Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Couch Trips ❯ "Say the first thing that pops into your head" ( Chapter 1 )

Chapter 1

"Say the first thing that pops into your head"

The characters of Ranma

Ranma shuddered. "N-no thanks," stuttered Ranma.

Dr. Epstein made a note in a small pad he had pulled out of his jacket pocket. "Okay, then, why don't you tell me about Akane?"

"Why would I want to talk about that uncute, violent tomboy?" growled Ranma. "She never listens to me, always getting mad, hittin' me for the littlest things." Ranma clamped a hand over his mouth. 'What's wrong with me?' he thought. 'Why am I telling him that?' Ranma dropped his eyes to the ground in embarrassment.

"Sorry," Ranma muttered finally.

"For what?" the doctor asked quizzically. "Don't worry Ranma, whatever you say stays here. That's a promise."

Ranma looked at the doctor curiously.

"Ranma," sighed the doctor. "It doesn't help to bottle up everything inside. People need to be able to let off steam, confide in someone, just be able to gripe without worrying about upsetting someone. That's what people in my profession do. We provide a safe place for people to talk about there problems."

"Hey, Ranma Saotome don't need no help with no problems. I can handle it," said Ranma, puffing up his chest.

"Really? Like you handle Akane?" Dr. Epstein drawled as he raised his right eyebrow and looked at Ranma. "How well is that going? Hmmm?"

Ranma glared at Dr. Epstein, who just continued to look at him, right eyebrow still raised. A sudden chill washed over Ranma. For some reason it felt as if the doctor was looking right through him, right into the deepest darkest depths of his soul. Ranma dropped his eyes and stared at his feet, Silence hung heavy for a long moment. Then Ranma started to talk. "Not good at all," admitted Ranma. "I-I really like her, but she is so unreasonable. Always getting mad at me for no reason."

"No reason?" interrupted the doctor. "Surely she has some reason."

Ranma fidgeted in his seat. "Maybe, I guess," mumbled Ranma "But it's not my fault."

"Oh, and whose fault is it?" asked the doctor. "Listen, Ranma, Dr. Tofu told me a little about you. How your father engaged you to Akane and Ukyo Kuonji, your accidental engagement to-" He stopped talking for a second to look at his notebook, "Xian Pu. Is she really a Chinese Amazon?"

"Yeah," said Ranma. " 'cept we call her 'Shampoo'."

Dr. Epstein wrote something in his pad.

"Dr. Tofu also mentioned something about a Jusenkyo curse, but he didn't go into any detail. He said I wouldn't believe him and that it would be better if you showed me." Dr. Epstein looked at Ranma expectantly.

Ranma sighed. "I need some hot and cold water," he said finally.

Dr. Epstein left and came back a few minutes later with a couple thermoses, one black and one white. "The black one has hot water the white cold," said the doctor.

For a few seconds Ranma hesitated but with a deep breath poured some of the cold water from the white thermos on his head. Ranma felt the slight tingle that indicated the activation of the curse and where a tall (for a Japanese) black haired boy had sat was a short (even for a Japanese) red haired girl. "Hot water changes me back," said the girl and poured some of the hot water from the black thermos over his head and once again there sat, though now slightly damp, a teenage boy.

Dr. Epstein looked at Ranma with a strange expression on his face.

"What?" Ranma grumbled.

The Doctor didn't say anything for a few moments. "This is not what I expected." Said Dr. Epstein, blowing out a puff of air and ran one hand through his white hair. "How old are you Ranma?"

Not expecting the question, Ranma was silent for a moment and then stuttered "Seventeen, Why?"

"And how long have you been able to change genders?" inquired the doctor.

"Lessee, oh, I guess a little over a year," replied Ranma.

"In all that time, have you ever talked about this with anyone, a professional I mean?" the doctor persisted. "Someone like me?"

Ranma shook his head, then aloud. "Well I have talked to Dr. Tofu, does that count?"

"No, not really," replied the doctor. "Ono is a good physician but he really isn't trained for something like this. Hell I don't know anyone would is trained to deal with something like this. Look Ranma, I originally thought you just had the normal problems of a teenaged boy, but this is..." Dr. Epstein's voice trailed off.

Ranma looked at the doctor, worry etched on his face. "Ranma, a teenager has enough difficulty dealing with the normal strains of growing up. But this…" Dr. Epstein took a deep breath. " I can help you. I will help you." Dr. Epstein paused. "If you'll let me."

"Help me, how?" asked Ranma. "Can you cure my curse?" Ranma was suddenly excited, as a ray of hope illuminated his day.

Dr. Epstein shook his head in negation. "No, I don't really know anything about curses, but I do know a lot about emotional stress and trauma. I think I can help you come to terms with your curse."

Ranma was about to say something when Dr. Epstein looked at his watch. "We've got stop for today. I'd like you to come see me again, can you come, oh say, Thursday right after school?" Dr. Epstein handed Ranma a business card. "This is the address to my office, it's very close to here." The doctor looked at Ranma who was looking at the ground. "Cheer up Ranma! You've done very well on your own."

At those words, Ranma looked up with a startled look. "You don't think I'm not a real man because of my curse?" he asked.

Dr. Epstein gave Ranma a very hard look. "An interesting phrase; 'a real man'. It's important to you isn't it?"

"Well, yeah."

"I see." The doctor had a strange look on his face. "And of course turning into a girl." The doctor's voice trailed off again.

"Doc?"

"You should be very proud of how well you've handled how your life has turned out. I've worked with people who've had half the...problems you have and they did not handle it nearly as well." The doctor drummed his pen on the tablet he was writing on.

Doctor Epstein then walked Ranma to the foyer. Ranma put his street shoes back on and was soon ready to leave.

"Thanks for listening, doc."

"That's what I'm here for. Oh, and Ranma?" said the doctor. "I want you to try being nicer to Akane. You don't have to tell her you like her or anything, just tell her she looks nice or compliment something she does that you like. You'd be surprised how much that will help. Okay? And if she says something that bothers you, don't answer right away." The doctor smiled wryly. "Think about what you are want to say first."

"All right, doc. I'll try and thanks," said Ranma.

A little more cheerful Ranma left the office. Dr Epstein made a few notes in his pad before getting up and going to the door. Opening the door he called out, "Ono, it's time for your appointment."


The following Thursday eventually rolled around and Ranma was sitting at his desk waiting for the bell to rang signaling the end of another school day. He looked at the business card that he had gotten from Dr. Epstein for at least the 20th time that day.

"Should I or shouldn't I go" mused Ranma. For the past week he had been trying to be think before he spoke when talking to Akane. He wasn't really good at it, but the number of fights they had, had certainly lessened.

He snuck a glance over at Akane, who was busy paying close attention to the teacher's lesson. "She's so cute," thought Ranma "I wish I could tell her how I really feel about her. Feh, If I did she'd probably mallet me. Still she is so cute." A smile appeared on Ranma's face.

Just as Akane turned her head toward Ranma, Akane saw him smiling at her. 'Is he really smiling at me?' she asked of herself. Akane blushed furiously. 'Hmmph, he's probably thinking some real perverted thoughts,' thought Akane. 'But he has been nice recently.' She admitted to herself.

Akane smiled hesitantly back, causing Ranma to blush in return and quickly looked away in surprise.

"Did she just smile at me?" he said too softly for anyone to hear. He glanced back over, but Akane had returned her attention to the teacher. "Man, oh man, I got it bad for her and I don't know what to do about it. I am definitely gonna see Dr. Epstein."

Just then the bell rang and the afternoon exodus home began. A few minutes later Akane and Ranma were walking home together, or rather Akane was on the sidewalk while Ranma was fence walking again. But it was the same thing for them. As they walked Ranma kept glancing over at Akane. His thoughts kept returning to that moment when she had smiled at him. Hopping down from the fence, he began walking at her side.

"Uh, Akane?" asked Ranma.

"Yes, Ranma?"

Ranma blushed and finally said, "I just wanted to say that you look very nice today."

Akane stopped dead in her tracks, stunned. "He did it again! He said something nice about me." She thought to herself, then out loud. "Tha-Thank you Ranma," she stuttered, her cheeks turning a slight pink.

"Look, Akane, I have something I have to do right now. Do you mind walking the rest of the way home alone and telling everyone I'll be home in time for dinner?" And with that Ranma vaulted over the fence and was soon bouncing and leaping over fences and roofs.

Akane just stood there staring at his retreating form. She was fighting conflicting thoughts. Did Ranma only say that she looked nice to butter her up to take off? Or did he mean it?

But he didn't have to ask her to tell the family. It wasn't like he didn't take off all the time. She finally turned and walked off.

In a few minutes, Ranma was at the address that Dr. Epstein had given him and rang the doorbell. A few moments later the door opened to reveal the doctors kindly face. He was wearing jeans and wearing a black and red patterned t-shirt that he wore over his jeans.

"Hello Ranma, right on time. Come on in," said the doctor.

Ranma entered and took off his shoes and replaced them with a pair of slippers that were there for that purpose.

Soon Ranma and the doctor were in his office, drinking tea and just relaxing. Ranma looked around the office. Along the wall just behind the doctor was a large bookshelf, packed with a bewildering variety of reference manuals, books and even a few scrolls. To Ranma 's right were three drums of a very primitive style. To his left was a small altar of some sort. All Ranma could tell was that the shrine was not Buddhist but what it was he couldn't tell. The walls were covered with pictures, photos and even some masks, also of a very primitive construction. About the only thing he could compare it to was some of the archives he had run across during some of his trips to China.

Finally Dr. Epstein put his cup down with a sigh and addressed Ranma. "Ranma, I want you to do a little free association. OK?"

"Sure, What's that?" asked Ranma

"Well basically, I going to say a word and I want you to say the first thing that pops into your head. It's very important that you DON'T think about your answer. Just say whatever first occurs to you. Do you understand?" explained the doctor.

Ranma scratched the back of his head. "I think so," he replied after a moment.

"Excellent, shall we begin?" And Dr. Epstein looked on curiously.

Dr. Epstein said quickly, "Black"

"White."

"Up," the older man said

"Down."

"School."

"Sleep," Ranma said brightly. This was going to be easy.

"Boy."

"Girl."

"Girl."

"Weak." Ranma frowned. Why'd he say that?

Dr. Epstein raised his hand in a halting motion. "Now that is an interesting response. Why does girl make you say weak?"

"Ahhh, Pops always said girls were weak," replied Ranma.

"Okay, let's continue," said the doctor. He made an entry into his notebook.

"Tree."

"Green."

"Water."

"Curse," Ranma replied without thinking.

"Curse.

"Girl."

Dr. Epstein raised his hand again. "Tell me Ranma, do you feel weak when you become a girl?"

Ranma was silent for a second. "Yeah! No! I mean, I'm strong in my girl form, not as strong as when I'm a guy of course. But I'm pretty strong for a girl."

"Tell me about Akane. Is she weak?" asked the doctor.

"Jeez, no. That tomboy is as strong as a bull." Replied Ranma a hint of pride in his voice. "Heck, she's nearly as strong as Ryoga." Before he could ask Ranma continued, "Ryoga is this guy that I'm always fighting. He's really strong."

"But you think girls are weak," persisted the doctor. "What about Akane? Does she think she is weak because she's a girl?"

"Well, no. I guess not. I mean she can punch through a brick wall and she's always askin' me to train her and everything, but Pops' says-" Ranma stopped abruptly. "Jeez, listen to me quoting Pops. He's never been right about nothin'. Heck it's his fault I got this curse and all those fiancées and everything."

"So," said the doctor. "You think you're pretty strong when you're a girl, Akane thinks she is strong and she's always a girl. How about the rest of your fiancées? Are any of them 'weak girls'?"

"Hell no," retorted Ranma hotly. "Ukyo can hold her own against most people. I can barely beat Shampoo, Akane ain't too bad in a fight either." The last was said with more than a hint of pride, which surprised Ranma. "Heck if I did train Akane she probably would end up being the best fighter of all of them."

"So why don't you?" asked the doctor.

"Cuz Pops-" Ranma stopped, appalled at where his thoughts started to go.

"It's always difficult when you find out your parents are human, isn't it? That they can make mistakes." Said the doctor kindly "This is all part of growing up, as a child your parents teach you how to be an adult, but sometimes as you get older you find that the lessons they gave you aren't exactly right. Growing up means taking responsibility for your own action, and not just because 'Pops says'. It's a testament to both you and your father that you try to follow his advice, that you respect what he says. But, let me ask you one question."

"What's that?" asked Ranma.

"Are you happy?" the doctor replied.

"Happy?" asked Ranma "What do you mean?"

"Come now, Ranma," said the doctor while wagging a finger. "It's an easy question. Are you happy? Do you like your life? Are things going the way you want? You know, 'happy'."

"Well, no, not exactly," admitted Ranma.

"No?" questioned the doctor "Not exactly? I would think you had everything to be happy about. A happy home." Ranma flinched. "A loving family." Ranma flinched again. "Popular with girls." Ranma shuddered. "Good friends."

"Doc, you have any idea what my life is like?" moaned Ranma. The doctor shook his head. "A happy home. Yeah, right," continued Ranma. "My Pop has mooched or stole just about everything we have and up until recently I couldn't even talk to my mom without worrying she'd make me commit seppuku if I wasn't manly enough."

"Go on," commanded the doctor gently.

"I am engaged to three women, four if you count Kodachi." The doctor made a notation in his pad. Ranma continued, "They're all the time tryin' to get me to marry them."

"Even Akane?" said the doctor.

"Well, maybe not Akane." Admitted Ranma "But she hits me. Hell Ukyo hits me, Shampoo hits me and drugs me, and Kodachi hits, poisons and drugs me."

"I see," murmured the doctors "Well, aren't there any boys your age that you can hang
out with?"

"Oh sure. Lots," said a sarcastic Ranma. 'Let's see. There's Kuno, who attacks me with his bokken when I'm a man and tries to date me when I'm a girl. Mousse who tries to kill me because he loves Shampoo and Ryoga who tries to kill me because he loves Akane."

"Well isn't there anyone you can be friends with?" asked the doctor.

"Doc, you don't understand," said Ranma "These ARE my friends."

Ranma hung his head; his elbows resting on his knees while his hands gripped the back of his head. One hand began tugging on his pigtail. "Doc?" asked Ranma his voice husky with held emotion. "Ya got any cold water?"

Wordlessly, Dr. Epstein reached over to a carafe that was sitting on his desk and handed it to Ranma.

Ranma poured the cold water over his head, and then she began to cry.


End chapter 1