Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ A Big Help ❯ Kuno No Baka ( Chapter 3 )

A Big Help

A Ranma one half/Sailor Moon crossover fanfic

By Michael A. Ivins

 

Mykon and Jora are my original creations so I request that nobody uses them without permission. The rest of these characters are the property of their creators, publishers, anime production companies, etc. I write this for fun and make no profit off it.

 

Chapter 3

Kuno No Baka

 

A few blocks from Furinkan High there was a little coffee shop. Much like others of its type there were booths lined up against the floor-to-ceiling windows. No doubt the purpose of this was to allow the patrons a view of passing pedestrians. For the two girls sitting in one of those booths the additional benefit was that they were also visible from the street. This might help to discourage any unwanted displays of affection from the man they were waiting for.

 

One of the girls was a redhead dressed in a pair of black pants and a red silk shirt. The other was still wearing a Furinkan school uniform. While they waited, they sipped tea and talked. Two booths over a girl with her brown hair in a “helmet' style was sipping coffee with one of her “associates.”

 

Ranma said, “This is stupid. Even if Kuno wasn't there for my accident and the demonstration after, he should have heard about it. There were guys from the Kendo Club there.

 

Akane answered, “That doesn't mean he's spoken to any of them today. If he did hear about it he probably didn't believe it. Besides, we promised to meet him here so we should do that. Nabiki said we should just go ahead as if he didn't hear.”

 

The redhead complained, “Even if he hasn't heard about it, somebody's going to tell him eventually. If he hears about it after this little meeting, he'll be mad that we lied.”

 

“We don't have to tell any lies. We just don't tell him all of the truth.”

 

“Personally I don't see why we can't just tell Kuno to get lost and let that be the end of it.”

 

“I don't like it either, but Nabiki is right when she says Kuno is a major source of the income that keeps a roof over our heads. I don't like Kuno, I never did. Even before he started that `you must defeat her to date her' stupidity, I didn't like him. Even when he's trying to be nice he had this `Oh so superior' attitude that gets on my nerves.”

 

“If you don't like him and I don't, why are we here?”

 

“On this one I agree with Nabiki. I don't mind seeing the perverted jerk bled of his money. As Nabiki explains it to me I don't have to say I forgive him, just that I might be able to forgive him someday. I can even agree that might happen someday (maybe when hell freezes over.)”

 

“Don't you feel a little dirty leading him on like that? I mean letting him think he has a chance with you when he really doesn't?”

 

Akane had a grim expression. “Not at all, because of that superior attitude I mentioned. He thinks he's the Kamis' gift to women. If he wants to date any girl he seems to think she should be grateful that someone as `awesome' as him is paying attention to her.”

 

“What a pig!”

 

“Yeah! I'm pretty sure he believes at least most of the bragging he does about himself. If a girl tells him she's not interested he takes that to mean she is being coy. If you kick him over the horizon he thinks you're playing hard-to-get.”

 

Ranma was astonished. “Can anyone really be that clueless?”

 

“Kuno can.”

 

“How can they let someone like that wander around without a keeper?”

 

“He's rich and his father is the principal of Furinkan.”

 

Ranma got a thoughtful expression. “Yeah, my gym teacher said something about that. He said that if any of the teachers had tried to stop the hentai horde they would have been fired.”

 

Akane nodded. “I know. It didn't make me feel any better about it. For them standing back and refusing to help me there's more than one I'd like to flatten with my mallet.”

 

Ranma looked toward the door, “Here he comes.”

 

Kuno was again dressed in his kendo uniform and Ranma idly wondered if he ever wore anything else. In his hands the boy was carrying two large bouquets of long stemmed red roses wrapped in paper. He must have already spotted the two girls through the window because he didn't pause to look around before heading to their table.

 

Both girls were on one side of the table so Kuno was forced to sit opposite them. Before sliding into the seat, he placed the bouquets on the table, one in front of each girl. “Truly the beauty of these blooms is eclipsed by the radiance of thy countenance.”

 

When he had settled he commented, “I had hoped to speak to each of you separately.”

 

Ranma responded, “Akane and I both thought this would save time.”

“Would you be willing to meet with me separately?”

 

Ranma gave a penetrating stare. “You wouldn't be thinking of trying some kind of `divide and conquer' tactic, would you?”

 

The kendo champion put on an expression of wounded innocence. “No, I would never do that.”

 

“Yeah, right,” thought Ranma. Out loud she said, “Your letter said you wanted to apologize to me. I don't really think I'm the one you should be apologizing to. You did nothing to me and actually didn't say anything offensive to me. I suppose I should be making an apology to you for interfering in what was likely a private matter. It is just that I was moved to righteous anger by what I perceived to be a terrible injustice.”

 

“Indeed, you were justified. I confess that I did not realize the magnitude of the offence I was unwittingly committing against the fair Akane. Although I know it is no excuse, I was not aware that she would view it as an assault on her virtue.”

 

Akane's battle aura flared. “Wasn't aware? You're damn right it's no excuse! I've had nightmares about those boys attacking me! You instigated those attacks.”

 

Kuno hung his head. “I am truly sorry. It will not happen again. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

 

Akane was very angry. She looked like she was about to snatch up the flowers and throw them in Kuno's face. With an effort she controlled herself. Have to stick to the plan. “I can't forgive you now. The pain you have caused me is too fresh. I may be able forgive you some day, but that will likely be a long time from now.”

 

“I understand. What of you, pig tailed girl?”

 

“Huh? What about me?”

 

“Would you be interested in dating with me?”

 

“What? You… After I… They way you behaved…” She stopped and seemed to take a moment to get control of herself. “Have you heard it said how important it is to make a good first impression?”

 

“I have heard that.”

 

“Not to be offensive, but you have not made a good impression on me. I can't for the present believe that you are the kind of person that I would want to go on a date with. Since this is based on a first impression, I realize that it is possible that I'm wrong. However, it would take a great deal of convincing to make me believe otherwise.”

A smile lit up the boy's face. “My loves, hope remains. I must go and think on how best to pursue this.” With that he got up and made his way out of the coffee shop.

 

As Nabiki slid into the seat just vacated by Kuno, Akane commented, “What an idiot.”

Looking slightly ill, Ranma asked, “Was that OK, Nabiki? Neither of us said we were interested but left the possibility open that we might become interested sometime in the future.”

 

“In Kuno's delusional world the only thing that will matter to him is that you didn't say you hate him and are not getting a restraining order against him. Give him a week and he will believe that you declared your eternal love him.”

 

“Humph!” said Ranma. “That guy needs therapy and lots of it.”

 

Nabiki nodded, “No argument from me. He's a psycho but at least he's a rich psycho.”

 

Ranma responded, “That doesn't make him someone I'd want to hang out with and definitely not someone I'd want to date with.”

 

“Me either.”

 

As they left Ranma stuffed her bouquet of roses into a trash bin. Akane kept hers. When Ranma looked at her questioningly, Akane explained, “Kasumi might like these.”

 

Back at the dojo they had training to work on and Ranma had to talk to Soun about possibly using the space in the training hall to teach a class on ki techniques.

 

The following day Ranma and Akane again walked the fence. Akane was still a bit unsteady, but was improving (or at least Ranma said so.) They avoided the ladle lady and were actually on time when they got to the school gates.

 

Kuno was waiting next to his usual tree. It appeared the method of wooing Akane he had decided to use consisted of reciting poetry and lines from Shakespearean plays. Before he got very far in his rant, he noticed a boy with his black hair in a pigtail. He demanded, “You there, peasant. Why do you stand so close to the fair Tendo Akane? What is she to you?”

 

Ranma stepped forward. “I…”

 

Before Ranma could even start Kuno interrupted, “But wait! Isn't it the custom to give one's own name first? Fine! That I shall. I am the rising star of the high school fencing world. My voice strikes fear into the hearts of those who would oppose me. The heavens tremble at the sound of my name. I am called the blue thunder of Furinkan High. I am Kuno Tatewaki, age 17.”

 

In the distance there was a flash of lightning and a rumble of thunder. Ranma thought, “Ooh, nice effect. I wonder how he does that.” He said, “I am the heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial arts. I am Saotome Ranma, age 16.”

 

“As to what Akane is to me, she is my student and she is my friend. I was standing close because we were talking about aspects of her training. I am staying at the Tendo training hall.”

 

A look of rage crossed the face of the kendo champion. “Under the same roof as the fair Akane? I will not allow it!” The boy drew his bokken.

 

Akane shouted, “He's staying with my family.”

 

Kuno wasn't listening. He roared, “Silence!” and charged forward.

 

In a bewildering moment of blurred movement Kuno found himself past Ranma's previous position with his hands empty. He looked around and found Ranma standing in a casual stance, holding the bokken in one hand with the back of the blade resting against his shoulder. “Not really fair to attack me with this when I'm unarmed.”

 

Akane was amazed. She knew Ranma was fast, but hadn't realized how fast. “I didn't see him move.”

 

Kuno thought, “He's good.” Out loud he said, “Do not think that you will find me unprepared.” He pulled another bokken from his clothing and yelled, “Have at thee, knave!”

 

Still casually leaning the bokken against his shoulder, Ranma dodged with seemingly no effort at all. “Are you sure we can't talk about this?” he asked.

 

Getting frustrated, Kuno demanded, “Stand still so that I may smite you.”

 

Ranma frowned. “That would be kind of stupid. Oh, well, if you don't want to talk…” He swung the wooden blade off his shoulder and engaged the other sword.

 

What followed was a blurr. The air was filled with the “clack, clack” of wooden blades striking each other. Try as he would Kuno couldn't find the smallest opening in the other's defense.

 

Akane was watching the fight. She was not able to follow the motions of the weapons but she was able to catch a little of the movements or at least the stance used by the combatants. After studying these for a moment she came to a realization. She shouted out, “Ranma, quit playing around with this jerk and let's get inside. We're going to be late.”

 

Still too fast to see the movements, Ranma used his borrowed blade to strike a stunning blow on Kuno's head. Ranma followed that up with a kick that sent the kendo champion flying over the school's outdoor swimming pool.

 

Ranma watched the other's flight with a critical eye. “Hmm, didn't get the distance I wanted with that kick.”

 

Akane came up beside him. “If I know Kuno, you'll get another chance to practice your kicks on him.” She paused then asked, “You were never in any trouble, were you?”

 

“How could you tell?”

 

She answered, “I didn't try to watch the swords, they were moving too fast. I looked at your stance. You were too casual. I could see you weren't putting any effort into the fight.”

 

As they turned toward the school he told her, “He wasn't nearly as good as Master Tsu, the sword master I studied under in Hong Kong. That was the best sword workout I've had in a long time, but that's not saying much.”

 

“Just how good are you?”

 

“If my dad was here to listen, I'd tell you `I'm the best.' For right now just let it stand that I'm better than Kuno.” As they went into the school building Ranma left the bokken laying on the top of a trash bin. If nobody else took it, Kuno should be able to reclaim his property later.

 

Once again they were late and had to stand in the hall, holding buckets.

 

Ranma commented, “I don't get it. Kuno is still acting like he hasn't heard I can change into the `pigtailed girl.' Somebody should have told him by now.”

 

Akane ventured, “Maybe he didn't believe it. You have to admit it is a pretty unbelievable sounding story. If I hadn't seen you change, I probably wouldn't believe it myself.”

 

He nodded. “You do have a point.”

 

Akane was looking at the floor. “Ranma, I'm sorry you keep getting dragged into my problems.”

 

In a gentle tone Ranma ordered, “Don't be taking the blame for that idiot. You did nothing wrong.”

 

“Did you mean that when you said I'm your friend?”

 

“I'd like to have you as a friend. You don't mind that I said that do you?”

 

She thought about it for a moment. “I'm satisfied you aren't a jerk. The way you handled those boys Monday and Kuno yesterday makes me sure you aren't a pervert. (It really seems strange that there is a boy who isn't a pervert.) I think I'd like to be your friend.”

 

Ranma gave her a warm smile. “Thanks Akane, that means a lot to me. Being on the road so much the last ten years I haven't had many friends. I think my Dad was deliberately trying to keep me from making friends. I would just barely start to get to know someone and we'd be moving on.”

 

“That sounds so lonely. Was your father the only person you had for company?”

 

“Most of the time. He didn't really act like a father; he was my sensei. He was always trying to make me better in the Art. We never had any fun. He never approved of me making friends because it was a distraction from the Art.”

 

“I like your father less and less.”

 

“He has that effect on people. I think the only person I've ever met who really liked him is your dad. With his looks and what passes for a personality, I have a hard time imagining how he got my mom to marry him. She must have been (maybe still is) a woman of incredible patience.”

 

Akane took that in and felt shocked. “You don't know if your mom is alive?”

 

“No, Pops won't tell me. He's sort of implied that she died, but never actually came out and said so. The thing that confuses me is that a few times he's let something slip that hints she might still be alive. I just don't know.”

 

“Do you remember anything about her from when you were little?”

 

“I remember she was very pretty. I also remember her holding me and making me feel warm and safe. I'm afraid I don't remember a lot of details.”

 

Akane looked over to see Ranma wiping at his eyes. “Akane, do you mind if we don't talk about her any more.”

 

The girl was immediately sorry. “He must miss her very much.”

 

In a classroom elsewhere in the school Nabiki was talking to Kuno.

 

“FIANCE!? He's her FIANCE?” Kuno shouted.

 

“Yeah, our parents arranged it.”

 

“I cannot allow it!” A chalk eraser hit Kuno in the head, cutting off the kendo champion's rant.

 

The teacher ordered, “Kuno, go stand in the hall.”

 

Kuno meekly replied, “Yes, sir.”

 

Ranma and Akane continued to converse in low tones. Suddenly Ranma's danger sense pinged and he leapt up. Some water passed through the space where he had been standing. When he landed Ranma looked to see Kuno holding an empty bucket.

 

Ranma was going to ask, “What is it now?” but didn't get the chance. Kuno yelled, “This engagement cannot be allowed to continue! It is a disgrace, a travesty!”

 

Ranma and Akane exchanged a look. How did this idiot find out about the engagement? Akane reflected that she would have to have a word with Nabiki about this later.

 

The couple tried to shush Kuno while gesturing in hopes of getting him to shut up. He wasn't taking hints and continued to rant. All up and down the hall windows slid open and heads popped out to check out the disturbance.

 

“Engaged?” “They never said anything about that.” “Can they get married if Saotome changes into a girl?” “They make such a cute couple.” “I guess Akane is `off the market' now.” “Do you think they've `done it' yet?”

 

Ranma protested, “It was our parents' idea, not ours!”

 

As usual, Kuno wasn't listening. He swung with his bokken and cut off the bottom of one of the buckets that Ranma was holding. Ranma reflected that the boy must have infused ki into the blade. Normally a wooden blade wouldn't be able to so easily slice the metal of the bucket. He had to leap again to avoid having the water change his gender.

 

Feeling that this fight was too good to miss, several of the students bailed out from their classrooms and went into the hall. Naturally the teachers were protesting this and just as naturally their protests fell on deaf ears.

 

Ranma was not really threatened by the glacially slow thrusts that Kuno was using, but there was as risk that one of the students watching might be hurt. Ranma cast a quick look around and then started running down the hall. Over his shoulder he called out, “This is no place for a fight. Follow me.”

 

“That I shall,” responded Kuno. All of the students took off running to be sure and see how the fight ended. There was a teacher who ordered, “No running in the hall.”

 

Akane, who was in the lead, answered, “Yes, sir,” but didn't slow her pace in the slightest.

 

Ranma came to an open window and said, “This looks like a good shortcut.” He leapt to the windowsill then out. Kuno didn't hesitate to follow. It was only when he realized where he was did Kuno start to scream. One of the students watching protested, “But we're on the third floor.”

 

Not in fear but annoyance Ranma saw they were falling toward the outdoor pool and shouted, “Water, why does it always have to be water?”

 

They landed with a huge splash. They made a bad landing and both were slightly stunned. However, being martial artists both were tough and recovered quickly. Ranma floated up and looked to see if Kuno was OK. She thought of grabbing him and towing him to the side when he abruptly seemed to come to life.

 

Kuno's arms went around the girl with one hand closing in a painful grip on one of her breasts. Ranma swung her legs down to brace her feet on the bottom of the pool. (They were in the shallow end). Grasping Kuno's head she leapt out of the water and slammed him down on the side of the pool.

 

Kuno was not hurt but he was puzzled. “I'm almost certain that was a woman I grabbed.”

 

The kendo champion sat up and saw Ranma standing a short distance away. Since Ranma's secret had been revealed to the whole school the day before, she didn't see any reason to run away.

 

“Pigtailed girl? How is it that Saotome has escaped and left you in his place?”

 

“Escaped? I'm right here!”

 

“Yes pigtailed girl, I see you there. I'm talking about that coward Saotome Ranma.” While he was speaking, Kuno stood up.

 

Ranma was losing patience. “Are you always this dim? I am Saotome Ranma!”

 

Kuno looked Ranma up and down. “While his cowardly actions clearly demonstrate that Saotome is no man, still he is male. Forgive the vulgarity but you obviously bear the attributes of one who is thoroughly and dare I say, deliciously, female.” He was getting a good look at the wet silk shirt clinging tightly to Ranma's ample assets.

 

Ranma couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. “Look, I know you weren't at school yesterday but someone must have told you the story about what happened in the schoolyard in the morning?”

 

“I heard some nonsense about a boy changing into a girl. I didn't pay it any heed.”

 

“Were you dropped on your head as a baby? Saotome Ranma the boy changed into me, Saotome Ranma, the girl. I'm the same person.”

 

“The thought that one such as Saotome could change into such vision of loveliness as yourself is repugnant in the extreme. It becomes clear to me now what must have happened. Saotome is a practitioner of the dark arts. He has cast some elaborate illusion that has tricked the students of this school into believing that a substitution was an actual transformation. He has then placed your mind in thrall so that you would also believe such a preposterous story.”

 

Ranma demanded to know, “Don't you think it is beyond the limits of coincidence that two men jumped out the window but it was a girl you grabbed. (That hurt by the way.)” She rubbed at the offended flesh.

 

“It is but more of the foul sorcerer's trickery.”

 

That was it! Ranma had reached the limit of patience that was already worn thin. “KUNO NO BAKA!” she shouted as she delivered a kick that sent the boy flying over the roof of the school. She wasn't too angry to note with some satisfaction, “Much better distance on that kick.”

 

She chided herself on letting her temper get the better of her. Had she been calmer she might have tried to demonstrate the curse by changing back and forth a few times while the idiot was watching. Then again, as resistant to information on that subject as Kuno had just demonstrated himself to be, maybe it would be better not to waste the effort. It seemed a pretty safe bet that things were not over between Kuno and her.

 

Shaking her head, Ranma headed inside in search of a towel. Until she could get the cold water off her body and out of her clothing using the hot water from her thermos would only give a temporary change.

 

Athor's Note: This is a short chapter but I'm trying keep them broken up by the subject matter contained within.