Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ A tribute to 'Feh' ❯ A tribute to 'Feh' ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

There are a lot of words that are used in great ways in anime, from
the universal `baka' to Inu-Yasha's `SIT!'. One word in particular
stands out, however. It is a great word. It is a powerful word. It is
used to express confidence and disgust, and is therefore perfect for
almost all male characters in anime (at least those made by Rumiko
Takahashi). The word I speak of, of course, is `Feh'. It can be used
in numerous different ways, and almost always fits the purpose
perfectly. I won't go into detail about its uses, though. I'll leave
it to the champion of `Feh', Ranma Saotome.

I don't own Ranma. Suing won't get you anywhere. Tough.

This takes place just after Episode 38 of the manga (the failed
wedding), so SPOILERS!

A Tribute to `Feh'

Feh.

It's a great word, isn't it? It allows me to express myself perfectly.
You see, the world's got a grudge against me, Ranma Saotome. It's made
a mess of my life, what with my curse and all my fiancées and
everything else Pops has gotten me into, like the Neko-ken training
(ugh). And now it just ruined my wedding and my chance to get myself
cured. Life hasn't exactly been a cakewalk for me. But hey, I'm Ranma
Saotome. And if you come to Nerima, everyone'll tell you one thing.
Ranma Saotome doesn't lose. Sure, I suffer temporary setbacks, like
when Pig-boy wanders back into town after learning some new technique
from the old ghoul. But in the end, I always win. So that's what I've
got to say to the world, and all it can throw at me. Bring it on. I'm
Ranma Saotome.

Feh.

Pops wakes me up as usual, by dumping a bucket of cold water on me, so
I beat the stuffing out of him before breakfast. Sure, I'm feeling a
little stressed these days, what with the wedding fiasco and all, and
maybe I hit him harder than usual (given the way he stumbles into
breakfast), but it's all the same old routine. Hey, wait a minute,
Pops isn't going after my breakfast like he usually does. Maybe I
really did hit him a bit harder than I thought. Oh well. Not my
problem. The way he's messed up my life lately, he deserves it. Time
to go to school, with my fiancée and almost wife, Akane.

We're still kinda uncomfortable around each other since the whole
wedding business. I mean, were we really gonna get married? Even
thinking about it now kinda scares me. I mean, I was gonna get cured,
and Akane really did look kawaii in her wedding dress, but married?

"Nihao, airen!"

Oh great. Shampoo plows me off the fence with her bicycle again. Ouch.
Well, as I said, the whole married thing gives me the creeps, but I
ain't real happy about Ucch - Ukyo and the Chinese bimbo screwin' it
up like that. Now she's attached to me in her usual Amazon Glomp, and
Akane's doing her Uncute Tomboy death glare. I shove her off.

"Look, Shampoo, I don't really wanna see you after what you did at my
wedding."

"But Shampoo save you from marrying Violent Girl!"

"It's not like I wanted to get married or anything, but throwing bombs
at my wedding was NOT the way to do it. I don't want to marry you
either, so why don't you just go back to China. I can live without any
fiancées. Feh."

There it is again. Feh. Very useful word. Perfect for expressing
disgust at the whole fiancée situation.

Oops. Saotome Foot-in-Mouth technique. I kinda forgot Akane was there
for that last statement.

"Ranma no BAKA!!!!"

I'm off on a one way trip courtesy of Akane Airways. Looks like I'm
gonna land near Dr. Tofu's.

Wait a minute. Why did she send me on that trip? What'd I say? That I
didn't want to get married? She didn't either.

Did she?

Uh oh. That brings up some possibilities I would rather not think
about. Does she like me? Do I like her? What would have happened if we
went through with it? Were those tears in her eyes when she sent me on
this trip?

Feh. Like I'd have married an uncute tomboy like that anyway. It's a
great word for getting around things you don't want to deal with, too.

I land at Dr. Tofu's, and get myself patched up pretty quickly. He
asks me some stuff about Akane, but mostly I just brush it off. Like I
said, I don't wanna deal with it right now.

Since I'm gonna be late for school anyway, I might as well enjoy the
walk there, and spend some effort avoiding cold water while I'm at it.

"Ranma! Die for the dishonor you brought on Akane!"

Well, well, well. If it isn't Pig-boy.

"Look, Ryoga, the damn wedding wasn't my fault. All my fiancées are
the ones who screwed it up."

Ryoga's beyond reasoning, though. He snarls and launches some wild
attacks at me. He just wants to fight.

Fine by me. I've got a bit of pent up aggression to work off anyway.
Besides, I'm Ranma Saotome. He thinks he can beat me in martial arts?
Feh. It's a perfect expression of confidence, too.

I beat up on him a bit and then send him out of town with a
Hiryu-Shorten-Ha. He should be back in a few weeks. His problem. I do
have to get to school eventually.

Surprisingly, there aren't any incidents on the way to school. No old
ladies with water, no sprinklers, no puddles. I get to school fine,
and since I'm so late, there's no Kuno waiting for me to attack me and
attempt to free `the fair Akane Tendo and the Pigtailed Goddess'.

Feh. What an idiot. Still can't figure out who his precious "Pigtailed
Goddess" is. I tell ya, `Feh' has gotta be the best word anyone ever
invented for expressing disgust.

I have to stand in the hallway holding buckets of water. Not a big
deal. Usually I have to do this anyway, and I would have spent this
time asleep if I was in class. It's not as if the buckets are heavy,
unless you hold them straight out for a few weeks. Pops made me do
that once.

Things go pretty quiet until lunch, although Akane does seem to be
avoiding me. Then, while I'm eating, Nabiki shows up.

Uh oh. Nabiki is only dangerous when she has any kind of scheme in her
mind (usually one making her money). The thing about Nabiki is that
she ALWAYS has a scheme in her mind.

"Hey Ranma, I've got a bet for you."

I'm in serious trouble here. "No way."

"Oh? Then you won't mind me selling these, will you?" She pulls out
some pictures.

Of me in female form. Naked.

Damn.

I sigh defeatedly. "All right, Nabiki, whaddaya want?"

"A simple bet. If you win, I destroy these, the copies, and the film.
If you lose, you have to pose for more."

"What's the bet?"

"Simple. I challenge you to declare your true feelings to Akane this
afternoon, before you two get home."

She said it. The magic word. Challenge. No way I can turn this down
now.

"Oh, is that all? You might as well destroy those now. I've as good as
won. Feh."

"Sure you have..." She walks away, smiling.

Oh hell. What did I just get myself into? How do I feel about Akane
really. Feh won't save me this time.

She's uncute, she's a tomboy, she's... oh, might as well admit it to
myself. She's cute when she's mad, she's gorgeous when she smiles,
she's... Akane. And I'm in love with her.

There. I said it. Now I just need to say it to her.

Why do I get myself into these situations?

After school, I can't find Akane. This is not good. I race back as
fast as I can to the Tendo Dojo, but she's not there. I try the next
most likely place. The park.

Bingo. Unfortunately, she's sitting at the edge of the pond, crying. I
think it might have been my fault. I'm starting to feel bad already.

This is not a good way to start this.

"Akane?"

"Go away, Ranma. You don't want to be around me anyway. You said so
yourself. Just leave me alone."

As I said, this is not good. "Akane, I never said that."

"Yes you did. This morning."

"Akane, I said I didn't want to get married. I don't. I'm too young.
So are you. We're not ready for it."

Whoa. Where did that come from? I think I just saved my ass there. I
really can't stand seeing Akane cry.

She looked up at me with pain-filled eyes. "But if we were old enough,
Ranma, what would you say then? Would you want to marry me?"

Oh shit. "I..."

I can't say it. Looking into her eyes, I can't say it.

An expression of deep pain crosses her features. "You... you... just
get away from me!" She jumps up and runs, crying uncontrollably.

Before I know what I'm doing, I jump up after her, spin her around and
cup her face with my hands. "Akane... I love you."

Oh. My. God.

I said it.

At first she looks like she doesn't believe it. Then an expression of
wonder crosses her features. "You - you mean it?"

"Yes. I love you."

Suddenly she's hugging me harder than Shampoo ever did. And then she
says the words that make this the best day of my life.

"Ranma - I love you too."

And then we kiss. I can't describe it in words, so I'll just leave it
to the imagination. The first real kiss of my life with the love of my
life. I don't think this could possibly get any better. We stand
there, arms wrapped around each other, kissing, not caring about the
stares and giggles of passers-by.

You thought I couldn't do it, didn't you. You thought that after all
these years, Ranma Saotome still didn't have what it took to win in
the game of life and love. Well, I showed you and Nabiki both. I told
Akane that I love her, and she loves me back. So I've got a lot to
express to you both, but I'm too wrapped up in Akane to waste much
time on it.

So I'll use the word they made for situations like this. You bet
against Ranma Saotome. You lost.

Feh.

End.

Romance, WAFF, a little bit of humor, a little bit of angst and a good
healthy dosage of `Feh'. Good combo, neh? Review, please. Extra
comments, interested in prereading my other stories, random babbling,
send to [1]mlamdin@hotmail.com. Hope you liked it.

References

1. mailto:mlamdin@hotmail.com