Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Chasing Akane (DC) ❯ Part 2: The Meeting With Gainax ( Chapter 2 )

Chasing Akane-Part 2

Author's Notes: Just a couple of script terms that might confuse you C.U. means Close-Up and OC stands for off-camera. Now onto the story.

INT. Dimi-Chan and Silent Juton's Hotel Room, the next day

Dimi-Chan is fast asleep, cuddling a pink-haired girl close to her and still holding a whip in her hand.

A maid comes in, sees this, and slowly backs out of the room, grabbing the "Do Not Disturb" door thingy and putting it on the outside of the door...

Maid: They always forget that...

INT. Studio-Day

We're in Akane and Ryouga's Studio/Apartment. It apparently used to be a dojo, from it's....uh...dojo-like appearance. There are various posters on the walls, a little kitchen area, and a big-screen TV, complete with PS2 and DDR Dance Pad. There's a huge comfy couch, and two drawing boards with adjacent desks (littered with pencils, pens, coloring pencils, paints, erasers, etc)-at which sit Akane and Ryouga. They're working. Some J-Pop music plays in the background.

C.U. of Akane penciling. She's drawing Juton in a compromising position with a blank space shaped vaguely like a pig, and Dimi-Chan laughing her ass off in the background, holding a whip.

C.U. of Ryouga just finishing drawing in a pig for the previous page, where Dimi-Chan is just walking in on the situation. After he finishes, he grabs an ink pen and starts tracing over everything.

Akane (looking up briefly to see how Ryouga is doing): That pig I think might be your best-rendered one yet.

Ryouga: It's the one from the farm across the street.

Akane: Looks just like it...except one part looks slightly out-of-proportion. (a beat) But don't worry about that, it makes the image more outrageous.

Ryouga: Uh...thanks, I guess...so, what do you wanna do tonight?

Akane: I haven't thought about it yet.

The phone starts ringing. Akane answers it, while still drawing.

Akane: Hello?

Crosscut between Akane and Soun

He's on a phone in a club.

Soun: Hey, it's Soun. I know how much you guys hate the city, but there's a club shindig going down and I think you'd be interested.

Akane: Where is it?

Soun: At a place called the Half'nHalf. Really nice place, I'm temping there as a bar-keeper.

Akane: Well, I don't know, Sou; we're preping the next issue, and we've got out big Gainax meeting in the morning.

Soun: I told her you wouldn't be interested.

Akane: Told who?

Soun: Ranma.

Akane: Ranma Saotome? The girl from last night Ranma?

Soun: Wow, you began and ended that question with the same word, I'm impressed. Yes, that one. She asked me to invite you. Now here's the part where you say-

Akane: I'll be there.

Soun: You're just so predictable. It's at ten 'o clock, see ya there. (they both hang up)

Ryouga: Who was that?

Akane: Soun. He invited me to a club.

Ryouga: Oh. So when are we leaving?

Akane: "We"? You can't go. He's setting me up with Ranma.

Ryouga: And?

Akane: I don't want you screwing it up.

Ryouga: Like I've ever messed up anything for you before!! (beat) No, wait...I take that back.

Akane: Besides, how are you going to get home if I hook up?

Ryouga: Like that'll happen.

Akane: Let me explain something to you, pig boy, the other night in that bar, we two-Ranma and I shared a moment, alright!

Ryouga (sarcastically): Oh, how sweet-you had a moment!!

Akane (brings her two pointer fingers together): We shared a moment, and in that moment, one thing was made abundantly clear: this girl loves me my friend. Loves-me.

Ryouga: A moment, like that? Playing DDR Max?

Akane: Shut up.

INT. Half'nHalf-Night

It's a club (duh!)-people are mingling, a band is playing. But something's fishy. Soun's tending bar. He hands Juton a Root Beer Float. Dimi-Chan is standing next to him, as usual.

Dimi-Chan: Got the thermos ready?

Juton takes a sip of the float, then with his free hand points to the thermos strapped to his belt, and gives a thumbs up.

Dimi-Chan: You know what to do. And remember: this is necessary to the plot.

Juton nods then walks into the crowd.

Dimi-Chan motions to Soun.

Dimi-Chan: Hit me.

Soun hits her square in the face.

Dimi-Chan: Thanks. That'll feed my masochism fetish for the moment.

With that said, she too walks into the crowd.

Ryouga enters. He sits down at a chair at the bar.

Soun: The usual?

Ryouga: Of course.

Soun quickly mixes up some strange concoction and hands it over to Ryouga.

Soun: So, where's your better half?

Ryouga: Taking a piss. She's got a bladder like an infant.

Soun: Funny, she told me you're hung like an infant.

Ryouga: Must her mother tell her everything?!

Akane enters.

Ryouga: Well, the prodigal dyke has returned!

Akane: Where is she?

Soun: Over there...

ON THE DANCE FLOOR-in the middle of a bunch of people-dances Ranma. She's wearing a sparkly red top and a sparkly blue medium length skirt. She's dancing very gracefully and looks very sexy.

Soun (looking oc): Been dancing like that for an hour, non-stop.

They all stare OC.

Akane moves toward Ranma.

Soun: Wait, wait, wait.-there's something you should know.

Akane: She's got a girlfriend? Boyfriend?

Soun: Well...no.

Akane: Then what's there to know?

Akane heads off; Ryouga and Soun watch her go.

Ryouga (after a beat): She didn't really say that about my dick, did she?

ON THE DANCE FLOOR-Akane slips into the crowd and Dances up to Ranma. She intentionally bumps into her.

Ranma: Hey, hey hey-you fucked up my groove!

Ranma's Servant: I'm sorry: You have thrown off Ranma's groove.

Ranma: But enough with the Disney jokes.

Akane: Yeah, you can't make too many of those when Dimi-Chan is around.

Dimi-Chan (from BG): FUCKING PEDOPHILES!!

Akane: Actually, one is usually enough to set her off.

Dimi-Chan (from BG): FUCK YOU MICKIE MOUSE!! DAMN YOU TO BURN IN FUCKING HELL!! AND FUCK MICKIES PLAY HOUSE TOO!!

Elsewhere, Juton is giving the "It's THAT time of the month" look to the people who are staring at Dimi-Chan's antics.

Back on the stage...

The band stops playing.

The audience claps.

Singer (into the microphone): Thank you. Thanks. (after a pause for the roar of the crow to fade) A long time ago, we used to have a bass player who took off one day to draw funny mangas or something. Maybe you've read some of them, one's called "Two in One".

The crowd applauds, Ranma shakes her head, smiling, Akane pokes her.

Singer: But heh...she used to believe that she could actually sing...that's what the years of therapy were for, I guess. (crowd laughs). Well, for that reason we didn't let her do that, and well now you see how things turned out. Got famous...the bitch.

(crowd laughs again)

Singer: But she's here tonight, and maybe if we beg her enough, she would get up here and treat us to some of vocal stylings. (crowd applauds)

Singer: What do you say, Ranma?

Ranma shakes her head no. The crow urges her. Akane pushes her forward.

Singer: She's a bit shy. (yelling) GET UP HERE AND SING, BITCH!

The crowd thunders. Ranma offers the singer an embarrassed half-smile. She looks at Akane who claps along with the others and nods toward the stage. Ranma shakes her head once more and relents, heading through the crowd.

Ranma jumps on the stage, hugging the singer. She takes the mic, still shaking her head. The crowd is applauding as loud as ever.

Ranma: Okay. I should dedicate this, right? (thinks) This is for that special someone out there.

Ranma (singing):

Here's a scene-an empty, romantic beach

You and I are all alone

Playful times when we ran holding hands

It all goes still

Look that's in your eyes-it somehow scares me

What is there for us to fear?

In the skies...In the seas...In the waves

So far away

Ah! Don't think I can stand this feeling

Just the touch of your hand

Can't you see I still need some time?

'Till I'm read for love

(Meanwhile, high above in the rafters [note: this is to establish the timing of when everything happens during the song] Juton is busy trying to get the lid off the thermos and is clumsily thumbling around with it)

Ranma (continuing):

As you brush the sand away from my lips

Touch me so tenderly

We're so close I see myself in your eyes

Just where I want to be. (platonic)

Let's keep it friends-let's keep it friends for now

Come on, promise me. (Platonic)

Let's keep it friends-Let's keep it friends for now

Even though I love you!

Just as she finishes, hot water drips down just in front of her. (Ranma's eyes are closed, lingering on the final note and the audience just thinks it's some kind of stage effect). Above, Juton makes an "Oh shit!" face.

Then Ranma steps off the stage, and slips on the water, knocking into a table where Dimi-Chan happens to be sitting. She's "accidentally" spills her own thermos on him...wait-HIM?!

Dimi-Chan: Oh-I'm sorry! Let me make it up to you!

Dimi-Chan promptly starts making out with a dazed and confused male Ranma wearing a sparkly red top and a sparkly blue medium-length cut-off skirt.

Up above, Juton rolls his eyes.

Akane's eyes bug. Ryouga allows a smile to creep across his face. The crowd applauds. Ryouga looks around, and sees finally all the people playing around with hot and cold water transforming into various people and animals. At first, Ryouga is confused, then he sees a girl talking to a panda who is literally communicating with signs-he finally realizes what kind of of bar this is-a Junsenkyo Victims Bar!!

Ryouga looks at Akane and slaps her on the back.

Ryouga: Now that, my friend, is a...(brings his fingers together, imitating Akane)...shared moment!

Akane continues to stare-mouth agape.

Ranma and Dimi-Chan are still kissing. Ranma is still VERY confused.

INT. Half'nHalf-Later

Ryouga, Akane, and Ranma sit around a table.

Ryouga: Nyanneechuan, right?

Akane: What are you talking about?!

Ranma: Junsenkyo, spring of drowned girl...

Akane: I thought that was just something they made up for those comics Ryouga reads!

Ranma: I had to get some intense psychological therapy because of all the ways my father fucked me up!

Akane: So what are you? A guy or a girl?

Ranma: I lived more than half my life as a guy. But now I find it's easier to just be in girl form because the only place I USUALLY run into warm water is the shower. (accepts a glass of cold water) Thank you. (Pours it on...herself).

Ranma: I used to run into cold water all the time-well, it's more like it came to me. In any case this is much easier for me, now that I've accepted this body and the feminine side of my personality.

Akane still looks a bit shocked.

Ranma: Look, I'm sorry 'bout this. I wasn't sure you'd believe me if I told you, or that you'd think of me the same way.

Akane: Well, (looks at watch) Look at the time! We've got a meeting with Gainax tomorrow morning, so we need all the sleep we can get. So we'll just be heading out now.

Akane drags Ryouga out of the bar, on the way she bumps into a pink-haired girl.

Akane: Excuse me.

Akane pushes past her, the girl just smiles timidly.

Dimi-Chan: Oh, there you are! What was it this time?

Juton: Broken drinking fountain.

Dimi-Chan: Well, that'll make it easier for tonight. Let's go-Jutina!

Dimi-Chan starts to leave.

Juton (after Dimi-Chan): That's not funny.

"Jutina" exits.

Ranma steps up to Soun, who's still bartending.

Ranma: Akane didn't even ask about that weird girl who kissed me.

Soun: Oh, you mean Dimi-Chan?...she does that all the time.

INT. Gainax Exec's Waiting Room-Day

Akane looks preoccupied. Ryouga is reading the latest issue of a manga entitled "Junsenkyo Twins". It appears to be a hentai manga. ^^

A receptionist types, because that's part of her job.

Ryouga (off Akane's look): You're still dwelling on that nyann, aren't you?

Akane: Lower your voice.

Ryouga: Hey, all she probably needs is the right girl. All every half-girl, half-guy really wants-be it a J-Pop singer, martial artist, a Catholic (pauses, as if dwelling on the catholic part)-is some clit-to-clit action!

The receptionist stops typing and looks at Ryouga, Shocked.

Ryouga (off her look): Sorry…

The receptionist is suddenly a secretary and she goes back to typing.

The Gainax Exec pops out of his office.

Gainax Exec: Okay, we're ready for you guys now.

INT. Gainax Exec's Office

Exec 1: Well, what we are proposing is a series of half-hour shows.

Akane: But that catch is-?

Exec 2: The main characters need to be deeper. Like what is the reason that Baka doesn't talk so much?

Exec 1: We're thinking some deep-seated angst caused by being abandoned at an early age by his mother.

Exec 2: No, his father. His mother died.

Exec 1: Oh yes, his brother.

Exec 2: Check your hearing aid.

Exec 1: I'm not wearing a band aid…

Exec 2: HEARING AID!!

Exec 1: Oh (adjusts hearing aid). Now what was it about his dead sister?

INT. Gainax Exec's Waiting Room-Moments later

Akane comes storming out of the office with Ryouga just behind her.

Ryouga: I can't believe you just turned those guys down!

Akane: I don't care how much money they're offering-I won't let Hentai be a clone of Baka's dead mother!!

To be continued…