Prince Of Tennis Fan Fiction ❯ Translate This ❯ But Words Will Never Hurt Me ( Chapter 17 )

A/N: Including this chapter, there will only be 3 more chapters. As White Alchemist Taya from Fanfiction.net requested, I will be including an epilogue. Now…time for some whining on the author's part.

 

Looking back at this entire story, I've realized just how much it kinda…well… Sucks. I think the problem is that I've changed as a person, changed my values, my views of how life and everything in it functions. I am a different person now than the person I was when I sat down to write Chapter 1.

 

I believe that writing is one of the best ways to express a person's emotions, their feelings and beliefs all leak out once pen touches paper. (Or in my case, fingers touch keyboard) Therefore, this story has changed with me. But the problem is, it's not supposed to. Consistency has always been what I've strived for in a fanfiction, and this is anything but. I know that it's too late to go back and rewrite, so I've decided to just finish what I've started.

 

Don't get me wrong; I am elated with all the reviews I've gotten (over 60 reviews! You guys really rock), and I'm so happy that people actually take the time to read “Translate This”. It's just that, I'm not satisfied with myself, and I think this story could have been much better if I had done things differently. I doubt anybody's reading all this, but I just had to put it here in case some of you are.

 

But enough self-pity blabbering, on with the story!

 

 

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Translate This

 

 

 

But Words Will Never Hurt Me

 

 

 

Narrator's POV

 

 

Tenaya leaned back in the swivel chair in front of her desk and sighed, staring out the window at the cloudy sky. She pet Hikari, who was laying under her desk asleep, with her foot and twiddled her pen. She had been trying to write a new song, but she couldn't focus for the life of her.

 

 

And we all know what she was thinking about instead right?

 

 

She closed her eyes, and couldn't help but smile as she remembered the dance last night. It had gone really well, actually, nothing she wasn't supposed to say slipped, no tears, no yelling, one small squabble, but that was normal.

 

 

But what she was really pondering over was what Fuji had said. Did she really know what she was doing? She knew for a fact that she wanted her departure to be as quick and painless as possible, but she didn't know if she was going about the right way of doing it. Was Ryoma worth throwing away just for that?

 

 

“Gosh, I'm such a bitch.” She whispered to herself. She really was being selfish. Just because of what she wanted, she was trying to ignore all of the signs that were practically slapping her in the face.

 

 

She knew Ryoma had feelings for her. She wasn't sure exactly what they were, but she knew they were there. Did she feel the same?

 

Actually, she preferred not to think about that. If she could get through today without any slipups, from her and him, then she would be fine. After all, her flight was tomorrow morning.

 

 

The doorbell rang, snapping her out of her thoughts. Hikari snorted, went back to sleep, and Tenaya got up to answer the door.

 

 

 

Ryoma's POV

 

 

I looked down at the worn out welcome mat on the front porch as I waited for somebody to open the door. As soon as I heard the doorknob turn, I looked up to see Tenaya, dressed in dark grey sweats, a navy element t-shirt, and her hair up in a ponytail. I forced a smile on my face. “Hey.”

 

 

She smiled. “Hi Ryoma.”

 

 

I shifted nervously. “I just wanted to hang out with you a little…you know. Since you're leaving tomorrow.”

 

 

She nodded. “Yeah of course. Come in.”

 

 

I nodded and stepped into the house, slipping off my shoes and then following her down the hall to her room. As soon I got in, Hikari jumped up from where she was laying and trotted over to greet me.

 

 

I smiled and pet her smooth, white head. “I can't believe I was once afraid of her.” I muttered.

 

 

She laughed softly to the left of me where she had sat on the bed. “That was pretty funny.”

 

 

I laughed with her and sat down. “So, did you have fun last night?”

 

 

“Yeah, it was great. Did you?”

 

 

I nodded. “Yes, it was pretty fun.”

 

 

We sat in silence for a little while after that. Although it wasn't an awkward silence, I still felt a little out of place. This wasn't like Tenaya. She's never this quiet. When we're together, I'm usually the one who listens while she talks.

 

 

I guess it'll have to be the other way around this time.

 

 

“You're leaving tomorrow huh? The past two months have really gone by fast.”

 

 

She sighed. “Yep. Felt like just yesterday when I sat down next to you in English class for the first time.” She smiled. Her first genuine smile I had seen so far today.

 

 

I loosened up too. “You know, I really didn't know what to make of you then.”

 

 

She glanced at me. “Really? I thought for sure that you found me a little weird. Most people do.”

 

 

“Well, kinda.” I hesitated. “But not just weird. No offense but…” I laughed. “You scared me just a little bit.”

 

“How?” She exclaimed curiously.

 

 

“I don't know…it was kind of like, you were so different from any other girl that I was a little caught off guard, I suppose. I thought you'd be a little like Sakuno at first…”

 

 

She made a face and I laughed. “But definitely not now.”

 

 

“So who do you think I'm like now?” She propped her head up on her hands and looked at me with a smile on her face.


I looked down at her, and grinned. “Tomo.”

 

 

“Hey!” She hit me lightly on the leg and we laughed. “Nah…I don't think you're like her. You're like…like nobody I've ever met.”

 

 

She grinned. “If that's a good thing, then thank you.”

 

 

&&&

 

 

Narrator's POV

 

 

Ryoma and Tenaya spent the next few hours, just talking, singing songs, and having fun. Pretty soon, they had both forgotten that she was leaving the next day. Tenaya would play the guitar, and they would sing together, making up silly words where the original lyrics had been forgotten. They looked at pictures that Tenaya had taken over the last two months, and couldn't help but laugh at some of the funny faces Eiji came up with. They even prank called Tezuka, pretending to be the tennis director of the school and telling him that he was fired, and ended up getting yelled at when Tezuka finally found them out. But when Tenaya apologized, even Tezuka loosened up a little and laughed with them.

 

 

Ryoma smiled at that. It was so amazing how she could make everybody around her relax.

 

 

A few hours later, Tenaya and Ryoma were both laughing on the bed so hard that their stomachs were beginning to hurt. Tenaya sat up and wiped her eyes, looking at the clock. “Wow. It's been over 3 hours, it's already 5:00.”

 

 

“Really?” Ryoma sat up. “Wow, you're right. Time flies when you're having fun.” He grinned.

 

 

She nodded in agreement. They had had so much fun, that she had accidentally knocked over her empty water glass, chipping a piece off of the edge.

 

 

“Tenaya!” Her mom's voice came from downstairs. “Come help me with this box!”

 

 

“Okay!” She yelled back. “I'll be right back.” She said to Ryoma, and padded out of the room.

 

 

Ryoma sighed and lay back down onto the bed. Yes, time really did fly when he was having fun. But then again, time only seemed to fly when he was with her. Unlike tennis, which was tiring after a while, all he needed was to be near her, and they would have a blast. He smiled. What he said earlier was true. She really was like no other girl in his life.

 

 

He covered his eyes with his hands and smiled sadly. He'd found this girl…well, more like she found him. But they had come together two months ago, and his feelings had been a roller coaster the whole time. He thought about what Fuji had said, about her feelings. So what if she didn't feel the same? He'd found the girl he loved, and he wasn't about to let her go that easily. Was he?

 

 

According to his philosophy, it was better to do something you might regret later on than to regret doing nothing. (WOW! Ryoma actually has a philosophy.)

 

 

He sat up.

 

 

He loved Tenaya.

What other reason was there?

 

 

It had never hit him so hard before as it did now.

 

 

A few times during their afternoon together, Ryoma would take his attention off whatever they were doing to focus on Tenaya. He loved how she always sang with a little smile on her face. He loved the way she clutched her stomach when she laughed hard, and the way her bangs kept falling stubbornly into her eyes. He loved the way that when he spoke, she would always keep eye contact, staring at him, almost as if directly into his soul, and he loved the way her grey eyes would shimmer when she said his name. He loved her for every thing she was, and a million reasons more. He loved her, he loved her, he loved her to the point where it almost hurt. So how could being just friends with her ever satisfy him?

 

 

“We can't remain friends anyway.” He thought sadly. Not with them at opposite sides of the world.

 

 

The door opened, and in walked Tenaya, a shining smile on her face. “I'm back. Whew.” She said, rubbing her arms. “That box sure was heavy. I could barely get it to the car for mom to take to the moving company.” She looked at Ryoma, who had plastered a smile on his face at the last minute. She cocked an eyebrow at his fake smile, but decided not to say anything. “They said they'll be back in about half an hour. Are you done with your water? I'm taking mine to the kitchen.” She said, nodding towards his half empty glass of water.

 

 

He nodded, handing the glass to her. He watched as she took it with hers, and headed back towards the door. He watched her retreating back and it felt as if she really was walking out of his life. It might sound stupid since he knew that she was just going to the kitchen, and would be back in a matter of minutes, but for some reason, he just couldn't sit and watch as she walked away.

 

 

“I love you.”

 

 

She froze, an inch from the doorway. She turned around with a startled look on her face. “What?” She asked shakily.

 

 

“I--.” He sat up straighter and took a deep breath. “I love you. I love you, Tenaya, and I don't want you to go.”

 

 

She shook her head, willing time to turn itself so that she didn't have to hear those painful words.

 

 

His heart clenched, but he continued. “When I met you, I thought that you'd be a bother to drag around. And then a little later, I thought maybe we'd become good friends. And as time wore on, I found myself wishing for something more than a platonic relationship with you. I—“

 

 

“Stop.” She whispered in a low, almost dangerous sounding voice. She clenched her eyes so hard that it numbed her brain. She wasn't supposed to be hearing him say this.

 

 

“Tenaya?” Ryoma whispered her name, his voice full of concern. “I'm sorry…but I just had to tell you befo—“

 

 

“NO. Stop!!” She shook her head as if it would help make his voice go away.

 

 

“Tenaya…” Ryoma stood up from the bed and came over to Tenaya. He gently put a hand on her trembling shoulder but she rudely shook him off. “Listen, I'm sorry but…” He never got to finish his sentence, because as soon as he put his hands back onto her shoulder, she whipped her arm around, striking Ryoma on the side of his face with the jagged edge of her glass. Fortunately, Ryoma's reflexes were pretty fast, and he avoided the full of the blow, getting a deep cut, but not as deep as it would have been if he hadn't moved away.

 

 

It still hurt though.

He winced, and put a hand up to his bleeding cheek. The blood was already running down his face in a slow and steady trickle. He backed away from her slowly.

 

 

She whipped around, tears streaming down her face. “What did I do?” She whispered. She looked down at the glass, still in her hand. A drop of blood hung from the jagged edge. Ryoma's blood.

 

 

He shook his head. “No, it's okay it doesn't hurt.”

 

 

She looked up at him, and her eyes filled with tears again. “Did you say that…you loved me?” She said, in a trembling voice.

 

 

He hesitated, but nodded slowly.

 

 

She gasped and lowered her head. She slid to her knees onto the floor. “No! No no no…” She shook her head. “No you don't love me. You can't love me! Ryoma.” She looked up, her eyes blurry. “Listen to me, what you're feeling, it's not love! It's not!!”

 

 

He quickly wiped the blood off his face. “What are you talking about?” He had never loved anything or anyone so much in his life.

 

 

“You don't know what you're talking about! It's not love, you have no idea what you're saying or thinking.”

 

 

“Of course it's love!! What else can it be?” He stood, blood covered hand trembling. “All my life, I've been confused and unsure about everything, but once I met you, it's all cleared up! Nothing has been clearer to me than this!! If what I'm feeling isn't love, then what is it?!”

 

 

“NO!!!” She screamed and raised her arms, throwing the glasses down onto the floor in front of her with all her might. They shattered into a hundred pieces, and water splashed onto her pants. “No…” she sobbed, and fell into a heap onto the floor, right on top of the bits of glass. Ryoma hurried over to her, afraid that she would hurt herself, but as soon as he touched her, she lashed out, smacking his hand away.

 

 

He glanced down at his arm, and saw blood, and then looked down at her crying form. Her arms were already covered in bleeding scratches. His own eyes teared up at the sight of her in pain.

 

 

“Go away!” She cried hoarsely, looking up at him with a tear-streaked face and eyes that shown of heartbreak. She didn't care that she was a bloody mess. She took one look at his despairing eyes and the emotions welled up. She didn't want this. All she wanted was for them to part on good terms. If he loved her…how the hell was she supposed to leave?

 

 

“Just go away…” Her yells had quieted down into quiet sobs, but were just as hurtful, if not even more. She was angry. She was angry at herself for hurting him, both physically and emotionally. She was angry at herself for being so selfish, for rejecting his feelings for her own sake. She was angry at the fact that no matter what she had done…she hadn't been able to keep her feelings locked away. “Go away…”

 

 

Ryoma's heart ached with betrayal and confusion, but he decided to do as she asked.

 

 

So he left. He walked over the broken glass, the blood and water, past the sobbing girl. The girl who wanted nothing to do with him. He walked down the hall and past the kitchen, eyes emotionless, and slipped his blood-covered feet into his shoes and opened the front door. But as soon as he got outside, he ran. He ran down the street, blindly tripping and stumbling until his vision blurred and his tears mixed in with his blood. He ran until he couldn't run anymore, and collapsed into a heap on the grass at the small park, in front of the swing set that stood broken before him. And after that, he cried like he never had before

 

 

&&&

 

 

It was Sunday morning, and Tenaya's flight was in about two hours. The whole Seigaku gang had showed up at her house before the departure, and they all exchanged tearful goodbyes. Tenaya had given everyone of them a hug, even Kaidoh, and thanked them all for being such wonderful friends. She saw Fuji's royal blue eyes mist as she turned to embrace him. “I'll never forget you Fuji…” She said sadly. He nodded. “I love you Tenaya, never forget that I'm here if you need it.” Her grateful smile was all the thanks he needed. And he could smile back, for he knew that he meant it just as he had said it.

He loved her as a friend. He really did, and that was all he was asking for.

 

 

The Echizens were kind enough to drive them to the airport, so Mrs. Rialles, Joan, and Carter piled into Mrs. Echizen's car, and Ryoma and Tenaya got into Nanjiroh's car. But before she did, she turned to look at them once more. Tezuka, Oishi, Takashi, Momo, Kaidoh, Inui, Kikumaru, and Fuji. She smiled sadly, and shut the door. They waved at her as the car began picking up speed, and she waved back, eyes tearing up.

 

 

So much for quick and painless.

 

 

Tenaya's POV

 

 

I looked down at my bandaged arms and hands as the car sped along the highway towards the airport. I glanced to the right of me where Ryoma sat still, face devoid of any emotion. I winced. I hadn't seen him this serious in a long time.

 

 

I hadn't said a word to Ryoma since yesterday afternoon. Nor he to I. But the silence was just too loud to handle anymore, so I tried to break the silence.

 

 

“I'm sorry…” I whispered quietly. Ryoma turned to face me. “What?” He said.

 

 

I cleared my throat. “I'm sorry.” I repeated. “For that.” I gestured towards the bandage on his cheek.

 

 

“Oh.” He reached up a hand to touch the bandage. “It's ok.”

 

 

Silence.

Well that worked well.

 

 

I sighed softly, and twiddled my thumbs. I had really screwed up this time. I tore a gash in his face with a broken cup, and yelled in his face that he had no idea what he was talking about. I might as well have just screamed “I HATE YOU!” in his face.

 

Go me.

 

 

Who knew being selfish hurt so much? Forget my own pain, it could barely touch on what Ryoma must be feeling right now.

 

 

We arrived at the airport, and Ryoma carried my suitcase for me the whole way. I waited with him in the gateway chair for a few minutes before the rest of my family had come in with their luggage.

 

 

Then we all stood up and exchanged goodbyes. I embraced Mrs. Echizen and thanked her for everything, even gave Nanjiroh a hug for being kind to me. Joan and Mom gave all three Echizens hugs, and Carter shook everybody's hand. And as soon as all the farewells were done being exchanged, Mom, Joan, and Carter took their bags and headed for the terminal gate.

 

 

I turned around to face Ryoma. Instead of the detached look on his face just minutes ago, his eyes shone with an emotion that I, for once, failed to recognize. I felt my throat tighten but I pushed the feeling away. Thankfully, I didn't cry. Although I'm pretty sure that I had run out of tears anyway.

 

 

Ryoma's POV

 

 

Words could not describe the feeling I was overcome with when I saw Tenaya pick up her bags and turn towards the gate. This was it? This was how it was going to end?

 

 

“Wait.” I said hesitatingly, trying to buy some time.

 

 

She turned around, and looked at me expectantly.

 

 

“I—“ I sighed. “So this is goodbye…then?”

 

 

She nodded, keeping her gaze diverted. She never did that. “Goodbye.” She said breezily, and I felt my heart clench painfully at her empty tone of voice.

 

 

“Um…call me sometime?” I asked.

 

 

“I will.”

 

 

But her eyes told a different story.

 

 

&&&

 

 

I stood beside my dad in front of the large airport window, watching as Tenaya's plane began picking up speed. My mom had gone to the bathroom, leaving the two of us alone. I kept my gaze focused on the plane as it lifted off the ground and rose into the air. She really was gone.

 

 

As she should be. She was born in, and grew up in America. Japan meant nothing to her.

 

I meant nothing to her.

 

 

Before I could think about it more, my dad's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

 

 

He put a hand on my shoulder and looked down at me. “You can't always get everything you want, son. No matter how much you love it.”

 

 

I shook my head. “I know. I'll be fine.” But my voice cracked and my dad sighed, wrapping an arm around me and giving me a squeeze before turning to exit the terminal lounge.

 

 

“I'll be fine.”

 

 

But as always, words meant nothing.

 

 

 

&&&

 

 

 

A/N: Yay for long chapters! This one was a little dramatic and dark, I know, but it's a little too late now to change it. Plus, I'm actually kinda satisfied with this chapter.

 

 

I managed to write this in one day. Go me! Although it's currently 3:00 AM and I'm as tired as hell. I think I'll upload it sometime tomorrow. Now, time for some more coffee.

I don't know if you guys noticed, but Daisuki and Genma just disappeared off the face of the earth…Yeah, I got tired with them. Oh well, I doubt anybody liked them anyway.

 

 

Whew. Just two chapters left!

 

Thanks to all reviewers, and I hope you enjoyed!