RahXephon Fan Fiction ❯ Till death do us part ❯ Chapter 1

Till death do us part

A RahXephon: Pluraritas Concentio fanfiction by regie27

Standard Disclaimers apply

 

 

“Seal with a righteous kiss

A dateless bargain to engrossing death!”

Romeo and Juliet, Act 5, Scene 3

 

 

I can sense his breathing becoming more shallow and irregular as the minutes go by. He still stares at me with glassy eyes through half closed lids. The tight grip he held over my left shoulder just a moment ago has loosened as I watch his arm fall limp beside his body. I gather his head closer to my chest as I move in a soothing rocking motion. Soon it will be all over love. We will be soon in a place where you don't have to forget about me or where I don't have to see you whisked away from my side all over again. We will be at last together, for eternity.

 

His eyelids finally give up on him and close, his befuddled, accusatory glance no longer talking to me in silence. I'm glad. It hurt me so to see his beautiful blue eyes looking at me that way, peering deep into my soul. I remember so well how much it hurt me to witness that same confused glance when I brought him out of Tokyo Jupiter against his will. A tear manages to make its way out and I bend my head to dry it with a kiss. His skin feels cool against my lips. My own tears fall over his face, already paling with the mask of death. His life support unit beeps in alarm. I can't allow TERRA to get a hold of what I've done, so I remove the white vest that monitors his vital signs, but even if they knew, I doubt they would be able to help him. I have made sure I used the right dose to make this as quickly and painless as possible to him.

 

“You're a...horrible person...” he managed to mumble that day before passing out after I had no other choice but to sink the needle into his arm. Yes, I know. I know I can be an awful, selfish person but that same selfishness is what propelled me back to him because what is love but a derivate of selfishness?

 

I put a hand over his chest and I can't barely feel the beating of his heart and the rise and fall that denotes breathing is slowing to a crawl. The drug has almost taken it's toll over him. I close my eyes as I touch the hard steel of my pistol that rests in my waist. One shot has been already fired but there's plenty ammunition in the magazine for what it will be required to do. I click the safety off and wait, wait for him to draw his last breath.

 

What has driven me to make this decision, to push me to do this awful thing? I knew well that my work at TERRA would mean pushing aside my scruples for the sake of the mission, to lie and fight and sneak my way forward until I had fulfilled my orders. Isn't after all what an Intel agent must do, to deceive and lie to gather information, to use people as mere tools for an objective? Yes, I was willing to become that and worse just for the chance to see him again. When this mission had first arrived to the Intelligence Division, I volunteered without hesitation., knowing that it would entail making decisions that would put others into the line of fire, but that didn't mattered to me. I was coming back and that's all I wanted to know. I know that if I hadn't volunteered the mission would had been handed over to me anyway. I 'm very much aware that they accepted because they knew all too well the ties that bound me to Tokyo and to the Instrumentalist, to Ayato. They were willing to use me and my feelings to further their plans and foil the Mu's strategy. It seems that I am not the only awful person here. My commanding officers were willing to use anything they had at hand and couldn't care less about my feeling. All that it mattered to them was the objective. It was for the good of mankind, I rationalized as well i know the others did to to alleviate the guilt of their actions. But deep in my heart, all I wanted was to see him again.

 

I can still hear Commander Kunugi's voice as he made his case crystal clear in case my resolve faltered:

 

“Those whose blood turn blue lose their memories of the past and they get erased and rewritten to those of a Mulian. If an instrumentalist who has become Mulian tunes the world, it will lead to the denial of our world. It will mean the obliteration of the human race.” My reply had been emphatic that day:

 

“Then I'll do it. If it comes to that I'll kill Kamina myself!”

 

Perhaps Kunugi and the others thought I was willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of humanity, but if they knew the true reason, perhaps they wouldn't think so highly of me. The truth is that I don't care about humanity. I've been hurt and betrayed too much to believe in the good of mankind any longer. I just can't stand the fact that after all I had gone through, after all the searching and waiting, my existence and my love were to be erased from his memory just like I had never existed at all. That enraged me. There were not only content in building the barrier that pushed us apart in more ways than just physically. They forced me to grow into this older woman while he remained forever young inside the protective cover of the Absolute Barrier. Now with his blood turned blue, the final blow was to be dealt and that I could not take idly. How could I allow them to make my existence meaningless, a mere footnote in his life? Now that I had finally found him, held him, made love to him, was I to let him go in the cruelest of ways?

 

My reverie is interrupted by the loud wails of TERRA's alert sirens going off. My cell phone rings incessantly but I ignore its annoying chirps. I can imagine HQ must be sunk into utter chaos because the RahXephon hasn't left the launching pad as expected and they can't trace Ayato's signal, that of course also being my doing. The worse enemy indeed is the enemy within.

 

I hear the doors that give way to the Abacus open and quick, frantic steps break the silence. A figure clad in a white lab coat rushes in, running over the platform were I sit.

 

“Haruka!” he screams. Where is Ayato? What's going on here?”

 

I offer him a grim smile. I see his pupils constrict and his face become ashen as his eyes find Ayato's limp body with me. An empty syringe lies at his feet. Itsuki's mouth opens yet he struggles to articulate any words.

 

“What in heavens have you done to Ayato Captain Shitow?” His voice is cracking up. His hands tremble as his mind begins to add up the details until it all comes clear to him.

 

“I'm sorry Dr. Kisaragi...” I whisper.

 

“Do you realize what you have done...you've condemned Quon to death! You've condemned humanity to oblivion! Why...why Haruka?”

 

“Because I love him and I can't stand to have him lose his memories of me! Because I prefer him dead than have him forget about me. He's...he's not a red-blooded human anymore and I can't stand see him become this being, this pitiful shell of the man I love.”

 

“Haruka...”

 

“And now doctor, I will once again do what I've been doing all my life. I'll once again will search for him until I find him. I will make my way through heaven and hell to be with him.”

 

I raise the pistol with steady pulse. The cold, polished surface of the barrel graces the skin where my neck and head connect. The tip of my index finger comes to rest slightly over the trigger.

 

“For the love of God Haruka, don't do it!”

 

Itsuki begins to run but it's too late already. No one will stop me from finding my love again. I kiss Ayato's inanimate lips one last time, letting his voice guide me, allowing his spirit to lead me to him.

 

“Stop it, damn it, stop!” Itsuki is now at mere paces from me. His arms flail in front of him, trying to reach me, hoping to snap the pistol from my grip.

 

I stare at Itsuki with a smile as I let my finger squeeze the trigger. As I sense Kamina's presence lulling me to hurry, I allow two words escape my lips before the curtain falls:

 

“Goodbye.”

 

 

 

~Fin~

 

 

Author's Notes:

 

o_o

 

I guess that summarizes the expression you must be having right now. Believe it or not, I had the same expression after I wrote “Fin.” I had always thought that the scene when she's about to stop Ayato from piloting the RahXephon had been very dramatic and that the pendulum could have easily swayed the other way had she been in a more desperate and hopeless state. Of course the fact that I love Sokudo Ningyou and blue's dark takes on the Sailor Moon universe kinda propelled me to try something similar and here's the end result. Well, I'm sure glad this is out of my system. Writing this stuff is hard!

 

Hope you have enjoyed this journey into the dark and angst filled depths of RX.