Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Love Hina Fan Fiction / Mahou Sensei Negima! Fan Fiction ❯ Coming Home to Roost ❯ Shit Happens Ranma Lama Ding-Dong ( Chapter 7 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Coming Home to Roost
by Shade

Disclaimer: Takahashi, Akamatsu, Tite Kubo and others own the characters used.

Warning: Strong Language, Suggestive Themes and a Sick Sense of Humor


-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Chapter 7: Shit Happens Ranma Lama Ding-Dong
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

-Then

"Izumi-san?"

"Here."

"Shiina-san?"

"Present!"

"Tatsumiya-san?"

The Mana chibi-plushie on the otherwise empty desk simply stared back in silence.

Negi scratched his head absently. It wasn't like her to miss class like this even
if she had warned him earlier that a new assignment might take longer then expected.
Even though he knew Captain Tatsumiya could certainly take care of herself he still
worried about her. But it wasn't like he could stop her either, when she was on the clock
she sometimes frightened him with her cold professional manner. Nevertheless, she had been
a good ally during the Kyoto trip and she was one of his precious students too.

All he could do now was continue to be a good teacher for when she came back.

"Rainyday-san?"

When the child teacher got no response to the attendence he sighed. Why did that
girl always insist on raising her hand instead of just speaking up? He could count
the number of times he'd actually heard Zazie's voice on one hand with fingers to spare.

He looked up from his desk.

"Where did she go?"

The chibi-plushie Zazie did not answer him. Which all things considered, was probably for the best.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

-Now

"Akane, don't do it. You'll really die."

"You stay out of this!"

Ranma sighed. His wife never cleaned up the bodies after she was finished. That was his job.

He got to his feet.

"And where do you think you're going?"

"To dig your grave, of course. You want the plot at the back or by the side of the house?"

Akane's face turned an angry shade of red.

"You jerk! Stop that! It's bad luck!!"

"Luck has nothing to do with it. I'm just hoping I won't need a squeegee to mop up all of the pieces again."

Happosai pulled out a frayed bra and blew his nose into it, sobbing about the waste
of such a pretty little thing.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-Then

"SAGARA!!!"

*BLAM*

Issei Tsubaki crashed to the classroom floor, a white beanbag shot imbedded firmly
in the near sighted martial artist's stomach.

It was a testament to the adaptability of human beings that absolutely nobody found
this a noteworthy event anymore at Jindai High. You simply got used to it after awhile.
Well, actually that wasn't true. One didn't get used to Sousuke Sagara. You simply pretended
to ignore everything he did that involved firearms or high explosives or both at the same time.
Unless he was aiming them directly at you, in which case the acceptable response was to run away
as fast as you could while screaming your bloody head off in order to help him distinguish innocent
civilians from legitimate targets for his rampage. And that actually worked four times out of ten.

*TWHACK*

"How many times have I told you to STOP shooting people at school," Kaname Chidori raged
at the still smoking body of her bodyguard, her lethal harisen brandished like an executioner's sword.

"That hurt."

Not for the first time, Sousuke wondered why Japan's large paper fans were not banned
by the Geneva Conventions. There was simply no defense against their terrifying power.
If the Japanese government ever began production of Arm-Slave sized harisens, the world was doomed.

"Hey, what's that?"

Shinji Kazama pushed his glasses up with one hand as with the other he touched the small stack
of papers on his friend's desk. Said friend became a lot less friendlier in the blink of an eye
as he suddenly materialized over the inquisitive mecha-otaku with a deadly red gleam where his
eyes should be.

"Depending on how much you saw, I may have to sanction you. In light of our time as fellow students
of this institution I will endeavor to make sure that it is quick and relatively painless."

Shinji froze into a statue as he croaked, "What do you mean by relatively?"

"Sousuke."

A sudden chill ran down the soldier's back. The overwhelming aura of menace that he'd been projecting
up to now seemed to have suddenly been dwarfed by the blazing sun of imminent death and destruction
that he knew instinctively was now standing right behind him.

The young man slowly and deliberately put his hands out away from his body
where they could be seen easily and did his best to look harmless.

He failed miserably.

"Ah, isn't that the girl they're looking for in America?!"

Kyoko Tokiwa peered down at the picture on the first page from behind Kaname's shoulder.

"Do you know something about her, Sagara?"

Sousuke's face twitched a little. So much for operational security. But still mindful of
the fists of death waiting for him if he tried anything to resolve the situation in
a sensible efficient manner, the soldier of a hundred battlefields decided that it
was better to provide a little information rather then be forced by Chidori to divulge
everything.

"She is a professional mercenary and assassin known throughout the criminal underground
as the world's best professional sniper. In Afghanistan, she was called SHEVAC."

"Shivac? Don't you mean Shiva, after the Hindu god of destruction?"

Kaname's wrathful expression had tranformed into puzzlement.

"No, SHEVAC. It was coined by a Russian Captain who said, "Oh SHit it's her, EVAC-"...."

"And what was the rest of it?"

"I do not know. He was shot by a sniper at that point."

There was a brief silence.

Then the school PA system chimed.

"Student Sousuke Sagara, please report to the Student Council Room Immediately."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-Now

The spectators sat in two groups near the entrance to the dojo. Soun and Kasumi had been
joined by Happosai, though only the former were cheering their family member on while the
old master continued to sob that it wasn't fair that he'd never be able to get a nice warm
freshly used pair of her undergarments ever again. But even disconsolate as he was, the wrinkled
little pervert still managed to dodge the brick thrown at him by Akane.

On the other end Ranma sat looking glum and surrounded by females. Tsuruko and Yoruichi had claimed
the choice spots on either side and were leaning relaxedly into him. His mother sat next to his first
wife, incidently keeping Soifon out of stabbing range on the other side. This left the unhappy girl
only with angry glares to use on the foul ravenous beast of perverted lust that was so horribly close
to her beloved mistress.

And Nabiki was doing what she did best.

"What's the matter, Ranma? You're not scared of a friendly little wager, are you?"

Nabiki Tendo prided herself on her ability to read other people. She considered it
second only to her talent for manipulating them into doing what she wanted them to do.

"She's not going to last five seconds against Mana, Nabiki."

"So put your money where your mouth is, Saotome."

Poor foolish Ranma. Her younger sister might be not up to the standards of the other fighters in Nerima,
but the boy was underestimating the sheer pigheaded stubbornness that would make Akane keep going long enough
to make Nabiki much happier and wealthier.

"Fine."

Nabiki smiled like a cat that had just got into the cream.

But when he named the actual amount, something like an old style record pick seemed
to screech inside her head. She hadn't even known he could count that high!

For the first time, Nabiki's trademark smirk faltered into uncertainty.

"A-are you sure about that, Ranma?"

"What's a matter, Nabiki? Don't feel up to it? That's fine with me."

It was a bluff. It had to be a bluff. He was just trying to avoid looking like a coward again.

"You're not weaseling out of this one, Saotome. You're on."

He shrugged.

"Fine, it's your funeral. And hers too, of course."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-Then

The young man snapped to military perfect attention.

"Student Sousuke Sagara reporting, Council President Hayashimizu."

Behind him, Kaname sighed and rested a hand over her eyes for a moment.

At least he'd managed to stop saluting all of the time. That was progress, wasn't it?

"At ease."

Atsunobu Hayashimizu nodded as the ever present tenseness in the young man's stance eased ever
so slightly into Sagara's version of relaxed alertness. The silver haired student council member
smiled warmly at who he considered to be the most interesting person at Jindai High.
It was so nice to be able to observe such a creative problem-solver in action.

"Would you like a cup of tea?"

Ren Mikihara stood as always by the student president's side, her calm face smiling pleasantly at both Sousuke and Kaname.

"No, Ma'am. Thank you, Ma'am."

A trick of the light seemed to turn Atsunobu's glasses into one way mirrors that hid the handsome boy's eyes
in a most ominious fashion. His experience with the military mindset of Sousuke Sagara had led him to a most
fascinating discovery. When the action prone transfer student began addressing his friends as superior officers,
it meant the young man was under a considerable amount of stress and more often then not also hiding something.

"Do you know why you were summoned here, Sousuke?"

"No, President Hayashimizu."

Truly a model soldier. Right down to simple answers that told absolutely nothing to those in charge.

Ren picked up a remote and turned on the TV mounted on the upper wall corner of the Council Room.

Chidori looked up as the screen flashed on and resolved itself into a coherent picture.

It was an image of what might have once been a school. Currently it was on fire.
The words "Furinkan High School" flashed along the bottom of the picture in big glowing white letters.

"Would you care to tell us if you know anything about this, Sagara?"

Kaname looked at the burning school. Then she looked at Sousuke. Then the school. Then back at Sousuke.

The blue haired girl's eyes began to develop a dangerous twitch.

"No, President Hayashimizu."

Ever so slowly, a large white harisen began to edge out from behind Kaname's skirt.

"Ah. I see. You have not by any chance gone down to the Furinkan district recently, have you?"

Sousuke suddenly found the far wall right over Hayashimizu's head quite interesting. He stared at
it with complete concentration.

"I couldn't say, President Hayashimizu."

"No, I suppose you couldn't."

Ever so quietly, the arm began to pull back.

"Of course, it is true that there was an interschool Kendo tournament scheduled for tomorrow."

Sagara said nothing. There wasn't even the slightest tic of movement from the x-shaped scar on his face.

"And naturally Furinkan was the heavy favorite for taking the championship.
Their club is said to be rather erratic in behavior, but highly skilled."

Still the young soldier remained silent.

"The leader of their Kendo club is also said to be something of a skirt-chaser
and word has it he doesn't accept "No" as a valid answer."

This time the council president caught it, just the faintest muscle jerk near the eye.

"And of course rumor has it that he was a thing for girls with a bit of 'spirit' to them,
but I'm sure you're more familiar with this then I am, Sagara."

"I really couldn't say, President Hayashimizu."

"Of course not. Still it does seem rather odd. I personally would have thought you knew better, Sousuke."

"Indeed, President Hayashimizu. I wouldn't have left any buildings standing."

The silver haired council member perked up a bit at that.

"That is true. We would expect nothing less then complete destruction
of enemy resources from someone with your capabilities."

Chidori froze, suddenly torn between two targets.

"Yes, President Hayashimizu. Shall I take this strategic opportunity to finish them off while they are weak and vulnerable?"

But in the end it was no contest at all, really.

"SOUSUKE, YOU IDIOT!!!"

*THWACK*THWACK*THWACK*

-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-Now

In her combat gi, Akane looked across the dojo at her opponent and saw everything she despised
in the other girls who constantly orbited her playboy fiance. Beautiful, big boobs and the kind
of feminine sway to her movements that always made Akane herself feel like a lumpy stick in comparison.

But at least Akane was pure Japanese, which she knew made her better then any half-blood mongrel.
The youngest Tendo had never been outside of Japan and had no real interest in changing that situation.
She might appreciate imported luxuries, but other places were not Japan. For that matter, the areas
down south where they talked funny and looked slightly different were also not really part of Japan either
no matter what the school books might say.

Foreigners only brought problems. They did not fit in. Their breasts were too big.

They made Akane feel insecure.

And the only way she knew how to deal with that feeling was to make someone else feel even worse.

"Well? Are you ready yet? I don't have all day, you know!"

Ranma groaned softly. He was definitely going to need a mop. And a bucket.

Without a word, Mana slipped her dual strapped thigh holsters off and tossed them casually to her husband.
He caught the still warm black leather and nylon in one hand and looked briefly at the evil gleaming metal
of the strapped pistols before turning away with a small shudder.

Akane smiled at the sight of her opponent being forced to disarm.

More firearms started clattering to the floor. A matching set of SIG-Sauer P228s, Walter PPKs,
an FN P90 "Bullpup" and at least seven different types of hold out derringers were now on the ground.

Blue lines started to form over the youngest Tendo's head as her expression
looked less like a smile and more like a grimace.

A Heckler & Koch PSG1 rifle joined the growing stack. It was followed by a PGM Hecate II heavy sniper rifle,
several Claymore mines, a pump-action combat shotgun, a MG42 machinegun and an M-16 with an M203 grenade launcher
attached.

At this point Akane's face had turned completely blue and her mouth was making motions like a fish out of water.

A LAW tube clanked as it rolled slightly on the wooden floor. The two RPG-7s and what looked
like a Stinger Missile with the launcher seemed almost redundant by now.

The elephant gun though, was the final straw.

"WHERE WERE YOU HIDING ALL OF THAT?!!"

Mana only smiled at her.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Genma had a bad feeling about this.

He had been elected the referee for this match on the basis of that age old precedent known as
'Do it or we'll kick your ass'. The older martial artist reflected that it might not be such a good idea
to be anywhere near his son's third wife in a combat situation while in a body that could bleed so much.

Unfortunately for him, Yoruichi had already taken back the panda doll.

He held his open hand up in the air to start the match.

Silence descended on the Dojo as the spectators focused on the two combatants.

Akane went into a basic kenpo stance, one foot forward with her arms up in position to punch or block.
Her body was turned slightly to the side in order to offer less of her body's profile as a target.

It was the textbook approach when you didn't know what style your opponent used. Ranma had to give Akane
credit for at least that much. She was taking Mana more seriously then he had on their first meeting.
It was just that he also knew in this case that her efforts were completely useless.

Mana just stood there with her legs slightly apart, arms hanging down at her size easily as she faced her opponent
squarely. It was a dual gunner's stance intended to allow both hands to shoot with the widest range of fire.
The light camouflage burka was thrown back like a long cloak over her skintight black combat outfit.

Ranma watched her closed hands closely. If he blinked he would miss it.

A bead of sweat formed on Akane's brow as she contemplated her first move. A kick first, then a punch
just to test the other girl's defenses. That seemed like the best option, no sense in taking chances
before starting the real pounding. If the half-breed proved to be faster then she expected then she would
simply have to wear the other girl down through sheer exhaustion.

"Sta-

A thin whistling sound cut through the air like a bullet.

-rt!"

Akane had just started to wonder what that noise was when something hard
smashed into her forehead and everything went blank.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

*POW*

Nabiki gaped as her younger sister went flying backwards right as Genma's hand came down to start the match.

'What the hell?!'

Akane's body hit the floor with an audible 'Thud'. She did not get back up. She didn't move at all.

"And that's that."

Nabiki swiveled her head to stare at Ranma's completely unsurprised expression.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that Mana is a master of Rakansen?"

Something small, round and metallic rolled around on the floor in front of Akane's fallen form.

Ranma raised an eyebrow.

"Only 5 yen?"

"She wasn't worth any more."

*THUMP*

For the first time in her life, Nabiki Tendo fainted.

"And now for my reward," purred Mana.

Ranma almost envied Nabiki at that moment.

But the Huntress had him locked up in her unescapable sight. Like a baby rabbit hyponotized by a hungry rattlesnake,
he just couldn't turn away from his approaching doom. As if in a trance he got to his feet, his eyes never leaving
hers as she approached with a confident stride.

She licked her lips. There was something very mesmerizing about the way she did it.

Ranma still couldn't believe that the little grubby loli assassin of his nightmares had turned out the way she had.

His heart seemed to be beating the Imperial March as she stepped forward and leaned towards him.

Then she hesitated, her beautiful faces only inches away from his own.

Ranma wondered why. Then he looked into her eyes and realization dawned on him.

She was uncertain about what to do next. While her whole body projected nothing but absolute confidence,
the truth was there in the depths of those gold mirrors to her soul. Something tight in Ranma's chest that he
hadn't even known was there eased as he realized that his third wife still didn't know how to kiss properly.

Her first kiss at their wedding had been an unmitigated disaster of course. They'd bumped noses hard enough
to make his eyes water because she hadn't tilted her head, then as she scrambled up while trying to hold a pistol
to keep him still they'd bumped chins and to put the crowning touch to the whole embarrassing spectacle when
their mouths had finally met she'd lost her balance and wound up biting his lip so hard that she'd drawn blood.

The mujahideen in attendence had thought it was absolutely hilarious.

But that was then and this was now. So he might as well be hanged for a sheep as for a lamb.

Mana froze and her eyes widened slightly in surprise as Ranma moved forward and tilted his head.

And then he kissed her.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Kasumi stared, her mouth slightly open.

Ranma could not be kissing a strange girl of his own volition.
It just wasn't possible. It was against the laws of nature.
And there most definitely shouldn't be any tongues involved!

It was outrageous! Didn't the two of them have any shame whatsoever?!
Just how long were they going to go on like that anyway? Didn't either
one of them need to breathe? Oh, she had not just grabbed onto
Ranma's butt...she did! That-that disreputable not-nice person!

Akane was right after all. That boy really was a pervert.

There was only one solution for that.

She just had to figure out where Mother had stored that bullwhip.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Slowly, almost reluctantly, their lips parted.

When the two of them finally released each other, both Ranma and Mana were breathing rather unsteadily
and their hearts seemed to be pounding almost audibly. It was definitely a major improvement over their
first kiss together.

"Uh..."

Mana nodded.

"For me as well."

Ranma blushed.

"Oh."

Tsuruko clapped her hands politely together to break the awkward silence.

"We really should go now if we're going to get ready in time for dinner."

She got to her feet and bowed politely to the still wailing Soun and the distracted looking Kasumi.

"Thank you for your hospitality."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Ranma stared at the pavement as he and Genma walked together down the street.

His wives had made off with his mother in their midst, though not before she had cornered Ranma
long enough to clasp her hands on his shoulders with a grip like iron and told him,
"Remember, DON'T FORGET THE CONDOMS!!"

As if he didn't have enough to worry about already.

"The Heart of Jade. All I asked for was a nice place to take them out to eat.
And you had to pick the goddamn Heart of Jade. What the fuck were you thinking?!"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"ALL of your ideas seem like a good one at the time! That doesn't mean they are. Shit,
you know that their policy is if you have to ask about the price then you obviously
can't afford to eat there."

"Not to worry, I have a very cunning plan to deal with it."

"Does it involve turnips?"

"Um....maybe."

Ranma stopped and locked his stare onto his father's face.

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"It's a very fine turnip-"

"No. I like my balls perfectly fine right where they are now."

"Then what do we do?"

"First, we find a place to rent some tuxedos. You did remember to clean out Nabiki's stash, right?"

"Of course I did! What do you take me for, an idiot?"

"You really want me to answer that, Pops?"

Genma scowled at his son but decided that avoiding certain death from the women
had higher priority then teaching his son a lesson in manners.

"Then what?"

"Flowers, can't go wrong with flowers. You'd better get a bunch for Mom too."

"And then?"

"We take them out to dinner. We'll put it on Nabiki's tab or something."

"And after that?"

"I'm still working on it."

"Oh good. At least after all that's happened nothing else can go wrong."

Ranma stopped dead in his tracks and slapped a hand over his face.

"Why did you have to fucking say that?!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The manager of the Heart of Jade looked over the assembled employees with a critical eye.

Tonight was a very important night.

The American President and his Secretary of State were going to dine here tonight.

Nothing could be allowed to go wrong, everything had to be perfect.

They could not afford to lose any face here with the media right outside.

"Got that? There will be absolutely nothing less then our finest performance!"

"Yes, Manager!!"

The assembled ranks barked off with the familiarity of long practice.

The man looked a little doubtfully at the two new girls. Although their work so far
had been nothing short of excellent, they were still Chinese. That by definition
made them inferior to honest Japanese workers. Still, he was shorthanded of skilled
and more importantly, experienced staff in the kind of live food preparation that
the Heart of Jade was justly famous for.

"You two!"

The pair of them turned silently to face him more directly.

"If even one thing goes wrong at the main dinner tonight, you'll both be fired. Understood?"

"We understand," said Xia Yu Fan in a quiet emotionless voice.

-End of Chapter 7

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

-OMAKE-OMAKE-OMAKE-OMAKE-

"The Heart of Jade. All I asked for was a nice place to take them out to eat.
And you had to pick the goddamn Heart of Jade. What the fuck were you thinking?!"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"ALL of your ideas seem like a good one at the time! That doesn't mean they are. Shit,
you know that their policy is if you have to ask about the price then you obviously
can't afford to eat there. We'd have to do something crazy like sell the Tendos as
dancing girls to the Triads in order to pay for dinner."

There was a significant pause.

"Which of course would be absolutely wrong and we would never ever think of doing so."

"Right, right. Besides, Soun is a terrible dancer anyway."



-Omake by Nanya

"ALL of your ideas seem like a good one at the time! That doesn't mean they are.
Shit, you know that their policy is if you have to ask about the price then you
obviously can't afford to eat there."

"Not to worry, I have a very cunning plan to deal with it."

"Does it involve turnips?"

"Um....maybe."

Ranma stopped and locked his stare onto his father's face.

"Do you remember what happened LAST time you used turnips?!"

"How was I supposed to know that would happen?"

"What are you two talking about?" Nodoka asked, blinking.

The two shuddered and turned to her, completely pale. "You don't want to know."

"But..."

"No! Just trust us..." Genma said, fighting off a shiver.

He wouldn't normally act like this, but remembering that dammed dodo that shot eggs
and those short weird things with masks that shot bullets from their mouths left him
with a bad taste in his mouth.

Not to mention his ass. Those eggs HURT going in there!



-Omake by Croaker

Mana just stood there with her legs slightly apart, arms hanging down at her size easily as she faced her opponent
squarely. It was a dual gunner's stance intended to allow both hands to shoot with the widest range of fire.
The light camouflage burka was thrown back like a long cloak over her skintight black combat outfit.

Ranma averted his eyes, trying to hide from the inevitable.

A bead of sweat formed on Akane's brow as she contemplated her first move. A kick first, then a punch
just to test the other girl's defenses. That seemed like the best option, no sense in taking chances
before starting the real pounding. If the half-breed proved to be faster then she expected then she would
simply have to wear the other girl down through sheer exhaustion.

"Sta-

There was a crack like thunder, a deep meat-pounding thud, and the shattering of wood.

-rt!"

The dojo sat frozen in time, utterly silent except for the distant scream of someone making their way
across Nerima by air.

Ranma looked back up.

Mana stood perfectly still, left foot flat, right balancing on the tip of her toes. Her right hand pointed out the
new hole in the roof of the dojo, her left extended behind her at the final stretch of her swing. And there,
in her hand--

"Saotome," Nabiki said with shellshocked calm. "Did your... wife just bat my sister through the roof with a fifteen
inch black rubber cock?"



-Omake by Threadweaver

Nabiki was nervously waiting in the lobby of Tofu's clinic for the word on her sister.
The five yen piece had lodged sideways in her head like a spear point and had made a frightful mess.

Tofu walked calmly into the lobby and smiled at her.

A good sign, she surmised astutely.

"She'll be fine. It was like most facial wounds-- it looked a lot worse than it was. She'll only have a small scar from it."

"Oh, thank the gods!"

"Who did you say did this to her? I must say I'm perplexed. I don't know of many martial artists that do Rakansen."

"Some woman after Ranma named Mana Tatsumiya."

Tofu's jaw became slack and his glasses gleamed dangerously. "I see."

"Do you know her?"

Tofu failed to stifle a large shudder. "Only by her reputation and what's
left over after she's been around. I'm surprised she went so easy on poor Akane."

Nabiki was having that feeling of dread creep in again. It had been seeping in since this whole thing started.

Tofu noticed her pallor and decided to cheer her up. "Akane will be fine though,
as long as she doesn't pick any more fights with Mana. Go ahead and go home,
she'll be ready to go home in the morning."

"Ahhh... Okay." She started to slowly walk towards the door but was stopped by Tofu's arm.

"Oh, by the way, this is for you," he said as he dropped some metal pieces in her hand.

"Four Yen coins? Why...?" she asked, perplexed.

"It's Mana's change. I couldn't get the whole thing out. She'll probably ask for it."


-Omake by Lord Raa

Mana froze and her eyes widened slightly in surprise as Ranma moved forward and tilted his head.

And then he kissed her.

Tsuruko leaned forward, intent on observing Ranma's technique. "He's not bad."

Yoruichi also appraised the public display of affection. "True, it's one of the things I like about Ranma - if you
challenge his manliness, he'll bust a gut to prove you wrong. But she's far too passive - I mean, how do you expect
to keep someone as desirable as Ranma with such timid kisses?"

"You obviously can't see the way her hand is groping his ass," Tsuruko said. After a moment,
she suddenly felt pangs of jealousy. "Wait, why are we critiquing the way Ranma is kissing another girl?!"

"I don't know about you," Yoruichi said, turning to give the kendoist a saucy wink, "but I like to watch."

"..." the woman in the gi and hakama considered her rival/co-wife's words. "Now that you mention it,
there is something arousing about watching Ranma while he fools around with a girl."