Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Vegeta Nibunnoichi ❯ Prologue ( Chapter 1 )

insert standard disclaimer here. I don't own Dragonball Z, Ranma 1/2 or any of the characters.

Vegeta Nibunnoichi
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Prologue
Jusenkyou

(Before Namek)
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Goku, Yamucha, Krillin, and Tien are all out on a training trip. By some miracle Goku has also managed to sneak Gohan out with them.

Goku and Yamucha square off and begin to spar. Balancing on bamboo poles suspended above hundreds of tiny springs, they test each other's strength, trading blow for blow. Neither manages to gain the advantage. (No one pays any attention to the little man running around below, yelling "No, sirs! What you doing?? Very bad you fall in spring!!")

Enter Vegeta: "Kakarot! What the hell are you doing? What kind of Saiya-jin are you?"

Both fighters are distracted and Goku's last blow sends Yamucha spiraling down into one of the springs. Vegeta levitates in the air above, glaring at them. "I don't have to tell you how stupid you look, jumping around like an idiot on those poles, do I?"

Goku sighs. "Look, I told you, I'm not going to help you destroy the earth. This is my home!"

Vegeta grins evilly. "Well, if you aren't going to join us, I'll just have to eliminate you." He doesn't look disappointed at the prospect. He powers up quickly and fires a ki blast at Goku before the warrior has time to react.

Goku almost manages to dodge the blow, but is knocked off the pole and falls headfirst into the spring below.

"Dad!!!" Poor little Gohan, seeing his father hit full on by Vegeta's attack, powers up. His eyes roll back in his head, you know the deal. "Don't hurt my daddy!!!"

Gohan launches himself at his father's assailant. Vegeta doesn't see what hits him.
*Splash!*

Chaos ensues.

little man: "See? I tell you!!"

Krillin (sweat-dropping): "Huh?"

Vegeta: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! What have you done to me???"

Yamucha: Bweeeeeeeeeeee!

Goku holds up a sign: <Hey, this is actually kind of cool!>

Everyone facefaults.

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Vegeta picks the little man up by the collar and suspends him in the air; no mean feat, considering he was short to begin with and is now quite a bit smaller. And, er, bustier. "Old man! You'd better tell me how to reverse this if you value your life!"

"Please, sir, put me down!"

"Start talking!"

"Sir, you fall in cursed spring. There is no cure. But hot water turn you back to normal, see?" He produces a kettle from thin air and pours it over Goku.

"Ow! Hey, that's hot!"
A sopping wet Goku exclaims, "Hey Gohan, didja see me? I was a panda!"

Vegeta rolls his eyes disgustedly. "Baka. You're enjoying this!"

Tien eyes her up and down. "Hey, you're pretty cute. Nice tail."

A vein pops out in Vegeta's forehead. "What kind of moron are you? You _saw_ me fall into that spring!!"

"So, do you wanna go out sometime?"

"Get away!! Idiot!" Vegeta looks ill. "You have _three_ eyes and you still don't get it!! Stupid Chikyuu natives!"

She powers up and takes off. "You haven't defeated me! I'll get you for this!!"

Tien's eyes glaze over. "I must see her again..."

Krillin smacks him upside the head but doesn't bother explaining.

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Bulma sits with a bucket of cold water, and a kettle, pouring their contents alternatively on Goku and Yamucha. "Wow! This is fascinating!"

An unamused Yamucha glares at her. "Yeah, it's great. So can you fix it?"

"Well, I don't--"

"Bulma? Are you home?"

Goku panics. "Chichi! I can't let her find me!" He upends the cold water over himself, splashing Yamucha in the process.

"Bulma? There you are. Have you seen my husband? That baka snuck off with Gohan again. I'm going to kill him! How does he expect our son to get into a decent school?" she wails.

Goku flinches and holds up a sign. <No one here but us pandas!>
Yamucha rolls his eyes.

Bulma, not wanting to lie to her friend, says, "Well, I don't see him around..."

"Well, that's all right. Oh! What a cute pig!"

"Um, thanks."

Chichi bends down to pet him. "Is he a new pet?"

Yamucha smirks and gives Bulma a wink.
She thinks, "Yamucha, you wish!"

Sweetly, to Chichi, she says, "No, he's not mine, I just found him. Would you like to take him home?"

"Oh, Gohan would _love_ that. Thanks!" She walks out, holding Yamucha in her arms.

Goku grabs the kettle. "Bulma! How could you do that? Look at him! He has his grubby little snout on her chest!"

"Goku, I'm sorry, he just--"

"I can't tell her the truth! She would kill him, and then kill me for being a panda, and then kill me again for taking Gohan anywhere near that place!"

Exasperated, Bulma mutters under her breath, "For Pete's sake, Goku. Act like you've got a pair and stand up to your wife!"

Out loud, she says, "I'll see what I can do about coming up with a cure. There has to be a way..."

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End Prologue

I have plenty more where this came from. It's going to get good when Vegeta comes back to stay at Capsule Corporation. At some point you _know_ he's going to be on the wrong end of a giant ki hammer.

I have done a picture of what Vegeta-onna looks like, if any of you are curious :)

Email me at sango_chan@hotmail.com if you want to be notified of updates (make sure you mention this fic by name, because I have another I'm writing as well).

Please let me know what you think. This is my first attempt at a comedy, so pointers would be helpful...

Thanks :)