TITLE: Who Says College is Easy?

PART: One

GENRE: Shounen-ai (Humour/ Continuation/ Angst / Romance)

DISCLAIMERS: The series I'm referring to does not belong to me… ^_^ only this weird story does.

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Part One: Screaming Against Sakura

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Mizuki strolled down the avenue towards his condominium unit. He should have used his car, but at the rate he was going, he knew he would get into an accident the moment he turned left from the driveway. He was better off walking a couple of kilometres home... after all, the darkening sky made him feel a bit better than he had for a few weeks now.

He shivered underneath his loose lavender trench coat, and instinctively wrapped his arms around himself, his backpack swinging side to side, the bulky part abandoned on his back. These were the times he wished he had not entered the international university he was currently enrolled in. These were the times he wished that he had not filed for that scholarship, and filed his application for the College of St. Rudolph instead. He would be happier that way... it wasn't as if he was happy now... maybe the fitting word is 'better off'. Yes, that was it. He would be better off if he enrolled in St. Rudolph.

He missed Akazawa, his best friend since his preparatory school years. They had almost been inseparable then... until they parted ways a year and a couple of months ago... when they took the step to the Big C. The taller boy remained in St. Rudolph... and he had walked away. Now, all he had left of the former junior high captain of his secondary school Alma Mater were a bunch of funny phone messages... and a handful of calls on his cellular phone.

No one he personally knew enrolled in his university... maybe the bunch of brainiacs he secretly made fun of... but other than them... no one. He was virtually alone in his new world... his new miserable world.

It was surprising to know that he wasn't feeling too sorry for himself during his freshman year. He became friends with Fuji Syusuke after all. Yes, the tennis prodigy was also enrolled in his university... and it seemed at that time, that the other boy would ignore his presence like what he did during their junior high days. However, surprises never ceased as the brown-haired wonder approached him and extended a frail-looking hand for him to shake. If he was not actually in front of him, he would not have believed. But he was there. He was at that time... and at that place.

And he couldn't deny that his heart leapt the moment their skin touched.

There was the undeniable presence of electricity... of obvious chemistry. Mizuki wondered if the past was forgotten already... forgiven too. They became friends first... then they became closer... until Fuji Syusuke became the centre of his world, the point force of his being... the focal point of his existence. He loved him... plain and simple. It may seem dramatic... but it was the truth. It came to the point where he knew if he lost him, he would break to pieces.

And in that cold late spring night, break he did.

Mizuki closed his eyes, halting in his steps for a short while, leaning against one of the Sakura trees that lined the avenue. They were shedding their blossoms, and if it was any ordinary day - minus the heartache, he would have gasped out in wonder at how heavenly they seemed fluttering down and colouring the grey asphalt roadway and the rapidly thinning grass struggling to live in line with their dark roots. The dainty pink blooms showered upon him... and the wind blew the blossoms that landed on his shoulders away, into the hostile environment away from their sturdy parents deeply rooted into the fertile soil. And his long hair blew with the fragrant wind. It should have been pure ecstasy... if not for the pain gradually consuming his body, threatening to split him open.

His hand involuntarily reached up at shoulder level, and twirled a wayward clump of silky jet-black hair. Slowly, he slumped against the trunk more, sliding down until he was sitting forlornly... as if the world had just crashed down upon his shoulders. People were staring... but frankly, he did not care.

Fuji used to stare long hours at him... and when asked why, all he did was smile more and keep his mouth shut. That beautiful mouth perpetually curved to a small knowing smile... as if he knew something Mizuki didn't... which was, for the most part... true.

Fuji Syusuke.

The name left such a sweet taste in his mouth... and such a bitter one too.

Mizuki looked up at the late afternoon sky. The wind was picking up speed... and he knew it was a prelude to a total downpour. He tried to compose himself and stand up... but his shaking limbs couldn't seem to obey the orders of his usually more powerful brain.

Fuji Syusuke.

He destroyed my life completely... He mused almost in amusement. And everything was planned... down to the very acrimonious end. He gave a little laugh, eyes closing once again as a lone raindrop landed on the tip of his nose. And yet... I cannot seem to hate him... Whenever I try... all I can do is hate myself for being such a huge moron...

He had acted as if he was a love-starved human being... one that craved attention every minute... one that revelled in every word of praise... one that clung only to the one who had penetrated the barrier he had erected around his heart since his first love died of malignant cancer during his junior high days.

He was plain pathetic... that was what he was.

More droplets of rain fell from the sky, and he felt each and every one of it... as if his senses were sensitised overnight, heightening his pain more... increasing his feeling of loss... slowly devouring the hopeful part of his tainted soul.

Ah, someone was calling him... it sounded familiar, but he had not the energy to process who it was. All he knew was that someone was calling him... and that was enough. Ignorance is bliss... if only he could keep his mind tuned that way... then he wouldn't have to deal with pain so badly.

Mizuki-san...

Ah, that was what Fuji called him first... before moving on to a more familiar name... "Hajime-chan... You called me that, didn't you Fuji?" He whispered... delighting in the way the wind carried the words to his waiting ears like a gentle caress.

Mizuki-san...

Ah... that name is good enough... at least he knew someone still recognized him around these parts.

And suddenly, it wasn't raining anymore. Surprised at the magical halt of rain, his eyes snapped curiously open and encountered a void of dark nothingness. He blinked. Everything was dark... was he blind?

"Mizuki-san..."

Jarred to reality, he quickly shifted his gaze to the side, dark eyes focusing on the worried features of someone who looked so familiar... He rubbed his hands against his eyes and peered once more at the person who intruded in his thoughts. "You... you're... you're the one with Shishido..."

"Aa... I'm Ohtori Choutarou, his best friend... I think." He was dealt a warm smile. It was so friendly that he had to smile back... just slightly...

"Best friend..." He echoed in confusion. He thought the two were together... in a...

"Hai, Mizuki-san." Came the cheerful answer. "Contrary to popular belief, just his best friend."

Mizuki reddened in embarrassment. "Oh." Was his intelligent answer. "...Oh."

Ohtori laughed a joyous little laugh. "Hai, Mizuki-san. Iko, Issho ni? The rain is pouring harder now... we'll both get sick if we don't get home soon." He wriggled the hand holding up his big black umbrella and extended the other hand to help the older boy get up.

Mizuki stared at the offered hand and marvelled at how slender it was. An artist's Hand. He thought in wonder. However, the feeling was short-lived as he remembered the same gesture made by a different person many months ago, and he stiffened. They have the same hands... He and Fuji... they have the same hands... the same gestures... He shook his head and got up hastily. He had to get out of there... and fast... before he lost it again... He just couldn't deal with it at the moment...

I can't...

And he ran away on shaky limbs, leaving Ohtori gaping in shock at him behind.

* * *

It was dark, but he did not want to open the lights. He was perfectly happy with the way the rain thundered like a thousand hooves were let loose outside. He was perfectly happy with not knowing whatever it was he broke the moment he stumbled inside his unit. He was perfectly happy not seeing whatever it was he resembled as he made his way to his bedroom.

He was perfectly happy not seeing anything at all.

Tears escaped his closed lids, rebelling against his mind's orders once more... but he let it be. After all, no one could see him in the dark... his favourite stuffed bear given by Akazawa when they were still children would not see his weakness... nor would the other stuffed bear he owned, the larger one given by the one who broke his heart a million times with just five painful words, would see him snivelling like some pathetic kid left behind during a field trip.

At least in the dark, no one would know his pain.

He could still feel those loving arms around him... hear those sweet nothings pressed against his sensitive ear... see those beautiful blue eyes stranded in a seemingly perpetual smile...

And the echo of a sudden rejection still reverberated in his unsuspecting brain.

/You are nothing to me.../

The flow of salty rivers down his cheeks seemed ceaseless... but it did not matter...

No one could see... no one will see...

He was tricked to believing that he was special... he was tricked to believing that he deserved Fuji Syusuke as his love... he was tricked into believing many things...

He was tricked to believing that what he was receiving was pure unadulterated love.

He hugged himself, retreating further into the shadows of his walk-in closet... away from the rest of his world. A sob broke from the shivering form.

"I am nothing, am I not?"

He laughed bitterly, his hand involuntarily reaching up to coil long dark strands of hair around his trembling fingers.

"Am I not...? Ne - Fuji?"

* * *

"Shishido-san... I'm troubled."

Shishido stopped moulding the clay for his sculpting class the next day, looking at him and listening with undivided interest. He did not speak, and his silence prompted Ohtori to start his awkward tale.

"It's Mizuki-san." He started, taking in a deep worried breath. "He seems... troubled about something..."

"Troubled?" Shishido dared to ask, wiping his hands on one of his wet towels. "How so?"

"I don't really know why... but he seemed to be in a lot of pain... as if he lost someone important. I asked Fuji-san about it a while ago... well, you know they were really close months ago... demo..."

"What did he say?"

"He just smiled his usual creepy smile and said he did not know anything about it... that if Mizuki-san wanted to talk to him about something, he should have done so sooner." Ohtori fidgeted on his seat, scuffing his running shoes on the floor warily. "He said maybe it was because of bad grades or something... after all, Mizuki-san is here on scholarship..."

There was a hanging question in the air as both boys stared at each other. Shishido blinked first, looking away, lost in thought. Ohtori wondered if he knew something about it, since Mizuki did become his sempai's roommate before the former left to move to the new condominium unit a couple of kilometres from the university entrance.

"Maybe you shouldn't put too much attention to him." Shishido said quietly. "It's his business anyway."

The younger boy gaped at him. "Shishido-san! How could you say that? He's your friend too, you know... and you just cannot leave him like that without doing anything or at least knowing anything!" A frown marred his usual joyful features. "I never knew you could be so heartless!" He stood up in indignation.

Shishido sighed, shaking his head before fixing him with a sympathetic gaze. "Mizuki had problems with Fuji... they broke up then, I think... and as far as I know, he had never been the same sly guy I've known for almost one and a half years." He looked away, focusing once more on the moulded lump of grey matter on his moulding plate. He laid his hands on it and pressed lightly. "I'm not saying that the perpetrator is Fuji... but I have a hunch that it had something to do with him... or Mizuki wouldn't be avoiding that guy like the plague." He started preparing his clay again.

They were both silent, each immersed in their own thoughts.

"Shishido-san."

The older man stopped his mashing and turned to his friend. "What is it, Choutarou?"

Ohtori grinned at him, rivalling the brightness of the sun itself. Shishido jokingly told himself that was going to be blind if it kept on. As usual, when faced with such happiness, all he could do was smile back. It was like a conditioned response.

"I'm going to do my best to make him happy again!"

* * *

Fuji sat down tiredly on the living room couch.

He was thinking a lot lately. Well, not exactly lately... more like recently - like when the former Hyoutei regular Ohtori called him up to ask something... something about Mizuki. He felt his insides coil painfully. He could not explain it, but there was that constant ache whenever he heard that name.

He thought that maybe it was guilt. After all, what he did was quite harsh. He leaned back and tilted his face up, that the back of his head hit the top of the chintz sofa. He stared at the concrete ceiling painted in various shades of tan. He stared at the brightly lit chandelier hanging directly above his head. He stared and stared... and all he could see were the pained features of Mizuki, drenched in the late spring drizzle.

Mizuki.

He did not want to be so hypocritical as to say that the other boy did not charm him at all. In fact he was so charmed that he knew he had to end his show or he would really be in trouble. It was then that he realized why his younger brother Yuuta had been so obsessed with his sempai.

Mizuki Hajime was one of a kind.

That much he learned from their "dates"... from their conversations everyday... from their rendezvous every night...

Mizuki was affectionate... and it took all of his self-control not to fall for those honest affections.

However, he had that weird feeling that... maybe... he did not possess that self-control at all...

Fuji closed his eyes, placing slender fingers against the lids, wishing for the heavens to open up and swallow him whole for being such an oversized idiot.

Maybe he had already fallen after all.

* * *

Ohtori sauntered towards the front desk of Ougon Jidai Biru, Mizuki's condominium. He looked around and marvelled at the glass figurines that littered the lobby. Wow... Mizuki-san must be as rich as Atobe-san... this place is palatial! He shook off his awe and reminded himself of his personal mission.

"Can I help you sir?" A sweet female voice intruded upon his thoughts. He blinked and blushed, bowing down low in a show of respect.

"Ah, yes... I'm here to visit one of your tenants..." He started; pausing suddenly as he saw the elevator open and a familiar figure step out, carrying a heavy-looking backpack and three thick books.

"Sir?"

"Huh?" Ohtori asked, eyes still trained at the bowed figure.

"I was asking for the name of your friend - sir! Please don't run in the halls - sir! Come back!"

But Ohtori did not pay any heed; his feet directed him to the focal point of his sight, breathing in much relief as he caught up quickly. "Mizuki-san!" He greeted cheerfully, his smile extending almost to both ears.

There was a small almost inaudible "EEP!" as said person halted and jumped away from him in surprise. Mizuki's eyes were wide... probably in shock from seeing someone familiar this early in the morning. "Ohtori!"

"WAH! Caught you off guard, didn't I?" The younger boy bounced beside him as they continued to walk outside. Ohtori knew he was acting like Jirou at the moment, but ... nevermind... at least his sempai wasn't too afraid of him this way. He wasn't going to act all mysterious like Shishido's demonic roommate or something... Yikes.

Mizuki smiled. "Yeah, you did." He allowed, tapping the younger boy's head with his books. "But don't you dare tell anyone... I got a reputation to protect!"

Ohtori could still see pain inside those mesmerising dark irises... but at least, Mizuki was smiling and going along with him... that was a relief. It was a bad thing to ask if he was fine, because it was clear that he wasn't... and it would remind the older boy of many things. How he wished he knew what those darned things were! He took a deep breath and grabbed the other's free hand, holding it firmly in his own. He grinned and started out in one direction, pulling Mizuki with him. "Hayaku Mizuki-san! We're going to be late if we don't go now!"

Mizuki wasn't quite sure how to react, but he let himself be pulled nevertheless. "Where are we going? I'm supposed to go to the library to do research about -"

"Never lie to your kouhai!" Ohtori admonished good-naturedly, pulling him harder. "I know you don't have any assignments today - and you don't have any research work for the week!"

"But my class -"

"AH! Your class is not until one-thirty in the afternoon! It's only eight a.m.!"

"Yes, but... wait a minute! How did you know that? Have you been STALKING me?" Mizuki demanded suspiciously, trying his best not to stumble down at the speed they were going... and the weight of his bag was destroying his body's sense of balance. It would be a miracle if he wouldn't fall flat on his face twice. Major ouch. "Where are we going anyway?"

"To the coffee shop! Breakfast every morning from six to ten! Choice of refill - Chocolate or coffee! Great deal!" Ohtori recited, still pulling. "And you're right - I AM stalking you! It's fun!"

"Oi... stop talking like a telemarketer for heaven's sake!" Mizuki called out "Ite... and what did you say about stalking? It's not fun! Oi! Don't pull too hard..."

"Come on, slowpoke!"

Ohtori's laughter echoed inside his mind... and strangely...

His heart.

* * *

"So... all I have to do is glue the pieces together on the plate and we'll be done?"

"..."

Atobe Keigo glared at his project partner. "Oi, I'm talking to you!" He poked the other with the blunt end of his fountain pen. "I was asking if..."

"Yes, I heard you the first time, Atobe."

"Then why didn't you answer the first time?" He huffed, crossing his arms in annoyance.

"Because I've answered that question thrice ever since we came in here."

Atobe looked faintly surprised. "You did?"

"Hai."

"Oh."

"Maybe if you focus more on what I am saying rather than whatever it is about me that you're particularly fascinated with, you'd hear me."

"Oi, don't be such a wet blanket!" Atobe exclaimed, a smirk on his lips, those intense eyes staring at his partner once more. "I like staring at you."

"Why is that?"

"You're interesting."

"..."

Atobe chuckled, poking the other once again. "Don't sweat it, it's just one of my habits."

"That's what I am afraid of."

"Oh?"

A nod. "Stop looking at me like you are going to gobble me up alive, that's all I ask."

"Hai, hai, Tezuka-chan!"

"Don't call me that."

* * *

"Oh, look, it's Atobe-sempai and Tezuka-san!"

Mizuki's eyes strayed from the person across him to the two students squeezed inside one of the more private booths away from the windows. " Ah... probably partners in a project or something."

Ohtori sipped his hot chocolate and nodded, tearing a piece of his croissant and popping it into his mouth. "Sou!" He intoned after swallowing.

Mizuki couldn't help but smile. The other boy was filled with much happiness that it radiates out of him in huge warm waves. Now he knew why Shishido had chosen him to be a close friend. He shook his head in amusement and took a sip of his warm oolong tea. "The food is good in here... thank you for dragging me to this place."

"You've never been here before?"

Mizuki shook his head, tucking a stray strand of shoulder-length hair behind one small ear. "No, I eat breakfast in my flat. Like Shishido often does."

"Oh... then I'm gonna bring you here every single day, Mizuki-san!"

"Why are you doing this?" He asked quietly, cupping his warm mug between his hands. He looked up at unusually bright eyes... full of hope... and too much emotions to last seven people an entire lifetime.

A hand patted his comfortingly.

"Because, Mizuki-san... I want to make you happy again."

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TBC

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A/N: First chapter done! Hope you liked it! Reviews please! Tell me what you think! ^____^