Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ A Cold Dish ❯ Part Three ( Chapter 2 )

A Cold Dish

By Lord Raa

Part three

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Disclaim-me-do: Shall we peek through the beef curtains to see what we can see?

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"Did something happen to you while you were away, Ranchan?"

"Yes."

Ukyo blinked at the unhelpful response from her friend. "Are going to explain to your oldest friend?"

Ranma sniffed before rubbing his nose. "Not yet."

"Why?"

"Because you are not ready to know. Besides, how do I know that you're actually with me?" Ranma asked. "You know, `to the Bitter End'? You have been known to use our friendship to score fiancée points."

Ranma noticed that Ukyo's fear was now clearly visible on her face. He smiled, though it didn't do much to reassure the chef.

He decided to do what he could to make his friend comfortable, "I'll tell you this, Ucchan: the Amazons won't be bothering me anymore."

"W-what did you do to them?" Ukyo hesitantly inquired.

"Nothing much."

"`Nothing much'?" Ukyo repeated in disbelief. "After all the hassle they caused you, you pretty much left them alone?"

"Yep. Oh, didn't I mention that I'm now cured?" Ranma asked, dumping the cold remains of his tea over his arm.

"Cured," Ukyo mumbled while reaching for a paper towel to clean up the mess. "So now you're a guy the whole time?"

"Yep," Ranma answered. He seemed to now like these cryptic answers and that unsettled Ukyo.

"And because they gave you a cure, you've let them go without so much as a beating?" Ukyo seemed angry at this turn of events.

"Nope. I gave Mousse a beat down he won't forget. Ever."

"What makes you say that?"

"I'd like to think that people would remember things like a chair shoved so far up your ass, that you need to have your stomach pumped to have it removed," Ranma casually explained. He noticed the expression on Ucchan's face. "Yes, he had that look on his face, too. But, once I mentioned that he broke up my wedding, the village elders cut me some slack. When I told them that Shampoo was also there to do the same, they started to look a bit upset with me. They still thought that I was going to marry her."

"Then what happened?" Ukyo was now intrigued, in a morbid "train wreck" sort of way.

"I mentioned that I beat Saffron. Now THAT stopped them in their tracks. Cologne pointed out that they'd received a note from Nabiki. I gave them a chance to redeem their tribe in the eyes of an extremely powerful and pissed off foreigner. After all, who's going to miss a tribe that isn't supposed to exist?"

Ukyo nodded in understanding. "So what did they do to save themselves?"

"Special training. I spent four months there, learning what I could. How do you think I knew which points to press to lock up your body?" Ranma smiled.

"Oh, I wondered about that. So you exchanged Shampoo's life for knowledge. What about me? What can I offer you, since you know that the Tendos are responsible for your parents' deaths?" Ukyo asked, now needing to know why she was still unharmed.

"I need a place to stay." Ranma got up to get a fresh pot of tea.

"That's it?" Ukyo asked, not believing what she was hearing.

"Well, I needed to be sure that no one was lying to me, but yeah, I'm mainly using you for a place to crash."

"But what about the promise?" Ukyo asked, now standing behind Ranma.

Ranma turned and looked Ukyo straight in the eye. "Are you telling me that you don't want to get the `Ice Bitch' back for everything she's done to your best friend?"

"Of course I do!" Ukyo protested.

"Well, my dear Ukyo, when I decide on a suitable punishment for the Tendos, you will understand why this needs to be kept secret," Ranma answered, placing a reassuring hand on Ukyo's shoulder.

"I'm not going to be part of a murder plot, am I?" Ukyo's knees were now shaking. If Ranma wanted to force anyone into doing something, it would be a walk in the park for him.

"No. Not if I can help it. Killing someone changes you forever. I don't want anyone to go through that if I can help it," Ranma answered softly.

"What are you going to do once you've got your revenge?"

"That depends on whether or not I have anything to live for," Ranma replied sadly. "I'm thinking of joining my parents in the next world, once my work here is done."

"I'm going to lose you again, aren't I?" Ukyo asked, though it was mainly to herself.

Ukyo took a step forward and hugged Ranma tightly.

"I haven't decided yet. It all depends on how the Tendos react to my plans," Ranma told his friend. "No plan ever survives contact with the enemy, but I'll tell you this: if it comes down to me or them, then they'll be the ones dead."

"B-but what about me?" Ukyo pondered aloud.

Ranma looked at Ucchan puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"If it turns nasty, will you protect me?" Ukyo asked. "I haven't been training for a while, so I'm a bit out of shape," the chef confessed.

Ranma moved his hands across his friend's body, causing Ukyo to blush.

"Yes, your ass is a bit flabby these days."

"Ranchan!" she squealed, embarrassed but at the same time, a little bit excited by the contact her former fiancé had initiated. "I'm not that kind of girl!"

"You weren't when I left, but you know how things change," Ranma solemnly explained. "When we first met, I didn't think you were any kind of girl," he added with a small laugh.

Ukyo frowned at first, but then smiled at the memory of Ranma's previously clueless nature. "Silly Ranchan."

"Yeah, well I'm not so silly now," Ranma interrupted the girl's reminiscing of days gone by.

Ukyo's smile fell from her face. It had occurred to her that just as when she was forced to grow up following the dishonour that Genma caused her clan, Ranma had been forced to discard the childish innocence that caused many schoolgirls to dream about the pig-tailed boy.

The girl stepped away from Ranma and took a deep breath. "So now what?"

"Well, you call the school to tell them that you won't be in today and I'll search the Tendo's place for clues to tell me which of those fuckers knew what," Ranma replied.

Ukyo looked at the angry young man in front of her, unsure as why he was being so magnanimous with regards to the inhabitants of Nerima. "Why?" she whispered.

Ranma heard this and explained. "That's something you can thank the Amazons for. I'm not going to kill everybody that accidentally saw a naughty photo of me or copped a feel: that would make me as bad as that bastard Ryoga. I need to know who did what so I can punish those responsible."

"What did the Amazons do?"

"They convinced me to wait and see who knew and did what. That if I manipulated those that thought that they were smarter than me, then my revenge would be so much sweeter."

"I bet they said that to save themselves," Ukyo groused at the sneakiness of foreigners.

"They did confess to trying to save Shampoo and Cologne, but because I'd calmed down a bit after being cured and punishing Mousse, I saw the other reason for not charging in like some bloodthirsty maniac: that I might hurt someone innocent. That's the reason why I didn't come back sooner and kill you all."

"Thanks," was Ukyo's stunned reply.

"You're welcome, Ucchan. Now phone up the school, I'll be back before lunchtime."

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An invisible Ranma slipped out the back door of the Ucchan and leapt up to the rooftops of Ukyo's neighbourhood. Ignoring the strange feeling of being back in Nerima, even though it was his home town for the longest time since his early childhood, the orphaned young man made his way to the Tendo dojo.

On his way there, he noticed the lack of property damage to the surrounding area and felt a twinge of guilt about all the havoc that followed him to this relatively quiet area of Tokyo. When he arrived at the dojo, he recalled just how much of the trouble had been stirred up by others, Nabiki in particular.

Ranma leapt to the dojo roof, still using one of his father's own techniques. He looked around for evidence of occupants; upon seeing none, he snuck in via an open kitchen window.

Not wanting to take any chances, Ranma not only remained under the cloak on the Umi-sen-ken hidden from view, but did his best to keep to the shadows and blind spots of the house as he started his cursory search for evidence.

Deciding that the best place to look would be Nabiki's room, Ranma slid up the door and tried the handle. When it was found to be unlocked, Ranma paused.

Did this mean that Nabiki was so confident that no one would suspect her, that she felt that she didn't need to lock her own room? Or was it a trap, designed to catch and discredit any who thought that the "sweet and innocent" Tendo daughters could do no wrong?

Taking a deep breath, Ranma opened the door enough to slip in and closed it behind him.

Nabiki's room hadn't changed much since the last time Ranma had caught a glimpse of the inside. The only major change was a new looking CD player a small pile of recently released CDs.

Utilising the hidden weapons technique of the blind idiot Mousse, Ranma pulled out a Polaroid camera and took photos to help him get everything back as it was. Satisfied that he'd be able to restore the room, Ranma began his search for the middle Tendo girl's diary.

It took a while, but Ranma managed to locate a hollowed book that contained a set of keys. Searching for a few minutes more, Ranma found a lockable box hidden under the bed.

`Jackpot,' he said to himself.

Trying the keys as they rested on the ring, Ranma found that the third one along opened the box and made a mould with some soap he had borrowed from Ucchan's bathroom.

Opening the box revealed a bank book for an account in the name of Nabiki Tendo, some photos of his girl side, a small amount of cash. Ranma assumed that the pictures were for emergencies.

When he looked at the most recent balance, Ranma was a little stunned to see a mid seven figure sum staring back at him. He quickly brought his camera round to get clear shots of this evidence before packing it away.

His father's less than honourable actions of the past were now proving useful, much to Ranma's distaste.

Still lacking the "smoking gun" as many TV detectives put it, Ranma continued to investigate the room for Nabiki's diary, in the hope that it would tell who to cripple and who to just beat the shit out of.

He turned to the chest of drawers and started open the top drawer. Still not wanting to tempt fate, he did this gently to reduce any noise. He decided that Nabiki would be too smart to tempt fate with a degenerate pervert in the house to hide the journal of her inner most secrets in her underwear drawer. Ranma searched for the elusive book in the drawers that had t-shirts and jeans in them, but found nothing.

When he looked at the alarm clock, the improper occupier of the room saw that it was nearly time to leave in order to discuss things with Ukyo. Ranma, deciding that he could always come back, gathered all of the instant photos and reset the room as it was prior to his entrance.

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Ranma entered Ucchan's via the tradesman's entrance. He called out to Ukyo, not wanting to scare the girl any more than he had already since his return to Nerima.

"Hi Ranchan," the chef replied, looking up from the bowl of okonomiyaki batter she had been mixing up for lunch. "What'd you find out?"

"Not as much as I'd hoped," Ranma answered, scratching the base of his pigtail in frustration.

"Oh well, let's eat and while you tell me about everything that you found," Ukyo suggested after finishing up the batter. "You want anything in particular?"

"Teriyaki-style beef sounds good, if you've got it."

Ukyo checked the fridge and pulled out the container with the remainder of the flavoured meat. "You're in luck, I've got just enough for a Ranchan-sized portion."

Ranma smiled. "Thanks, Ucchan."

As Ukyo dished up lunch, Ranma pulled out the photos of his first visit to the Tendos in a while.

"Here Ucchan, what do you make of this?" Ranma handed his host the shot of the CD player. "I don't remember her having anything that looked like this when I was there."

Ukyo appraised the hi-fi equipment as best she could, consumer electronics not being her forte and all. "It looks like it's expensive."

The player in question was a sleek design, silver in colour with separate elevated sections each for the CD & MD players and the digital radio. Judging by the size of the speakers, the whole package was either a "cheap and cheerful" budget model or a high quality system for those with a good ear, but not much space.

From Ranma's experience, Nabiki enjoyed the finer things in life, so the latter option seemed more likely.

"Well, I know that she's got some money squirreled away," Ranma, now three quarters of the way through his meal, showed Ukyo the photo of the bank book.

Ukyo choked when she saw the amount in the account - it was more than the Ucchan's made in a quarter.

When Ranma saw chef start to gasp for air, he leapt around the table and performed the Heimlich manoeuvre. When the food was dislodged, Ranma asked if his friend was ok.

"I will be, Ranchan." Ukyo unconsciously took advantage of being in Ranma's arms and leant back against his chest. "Hmm."

"Still trying to take advantage of me?" Ranma teased. "I thought that you weren't that kind of girl, Ucchan."

Ukyo leapt out of the half-embrace in shock.

"Sorry, Ranchan, I didn't mean to do that," Ukyo apologised.

Ranma decided that he couldn't let that go without at least a little bit of teasing/ego stroking. "It was just that you were taken in by my manly presence and just had to make a play for the studly martial artist, right?"

Ukyo's face turned scarlet at Ranma's suggestion. Then a thought occurred to her. "I noticed that you were quick to wrap your arms around me," she said with a smile on her face.

Ranma was lost for words for a moment. After a brief koi impression, he burst out in laughter.

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At the same time Ranma finished his early lunch, Kasumi returned from her morning shopping excursion. As she put the groceries away, she noticed that something seemed off about the open window.

"That's odd," she mused. "I thought that I'd closed that window more."

Putting those thoughts from her mind, she went about preparing lunch for her father and herself.

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To be continued…

This chapter was pre-read and given a "Meh" of "approval" by the following people: Chi Vayne, Taxzombie and Ghost in the Machine.

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