Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ All Because of a Lava Lamp ❯ 1 ( Chapter 1 )

Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1/2 , nor intend to profit from use of its characters.

 

Akane was walking to school with her usual companion. It seemed like any other day to Akane. What was unusual was how Ranma snuck two paces behind her with a mallet at ready.

 

Really, Ranma was just covering her back, but Akane would get mad if she knew he was being this overprotective. Akane turned around. He quickly made the weapon disappear and tried to appear innocent. “Uh…What's up Akane?”

 

Akane dropped her head in a look of embarrassment. “Ranma, I wanted to thank you for that rescue yesterday.”

 

“Sure. Whatever.”

 

Akane turned and continued walking for a few paces then just as Ranma was back in defensive mode she turned again.

 

“Are you okay Ranma?” She asked.

 

“Yeah, uh why do you ask?”

 

“Usually you walk on the fence ahead of me.”

 

“Oh that's, right.” Ranma jumped up onto the fence.

 

“You don't have to do that to impress me you know.”

 

“No, No it's just …uh…this is what I always do, isn't it?”

 

They walked along a little bit further, then Ranma was distracted by the sound of a bicycles bells. He turned, just in time to have the wheel of a 10 speed smash into his face. Shampoo jumped from her bicycle and glomped onto her Airen. “Shampoo is Oh so happy to see you Ranma. You date Shampoo now yes.”

 

Ranma found himself on the ground yelling “get off me.”

 

“You've got a lot of nerve showing your face so soon after what you did Shampoo!” Akane cursed.

 

“You've got a lot of nerve showing your face anytime,” Shampoo teased, sticking out her tongue, “Nyaa.”

 

“Just yesterday you kidnapped me and blackmailed Ranma to go out with you. Someone that needy shouldn't act so smug.

 

The Amazon ignored Akane, jumped to Ranma and embraced him once more. “You go on date with Shampoo now yes?”

 

“Well, uh …”Ranma stuttered.

 

Furious, Akane took a water bottle from her backpack and splashed both of them. The Amazon turned into a cat as she was cursed to do so. Thanks to some nekoken training, courtesy of Genma, girl type Ranma ran away from the feline in terror. Akane was left to face a somewhat less threatening Shampoo all by herself. The Tendo girl turned up her nose and walked right past Shampoo's cat self. Then she heard it. “Meow.” Have you ever heard a cat meow? I mean just cry over and over again until it gets what it wants. It can be cute and saddening at the same time. Akane tried to leave but the cat just mewed and mewed until Akane couldn't help but turn back.

 

Akane took the cat and Shampoos clothes to an alley, and then pulled out a thermos she keeps for Ranma's benefit.

 

 

Ranma managed to compose himself just before reaching the school gates. His ego far outweighed his fear. He went to homeroom, but to his surprise Akane never showed up. After two classes without Akane, Ranma left school and went straight to the Neko Hanten to figure out what the heck had happened that morning. When she entered the restaurant she was greeted by Moose.

 

“Saotome. Hmpf. If you're here to bother Shampoo forget it.”

 

His tone was filled with malice and concealed weapons fell from his robe into his hands. It kind of amused Ranma to have the duck react to him in this way. He always finds it funny how certain people just expect others to find them intimidating when there not. Especially guys that have lots of muscle, they strut around like those lumps on there bodies were filled with ki.

 

“Actually I figure I'll try the Old Ghoul first.”

 

Mousse gave him no acknowledgment and watched carefully as Ranma walked backwards into the kitchen, never turning his eyes from duck boy.

 

He entered the kitchen.

 

“Ah, son in law, have you come to see Shampoo?”

 

Ranma starred at her, wondering if Cologne had finally gone senile.

 

“Oh, yes, yesterdays kidnapping. I suppose your going to be sore about that for a little longer. I told Shampoo it was a stupid plan, but you know how direct she is.” The old woman sighed in embarrassment.

 

Ranma dropped his guard slightly. He never lets it fully drop around Cologne but he dropped it slightly. “I came because Akane was missing from school today.”

 

The old woman paused for a moment. Not to think, just to build unnecessary tension. “Ah yes, she is with Shampoo. When my Granddaughter came home they were together.”

 

In less than a second, which seemed like and eternity Ranma ran upstairs and smashed through the door of Shampoo's room.

 

To his surprise, they were in front of a mirror and Shampoo was doing Akane's makeup. Shampoo had bells in her hair and was wearing a white dress with cute puffy sleeves. From her clownish appearance it looked as though Akane had tried to do her makeup as well.

 

Shampoo regarded her smashed door with annoyance, and then shook it off remembering how many of the Tendo doors and walls she smashes. “Ranma, I glad you come. There is something we need talk about.”

 

Ranma looked at the girls with quizzical anticipation.

 

“Ranma,” they said in unison, “I think we should try just being friends for awhile.”

 

“WHAT!” Ranma screamed.

 

Shampoo closed her eyes, took a deep breath then opened her eyes and explained. “After this mornings fiasco Akane help me so I wouldn't have to go home in cat form. Even after all the things I've done to her she helped me. So we talked, I mean really talked. She says I have so much going for me, I'm beautiful, exotic, upbeat, a great martial artist, smart, I know lots about magic, I speak two languages. Despite all this, when I'm with you I just act like some kind of floozy bimbo.”

 

Ranma somberly nodded as he took in the assessment. Akane continued while Shampoo fixed her own makeup.

 

“You on the other hand keep several fiancées and sure you rescue us from kidnappers and supernatural monsters, but beyond that you never show any real affection. You always act all macho, and cool. Deep down I think you feel insecure because of the curse and you can't let all these girls go because having us makes you feel like a man. But you are a man, or at least you're growing into one. The truth is I don't think any of us are mature enough to be in a real relationship just yet. Me and Shampoo agreed to all just be friends for awhile. Rushing things has caused nothing but trouble.”

 

“Wait, you want to be friends with each other too.” Ranma just could not wrap his mind around that concept.

 

“Yes,” Shampoo chirped. “In fact Akane is taking me out for karaoke tonight. She is so much nicer than Shampoo thought.”

 

Ranma felt a strange sense of panic coming on.

 

“Wait, girls. What do you mean insecure. I'm plenty secure. I'm mature to. I mean there's no problem with us.”

 

Shampoo gave the boy a sad smile, and then she giggled a little. “I know you don't really want this relationship as it is. Akane says if we become friends these things can happen naturally when it's time.”

 

“Don't listen to Akane, Ranma demanded. I'm mature that ain't the problem, don't worry about stupid stuff you dummy.”

 

Shampoo patted Ranma on the head. Then in a tone of voice one might use to humor a child she said “Fine, you're mature. Now wait until we are.”

 

With that they said goodbye and left for the karaoke parlor.

 

Ranma just kneeled there stunned as they left. For several minutes he just stood there motionless. Cologne found him practically catatonic and cured this state with a light whack on the head by her cane.

 

“What the…” Ranma screamed at the Amazon elder.

 

Having eavesdropped on their conversation, no further explanation was needed. “I was afraid of this,” the old ghoul fretted.

 

“Why would she dump me, not that I care but what is going on.”

 

Cologne paused for a second, for more unnecessary tension. “Ranma, Shampoo still cares about you. However she's right. You are immature.”

 

“Shampoo's just doing what Akane tells her to do. I got to go set her straight. That uncute tomboy is messing with her mind. What am I doing here? I have to go spy on them.”

 

As he left Cologne smiled a wicked smile. Calling Ranma immature is working better that the contrary jewel she thought. Those silly girls don't even realize she gave them the idea to just be friends.

 

 

A few minutes later Ranma was at the karaoke parlor arguing with a desk clerk.

 

“What do you mean I can't go in,” Ranma demanded.

 

“Sir the two girls you asked for have rented a private karaoke room. That means the room is theirs and no one else gets in until there time is up.”

 

“Well give me the room next to theirs.”

 

“Sir I can't do that. The room they rented is a standard room, but the room next to it is a couple's room. In short we can only rent that room to couples.”

 

“How is this couple's room different from a standard room,” Ranma demanded.

 

“Well,” the girl bowed down, embarrassed by the burocrocy of her job. “It has a lava lamp in it.”

 

“A lava lamp.”

 

“It creates a romantic atmosphere.”

 

“So if I had a girl with me I could get that room.”

 

“Yes.”

 

In desperation, Ranma rushed to across town to the one place that has what he needed. He ran into Ukyo's Okinomiyaki restaurant and demanded that Ukyo go out with him. Ukyo put Konatsu in charge and left with Ranma at the drop of a hat. Ranma grabbed Ukyo in a fireman's carry then rushed back to the karaoke parlor and demanded the room.

 

The clerk was a bit shocked in that the whole thing took less that a minute and he was actually carrying the girl. However Ukyo seemed happy so she accepted them as a couple.

 

Ranma had never been to one of these places before, and didn't know what to expect. It was like a hotel, in that you rent a key from the lobby and go to your room. The room itself was small. It had two sofas, facing one another, a coffee table, and a karaoke machine in the far end. On the coffee table was a telephone that connected directly to the parlors fast food restaurant, and a lava lamp. Ranma scoffed at the sight of the cursed lava lamp, and rolled his eyes when Ukyo commented on what a romantic atmosphere this lamp created.

 

He put his ear to the wall and listened carefully, but heard nothing. Akane and Shampoo were supposed to be on the other side. What was going on?

 

“Don't worry sugar,” Ukyo cooed, “They soundproof these places so dozens of couples can do karaoke privately without bothering one another.” Then she bent down and whispered in Ranma's ear “we can make all the noise we want. No one will hear us.”

 

Ranma gulped.

 

 

“You may touch me in dreams but they don't stay.

Today you don't have much to say.

How am I going to face the light of day?

What have I done now?”

 

Akane and Shampoo each hugged the other with one arm and held there microphones with the other, singing there hearts out. Shampoo's voice was a beautiful soprano. Akane's voice was and awful baritone. Yet no one worried about keeping score. They sang and sang and fell down on the sofa together laughing. When the laughter ended and the song finished they looked into each others eyes.

 

“Hey Akane. Do you ever come here with Ranma?”

 

“What? Why would I come here with him?” Akane closed her eyes and lied down with a content smile. “That jerk doesn't do anything normal, so I've never asked him to come. Besides I can't come here alone with a boy. My friends at school drag me here sometimes and I always end up enjoying myself, so I thought I'd try and take you, now that we're friends.”

 

“I'm glad you did. Hey maybe Ranma would like this place if we dragged him here.”

 

“Ranma this, Ranma that. Maybe you've got Ranma on the brain.”

 

Hearing this Shampoo threw a pillow at her. “Well he was pretty uncertain, but he did try to talk me out of it when I asked to just be friends.”

 

“He just wants attention. Trust me, Ranma's to immature for marriage. Me, I'm sick of acting like an angry brat just cause I'm frustrated from waiting for him to grow up; Or did you forget,” Akane gave a competitive grin “He's engaged to me to.”

 

The two girls paused for a minute, and then started giggling again.

 

“Hey Shampoo,” Akane asked. “What do you really feel about Mousse?”

 

“He makes a cute pet.”

 

“I meant when he's human.”

 

“So did I.”

 

“Hey Akane,” Shampoo asked. “What do you feel about Ranma?”

 

“Ranma again.” Akane thought for a moment. “I like him, and I hate him, and I like and hate liking him. He's a macho jerk, then when I'm about to really hate him he does something sweet. Also that curse throws me off guard. Once I had a broken heart and I cried on girl Ranma's shoulder, but when he's a guy I don't even know how to talk to him. Then I get even angrier if a catch him acting like a girl, but I don't want to lose the girl Ranma if he ever finds a cure. Basically were pretty messed up and we never really work anything out. How about you.”

 

“He's cute.”

 

“That's it.”

 

“Strong too.”

 

The two girls lied on the couch for a while, and then picked another song.

 

 

Ukyo was nervous. Actually nervous was an understatement. Ranma had just minutes ago rushed into her restaurant, and carried her to a private, soundproof, room. Then he locked them in. At the moment, Ranma was tapping on the wall and moving his ear around its surface checking for weak spots in the sound proofing.

 

“Hey Ranma,” Ukyo asked, “Should I order us some food?”

 

“I didn't come here to eat,” Ranma scoffed.

 

“Hey Ranma,” Ukyo asked, “What kind of song should I sing.”

 

“I didn't come here to sing,” Ranma bellowed.

 

Ukyo looked at the room service phone and the karaoke machine. They were all the room had to offer, unless he had some interesting use for the lava lamp.

 

Her fiancée has dragged her to a private, soundproof, room. She repeated this over and over again in her mind. Her fiancée has dragged her to a private soundproof room.

 

Ranma was bracing himself to smash through the wall when Ukyo put her hand on his shoulder. He turned to see what was going on, an obvious mistake. Ukyo placed her other hand on the small of Ranma's back closed her eyes, pursed her lips, and awaited her kiss. Ranma just starred at her for awhile, and then tried to slip away. Mistaking his weaseling away for bending down to kiss her Ukyo pulled him in and there lips met.

 

Ukyo was kissing him. This was Ranma's first kiss. Well the martial arts ice skater doesn't count. It was warm and salty, and kind of nice. Ranma held the kiss for a few seconds longer than he should have, and then pulled her off. “Ukyo, stop.”

 

“Ranma, what's wrong.” Ukyo blushed and turned her head to the side. “Isn't this what we're here for?”

 

“No, I just needed to get into this room.”

 

Struck with a pain in her heart, Ukyo turned away. For once Ranma had made her feel special, feel like she was the only one, and now he had ripped that feeling and all her anticipation away. Not knowing what to do Ranma tried to explain. “Akane and Shampoo are in the next room. They decided to be friends all of a sudden, but Shampoo just kidnapped Akane yesterday and there's something just sick and wrong about this. The dumb clerk wouldn't let me into this room alone because it has a lava lamp.”

 

Ukyo grabbed the sofa and held it threateningly over her head ready to beat Ranma. Ranma leaped back but Ukyo just sighed and put the sofa down. She wanted to be angry she really did, but she just couldn't. Not after she had felt so good just moments before. “I understand Ranma. Well not the part about the lava lamp.” Then she moved one of the sofas aside. “These places put the sofas in the same spot in every room. If you punch a small hole right here they might not even notice, especially if the karaoke machine is turned on full blast.”

 

Ranma lowered his head, and thanked Ukyo. Ukyo sat on the other couch quietly, apparently not planning to interfere. Actually the idea of Akane and Shampoo becoming friends was sick and weird. Ranma braced himself to punch the wall then he stopped and turned to Ukyo. “U-chan, do you think I'm immature?”

 

Ukyo was stunned by the question, yet she nodded and gave a solemn and honest “yes Ranma.”

 

Ranma went back to the wall, and then paused again. He turned to Ukyo and said “You're right.” Then he moved the sofa back in place and sat down. As Ukyo wondered what was going on Ranma picked up the restaurant phone. “Hey, you want to split a milkshake?”

 

 

“Hey Akane,” Shampoo asked. “If we both stop chasing Ranma, won't spatula girl just jump in and take him.

 

Akane thought for a minute. “It'll never happen.”

 

 

“Hey Ranma,” Ukyo asked. “Is it okay to do this with your other fiancées in the next room.”

 

Ranma fumbled, not used to the angle of unstrapping someone else's bra.

 

“Didn't you hear? They're just friends now.”