Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Random Kuno ❯ My Pig ( One-Shot )

Dis-lamer

I own nothing, blah blah blah, Rumiko Takahashi and copyright holders, yada yada yada, no infringement intended, ubuti ubuti ubuti, independent piece of fanfiction.

Author's Notes:

This series of Random Kuno is a tribute to the one and only Tatewaki Kuno whom we all have a profound lack of respect for. I'll be writing short stories that depict our friend in more or less humorous circumstances. This one features a very dismayed P-chan… On with the Random Kuno show!

Random Kuno - My Pig

Ranma was furious. His morning had been the familiar series of bad stuff concentrating on him as it usually did.

First he had had to stop sleeping. That was bad. He had been in the middle of one of his favourite dreams of beating Ryouga and laughing at the poor boy. His alarm clock had gone off at a bad time - while he was asleep - and had suffered the consequences. Ranma would need a new alarm clock.

Then his usual morning training. He had been too annoyed to concentrate, and ended up in the koi pond. The curse was still every bit as annoying as it had been when he recieved it. A pot of boiling water poured over her head did not calm him down, either.

Then breakfast. Kasumi was off on a trip, and nobody had remembered to think of breakfast, until it was too late. Nobody except for Akane, and when she had used up most of their ingredients to cook breakfast, that none of them could eat - the food escaped under its own power - Ranma was left very hungry and even more annoyed.

Then Ranma had grumbled about Akane's poor cooking, resulting in yet another session of malleting.

For Ranma, this was not unusual. But after getting splashed with cold water on the way to school for the fifth time, she was extremely annoyed, to say the least. She remained quiet for the entire walk to the school.

Deviating from his standard procedure, Kuno had taken up a waiting position outside the school gates. He spotted Ranma-chan and Akane from a distance, and loudly announced: "Ah, there come my lovely ladies, the gentle and charming Akane, and the energetic pig-tai-" He was abruptly cut short by Ranma-chan hitting him upside the head. This was not like the countless other times that had happened. This time Ranma was nearly bursting with ki gathered from her built-up anger.

Kuno sank waist-deep into the pavement. Ranma-chan and Akane walked past him in silence, preparing for the masses waiting for them inside the gates.

Kuno, meanwhile, was fighting off a severe concussion of the brain. The needle of his mind had slipped off the track on the disc of his prepared speeches, and he was absent-mindedly repeating one word. "Pig-pig-pig-hey, there's a pig!"

Kuno snapped out of his trance as a tiny black pig with a yellow and black bandanna walked past, looking hopelessly lost. He tried to remember why he was repeating the word pig. Suddenly it all came back to him.

"Oh, sweet pig, I, Tatewaki Kuno, also known as the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, have been blinded by your radiant beauty! Long have I awaited for you, my true love, but now my days of waiting are over! I shall embrace thee and carry thee to my humble abode."

Kuno scooped up the dumbfounded pig and nuzzled his face against it. He held it tightly in his arms as he walked away from the school, mumbling sweet nonsense into the swine's ear.

The pig frantically, but unsuccessfully, attempted to escape the embrace. Its voice faded away as it was carried away.

"Squeeeeeee…"