with every experience we've shared, I've fallen in love with you even further.

"When you asked me to make love to you, it…it was a dream come true. Something I'd been dreaming of for years was really happening. And I didn't want to stop it. I couldn't stop it 'cause all I could think about was being with you."

He lowered his glance, dropping his hand from her face. "And that fact just makes what I did worse. If I was any kind of a decent human being I should have been able to think past what was happening. I should have been thinking about how it would make you feel afterwards. But the fact that I wasn't even able to contemplate how the person I'm in love with would feel…that's just despicable."

She had yet to make any form of response to his confession. He had at least expected her to softly turn him down, or perhaps yell at him and call him an idiot. However, she just sat there, her face still aimed in the direction he had turned it, the same blank expression shown. He sighed as he took a few steps from Misty, his back to her. "I'm sorry, Misty. I just wanted you too know the true reason behind it. I know I've made things even worse than they were before. But, if our friendship is truly over, I just wanted you to know how I really felt…and how special you truly are. You're an amazing person, despite what those voices within you have said in the past. And because of that I couldn't help but fall in love with you."

As he began his journey once more, he perceived a series of wet footfalls behind him.

"Ash?" Misty whispered anxiously.

He stopped instantly, turning to face her. She was a mere few metres away from him, one hand by her side, the other clenched over her heart. It was a stance that was all too familiar to him, the same pose she always held when emotions rose close to the surface.

Their eyes locked once more. They were frozen, unsure what to do, unsure what the other was thinking.

It was Misty who broke the cessation. She transversed the short distance between them, placed a hand upon the back of his neck and lowered his head until it was next to hers.

Ash felt paralysed, confused by her actions. He wanted to speak, but her touch was too intoxicating. He could smell the lake in her hair, feel her breath on his skin, her fingers thread through his hair. What was she doing?

As if to answer his silent pondering, she placed her lips upon his in a gently caress. At first he was too shocked to react, but slowly relaxed into her kiss, deepening it and allowing his eyes to close. All thoughts as to her motivation passed from his mind as he rested his hands upon her hips, bringing her even closer.

After a few moments of the sweet embrace, they separated, breathless. Ash stared into her eyes, finding the sadness and fear gone.

She smiled up at him. "Oh god, Ash." She set her forehead against his, rubbing her hands over his jaw. "I love you, too," she whispered. She planted butterfly kisses over his chin and cheeks, repeating those same words constantly. "I love you. I love you."

All Ash could do was hold her, contemplating her words. She loved him? She had the exact same feelings as he did? Did that mean that she held the night they had spend together in the same regard as he did?

"Mist," he softly muttered into her ear, feeling a wave uncontrollable relief and amazement passing throughout his body. These past two weeks they had both been torturing themselves with regrets and self-hatred, wallowing in the fear that their friendship had come to an abrupt end. That pain had been entirely unnecessary.

But that didn't matter any longer. That was the past. What mattered now was the fact that she was in his arms, smiling up towards him. He leant down slightly, coaxing her kisses away from his skin and onto the more sensitive membrane of his lips.

They both stood in the middle of his bedroom, Misty's hands placed upon Ash's waist while his held her face close to his. They rubbed their cheeks together, loving the feel of being able to touch each other once more.

She moved her eyes to gaze into his, staying so close to him her vision was blurred. "Are you sure about this?" she whispered. "We don't have to if you think we should wait."

He laughed. "Shouldn't that be the guy's line?"

"This is as important a step for you as it is for me."

He smiled down at her. "We already took this step."

Her cheeks pinkened lightly, looking towards the ground momentarily before returning her vision to his face. "I know, but that was before we knew how we felt about each other. But now that we're together…it's a big step in this new relationship."

"I know, but it's a step I really want to make," he replied full-heartedly, pushing a fine bang of crimson away from her face. "I want to be with you again. I want to be able to hold you like I did that night, but this time I want to be able to hold you afterwards as well. As long as you are ready, I am."

She kissed him in response, trailing her hands from his sides to the back of his neck, wrapping them there. Keeping one hand upon her jawbone, he permitted the other to fall to the small of her back, letting it slip under the fabric of her top, pulling her even closer to him. They kept the kiss soft and tender, both a little nervous as to what it was a prelude to. As they separated, feeling warmth already flow throughout their bodies, they looked into one another's eyes, both seeing the happy nervousness they both contained. After holding the glance for a few moments, Ash let another chuckle escape his lips. "I guess this the way the first time is supposed to be. A little awkward."

"Yeah," she replied, her cheeks still heavy with a blush. She felt a little scared and anxious. That last time had happened so quickly and unexpectedly that no such fears had crossed her mind. However, now it had been planned, giving her enough of a chance to contemplate it fully. But, those worries didn't make her wish for this any less. It was just like a rollercoaster; you feel apprehensive and frightened at first, but once you climb the first hurdle, everything, sans the exhilaration, floats away.

She raised her head until it was parallel with his once more and glanced into his dark eyes. As they always did, his orbs reflected her emotions flawlessly. She placed her lips upon his with a little more pressure than before, understanding that all they had to do was pass that first obstacle. Then, everything would flow naturally.

And, as he responded to her kiss, that's what she felt occurring.

Returning her force in equal measure for a few seconds before adding to it, he sensually beginning to lightly suck upon her upper lip. As Misty moaned in reaction to the intimate contact, Ash trailed his hands downwards to her neck, first using his finger tips to sense the vibrations over her voice box, and then further to trace along the line of her collar bone, before resting upon her bare shoulders, kneading the flesh there.

As they continued kissing, each second the motions becoming more passionate and warm, the shyness between them died. The soft touch of each others' hands roaming over flesh no longer felt alien. It was now comforting and invigorating, added to the longing they both felt.

Misty moved her hands further along Ash's back, pulling his t-shirt upwards until she was able bring it over his head. After the brief second of lost contact, Ash immediately placed his hands upon her waist, gripping her top's hem, removing it as well. Wrapping their arms around one another, they concentrated upon the tingling sensation where bare skin touched bare skin. The feeling roused stirring memories within both of them, and instead of rejecting them, they were embraced, their 'mistake' no longer a taboo.

"You're skin's so soft," Ash uttered, making her giggle, as he kissed along the grove of her collarbone, licking the valley with his tongue. He could still taste lake water upon her, that natural scent mixing with her own unique one. The sensation was addictive.

Rubbing his hands over her thighs, he moved them upwards, trying to memorise ever curve of her body; her rounded hips, the inward dip of her waist and the swell of her bosom. He traced his fingers over the lace fabric of her bra and back to her shoulders.

Misty revelled in his touch, gently threading her fingers though his long hair, massaging his head, as he continued to trail his lips over neck.

She began to walk backwards, pulling him along with her, until she felt the edge of the bed behind her legs. As she lay down across the bed he leaned over her, gently placing his body onto hers. She raised her legs, closing them over his hips and pulling him closer. His weight felt comforting, reassuring, not restrictive. "I love you so much," she muttered between heavy breaths.

"And I love you," he replied before once again seizing her mouth with his.


Only one chapter to go. Will be up soon.

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