Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Escape from Ranma Saotome! ❯ Making Way For the Homo Superior: A lesson in quitting the Dick ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

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Legal Disclaimer: How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?

ESCAPE FROM RANMA SAOTOME!
Presented by The Anonguy Workshop

[Step 2: Making Way for the Homo Superior]
A lesson in quitting the dick

“Shampoo no understand why we is not in bed right now, sleeping everything off,” The Ex-Amazon said as she and Akane made their way towards Ukyo’s place.

“There’s two reasons, really,” Akane said, looking sidelong at the other girl. “We check and make sure that Ukyo is staying legit since Ranma ran off into the night, and we get this whole job thing out of the way. Sooner we get you a job, the less anyone else can complain.”

“Shampoo sure they not argue with Nice Girl about it.”

“It’s not Kasumi I’m worried about,” Akane assured her new friend. “It’s getting annoyed by Daddy or Nabiki about it.” Especially the latter, she couldn’t wait for Nabiki to get back from that class trip she was on.

“Plus give Shampoo leg up on Ranma.” Shampoo laughed a little. “At least Shampoo pay own way, unlike freeloader before.”

Akane nodded with a thoughtful hum, before she saw Ucchan’s come into view. “Okay, we’re coming up on it now. Try not to put too much pressure on her, and maybe we’ll get you job.”

“Shampoo hope it work.” Shampoo didn’t want to express any doubts on Ukyo just yet. That was better left to saying in front of her so she can at least see the reaction.

“It will.” Akane said, without any major reason too. Reaching the door, she knocked on it in a slightly urgent manner.

“Oh hey you two,” Ukyo said after she answered her door, strangely still awake. “Didn’t expect you to be by at all.”

“Figured we’d stop in, discuss a few things with you,” Akane said, playing things off. “Keep you up to date on things.”

“I heard from Ranma the Cat Cafe closed down,” Ukyo said to Shampoo, offering some sympathy. “I guess the old ghoul didn’t take your decision well.”

“Eh, it went how Shampoo expected,” Shampoo said with no real bitterness evident. “We come in and continue talk yes?”

“Oh, shoot sorry, sorry!” Ukyo had been caught off guard by them showing up she had forgotten her manners. “Come on in and take a seat somewhere.”

The two walked in, both visitors taking a seat by the griddle. “Ranma was flipping out when he came home, what exactly did you say to him?” Akane asked.

Ukyo went behind the griddle, and started it up. “Just that I couldn’t keep feeding him for free, and that the engagement is off. I tried to let him down as easy as I could–he’s still my friend and all. He just left, all quiet and stuff, didn’t say a word after I asked him to leave.”

Shampoo smirked. “That funny. Ranma came in saying Shampoo brainwash Spatula girl, think I do same to Tomboy.”

“Well you can’t blame him for thinking that, remember that jewel?” Ukyo pointed out.

Akane certainly did, having been reminded of it with Ranma’s idiotic outburst earlier. “Anyway, with Granny gone back to China and the Cate Cafe closed down, Shampoo’s staying with me.”

“But Shampoo no mooch, so need job.”

Ukyo grabbed some ingredients from the cooler behind her. “Hang on, you’re fine with her living with you?”

Akane nodded. “She’s my responsibility, now.”

“What’s going to happen to Ranma and his Pop?”

Akane shrugged her shoulders. “It’s not really my problem anymore, they can go over it with Daddy.”

With practiced skill and superb speed, Ukyo whipped up a batch of okonomiyaki batter and began pouring out some onto the now hot griddle. “That’s going to be awkward, I have room over here.”

“No, it’s fine,” Akane said.

Shampoo nodded in agreement. “Shampoo want to stay there. Mess with Ranma head long time.”

Ukyo rolled her eyes. “You’re enjoying this, huh sugar?”

“Always have!”

In hindsight, Akane noted, for someone who loved Ranma much as she claimed, Shampoo certainly did enjoy hurting him at every opportunity… mainly with a well-aimed bicycle. Putting her hands up on the counter, she drummed her fingers and let out a small laugh.
“I exploded at him, when I told him,” she admitted to Ukyo.

“Oh my, I never would’ve envisioned that,” Ukyo cheekily replied.

“I didn’t hit him, though.”

Ukyo, cheekiness muted, gave Akane a surprised look. “Come again?”

“He said something stupid when our Dads got heard you and Shampoo dumped him, and I just got so angry that I didn’t even want to hit him. I laughed, that’s how angry I was.” She continued drumming her fingers. “He said he didn’t want to be just stuck with me as his fiancée.”

Maybe, Ukyo thought, she was too nice. “He said that?!”

Shampoo confirmed it with a nod. “Ranma say ‘don’t want to be stuck with uncute tomboy’, when crybaby old man tell him to marry.”

“That ass!” Ukyo yelled.

Akane waved it off. “Don’t worry about it, I said everything I needed to.” There was no point getting mad at him about it now, she had gotten everything out that she had wanted to say.

“Damn girl, I dunno if I could have held back on smashing his face into the ground if he said something that insensitive to me.” Ukyo shook her head as she flipped the okonomiyaki over, wondering if all the ideas she had about Akane were viewed from the side that got annoyed at Ranma to the point of exploding.

“Well, I was about to hit him, when I remembered that I still had to tell him about me.” Akane leaned back in her seat and laughed. “It felt so much better than any of the times I hit him.”

“Shampoo think it because you know he no longer problem,” Shampoo pointed out, drawing their attention. “You hit him, he come back because he too too stupid not think that hitting is bad. But now, you is telling him he not wanted. He come back now, no more worry about his feelings.”

Akane nodded her head to the former Amazon’s reasoning. “You’re right. How he feels about me or anything else isn’t my concern anymore. It’s like I’m finally free of all this crap going on.”

“Not entirely, I’d wager.” Ukyo said, serving the pair an okonomiyaki each. “But you pulled yourself free from the anchor so now all that’s left is swimming back to shore.”

“Oh everything isn’t all smiles and sunshine yet, but yes at least I’m pulling myself free.” Akane fished out enough yen for both okonomiyaki and set it down on the counter. “Thanks for the food.”

“You don’t need to pay.” Ukyo looked down at the money in confusion.

“Isn’t that what got you in trouble with Ranma?” Akane asked, smiling a little. “I’d like for us to be friends and I don’t want you to replace one person who’d abuse your trust with another.”

“I, uh, thanks.” Ukyo smiled a bit, relieved and feeling just a tiny bit awkward. She took the yen and let them eat their okonomiyaki.

“So, give Shampoo job?”

Ukyo glanced around the restaurant and the presently empty tables she could already envision being full with the new business set to come in now following today. “Well, I could use the help, with all the people Cat Cafe just lost they’ll be coming my way.”

And with whatever idea she knew Ranma was going to come back with in an attempt to woo her or any of them back. After all, he went hard at getting Shampoo to love him again, there was no telling what he’d do to become the star of his own show again.

Shampoo nodded. “Could help expand menu, too. Shampoo good, good cook.”

Ukyo’s eyebrows rose. “Expanding the menu, huh? That would help scoop up Cat Cafe’s revenue for sure. When can you start?”

“Tomorrow,” Shampoo quickly replied.

“Well then, you’re hired,” Ukyo said with a cheerful smile. “Be here by nine a.m. so we can get started on your training.”

Akane had already eaten half of her okonomiyaki. “That went easier than I expected.”

Ukyo smirked. “That’s a theme today, huh?”

“Things never go this well, something’s going to happen soon and it’s going to be terrible,” Akane lamented.

“Sounds like you speak from experience,” Ukyo noted.

“Well, you two should know about how things go from good to bad to worse around here as well as anyone else.”

Shampoo pouted. “What that mean?”

“Means exactly what I said.” Akane stuffed the last of her okonomiyaki into her mouth with that.

“At least we won’t be the ones pullin’ the carpet from under each other, right?” Ukyo asked as Shampoo gave Akane a mild glare.

“There’s that,” Akane finally replied, “But that doesn’t mean people won’t be lining up down the street to pull it from under us anyway.”

Shampoo nodded assent. “Yeah, stupid Mousse probably on way back.”

Ukyo sighed. “Ranma’s going to have some kind of plan to try to ‘win’ this battle we’ve started.”

“And I’ve got to deal with Daddy, my sisters, Happosai, and Kuno leading the charge of every boy at my school wanting to date me.”

The silence that followed was broken by Ukyo’s optimism. “But hey, we’re all friends here now, right? So we’ll be there for each other, a unified front!”

Shampoo smiled. “Sounds good.”

Akane let out a small sigh, and smiled. “That’s right, we should be able to handle this if we work together as friends.”
Finishing her okonomiyaki, Shampoo wiped her face with a napkin and got up. “Well, Shampoo tired and work in morning. We go home?”

“Yeah.” Akane got up, and as she tossed out their paper plates, Ukyo came over and gave her a hug. “Ah?”

“Thanks, sugar,” Ukyo whispered. “This really was a good idea, we’re all going to come out of this better for it.”

Akane returned the hug, and nodded slowly. “I know, I know.”

Pulling away, Akane gave Ukyo a bright smile and left with Shampoo after a final wave goodbye.

- - -

“It’s finally time for bed,” Akane said to herself as she finished changing into her pajamas, thoroughly exhausted from everything. “I’ll probably miss school tomorrow because I’m going to sleep for the next 3 days.”

Akane stretched, arching her back as she turned away from Shampoo.

Shampoo simply slid out of her clothes, not even concerning herself with anything else but getting to sleep. “Shampoo still sore from today, but get to sleep in nice bed work to make up for it.”

“Yeah I…” Akane stopped with one knee on her mattress as she caught Shampoo’s completely nude form in one of her eyes. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Getting ready for sleep.”

“N-naked?!”

“Shampoo turn to cat too too many times before, get stuck in bed clothes. Not very fun,” Shampoo explained, taking a casual stance that did nothing to hide her nudity.

That made sense, but it didn’t stop Akane from flushing just a tad. Not even Ranma, in his full cluelessness of womanly things, was this brazen about being naked. “I can understand that, but…”

“But…?”

There were too many things to explain and not even time to do so before she’d just fall over asleep. Akane decided that since she was tired, she was reacting way too much for something so innocuous. “Fine, let’s just go to bed.” Akane finished climbing into bed, but was denied sleep by Shampoo poking her in the side. “What?”

“We share bed yes? Shampoo not sleep on floor like dog.” The bed was small, but Shampoo had slept on a pile of straw before, so she wasn’t going to complain.

“But you’re naked!”

“Shampoo already explain reason for that. Make room for Shampoo, or give up bed entirely.” The Former Amazon was trying to be nice, but things wouldn’t be happening if she hadn’t been convinced to give up on Ranma and be exiled.

Akane bit her lip, realizing that she was being unreasonable. They had forgotten to grab a futon for her to sleep on, so now here they were.

“Shampoo no understand you, Shampoo grow up sleeping with Amazon sisters. First thing she has to learn is sleep alone, very cold and lonely.” It wasn’t exactly an appeal to emotion, but Shampoo felt it would be easier to ply her this way instead of starting another fight.

“Okay, just for tonight. We’ll get you a futon as soon as we can, alright?” Akane scooted over, holding the blanket up for Shampoo.

“Thank you.” Shampoo said it simply, but with a cute little smile on her face. As the exiled Amazon slid into bed with Akane, the youngest Tendo tried to get her embarrassment under control. “Why is you so hung up on Shampoo being naked?”

“I’m not used to people just spontaneously being naked.” Akane didn’t turn around, nor did she react to Shampoo coming into contact with her as the purple haired girl settled in.

“Shampoo not pervert.”

“I know, it’s a culture thing.”

“Not worry about it, Shampoo keep hands to self as long as you hands behave themselves.” Shampoo grinned, even though Akane couldn’t see it. “Then we find out which of us may be pervert in disguise.”

Akane elected to say nothing and just settle into bed, trying to go to sleep.

“Goodnight.”

“Yeah, goodnight.”

- - -

The next morning proved to be very different indeed, as the lack of combat noises at the first hint of dawn signaled that Ranma had not returned after last night. It was certainly idyllic and lacking in the usual hustle and/or bustle that usually went down at this time. This meant that Akane’s long forgotten, but still faithfully set, alarm clock actually got to sound off with her still asleep in bed instead of being shut off by Kasumi later.

However, this proved to be a bad thing for the time telling device as it was silenced by a rather violent swing of Shampoo’s fist. The resultant crash did wake Akane up, who slithered out from bed like her bones had turned to konnyaku jelly. Without a thought to Shampoo, who proceeded to hog the bed, Akane gathered her bathing supplies and went to do her usual morning routine.

It was around the time she was in mid-scrubbing that her brain came online and started blaring alarms as she had not registered getting out of bed.

“Why can’t we just get rid of school entirely?” Akane complained, dousing herself with cold water to rinse off and fully shocking herself to full alertness. “I at least have a little to time soak and eat.” Despite it being later than when she used to get up, she had the bathroom free and clear, with nothing else to really distract her. Things were starting to make sense again, even as she ignored who she had slept in the same bed as last night.

Time passed and Akane was making her usual spirited dash to school. Even though she couldn’t shake the weird feeling about how foreign it was not to have a certain pigtail bearing jerk annoying her, she could still enjoy the peace. That enjoyment was fleeting as she saw a familiar sight ahead of her, and she jogged to a halt before the large crowd of boys waiting just inside the gates of the school.

“What are you all doing here?” She really didn't need to ask, but she had to confirm her fears.

“Akane,” one of the boys spoke with hope in his voice, “Is it true that you dumped Ranma for good? He's not your fiancé anymore?”

Well there it was. “Yes, I dumped that jerk for good. But I'm not looking for a boyfriend.”

Like that stopped them before, she inwardly reminded herself as the boys began cheering. Some even began crying profusely, tears of joy.

“Akane, now that you are single, we will take up arms for the right to date you once again!” the same boy in the crowd loudly declared.

Bristling, Akane clenched her book bag in her fingers. “This is my only warning! I don't want to date any of you stupid boys!”

“That's for our fists to decide!” many of the boys declared together as they charged.

“I won't lose this time!” a few shouted.

“I'll make you go out with me!” one voice stood out.

“I want to see your panties!” That one made Akane see red.

“Well, if you are tired of living, who am I to not grant your wish for oblivion and total absolution!” Akane fired up, loosening her arms and legs as she prepared to dive into the sea of boys coming towards her.

“Akane!” This voice came from her side and was most definitely not male. In fact, she immediately recognized the voice as Ukyo's.

“I didn’t think you were coming in with your preparations for changing up your restaurant!” Akane turned to the okonomiyaki chef, who smiled at her.

“I wasn’t, but what you said last night got to me.” Ukyo turned and threw several mini-spatulas, which halted the horde for the moment. “But we’re friends, right? And what kind of friend leaves their friends to fight alone against a mob?”

Akane smiled, feeling a slight bit of relief. Instead of it being Ranma patronizing her and making her feel pathetic, here was someone who wanted to help her out and didn’t mind saying so. “Thanks! Let’s kick their asses so you can go back to work!”

“Yeah!” Ukyo charged forward and swung her battle spatula, the oversized cooking implement breaking about the gathered boys like an oar scattering the sea.

Akane’s fist found its home in the face of the nearest boy to her, sending him toppling end over end. Several of the boys, the weakest and most pragmatic of the group, realized that they were about to take on both Ukyo and Akane together and quietly noped the fuck out and ran while the running was good. Which turned out to be good as Akane backhanded another boy, sending him flying into the wall.

“Today’s special is pain!” Ukyo roared, laughing as another wide swing caught one of the horde and sent him tumbling away. “Don’t worry about payment boys, it’s on the house!” Ukyo jammed the spatula into the ground and threw herself into a flying kick that would make Liu Kang green with envy.

“Come on!” Akane yelled, smashing a football player down with her school satchel. “Numbers didn’t work before, the least you could have done is gotten stronger!” Pivoting off her left foot, Akane surged forward like an imperious wave, her punch sending the new captain of the Sumo club flying like he was a leaf on the wind.

“One beat down pervert, order up!” Ukyo swept up the vice captain of the Tennis club, flipping him up into the air like a human okonomiyaki, only to be intercepted by the sumo club captain turned surface-to-air missile.

The effectiveness of the duo had already caused the horde to begin breaking down, as any of the ones who were by Ukyo turned and fled back to the safety of the school.

The same, however, could not be said for Akane’s half. This, however, was not out of some misplaced bravery, but rather they just couldn’t get away from the buzzsaw Akane had turned into. Bodies flew into the air as the cyclonic Tendo smashed through them without remorse. The last boy, who was a newbie to the karate club, stood pat in defiance.

“Huh, one of them didn’t run away,” Ukyo observed, as Akane squared off with the kid.

“I am no coward!” the boy yelled without fear. “Others may think you unbeatable, but that is because they are weak! I am strong! Stronger than all!”

“Oh brother,” Akane said, brushing some hair away from her face. “Look kid, there’s a time to walk away from any fight and this is it.”

“That talk is the talk of the weak!” The boy assumed a fighting pose. “Ossu! My name is-” He was cut off as Akane suddenly appeared in front of him and kicked him over the school.

“I really don’t care,” Akane said, though feeling sorry for picking on what’s his name. Whatever it was, and however badass it was supposed to be, he’d have to settle for intimidating the roof of the school with it.

“That’s cold… is what I’d say if he wasn’t assaulting you,” Ukyo said, shaking her head as Akane dusted her hands. “I didn’t know it was like this.”

“They stopped a long time before you arrived,” Akane replied with an annoyed tone, before stretching a little. “They’re even weaker than before, which is sad.”

“They stopped because of Ranma huh?” Ukyo guessed at Akane’s frustration.

“Yeah, it was something I was slightly grateful to him for… but we know how gratitude and Ranma mix.” Akane rolled her eyes.

“Like oil and water eh?” Ukyo replied, before checking her watch. “Welp, I got to go, need to finish setting up for things with Shampoo.”

“Thanks for the help.” Akane extended a hand.

“Glad to help.” Ukyo shook the proffered hand, before turning and sprinting away.

One of the girls, who had watched the battle unfolded, summed it up for the school at large:

“What the hell did we just see?”

- - -

Not one day. Not even twelve hours had gone by and Akane had to crush another horde of boys looking to fill the void Ranma left. Kuno hadn't even gotten back from wherever she had punted him off to, but she knew very well how he was going to react. She was sure the buffoon already knew that she and Ranma were done, and was preparing for some big, dramatic spectacle.

She was also certain that he could offer her all the tea in China and freedom for Tibet and she was still going to beat him over the head with whatever white horse he rides in on!

“Akane, is everything okay?” Yuka, one of Akane's closer classmates, rested her hands on her desk to her right. To her left was Sayuri, her arms akimbo as she regarded Akane with worry

“The boys were practically rioting before you got here. They were saying that you and Ranma broke up,” Sayuri said quietly.

Akane nodded. “That's absolutely right. I don't want anything to do with him anymore.”

Both girls stared at Akane, less worried and more incredulous. To say she found this disconcerting was a bit of an understatement. “What?”

“You're not serious, are you?” Yuka asked.

Akane recoiled. “Why would I not be?!”

“Because he's your fiancé, isn't he?” Yuka asked.

“Yeah, he may be a jerk sometimes, but he means well, doesn't he?” Sayuri asked.

“Yeah, meaning well only goes so far! There's a point where you have to give up on a bad relationship and I was an idiot for not doing this sooner.”

Sayuri cringed. “The date at the festival went that bad?”

“Exploding chickens and Ultranationalists, Sayuri! And all of it was his fault.”

“Still…” Yuka began, and paused briefly when Akane turned her attention to her. “… Can you get back together with him?”

Akane reacted to the question, of course, with stunned disbelief. “What.”

“Well you looked so cute together…” Yuka's weak excuse trailed off when Akane's disbelief melted into anger.

“If you think he and I fighting every day was cute, then by all means, date that jerk yourself to get the full experience!”

Sayuri reacted to the prospect of dating Ranma with horror. “What? No, I don't have that kind of patience!”

“And I ran out, so sorry but no. I'm not going back to him to be your daily sideshow!”

“Well can you get back with Ranma so the boys will stop going after you?” Yuka pleaded.

“I'm sorry, what?”

“If you're really single again then every boy is going to be after you! Including the really hot boys, like Daimon-kun and Ishida-sempai!” Yuka explained.

Akane remembered those two, Ukyo had destroyed them both in the brawl, but that was moot. “I'm definitelty not getting back together with Ranma because you two want to date some stupid, worthless boys!”

“It's not just us, though,” Sayuri pleaded, “Some have dumped their girlfriends because you're available!”

“No I'm not-!” Akane then stopped. “Wait, seriously?”

Both girls nodded. “Five minutes ago, Masaki-san dumped Yayoi in the hall because he 'had a second chance with Akane-chan'. She ran crying into the bathroom!” Sayuri said.

Yuka nodded. “Boys get so dumb when you're involved. If you get back with Ranma this will stop, but really any boy will do!”

Akane was at a loss of words. Were they really this stupid? Were all boys just this absolutely stupid when it came to her?

“I… I can't…” Akane slowly shook her head, her hands began to shake.

“Please, Akane?” Sayuri begged.

“Please, at the very least so we can at least not have to deal with the morning ritual again, okay? We'll even help you find a boy who isn't completely awful.”

There was a loud crack that turned every head in the classroom to Akane. She had broken her desk slamming her fists onto it. Panting, her entire body shaking in barely suppressed rage, Akane slowly stood up from her chair as her two friends backed from her in fright.

“A boy that isn't completely awful…?” Akane's voice was deathly calm, but the tension in it was unmistakable. And then, the tension broke.

“ALL BOYS ARE COMPLETELY AWFUL! I HATE THEM ALL AND I WILL NEVER DATE ANOTHER BOY AS LONG AS I LIVE!”

Her outburst was met with dead calm once again, as she stood there panting. Looking around at her fellow classmates, some of them the boys she'd trashed not too long before, she turned away and walked out of her classroom, badly repressing a sad sniffle.

- - -

Outside, there were still many boys picking themselves up after the vicious and one-sided battle. None of them expected to succeed, except maybe the kid Akane punted onto the roof, but the message had been sent. If Akane was going to be single, then they were going to honor Kuno's challenge to prove their worthiness to be her boyfriend by defeating her in savage combat.

While optimistic about future battles, there was an unspoken agreement that they needed a new strategy… and to convince Kuonji to not get involved again.

“How can spatulas hurt so much?” One boy sitting among the unconscious bodies and walking wounded was complaining of Ukyo's vicious prowess as a shadow fell over him.

“What happened here?” Ryoga Hibiki was dumbstruck at the scale of destruction here. “D-did Ranma do this?”

The boy looked up at Ryoga. “Hey, Hibiki when did you get here?”

Ryoga was purely horrified. “Why? Who would do something like this?!”

The boy blinked slowly. “Oh, Akane did this… though Kuonji helped…”

Ukyo and Akane did this? Well, it certainly explained the thoroughness of the attack. “But why?”

“We uh… we challenged Akane to a duel, because if we beat her, we would be worthy enough to date her. We uh… all lost.”

“Did you say if you can beat her you can date her?!” Ryoga's brief excitement was doused by what constituted as a conscience reminding him that even thinking about hurting Akane was horrible and punishable by honorable suicide. A much more important detail distracted him from self-murder.

“Wait, Akane is already dating Ranma!” Much as he hated it, it was a fact.

“Not anymore, she dumped him yesterday and even ended the engagement…”

Or not. “W--what? She dumped him?”

“Yeah, that creepy voodoo kid came running to school earlier shouting it from the top of his lungs until he passed out, and then Akane confirmed it.”

Ryoga was ready to shout from the top of his lungs until he passed out. Akane had done it, she finally saw how terrible Ranma was and broke up with him!

“This… THIS IS GREAT!” Ryoga could not be happier. Now nothing could stop him, he could tell Akane exactly how he felt without being rejected because she loved Ranma!

Oh Akane, I never gave up hope for this day! You and Ranma are through, now I can tell you everything I wanted to tell you, I'm so happy! And he got happier, when he saw Akane march out the front doors of the school, her head bowed and her shoulders hitched up. Wait, she looked upset. “Akane?”

Upon hearing his voice Akane looked up and stared at Ryoga, before tears began to blur her vision. Finally, a boy she didn't totally hate. Before he could say anything else, she flung herself to him and hugged him tightly as she began to cry.

“R-Ryoga…!” She sniffled pathetically in a mix of relief and despair.

- - -

“Shampoo hear rumors about morning thing, thought people exaggerate,” Shampoo admitted as she reviewed the restaurant open checklist. Aside from some difficulty finding some things, opening Ucchan’s was no different from opening the Cat Cafe.

Ukyo shook her head. “I always thought Akane-chan was exaggerating too, cuz you know with how Ranma and Kuno are. But man… there were easily a hundred boys out there and they all wanted to beat her up. I mean, sure they were easy as pie to beat but she had to deal with that every day for weeks before.”

Shampoo let out an amused snort. “Shampoo would hate boys too if had to endure that.”

Ukyo sat down on a stool behind her griddle and sighed. “Being engaged to Ranma didn’t help that at all. I’m honestly surprised she’s not a stone-cold misandrist for what she’s had to deal with. Though it does explain some other things…”

Another amused sound left Shampoo’s lips. “Like how Ranma not make Tomboy’s panties wet like he do ours?”

A blush bloomed across Ukyo’s face. “Ah, crude!”

“Say boy-talkin’ crossdresser.”

Ukyo coughed to clear her throat and tried to banish her blush. “I wouldn’t say it in as many colorful words, but yeah… the only time Akane would really show any attraction to him is when she was under the influence of something, like the Reversal Jewel. Any other time you had to twist her arm to get her to admit she had any positive feelings towards him!”

Shampoo nodded assent at that. “She really no better than him for that, but he demon loving only himself. Tomboy, she just not attracted.”

Ukyo let out a thoughtful hum. “Do you think she even realizes it?”

“No, but it there. Shampoo see Tomboy sleep before, she get super violent when anyone near her.”

“Like the Spring Sleep Incense.” Ukyo recalled that fiasco with a grimace. “What’s the point?”

“Yeah, but Shampoo sleep with Akane last night. She no get violent, she get cuddly.”

One of Ukyo’s eyebrows arched. “Cuddly?”

“In sleep, whole night. She hug Shampoo and be really peaceful.” Shampoo smiled. “When go to bathroom, she ask for not to go in sleep, and when came back, she cuddle again and be happy.”

Ukyo shook her head. “Wow, so it’s really written on the wall. Should we… confront her about it?”

Shampoo shook her head. “She figure it out sooner or later, but something for her to figure out. We supportive, though.”

“I never would’ve figured someone from a boondock village in China would be so progressive,” Ukyo murmured.

Shampoo snorted haughtily. “Joketsuzoku ahead of world.”

Ukyo openly rolled her eyes at that. “Oh, I’m sure.”

- - -

Wiping her tears with one of his bandannas, Akane sat next to Ryoga by the unoccupied baseball diamond of Furinkan High School, trying to recover her composure after crying her frustration into his shirt for the last five minutes. “I’m so sorry, Ryoga… I’m just s-so… frustrated, angry! God, I hate them, I hate all of them!”

For all of his devotion, Ryoga was… uncomfortable. He had seen her angry before, but those had been good times, when she was mad at Ranma and everything was good in the world. But he, who lived in an indifferent ocean of ignorance, had really no idea what was going on. Not in how she felt about anything or anyone else.

And that was the rub of it all; no one else really did. Akane shouldn’t have been surprised by the reaction of her friends, they had always been self-centered like that. It was just after so long in Ranma’s presence that she had grew deaf and dumb to their indifference.

The most popular girl in school and not a single one really cared about how she felt.

Akane let loose a bitter laugh, rocking Ryoga back on his heels. “I get it now, I get it! I’ve always been the one who had to bear the brunt of their selfishness. How I was never even a person to any of them, and how all I was good for was what they got from me. Or by being close to me, all of these so called friends and people that want to date me and not a one cares about how I feel.”

Ryoga hesitated, before he went with what usually worked: buttering her up with unconditional praise. “It’s not their fault they’re such jerks that they can’t understand how you feel about things. If they could understand that…” He trailed off, not wanting to face the reality of that sentence.

“Hah, maybe you’re right.” Akane laughed again, or maybe it was a sob. “But it’s back to blame Akane for everything again. ‘Yayoi dated an asshole, but it’s your fault she got dumped by him’. ‘Don’t you feel bad for us Akane, we can’t get laid because we’re such sexless bitches if you’re around!’ Feh, what a load of garbage, every last one of them are the same.” She wasn’t being fair at all, but she was venting. Fairness was the last thing on her mind.

“Well, at least Ranma is out of the way.” Ryoga couldn’t find a way to pin this on Ranma, so he decided to spin it around and bring up how he was gone.

“He was just a stopper, that’s what I realize now. I would’ve had to deal with them eventually, seeing as how Ranma would have been gone some day.” Akane looked down at the dirt and felt so small, she wondered if she could have burrowed her way to a place where people weren’t such inescapable dicks.

“Ranma would what?” Now that didn’t sound like Ranma to Ryoga. Once he had something, he wasn’t going to let it go if he could help it.

“It’s how it was going to happen, that’s what I realize now. I’d either get sick of him like I did, or he would have chosen someone else because that’s how it was going to go.” Her eyes watered and she choked back a sob. “After all, there’s nothing special about me, nothing that he would seriously choose me over the two of them. Or even Kodachi! I can’t cook, sew, clean or do anything right! I’m just a screwed up girl who should have been born a guy! At least I wouldn’t have gone through all of this then!”

Ryoga awkwardly put an arm around her and tried his best to be smooth. “Now you know that’s not true. If there was nothing special about you, why did you even get a chance to dump him?”

Okay, so maybe he wasn’t exactly the world’s biggest dumbass. But still… there was a lot of emotions placed in there that took Akane off guard. “Come on, don’t give me that.”

“It’s true! If they could be so entranced by someone so mundane, why do they line up for you?” Ryoga pointed back at the school. “Those jerks, as huge as they are, understand that there’s something special about you Akane-san! Something worth knowing!”

“You’re just saying that.” Akane looked at the arm around her and felt slightly uncomfortable. There was no way… “Ryoga, when I heard that Yayoi got dumped, I felt horrified.”

“And that’s because you’re amazing like that!” He was going to do it, just a little more and he’d sweep her around to face her. Stare her in the eyes and tell her how he felt about her. He’d watch the joy that would bring, and erase those tears. “You care about people, even people who don’t deserve it! You cared about Ranma, even when he could barely care about you.”

That really started to make Akane uncomfortable with the reality Ryoga was trying to show her. “A lot of people care about other people, that’s hardly unique to me.”

“B-but!” He lost his train of thought as she derailed his logic. “Akane-san, you have to understand the power you have over people, the way you make them feel.”

Akane’s eyes grew large, as realization began to dawn upon her. “Ry-”

She was cut off when Ryoga spun her around to face him fully, his expression burning with intensity.

“Akane-san… don’t you know how I feel? How much I’ve wante-” He got no further in his declaration as Akane’s knee smashed into his stomach. Not expecting it, totally off guard and having taken time away from getting smashed through every hard surface had dulled the durability built up by the breaking point training.

The lost boy lost his grip and stumbled back, but he just managed to barely remain on his feet. “Ak-”

She cut him off with a haymaker that dropped him to his back.

“DON’T YOU DARE PUT THIS ON ME YOU BASTARD! DON’T YOU DARE MAKE IT OUT LIKE THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!” Akane shrieked, as she reared up and stomped on his face. “NOT NOW! NOT AFTER THIS MORNING!”

She panted and started to come down. Gaining control of herself, she leaned her head back and looked at the sky, shambling away from Ryoga, not even looking at him anymore.

“Of all the nerve. To try to pull this on me when I just got done with him. This was all one big game of fight over the girl between the two of you.” It made sick sense, Ryoga hated Ranma enough he’d try and steal his fiancée. What a creep.

“No, you’re wrong.” It was weak, but she could hear him just enough.

“Don’t you dare tell me that it’s different because you have ‘feelings’ for me.” Akane spat, and surveyed the empty diamond. “Would you have noticed me if Ranma wasn’t engaged to me?”

Ryoga couldn’t find an answer to that fast enough. Bad enough he blew it, but he couldn’t even come back with something.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Akane said, sniffling a little as it all fell into a nasty place again. “That’s all I’ve been to people, a prize to fight over and win. How I felt didn’t matter because you don’t care about the trophy except that it’s something to win.”

Ryoga remained silent, as Akane started to sob again. His irrational side blamed Ranma somehow, but the rest of him was ready to tell it to fuck off.

“It’s funny.” Akane didn’t laugh, as she got her crying under control. “Everyone’s always told me how I felt about things. How I should do this or someone will hate me. Or how since I did this it means I feel like that. It’s such bullshit, story of my life.”

She turned and looked back at him, trying to make sense of the jumble of her feelings. She could tell, even flat on his back that he was in shape. If he went to school at Furinkan, he’d have a harem of willing girls… and she felt nothing. Here she was, a teenage girl with all the boys coming to her yard and she didn’t really feel anything. Except contempt, loathing, a sincere feeling of dislike.

A noise to the side drew her attention, revealing Yuka had been selected to venture forth and try and get Akane to listen to reason. Akane looked at Yuka and could feel her eyes on her, boring into her as the other girl took in the scene.

“Geeze Akane, if you had another boyfriend, you should have just said so.” Yuka said, laughing a little to try and lighten the air. “No need to be modest, he could easily beat Kuno and get the guys to back off again no problem.” Yuka came over to stand by Akane, only to see her nominal friend glowering at her.

Akane didn’t care for Yuka’s insinuations, but there was something important that was triggered by her ‘friend’s’ sudden appearance. Akane could see it in her eyes, she doubted Yuka was aware of it, but she could see the jealousy in the other girl’s eye.

Like a light going on, it all clicked into place.

Akane didn’t like boys, at all. Not like like them, as in want to date or marry them. All of them were just not appealing to her, but she could have dealt with it because that was how guys behaved. But what drew her intense ire and hate for them was how the other girls reacted to her.

They treated her nicely, kept their words sweet with platitudes of friendship, but they couldn’t hide their eyes. All of them looked at her with such cold eyes, such judgmental stares that the youngest Tendo didn’t understand it at all. But now it finally made sense to her, because it put the last piece of an unknown puzzle into place.

She hated the boys, because they made the girls hate her.

It was juvenile in a way, but there was no other way about it. The girls didn’t really like talking to her unless there was something to be gained from it, some social ladder to be helped up by her. The girls who Akane really wanted to be friends with, and maybe even something deeper than that.

“Akane…” Yuka said, waving a hand in front of her face.

“It finally makes sense.” Akane couldn’t see Yuka anymore, but Ranma’s girl form. How meek and sad she had looked, and how it felt like Akane finally had a kindred spirit, someone to confide in and let loose all the pain. And then she turned out to really be a he…

“What makes sense?” Yuka was freaking out now, as Akane hadn’t stopped staring at her.

“I don’t like boys.”

“Everyone knows, but that’s the great thing about boys: they grow into men.”

“It’s not that. I hate boys.” Akane pointed back at Ryoga. “I don’t even want to date him, hell, I never even really thought of him as anything but a slight friend.”

The sound of Ryoga’s heart breaking was audible from a kilometer away.

Slowly, Akane reached up and ran her fingers through her short hair to rest her hand against the back of her neck. It was all there, the uncomfortable truth.

“It doesn’t matter what they grow up into, I’ll never like them,” she quietly said as her gaze finally left Yuka and trailed down to her feet, to look at herself as though her body was suddenly foreign to her. She tensed, her hand gripping the back of her neck as the other clenched into a fist, and relaxed.

“I’m gay.”

Yuka’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, as her jaw cratered and snot began to fall from her nostrils in long ribbons. Ryoga, meanwhile, slowly lost all color or focus, his face becoming so serene it was like he was going to fade from existence. The wind swirled around them, mixing in with the choking noises from Yuka’s throat.

“I-I-if this is a j-joke you’re not funny Akane!” Yuka finally managed to get out, having been shocked from her stupor by a stray leaf blowing into her opened mouth.

“I’m not joking,” Akane said firmly, closing her eyes.

“That’s not r-right though. What about all of the guys that were after you? And the guys you liked, like Ranma and this guy…?” Yuka trailed off as she saw Ryoga’s fading body. “Well, Ranma I guess.”

“I never liked any of them, not one.” Akane nodded slowly. “I liked Ranma for all of ten minutes when I first met him, and that was because he was…”

“A girl.” Yuka’s face again contorted into shock as if Akane had just destroyed the very foundation of her world. “But d-does that mean…”

When Yuka took a hesitant step from her, Akane smiled serenely. “I’m not going to throw myself at the first available girl I see. Besides, I don’t think I really like you much anymore, or any of you girls.”

“B-but…!” Yuka felt her heart seize up at the coldness behind that flowery phrasing.

“‘Oh gee Akane, why couldn’t you stay engaged to a guy you don’t even like so me and Sayuri could keep getting laid.’ Yeah, I can’t see how anyone might find themselves re-evaluating their friendships with people who say crap like that.” Akane’s sarcasm bit at Yuka’s conscience.

“We didn’t mean it like that, it’s just-”

“You never considered how I felt, I know.”

“It’s not like that!”

“It’s exactly like that.”

“Damn it Akane, I’m trying to apologize here!”

“Are you? Because you usually start with ‘I’m sorry’ and work from there.”

“So that’s it? We’re not friends anymore because-”

“Were we ever friends? Or did you all just hang onto me because you all needed me for things?”

Yuka didn’t have a reply to that.

“Yeah, it’s probably for the best you shut up now.” Akane breathed out and turned around and started walking away.

“Akane, school is still going on!”

“Yeah, and I don’t care.”

“You can’t just go swanning off like this!”

“Can’t I? This is me, swanning off, goodbye!” Akane punctuated her statement by waving an obscene gesture at her former friend.

“Akane-san…” The specter that called itself Ryoga Hibiki moaned as she left his sight. When did everything get so dark and cold?

- - -

“Okay,” Ukyo said, after they had finished getting everything ready for their practice session. “I like to speed serve if there are customers, so use less of the batter and it’ll finish quick. It’s a bit thinner but people sitting here will want it done quicker.”

“Shampoo understand.” The former Amazon give a quick nod. “Preparing if you is busy elsewhere.”

“Well, yeah. Plus, you can cook too so teaching you the basics of okonomiyaki means you can experiment with it better.” Ukyo explained, having not considered the reasoning behind her explanation beforehand. “We’ll probably be busy as all hell, each of us cooking most of the time.”

“Shampoo just teasing,” Shampoo replied with a giggle. “Shampoo too, too happy to learn how to cook from friend. It important show of trust.”

“That’s right, your village was mostly women right?” Ukyo was beginning to understand what made up the ball of contradictions before her.

“Is so. Good mans hard to come by, often considered too precious to waste in battle. Teach excess womens art of war to survive.” Shampoo replied easily, as she mixed the okonomiyaki batter off hand. “Shampoo oldest of father’s daughter, was expected to do great things. Become councilwoman, lead tribe in my old age, be much like Granny.”

“Yikes, seems like your life was pretty much set from birth.” Ukyo absent-mindedly demonstrated the pour for the fast cooking okonomiyaki.

“Too, too true. Father is good man, apologize for harshness for Great Grandmama who train Shampoo to both cook and kill. Was supposed to be much older before defeat at hands of male.” Shampoo laughed as she copied the pour perfectly. “Expectation was also man that could beat Shampoo would be unable to defeat his desire to bed Shampoo too.”

Ukyo laughed, a short one to show she wasn’t mocking her new found friend. “Oh man, Ranma defied all expectations didn’t he?”

“Shampoo say it too, too bad. For warrior mans, we train him unconditionally in whatever art we have.” Shampoo checked to make sure her okonomiyaki weren’t burning before continuing. “Is precious commodity, no matter fighter or not. Mans is to be protected at all cost, woman who abuse husband is put to death.”

“R-really?”

“Is so, Shampoo no lie to Spatula Girl. Once found Aunt drowned in stream, she executed for abusing husband.” Shampoo said matter of factly as she flipped the okonomiyaki. “Is grim but protect us for 3000 years.”

“And here I thought you hated males.”

“Because Mousse yes?” Shampoo asked, continuing at Ukyo’s nod. “Born Amazon Man is supposed to marry outsider woman, rare for man to be expected to give men Kiss of Death unless he obstacle to bride.”

“So he got beat up because he obsessed over you?” Ukyo laughed harder at this, keeping tabs on her own okonomiyaki.

“Yes, is not shocking. Amazons of Joketsuzoku exist for 3000 years, the first of our tribe was writing our laws out maybe before you ancestors were even on this island. We understand need for diversity, is why laws. Just because we no build big buildings out of concrete metal and glass no mean we is ignorant of how world is,” Shampoo said, an equal measure of pride and slight regret. “But Shampoo reject that history and carve path for self.”

Then it began to change. “So what Shampoo born first, is having four sisters to take place!” The tremble in her voice grew. “Shampoo happy now, no Mousse, no obligations on who marry!” Her voice caught briefly. “C-can marry for love if want!”

Ukyo bit her lip as she watched the confident girl finally melt into a puddle of sobs.

“Why Great Grandmama no want Shampoo?” She looked up at Ukyo, tears in her eyes. “Plenty of Shampoo family leave village. Grandma do, even telling off Great Grandmama in middle of village. So what if Shampoo acknowledge there more than village? So what if Shampoo want decide how live? Why Shampoo exiled?”

Without thinking, Ukyo dished up all of the finished okonomiyaki before setting them aside and gathering the former Amazon into her arms and tried to soothe. “Oh sugar, there is nothing wrong with you choosing for yourself how you live your life! And anyone who would try and hold you back for wanting to be decide for yourself is a turd and they don’t deserve a single bit of consideration from you!”

Shampoo turned into the hug and began crying in earnest, seeking comfort in her friend’s arms.

Ukyo looked up at the sound of the door opening, cursing herself for forgetting to lock it. She relaxed, however, when she saw it was Akane. “Oh, hey Akane-chan. Guess things went a bit rough after I left?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Come over here sugar and let it out.” Ukyo shuffled Shampoo around to make room for Akane too.

Akane silently made her way over to the duo and turned things into a group hug session.

Silence reigned as a few minutes passed, before the trio separated and took stock of themselves.

“I hope that makes you feel better, at least,” Ukyo said, good naturedly.

“I don’t feel like murdering everyone at school anymore.” Akane said, half jokingly.

“Shampoo glad to let it out,” Shampoo added quietly.

“Well that’s good!” Ukyo turned and looked at the cooled okonomiyaki and got an idea. “Why don’t you stay and test a few things out for us Akane-chan? I’m sure we can use the opinion of someone who isn’t completely biased.”

“Shampoo think is too, too good idea.” Shampoo added, smiling a little as she wiped her eyes. “We is both having high opinions of self.”

“Thanks…” Akane said, smiling faintly. “I don’t really want to go home right now.”

“It’s okay, I understand.” Ukyo smiled. “And when I open for business, you can go up to my place and lay down. No need for you to be harassed by the perverts that come in.”

Akane just nodded, smiling just a bit more.

“Well!” Ukyo clapped her hands and turned back to the okonomiyaki. “Since these are all cooked, let’s start with these.” The mood was dour enough to cover how fast she had turned away. There was the thing that Ranma always said that stuck in Ukyo’s head. That the reason he stuck by Akane so much was…

She really does have a cute smile… There was that tiny fluttering in her stomach, the same that Ranma always said he got when Akane really smiled.

- - -

“Everything was packed today,” Akane said, having overheard the raucous bash that had broken out in wake of the merger of the Cat Cafe and Ucchan’s.

“Too, too good food bring lots of hungry people.” Shampoo was swelling with pride. It was exhausting, but rewarding. She hadn’t gotten to cook often at the Cat Cafe, but she knew most of Cologne’s recipes by heart. “Things turn out okay, despite day’s attempt to ruin them.”

“Yeah, I hear that,” Akane said, slightly solemn as she thought back over the day of revelations. Before she continued, she overheard something she didn’t really want to hear just yet. “Well, why not deal with my Sisters today too.”

“Shampoo here,” Shampoo stated without hesitation. She placed a comforting hand on Akane’s shoulder.

“Thanks.” The duo made their way to the living room, where they could start making out what Nabiki was saying clearly.

“…It was chaos like you wouldn’t believe!” Nabiki said, waving her hands in exaggeration. “Half the school was rioting, and the other half were practically walking dead, just gazing off into oblivion.”

“Oh my.” Kasumi didn’t have much to say, as she was absorbing the tale her middle sister had just told her.

“Oh, you missed the best parts believe me,” Akane said as she and Shampoo entered the living room.

Nabiki frowned, first at Akane’s claim, and then deepened it when she saw Shampoo. “What’s she doing here?”

“She lives here, since Kasumi forgot to tell you.” Akane rolled her eyes. “And before you say anything, Shampoo already has a job so she’ll be able to pay her way here.”

“But what about-” Nabiki barely started before she was cut off by Shampoo.

“Shampoo give up Ranma, is exile now.” Shampoo gave the middle Tendo a look as if daring her to complain. “Was you sister’s idea, she responsible.”

“So you two just gave up? Or was it because he chose Ukyo?” Nabiki was fishing for information but she had gotten her only free bite.

“1000 yen per answer. Cough up or stew in silence.” Akane held a hand out, drawing a really dirty look.

“I’ll ask Kasumi later.” Nabiki turned away insulted at having her own game played against her.

“Kasumi will probably tell you what she thinks is going on,” Akane retorted. “The last time you relied on Kasumi for your gossip bait, you almost were arrested for saying the mayor had sex with a transvestite in Shinjuku.”

Nabiki’s eyes narrowed and she glared at her older sister.

“You said to tell you what I knew,” Kasumi said gently.

“I’ll deal with you later,” Nabiki promised, debating whether to pay or not. “So what made you guys drop him?”

Akane raised her hand and beckoned with her fingers.

Shampoo laughed as Nabiki turned as red as girl-Ranma’s hair.

“Not so fun when you’re on the receiving end.” Akane shrugged her shoulders. “You could have just dropped by her place and seen for yourself.”

“I did but the place was slammed out the freakin’ door,” Nabiki complained.

“Now since you’re the smart one of our family,” Akane made a sarcastic gesture with her hands. “What can you deduce from the fact that Ukyo was so incredibly busy that you couldn’t get in?”

The color drained from Nabiki’s face as she realized the implications put forth.

“Yeah, you sit there and think about it.” Akane turned to Kasumi. “How about some tea for the two of us, eh?”

“Shampoo is too, too thirsty. Work all day like dog,” Shampoo added, as the pair went and sat down at the table.

Nabiki Tendo was annoyed.

No, that wasn’t right, Nabiki Tendo was downright fucking FURIOUS. All of the biggest, juiciest shit went down when she wasn’t even in town to see it! To experience the schadenfreude of it all! And most importantly, profit like a madwoman off it all. All the bets, info, gossip whatever she could have made for this and she wasn’t there!

A strangled cry escaped from her throat as she began to literally choke on her rage.

“Is she okay?” Kasumi asked with concern, finishing pouring tea for Shampoo and Akane.

“She’ll be fine in a minute. She’s just really mad at herself for not being here when it all went down.” Akane assured her big sis before taking a sip of the tea.

About that. Kasumi appeared a bit strained at that. “Maybe if she was here, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Shampoo laughed, slapping her knee as Akane tried not to spit take right into Kasumi’s face. “You didn’t say Nice Girl funny!”

Kasumi fell back to the defensive. “I don’t see how that’s funny. Ranma-kun is gone, Daddy is so upset-”

Akane gave Kasumi a dire look. “It’s hilarious that you don’t care that I decided to do something for myself.”

And like that she went onto the attack. “Because you are making a mistake. Akane, I know you are stubborn and things are frustrating, but I also know that you genuinely care for Ranma and doing what you did to him yesterday was too far.”

Akane set down her tea to avoid breaking the cup in her hand. “If you’re so sad for him, why don’t you go be his fiancée?”

“Because he cares about you too.”

“Oh, is that why he said at the top of his lungs that he didn’t want to be stuck with me when Shampoo and Ukyo told him off, and Daddy told him to marry me while the playing field was clear? I’m sorry, ‘just me’ he said.”

“You know he didn’t mean that, he’s-”

“Only worried about himself, just like you are, and she always is.” Akane gestured to Nabiki. “The only reason I was even engaged to him is because neither of you wanted to be hitched up with that hot mess.”

“That’s…!” Kasumi’s argument died in her throat as Akane being irrevocably right hit her like a punch to the stomach.

“Be that as it may, you still went with it,” an increasingly affronted Nabiki pointed out.

“So what, I was thrown into the bed so I should sleep in it?”

“Don’t get me started on how many times we’ve all caught you and Ranma being all lovey-dovey.”

“Oh yeah, that terrible joke! Those hollow moments of faux-intimacy, ruined by everyone in the house deciding to interrupt it and then getting on our cases for ruining it.” Akane laughed. “You are a genius at that, Nabiki, you and Daddy. You should be proud you have that much in common.”

Nabiki didn’t know what to be angrier at, for being compared to her father, or for Akane thinking she suddenly was the shit in her presence. “Like you didn’t feel anything.”

“Oh I did, but Ranma never hesitated to make me feel like shit after. But that suits you, doesn’t it? As long as you can have something at my expense you were golden. Isn’t that why you sell pictures of me to those idiot boys at school?”

Nabiki grew wide-eyed as Kasumi’s attention fell squarely on her. “What?” The oldest Tendo asked.

“Oh, you talk about pictures she take of you and girl type Ranma to sell,” Shampoo said, looking back at Nabiki as well. “Shampoo see some of them once, think they rather poor. No sense of lighting or anything, not even catch Akane’s good side.”

“NABIKI!” Kasumi shouted, scandalized at it all.

Nabiki winced from Kasumi’s yell, before she whirled upon Akane. “You’re just throwing everyone under the bus today, aren’t you?!”

“How long have you been doing this?!” Kasumi demanded.

Akane raised her voice, but did not shout. “Oh stop acting like you care!”

Kasumi turned back to her youngest sister, cheeks burning red. “I do care-”

“No you honestly don’t. The less you care, the less you have to react one way or another. Just put on that vapid smile of yours and that always cheerful tune to your voice…” Akane mimicked Kasumi’s voice, right down to the maternal warmth and calmness. “… Just like this, and you’re suddenly removed from it all.”

Kasumi stared back at Akane, and after a moment a pout spoiled her features as Akane nodded in confirmation. “It’s easier that way isn’t it? You overlook Nabiki being a sleazy, grifting shark-”

“Hey!”

“-And me being a violent maniac and you don’t have to do much else than clean up the mess.” Akane reached up and tossed her hair for pointed emphasis.

Kasumi’s pout deepened into an expression of hurt.

“Oh come on, Who do you think you’re fooling? You sit there and watch me, Shampoo and Ukyo or Ranma and Ryoga nearly murder each other and think we’re best chums. Nabiki runs off doing who knows what and you don’t care because you don’t see her do it.” Akane patted her hand on the table top. “And you know what? It makes me sick that even after that you can sit there and act like I’m the bad person here.”

Shampoo took a deep breath.

“That’s not fair, Akane-chan!” Kasumi sounded desperate, tears forming at the edge of her eyes.

“FAIR?!” Akane shot up from her position, slamming her hand on the table. Kasumi shrank back from her youngest sister’s sudden outburst, and remained on her heels even as Akane’s cool returned. Even Nabiki was afraid.

Shampoo frowned, but knew Akane had to get it out of her system. The anger had been like poison coursing through her veins and she was finally cleansing herself.

“The only time anything is fair is when it’s perfectly fine to you. It was fair that I was being harassed because you could tell yourself that I was too strong to get hurt. It was fair that I was alone, even in my own house. It was so fair when you decided for that I should to marry Ranma when I wanted nothing to do with him.” Akane’s breathing had picked up as she glared at Kasumi pointedly.

Kasumi broke eye contact with Akane and looked at the floor, thoroughly ashamed of herself.

“And you…” Akane turned her attention on Nabiki, who let out a squeak of fear. “Look at you, little miss socialite who no one even likes! You’re a poisonous sack of treacherous shit with no friends. No one would talk to you if it weren’t for you being such an ugly gossip, and the only time you’re actually surrounded by boys is when you’re whoring me or Ranma out. My lord, what are you even going to do with yourself when I’m not around to make you relevant?”

Nabiki sputtered but couldn’t find the words over her own fear.

She turned back to Kasumi. “So yeah, if you’re so broken up about me and Ranma breaking up? There he is. The moment he walks through the door jump into his arms and take on all the stupid, annoying crap you watched him put me through with a smile on your face. I’m not your little love story to keep you entertained between cleaning house and pretending to be Mom. Not anymore.”

Akane turned her gaze back to her immediate elder that became a piercing glare normally reserved for Ranma at the height of shenanigans. “I’m not your cash cow anymore, either. Try to make another yen off me, and I will beat your face in until the only way you’ll be able to make any cash is doing stripteases for Happosai with a bag over your head.”

Nabiki fell back a bit, shaken by the calm sincerity of her threat.

Picking up her cup of tea, Akane blew on it and drank it down. After setting down the cup, she got up. “Oh, and by the way, I’m gay, so I’m never getting back together with Ranma even if he had a chance.”

With that she headed for the stairs and the only sound in the Tendo residence was her stomping up them and into her room before the door loudly slammed shut.

Shampoo looked over at Nabiki, who was pale and shaking, and then over to Kasumi, who had her hand over her mouth and an utterly horrified look on her face.

“Shampoo should go,” she said before she got up and went to follow Akane.

- - -

When Shampoo went upstairs and to Akane’s room, she found her lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling with her hands folded on her stomach. She seemed perfectly serene, relaxed even. But at the same time, she seemed in pain.

“That intense,” Shampoo said quietly.

“Yeah,” Akane whispered back.

“You okay?”

Akane grimaced. “The tea was still too hot.”

Shampoo blinked.

“I burned my mouth gulping it down and it hurts. A lot.”

Shampoo’s eyebrows rose, as the youngest Tendo sat up and smiled brightly to her newfound roommate. “Other than that, I feel great.”

A smile of her own appeared on her lips, before Shampoo bounced over to Akane and sat next to her. “Shampoo like you, like Grandmama who tell off Great Grandmama before leaving village.”

Akane was relieved. “Thanks. How did that turn out for her?”

“Great Grandmama angry about it for long time, but then got over it when Shampoo born.” A small sigh escaped Shampoo at that, because it was a comforting thought.

It was comforting all the same for Akane, who heaved out a sigh. “Well, there’s no way I can hide it now. I told one of my former friends, both my sisters, and you…”

“It not problem. Shampoo and Spatula Girl already figure it out.”

Akane did a double take. “Wait, you did?”

Shampoo nodded. “So not surprised. Don’t change thing.”

“Even you sleeping naked in bed with me?” Akane asked.

“Nope.”

“You’re just a really kind person to people you like, huh?”

Shampoo nodded with an affirming hum. “Shouldn’t be worried. Who could do something about it?”

Akane smiled. “I guess there’s that.”

Shampoo patted Akane on the shoulder, and then pulled her into a hug. “Shampoo and Spatula Girl be there too. No one mess with you no more, or they die.”

Leaning back into Shampoo, Akane returned the hug and sighed happily. “Thank you, Shampoo. I could’ve never done this without either of you.”

“Of course not.” At Akane’s look, Shampoo giggled and nuzzled her face. “But we no could do this without you, either. That what friends do, yes? Make each other stronger.”

Akane nodded in agreement, and drew back just a bit to exchange broad smiles with Shampoo. Everything felt right, just then, for the first time in a long time.

And then Shampoo leaned forward and kissed Akane, and everything felt perfect.

Author note: And here we have two. Will we soon show off that lovely X rating? Maybe!