Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ Why? ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

She opened the door as quietly as possible and slowly creeped up to the sofa on which he lay. She then jumped on top of him.

" Ahh!" he yelled, unsure of what was happening. He opened his eyes and saw a black haired toddler sitting on his stomach, laughing at him. For a moment he had no clue to what was going on, but then the memory of the previous night came back to him, and he recognised the child before him. “ Hey."

" Morning, daddy." Her smile was gleaming, just like the sun that was coming into the room through the light curtains.

Misty came into the room and noticed the two. " Aya, you're not torturing your dad, are you? He's probably tired. You kept us late last night."

" Don't worry, I don't mind. It's a nice way to wake up in the morning." He sat up, setting his little girl on his knee, putting his arms around her. " So, what do you want to do today, honey?"

" We could play some games," she answered excitedly.

" Great. Well, how about you go and pick out some of your toys you want to play with and bring them out here."

" Okay, daddy." She ran off, like a mischievous little elf.

Misty, in the kitchen part of the room, sipped on her coffee, looking towards Ash. " You're really natural with her, you know?"

" Well, she's a great kid. She's my little baby, and I really love her."

" And she really loves you." She looked down at her watch. " Damn! I'm late for work. Ah, Ash, call this number if you need to reach me." She scribbled the numbers on a piece of paper and gave it to him. " If you make her lunch for about half one, she'll take a nap afterwards. Believe me, you'll be glad to have her sleep for a few hours. She really wears you out. Well, I better get going." She give Ash an awkward smile, which he returned. She looked away from him and towards Aya's bedroom door. " Honey, I'm going to work now, but I can't leave without a hug."

Aya ran out of her room and into her mother's arms. " Bye bye, mummy."

" Love you, Aya."

" Love you, too."

" Now, you behave for your dad."

" I will."

" Okay, I'll see you later." She kissed her daughter on the forehead before standing and opening the front door. " Bye, Ash," she said before leaving.

" Bye, Mist."

" You better take your nap now, Aya. You look pretty tired."

" Yeah." She climbed up on the sofa and settled into her father's lap. He held her securely in his arms.

" Daddy?"

" Yeah, baby?"

" Will you be here everyday?"

" I'll be here as much as possible."

" So you're going to stay here with me and mummy?" she said, a joyful tone to her soft, childish voice.

" Well, not here, but I'm going to get my own place and you can come over whenever you want. How do you feel about that?"

Her tone changed to one of disappointment. " But I thought you were going to live here with us?"

" I can't, Aya. It's not possible."

" But... but..." Tears began to cloud the girls blue eyes. " But aren't you and mummy getting married?"

He was taking aback by her words. She didn't understand. How could she? She was barely two and a half. She didn't know what had happened between her parents. He didn't have a clue how to respond. How could he tell her that she was the reason for her parent's break-up? He could see now, staring into her wet eyes, that when he entered her life, the little girl thought that it meant her parents were back together, that they could now be the family she had wished for. How could he disappoint his daughter by telling her that her parents would never be a couple again?

" Aya, I don't know if you'll understand this, but something happened between me and Misty, I mean your mum, that means we can never be together again. But we will both always be with you, you can depend on that. And that is the most important thing."

" But mummy loves you. She always tells me she does. Why can't you love her?"

As they say, from the mouth of babes. Why could he not forgive her and stop everyone's pain? Why could they not start their relationship off again from where it ended? But then one thing stuck in his mind. Does Misty still really love me? he thought. And did he still love her? Confused, he answered her with the only words he could manage to think up, " It's complicated."

Her sobs came harder, the tears soaking into his shirt. " Hey, honey, don't cry. Everything will be okay. Don't cry." But was everything going to be okay? How could he be sure?

After a short while, the sobs slowed and eventually faded completely. Realising she was asleep, he lifted her up and put her into her bed, hoping that after a few hours, she would be able to forget about her broken dream.

Misty didn't want to work. Her mind was too preoccupied with other concerns, not with the seemingly endless piles of paperwork before her. She threw the pen down onto the table and lay back in the chair.

She didn't know what to do. The past night and morning had seemed so surreal, so much like a dream. She had grown more angry with herself than she had been ever since she had left. She now truly realised to what extent she had hurt the person she had once loved. Who was she kidding? Once loved? STILL loved. She had even admitted that fact to Aya. She should stop denying it to herself.

He had grown in looks, his face now even more handsome than ever before, and when watching him with Aya, she could barely keep her eyes dry. It was the perfect scene, and he was the perfect father. That fact just made her love him more, but also caused more pain. If she had stayed and told him of the pregnancy, he would have been there for her, stood by her in everything. They would probably now be married, and they would all have what they now wished for - the perfect family. But at the time her fear had blinded her to the fact that Ash would never abandon her or tell her to get rid of their baby. She knew him better than that. Then why did she leave? How could she be so stupid? She didn't understand that herself.

There had been many times over the years when she almost tried to get in contact with him. The time she wanted him the most was the morning she went into labour.

Two and a half years before...

The doctor had told her that everything would be over within five hours. All she could do until then was lie on the hospital bed and try to deal with the contractions.

She was alone. The doctor and nurse had left to attend to other women in the same situation, and she knew she would probably be alone until her time came. She could have called one of the friends she had made over the past few months, but the only person that should be there with her at that moment should have been the baby's father, but he didn't even know that in a matter of hours he was going to be a daddy, and she didn't know where he was. He could be half way round the world and she would have no idea, but right now, she needed him here, with her and their child.

She felt tears drip down her cheeks. How was she going to cope alone with a baby? How was she going to cope without the man she loved? How was she going to live with the pain that she was the one going to be responsible for the fact that their baby would never know it's father?

She had to call him. She had to tell him everything, how scared she was and how much she hated herself. But how? She hadn't seen him in over seven months. He could have been anywhere. But what about his mother? She had her number. Ash may even be there (he often went home in times of trouble), and he would maybe be able to get to the hospital in time to be with her at the birth. But what if she called and his mother told her that Ash didn't want her in his life anymore. She couldn't live knowing that. Or what if he picked up the phone himself and rejected her and their baby? That would have been ten times worse. She would be devastated. Again, her fear of what could possibly happen held her back, but it didn't stop her from wishing she had told him all those months ago. If she had, perhaps he would be here with her now, and she wouldn't feel so desperately alone.

She looked into the face of the sleeping new-born. She seemed so innocent, unaware of the crimes of her mother. Misty couldn't remember a time she had felt so happy, but the happiness also brought pain. Although the little girl shared many of her mother's features, Misty could easily see Ash's part in her. It almost pained her to gaze at her daughter.

The nurse came to Misty's side and smiled down at her. " She's really beautiful."

" Yeah, I know." She smiled back.

" So, daddy wasn't able to get here in time, then?"

" Ah, no. He wasn't. He's working in Johto," she lied.

" He's going to be so crushed that he missed this, but I'm sure when he sees her he'll be delighted."

" I hope so," Misty whispered so as the nurse would not hear.

" So have you and the father decided on a name?"

Misty smiled again. " Yeah. Aya. Aya Ketchum."

" Misty. Misty wake up."

She opened her eyes. She was still sitting at her desk, leaning back on the chair. She looked up at the person who had woken her from her remembrances. " Jack! Sorry. I must have fallen asleep."

" You had a long night?"

" Yeah, something like that."

He sat on the side of the desk next to her and looked at her affectionately. " Misty, are you busy tonight?"

She knew he would never stop this. Ever from the first day they had met, he had been trying to get her to go out with him. Even when she told him about her past, it didn't stop him as she expected, and hoped. She did consider him a friend, but had no desire to let the relationship evolve to the next level. But no matter how many times she told him this, it didn't affect his determination.

With a sigh, she replied. " I'm sorry but..." Her voice trailed off.

He noticed the pained look upon her face. " Is everything okay?"

She knew she needed to talk to someone about what had happened and she knew she couldn't talk to Ash about this. " Yesterday, I saw Ash." Her voice was low and held back emotion.

" Aya's father?!"

" Yeah."

" Did you tell him about her?"

" I couldn't hold it back any longer. He has a right to know. I should have told him years ago."

" What was his reaction?"

" Well, he was understandably angry with me. He rightly blames me for him missing the first couple of years of her life and he hates me."

" What are you going to do? Are you going to let him have joint custody?" He sounded disappointed and jealous. He knew how strong a hold this man had upon Misty's heart.

" Of course. I'm the one who should be punished, not him. He loves her and she loves him. I just wish I hadn't been so stupid and left him."

" You can't change the past."

"That's the problem."

" Do...do you still love him?" he tentatively asked, knowing that her response would tell him if he had any real chance with her. He knew that if she still did love him, there was no possibility of something developing between him and her.

" Yes," she answered sorrowfully, with a half smile, half frown.

His hopes dashed, he tried to change the subject. " Misty, I think you should go home. Maybe take a few days off to sort things out. Then when you're ready, you can come back and finish your training."

" No, don't worry. I'll be okay. Anyway, I can't take time of because I need the money. But thanks for the offer, and for listening."

" Anytime. That's what friends are for."

" Hey, Ash," she said, a little awkwardly.

He turned quickly from the television to see her enter the front door. " Hi, Misty."

" Did everything go okay, today?" She took off her coat, hanging it on the stand by the door, and sank into the sofa, glad to be finally off her feet.

" Ah. He knew he had to bring the subject up but had no idea how to address it.

" What's wrong, Ash? She didn't fall or anything?" She looked towards him, eyes full of concern.

" No. Ah, I think that it would be best if I find somewhere else to live as soon as possible. But don't worry. I'll find somewhere in Vermillion so I can see Aya everyday."

" Why? You know you're welcome here as long as you want to stay and I'm sure Aya would love it if you stayed for a while."

"Aya is the problem," he whispered

" What?"

" She...ah...she asked me a very awkward question today and started to cry when I answered her. She cried herself to sleep."

" What did she ask?"

" Well, she thought we were getting...married."

But she didn't seem as shocked as he expected her to be. She just looked towards the floor and let out a solemn sigh. " Oh. That has always been her dream."

" It has? Damn." He lowered his head. He had really hurt her. Less than a day after meeting his daughter for the first time he had destroyed her dream. But what else could he have of said. By raising her hopes he would just make the inevitable more painful for her.

" She keeps asking when daddy is going to come back and when will we all become a family. I keep telling her that it's not possible, but she continues to wish for it. When she gets a little older she'll realise, but right now Aya's too young to understand why. Maybe it would be best if you find another place to stop her from thinking that we are back together. But when we are together we shouldn't show any contempt for each other, despite what has happened between us. I know that you hate me now but I don't want her to know that. I don't want to hurt her even more."

" I don't hate you, Mist. Maybe someday I can forget what you did, maybe not, but that would never make me hate you. You used to be my best friend, and hopefully we can become close again. I mean, how could I hate the mother of my child?"

" Thanks, Ash."

He wanted to ask her if what Aya had told him was true, did she still love him? But then if she said 'yes', what would he say in response. He was unsure how he felt about her, and until he knew, he couldn't say anything. He stood and walked over to the kitchen. " Do you want me to make dinner? I'm sure you're tired."

" You cooking," she joked. " Now that's something I've never seen before. Will it be edible?"

" 'Course it will. I know how to cook. You were always the undomesticated one. I wouldn't like to eat something you cooked."

" Well, I've had to learn."

" You want to cook, then?"

" Ah..."

" Don't worry, I'll do it."

" Thanks." She laid down on the sofa, moving to get comfortable, her legs curled up, and yawned.

Ash opened the cupboards to find most of them empty. " Misty?"

" Yeah." She closed her weary eyes.

" Do you have any food?"

" Oops."

" Oops what?"

" I haven't got the shopping for this week yet. I've been really busy with work and Aya."

" It's okay. I'll get some stuff. Back in an hour or so."

" Bye." Misty watched as he left. She hated the fact she was still in love with him. It hurt her so much to think that she could never be with him like before, and it had all been her own fault. But at the same time she loved the fact that he was back in her life. He filled the gap that had been left when she walked out on him. Although she could still hear the pain in his voice when he spoke to her, he didn't seem as angry as he was the night before. It was beginning to feel like they were friends again, teasing each other and being able to talk about delicate issues. Even if they could never be together like they once were, at least he was here, and that did ease her anguish.

Ash came back into the apartment, placing the bags of shopping on the dinning table. He looked towards the sofa, and saw Misty laying there, fast asleep. She looked so peaceful and beautiful, bangs of her red hair lightly covering the side of her face, that he couldn't help but smile gazing at her. He moved to her side and, taking the blanket that was draped over the back of the sofa, placed it over her.

What could he do? There she was, the love of his life, by his side again. One side of him told him to forgive her and ask her if they could become the family he and Aya wanted (he was sure that it was what Misty wanted as well). But then he had another voice contradicting the first. This one told him to punish her for what she did to him, and to never let her become close enough to hurt him so much again. But when he was punishing her, wasn't he punishing himself and Aya as well? The future lay in his hands. If he forgive her, he would be happy, and so would the two most important people in his life. But she did deserve to be punished, didn't she? Or was what she did justified? She had left because she loved their baby so much that she didn't want to risk her life. Wasn't that understandable?

The battle constantly raged in his mind. Forgive and be happy, or punish her for her crime and possibly ruin their lives. He knew which one he would rather choose, but the other was so powerful to overthrow his wishes.