Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ A Very Scary Bet ❯ It's the end of the world as we know it ( Chapter 5 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
A Very Scary Bet: Chapter 5 rough/partial
It's The End Of The World As We Know It (and I feel fine...)
OR
Over The Meadows & Through The Looking-glass...
Note: Applicable disclaimers apply.
This crossover was planned a *long* time ago and many other projects have kept me from putting this out. The contents here occur simultaneously with Chapter 17 of Mirrors Multiplied.
"The Enemy Of My Enemy Is A Potential Customer."
"The Art of War Merchandising", Liu Shih Kang
"Time moves at different rates in different universes. This is the origin of those stories of spending a single night in the Faerie Realm and arriving up twenty years later in your own world. The Relative Temporal Rate can even have a negative value, which can really muck things up."
"D-hopper Mk 3.2 User's Guide"
Elsewhere---------
Far away, as such things are measured, a young man named Ranma Saotome was living under the ancient curse of living in interesting times. He had been bounced from one universe to another, up and down time, and into situations that would have crushed lesser folk.
He had even indirectly precipitated the pressing of a certain button by a certain Valkyrie marking a sudden breakout of a certain war between two places known as Heaven and Hell.
It was another basic rule of the Universe: Stuff Happened.
Universe AVSB----------
Everyone who was there was there. The invitations had gone out, and nearly everyone invited had shown up. Their reactions had been a bit different upon seeing the workbots STILL using lasers to fuse hastily dug corridors.
Still, it was a "labwarming" party so the people invited fell into two categories. The scientifically inclined and the mainly bored.
Washu had done Ranma an enormous service by leaving Mihoshi at home. Kiyone, on the other hand, was making business contacts with the man known as Brigadier Alistair Lethbridge Stewart, one of the "high-ups" of a local policing agency as she understood it.
Ami Mizuno, girl genius with dreams of being a physician, had gotten over her initial shyness and was chatting comfortably with a bespectacled "treasure hunter" named Gina Diggers.
A fellow with the name of Keiichi Morisato was moping around by the technical readouts because his girlfriend had been unexpectedly called away by business.
Ken Masters was dealing with an uncomfortable amount of attention from his fellow student in the Fierce Dragon style, Akane Tendo.
Nabiki was flitting about like a social gadfly, and wherever she turned was someone connected to the rich and powerful. Or else they were rich. Or else they were so powerful that rich was inconsequential to them.
Kasumi was helping to serve drinks.
Shampoo was demonstrating the joys of power armor to an envious Makoto Kino and Minako Aino.
Ranma and a fellow named Tenchi were comparing notes about the problems associated with having multiple girls after you as a marriage prospect.
Ranma forgot all about his current problems as the displays on his computers changed. "Oh dear."
"What's up, m'boy?" The British gadgeteer known as Q wrenched his interest away from the fascinating weapon hooked into the undercarriage of the heavily armed recreational vehicle.
Washu blinked as she read the screens. "Oh dear," she seconded.
"Excuse me, people, we're gonna have to cut the party short."
Brigadier Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart frowned ever so slightly. "What's up?"
"Heaven's just declared Ragnorak. Armaggedon. Whatever you want to call it. Requesting confirmation." Ranma input a trace routine.
"Oh, it's confirmed, Mister Saotome." A woman appeared out of nowhere and smiled as she noted the various people in the room. "Good, you're all here. Sorry to break into your little labwarming party but the choice of time wasn't mine. My name is Nike, due to the different time rates between Earths I can only stay a little while. I'm setting up an informational downlink with the Yggdrasil system and your computers."
For some reason, nobody doubted her. They knew in their hearts that the Trump had been sounded.
"Oh-kay," Akane said from where she had been monopolizing Ken's attention. "So, if it's Armaggedon, it's our duty as martial artists to help protect the innocent."
"Hmmm," Nabiki hmmed. Apocalypse didn't sound like fun to her, but she knew which side that she wanted to win. Therefore... . "I doubt I'll be much help, but count me in."
"You can count on, er, never mind." Ami's voice trailed off.
"Ami, actually you COULD help, and your friends." Ranma's eyes narrowed and he grinned at the goddess. "If Nike here can help us with transport, there's a timeline I visited... and Wasshu, I could really use access to your technology. It's light years ahead of my stuff..."
Wasshu smiled a little in return. "Centuries, actually. Nobody said it had to be a LOW tech war, did they? But could you do me a favor..."
Ranma nodded. "If I can."
"Call me LITTLE Washu!"
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Elsewhere:
Sirens blared as the Heavens moved.
The Rival Relief Office was shut down and the various misfits being shoved into other forces. Kitchiri briefly was moved to the Goddess Relief Office before ending up in Sanitation. Mambo Jack was briefly in the einherjar, but quickly moved to a gun turret as far away from the Valkyries as was possible.
The drow mage Edema was assaulted by a fellow named Ares, and when the dust settled she had a spike heeled shoe planted on his back and whip wrapped around his neck.
A reluctant incubus found himself in charge of people so incompetent that they couldn't even have gotten jobs with the Rival Relief Office.
Kimiko Tendo received a battlefield promotion to Valkyrie Trainee for the duration of the emergency.
Frey got ready to lead a Heavenly Host onto the mortal plane to deal with the mortal who had dared declare Ragnarock early. Nobody, after all, likes having a death sentence arrive while you're trying to kick back, relax, and cuddle with your favorite romantic interest. Or, in Heimdall's case, interrupt a serious night of beer and skittles.
Various forces of evil also got the call.
Marller hoped that if she couldn't deal with that goody two-shoes Keiichi that she could at least beat the snot out of Urd.
Godzilla snorted, sniffed the air, and thought briefly about the possibility of visiting somewhere else than Tokyo. After all, if you ate there you were hungry again an hour later.
------------------------
a universe with a much higher temporal rate:
"Nuku Nuku want to help Papa!"
"I'm kind of busy with this, why don't you see if you can go help Mizuno-san over there."
"'KAY!!! Wai wai! I get to help Ami-chan!" The android girl ran to where a short haired girl was in the messhall going through manuals with her friends. Except for that Usagi-chan who seemed to be more interested in trying to find some food in the kitchen that *didn't* need to be thrown out an airlock.
"I'm sorry Nuku Nuku, but I'm trying to figure this out. Maybe Washu?"
"Oh," said the catgirl android with a momentary pout. "Uhm."
"She's on the main bridge," said Makoto, wrestling with her own tech manual.
"Environmental systems extended to all decks," came a voice from the intercom that everyone recognized as belonging to that nice Morisato fellow. "If someone can lend me a hand I can get to work on the power couplings that were severed on Deck Five."
Nuku nuku twitched. "Wai. Keiichi-san needs help. Wai!" Zooom.
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on the bridge:
"So... Washuu's workbots are fixing the outer hull?"
"Actually, those are *my* workbots. The metal extruders and fabricators and materials are courtesy of Little Washuu."
The Brigadier nodded as if he actually understood that. "So how long is this going to take?"
"The hull work and interior decks should be done in six hours local time, which is two minutes on the Heaven plane or one hour on our home plane." Ranma looked up from his calculations at the resulting chorus of groans. "We do have some other things that need to be resolved in the meantime."
"Ah, yes?"
"Does anyone know where we can get some really good fighters? We'll have to go to melee at some point, and there's a number of fighter ships that Washu and I can get our hands on if I can remember the temporal and spatial coordinates."
"What kind of fighters?" Q looked at the Brigadier who shrugged. "I would rather think that Her Majesty's Secret Service will be rather busy on the home front."
"Likewise the various UNIT forces, though I think there are a few agents hanging about in Japan we could probably get."
"Well, a few that can handle high tech equipment would be good. What we could especially use are hand-to-hand fighters. Preferably ones that don't require a lot of support. Most of the Helcrew will be using claws, talons, fangs, chi blasts, things like that. Marines, maybe some power armor troops and the like."
"Airen?" Shampoo looked up from cleaning her weapons.
"Well, I think I can get Ryu, maybe Chun Li. Blanka would *love* this setup." Ken started to shrug but realized Akane was still clinging to his arm for some strange reason. Maybe she was cold.
"Airen?" Shampoo set her weapons down and turned her Cute Look on at Full.
"Well, heck, Nerima's full of martial artists, oh yeah. Never mind. They'd never cooperate as a group." Akane shrugged from where she'd all but grafted herself onto a muscular arm. "It's not like you can go to a martial arts dojo and say 'Hey, we're going to a staging ground where we're going to sacrifice ourselves to give the Multiverse a few more minutes to prepare for Armaggedon. Wanna come?' I just don't think that'll fly."
"Airen?" Bounce, bounce. Shampoo waved both hands over her head.
"Uhm, yes, Shampoo?"
"Shampoo know where get many skilled and good fighters!"
"I thought she was asking where the bathroom was," mumbled the Brigadier after a moment.
Q managed to uncross his eyes after watching Shampoo bounce around for a minute. He was old, that didn't mean he was dead.
Vanilla looked up from the manual she was reading. "If they not come at request, I talk to Elder. They will follow Champion into battle."
"Hey, and Felicity and Honda are in Japan, so's Talbain and Frank, I think!" Ken grinned at the thought. "I think we may have enough marines..."
"Maybe, let's see."
----------------------------
"Queen Beryl, a new development!"
"This *better* be good news to interrupt me at such a crucial time, Jedite!"
"You can always tape record 'Heavy Metal L-Gaim II' and watch it later. Besides, it's a dumb series. I have news about the Senshi!"
FOOOMMMM!
The various other generals and youma looked at the smoking boots where Jedite had been standing a moment ago.
"Does anyone ELSE want to waste my time with this sort of nonsense?"
Queen Beryl sat back on her sofa, lifted a large bag of popcorn (extra buttery) and mused over the events onscreen. Why couldn't SHE get some giant robots like that? Then she'd have the pleasure of squishing the Senshi underfoot...
Beryl snapped her fingers and gave the appropriate orders. And she'd have a better color scheme than some tacky all-white robot.
-----------------------------
The ship hung over their heads, adequate indication that the group was not delusional.
"We don't have time for debate or argument. Any who want to go with us to the frontline of the battle, get aboard the shuttle. We have to be there within a few minutes so we have to go NOW." Ranma looked around at the curious men and women standing around the plaza. "I won't lie to you. If the battle DOES occur, I expect that even if we get enough people to accomplish our objectives, we'll be annihilated from sheer numbers. This is a war with no prisoners taken, no quarter, and the other side will break any rules of engagement as soon as it is convenient. Anyone who still wants to help us fight the Forces of Evil, get to that shuttle there..."
Ranma blinked as the plaza emptied and what seemed to be hundreds of Amazons tried to get on a shuttle designed to carry a dozen.
"Told you," said Shampoo smugly.
"Have to make several trips," agreed Vanilla.
Cologne made a trip to her hut and grabbed up a few items, just in case.
--------------------------
The Wizard of "Spells R Us" noted the severed bits of spell and curse and thought briefly about going after them again. No, he had enough of this mess. The truly good or the truly evil were generally off limits to him anyway.
Still, he could have his revenge in an indirect way. A few telephone calls were sufficient to get the ball rolling.
Unicorn's horn, and almost all parts of a dragon, these could be used in a number of ways by a powerful necromancer or alchemist. They were also rare and sought after components.
Of course, it was like getting the heart of a virgin. Taking those components wouldn't leave much of the donor left.
Astral subnode 12, Stepping Stones To Hell-----
A large ship warped in, followed by several others. Ranma had made the most of his time and the differing time rates of various universes. The result was a "ragtag fleet" composed of nearly as much variety as the members of his team.
"Thrusters to station keeping," ordered the nominal Captain, a young lad named Tenchi Masaki. "Uhm. I guess we settle into place and wait for the enemy to show?"
"That's the orders from above," Ami wanted to find a way to transform but so far there hadn't been a chance where they could get a reasonable explanation. The Senshi appearing, fine. Ami and the others DISAPPEARING was the sticky point. In the meantime, it had been agreed to keep their identities secret at least until Ragnorak was underway. Then, during the confusion of battle, they might be able to transform without anyone noticing.
Brigadier Stewart and Q placed bets as to when the young girls would transform.
Cutey Honey, Ai No Senshi, was hoping that her fellow freedom fighters would transform soon. She was hoping to copy their costume and stand beside them as Sailor Cutey. At least as soon as this Kyosuke person finished reconnecting her head.
Keiichi wondered if this had been the emergency Belldandy had been called away for, and would he have a chance to see her again.
"Multiple bogies detected!" Nabiki called from her position at the twin domes of the radar display. "The enemy is approaching. It's official people!"
"Red alert!" Tenchi ordered. "All hands to battle stations."
Aeka sighed and looked longingly at Tenchi. Quite obviously Tenchi was in his element as a prince of Jurai at the moment.
Ryoko looked at the viewscreen and shuddered. She could have seen herself working for THAT side, in which case she'd have had to fight Tenchi. If her old pirate buddies could see her now, working for the good guys, she'd never live it down.
-------------------
Another Ranma rotated his shoulders and started his gladiatorial armor's warmup. Fusion engines the size of watch batteries came online within seconds. The AI automatically adjusted the armor's settings as it went. The armor was a marvel of technology that combined genetic engineering, artifical intelligence, cybernetics, and technologies so advanced that terms had yet to be invented for them in 20th Century languages.
#Multiple bogies detected. Lifeforms unrecognized. Analysis?#
"No, just flag the unrecognized as enemies," Ranma sighed. Another battle. Yet another fight. Still it was familiar enough and he knew he was losing on a completely different front. Kasumi was to marry Tofu, and it looked as if Nabiki would never get around to noticing the helpful friendly presence he'd provided her during this journey. Neither Ukyo or Shampoo had time for him any more. "All the ones with batwings and life energy readings in the dark signature range. Note the others behind and around me as being allies."
#Working. Done. Scenario objective?#
"Termination of bad guys/enemies," Ranma paused a moment. "Begin combat analysis subroutines on System 2. Link to that big ship there on System 3, coordinate strikes and monitor transmissions. Designate that as home base for scenario purposes. The hover Winnebago is secondary base. Use Systems 4 through 6 to monitor nearby allies and compensate for their positions. System 7 to oversee and maintain other Systems. System 1 to cyberlink. Activate."
Ranma's awareness expanded as the link was forged.
#Currently mark 650,251 bogies designated Enemy. Currently mark 12,500 marked as Ally. Multiple unknown lifeform types noted on either side. Shall I deploy the Doomsday Protocols?#
"Actually, that would be very appropriate. Password Tango Alpha Delta Alpha."
#Confirm?#
"Confirmation code C'ath."
#Doomsday protocols active. Reminder that some weapon systems dangerous to nearby allies.#
Ranma glanced at one of the "asteroids" floating nearby in this Astral Space. A version of himself, he'd heard. Cursed to turn into a sabretooth tiger. The other Ranma's world's Shampoo with a horse-sword was riding the tiger, all metaphors aside. Certainly here was enough motive for him to personally take a hand. Here was another version of himself who had found what he was afraid he never would. Love. Such a rare and precious thing, too often undervalued.
"Then let's start now. Target enemy force, wide dispersal." Ranma held his hands up. "SINGULARITY BOMBARDMENT!"
Thousands of microscopic blackholes formed. They evaporated in less than thirty seconds. Even travelling at speeds in excess of .5c some couldn't reach their targets in time. Unfortunately for those in the way of the remainder, they went through armor and flesh and chiton rather easily. Gravitic disruption of tissues and electrical systems occurred.
#Warning. Highest concentration of negative life energies located at 30,30. Distance nine hundred ninety seven point six three eight klicks. Current course and speed places intercept with main base at two minutes forty seven seconds. Action required.#
"Shunt all available system power to augmenting ki attack. Keyword Big Bang."
#Warning. This will deplete system power dangerously. Require authorization.#
"Authorization code 'Who wants to live forever?'"
#Accepted. Unit will need to shut down after firing. It was nice knowing you, Ranma.#
Ranma blinked. The AI was apparently more sophisticated than he had thought. If so, it had kept it a secret for decades. "Gathering ki. Seconds to fire?"
#Seventy five, seventy four, seventy three seconds. Disengaging safety interlocks. Seventy. Bringing targetting systems to bear. Sixty.#
Lightning crackled and writhed around Ranma-ft. Large rocks began to lift from the surface of his "asteroid" and float about.
#Forty five seconds. We are fighting on side designated Heaven, correct?#
"Yes, armor."
#Will self go to Heaven if self becomes nonfunctional?#
"I don't know, armor. In a sense, you're alive, so I'd say yes, but I haven't had a chance to explore even what the implications are. In any case, I hope so."
#Self appreciates honesty. It has been a pleasure serving Ranma over years. Five seconds.#
"Big Bang. ATTACK!" Ranma-ft poured a considerable amount of his own energies into the burst, which was multiplied by nine miniature stars.
----------
T-chan shied away as a nearby asteroid liquified and a blast of energy shot across the void into what looked like a black dot quite a distance away.
-----------
"REPORT!" Ranma-av felt the shudder and looked up from the spot welding he was doing.
"Our side just launched a second attack. This one looked like something we'd like to have been able to hit Kain with." Washuu-av sounded intrigued. "That rippling effect was similar to the air slamming into place after being burned away by a lightning bolt produces thunder. Except in this case the blast was powerful enough to burn a hole in the local space/time fabric. The ripple was the 'thunder' of space/time filling the hole. Fascinating."
Ranma-av grimaced at the power output required to do that and finished the weld. "Okay, try the engines now."
"Main engines coming online, temperature within acceptable range," Nabiki's voice reported a moment later.
"Great, I'll try to get the launch bay doors now." Ranma picked up his toolkit and RAN.
Wasshu looked at her own telltales and smiled. "Hey, Captain, how about we fire the main gun before we go to close in combat?"
"Sounds good. How do we do that?" Tenchi wondered aloud. This was nothing like the Jurai treeships.
"Shifting engine power," said Nabiki, her nose in the manual as she turned a switch on the reactor panel, having switched places with Usagi. "Reactor pressure at 25% and climbing."
"Power level at 37 Tetrawatts and climbing?" Ami blinked and reread the display. "37 Tetrawatts is 25% of power capacity?! That would mean 148 Tetrawatts at full?"
"Safety interlocks disengaged. Tachyon fields active. Internal shields on," Nabiki continued to read and work her console at the same time. A sound much like a mechanical heartbeat began to sound through the vessel, the pulse slowly increasing as the gun readied.
"Using manuevering thrusters to aim ship at main group of enemies," Vanilla's quiet voice came from her own console. She consulted her own copy of the manual.
"Why are we moving the ship to shoot a gun?"
"It's a spinal mount, Akane. The gun runs the length of the ship," Nabiki flipped to the relevent pages. "Oh dear."
"Get your sunglasses, people!" Ukyo remembered something from her childhood. She'd been waiting for this moment ever since Ranma had announced they were going to a universe where the Space Battlecruiser Yamato was real and had lost a final battle and was abandoned. Washuu's technology went to work on repairs, and Ranma was still working on systems that Wasshuu had missed. Still, she knew the basic drill.
"Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one."
Ukyo wasn't the only one to see an episode of "Uchan Seikan Yamato." With a certain girlish glee, Rei Hino pulled the trigger. "Ha- SHA!"
Ami had been reading the display wrong. It wasn't tetrawatts. A tachyon engine's full power output was channelled in the equivelant of a sun's total output for 1.48 minutes. This blast left the chamber at the prow of the ship and went in the direction the ship had been aimed.
Multiton hunks of rock and nickel-iron lying in the path of the blast turned to component particles without making an appreciable loss of power. This and the vaporized space dust formed lightning flashes along the length of the blast.
"Bringing systems back online," was Vanilla's only reaction.
"What the blazes WAS that?" Akane blinked behind her mirrorshades. "Did we get 'em?"
--------------------------------
Ranma-ft lowered his TK shield. "Status report."
#Systems at 15% power. Current enemy numbers down to 124,312. Main base is currently launching spacefighters and bioforms. Ship type unknown. Bioform type unknown. Systems shutting...#
Ranma-ft touched the breastplate of his armor. "I have one task left before total shutdown. I need my longrange weapons."
#...active...#
Ranma-ft looked a little sad as he took off the inert armor and picked up the weapons. The armor had been with him, though constantly upgraded, for over thirty years. "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
--------------------------------
"Black Tiger squadron, MOVE OUT!" A dozen jet-like vehicles poured out of the hatchway like angry wasps leaving the hive.
"-Nichieju detachment, power armors, LET'S KICK SERIOUS BOOTIE!-" The command was met with a chorus of female cheers and two dozen unmarried Amazons in power armor joined the Black Tiger squadron in the immediate vicinity of their home ship. There was some confusion at first, as their training in using the powerarmor had been five minutes of listening to someone translating a manual from Japanese to Chinese.
With a series of clanks, several other ships were released from the hull of the Yamato.
"Redwing Squadron. Lock and load." Wings were deployed from these recent arrivals. Old Y-Wings that had been repeatedly rebuilt. Newer X-Wings and A-Wings. Almost completely new B-Wings that had only minor patchwork.
"-What did he say?-" Sash was still trying to get used to the idea that this odd space-like environment was a null-space, essentially part of the road to Hell that traffic to and from the Infernal had to use. The counterpart to the Rainbow Bridge of Heaven.
"-He said that if you're still reading the manual, stick to the basic stuff and read faster, Sash.-"
Finally, three sadly outdated Valkyries that had been used in the initial wars against the Zentraedi.
"Shampoo *like* this!" She transformed the ship to gerwalk and back to fighter and then to battloid mode. "Airen listening? Shampoo really really really like this!"
This added to a heavily armed recreational vehicle and three other ships already in the area.
One, a crystalline starship that liked carrots. The second known as the Yagami. The third, a reconditioned Klingon Bird Of Prey that the new owners were still arguing about a name for.
"Yagami to Yamato, do you read?" Kiyone's voice was registering surprise.
"Yamato here. What is it, Kiyone?"
"Tell Washuu I got some interesting data from one of our companion ships down the line. Apparently one group of our otherdimensional selves are trying to kill Ranma."
Everyone on the Yamato froze briefly, trying to imagine TWO Washuus. TWO Kiyones (okay, those two weren't hard.) TWO Mihoshis. (Now *there* the mind boggles.)
--------------------------
Ranma-ft used a telepathic broadcast since his armor was still inert. "Commander Yamato, this is Gladiator."
"Uhm, go ahead, Gladiator?"
"The Splugorth's MINE!"
"Hang on, we're getting a signal." Tenchi watched as one seriously powerful Ranma shot from the remains of one of the hanging rocks to an intercept course for the main group.
"Confirmed," murmurred Kasumi from the communications console. "Tenchi! The war's been called off."
"HUH!?" The comment reverberated from up and down the line as people who had been steeling themselves to fight their last battle and buy time for the rest of the Multiverse suddenly tried to cope with the idea that their necessary sacrifice wasn't needed.
Redwing 8 had a question. "That mean we no can fight?"
"Uhm, sounds like it," conceded Tenchi, though his attitude was completely different.
There was grumbling and disappointment from more than just the Amazons.
"Do this mean Sash can no keep X-Wing?"
"That too," said Tenchi.
A stream of quite unhappy Mandarin from Redwing 4 was cut off by Kasumi a moment later.
--------
"PRAISE BE!" Penitent Souls Division 104, the "Woebegone Wombats" cheered and prepared to go back to life as couch potatos among the Einherar.
A reluctant demon turned VERY reluctant Captain watched the tiny thread of discipline he'd thought he'd managed to get from them disintegrate.
Grey sighed and started gathering up the discarded weapons and armor. He expected that he'd be held accountable for every damn piece.
"Excuse me," came a woman's voice.
"Yeah," Grey managed, his hands full of weapons that most of the Einherar wouldn't touch.
"Your troops seem to have abandoned you," the woman said with a smile.
Grey blinked, he didn't recognize her, and she didn't have either goddess or demon markings as far as he could tell. So this wasn't yet another test by the good guys or temptation by the bad. "Yeah, well, they aren't exactly what you'd call crack troops. Cracked troops, maybe."
"I see." The woman nodded as if this explained everything.
"If they were truly penitent, if they repented their sins of the past, it'd be different. Most of 'em don't even really understand what they're supposed to be doing," Grey explained. "They were too incompetent to be evil, too selfish or petty to be good, and they've all got a lifetime of learning how to justify how they are. None of it is *their* fault, etc, etc. Consumed by petty things, jealousy, pride, things like that. Given enough time, they might get to making a choice and end up either fully in Heaven or in Hell. As it is, if the Powers That Be listened to me, I'd have 'em all involved in a work program. They're not gonna change if all they do is the Couch Potato routine... Just as long as they don't go to work in the Rival Relief Office."
The woman shrugged, noticed that the odd person had dropped a weapon and ran to catch up with him.
Unfortunately, Grey noticed the missing Baseball Bat+1/+4 vs small flying objects, and turned at entirely the wrong moment.
-CRACK!- He *was* still carrying the enchanted mallet Headbasher II.
Noticing that the nice young lady was currently knocked out, Grey couldn't help but wonder how many demerits THIS would be.
Fifteen minutes later, he would learn that she was from a rustic little village in China with some *really* strange laws. (1)
(1)= note that this takes place prior to the events in Skysaber's Choice and Reluctant Bet.
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"Ranma, Shampoo REALLY really like this!"
Everyone on the bridge of the Yamato smirked at the repeated comment from a certain Chinese Amazon over the comm channel. There were even a few snickers and at least one (Akane) guffaw. Though there were a few comments about Ukyo suddenly needing to leave.
"Airen? Did Shampoo mention how MUCH she really really like this? And it have such a nice name - 'Valkyrie'! It only proper for Chinese Amazon to pilot! And it not take THAT much room..."
More snickers as Akane explained that she could just picture Shampoo begging with sparkly eyes if she could keep a puppy.
"... may be needed later. You never know when you might need transforming giant robot. Though Shampoo might want to repaint. Too much primer showing now. Maybe in purple so matches Shampoo's hair... or 'fire engine red' would be nice... Airen? You listen to Shampoo?"
Akane fell off her chair she was laughing so hard, still overcome with the image of the Shampoo she'd met when they were children asking if she could keep a puppy.
"Shampoo need something to replace hoverbike, right Airen?"
"If Shampoo get to keep Valkyrie, Sash want to keep X-wing. Is only fair!"
"Belay that, Red Four," came the squad leader's voice. "Where would you put it? If we kept that thing in the village, the People's Army would be up there to requisition it within a week at least. Not to mention upkeep and maintenance!"
"Airen?" Shampoo's voice went from cutely enthusiastic to concerned. "Airen? Shampoo... Shampoo not mean to..."
"...okay Shampoo..."
At Ranma's mumbled acquiescence, Akane fell off her chair again laughing with an unladylike snort. A withered Amazon Elder joined her.
"Airen sure?! No joke?!"
"Yeah... I suppose I can store it on the Yamato," Ranma said a little more confidently. "These WERE all mothballed or abandoned vehicles. Well except for that Bird Of Prey."
"Stupid crab-heads should no underestimate womans of Amazon tribe. IS SPOIL OF WAR!" That transmission, to no one's surprise, came from the Bird Of Prey. "Stupid Klingons think they only warriors, call me soft and weak! We shows them! Kick thems off own stupid pirate ship! Now is sleek Amazon warship!"
"Airen mean it? Shampoo get to keep Valkyrie?"
Akane stopped chuckling to wait for it.
"...yeah Shampoo... I'll cover it somehow..."
"YATTA! YATTA! SHAMPOO SO HAPPY! SHAMPOO MUCH MUCH *MUCH* LOVE HER AIREN!"
Kasumi turned down the volume of the radio as Shampoo continued to gush while putting her transforming jet through various manuevers.
"As soon as Shampoo gets back, we should Warp back to our home reality, Captain." Ranma's voice sounded somewhat embarassed.
"This could take awhile," said Akane as she watched the mecha go through a barrel roll and end up in battloid form giving twin victory signs.
"Amazon pride is taking a beating today," one of the Amazon Elders said in a weary voice.
"Amazons have pride?" Akane blinked.
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Skuld was in heaven. While being in Heaven was nothing unusual, her residence being the Norn's Grove and her employment at the Goddess Relief Office of Asgard, this was different.
Ragnorak, the Twilight Of The Gods, the End Of All That Is had been postponed. This was, to the thinking of a truly vast number of beings, a Good Thing. This, however,was not the reason for Skuld developing starry eyes and being surrounded by soft focus lighting.
There had been a great many surprises that had occurred during the brief skirmish, which had made the other side anxious to break off their battle just as much as the Heavenly Forces had. Just the fact that a recently apotheosized Japanese goddess of Spring & Renewal had managed to get the Fenris Wolf (not to be confused with Fenrir, who had been an aspect of the Ultimate Destruction Program) to switch sides had caused a large number of the Infernals to make a Reality Check.
This also was not why Skuld was currently floating six inches above the floor and beyond noticing.
"You got the readings?" Skuld's grin was nearly electric.
The Sailor Mercury of a timeline where she was VERY interested in one Ranma Saotome (not that she'd interfere in Rae's happiness) nodded. "Some of the details were too covered by the armor or force fields, but I've got some technical blueprints and details."
Skuld giggled as she looked at the display that Sailor Mercury of HER universe was indicating. The group that had been mobilized from a dozen different timelines to converge on an area of Nullspace had been motley to say the least. THAT Ranma had been some sort of friendly mad scientist type, and had scoured the higher speed timelines for things that could slow the advance of the Infernal Army.
X-wings, Y-wings, Valkyries (the transforming mecha) piloted by Amazons, Mospeada battlearmor worn by real valkyries, Ultimax Power Armor, Gundam units, and other strange designs.
Not to mention a hotwired Klingon Bird Of Prey, the SpaceCruiser Yamato (though half the combatants even in the battle had kept calling it the Argo - resulting in several fistfights after the declaration that Ragnorak had been postponed), and the most heavily armed recreational vehicle Skuld had ever seen.
Skuld watched the blueprints forming on the display of the Mercury computer and suppressed a shiver of ecstacy.
She wondered if the Saotomes that Belldandy was staying with would terribly mind if she borrowed their drydock facilities...
----
Gim regarded the elf and the human and made a hmmphing noise as he went off to find
Heimdahl or Thor and buy 'em a round.
Parn gathered Deedlit into his arms, two einherjar just glad to be back together, one of several such islands in the sea of returning soldiers.
-----
Shampoo was grinning so much it hurt, but she couldn't stop herself. This was the PERFECT war vehicle for an Amazon! Fast, sleek, deadly, much like Shampoo herself. OK, it needed some work. The lateral thrusters were a bit sluggish, there was primer showing all over the vehicle, she WANTED a laser sword or similar weapon, but all those could be fixed later.
One button down, the ship was a fast jet that could get you to the combat scene quickly. Very important, as one could miss out on a good fight if your ship was too slow. Push down one of the other buttons, and the jet had leg-like thrusters and was ideal for VTOL and lower speed dogfights. Push down the final configuration button, and one had a giant robot capable of infantry battles and employing the martial arts talents of its pilot!
Okay, it wouldn't do for heavy fighting, the armor was WAY too light for that sort of thing. And for covert operations, the Valkyrie was *not* an option.
Shampoo thought back to when Ranma had been travelling with the Doctor and her, and he had bought her a funny little knife. She had carried that thing *everywhere* until they were thrown in jail on that one planet and the knife had been confiscated. It had a screwdriver and a pair of tweezers and a funny thing called a corkscrew, and a dozen other little tools. It had done a little of everything but none absolutely well. The Valkyrie was a little like that. (Though for some reason a lot of people kept calling it a Veritech...)
Shampoo pouted momentarily at the memory. She and Ranma had been thrown in the same cell. It had been cold and the lighting dim, and they'd cuddled up together for warmth. She could remember Ranma's breath warming her cheek as they'd held each other close and how hypnotically she'd been drawn in- homing in on that breath for a passionate kiss that would have outshone the sun! Except, of course, that was when the Doctor had rescued them.
Shampoo had never come closer to strangling the Doctor with his own scarf than on that occasion.
And shortly after that had come the time that the Master had locked her mind in some control, how she had gleefully pounded and pounded on Ranma, all the while some little corner of her mind had wailed and cried in shame. And a promising relationship, one that could have lived in romantic legends to inspire other couples, and been pointed to as a Fated Couple, had gone down in flames.
Shampoo made a note that if she spotted the Master's dead shade over on the Hell side, she'd launch a fragmentation missile. And hoped it HURT.
Still, Ranma had given her the Valkyrie. Maybe, just maybe, she still had a chance.
---------
Ukyo piloted the small vessel, something called a "do-bee" and tried to reach the Yamato quickly. No one had missed her, other than Ranma briefly asking about her and told by Nabiki that Ukyo was checking welds.
No, what Ukyo was doing was FAR more ambitious. Taking a workpod from the Yamato to make a scan of some of the other troops. She'd heard a few comments about getting scans, and she'd taken it upon herself. Who else could be spared if the truce failed to hold? Her combat talents were minimal compared to the others. She had a bit of the Anything Goes, but her own training was mainly in her family's style of okonomiyaki martial arts.
She wasn't as familiar with this tech stuff as Shampoo, not as exotic as Vanilla, not as fierce as Akane, as beautiful as Kasumi, as clever as Nabiki, as smart as Ami, or as graceful as Makoto. How was she to compete?
She'd left the travels with Ranma and company to return home and study her family's martial arts, and mainly not even did that. Her main skills were in okonomiyaki, and Ukyo had to admit she did *nothing* else very well. It had been enough for her father, but for THIS crowd? She was a "one trick wonder" without anything else to recommend her, and this had been painfully brought home with the outfitting of the Yamato.
The Ranma that she'd repeatedly saved from the teasing of Kodachi and Akane had changed. The sometimes-dragon she'd declared "pals forever" with was now working on hyperdrive motivators and deflector arrays. He'd changed but she could see the old Ranma in the face of the new.
Ukyo closed her eyes to picture that long-ago Ranma. The little boy she'd fallen in love with and had never fallen OUT of love with. Sitting on a bench in the park, scarfing freshly made okonomiyaki and making little bits of small talk.
A buzzing noise filled the do-bee, causing Ukyo to wake from her reverie. She'd overshot the Yamato. She pulled back on the control, making another pass.
The Yamato blurred, shimmered, and faded from view.
"AAAAAHHHHH!" Ukyo slapped controls to increase the speed. She hadn't told anyone that she was going! It was just a short trip to scan that big gadget over there! "Don't leave!"
The Yamato vanished, all the fighters either being stowed away or physically linked to the ship at the time.
Ukyo's ship, barely big enough for her to stand up in, got caught in the wake. When she finally got the tumbling arrested, Ukyo looked out at a starfield and a big blue and white globe hanging in the sky. "No..."
There was no sign of the Yamato or any of the ships. No stepping stones to Hel, no odd gizmos, none of the other troops. As far as she could tell, Ukyo was alone.
She hit the broadcast button. "Ranma, can you hear me? Shampoo? Nabiki? Kasumi? Someone?Anyone? Help..."
-----------
"Base to Poison One."
Arisa punched the microphone button. "Poison One, we read you Base."
"Arisa, check NNE, we're picking up an unusual broadcast and multiple bogies."
Kyouko stepped into the cockpit to slap her fist against an open palm. "Maybe it's the bimbo-droid! We can get her at last with the newest upgrades to Poison One."
"Base, this is Poison One. Picking up twelve smaller blips. Two medium. One extra-large. That what you got?"
"Not a glitch on our end, then. Good. The big one's moving too slow to be a plane, must be some kind of extra-large blimp. The smaller ones might be helicopters, otherwise they're moving too slow for conventional aircraft. Lady Akiko suggests you be careful with Poison One as your paychecks are already in hock."
Arisa and Kyouko sweatdropped at the reminder.
"H-hai, reading you crystal clear." Arisa cleared her throat nervously.
"We can handle some crummy blimps, don't be such a worry wart," Kyouko was feeling especially gung-ho today. With the new anti-dragon missiles and targetting system, just let that monster show up!
"Dial to channel 34 on your radio," advised Base. "You'll see what I mean. It's coming from that group."
Arisa did and the two listened for a moment.
Kyouko ventured a guess. "Someone's skinning a cat?"
"It's the 'Ride Of The Valkyries' but played on electric guitars from the sound of it." Arisa frowned. "What the heck? Hey, I'll try a telescopic magnification on the group... oh. my. sweet. kami."
"AAAHHH! How come they have bigger guns than we do!" Kyouko suffered from big gun envy, a chronic problem with technologically oriented anime villains and their hirelings.
----------
Katsushiko blinked and looked up out of his office window as a cloud or something eclipsed the sun. Then he fainted.
All over Tokyo, people fainted, people stopped what they were doing and stared, or just (with the aplomb worthy of a Japanese) shrugged and assumed it was someone else's problem before continuing on with their work.
In the streets below, one man wept as he saw it/them go by. "How's THAT for national pride!" And immediately started singing the theme from "Ucchan Senkan Yamato" (end lyrics from the final movie). And another took it up by the second verse, the effect continuing to spread until the sound echoed off the concrete and steel canyons of Shinjuku. Thousands of voices raised as those who had the guilty pleasure of fond rememberance of the series came out of the closet.
The media would later report that it was all a mass hallucination. That didn't keep those involved from fondly remembering the scene and treasuring their hidden snapshots.
-------------
"Hi, this is DJ Bill and you're speaking to the Heart of Japanese Classic Rock!"
"Let Shampoo speak! Hello? Shampoo would like to hear 'Born to be wild' by 'Steppenwolf' and please to CRANK IT UP!"
"You got it, Shampoo-san! But before we do that, we've got some weird calls coming in. Folks, stop trying to pull DJ Bill's chain here. UFOs are just CIA conspiracy plots. Now, on with the music!"
-------------
Arisa stared as the Space Battlecruiser Yamato moved forward, attended by a swarm of what could only be fighters.
Kyouko's reaction was a little different. "TARGETS! LOTS AND LOTS OF TARGETS!"
Arisa whimpered deep in her throat as Kyouko stroked firing controls to unleash dozens of missiles on this bonanza of targets.
--------------
Nabiki couldn't believe it, but gave the alert anyway. "WARNING. MISSILE LOCKS ACTIVE."
"All ships. Fire once and once only. Target the incoming missiles. Volley one. MARK!" Tenchi was vaguely familiar with the vehicles and their capabilities.
All ships fired once. With two exceptions.
"How dare you attack my precious X-wing with your stupid missiles! DIE! diediediediedie! Eat hot photons you stupid ugly helicopter thing! And your mama designed you funny! And your colors are worse than a sentai team! Bwahahahahaha!"
Tenchi hit the intercom. "Ranma, you ARE going to put some safety override's on Sash's Xwing, aren't you?"
Ranma considered from his position in the engine room. "Well, at least she isn't using..."
*BOOM!*
"Was that a proton torpedo?"
"Yup."
"Where's the Bird Of Prey?"
"Snagged the pilot's parachutes and is en route to Yokohama Harbor from the look of it." Tenchi hung his head. He was just glad Ryo-oh-ki and Ryoko hadn't gotten involved.
"Once we stash things underground and you're back in Okayama, we ought to be fine."
"You hope."
"Tenchi, my friend. I PRAY."
--------
Two decks down, there was a father and daughter talk going on. Sort of.
"Nuku Nuku is Ranma's fiancee?" Nuku Nuku blinked. "What is 'fiancee', Papa-san?"
Thinking of some of the things he'd seen, Kyusaku Natsume considered. "It means that now that Ryunosuke doesn't need you, and Akiko is a bit... hostile still, you'll need to belong to someone. In my wisdom, I prepared for just such an eventuality."
"Akiko san gets along with Nuku Nuku," Nuku Nuku said and paused, "except..."
"Except one week a month. Trust me, I know. Oh dear Lord do I know." Kyusaku grimaced. "If nothing else this gets you out of the house during those times."
Nuku Nuku happily nodded. She had new friends! And whatever a fiancee was.
----
Ukyo closed her eyes. The little workpod wasn't big or particularly aerodynamic, it had been designed for work in deep space. The life support systems could last for twelve hours before she had to dock with a ship or station. The sensor suite, the reason she had picked this particular vehicle, had excellent range and sensitivity. The thrusters, on the other hand, were strictly for short distances and not terribly great speed.
Therefore, the large blue-green world that was filling most of her field of vision was deemed NOT a good thing. That her speed was increasing despite having the thrusters in full reverse was easily determined as the workpod had come off the Yamato and therefore all the instruments were in Japanese.
The young businesswoman sat on the floor after a few minutes and just stared at the wall. She'd spent years fantasizing about Ranma and becoming the best okonomiyaki chef in the world. She was a good martial artist too, though she'd never had Akane's drive for violence or Kasumi's incredible talent for the Art.
She listened to the warning bleeps and just tuned them out after a moment, remembering all the times she'd rescued her Ran-chan from Akane or Kodachi when they had all been kids. The time the two of them had been stuck in the well, or thrown in the dungeon, or...
Ukyo gave a short laugh as the workpod shuddered a bit more violently. What could Ranma have seen in her anyway? She'd spent years mastering okonomiyaki, and had become a decent martial artist. The problem was that Ranma was surrounded by girls that outshone her completely. There were better fighters, better cooks (though not in okonomiyaki at least), others who understood all this high tech better, girls who were stronger or cuter or were exotic.
Ukyo smelled something burning and could hear the squawk of a fire alarm going off. She wondered if Ranma had even noticed her being missing. Doubtful that he'd notice until after he'd gotten the Amazons under control. By which time she'd have long been ash blown on the wind. He'd notice, and then what? Would he ever know what had happened? She didn't doubt that he'd care but with so many women around him, he'd get over her quickly.
"Oh, Ranma, if only I could have..."
The ship coming to an abrupt halt was enough to startle her, but when she saw the ship that was pulling her ship into its hold she realized that she might have been better off burning up in re-entry.
-----
Ranma grumbled about all the extra work but wasn't THAT unhappy about it. Tenchi stuck around briefly, then retired with HIS girls, though he'd at least found someone in similar straits and promised to keep in touch. Nuku Nuku announced that she was his fiancee, and made the understandable mistake of asking Ranma's mother what a fiancee was. She was now undergoing bridal training.
Something Ranma had noticed about a LOT of the couples, once they'd gotten the idea that they had gotten a reprieve from Meaningful But Certain Death, they'd gotten together and found quiet little places to express their appreciation of that continued existence.
Which meant that there were quite a few lime scenes going on, or at least serious cuddling. He wasn't sure what was going on with Belldandy and Keiichi, except that Belldandy's sister Urd had a satisfied smile and had stated that this might take awhile.
There were other groups getting together. That Usagi and her boyfriend Mamoru were clearly visible at the prow of the Yamato, just leaning together and quietly talking.
Others were apparently exchanging contact information for more practical reasons. Each of the various groups had their own enemies, after all, and often found themselves in dire straits. How handy it would be (for example) if the Sailor Senshi found themselves up against a major villain, if they could call up and get reinforcements from one of the OTHER groups.
Both Q and the Brigadier were helping, apparently someone had gotten an idea from an old gaijin television series called "Mission Impossible" that the two were trying to get going. Where certain heroes could be called up when their interests and duties overlapped to form a team of complimentary strengths.
Cutey Honey was quick to seize on this concept, especially as going it alone had ended up with her literally in pieces. The Senshi voiced more hesitant acceptance of the idea, though their cats seemed pretty much against it. Urd liked the idea, but stated that she had to clear it with her office and didn't think that it would fly. Q thought that saving the world was in the best interest of Her Majesty's Secret Service, though he'd have to clear it himself. The Brigadier noted that UNIT could be counted on, though they'd have to invest in more layers of security to keep certain secrets safe.
Cologne got an eerie gleam in her eye and muttered a few things about having "proper heroes and heroines" train under her once again. This caused a few people to have reservations about including the Amazons in this idea. A few others who had been picked up during the preparations, including a brooding young man named Akira Fudoh, thought the idea had some appeal but couldn't make any promises. Not that he needed any help that *he* would admit to, of course.
However, all the groups were agreed on one thing. Ranma currently had the best hidden base from which to plan things and store vehicles. Which meant that it was Ranma's responsibility to keep everything up and running.
Hence Ranma's current spate of grumbling. Not that he didn't see the benefits of having supplies available to him, and if the Daleks ever returned the idea of launching a warfleet and giving them a little surprise had a LOT of appeal.
But keeping everything mothballed for an emergency was just so... tedious. ~Hmmm. That's odd.~ "Has anyone seen Ucchan?"
=================
realized this was at 52kb, so cut it here.
This segment crosses over with Mirrors Multiplied at that saga's chapter 17.
It comes before (in Grey's often confusing chronology -time travel can do that) Reluctant Bet, Force Of Impact, and Source Of Pride.
It's The End Of The World As We Know It (and I feel fine...)
OR
Over The Meadows & Through The Looking-glass...
Note: Applicable disclaimers apply.
This crossover was planned a *long* time ago and many other projects have kept me from putting this out. The contents here occur simultaneously with Chapter 17 of Mirrors Multiplied.
"The Enemy Of My Enemy Is A Potential Customer."
"The Art of War Merchandising", Liu Shih Kang
"Time moves at different rates in different universes. This is the origin of those stories of spending a single night in the Faerie Realm and arriving up twenty years later in your own world. The Relative Temporal Rate can even have a negative value, which can really muck things up."
"D-hopper Mk 3.2 User's Guide"
Elsewhere---------
Far away, as such things are measured, a young man named Ranma Saotome was living under the ancient curse of living in interesting times. He had been bounced from one universe to another, up and down time, and into situations that would have crushed lesser folk.
He had even indirectly precipitated the pressing of a certain button by a certain Valkyrie marking a sudden breakout of a certain war between two places known as Heaven and Hell.
It was another basic rule of the Universe: Stuff Happened.
Universe AVSB----------
Everyone who was there was there. The invitations had gone out, and nearly everyone invited had shown up. Their reactions had been a bit different upon seeing the workbots STILL using lasers to fuse hastily dug corridors.
Still, it was a "labwarming" party so the people invited fell into two categories. The scientifically inclined and the mainly bored.
Washu had done Ranma an enormous service by leaving Mihoshi at home. Kiyone, on the other hand, was making business contacts with the man known as Brigadier Alistair Lethbridge Stewart, one of the "high-ups" of a local policing agency as she understood it.
Ami Mizuno, girl genius with dreams of being a physician, had gotten over her initial shyness and was chatting comfortably with a bespectacled "treasure hunter" named Gina Diggers.
A fellow with the name of Keiichi Morisato was moping around by the technical readouts because his girlfriend had been unexpectedly called away by business.
Ken Masters was dealing with an uncomfortable amount of attention from his fellow student in the Fierce Dragon style, Akane Tendo.
Nabiki was flitting about like a social gadfly, and wherever she turned was someone connected to the rich and powerful. Or else they were rich. Or else they were so powerful that rich was inconsequential to them.
Kasumi was helping to serve drinks.
Shampoo was demonstrating the joys of power armor to an envious Makoto Kino and Minako Aino.
Ranma and a fellow named Tenchi were comparing notes about the problems associated with having multiple girls after you as a marriage prospect.
Ranma forgot all about his current problems as the displays on his computers changed. "Oh dear."
"What's up, m'boy?" The British gadgeteer known as Q wrenched his interest away from the fascinating weapon hooked into the undercarriage of the heavily armed recreational vehicle.
Washu blinked as she read the screens. "Oh dear," she seconded.
"Excuse me, people, we're gonna have to cut the party short."
Brigadier Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart frowned ever so slightly. "What's up?"
"Heaven's just declared Ragnorak. Armaggedon. Whatever you want to call it. Requesting confirmation." Ranma input a trace routine.
"Oh, it's confirmed, Mister Saotome." A woman appeared out of nowhere and smiled as she noted the various people in the room. "Good, you're all here. Sorry to break into your little labwarming party but the choice of time wasn't mine. My name is Nike, due to the different time rates between Earths I can only stay a little while. I'm setting up an informational downlink with the Yggdrasil system and your computers."
For some reason, nobody doubted her. They knew in their hearts that the Trump had been sounded.
"Oh-kay," Akane said from where she had been monopolizing Ken's attention. "So, if it's Armaggedon, it's our duty as martial artists to help protect the innocent."
"Hmmm," Nabiki hmmed. Apocalypse didn't sound like fun to her, but she knew which side that she wanted to win. Therefore... . "I doubt I'll be much help, but count me in."
"You can count on, er, never mind." Ami's voice trailed off.
"Ami, actually you COULD help, and your friends." Ranma's eyes narrowed and he grinned at the goddess. "If Nike here can help us with transport, there's a timeline I visited... and Wasshu, I could really use access to your technology. It's light years ahead of my stuff..."
Wasshu smiled a little in return. "Centuries, actually. Nobody said it had to be a LOW tech war, did they? But could you do me a favor..."
Ranma nodded. "If I can."
"Call me LITTLE Washu!"
-------------------------------------------------
Elsewhere:
Sirens blared as the Heavens moved.
The Rival Relief Office was shut down and the various misfits being shoved into other forces. Kitchiri briefly was moved to the Goddess Relief Office before ending up in Sanitation. Mambo Jack was briefly in the einherjar, but quickly moved to a gun turret as far away from the Valkyries as was possible.
The drow mage Edema was assaulted by a fellow named Ares, and when the dust settled she had a spike heeled shoe planted on his back and whip wrapped around his neck.
A reluctant incubus found himself in charge of people so incompetent that they couldn't even have gotten jobs with the Rival Relief Office.
Kimiko Tendo received a battlefield promotion to Valkyrie Trainee for the duration of the emergency.
Frey got ready to lead a Heavenly Host onto the mortal plane to deal with the mortal who had dared declare Ragnarock early. Nobody, after all, likes having a death sentence arrive while you're trying to kick back, relax, and cuddle with your favorite romantic interest. Or, in Heimdall's case, interrupt a serious night of beer and skittles.
Various forces of evil also got the call.
Marller hoped that if she couldn't deal with that goody two-shoes Keiichi that she could at least beat the snot out of Urd.
Godzilla snorted, sniffed the air, and thought briefly about the possibility of visiting somewhere else than Tokyo. After all, if you ate there you were hungry again an hour later.
------------------------
a universe with a much higher temporal rate:
"Nuku Nuku want to help Papa!"
"I'm kind of busy with this, why don't you see if you can go help Mizuno-san over there."
"'KAY!!! Wai wai! I get to help Ami-chan!" The android girl ran to where a short haired girl was in the messhall going through manuals with her friends. Except for that Usagi-chan who seemed to be more interested in trying to find some food in the kitchen that *didn't* need to be thrown out an airlock.
"I'm sorry Nuku Nuku, but I'm trying to figure this out. Maybe Washu?"
"Oh," said the catgirl android with a momentary pout. "Uhm."
"She's on the main bridge," said Makoto, wrestling with her own tech manual.
"Environmental systems extended to all decks," came a voice from the intercom that everyone recognized as belonging to that nice Morisato fellow. "If someone can lend me a hand I can get to work on the power couplings that were severed on Deck Five."
Nuku nuku twitched. "Wai. Keiichi-san needs help. Wai!" Zooom.
-------------------------------------------------
on the bridge:
"So... Washuu's workbots are fixing the outer hull?"
"Actually, those are *my* workbots. The metal extruders and fabricators and materials are courtesy of Little Washuu."
The Brigadier nodded as if he actually understood that. "So how long is this going to take?"
"The hull work and interior decks should be done in six hours local time, which is two minutes on the Heaven plane or one hour on our home plane." Ranma looked up from his calculations at the resulting chorus of groans. "We do have some other things that need to be resolved in the meantime."
"Ah, yes?"
"Does anyone know where we can get some really good fighters? We'll have to go to melee at some point, and there's a number of fighter ships that Washu and I can get our hands on if I can remember the temporal and spatial coordinates."
"What kind of fighters?" Q looked at the Brigadier who shrugged. "I would rather think that Her Majesty's Secret Service will be rather busy on the home front."
"Likewise the various UNIT forces, though I think there are a few agents hanging about in Japan we could probably get."
"Well, a few that can handle high tech equipment would be good. What we could especially use are hand-to-hand fighters. Preferably ones that don't require a lot of support. Most of the Helcrew will be using claws, talons, fangs, chi blasts, things like that. Marines, maybe some power armor troops and the like."
"Airen?" Shampoo looked up from cleaning her weapons.
"Well, I think I can get Ryu, maybe Chun Li. Blanka would *love* this setup." Ken started to shrug but realized Akane was still clinging to his arm for some strange reason. Maybe she was cold.
"Airen?" Shampoo set her weapons down and turned her Cute Look on at Full.
"Well, heck, Nerima's full of martial artists, oh yeah. Never mind. They'd never cooperate as a group." Akane shrugged from where she'd all but grafted herself onto a muscular arm. "It's not like you can go to a martial arts dojo and say 'Hey, we're going to a staging ground where we're going to sacrifice ourselves to give the Multiverse a few more minutes to prepare for Armaggedon. Wanna come?' I just don't think that'll fly."
"Airen?" Bounce, bounce. Shampoo waved both hands over her head.
"Uhm, yes, Shampoo?"
"Shampoo know where get many skilled and good fighters!"
"I thought she was asking where the bathroom was," mumbled the Brigadier after a moment.
Q managed to uncross his eyes after watching Shampoo bounce around for a minute. He was old, that didn't mean he was dead.
Vanilla looked up from the manual she was reading. "If they not come at request, I talk to Elder. They will follow Champion into battle."
"Hey, and Felicity and Honda are in Japan, so's Talbain and Frank, I think!" Ken grinned at the thought. "I think we may have enough marines..."
"Maybe, let's see."
----------------------------
"Queen Beryl, a new development!"
"This *better* be good news to interrupt me at such a crucial time, Jedite!"
"You can always tape record 'Heavy Metal L-Gaim II' and watch it later. Besides, it's a dumb series. I have news about the Senshi!"
FOOOMMMM!
The various other generals and youma looked at the smoking boots where Jedite had been standing a moment ago.
"Does anyone ELSE want to waste my time with this sort of nonsense?"
Queen Beryl sat back on her sofa, lifted a large bag of popcorn (extra buttery) and mused over the events onscreen. Why couldn't SHE get some giant robots like that? Then she'd have the pleasure of squishing the Senshi underfoot...
Beryl snapped her fingers and gave the appropriate orders. And she'd have a better color scheme than some tacky all-white robot.
-----------------------------
The ship hung over their heads, adequate indication that the group was not delusional.
"We don't have time for debate or argument. Any who want to go with us to the frontline of the battle, get aboard the shuttle. We have to be there within a few minutes so we have to go NOW." Ranma looked around at the curious men and women standing around the plaza. "I won't lie to you. If the battle DOES occur, I expect that even if we get enough people to accomplish our objectives, we'll be annihilated from sheer numbers. This is a war with no prisoners taken, no quarter, and the other side will break any rules of engagement as soon as it is convenient. Anyone who still wants to help us fight the Forces of Evil, get to that shuttle there..."
Ranma blinked as the plaza emptied and what seemed to be hundreds of Amazons tried to get on a shuttle designed to carry a dozen.
"Told you," said Shampoo smugly.
"Have to make several trips," agreed Vanilla.
Cologne made a trip to her hut and grabbed up a few items, just in case.
--------------------------
The Wizard of "Spells R Us" noted the severed bits of spell and curse and thought briefly about going after them again. No, he had enough of this mess. The truly good or the truly evil were generally off limits to him anyway.
Still, he could have his revenge in an indirect way. A few telephone calls were sufficient to get the ball rolling.
Unicorn's horn, and almost all parts of a dragon, these could be used in a number of ways by a powerful necromancer or alchemist. They were also rare and sought after components.
Of course, it was like getting the heart of a virgin. Taking those components wouldn't leave much of the donor left.
Astral subnode 12, Stepping Stones To Hell-----
A large ship warped in, followed by several others. Ranma had made the most of his time and the differing time rates of various universes. The result was a "ragtag fleet" composed of nearly as much variety as the members of his team.
"Thrusters to station keeping," ordered the nominal Captain, a young lad named Tenchi Masaki. "Uhm. I guess we settle into place and wait for the enemy to show?"
"That's the orders from above," Ami wanted to find a way to transform but so far there hadn't been a chance where they could get a reasonable explanation. The Senshi appearing, fine. Ami and the others DISAPPEARING was the sticky point. In the meantime, it had been agreed to keep their identities secret at least until Ragnorak was underway. Then, during the confusion of battle, they might be able to transform without anyone noticing.
Brigadier Stewart and Q placed bets as to when the young girls would transform.
Cutey Honey, Ai No Senshi, was hoping that her fellow freedom fighters would transform soon. She was hoping to copy their costume and stand beside them as Sailor Cutey. At least as soon as this Kyosuke person finished reconnecting her head.
Keiichi wondered if this had been the emergency Belldandy had been called away for, and would he have a chance to see her again.
"Multiple bogies detected!" Nabiki called from her position at the twin domes of the radar display. "The enemy is approaching. It's official people!"
"Red alert!" Tenchi ordered. "All hands to battle stations."
Aeka sighed and looked longingly at Tenchi. Quite obviously Tenchi was in his element as a prince of Jurai at the moment.
Ryoko looked at the viewscreen and shuddered. She could have seen herself working for THAT side, in which case she'd have had to fight Tenchi. If her old pirate buddies could see her now, working for the good guys, she'd never live it down.
-------------------
Another Ranma rotated his shoulders and started his gladiatorial armor's warmup. Fusion engines the size of watch batteries came online within seconds. The AI automatically adjusted the armor's settings as it went. The armor was a marvel of technology that combined genetic engineering, artifical intelligence, cybernetics, and technologies so advanced that terms had yet to be invented for them in 20th Century languages.
#Multiple bogies detected. Lifeforms unrecognized. Analysis?#
"No, just flag the unrecognized as enemies," Ranma sighed. Another battle. Yet another fight. Still it was familiar enough and he knew he was losing on a completely different front. Kasumi was to marry Tofu, and it looked as if Nabiki would never get around to noticing the helpful friendly presence he'd provided her during this journey. Neither Ukyo or Shampoo had time for him any more. "All the ones with batwings and life energy readings in the dark signature range. Note the others behind and around me as being allies."
#Working. Done. Scenario objective?#
"Termination of bad guys/enemies," Ranma paused a moment. "Begin combat analysis subroutines on System 2. Link to that big ship there on System 3, coordinate strikes and monitor transmissions. Designate that as home base for scenario purposes. The hover Winnebago is secondary base. Use Systems 4 through 6 to monitor nearby allies and compensate for their positions. System 7 to oversee and maintain other Systems. System 1 to cyberlink. Activate."
Ranma's awareness expanded as the link was forged.
#Currently mark 650,251 bogies designated Enemy. Currently mark 12,500 marked as Ally. Multiple unknown lifeform types noted on either side. Shall I deploy the Doomsday Protocols?#
"Actually, that would be very appropriate. Password Tango Alpha Delta Alpha."
#Confirm?#
"Confirmation code C'ath."
#Doomsday protocols active. Reminder that some weapon systems dangerous to nearby allies.#
Ranma glanced at one of the "asteroids" floating nearby in this Astral Space. A version of himself, he'd heard. Cursed to turn into a sabretooth tiger. The other Ranma's world's Shampoo with a horse-sword was riding the tiger, all metaphors aside. Certainly here was enough motive for him to personally take a hand. Here was another version of himself who had found what he was afraid he never would. Love. Such a rare and precious thing, too often undervalued.
"Then let's start now. Target enemy force, wide dispersal." Ranma held his hands up. "SINGULARITY BOMBARDMENT!"
Thousands of microscopic blackholes formed. They evaporated in less than thirty seconds. Even travelling at speeds in excess of .5c some couldn't reach their targets in time. Unfortunately for those in the way of the remainder, they went through armor and flesh and chiton rather easily. Gravitic disruption of tissues and electrical systems occurred.
#Warning. Highest concentration of negative life energies located at 30,30. Distance nine hundred ninety seven point six three eight klicks. Current course and speed places intercept with main base at two minutes forty seven seconds. Action required.#
"Shunt all available system power to augmenting ki attack. Keyword Big Bang."
#Warning. This will deplete system power dangerously. Require authorization.#
"Authorization code 'Who wants to live forever?'"
#Accepted. Unit will need to shut down after firing. It was nice knowing you, Ranma.#
Ranma blinked. The AI was apparently more sophisticated than he had thought. If so, it had kept it a secret for decades. "Gathering ki. Seconds to fire?"
#Seventy five, seventy four, seventy three seconds. Disengaging safety interlocks. Seventy. Bringing targetting systems to bear. Sixty.#
Lightning crackled and writhed around Ranma-ft. Large rocks began to lift from the surface of his "asteroid" and float about.
#Forty five seconds. We are fighting on side designated Heaven, correct?#
"Yes, armor."
#Will self go to Heaven if self becomes nonfunctional?#
"I don't know, armor. In a sense, you're alive, so I'd say yes, but I haven't had a chance to explore even what the implications are. In any case, I hope so."
#Self appreciates honesty. It has been a pleasure serving Ranma over years. Five seconds.#
"Big Bang. ATTACK!" Ranma-ft poured a considerable amount of his own energies into the burst, which was multiplied by nine miniature stars.
----------
T-chan shied away as a nearby asteroid liquified and a blast of energy shot across the void into what looked like a black dot quite a distance away.
-----------
"REPORT!" Ranma-av felt the shudder and looked up from the spot welding he was doing.
"Our side just launched a second attack. This one looked like something we'd like to have been able to hit Kain with." Washuu-av sounded intrigued. "That rippling effect was similar to the air slamming into place after being burned away by a lightning bolt produces thunder. Except in this case the blast was powerful enough to burn a hole in the local space/time fabric. The ripple was the 'thunder' of space/time filling the hole. Fascinating."
Ranma-av grimaced at the power output required to do that and finished the weld. "Okay, try the engines now."
"Main engines coming online, temperature within acceptable range," Nabiki's voice reported a moment later.
"Great, I'll try to get the launch bay doors now." Ranma picked up his toolkit and RAN.
Wasshu looked at her own telltales and smiled. "Hey, Captain, how about we fire the main gun before we go to close in combat?"
"Sounds good. How do we do that?" Tenchi wondered aloud. This was nothing like the Jurai treeships.
"Shifting engine power," said Nabiki, her nose in the manual as she turned a switch on the reactor panel, having switched places with Usagi. "Reactor pressure at 25% and climbing."
"Power level at 37 Tetrawatts and climbing?" Ami blinked and reread the display. "37 Tetrawatts is 25% of power capacity?! That would mean 148 Tetrawatts at full?"
"Safety interlocks disengaged. Tachyon fields active. Internal shields on," Nabiki continued to read and work her console at the same time. A sound much like a mechanical heartbeat began to sound through the vessel, the pulse slowly increasing as the gun readied.
"Using manuevering thrusters to aim ship at main group of enemies," Vanilla's quiet voice came from her own console. She consulted her own copy of the manual.
"Why are we moving the ship to shoot a gun?"
"It's a spinal mount, Akane. The gun runs the length of the ship," Nabiki flipped to the relevent pages. "Oh dear."
"Get your sunglasses, people!" Ukyo remembered something from her childhood. She'd been waiting for this moment ever since Ranma had announced they were going to a universe where the Space Battlecruiser Yamato was real and had lost a final battle and was abandoned. Washuu's technology went to work on repairs, and Ranma was still working on systems that Wasshuu had missed. Still, she knew the basic drill.
"Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one."
Ukyo wasn't the only one to see an episode of "Uchan Seikan Yamato." With a certain girlish glee, Rei Hino pulled the trigger. "Ha- SHA!"
Ami had been reading the display wrong. It wasn't tetrawatts. A tachyon engine's full power output was channelled in the equivelant of a sun's total output for 1.48 minutes. This blast left the chamber at the prow of the ship and went in the direction the ship had been aimed.
Multiton hunks of rock and nickel-iron lying in the path of the blast turned to component particles without making an appreciable loss of power. This and the vaporized space dust formed lightning flashes along the length of the blast.
"Bringing systems back online," was Vanilla's only reaction.
"What the blazes WAS that?" Akane blinked behind her mirrorshades. "Did we get 'em?"
--------------------------------
Ranma-ft lowered his TK shield. "Status report."
#Systems at 15% power. Current enemy numbers down to 124,312. Main base is currently launching spacefighters and bioforms. Ship type unknown. Bioform type unknown. Systems shutting...#
Ranma-ft touched the breastplate of his armor. "I have one task left before total shutdown. I need my longrange weapons."
#...active...#
Ranma-ft looked a little sad as he took off the inert armor and picked up the weapons. The armor had been with him, though constantly upgraded, for over thirty years. "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
--------------------------------
"Black Tiger squadron, MOVE OUT!" A dozen jet-like vehicles poured out of the hatchway like angry wasps leaving the hive.
"-Nichieju detachment, power armors, LET'S KICK SERIOUS BOOTIE!-" The command was met with a chorus of female cheers and two dozen unmarried Amazons in power armor joined the Black Tiger squadron in the immediate vicinity of their home ship. There was some confusion at first, as their training in using the powerarmor had been five minutes of listening to someone translating a manual from Japanese to Chinese.
With a series of clanks, several other ships were released from the hull of the Yamato.
"Redwing Squadron. Lock and load." Wings were deployed from these recent arrivals. Old Y-Wings that had been repeatedly rebuilt. Newer X-Wings and A-Wings. Almost completely new B-Wings that had only minor patchwork.
"-What did he say?-" Sash was still trying to get used to the idea that this odd space-like environment was a null-space, essentially part of the road to Hell that traffic to and from the Infernal had to use. The counterpart to the Rainbow Bridge of Heaven.
"-He said that if you're still reading the manual, stick to the basic stuff and read faster, Sash.-"
Finally, three sadly outdated Valkyries that had been used in the initial wars against the Zentraedi.
"Shampoo *like* this!" She transformed the ship to gerwalk and back to fighter and then to battloid mode. "Airen listening? Shampoo really really really like this!"
This added to a heavily armed recreational vehicle and three other ships already in the area.
One, a crystalline starship that liked carrots. The second known as the Yagami. The third, a reconditioned Klingon Bird Of Prey that the new owners were still arguing about a name for.
"Yagami to Yamato, do you read?" Kiyone's voice was registering surprise.
"Yamato here. What is it, Kiyone?"
"Tell Washuu I got some interesting data from one of our companion ships down the line. Apparently one group of our otherdimensional selves are trying to kill Ranma."
Everyone on the Yamato froze briefly, trying to imagine TWO Washuus. TWO Kiyones (okay, those two weren't hard.) TWO Mihoshis. (Now *there* the mind boggles.)
--------------------------
Ranma-ft used a telepathic broadcast since his armor was still inert. "Commander Yamato, this is Gladiator."
"Uhm, go ahead, Gladiator?"
"The Splugorth's MINE!"
"Hang on, we're getting a signal." Tenchi watched as one seriously powerful Ranma shot from the remains of one of the hanging rocks to an intercept course for the main group.
"Confirmed," murmurred Kasumi from the communications console. "Tenchi! The war's been called off."
"HUH!?" The comment reverberated from up and down the line as people who had been steeling themselves to fight their last battle and buy time for the rest of the Multiverse suddenly tried to cope with the idea that their necessary sacrifice wasn't needed.
Redwing 8 had a question. "That mean we no can fight?"
"Uhm, sounds like it," conceded Tenchi, though his attitude was completely different.
There was grumbling and disappointment from more than just the Amazons.
"Do this mean Sash can no keep X-Wing?"
"That too," said Tenchi.
A stream of quite unhappy Mandarin from Redwing 4 was cut off by Kasumi a moment later.
--------
"PRAISE BE!" Penitent Souls Division 104, the "Woebegone Wombats" cheered and prepared to go back to life as couch potatos among the Einherar.
A reluctant demon turned VERY reluctant Captain watched the tiny thread of discipline he'd thought he'd managed to get from them disintegrate.
Grey sighed and started gathering up the discarded weapons and armor. He expected that he'd be held accountable for every damn piece.
"Excuse me," came a woman's voice.
"Yeah," Grey managed, his hands full of weapons that most of the Einherar wouldn't touch.
"Your troops seem to have abandoned you," the woman said with a smile.
Grey blinked, he didn't recognize her, and she didn't have either goddess or demon markings as far as he could tell. So this wasn't yet another test by the good guys or temptation by the bad. "Yeah, well, they aren't exactly what you'd call crack troops. Cracked troops, maybe."
"I see." The woman nodded as if this explained everything.
"If they were truly penitent, if they repented their sins of the past, it'd be different. Most of 'em don't even really understand what they're supposed to be doing," Grey explained. "They were too incompetent to be evil, too selfish or petty to be good, and they've all got a lifetime of learning how to justify how they are. None of it is *their* fault, etc, etc. Consumed by petty things, jealousy, pride, things like that. Given enough time, they might get to making a choice and end up either fully in Heaven or in Hell. As it is, if the Powers That Be listened to me, I'd have 'em all involved in a work program. They're not gonna change if all they do is the Couch Potato routine... Just as long as they don't go to work in the Rival Relief Office."
The woman shrugged, noticed that the odd person had dropped a weapon and ran to catch up with him.
Unfortunately, Grey noticed the missing Baseball Bat+1/+4 vs small flying objects, and turned at entirely the wrong moment.
-CRACK!- He *was* still carrying the enchanted mallet Headbasher II.
Noticing that the nice young lady was currently knocked out, Grey couldn't help but wonder how many demerits THIS would be.
Fifteen minutes later, he would learn that she was from a rustic little village in China with some *really* strange laws. (1)
(1)= note that this takes place prior to the events in Skysaber's Choice and Reluctant Bet.
--------
"Ranma, Shampoo REALLY really like this!"
Everyone on the bridge of the Yamato smirked at the repeated comment from a certain Chinese Amazon over the comm channel. There were even a few snickers and at least one (Akane) guffaw. Though there were a few comments about Ukyo suddenly needing to leave.
"Airen? Did Shampoo mention how MUCH she really really like this? And it have such a nice name - 'Valkyrie'! It only proper for Chinese Amazon to pilot! And it not take THAT much room..."
More snickers as Akane explained that she could just picture Shampoo begging with sparkly eyes if she could keep a puppy.
"... may be needed later. You never know when you might need transforming giant robot. Though Shampoo might want to repaint. Too much primer showing now. Maybe in purple so matches Shampoo's hair... or 'fire engine red' would be nice... Airen? You listen to Shampoo?"
Akane fell off her chair she was laughing so hard, still overcome with the image of the Shampoo she'd met when they were children asking if she could keep a puppy.
"Shampoo need something to replace hoverbike, right Airen?"
"If Shampoo get to keep Valkyrie, Sash want to keep X-wing. Is only fair!"
"Belay that, Red Four," came the squad leader's voice. "Where would you put it? If we kept that thing in the village, the People's Army would be up there to requisition it within a week at least. Not to mention upkeep and maintenance!"
"Airen?" Shampoo's voice went from cutely enthusiastic to concerned. "Airen? Shampoo... Shampoo not mean to..."
"...okay Shampoo..."
At Ranma's mumbled acquiescence, Akane fell off her chair again laughing with an unladylike snort. A withered Amazon Elder joined her.
"Airen sure?! No joke?!"
"Yeah... I suppose I can store it on the Yamato," Ranma said a little more confidently. "These WERE all mothballed or abandoned vehicles. Well except for that Bird Of Prey."
"Stupid crab-heads should no underestimate womans of Amazon tribe. IS SPOIL OF WAR!" That transmission, to no one's surprise, came from the Bird Of Prey. "Stupid Klingons think they only warriors, call me soft and weak! We shows them! Kick thems off own stupid pirate ship! Now is sleek Amazon warship!"
"Airen mean it? Shampoo get to keep Valkyrie?"
Akane stopped chuckling to wait for it.
"...yeah Shampoo... I'll cover it somehow..."
"YATTA! YATTA! SHAMPOO SO HAPPY! SHAMPOO MUCH MUCH *MUCH* LOVE HER AIREN!"
Kasumi turned down the volume of the radio as Shampoo continued to gush while putting her transforming jet through various manuevers.
"As soon as Shampoo gets back, we should Warp back to our home reality, Captain." Ranma's voice sounded somewhat embarassed.
"This could take awhile," said Akane as she watched the mecha go through a barrel roll and end up in battloid form giving twin victory signs.
"Amazon pride is taking a beating today," one of the Amazon Elders said in a weary voice.
"Amazons have pride?" Akane blinked.
-----------------------------
Skuld was in heaven. While being in Heaven was nothing unusual, her residence being the Norn's Grove and her employment at the Goddess Relief Office of Asgard, this was different.
Ragnorak, the Twilight Of The Gods, the End Of All That Is had been postponed. This was, to the thinking of a truly vast number of beings, a Good Thing. This, however,was not the reason for Skuld developing starry eyes and being surrounded by soft focus lighting.
There had been a great many surprises that had occurred during the brief skirmish, which had made the other side anxious to break off their battle just as much as the Heavenly Forces had. Just the fact that a recently apotheosized Japanese goddess of Spring & Renewal had managed to get the Fenris Wolf (not to be confused with Fenrir, who had been an aspect of the Ultimate Destruction Program) to switch sides had caused a large number of the Infernals to make a Reality Check.
This also was not why Skuld was currently floating six inches above the floor and beyond noticing.
"You got the readings?" Skuld's grin was nearly electric.
The Sailor Mercury of a timeline where she was VERY interested in one Ranma Saotome (not that she'd interfere in Rae's happiness) nodded. "Some of the details were too covered by the armor or force fields, but I've got some technical blueprints and details."
Skuld giggled as she looked at the display that Sailor Mercury of HER universe was indicating. The group that had been mobilized from a dozen different timelines to converge on an area of Nullspace had been motley to say the least. THAT Ranma had been some sort of friendly mad scientist type, and had scoured the higher speed timelines for things that could slow the advance of the Infernal Army.
X-wings, Y-wings, Valkyries (the transforming mecha) piloted by Amazons, Mospeada battlearmor worn by real valkyries, Ultimax Power Armor, Gundam units, and other strange designs.
Not to mention a hotwired Klingon Bird Of Prey, the SpaceCruiser Yamato (though half the combatants even in the battle had kept calling it the Argo - resulting in several fistfights after the declaration that Ragnorak had been postponed), and the most heavily armed recreational vehicle Skuld had ever seen.
Skuld watched the blueprints forming on the display of the Mercury computer and suppressed a shiver of ecstacy.
She wondered if the Saotomes that Belldandy was staying with would terribly mind if she borrowed their drydock facilities...
----
Gim regarded the elf and the human and made a hmmphing noise as he went off to find
Heimdahl or Thor and buy 'em a round.
Parn gathered Deedlit into his arms, two einherjar just glad to be back together, one of several such islands in the sea of returning soldiers.
-----
Shampoo was grinning so much it hurt, but she couldn't stop herself. This was the PERFECT war vehicle for an Amazon! Fast, sleek, deadly, much like Shampoo herself. OK, it needed some work. The lateral thrusters were a bit sluggish, there was primer showing all over the vehicle, she WANTED a laser sword or similar weapon, but all those could be fixed later.
One button down, the ship was a fast jet that could get you to the combat scene quickly. Very important, as one could miss out on a good fight if your ship was too slow. Push down one of the other buttons, and the jet had leg-like thrusters and was ideal for VTOL and lower speed dogfights. Push down the final configuration button, and one had a giant robot capable of infantry battles and employing the martial arts talents of its pilot!
Okay, it wouldn't do for heavy fighting, the armor was WAY too light for that sort of thing. And for covert operations, the Valkyrie was *not* an option.
Shampoo thought back to when Ranma had been travelling with the Doctor and her, and he had bought her a funny little knife. She had carried that thing *everywhere* until they were thrown in jail on that one planet and the knife had been confiscated. It had a screwdriver and a pair of tweezers and a funny thing called a corkscrew, and a dozen other little tools. It had done a little of everything but none absolutely well. The Valkyrie was a little like that. (Though for some reason a lot of people kept calling it a Veritech...)
Shampoo pouted momentarily at the memory. She and Ranma had been thrown in the same cell. It had been cold and the lighting dim, and they'd cuddled up together for warmth. She could remember Ranma's breath warming her cheek as they'd held each other close and how hypnotically she'd been drawn in- homing in on that breath for a passionate kiss that would have outshone the sun! Except, of course, that was when the Doctor had rescued them.
Shampoo had never come closer to strangling the Doctor with his own scarf than on that occasion.
And shortly after that had come the time that the Master had locked her mind in some control, how she had gleefully pounded and pounded on Ranma, all the while some little corner of her mind had wailed and cried in shame. And a promising relationship, one that could have lived in romantic legends to inspire other couples, and been pointed to as a Fated Couple, had gone down in flames.
Shampoo made a note that if she spotted the Master's dead shade over on the Hell side, she'd launch a fragmentation missile. And hoped it HURT.
Still, Ranma had given her the Valkyrie. Maybe, just maybe, she still had a chance.
---------
Ukyo piloted the small vessel, something called a "do-bee" and tried to reach the Yamato quickly. No one had missed her, other than Ranma briefly asking about her and told by Nabiki that Ukyo was checking welds.
No, what Ukyo was doing was FAR more ambitious. Taking a workpod from the Yamato to make a scan of some of the other troops. She'd heard a few comments about getting scans, and she'd taken it upon herself. Who else could be spared if the truce failed to hold? Her combat talents were minimal compared to the others. She had a bit of the Anything Goes, but her own training was mainly in her family's style of okonomiyaki martial arts.
She wasn't as familiar with this tech stuff as Shampoo, not as exotic as Vanilla, not as fierce as Akane, as beautiful as Kasumi, as clever as Nabiki, as smart as Ami, or as graceful as Makoto. How was she to compete?
She'd left the travels with Ranma and company to return home and study her family's martial arts, and mainly not even did that. Her main skills were in okonomiyaki, and Ukyo had to admit she did *nothing* else very well. It had been enough for her father, but for THIS crowd? She was a "one trick wonder" without anything else to recommend her, and this had been painfully brought home with the outfitting of the Yamato.
The Ranma that she'd repeatedly saved from the teasing of Kodachi and Akane had changed. The sometimes-dragon she'd declared "pals forever" with was now working on hyperdrive motivators and deflector arrays. He'd changed but she could see the old Ranma in the face of the new.
Ukyo closed her eyes to picture that long-ago Ranma. The little boy she'd fallen in love with and had never fallen OUT of love with. Sitting on a bench in the park, scarfing freshly made okonomiyaki and making little bits of small talk.
A buzzing noise filled the do-bee, causing Ukyo to wake from her reverie. She'd overshot the Yamato. She pulled back on the control, making another pass.
The Yamato blurred, shimmered, and faded from view.
"AAAAAHHHHH!" Ukyo slapped controls to increase the speed. She hadn't told anyone that she was going! It was just a short trip to scan that big gadget over there! "Don't leave!"
The Yamato vanished, all the fighters either being stowed away or physically linked to the ship at the time.
Ukyo's ship, barely big enough for her to stand up in, got caught in the wake. When she finally got the tumbling arrested, Ukyo looked out at a starfield and a big blue and white globe hanging in the sky. "No..."
There was no sign of the Yamato or any of the ships. No stepping stones to Hel, no odd gizmos, none of the other troops. As far as she could tell, Ukyo was alone.
She hit the broadcast button. "Ranma, can you hear me? Shampoo? Nabiki? Kasumi? Someone?Anyone? Help..."
-----------
"Base to Poison One."
Arisa punched the microphone button. "Poison One, we read you Base."
"Arisa, check NNE, we're picking up an unusual broadcast and multiple bogies."
Kyouko stepped into the cockpit to slap her fist against an open palm. "Maybe it's the bimbo-droid! We can get her at last with the newest upgrades to Poison One."
"Base, this is Poison One. Picking up twelve smaller blips. Two medium. One extra-large. That what you got?"
"Not a glitch on our end, then. Good. The big one's moving too slow to be a plane, must be some kind of extra-large blimp. The smaller ones might be helicopters, otherwise they're moving too slow for conventional aircraft. Lady Akiko suggests you be careful with Poison One as your paychecks are already in hock."
Arisa and Kyouko sweatdropped at the reminder.
"H-hai, reading you crystal clear." Arisa cleared her throat nervously.
"We can handle some crummy blimps, don't be such a worry wart," Kyouko was feeling especially gung-ho today. With the new anti-dragon missiles and targetting system, just let that monster show up!
"Dial to channel 34 on your radio," advised Base. "You'll see what I mean. It's coming from that group."
Arisa did and the two listened for a moment.
Kyouko ventured a guess. "Someone's skinning a cat?"
"It's the 'Ride Of The Valkyries' but played on electric guitars from the sound of it." Arisa frowned. "What the heck? Hey, I'll try a telescopic magnification on the group... oh. my. sweet. kami."
"AAAHHH! How come they have bigger guns than we do!" Kyouko suffered from big gun envy, a chronic problem with technologically oriented anime villains and their hirelings.
----------
Katsushiko blinked and looked up out of his office window as a cloud or something eclipsed the sun. Then he fainted.
All over Tokyo, people fainted, people stopped what they were doing and stared, or just (with the aplomb worthy of a Japanese) shrugged and assumed it was someone else's problem before continuing on with their work.
In the streets below, one man wept as he saw it/them go by. "How's THAT for national pride!" And immediately started singing the theme from "Ucchan Senkan Yamato" (end lyrics from the final movie). And another took it up by the second verse, the effect continuing to spread until the sound echoed off the concrete and steel canyons of Shinjuku. Thousands of voices raised as those who had the guilty pleasure of fond rememberance of the series came out of the closet.
The media would later report that it was all a mass hallucination. That didn't keep those involved from fondly remembering the scene and treasuring their hidden snapshots.
-------------
"Hi, this is DJ Bill and you're speaking to the Heart of Japanese Classic Rock!"
"Let Shampoo speak! Hello? Shampoo would like to hear 'Born to be wild' by 'Steppenwolf' and please to CRANK IT UP!"
"You got it, Shampoo-san! But before we do that, we've got some weird calls coming in. Folks, stop trying to pull DJ Bill's chain here. UFOs are just CIA conspiracy plots. Now, on with the music!"
-------------
Arisa stared as the Space Battlecruiser Yamato moved forward, attended by a swarm of what could only be fighters.
Kyouko's reaction was a little different. "TARGETS! LOTS AND LOTS OF TARGETS!"
Arisa whimpered deep in her throat as Kyouko stroked firing controls to unleash dozens of missiles on this bonanza of targets.
--------------
Nabiki couldn't believe it, but gave the alert anyway. "WARNING. MISSILE LOCKS ACTIVE."
"All ships. Fire once and once only. Target the incoming missiles. Volley one. MARK!" Tenchi was vaguely familiar with the vehicles and their capabilities.
All ships fired once. With two exceptions.
"How dare you attack my precious X-wing with your stupid missiles! DIE! diediediediedie! Eat hot photons you stupid ugly helicopter thing! And your mama designed you funny! And your colors are worse than a sentai team! Bwahahahahaha!"
Tenchi hit the intercom. "Ranma, you ARE going to put some safety override's on Sash's Xwing, aren't you?"
Ranma considered from his position in the engine room. "Well, at least she isn't using..."
*BOOM!*
"Was that a proton torpedo?"
"Yup."
"Where's the Bird Of Prey?"
"Snagged the pilot's parachutes and is en route to Yokohama Harbor from the look of it." Tenchi hung his head. He was just glad Ryo-oh-ki and Ryoko hadn't gotten involved.
"Once we stash things underground and you're back in Okayama, we ought to be fine."
"You hope."
"Tenchi, my friend. I PRAY."
--------
Two decks down, there was a father and daughter talk going on. Sort of.
"Nuku Nuku is Ranma's fiancee?" Nuku Nuku blinked. "What is 'fiancee', Papa-san?"
Thinking of some of the things he'd seen, Kyusaku Natsume considered. "It means that now that Ryunosuke doesn't need you, and Akiko is a bit... hostile still, you'll need to belong to someone. In my wisdom, I prepared for just such an eventuality."
"Akiko san gets along with Nuku Nuku," Nuku Nuku said and paused, "except..."
"Except one week a month. Trust me, I know. Oh dear Lord do I know." Kyusaku grimaced. "If nothing else this gets you out of the house during those times."
Nuku Nuku happily nodded. She had new friends! And whatever a fiancee was.
----
Ukyo closed her eyes. The little workpod wasn't big or particularly aerodynamic, it had been designed for work in deep space. The life support systems could last for twelve hours before she had to dock with a ship or station. The sensor suite, the reason she had picked this particular vehicle, had excellent range and sensitivity. The thrusters, on the other hand, were strictly for short distances and not terribly great speed.
Therefore, the large blue-green world that was filling most of her field of vision was deemed NOT a good thing. That her speed was increasing despite having the thrusters in full reverse was easily determined as the workpod had come off the Yamato and therefore all the instruments were in Japanese.
The young businesswoman sat on the floor after a few minutes and just stared at the wall. She'd spent years fantasizing about Ranma and becoming the best okonomiyaki chef in the world. She was a good martial artist too, though she'd never had Akane's drive for violence or Kasumi's incredible talent for the Art.
She listened to the warning bleeps and just tuned them out after a moment, remembering all the times she'd rescued her Ran-chan from Akane or Kodachi when they had all been kids. The time the two of them had been stuck in the well, or thrown in the dungeon, or...
Ukyo gave a short laugh as the workpod shuddered a bit more violently. What could Ranma have seen in her anyway? She'd spent years mastering okonomiyaki, and had become a decent martial artist. The problem was that Ranma was surrounded by girls that outshone her completely. There were better fighters, better cooks (though not in okonomiyaki at least), others who understood all this high tech better, girls who were stronger or cuter or were exotic.
Ukyo smelled something burning and could hear the squawk of a fire alarm going off. She wondered if Ranma had even noticed her being missing. Doubtful that he'd notice until after he'd gotten the Amazons under control. By which time she'd have long been ash blown on the wind. He'd notice, and then what? Would he ever know what had happened? She didn't doubt that he'd care but with so many women around him, he'd get over her quickly.
"Oh, Ranma, if only I could have..."
The ship coming to an abrupt halt was enough to startle her, but when she saw the ship that was pulling her ship into its hold she realized that she might have been better off burning up in re-entry.
-----
Ranma grumbled about all the extra work but wasn't THAT unhappy about it. Tenchi stuck around briefly, then retired with HIS girls, though he'd at least found someone in similar straits and promised to keep in touch. Nuku Nuku announced that she was his fiancee, and made the understandable mistake of asking Ranma's mother what a fiancee was. She was now undergoing bridal training.
Something Ranma had noticed about a LOT of the couples, once they'd gotten the idea that they had gotten a reprieve from Meaningful But Certain Death, they'd gotten together and found quiet little places to express their appreciation of that continued existence.
Which meant that there were quite a few lime scenes going on, or at least serious cuddling. He wasn't sure what was going on with Belldandy and Keiichi, except that Belldandy's sister Urd had a satisfied smile and had stated that this might take awhile.
There were other groups getting together. That Usagi and her boyfriend Mamoru were clearly visible at the prow of the Yamato, just leaning together and quietly talking.
Others were apparently exchanging contact information for more practical reasons. Each of the various groups had their own enemies, after all, and often found themselves in dire straits. How handy it would be (for example) if the Sailor Senshi found themselves up against a major villain, if they could call up and get reinforcements from one of the OTHER groups.
Both Q and the Brigadier were helping, apparently someone had gotten an idea from an old gaijin television series called "Mission Impossible" that the two were trying to get going. Where certain heroes could be called up when their interests and duties overlapped to form a team of complimentary strengths.
Cutey Honey was quick to seize on this concept, especially as going it alone had ended up with her literally in pieces. The Senshi voiced more hesitant acceptance of the idea, though their cats seemed pretty much against it. Urd liked the idea, but stated that she had to clear it with her office and didn't think that it would fly. Q thought that saving the world was in the best interest of Her Majesty's Secret Service, though he'd have to clear it himself. The Brigadier noted that UNIT could be counted on, though they'd have to invest in more layers of security to keep certain secrets safe.
Cologne got an eerie gleam in her eye and muttered a few things about having "proper heroes and heroines" train under her once again. This caused a few people to have reservations about including the Amazons in this idea. A few others who had been picked up during the preparations, including a brooding young man named Akira Fudoh, thought the idea had some appeal but couldn't make any promises. Not that he needed any help that *he* would admit to, of course.
However, all the groups were agreed on one thing. Ranma currently had the best hidden base from which to plan things and store vehicles. Which meant that it was Ranma's responsibility to keep everything up and running.
Hence Ranma's current spate of grumbling. Not that he didn't see the benefits of having supplies available to him, and if the Daleks ever returned the idea of launching a warfleet and giving them a little surprise had a LOT of appeal.
But keeping everything mothballed for an emergency was just so... tedious. ~Hmmm. That's odd.~ "Has anyone seen Ucchan?"
=================
realized this was at 52kb, so cut it here.
This segment crosses over with Mirrors Multiplied at that saga's chapter 17.
It comes before (in Grey's often confusing chronology -time travel can do that) Reluctant Bet, Force Of Impact, and Source Of Pride.