Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Reluctant Bet (2nd Labor) ❯ Reluctant Finale ( Chapter 30 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Reluctant Bet segment 30 "Reluctant Finale"

Disclaimer: many things by many people, stirred together with the attempt to bring something new out of the mix.

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Celeste brought the primary displays up with Belle's help. "90% chance of a smooth fusion with the Pheonix Mage's home timeline, giving THAT extra stability."

"What of those last three backups you've done?" Hades humorlessly looked over the displays. He didn't particularly care one way or the other, and had only drawn this duty because Ares was currently a plush toy. "There are people that don't have an analogue in that timeline, after all. Not to mention having a spare copy of that punk."

"Bringing up a simulation of the first one," Belle said with a cute smile.

********

Label: A Very Different Art
Stabilization Point: Backtracked to April 4, 1982
Simulation Point: March 22, 1992 Tendo Dojo

"Ranma was separated from Genma for a number of years, but Genma finally tracked him down in the city of Miyazaki near Nagasaki."

"So he's a 'country boy'?" Nabiki lost a bit of interest, but maybe he had some redeeming qualities. "Is he cute?"

"How old is he? Younger men bore me." Kasumi fretted briefly. "What kind of guy is this 'Ranma'?"

"I have no idea, I've never met him," said Soun.

The roar of an engine announced some vehicle approaching. Windows rattled. Kasumi looked down at her cup of tea and noticed the circular ripples as the noise got louder. Finally the noise cut off, but it sounded like it had ended in their front yard!

"Ah, kamisama! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!"

"That's Genma's voice!" Soun ran to the front door, throwing it open to see his old friend Genma kissing the ground. "GENMA!"

"Soun! I survived! The nightmare is over!"

"Geez, Mister Saotome, it ain't like I could go that fast or reckless with a SIDECAR!" The boy in the leather jacket got his helmet off, revealing a fairly handsome boy with a scar on one cheek that seemed to give him further character as opposed to detracting from his appearance.

"So... YOU'RE Ranma?" Nabiki looked over the boy with a proprietary gleam and decided he WAS cute. Worn black jeans, blue denim shirt, leather vest, a small hammer hanging from a chain around his neck, a few pouches and tools hanging from his belt, thick biker's boots. Tall, and with what looked like serious strength in his arms and shoulders.

"Yah," the boy said, holding up one hand. "I'm Ranma Mo... Saotome. Dang, gonna take me awhile to get used to that. Pleased ta meetcha."

Kasumi was mollified slightly. The boy was at least polite if a bit crude in his speech.

Nabiki stared at the American motorcycle briefly, noting that the sidecar was British, and that the backpack fastened to the backrest had stickers in Chinese and some other language she couldn't place. Well travelled.

Akane frowned. How dare some boy come bringing some smelly, noisy, motorcycle into HER home! Feh, and it probably leaked oil.

---------------

Shampoo propped her head on her hands and studied her treasure, finally shaking her head at the silliness of it and getting up from the table.

He wasn't even a warrior. Just some boy who showed up in the village one day, watched her fighting, and left briefly and when he came back...

Shampoo found herself staring at the sculpture again. About the size of her head, a simple unpainted clay sculpture. Nothing but clay from one of the nearby riverbanks hardened by flame into fragile pink stone. Not worth anything much at all. Of course, she had graciously accepted the gift even if it was of little value and from some worthless Outsider male.

No, it wasn't of any value at all.

Shampoo found herself smiling as she considered it.

The statue was of her, standing on one leg in a modified crane stance. The statue's hands both clenched a bonbori and extended behind her like wings. The statue's head was thrown back.

Shampoo found herself admiring the statue again and tried to figure out what it was about the figurine. The whole pose was of someone confident and triumphant, obviously posing in victory. Something in the way the girl was posed suggested that she was strong and fierce and thoroughly feminine. Something in the face suggested mischief and pride.

Shampoo stood up. No, she was a warrior, a Champion, everyone thought she would be Cologne's Heir. She had no time to sit and admire some wandering artist's work. Shampoo sat down in front of her mirror, brushing her hair out, still puzzling over her reaction to the thing. She thought she might have a handle on why she liked the silly thing so much...

"SHAMPOO! I'm back, Shampoo! Your loving husband! The future father of your children!" CRASH!

Shampoo blinked and put the brush down. Mousse acting like an idiot, normal. Mousse entering her quarters even after repeatedly being threatened with personal extinction, normal. The sound of something shattering... less normal. There wasn't much that Shampoo kept that was breakable.

"Shampoo..." CRUNCH! "Oh, there you are!"

Shampoo rose and slowly turned. There was Mousse, talking to a dress she had hanging from a peg. There was Mousse, standing in a pile of little pink clay chips. One of which was clearly a hand clutching a bonbori.

"M-m-my gift..." Shampoo wondered what that roaring noise was, before realizing it was the sound of blood rushing past her ears.

Mousse oriented on her voice and turned to rush and glomp the object of his affections. CRUNCH! "SHAMPOO! Oh, I missed you so much!"

Shampoo blinked as she saw that mischievous face get powdered under Mousse's slippers. Only the one hand and bonbori seemed to have survived.

Mousse was pawing her, saying something, but Shampoo couldn't quite make it out.

There had been many times Shampoo had been angry at Mousse. Mistaking her for livestock, chasing off people she was trying to be friends with, getting her chased out of her Healer apprenticeship as his long robes kept sweeping off the shelves as he proclaimed his love the billionth time, interrupting classes dealing with Amazon Lore so he could declare that he would marry Shampoo, attacking a shy and gentle Healer who had once tried to make friends with the Warrior. Yes, there were many times that Shampoo had gotten angry at Mousse, someone who had been a friend while they were very young but had turned into a nuisance.

THIS went beyond angry. She stood there, not entirely sure what to do. Simply stomping him was not sufficient.

Mousse, noting that Shampoo was not pushing him away, was encouraged. He gestured towards the doorway and took her hand, then stepped forward. CRUNCH.

Shampoo twitched as the little bonbori joined the rest of the little shards and powder. "You did that on purpose!"

Mousse blinked. It wasn't the reaction he was expecting. She wasn't yelling, but she wasn't agreeing with his suggestion of an elopement either.

"You did that on purpose!" Shampoo repeated. NOBODY could be this blind.

"Uhm, Shampoo, darling, you're crushing my hand."

"Mousse. Go away. Now. Or I will be forced to clean your blood out of my floor."

"But, Shampoo, I..." A thin wooden staff tapped his back and Mousse collapsed.

"Elder Lilac?" Shampoo contained her anger as best she could. The old Elder of Healers was not someone you got angry with easily.

"Child, have I ever told you about my Douglas?" The Elder leaned against a wall and regarded the pink powder on the floor. Nothing for it now but to get a dustpan.

"EVERYBODY knows about Lilac's Douglas." Shampoo said, still calming herself. "He was a plumber who defeated you many years ago. Our Amazon village gained indoor plumbing and a water filtration system from that, not to mention the septic tanks, until you finally went your different ways when it was apparent that you couldn't have children."

"Some things are beyond even Amazon lore." Lilac nodded, she had pleasant memories of Douglas. At least one plumber had been VERY good with his hands. "So, I take it that you're rather upset with Mousse at present. You look as if you'd have to calm down to simply be angry, or were you aware of the battle-aura you're putting out? Or that you were clenching your teeth hard enough that you've drawn blood?"

"That... that..." Shampoo again tried to calm herself.

"Here child," Lilac moved around Shampoo touching a set of pressure points as she went. "The Clear Thinking shiatsu technique. One of my favorites. Now tell me, why does this upset you so much more than any of Mousse's other fumble-fingered attempts to woo you?"

"Because..." Shampoo's voice trailed off as the answer clicked into place. "Because some Outsider I've never met before saw me more clearly than Mousse ever had. The statue didn't just look physically like me, in some way it *captured* me..."

Lilac nodded. "A very good likeness and it was a fine memento of your victory, longer lasting than that feast too. Though not nearly to the extent that one would hope. Obviously that Outsider is a skilled artist and capable of looking fairly deep or he at least captured your essence in that piece. So tell me, Shampoo, if an Outsider Male manages to capture an unmarried maiden?"

"But he's not a warrior!" Shampoo saw what the Elder was implying. "Grandmother said that..."

"So? When a nineteen year old had just lost his father in a plane crash and stumbled into our village back in 1912, he was a plumber who had studied his trade from birth and knew little of fighting. Cologne disliked him, never did approve of me losing like that, but my Douglas was a treasure to me for many years and benefitted the Village enormously. What do you think, that I made a mistake there?"

"But I'm a warrior, and Hiba-chan..."

Lilac's eyes glittered. "You think Healers have less pride? I'll tell you two things, Shampoo. One is based on my experience with Douglas. DON'T try to win him on your terms or based on what you see in the Village. Win him on HIS terms."

"But my Great-Grandmother..." Shampoo shook her head. Cologne would NEVER go for that.

"And the other is that sooner or later, Mousse will challenge you, get lucky, and then expect you to be his dutiful bride..." Lilac let the sentence trail off as she saw the concept penetrate.

"Sorry, Elder Lilac, I've got to start packing!"

"Oh, and child, I heard him say he was going to Nerima in Tokyo. That's a suburb of the capitol of Japan, by the way. He was trying to arrange for us to ship him a few supplies when he got a permanent address. Plans to be an artist, an architect, AND an engineer. Ah, reminds me of my Douglas in a way..."

Shampoo nodded absently as she threw a few things into a carrisack. Nerima, Tokyo, Japan. Maybe she ought to get a phrasebook.

-----------------------

Kasumi turned the glass sculpture over in her hands, marvelling at the detail in something no bigger than her index finger. A glass rose, caught in the act of just beginning to bloom. She held it with a certain degree of wonder at such a thing, and coyly glanced at the manufacturer. Not a "boy" after all.

Nabiki had taken HER gift with a certain degree of possessiveness from the start. The glass sculpture was nice, fairly well made, but she doubted it was worth much. Just a generic little piece, a glass swan. Unlike the typical one, this one had been depicted in the act of taking off and even had a hint of feathers scratched into the surface. Considering that it was about the length of her thumb, that wasn't bad, but everyone KNEW how poor artists tended to be.

Akane had refused to take the little glass butterfly. She wanted nothing to do with a *boy* after all, and accepting his gift might have been construed as accepting something of this arranged marriage. Instead she eyed it from where it sat, untended and neglected, on the table.

"So, son, which one will you marry?"

Ranma paused. "Marry? But I don't know anything about them!"

"This is Kasumi, she's 19. This is Nabiki, she's 17. This is Akane, she's 16. Pick the one you want, she'll be your new fiancee!"

"Are you DEAF?! Besides, I'm going to go to Nekomi Technical Institute. I don't have the MONEY for this!"

Soun blinked. "NIT? But son, you're in High School now. Then you can run the dojo! Why go to some college? Just go ahead and marry one of my girls and that will take care of your future. We've planned it all out!"

"WHAT?!"

"NIT?" Nabiki became a bit more interested. Martial artists generally didn't make much money, artists were usually poor, people with Mechanical Engineering degrees on the other hand... And Nekomi had a high placement rate. Not as high as *some* universities, but respectable.

Akane just huffed, continuing to stare out of the corner of her eye at the butterfly. The pattern of thin colored glass in the wings seemed to slide across her eyes. No, she would NOT indicate that she liked it. It was just a stupid perverted boy, after all, and if she encouraged him he might get weird ideas. No, scratch that, he WOULD get weird ideas.

"BOY!" Genma slapped his son in the side of his head. "You WILL marry one of these girls and carry on the Anything Goes school!"

WHAM!

Kasumi apologized for her impertinence as she removed the frypan from Genma's head, wondering how THAT got there. She returned her gaze to the rose. It had been YEARS since a boy had given her a gift, and she couldn't ever remember being given flowers.

Several Tendos were staring at Kasumi. For Kasumi to pull a blunt object out and casually lay a trained martial artist like Genma out cold was a shock. That Kasumi was studying the glass rose and BLUSHING slightly?!

Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "Kasumi, isn't Ranma too young for you? He's only sixteen, after all."

"Hmmm? What, Nabiki? Did you say something?" Kasumi glanced up, still a bit distracted.

Nabiki didn't facefault, but it was a close thing.

Akane fumed. So that was it. This *boy* was attempting to seduce her innocent older sister! And succeeding! He was just *acting* like he wasn't interested! "YOU PERVERT!"

"Huh?" This was said by more than one member of the audience, not having read Akane's thought balloons.

Soun leapt to the wrong conclusion, naturally, which was that Akane and Kasumi were BOTH interested in Ranma. This led to another round of joyous weeping.

"So, Ranma, you want to be an Engineer?" Nabiki decided to ignore the things she couldn't understand for now and concentrate on getting information. She'd make sense of it later.

"Yes, actually, I want to learn Architecture and keep up my artistic studies as well." Ranma smiled at someone who actually seemed to be interested in his plans. "With the expansion of Japan's cities, it seems that we need to look at alternatives to traditional urban sprawl. Underwater or underground dwellings seem to be a logical way to go."

Nabiki smirked. It was doubtful that it would ever happen, but someone who was a bit of an artist combined with architect combined with engineer? Obviously the boy would need a good financial planner! And Nabiki knew JUST the individual to be the ideal candidate.

Soun blinked as he noticed the air of predatory interest. Nabiki's expression was quite familiar, she'd gone through a phase where she had been running around yelling "mine" and laying claim to anything she could. (She had gotten subtler about it but still tended to do this.) That was the SAME expression on Nabiki's face now. Soun carefully followed the gaze from Nabiki to Ranma and then back.

Soun erupted in joyous tears, to even a greater extent than before. ALL THREE OF HIS DAUGHTERS! Well, in THAT case, he didn't want to go too fast. No point in pushing if it would break the hearts of the other two! He was so proud of his daughters accepting this burden! So happy with the prospect of the marriage!

Genma, still laid out in dreamland, didn't protest.

----------------

"So, Ranma-kun, this is *your* motorcycle? It looks... very nice." Kasumi wasn't quite sure what to say about it.

Ranma proudly gestured, immensely pleased at Kasumi's interest. "Yes, it's a 1980 Harley Davidson Shovelhead WideGlide. It was pretty much scrap when I found it, and I had to restore it using non-stock parts, but it was worth it. It was cheap because it was at an estate sale, and I couldn't get everything, and I didn't have a lot of money. The sidecar was off a scrapped 1971 BMW. There's some nonstandard parts so, well, it's a bit of a Mongrel but it works pretty well."

"I see," said Kasumi, not having a clue what Ranma was talking about but being polite. She noted he seemed to be a nice boy and very enthusiastic about some things.

"I replaced the chain with a belt. The heads are bored out. Which, of course, means bigger pistons but a loss of compression. It's now at 9.4:1, which is sufficient, don't you think?"

Looking over the massive machine, Kasumi went for what she hoped was a sufficiently noncommital answer. "It looks sufficient, I suppose."

"Would you like to take it for a drive..." Ranma offered shyly.

"Oh, I don't think... Well maybe, just a short trip." Kasumi considered getting a few groceries. That wouldn't be too much trouble, would it?

Nabiki popped up from behind a bush. "Why thank you, Ranma-kun, I'd *love* to have a ride on your motorcycle!"

Akane popped up from where she'd been sneaking up. "You are NOT putting my sisters in danger by taking them on trips on that dangerous machine! I've got to go along to keep an eye on you!"

Ranma blinked. "But... I've only got two helmets..."

Genma stuck his head out a window. He was all for Ranma trying to get along with a potential fiancee, but subjecting them to the terror of that Machine From Hell was not likely to endear Ranma to the girls. "Ranma! Time to train!"

Soun stuck his head out of another window. "Ah, my poor little girls are getting to know their fiance! You make me so proud!"

**********

"Prediction programs have a 90% chance of the insistence of the two father's regarding Ranma dropping the engineering background in favor of martial arts, plus Genma's finding his way into his son's savings, pretty much have him completely rejecting his true father and the arrangement. He ends up leaving to go to NIT, but the problems follow him." Celeste looked over the simulation. "Predictions break down into less certain patterns after he ends up at Nekomi trying to work and go to school."

Belle nodded and pulled a pie chart up on one monitor. "60% chance of ending up with Kasumi or Nabiki. 25% chance of Shampoo following Lilac's advice and being supportive enough to gain points with Ranma when he ends up having to rely on someone else. 15% chance that Ukyo tracks him down, resolves her differences eventually, and the two end up getting together."

Hades frowned, but this was pretty much his normal expression anyway. "Too close to that Amethyst timeline you're so fond of, Celeste. Try the next."

Celeste snapped her fingers. "Oh. Well, how about..."

Belle brought up the second simulation.

***********

Stabilization Point: June 19, 1986
Location: Yamashiro, Japan
Simulation point: Jusenkyo, March 1, 1990

Ranma Saotome stroked the rather large cat standing next to him and looked around at the place his father had brought him to. "Aw this doesn't look so bad."

The pink-furred cat hissed, apparently disagreeing.

"Come on, Ranma, follow me!" Genma leapt to one of the poles.

"Wait here, Nuku," Ranma gently patted the cat on her shoulder. "Hey, what's up? Why are you so upset?"

The cat hissed and yowled, trying to communicate to Ranma exactly why this place set her hackles up.

"What kind of cat that? Pink fur and too big for housecat. Hmmm. Oh what is sir doing?!"

"Stop playing with the damn cat, Ranma! Are you not a man?"

"Something's scaring the heck outta her, Pop. I ain't seen her this agitated since we stayed outside that cave over in Okayama." Ranma frowned.

"Ah, sir, what you doing up there? This place very dangerous, nobody use any more!"

"Ranma, are you chicken? Get up here and fight!" Genma paused. "Or are you a weak little girl?"

"Oh shuddup." Ranma leapt to the top of a pole. "What're the stakes this time?"

"SIRS?!"

Nuku Nuku howled as her master got close to those pools. THIS was why cats were clearly the superior species, stupid blind know-it-all humans! Couldn't they FEEL the spirits of this place, hungering for further victims?!

Leap, kick, sweeping attack. Block, sweep, countermove.

Splash. Bubble. Panda attacks.

Ranma blinked, startled. A panda?

Dropped guard. Attack goes through defenses. Throw.

Nuku raced forward, she weighed in excess of seventy pounds, maybe she could deflect him?

Splash. Bubble. A scream.

"Oh, very sad, sir... your cat fall in Spring Of Drowned Girl. Terrible tragic story of..."

The Jusenkyo Guide's telling of the tale was interrupted by an inhuman snarl. The pinkhaired girl turned a look towards the panda that spoke of violence. Genma was momentarily unconcerned. After all, he was a trained martial artist, he could easily defend himself against some teenage girl, couldn't he?

This was dispelled by the sudden violence rained upon the panda by the transformed girl, who actually lifted the transformed Genma up over her head and threw him. Then a darkhaired martial artist boy joined in.

Ranma was quite aware that if he hadn't been knocked aside, he would have landed in a pool that had turned his cat into a girl. He wasn't sure what would have happened, but this was what he considered Genma's latest and most stupid manuever. In a long line of similar manuevers. Right now he'd react, later he'd ponder it.

Genma tried to flee but Ranma and Nuku had hunted together previously and were used to working as a team. Even when they were transformed, they found their actions fitting like a well oiled machine in operation.

Sometime when the panda had been hauled back to the Guide's hut, Ryoga fell off a cliff and hit a spring that had nothing to do with a Drowned Pig.

------***Prefectural Jusenkyo Girl Nuku Nuku***-------

Nuku tugged uncomfortably at her clothing and glanced sideways at Ranma. "Rrrrroooww?"

Ranma smiled back and said something in that human language they were always jabbering on in. Now that SHE was human, she supposed she'd have to learn it. How... inconvienent. Still, it was MUCH less easy for stupid older smells-greasy human to pull stupid stunts with HER human! Heh. And wouldn't it aggravate greasy-fat-man if she COULD talk?

Nuku decided to do it. She'd always been more clever than smaller cats. She'd just never had the equipment or a good enough reason to learn speaking like a human. NOW, however, she WAS (shudder) at least a part time human. And all fat-greasy-needs-to-bathe human's fault. HER human had learned to pay attention.

Not knowing what to make of this, the Jusenkyo Guide turned to Ranma. "Sir, what kind of cat? She not act like typical cat get transformed."

"We're not sure. Nuku Nuku was one of a bunch of cats Pop rounded up to teach me some lame technique called the Catfist. Nuku adopted me when the training... drove me a little nuts. Having her around's helped. Guy I knew said she was a variety of mountain cat native to China. She musta been just a kitten when we met."

Nuku stared at Ranma's mouth. You puckered and moved the soft bits like so and moved the tongue around like that. It seemed extremely complicated. "Rrrruuuu?"

"What is it, Nuku?"

"Ruuaaa? Raaa. Raaaraaa..."

Genma stood up, adjusting his backpack. "Whatever, Ranma. We must go. We have things to do and must go back to Japan."

"Uh huh," Ranma said. "Guide, you said that if *I* had hit the pool, I'd be turned into a girl?"

"Whenever struck with cold water, yes sir. But hot water turn you back."

"Raaaraannnn." She'd been watching his mouth. "Nuuukyuuu?"

Ranma blinked, realizing what was happening. Nothing like having the truth being used as a blunt instrument repeatedly against your head. "She's trying to talk? Nuku Nuku?"

Genma blinked too. The boy was mistaken, right?

"Nuuukkuu." Nuku Nuku frowned. This was *so* difficult and it had been a rough day. Maybe she should catch a nap before going further? "Nukkkuuu?"

"Nuku Nuku." Ranma tapped Nuku in the chest, then tapped himself in the chest. "Ranma."

Nuku smiled, understanding the human gesture if it wasn't natural to her. "Rrrrannnmaaa."

"Cat is very clever cat," said the Guide with wide eyes.

"Good girl, Nuku Nuku."

Nuku nodded. She knew it. Now her human understood...

Nuku blinked. SHE was human now, at least part time. Well, didn't THAT confuse things all to hell. Hmmm. And Ranma smelled nice, too...

------------

"...and so here we come, Sirs, to rustic village of Nichieju."

"What kinda food they got here?"

"Growlf."

"Rrrrooowww?" Nuku didn't like this, flat out REFUSED to carry a backpack, and was not thrilled with her Ranma following his father (however grudgingly). Besides, humans tended to stink after they exercised. (More evidence, if any was needed, of the innate superiority of felines.)

"Oh, we is in luck sirs, is big fighting tournament." The Guide heard the noise and turned to see three tourists tearing into a victory feast. "SIRS? What you do there?"

The newly declared champion stalked forward and began berating the tall girl with the pink hair, but desisted when the girl MEOWED at her. She turned her attention to the darkhaired boy in the hopes of at least some indication that the other understood he was being fussed at.

"So if I beat you, there's no problem, right?"

Nuku watched the fight, stalking around to view from different angles as Shampoo attacked, Ranma counterattacked, then the defeated kissed the victor. Oh goody, they were friends now.

If the crowd gasped with surprise as Shampoo gave the Kiss Of Marriage to Ranma, they went into shock as Shampoo was stopped before she had even stepped back from Ranma. Stopped by the pink haired girl grabbing Shampoo and giving THE KISS OF MARRIAGE!

Shampoo considered fainting. This was not anywhere near the script she had intended. She rallied, however, deciding to get angry. Were these stupid outsiders mocking Amazon Tradition?

Nuku Nuku wasn't ready for the attack and was stunned by a strong blow to the head.

The not-friend turned an attack towards Ranma.

Nuku understood this, sort of, in cat-terms. The new female was deciding if she would be the dominant in the association. Well, Nuku Nuku had her own thoughts about this.

Shampoo thought about it, and there was only one thing to do. "Wo ai ni!" She leapt forward again.

A hand snaking out and grabbing the back of Shampoo's collar arrested her forward momentum.

Shampoo turned to regard the pink haired girl who was moving around as if sizing the Amazon up for an attack.

Nuku revealed that that WAS the game plan when she leapt at Shampoo with a howl.

Shampoo lifted her bonbori from where they had fallen, and started forward herself.

*WHISHHHHT! Clatterclatterclatter.*

Shampoo's eyes bugged slightly, going from the neat little slices of bonbori mace to the girl's bare hands.

"/Careful Shampoo, the girl knows the dreaded Cat Fist!/"

Shampoo stepped back and threw the useless handle to the side. "/Great Grandmother? What is this Cat Fist?/"

"/A terrible technique. Mainly useless, though difficult to defeat without knowing about it beforehand. She has struck you twice now. Look at your dress./"

Shampoo did, noticing two lines cut in the silk. "/WHAT?!/"

"/If she fought in earnest, she would have drawn blood at least./" Cologne was intrigued as the girl showed all the signs of cat fist mastery. Which meant that Shampoo's opponent currently had the mind of a cat. "/If you use deadly force, she will likely respond that way./"

"/I will not surrender,/" Shampoo growled, leaping forward.

Nuku howled and struck. SHE was the head female here. She'd teach this upstart to get in line. She'd avoid making it fatal though, this other girl had less than half her speed and strength, plus no claws to speak of.

The battle quickly became a catfight instead of a martial arts duel. When the dust cleared, Shampoo was lying in the dust with Nuku Nuku crouched over her.

Cologne sighed and stepped forward. It looked like *she* would have to get involved. Though she noted that Shampoo had merely been embarassed. Especially as Shampoo was woken up by the stranger girl licking her face.

"/Well, Shampoo, this Outsider Man AND this woman defeated you. Consider your options carefully./" Cologne turned to the three Outsiders. "If you'll just wait a few moments, I'm sure my great-granddaughter can sort out this mess. If you'd like a place to stay for the night we would be honored if you'd be our guests."

Shampoo considered. An Outsider girl defeating an Amazon meant the Kiss Of Death, you had to pursue and kill. Though rarely used anymore, but Shampoo was Cologne's Heir and therefore held to a higher standard. An Outsider man defeating an Amazon meant the Kiss Of Marriage, which she had just delivered to the man, so they were married. Then the Outsider girl had given HER the Kiss Of Marriage, which meant...

Shampoo looked disgusted and VERY unenthusiasticly towards the pink haired girl. "Wo da airen," she mumbled. "Wo ai ni."

Nuku watched the purple haired girl lower her head as if staring at the ground. ~Good, she knows her place now and is baring her neck. The pack grows and I can learn human behavior from a female of approximately my age. Now, I've got another pet human or at least a packmate who smells better than greasy-fat-man. Hmmm. Her fur smells nice, actually. Have to see if Ranma can get his fur smelling that nicely.~

**********

"For some reason, Celeste, I can see your influence in THAT one too." Hades shook his head. "And what are the predictions running with this?"

"High probability that Nuku Nuku gets locked in her human form, resulting in her deciding to keep Ranma as her mate instead of a favorite human. High strength, speed, and innate knowledge of the Catfist techniques make Nuku Nuku a formidable opponent in any physical confrontation. 75% chance they end up at the Tendo Dojo. Nuku Nuku starts imprinting on the two older sisters as additional sources of 'proper human behavior' and befriends the Tendos for their brief stay. Akane gets dumped as most popular girl after Nuku Nuku shows up, though she remains popular." Celeste checked the scrolling data and smiled. It actually looked interesting, at least to her.

Belle pointed out a dark possibility. "As soon as the curse is revealed, Soun Tendo decides that Shampoo is a threat to the engagement and the cat needs to be eliminated. Looks like Soun and Genma keep quiet about the whole fiancee thing as even they realize that Ranma's liable to chuck it and leave with Shampoo and Nuku Nuku. Shampoo's the first girl ever to treat him kindly and he kind of fixates on her, but Nuku's human form awakens feelings that confuse him greatly."

Pluto grumbled. "How about the next one?"

**************

Stabilization Point: March 4, 1992
Location: Jusenkyo
Simulation Point: March 25, 1992

"Soun!"

"Genma! What happened to that panda who was here?"

"Well, it's like this..." Genma started to explain Jusenkyo.

"Oh, well, where's your son?" Soun gestured grandly to where his three daughters sat.

Genma scratched his head. "Well, you see, Soun old buddy. There's a problem with that."

****Messiah****

"HE WHAT?!" Soun stared at his old friend.

"Oh darn, well if he's renounced all family ties to join a monastery, then I guess there's no wedding. What a pity!" Akane smiled, her voice heavy with sarcasm.

Nabiki frowned. "True. In order to join that sort of monastery you have to renounce all family ties, including family honor."

"But our... family honor rests upon the marriage." Soun began wailing. "Saotome! How could you let this happen?!"

"It was at Jusenkyo," sighed Genma. "As you saw, I fell in the Spring Of Drowned Panda. Ranma fell into what the Guide called 'Spring Of Drowned Virtuous Man' and THAT is where the trouble began."

"Virtuous Man?" Kasumi looked up, intrigued.

"Yes, he came out with a gleam in his eye that had never been there before." Genma sighed again. "Later that same day he disappeared and when he had returned he had contrived to make his cursed condition permanent. He became even more dedicated to the Art, concerned with honor, concerned with morality, concerned with helping people. Oh, the SHAME of it all!"

Soun blinked. "This is a problem?"

"Then when we reached Japan, he told me he was dedicating his life to perfection in the Art. At the Lake Biwa Monastery! Cutting all earthly ties and becoming a monk!" Genma looked sadly at the table.

"The honor of two families depends on their being joined. How do you plan on overcoming this, Saotome?"

"Simple, Tendo. Though I deeply regret doing this." Genma sighed. "As soon as I realized that Ranma would not abandon his plan, I filed for divorce with my wife. It HAS been over ten years, after all."

Soun smiled, pushing any doubts or concerns behind him. "Of course! Not the best solution, but this will do it! Which one will it be?"

"Huh?" Akane was still being happy about there being no son, therefore no arranged marriage, therefore no BOY.

Nabiki's eyes widened as she realized what was going on.

Kasumi smiled sweetly and placed a hand on Akane's back, shoving forward. "Oh, he wants Akane."

Nabiki didn't hesitate. "Couldn't agree more."

"What are you talking about? I..." Akane's eyes bugged. "NO WAY!"

"Well, you hate boys, don't you Akane? You're in luck, here's someone who's a man. AND you get a part time panda at the same time, what a deal!" Nabiki smirked and continued pushing forward.

"And he's an experienced martial arts sensei, Akane." Kasumi held up a finger and smiled at her sister. "Haven't you been saying how you want advanced martial arts training?"

"But he's old enough to be my father! Literally!" Akane shook her head as she observed the cold soulless eyes, the piggy rolls of fat at the midsection, the stern look, the bald head. "NO WAY I'm getting married to some..."

"What do you think about next Saturday, Tendo?"

"Why not THIS Saturday? Though I admit having you for a son-in-law will be a bit strange. Try to make my little girl happy!"

"Of course, Tendo, of course!"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Akane screamed, hair actually managing to stand on end.

--------------------

The Outsider followed the hooded shape of Brother Theophylline. (A fairly good individual, though often short of breath and reluctant to speak.)

"There." Brother Theophylline pointed.

"The waterfall?" The woman glanced back. "This is where this hotshot new priest is?"

"There," agreed Theophylline.

Sighing, the woman trudged on, muttering under her breath about taciturn priests. Rumors of this priest had drawn her. Three months ago a novice had approached the monastery to take vows and seek Enlightenment. A priest who lived a life of privation and who now led the others by providing an example to strive for.

She'd heard enough to get curious. And the more she'd heard the more curious she'd gotten.

Walking over ground that still had much of the winter's snow on it, she finally reached the waterfall to catch her first glimpse of the priest.

The waterfall still had bits of ice in it, which washed over the firmly muscled form of the priest who sat lotus-style in the stream. Bits of ice clung to him, which made the woman wonder briefly if the priest had been placed here in death.

The eyes opened. "If you seek enlightenment, there are others more learned than I."

"Are you Ranma Saotome?"

The eyes closed again. "Ranma Saotome ceased to be. I am he who was the one you speak of. I am now Brother Ran, a novice of the Order Of The Inner Flame."

The woman drew closer, her eyes looking over the figure, scrutinizing every detail. If half she had heard was correct, this was not the Ranma Saotome she had expected to meet.

"Uhm, can you get out of there? It's hard to hear over the water, and I *really* need to settle a score with you."

The eyes flicked open and Brother Ran uncoiled gracefully. "I see. You seek redress. I am sorry but part of my vows have cut all ties with my past."

"Yeah, I know. Vows of poverty, vows of charity, vows of chastity, and vows of purity." The woman sighed. "They ain't permanent YET, though. Some great religious study or not, you still can't make the final set until your probation is up."

"A life of privation and charity. You cannot imagine how my soul aches to embrace such a destiny."

"Well, Brother Ran, BEFORE you take that step, I think you ought to know about MY family's honor. And tell me why you left your fiancee behind!"

"I have a fiancee? I do not recall anyone..." Ranma stared as he weighed the young woman in front of him. "Are you... Okonomiyaki Ucchan's sister?"

Facefaulting into snow-covered gravel can be painful. Ukyo rubbed her nose as she recovered. "Ran, we have got a LOT to talk about!"


================

EPILOGUE:

Pluto had stepped aside as Amaterasu and Sif joined the group, glad to be able to fade into the background again.

"So that's it. Depending on the point where we retro things to, three entirely different developments." Amaterasu seemed to retreat within herself to consider. She added a fourth view, showing the reality of the Pheonix Mage. "Or we could leave it go, and it'll seamlessly merge with this timeline with minimal disruption.

"This one, I think," Sif pointed at one.

"Excellent choice," agreed Amaterasu. "It is done."

-------

EPILOGUE 2:

Timestreams can bend and shift and move. They can also resonate to some degree. And so, on a timeline where the Pheonix Mage reveled in the role of Hero Of Light, he finally defeated Nehelenia through a long and arduous battle.

He ended up conquering China while he was at it.

Sometimes one can get so wrapped up in the goal, that one only realizes exactly what has been done when the goal has been reached.

As Sakyo had the plans, and a number of others had the abilities, his marionettes surprised Jared Saotome on his next birthday with the 'fatima adaptation' for Destroids. Giving them the same sort of responsiveness one would expect of a Veritech.

Unfortunately, after demonstrating his ability to bring cultural and economic revolution to China, several poor Asian countries seized on the "demonstration" as an excuse to surrender.

It was a good thing that elves did not get ulcers.

-------

EPILOGUE 3:

Akane exchanged a look with Shampoo, then looked down at the unconscious Ranma that had just been plopped down out of a hole in the air.

Hesitatingly, she reached out to pull the note from his chest.

"Dear Akane & Shampoo:
i promised you that if i ran into a spare Ranma,
i'd send him on. This one hasn't gone through
Jusenkyo, the Cat Fist, or a lot of the usual
garbage. He's a little young but should do.
-grey, Rival Relief Office"

Akane smiled at the unconscious Ranma, noting that he was fifteen or so - a couple of years younger than she was. "He's a little small, but I guess he'll do."

-------

EPILOGUE 4:

April 12, 2018

Kaji fiddled with his tie, only to have the imposing figure of Shinji chuckle at his nervousness.

"Come on, Kaji-san, it's not like this hasn't been coming for a few years." Shinji wagged a finger at the older man. "You don't want to disappoint Katsuragi-san, do you?"

"Well, just because it's been coming, doesn't mean it can't make you nervous. Besides, *I* certainly didn't see this as likely." Kaji glanced towards the muscular young man and tried to remember the faltering little boy he'd first met on an aircraft carrier.

There was a knock on the door, and Asuka arrived, wearing the armored plugsuit she'd developed a few years ago. There were no more Hellspawn (what they used to call Angels), but that didn't mean there weren't menaces to combat. Besides, maid-of-honor was originally a guardian position.

"Did Ayanami show?" Shinji asked hopefully.

"Nein, I don't think she'll make it." Asuka looked Kaji over critically before finally giving him a nod of approval. "I think she's still in Europe, helping out with the Flood victims. Frankly, with the tales of banditry out there, I'm thinking of heading off myself as soon as the weddings over."

Shinji nodded. Trust Asuka to find an excuse to go out and slice up a few bandits. Though bandits who preyed on the victims of natural disasters WERE a tempting target. "Well, that means that *I'll* have to stay here. Kick a few butts for me if you go."

"But of course, Shinji!" Asuka smiled kindly at her fellow paladin. "Always the responsible one, ne?"

"Someone's got to mind the store," Shinji reminded her, smiling back. "Now let's get those two married before Kaji OR Misato get cold feet again."

-------

EPILOGUE 5:

A man in a white turtleneck sweater, with a derby style hat, steps in front of a blank screen. "Hello, pholks, I'm Phil."

A well-endowed woman wearing next to nothing appears from the opposite direction. "And I'm Dixie. We weren't busy..."

Phil (as if confiding a great secret): "In other words we haven't had steady work since 'What's New with Phil & Dixie' folded in Dragon magazine."

Dixie (momentarily depressed): "Especially after D'arc Tangent fell apart. Geez, since then we've had steady work in one magazine but otherwise it's just brief cameos."

Phil (sighing): "Like this one."

Dixie (lightly bonks Phil on the derby): "Get on with it."

Phil (grins apologetically): "Oh yeah. We're here because YOU pressed the 'Help' key!"

Dixie (nods enthusiastically): "So. What subject did you want assistance with? Sex? Plane travel? Dating customs between interplanar beings? Interdimensional currency? Sex? Customs regulations in and out of Asgard? Compatibility ratings between various species? Hotwiring a landspeeder? Vulcan mating rituals?"

Phil (exasperated): "C'mon, Dixie, you'll have them thinking you're some kind of sex fiend."

Dixie (honestly perplexed): "Uhm, yeah, what's the problem?"

Phil (slaps hand over eyes): "Never mind, forgot who I was talking to."

Dixie (shrugs): "Anyway, just click on one of the topics below to indicate what you're having trouble with:
C)ustoms
D)ating and Sex
E)ncyclopedia of Worlds
G)adgets
L)anguage
M)agic
P)hysics
T)ravelling Method
U)pdates & File Maintenence
W)here the heck am I?"

Shan considered carefully for a brief moment, then gently depressed a key.

Dixie: "Oooo! Dating and Sex! Type in your gender and species!"

Shan thought for a moment before typing in "female cyborg."

Phil (holding up a finger). "Anatomically correct? Y/N"

Shan checked. "Y"

Dixie (smirks): "Gender and species of desired partner?"

Shan wrote in "Pheonix Mage."

Phil (tilting derby back): "An elf? Well, there's several 'hot spots' available for a fiery elf."

Dixie (evil grin): "Now you'll want to know that a light breath, when blown along the following areas..."

*ZIP! LATCH! LOCK! CONTAIN!*

Jared examined the 'Planar Guide' briefly, then decided that it was STILL not safe.

Shan pouted.

Jared took the device back to where a small group of girls waited, except that curiosity had gotten the better of him by the time he arrived.

A few moment of looking at menus brought a response. "What on Earth! What am *I* doing in here?!?? I was going to look up Keiichi for you." (slaps cover closed)

Urd cocked her head observantly. "So, Jay-chan, what did it say?
Huh?" Her eyes went low and sultry.

He fretted. "I don't know. I just say two section headers, 'Control Tips' and 'Endurance' and knew I'd never bring myself to read the rest."

Suddenly his hand felt lighter, relived of a burden. Flexing his fingers proved the Planewalker's Guide was gone. All around him girls were staring at him with innocent expressions, waiting for him to go away.

"Oh great, I should've destroyed that thing when I had the chance."

-------

EPILOGUE 6:

"Didn't find him?" Ami Mercury asked just before she was shoved through a wall.

"Not a trace," growled Haruka Uranus. She glanced at the Ami-shaped hole in the ferrocrete wall and idly wondered if she'd gotten soft living on this world.

"We must have gone to a dozen worlds, and I can't say we saw any intelligent life," sighed Michiru.

"Not even that many decent fights," agreed Haruka, leaving the transport room with Michiru. "C'mon, I could use a hot soak."

After a few moments, Ami dragged herself back through the hole. "I wonder if Usagi's ready to call it off yet?"

--------

EPILOGUE 7:

Ginseng threaded her way through the lab, checking records and files that even Doctor Lorelei wouldn't have made sense out of.

Anyone expecting an assembly line production for the marionettes would have been surprised. Not that there wasn't something like that in New Texas or in the Juuichiban section of Japoness Discount Marionette Factory.

That was not what Sakyo had built, and most of the elite marionettes were made by exactly this sort of method. Instead of an assembly line with boxes of arms and legs to attach, there were vats containing a thick gel in which many little bits of metal glimmered. Banks of sophisticated computers and microtransmitters told the nanobots in the gel what to do.

As Sakyo had promised, she had left the systems up and running for Doctor Lorelei. Some files had been wiped, leaving the marionette factory with a technological upgrade of a century or two at most. Mainly in the speed that the androids could be built, their skin, and the neural sophistication of the inner network. Except for the vents and a few other details, the marionettes from this factory could pass for human in most situations.

Finally Ginseng found reference to a hidden room. Three elite marionettes as backup in case something went wrong with her plans.

Those pods were empty too.

"Lorelei-sama," Ginseng spoke into the transmitter after spending two hours alone in the factory, "I've disabled the security systems in a corridor to the front door. Bring Baiko and Tamasaburo, also Gennai-ojiisan. It looks like we've got the factory ready to use."

"I'm afraid that won't be allowed. Japonesse cannot be allowed to have access to such technology."

Ginseng turned before a charged ninjato sliced through her neck.

The kunoichi placed a bomb right over the marionette's virgin circuit and addressed the head while it still blinked at her. "Rest in pieces, foul excremental worm. For the good of the timelines, die helpless and in screaming agony."

A man in spacer gear tsked from the shadows. "Is that really necessary?"

"No," admitted the female ninja. "But it makes me feel a lot better."

-------

EPILOGUE 8:

Grey sat at the edge of Mimir's Well and observed as the chosen timeline continued now without Divine OR Infernal Intervention. Some parts were funny, some were sad. All of which was perfectly normal for such things.

There were the Sailor Scouts, each orbitting their love interest. There was the perky Ranko, the Reluctant Teishi known as Scarlet, and the hentai disciple of Happosai - Akane Tendo. The Tendo twins, Nabiki and Kasumi. A seventeen year old Cologne chatting amiably with her mother-in-law Nodoka in the Saotome kitchen. Various sundry other girls all drawn to the eldest child - Jared Saotome. Queen Serenity and her daughter (multiply removed) Serena and granddaughter Rini.

Though they were fated to fight dire foes and have to deal with numerous problems, it was obvious that the vast majority of them were content if not happy. Far more were happy than not. It was a time of exploration and invention, political turmoil and social upheaval. Just little projects like terraforming Mars was bringing censure from various sources around the world. Not to mention all the horrors of rumor and innuendo that were turned against them. Nonetheless, they were *mainly* happy.

A sound brought his attention to the arch that marked the entryway to the Well's area. How long she had been there and watching him, he had no idea.

"This is unexpected," understated Grey. He indicated a place nearby. "Have a seat?"

She nodded and moved forward to sit in the indicated area, remaining silent for her own reasons.

Grey glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, catching her own look and slight smile. Maybe, just maybe, they could be friends at least?

That wasn't too much to hope for, was it?

=============

Hmmm. i hear a few odd phrases out there. Mainly "who?"

Well, that's up to you. Who indeed? Definitely a HER though, so no votes for Tatewaki or Ryoga or Mousse. Starch is also NOT a candidate. There are a number of quite different versions of different characters, so if you e-mail me with a choice of Kasumi it becomes a question of WHICH Kasumi. (Or if more than one decides to stick around...) i'm trying something on my webpage for this. If it works (big 'if'), this might be useful in a way to write a fic.

There is a THIRD labor planned, an idea that keeps kicking me in the shins and demanding to be written. It's a different genre, though with anime tie-ins. Less slapstick, no divine or infernal intervention, and more a herculean task that could take years to accomplish. And due to Ares' little gotcha, once in nobody's going to be able to leave until its over.