Princess Mononoke Fan Fiction ❯ A Reason to Let Go ❯ Chapter 1

A Reason to Let Go

by tbossjenn

Note: This is the sequel to my "Waking Up" series, and it's set about five years later. Some background info: in the movie, Eboshi said that once the Forest Spirit was dead, then the animal gods would become dumb beasts and San would become human. This story operates on the assumption that the current gods (the wolves will probably be the only ones that show up in this story) are the last of their kind and that San will retain her wolf abilities but there will be no more humans like her. I know this isn't what the movie implied, but it's my explanation as to why the wolves are still intelligent and San is still a wolf girl. Now, on with the story. Hope you like it. : - )

* * *

"Pretty! Will you put them in my hair?"

"Of course, sweetie." San combed her fingers through her daughter's long dark hair and began to weave the flowers into it. The sun was warm, and she savored the sleepiness she felt. These kinds of afternoons were the best. Ashitaka laid stretched out beside her, fast alseep. San finished the girl's hair and said, "Moro, why don't you wake up your father?"

"All right!" The four year old pounced on Ashitaka's stomach, and he sat up with a startled grunt. "Get up!" she ordered, giving him a stern look.

He chuckled and hugged her. "Who am I to argue with the women in my life? Did you have fun today, Moro?"

"Yes. I like swimming. But what should I do with the frog?"

The frog they had caught earlier that day was still swimming around in their bucket. "Why don't we let him go?"

"But I like him. Can't I keep him?"

"I think he would be happier if he stayed here." Moro looked disappointed, but silently agreed. Ashitaka picked up the bucket and led her down to the waters edge. A quick splash and then the frog disappeared while Moro sadly waved goodbye. "It's all right honey, he's back with his family. He's happy now," Ashitaka said. His eyes found San, and he gave her one of those soft, quiet smiles she loved.

"San!"

San sat up and looked around. She could have sworn those bushes had talked to her.

"San, over here!"

She laughed. "Why are you two hiding in the bushes?"

Her brothers glumly stared at her. "Are you still coming? Hurry up before -"

"Wolfie!" Moro ran up and threw herself at the two wolves, who whinced.

"Hello, Moro."

Hel - arrrgh!" The other wolf gasped as the girl squeezed his neck.

Ashitaka put his arms around San. "Which one is 'Wolfie' again?"

"They both are."

"San?"

"Are you ready now?" The wolves sounded desperate.

San walked over to the pack and pulled out her wolf headdress. "Yes, I'm ready." She picked up her little girl and gave her a hug. "I'll see you tonight, all right?"

Moro hugged her back. "Yes, Mother." San put her down and jumped onto her brother's back. The wolves disappeared into the forest.

Riding home, Ashitaka sat astride Yakul with Moro sitting in front of him. "When can I go hunting with Mother?"

"When you're older, she'll take you."

"She'll teach me to be a real wolf?"

"She'll teach you to be like her." Ashitaka knew that San wanted to pass on the legacy of the Moro tribe to their daughter, and he wanted to do the same with his own Emishi way of life. If they could find a way to balance the two, then Moro would grow to be a fine and strong woman.

They approached the house, and Moro jumped down from Yakul's back and ran inside. Not long after he and San were married he set to work building a new home for their growing family. San had appreciated the space - she had felt too cramped in the small hut.

San came home not long after he and Moro finished their supper. Her clothes were wet, no doubt from washing off the blood. She changed and they played with Moro until:

"Come to bed now, Moro."

"No! I want to stay here."

"Listen to your mother," Ashitaka said, speaking his line in this nightly ritual.

"I'm staying here!"

"Moro, you will go to bed now or you will not come with us to Iron Town tomorrow," San warned.

"But, Mother ... !"

"I'm serious. We'll leave you here with your uncles and they will not be happy to see you." Grumbling, the girl stood up and trudged off to her room. San followed and returned awhile later. "Sometimes I don't know what to do with her."

"She's a lot like you."

"Please, Ashitaka! If I was that bad then Mother wouldn't have bothered. She would have just eaten me."

"I'm very glad she didn't, love," Ashitaka answered, reaching out for her.

San joined her husband on the floor by the fire, snuggling against him. "It's good that we're going to town tomorrow. I have missed Toki."

"They must wonder how we manage to keep ourselves hidden up here all the time." She didn't answer, and Ashitaka knew it was because she regretted keeping their daughter apart from humans. San would never feel completely comfortable among them, but she didn't want to cut her daughter off from others. Changing the subject, Ashitaka kissed the side of her neck and said, "You know what I miss? Being alone with you at the lake."

She leaned close to his ear and whispered, "But we're alone now. Unless you have forgotten what to do."

"Refresh my memory?" He kissed her, gently pushing her to the floor.

San slipped her arms around his neck and held him close. "I thought you wanted to wait until the lake."

"Do you really want to wait that long, San?"

"No..."

Both of them froze as they heard a soft giggle. With a sigh, Ashitaka disentangled himself from his wife and surprised the hidden little girl by picking her up and flinging her over his shoulder.

"Father!"

"Moro, we told you to stay in bed," he said, carrying her to her room.

"It's no fun."

"And it's fun to spy on your parents?"

"What were you doing?"

"Um ... we were ..." Ashitaka nervously ran his fingers through his hair, searching for an answer. "I was tickling her."

"Oh! But ... why wasn't she laughing?"

"Your mother's not ticklish," he replied quickly. "Okay, here we are! Do you want a story tonight?"

"Mother already told me one about the Kodama," she said, getting into bed.

"Then I guess two stories would be too many."

"No, I don't think so," she said casually. "You can tell me one. If you want."

"Why, thank you. I think I'll tell you about the time I met a princess."

"A real princess?"

"Yes. She wore a beautiful red kimono that was so brilliant that she glowed. In the day she spoke to the deer, and in the night she ran with the wolves. She was the princess of the gods, and most people said she was a ghost - not even real."

Moro's eyes were wide. "You saw her?"

"Yes. I saw her on the roof one night and I followed her to her secret place in the forest."

"Then what happened?"

"She asked me to marry her." He smiled at the surprised and amused look on his daughter's face.

"But mother never had a red kimono."

"She did once. Now it's time for sleep." Ashitaka kissed her cheek and warned, "Stay in bed. I mean it!"

Moro wisely did as she was told, drifting off to sleep imagining San glowing in the red kimono.

Ashitaka went to the room he shared with San to find his wife asleep on the bed. She must have been very tired because she was still fully dressed. Ashitaka sighed and began to undress her. Fighting samurai was nothing compared to raising a small, energetic child. With one finger he gently traced the tattoos on her face. Whether she was radiant in a fine kimono or tired after a long day of chasing Moro, San always looked so beautiful.

After putting her to bed, he turned to get undressed himself when a pair of slender arms slid around his chest. Ashitaka leaned into her touch, savoring her warmth pressed against his back. Her voice came in a hopeful whisper. "Is she asleep?"

"Yes. She's dreaming of you in Eboshi's kimono." He reached up and caressed a bare arm as it tightened against him.

"Hmmm... I had almost forgotten about that."

"I never have." Ashitaka turned and took her into his arms, kissing her softly. "I'm glad you didn't really fall asleep."

She laughed. "So am I, my love." Ashitaka began to unfasten his shirt, but she stopped him and said, "Let me do that."

San carefully slid the shirt off his shoulders and then slowly finished with the rest of his clothes. She let her hands run across his body, occasionally batting away his impatient hands. She finally let him kiss her, and then to her surprise he turned away and stifled a yawn. "I'm so tired! Why don't we do this some other time?"

San just gaped at him. "Ashitaka!"

With a laugh, he leaned toward her and whispered, "You're not the only one who can tease, love."

San pulled him close and softly growled, "Be quiet and come here ..."

* * *

"San! Ashitaka!" Toki waved to them, running across the bridge.

"Toki!" San slid down from Yakul's back and gave her friend a hug.

"I'm glad you're all here, it's been so long! Hello, Moro!"

Moro peered out from behind her father's arms. "She's a little shy," Ashitaka explained.

"That's all right, she'll come around." The young family followed her inside the town, and Moro stared at all the people she saw everywhere.

"How is the iron business?" Ashitaka asked.

"We're doing great. It's amazing how Lady Eboshi was able to build this place up after it was torn down twice."

"I think a lot of it has to do with you," he replied. Toki blushed but did not answer. When Eboshi left to live in Taira with her husband, she put Toki in charge of Iron Town. She made a good choice, for the people liked Toki and the town prospered under her guidance. Toki, of course, would never take the credit.

That night they joined Toki and Kouroku for supper in the dining hall. Moro had firmly planted herself in between her parents until Toki's young son had persuaded her to come out. The adults sat and watched them play with the other children. "Your daughter is wonderful," Kouroku said.

"Thank you. She's having such a good time. I guess only children can draw out other children," San replied.

"Yes, that's something my boy can do all right!" Kouroku laughed.

"Have you any news from Lady Eboshi?" Ashitaka asked. San visibly tensed, but said nothing.

"Yes! She's expecting a child," Toki said. "I guess everyone's having children these days. It's just as well; life goes on. They're hoping for a son - Eboshi had a daughter last time."

"Eboshi wants a boy?"

"Yes, it sounds strange to me too, but she wrote that she wants Lord Kei to have a son. She wants him to be happy."

San snorted. "I can't imagine that woman wanting to make a man happy."

* * *

That night the sky was dark as Iron Town slept.

Toki was startled out of her sleep by a pair of strong hands gripping her throat. A man kneeled on top her, his face obscured by a hood and mask. He sat so lightly upon the bed that Kouroku was still sound asleep beside her.

"You are not the gunwoman. Where is she?"

"I ..."

He flung her hard across the room, and before she could recover he grabbed her by the throat and pinned her against the wall. Kouroku was awake now. "Toki!"

"Where is the gunwoman?"

"You ... you mean Lady Eboshi?" Toki gasped.

"Yes. You will tell me where she is."

"Never."

Turning to Kouroku, the intruder said, "Tell me where I can find the woman, or I will kill your lifemate."

"Don't, Kouroku!" Toki shouted. The man tightened his grip, and she let out a strangled cry.

"Taira! The lady is in Taira with Lord Kei!"

The man released Toki, and she fell to the floor coughing. Suddenly, the door was flung open and Ashitaka entered, his sword drawn. The intruder recoiled from this new challenger. "You," he whispered.

"Ashitaka, stop him! He's after Lady Eboshi!" Toki warned.

"He won't leave this room," he answered evenly, fixing his gaze upon the dark man.

"You think you can stop me?" The intruder backed away, and ghostly black tendrils burst from his body.

Ashitaka knew what it was. The last time he had seen those shimmering, snakelike forms was when they had emanated from his own body. "Keep away from him, he's a demon!" he said. The man turned and leaped out the window. Ashitaka chased him onto the roof. "Stand and face me, coward!"

The man stopped and turned slightly, looking at him. Then he ran towards him so fast that Ashitaka barely had time to bring up his sword to block the demon's blow. The demon repeatedly struck at him, pushing him back until Ashitaka was pressed against the wall. The warrior was amazed that so much power lay within the man's slight frame.

"Don't be a fool. You can't fight me, you're not strong enough."

"I won't let you kill anyone."

"The woman deserves to die, you know this."

"What has she done to you? What have any of us done?"

Hissing, the demon knocked him down and jumped off the roof, landing on the ground beyond Iron Town's wall. Ashitaka saw him disappear into the forest.

Back in the bedchamber, Toki was yelling at her husband. "How dare you betray Lady Eboshi like that! How could you do it?"

Kouroku flinched from her glaring eyes. Looking away, he said, "I had to choose between the lady and my wife. I chose my wife."

Toki softened and finally put her arms around her husband. Holding him close, she whispered, "I know."

"He's gone - he escaped into the woods," Ashitaka said, climbing back in through the window. "Are you all right, Toki?"

"Yes, but how did you know he was here?"

"San smelled him - our window was open. She recognized the scent from Okkoto, and from me."

"You?"

"That man is suffering from the same kind of curse that I had. He has strength and power, and he is filled with hatred and the desire for vengeance. He will stop at nothing to kill Eboshi."

"But why? What does the lady have to do with him?" Kouroku asked.

"Maybe Nago cursed him the same way he cursed me, and he blames Eboshi for what happened."

"But that's impossible. That was five years ago - he would be dead by now."

"It must be something else, then."

"What are we going to do? We can't let that thing get to Lady Eboshi," Toki said.

After a few minutes, Ashitaka answered, "I will go after him myself; I'll leave for Taira tonight."

"So you're going to leave, then? Just like that?" San stood at the door, glaring at him.

"I have to get to Eboshi before the demon does."

"Ashitaka, you lost that power when the Nightwalker lifted the curse. You can't possibly defeat a demon by yourself," she said.

"I have to try." San turned and left. Ashitaka followed her outside. "I can't just let him kill Eboshi."

"Why? You don't owe her anything, and she already has a lot of people protecting her. We need you more than she does."

He put his arms around her and said, "Everything will be all right."

She gently pushed him away. "You can't promise me that."

"I can't just stand aside, not when I can do something about it."

San touched his cheek. "I know, but that doesn't mean I like it." She wished he didn't insist on taking so much upon himself. "I'll come with you."

"No, I want you here with Moro."

"I'm not letting you go fight this thing alone. You can't do it without me."

"San, I want you here in case I can't keep my promise."

She bit her lip, then muttered, "Fine." Taking him by the hand, she led him to their chamber. "Come say goodbye to your daughter."

"I couldn't wake her."

"She'll be more upset if you don't," she said roughly. "Go on."

Ashitaka knelt by the bed and nudged the little girl.

"Father?"

"Hello, sweet. I have to go away for a little while."

"Will you be back soon?"

"I hope so."

"All right then." Moro yawned and said, "Night."

"Goodnight, Moro." He caressed the girl's forehead, then got up to pack his things.

San walked Ashitaka to the bridge, neither of them saying a word. Finally, San drew him close and kissed him. Leaving his family was painful for him, she knew this. "Come back soon, Ashitaka."

"Anything you say, my love," he whispered, kissing her back. Ashitaka climbed onto Yakul's back and rode away, leaving San standing alone by the gate.

* * *

"So when is Father coming back?"

"I don't know, maybe in a few weeks."

It was the day after Ashitaka left for Taira, and San had gone home with Moro. The girl was playing by the fire and San was busy sharpening her dagger.

"I hope he comes back soon."

"So do..." Suddenly San stopped and listened, sniffing the air.

"Mother? What's wrong?"

San quickly picked up her daughter. "We have to get out of here, Moro. Right now."

Just then the door crashed in.

The demon stood in the doorway.

to be continued