Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Baka ❯ Chapter 1

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Baka

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Just who the heck does she think she is?

Akane no baka.

Hell, I think this cursed thing goes deeper than just the girl thing. I think they left out "not only are you cursed to be half female, but also your macho, uncute fiancé will be kidnapped and/or lusted after by every male within a seventy mile radius. And you will have to drop everything and run around after her because her father has severe problems."

I really thought that this time she'd be in trouble… and maybe I had felt kinda bad about being mean to her about believing in those monsters. After all, I sure as hell know they're real now. I thought that she might have been kidnapped again, or somehow forced to go, but 'turns out that she left of her own accord.

Well whatever. Like I care. I have two other fiancés, and probably more out there if I know my dad. If worse comes to worse, there's always Shampoo. Or Ucchan. Or maybe in extreme circumstances, Kodachi. Very extreme, twisted circumstances. I'll never wind up alone, while Akane sits out here in the woods with Prince Broomstick and cooks for him all day long. Until he gets eaten by one of those mega squirrels. Heh.

"Meeeeheeheeeh Raaan-maaa, I need to be with Shinnosuke" she whines. Cuh, nice one. Now how do I explain that to her father? "Er, 'scuse me Soun, but your beloved baby daughter has run off with some broom-wielding cleaner from Ryogenzawa, and will spend the rest of her days in a wooden box, revelling in her creepy new ability to cook edible soba." Cuh, what a waste.

"Eeeeeeeeheehheh Raaan-maaa, please, try to understand."

I understand alright…

Akane no baka!

God, I'm such a fool. I gave her a chance earlier to come home without things getting' weird. She didn't take it, so why the heck did I go and find her to see if she would if I tried again? Cleaner-boy was the most recent in a long line to admit undying love to MY fiancé - Bacon Breath almost had a heart-attack when Akane said that she could love him back. I think I know how he felt.

Not that *I* love Akane or nothin', but it's kinda like being beaten. Our parents decided that we'd get married not us, but still, she seemed like she was, I dunno, accepting it now. But I've gotta admit, that Shinnosuke guy is a pretty okay fighter, and he likes Akane so much he's willing to eat her toxic excuse for cooking every day for the rest of his life - which won't be long if Akane's culinary streak wears off.

I won't even try a cookie when Akane makes 'em…

It's a martial artist's pride… Akane was the best outta my fiancés… she may be a psychopathic macho-chick, and someone needs to give her mallet therapy, but compared to Kodachi she's perfectly sane. Ukyo's cute an' all, but it kinda creeps me out as I still see her as a guy. Shampoo… well, first off I don't wanna have to start off every morning for the rest of my life having to fight a heartbroken Mousse. Second of all, there's that whole… cat… thing… and thirdly, let's just say that there are some attentions even a sixteen year old guy doesn't want.

Becomin' a girl full time and dating Kuno is NOT an option.

Which leaves me with Akane. Well, it did before all this.

I guess it hurts because… she doesn't want me. She found someone better than me. I've been rejected.

I wonder if this means I'm not the heir to the dojo anymore…

Grrr. Akane no baka.

Huh? Urg. Ryoga. Perfect timing to lift my spirits. I guess asking him how he got here is a stupid question. Hey, back off man, right now. The jerk, raggin' on me because I 'let' Akane run off with Shinnosuke.

Ugh and now he's going on about how much he loves her. What is WITH all you guys? She's an uncute, macho-chick, tomboyish nightmare and for the last time she is MY fiancé! So now the idiot has gone off to fight some eight headed dragon thing, to get something that'll save her beloved Shinnosuke's life. Cuh, I bet she wouldn't do that for me.

Fine, I'll go and save her butt, as usual. I guess it's the least I can do (and her father will murder me if anything happens to her). And I know that this annoying squirmy feeling inside me won't go away if Akane dies. I don't care if she loves someone else, and neither does Ryoga. She is after-all, my fiancé - whether I like it or not.