Prince Of Tennis Fan Fiction ❯ Singing Juices: A Tenipuri Musical ❯ Trying to Talk ( Chapter 9 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: Deltree

I wanted to say thank you to speadee, SkySurf, tezuka, and stringer13 for reviewing. Thank you! You're all so nice!

And for those who are wondering when things are going to be settled, be patient. I'm planning for there to be only two more chapters after this. Things are going to start wrapping up really soon.

Chapter #8: Trying to Talk

Inui walked into the school the next morning feeling decidedly nervous. His plan was already well under way, there was no turning back, and he had no idea if it was going to work. He had no statistics, no probabilities. He was essentially going into this blind and that was not a good feeling. Inui was used to always knowing what would happen, always knowing the likelihood of every possibility. And now everything was hanging on the slim chance that Inui would sing in Kaidoh's presence.

He knew, logically, that the songs were fueled by intense emotions and, as such, he should sing in Kaidoh's presence. Inui certainly felt enough emotion around the other boy. But there was an unknown margin for error, the possibility that maybe unknown factors would work against him. He didn't really have a complete grasp on the how and why the juice worked as it did.

And then there was always the fact that, when confronted with Kaidoh, he didn't know what exactly he would sing. There was always the possibility that his song would only further incriminate him. But Inui didn't know how much of a possibility that was and it frustrated him.

Normally if he didn't have the probabilities working in his favor he wouldn't even bother going through with an action. So going through with a plan with absolutely no probabilities at all was just insanity. But it was for Kaidoh. He had to remember that.

At practice that morning Inui purposely put some distance between him and Kaidoh. He didn't want the juice to go off early, causing him to start singing right in the middle of practice thus embarrassing them both. He wanted to wait until he could get Kaidoh alone so that he could talk to him in private.

He didn't get the chance for privacy though until lunch came and Inui found Kaidoh eating alone in an empty classroom.

“Kaidoh,” Inui greeted, standing in front of Kaidoh's desk.

Kaidoh glanced up from his lunch and, seeing Inui, started to look annoyed. “Inui-senpai. What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?” Kaidoh asked as he narrowed his eyes suspiciously, his polite nature unable to just turn Inui away.

“About you breaking up with me,” Inui said, somehow managing to say the words without wincing.

Kaidoh frowned and looked stubborn. “I'm not changing my mind.”

Inui wondered why the juice hadn't started working yet. “I can do better,” he said.

“You had your chances.”

Maybe Inui just needed to stall for a little more time. “Just give me one more. You won't regret it.”

Kaidoh shook his head, looking irritated. “I'm not talking about this with you,” he said and then started to pack up his lunch, getting ready to leave.

Inui started to panic a little, but, since he was Inui, it was a very calm panic. Kaidoh needed to stay close by or else his plan wouldn't work. “I will make it up to you. Ask me for whatever you want,” he said, hoping to buy some time.

Kaidoh spared a moment to give him a look, saying, “I don't want anything.” Then went right back to packing up his lunch, putting away his chopsticks and closing his bento. Getting up from his seat, he nodded his good-bye to Inui, grabbing his lunch and making for the door. “Good-bye, senpai. I'll see you at practice.”

Inui needed to keep Kaidoh close by. “Wait!” he called out, holding out a hand.

Kaidoh turned to give him a weird look at his out of character behavior, but said again, more firmly this time, “Good-bye, senpai.” Then turned for the door, opened it and stepped through, and then . . . paused.

From somewhere music was beginning to play. Kaidoh visibly cringed and turned back into the room hurriedly, closing the door behind him, and then seemed to prepare himself for humiliation, obviously believing that he was the one who was going to start singing.

Inui felt his depression surge up and almost overwhelm him as he lost feeling in his extremities and words came to his mouth. “I guess this time you're really leaving,” he sang, regarding Kaidoh sadly, “I heard your sweet voice say goodbye. Well as my broken heart lies bleeding. They say true love it's suicide.”

Kaidoh opened his eyes and stared at him, obviously unable to believe what he was seeing and hearing.

“You say you cried a thousand riveeeers,” Inui continued, “and now you're swimming for the shooo-oo-ore. You left me drowning in my teeeeaars. Yeah, you won't save me anymooo-oore. I pray to God you'll give me one more chance, boy.” Inui took a breath, his whole body being thrown into the song as he sang expressively, “I'll be there for you,” looking up again and pointing at Kaidoh, “These five words I swear to you. When you breathe I wanna be the air for you. I'll be there for you. I live and I die for you. I steal the sun from the sky for you. Words can't say what love can do. I'll be there for you.”

Kaidoh still stared at him. “Inui-senpai . . .” he started, looking shocked, “What are you . . . what are you doing?”

“I know you know we've had some good times,” Inui continued, song slowing as he ignored Kaidoh's question, “Now they have their own hiding place. Well I can promise you tomorroooow but I can't buy back yesterdaaa-aay,” Inui's voice grew louder as he got into the song again. “And baby you know my hands are diiiiiiiiiiiiirtyyy.”

Somewhere in the background Inui heard another voice singing, “Oh baby you know my hands are dirty,” but Inui continued on as though it had never happened.

“But I wanted to be your Valentiiiiiii-ii-iiine. I'll be your water when you get thirsty, baby. When you get drunk I'll be the wiiii-ii-iiiiiine.” Inui took a deep breath, voice growing even louder. “Oh. I'll be there for you,” pointing at Kaidoh, “These five words I swear to you. When you breathe I wanna be the air for you. I'll be there for you. I live and I die for you. I steal the sun from the sky for you. Words can't say what love can do. I'll be there for you.”

Kaidoh took a small step forward as Inui stopped singing for a musical interlude. “Inui-senpai,” Kaidoh said again, “What are you doing?” Kaidoh looked almost frightened for him, but Inui couldn't answer despite the fact that he really wanted to. His limbs and mouth didn't seem to be obeying his commands. He could only sing and move with the song.

And the musical interlude was over. “I wasn't there when you were haaaaaaappy,” Inui sang loudly and expressively.

Another voice in the background sang, “I wasn't there to make you happy,” but Inui ignored it.

“And I wasn't there when you were dooooo-ooo-oooown,” Inui continued, voice gradually getting lower. “Didn't mean to miss your birthday, baby. I wish I'd seen you blow those candles ooooo-oout.” He took a deep breath to prepare for the next part. “Ohhhhhh-ohhhh!” he wailed then came back down to sing, “I'll be there for you,” looking at Kaidoh as he pointed towards him, “These five words I swear to you. When you breathe I wanna be the air for you. I'll be there for you. I live and I die for you. I steal the sun from the sky for you. Words can't say what love can do. I'll be there for . . .” Inui trailed off, taking a breath, and then started again, “I'll be there for you. These five words I swear to you. When you breathe I wanna be the air for you. I'll be there for you. I live and I die for you. I steal the sun from the sky for you. Words can't say what love can do. I'll be there for yooooooooou.”(1) Inui held that last note for a long time before finally coming down. His muscles obeyed his commands again and he absently rubbed his arm, frowning to himself contemplatively.

So that's what that felt like. “Interesting.” This was actually a good chance to study the phenomena first hand. Inui hadn't realized that possibility. Very interesting. He got out his notebook and made a note of this.

“Inui-senpai,” Kaidoh said and Inui looked up from his writing to see Kaidoh giving him a concerned look. “What was that?” Kaidoh asked.

“I drank the juice,” Inui informed him calmly, closing his notebook and putting it back in his pocket.

“But . . . why?” Kaidoh was obviously unable to understand why anybody would put themselves through that embarrassment.

“You needed to see that I was telling the truth.”

Kaidoh looked shocked at his answer. “You did that just so I would know you were telling the truth?”

Inui nodded and said simply, “Yes.”

Kaidoh was oddly touched, but that didn't mean anything. He wasn't changing his decision. He frowned and crossed his arms over his chest, pushing aside the strange feeling that the song and the reason behind it had produced. “It doesn't change anything.”

Inui blinked and stared, unable to believe this. He'd thought Kaidoh's reaction promising. “No?”

Kaidoh shook his head.

“But you heard me,” Inui couldn't help but try. “I will do anything you want to fix things.”

Kaidoh shook his head again and stayed stubborn. “You had your chances. We're over.” Turning, he headed for the door again. “Good-bye, senpai,” he said one final time and left.

Once again, Inui could only stare after him.

By the next day Eiji still wasn't quite over his anger at Oishi, but he had decided to try one final time before giving up and handing the job of getting them together over to Oishi. Then Oishi could take all the sweet time he needed to and it wouldn't be Eiji's problem. They'd probably get together sometime in their thirties, but at least Oishi would be comfortable and okay with it. Eiji wasn't going to drag an unwilling participant into any relationship. That would just be weird.

He avoided Oishi during practice and, of course, Oishi didn't speak to him either. But, after some serious searching during lunch, he finally cornered Oishi in an empty classroom where he had been hiding.

“Okay,” Eiji said seriously, pulling a desk closer to Oishi's and sitting down. “We're going to talk.”

Oishi sighed and put down his chopsticks. “I already said yes. I just want us to go slower.”

“And what is `slower' to you?” Eiji asked as he tilted his head, only curious. “We're already not even moving. How can we possibly go slower?”

“Just . . . just give me some time to get used to the idea.”

“If I give you time then you'll just keep finding reasons to not do this,” Eiji said perfectly reasonably. “It's kind of a jump in all at once kind of thing. You know, like at the pool?”

“I like to take my time getting used to the water at the pool,” Oishi told him, “You know, take it one step deeper at a time.”

Eiji sighed and rested his head in one hand, looking contemplative. “Then how are we gonna do this?”

“You could back off and give me the time I need,” Oishi suggested hopefully.

Eiji looked at him. “Or I could declare us boyfriends and we just not do anything until you feel ready.”

“That's the thing,” Oishi said, “I don't think I'm ready to have a boyfriend just yet. That's just too . . .” he trailed off, unsure of what exactly it was.

“Gay?” Eiji offered.

“Much,” Oishi said, giving Eiji a look. “It's too much.”

“Nobody has to know,” Eiji said kindly, “It's just you and me.”

“And the rest of the Regulars,” Oishi said. “It would be a little hard to hide it from them what with you singing all the time.”

Eiji gave him a look. “You know that's not my fault. And they already thought we were together before this whole singing thing happened anyway. Everybody in the school thinks we're together.”

Oishi looked a little vulnerable. “Do they really?”

Seeing the vulnerability, Eiji nodded and smiled gently, trying to take away some of the blow. “Yeah, they do. Do you not hear the rumors?”

Oishi looked down at his desk, uncomfortable. “No, I do. I just try my best to believe they don't exist.”

“Well, they do,” Eiji said, still gently. “And we can't help that.”

Still looking down at his desk, Oishi glumly nodded his agreement.

“And it doesn't really make sense for everybody to think we're together when we're not actually together,” Eiji continued, “So we should just get together. Nothing would change.”

Oishi looked up at him seriously. “We'd change.”

“But we don't have to,” Eiji said, “Everything can be the same. Just the label would be different.”

“But there'd be dates and kissing and . . .” Oishi looked embarrassed, giving Eiji a significant look. “other things.”

“Dates would just be us hanging out like usual. We've already kissed and I don't' remember you minding all that much. And we can wait for those other things. I don't think I'm ready for them either.”

“I just don't . . .” Oishi looked down at his desk again, avoiding Eiji's eyes. “I just don't think I'm ready for knowing that I have a boyfriend. I mean, it's one thing for everybody else to think it. It's a whole other thing to know it's true.”

Eiji sat back, getting exasperated. “Why are you so afraid of being gay?”

“I'm not afraid,” Oishi protested, “I'm just—

“Afraid,” Eiji finished for him. “Something about the label has you freaked out. Why?” he asked, “Everybody already thinks it. You don't even have to come out of any closets. Nobody has ever thought you were straight.”

Oishi looked up, clearly upset. “Never?” he asked. Clearly the `not ever' fact was new to him. “Why?” he demanded, “Am I sending out gay-vibes or something? Do I talk funny? I don't do that thing with my hand and just not realize it, do I? Do you think my parents think it too?”

Eiji rolled his eyes. “You don't do any of those things, okay? And I'm sure you're parents think you're straight. Don't worry.”

“Are you sure?” Oishi asked, looking for further reassurance.

“I'm sure,” Eiji said calmingly, “They think the same thing about me, after all, and I act perfectly normal.”

Oishi, who had been calming down, started to look a little worried again. Eiji was a little . . . touchy-feely after all. And very open about his emotions. But Oishi wasn't going to say anything. Let Eiji think he was the image of heterosexuality.

“I think it's really just how we act around each other,” Eiji continued musingly. “They think we're a little too close, if you know what I mean. I tell people it's just because we're such good doubles partners—we have to be close—but I don't think anybody really believes me. If you ask me, they want to think we're gay. It makes for a better rumor.”

Oishi still wasn't quite comfortable knowing that everybody could tell he was gay, but he would push that aside for the moment. He'd freak out about that later in the privacy of his own bedroom. “That still doesn't mean that I'm comfortable with having a boyfriend.”

Eiji frowned. “Well don't think that I'm gonna let us just stay friends either. Not when I know you like me.”

Oishi sighed heavily and shook his head. “I don't know, Eiji. It would be easier if you just let it go until I'm ready.”

“You just don't want to even try,” Eiji snapped, some of his anger from yesterday coming back to him as the crux of the problem presented itself.

“This has nothing to do with trying,” Oishi said, trying to explain. “It—

“It has everything to do with trying,” Eiji interrupted angrily. “And I'm not gonna let you throw a good opportunity down the drain just because you're too much of a chicken to take a chance.” Eiji had tried gentle and understanding and that hadn't worked so now he'd go for angry and upset. Oishi was being ridiculous.

“Eiji!” Oishi protested.

“No!” Eiji said, standing up and jabbing a finger in Oishi's direction angrily, “You are going to listen to me!”

“I have been listening to you!” Oishi tried, “I just—

“And I am telling you, I'm not going,” Eiji sang angrily, the song abrupt and loud “You're the best man I've ever known. There's no way I can ever goooo. No, no, no, there's no way,” Eiji waved a hand, shaking his head. “No, no, no, no way I'm living without you. I'm not living without you. I don't wanna be freeee-ee-eee. I'm staying. I'm staaaaaying. And you, and you,” jabbing his finger in Oishi's direction, “you're gonna love meeeeeeeeeeeeEEEE,” gesturing at himself as the note continued and grew louder and louder. Eiji abruptly broke it off and continued in a lower voice, “You're gonna loooove me.”

“Eiji!” Oishi said, trying to get his attention and make him stop singing, but Eiji was lost in the song.

“And I am telling you I'm not going,” Eiji sang loudly, glaring at Oishi, “Even though there are times you're so weak. There's just no way, there's nooooo waaaaa-aaay.” Eiji broke off the long note and seemed to gentle, the song getting quieter. “We're part of the same place. We're part of the same town. We both share the same blood. We both have the saaame mind,” Eiji abruptly got loud again. “And time and time it hurts soooo much to see yooooou. No, no, no, no, no, no, no,” shaking his head and waving his hand, “I'm not waking up tomorrow morning and finding that there's nobody theeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEE.” Eiji abruptly broke the note off and had to take a deep breath before continuing, just as loudly, “Darling there's no way. No, no, no, no way I'm living without you. I'm not living without you. You see there's just no way, there's noooooo way.”

“Eiji!” Oishi tried again, desperately trying to get Eiji to stop. He waved his hands at Eiji and kept looking in the direction of the door. “Be quiet! Somebody's going to come see you!”

Eiji ignored him as the music abruptly changed, the piano medley getting faster and Eiji sang, “Bring down the mountains, yeah scream and shout. You can say what you want I'm not walking out. Stop all the rivers, push back and kill. I'm not gonna leave ya, there's no way I wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiill” The music went back to its normal tempo and Eiji took a deep breath before singing loudly, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND IIIIIIII AAAAAAAAAAM telling you I'm not going. You're the best man I've ever known. There's no way I can ever, ever go. No, no, no, no way,” shaking his head and waving a hand, “No, no, no, no way I'm living without you. I'm not living without ya, not living without ya. I don't wanna be free-eee-ee. I'm staying, I'm staaaaying. And you, and you,” jabbing a finger in Oishi's direction, getting closer and poking him in the chest, “and you, you're gonna love meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeEE-EEEEE,”< /i> Eiji nearly fell over, out of breath, but got a second wind and, regarding Oishi seriously, finished off with, “You're gonna loooooove me.”(2)

Eiji stopped singing, panting for breath, but still regarded Oishi seriously. “You are gonna love me,” he said between breaths.

“Eiji . . .” Oishi said, turning to him with a strange look in his eye. “I already do.”

Still regaining his breath, Eiji put his hands on his hips and stared at Oishi for a long moment. “You do,” he finally repeated flatly.

Oishi looked embarrassed. “Yeah. I just . . . I just need time.”

Eiji stared at him for another long moment. Then looked away and shook his head. He couldn't deal with Oishi right now. He started to head for the door.

“Eiji?” Oishi blinked, obviously wondering where he was going.

Eiji waved a hand back at him, a vague gesture to stay put, and left.

Eiji nearly ran into Fuji coming out of the classroom.

“Eiji?” Fuji asked, barely stopping himself in time

Obviously startled, Eiji looked up and pulled to a stop before he could run into the other boy. “Fuji?”

“Eiji,” Fuji said again then looked at his friend closer, “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Eiji shook his head tiredly, looking down at the floor. “It's . . . it's just . . .” trailing off, he covered his face with a hand and took a deep breath in and out slowly, “It's just Oishi,” he said, removing the hand from his face and waving it in the general direction of the classroom he had just come out of. “He's being . . . you know . . .” making a vague gesture, “I think I'm gonna go.”

Fuji watched him in concern. “Alright . . .”

Eiji nodded, obviously decided on something. “Yeah, I'm gonna go.” And he started walking off down the hallway, looking tired and not at all like himself.

Fuji had to see what had happened. He opened the door the classroom Eiji had just exited and peeked his head inside to find Oishi studying his hands with a frown on his face. “Oishi?” he asked.

Oishi looked up. “Fuji?”

Fuji stepped into the room fully, closing the door behind him, and regarding the seated boy seriously. “I just saw Eiji. What did you do to him?”

“I didn't do anything!” Oishi protested.

“You obviously did something.”

“He was just talking about us . . . you know,” Oishi looked uncomfortable, making a vague gesture, “getting together. And then he sang a song and told me I was going to . . . love him. And then I said I already did and then he just kind of stared at me and walked off. I don't know what happened.”

“But you told him you loved him?” Fuji asked, just to get things straight.

“Yeah . . .” Oishi trailed off uncomfortably, “Was that wrong?”

“It depends,” Fuji said, walking closer and placing both hands on the back of a chair. He frowned, considering the situation. Normally Eiji would have been ecstatic to hear such a thing. “Did you say anything else afterwards?”

Oishi obviously hesitated to tell him, but finally did. “I told him I still needed more time.”

Oh. Fuji nodded, everything coming together. “You do realize, of course,” Fuji said, looking at Oishi, “that that was not what Eiji wanted to hear? Especially not so soon after you told him you loved him.”

Oishi looked down at his lap and nodded shamefacedly.

Fuji sighed softly, shaking his head in seeming regret. It was time to start fixing things. “That explains what he told me, at least.”

Oishi looked up, curious. “What did he tell you?”

“That he was getting tired of waiting for you to come around,” Fuji said, looking up at the other boy as he lied. “He was quite angry about it.”

Oishi started to looked a little scared. “He really said that?

Fuji nodded seriously.

“But . . . But it's only been three days,” Oishi said, “He'd really give up just like that?”

“I don't think he really believed it when you said you loved him,” Fuji said. “I think he thinks that if you really did love him you'd get past all this . . .” Fuji made a vague gesture to encompass Oishi and his need for time, “and just damn the consequences and get together with him.”

“But can't he understand? This has nothing to do with whether I love him or not. I just need a little more time to get used to the idea of being gay and having a boyfriend. I'm not asking for years. Just a few more days.”

“Have you told him that?”

“Yes,” Oishi frowned, looking mildly irritated as he remembered and nodded “More than once.”

“Well, I don't know what to tell you,” Fuji said, releasing the chair and shrugging his shoulders. “Because he looks like he's about a second away from giving up. You should seriously think about just how much you really need that time. It could just be a way of procrastination.” Fuji looked at Oishi to see how he would take this next part, “Unless, of course, you don't want to be with Eiji.”

“No, I do. I do,” Oishi hurried to say.

“Then think about it,” Fuji ordered.

Oishi looked unsure, but seemed to be taking the advice to heart, nodding his head. “Alright. I will.”

Fuji closed his eyes and smiled pleasantly. “Good.”

Inui's day had not been good.

The plan hadn't worked. Had been a spectacular failure actually. He had sang, yes, but Kaidoh hadn't cared in the least. It hadn't changed the situation at all.

So now he was stuck singing his irrational feelings for the entire world to hear and he still didn't have Kaidoh. The singing would have been okay, if only he had Kaidoh.

But, to be painfully honest, Inui hadn't really expected his plan to work in the first place. He had been fooling himself to think it would at all. Kaidoh was remarkably stubborn at times. Especially when things were serious. On those few times that it had counted, Inui had never been able to change Kaidoh's mind.

Not that he had really tried to. During those times Kaidoh was always stubborn in ways that benefited Inui's own interests. Now that they didn't, Inui didn't know what to do.

Drinking the juice had been his only plan and it hadn't worked.

What was he going to do? All of his future plans included the boy. Inui couldn't see himself without him. Kaidoh was just always there.

What was he going to do?

Inui closed his bedroom door behind him tiredly and placed his backpack and tennis bag on the floor beside his desk. Then walked over and sank down onto his bed, putting his head in his hands. And he sat there for a long time, wallowing in his own misery.

Music eventually began to play softly in the background and Inui would have looked up but he was stuck. His muscles didn't work.

“Once in a lifetime you'll ooopen up your heart,” not lifting his head, Inui began to sing softly and slowly, “Baby, once in your lifetime you swear to neeever be apart. You think your love's on solid ground then out of the blue it all comes tumbling down.”

The words fell out of his mouth without him even thinking the words, but he heard them and they hurt. He seriously had thought the relationship stable.

“Who's gonna hooold me tonight when I'm feeling looonely?” he sang, missing Kaidoh's presence horribly, “Who's gonna shooow me the light? `Cause I need to knoo-o-ow. With all the things weee've got, how can love just stop? Tell me. Somebody help me understaaand.”

He really did want to understand. How could he have made such a big mistake? He'd gathered all the data on relationship dynamics, observed all the known couples for real-life examples. He should have performed perfectly well as a boyfriend. But instead he ruined everything.

“And my picture in your locker - what will you do with it noo-ow? All our friends and all our memories - tell me how we sort them out. What's yours is yours. What's mine is mine. Is that all that's left after all this tii-ime?”

Inui shook his head and looked up, not really looking at anything. “Who's gonna hooold me tonight,” he sang to himself, “when I'm feeling looonely? Who's gonna shooow me the light? `Cause I need to knoo-o-ow. With all the things weee've got, how can love just stop? Tell me.” The music he could barely hear in the background abruptly changed, the tempo growing faster. “Somebody help me understand why I'm not a part of your plan and you don't need me anymooore. Help me understand why I still wanna be where you are even though I know in my heeea-a-art that you don't love me” the music slowed, “anymoooooooore.”

Inui sighed then continued softly and slowly, “Who's gonna hooold me tonight when I'm feeling looonely. Who's gonna shooow me the light cause I need to knoo-o-ow. With all the things weee've got how can love just stop?” He paused for a moment, the music going quiet as he looked down at his lap. “Teeell me. Somebody help me understand.”(3)

Inui sighed again and put his head back in his hands, feeling miserable. Even the chance to study a phenomenon such as the singing up close and personal couldn't shake off his gloom.

He just wanted to sit here for a while.

“I'll Be There for You” by Bon Jovi

“And I Am Telling You” from the musical Dreamgirls

“Help Me Understand” by Trace Adkins