Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Everything you know is wrong ❯ Under a bridge ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
you know is wrongPart 1: Under a bridgeBy: Neko Kaemon
“Because of you, I’ve seen hell!” Ryouga yelled as he ran towards the pigtailed martial artist.“How dare you try to take Shampoo from me!” Mousse called as dozens of knifes and swords shot out of his sleeves at Ranma.
“Vile enslaver of women! Release Akane Tendo and the pigtailed girl from your evil clutches at once!” Kuno joined in as he pointed his bokken at Ranma, but was soon knocked out by a extremely heavy red umbrella smashing into his head.
Ryouga lifted his umbrella of Kunos’ head, “Shut up! You have nothing to do with this! Now Ranma! Face me!”
Ranma sighed and looked at the two, “Come on guys, I ain’t got time for this kinda stuff!” Ranma then jumped into the air, and came down seconds later planting his foot in Mousses face, smashing the glasses that were, for one, in front of his eyes. “I really havta go, ya can finish this tomorrow!” He jumped off Mousses face and landed on a nearby rooftop and ran towards the Tendo Dojo as fast as he could, leaving the other three martial artists behind.
Mousse brushed the broken glass off his face and looked around, “There you are!” He yelled at the moving object he thought to be Ranma, “Get back here you coward!” He dashed forward and started to chase the guy on the motorcycle, which he thought to be Ranma.
“How dare you run away!” Ryouga started to chase Ranma, but soon found himself inside a nearby movie theaters bathroom. “Could you tell me where the Tendo Dojo is?” Ryouga asked the first person he saw.
“Pervert!” The woman yelled, slapping him in the face.
Ranma-chan groaned as she wrung the water out of her silk shirt, “Ah common! Don’t ya idiots have enough common sense ta not pour tubs of water out your window, onto the sidewalk!” She shook her fist at the offending household. Ranma-chan finished getting as much water as she could out of her clothing, then took off towards the Tendo Dojo, only a few houses down. She then jumped over the fence and was soon in the back yard, “Maybe I can sneak into my room, and they won’t notice I was late comin’ back. I’ll jus’ say I was taking my time changing an’ all.”
“Nihao!” Shampoo said happily as glomped onto Ranma-chan.
Ranma-chan tried to pull away from the purple haired Amazon, hoping that Shampoo didn’t attract too much attention, “Sh-sh-shampoo! What are ya doin’ here!”
The Amazon rubbed against the redhead, “Airen take Shampoo on date, yes?”
“Ranma.” A female voice growled from the house.
Ranma-chan slowly turned her head to the house, only to see a very angry Akane standing at the back door. “A-Akane! I can explain! It’s not what it looks like!”
“Oh?” She said marching towards the redhead, “Then what is it? Huh?”
“Well, uh, it’s a, umm.” Ranma-chan stuttered, still trying to pull Shampoo off of herself.
“Ranma you jerk!” Akane then pulled out a giant wooden mallet and swung it like golf club, knocking Ranma-chan into the air, Shampoo fell off the redhead a few seconds later shouting something in Chinese.
Ranma-chan looked into the water the flowed down the canal as she stood under a bridge, “Stupid tomboy, ain’t like it’s my fault Shampoo jumped on me.” She muttered as she slumped to the ground. She then stretched out and laid down on the ground, her hand stretched out and her fingers just barely in the water as it flowed by. Why do things havta be like this, she thought to herself, why can’t they be different. Ryouga’s always chasin’ after me, yellin’ ‘bout how I made his life hell and all. Mousse yellin’ how I stole Shampoo, while she’s the one chasing after me! Akane’s always blowing up at me for stuff I didn’t do. Then there’s Kuno, spouting all this crap about enslaving his loves, crazy! In fact, everyone I know is crazy! Ranma-chan flipped over and looked at the underside of the bridge above her. “I must be cursed.” She said allowed, “Oh wait, I already know I am.” Ranma-chan reached into her pocket and pulled out a small silver coin, “Heh, stupid coin. Shopkeeper said ya were supposed to help me, but I ain’t seen ya do anything to help me.” Ranma-chan sighed, then looked at the coin and scowled, “An’ why the heck to I keep buying magical charms an’ crap!” She shoved the coin back into her pocket and looked back up at the bridge. “I jus’ want things ta be different.” She whispered, barely audible, and soon slipped into sleep.
Ranma-chan slowly opened her eyes, only to see the wonderful sight of the underside of a bridge. “Great,” She muttered, “I fell asleep under a bridge, like some hobo.” She slowly sat up, water dripping off her pigtail, as it had been dangling in the canal all night. She reached behind her head and squeezed the water out of her hair and stood up, as she brushed the dirt and grass off her clothing, she stepped out from under the bridge and looked at the sky. “What time is it? Past breakfast for sure.” Ranma-chan jumped up onto the bridge and started to walk down the sidewalk before stopping abruptly, “Wait, crap! Late for school! As much as I hate the thing, I‘ll get in more trouble by not goin‘” Ranma-chan took off down the sidewalk, headed directly towards the school.
No more then five minutes later, Ranma-chan slid into the classroom and jumped into her seat just seconds before the final bell rang. Hah! Right on time! She thought happily as Hinako entered the room.
“Good morning class.” Hinako announced to the class, “Lets get started shall we.”
Ranma-chan slumped back in her chair and looked around the room. Hmm, No Akane. Wonder where she is.
Ranma-chan walked along the fence on her way back to the Tendo Dojo from school. The whole day had gone by and she hadn’t been able to find any hot water, and on top of that she was very tired. She jumped down off the fence, deciding that it would be better to play it safe and walk on the sidewalk. As Ranma-chan rounded a corner she noticed Akane leaning against the fence looking rather bored. “Uhh, Hey Akane. Why weren’t ya in school today?”
Akane turned and looked at Ranma-chan, “Had stuff to do, didn’t have time to go to school today.” Akane then reached out and grabbed Ranma-chans arm, “Come on, lets get back to the Dojo.” She said as she pulled the smaller girl close to her.
Ranma-chan nervously looked around, “Sure, Akane.” Ranma-chan soon found herself leaning on Akane, her head resting on the taller girls shoulder, she considered pulling away, but as she looked up at Akane she could see, for some reason, that she didn’t mind. Ranma-chan started to feel something, underneath her shirt, that was moving up and down her side. She immediately looked down, and noticed that Akanes’ hand was no longer on her shoulders, but in her shirt. Ranma-chan became extremely nervous, her pigtail stood strait up and her muscles tensed. “A-a-a-Akane.” She whimpered, “What are ya doin’?”
Akane looked down at Ranma-chan, “Nothing unusual. Why, something wrong?”
“Your hand.” She managed to get out.
“Oh, sorry if they’re a bit cold.” Akane said as she continued to walk, as she continued to move her hand along her side. “Here, let me make it up to you.” Akane pulled Ranma-chan in front of her, and kissed the shocked redhead directly on the lips. A few seconds later Akane pulled away from Ranma-chan, “Heh, you really are out of it today. Come on, we’re almost home.”
Ranma-chan nodded, her brain overloaded and fried by what had just happened. “Okay ‘Kane.” She slowly said as Akane pulled her along the sidewalk.
A few moments later the two reached the Tendo Dojo and were soon in the house. Ranma-chan slowly started to come back to reality, she pushed Akane away softly, “Excuse me.” She then walked up the stairs and into her room, where she laid down on her futon and looked up at the ceiling. “What the heck just happened there?” She asked herself aloud. “Hot water, I need hot water.” She jumped up and walked into the kitchen, where Akane was messing around, apparently trying to make something.
“Hey Ranma, feeling better? You were really pale a few moments ago.” Akane said as she chopped up an onion, and only the onion.
Ranma-chan looked around nervously, “Uhh, yeah, lots better. I just need some hot water please.”
“Sure,” Akane walked over and grabbed a cup, and filled it with steaming water from a kettle that was on the stove. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” Ranma-chan walked over to the sink, and held one hand out over the sink and poured the hot water over her hand, causing her, to become male for the first time since yesterday afternoon. “That’s better.” Ranma headed towards the door, but bumped into Nabiki, sending the girl into the floor.
“S-s-sorry Ranma! It was an accident, won’t happen again!” Nabiki stuttered as she pulled herself off the floor, and then ran up the stairs to her room.
Ranma just stood there, a confused look on his face for a few moments, before shrugging and walking into the living room and turning on the television.
Nearly an hour later, Ranma heard Akane call everyone into the dining room. Ranma entered the room and was extremely shocked, he had seen Akane cooking, and hadn’t seen Kasumi anywhere, but the food, it looked edible! “Looks good Akane.” Ranma said, unsure of what he was seeing. “Say, where’s Pop and Mr. Tendo?” He asked, realizing that he hadn’t seen them all day.
“They said that they had to do something with Happosai.” Akane said sitting down at the table, and a few seconds later followed by Nabiki, who looked extremely nervous and kept peeking at Ranma occasionally. Ranma moved over and sat down in his normal spot, and took a closer look at the food, which oddly enough, even up close looked edible.
“So kid, what’s for dinner?” Ranma turned to see Kasumi, but something was off, possibly it was the fact that she was wearing a tight dark red shirt that read ‘No’ on it, dark red gloves to match, and tight black jeans. “Better not be some crap like Nabiki made yesterday.”
Ranma stared blankly for a few seconds, but then jumped out of his seat, “What the heck is going on here!” He yelled, waving a finger at all three of them.
“Shut the hell up Saotome! I wanna eat dinner!” Kasumi yelled, pulling out a small pistol and pointing it at Ranma, who quickly sat back down in his seat and stared at his plate. Kasumi then waved the gun around the table, “Anyone else wanna talk? ‘Cause I really don’t feel like dealin’ with all your crap today.”
All three of the other people quietly said, “No.” and started to eat the meal that was set out in front of them.
Ranma quickly started to eat food, not knowing about where it came from till about thirty seconds into the meal. Wait, this was cooked by Akane. He noted to himself, And yet, I’m not dead. Could today get any weirder? Ranma pushed aside any remaining thoughts and quickly ate, and ran up the stairs into his room. “Sleep, a good nights sleep is what I need, and when I wake up tomorrow, I’ll be under that bridge with my hair in the water.” He sat himself down on his futon and quickly went to sleep.
Downstairs Kasumi spun the gun on her finger and looked up the stairs, “What the hell is wrong with Saotome?”
The next morning Ranma groaned and opened his eyes, “No.” He cried, “I wanna be under the bridge.”
“Why would you want to be under a bridge?” A voice next to him asked.
Ranma slowly turned his head to see Akane, wearing nothing, under the covers right next to him. His eyes widened and his pigtail twitched, “What are you doing here?” He asked, trying to seem calm.
“Well,” She said seductively, “our fathers were gone and you were alone in this room, so I figured I would stay here with you to keep you company.” She smiled and moved closer to him.
Ranma gave out a small shriek, and jumped directly out of bed and out the door of his room, and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. “What the heck is up with everyone! Why is this happenin’ ta me!” Ranma walked over and sat on the edge of the furo, “An’ what the heck coulda caused this?” Ranma put his hand in his pocket, and noticed that the coin was still in it. He pulled it out and looked at it, it was just a plain silver coin, some weird characters on it, but didn’t look like it could really do anything.
“Ah yes, this is a coin I acquired a few years ago, supposedly its supposed to help you, tell it what you want, and it will try its best to help you.”
Ranma shoved the coin back in his pocket as he remembered what the salesman had told him. “Stupid coin! Help my eye! If anything it just made it worse!”
“Hey! Saotome! Get outta the bathroom, or do I havta shoot open the door down!” Kasumi yelled from the other side of the door.
“Okay Kasumi!” Ranma nervously said as he got off the edge of the furo and flung open the door and dashed past Kasumi down the stairs where he then slid into the kitchen, where Nabiki was cooking what looked to be breakfast.
“G-good morning Ranma! Breakfast will be ready in only a few moments.” Nabiki said as she looked down at the food she was preparing.
Ranma gave an odd look to Nabiki, “Ok,” he said warily, “but I gotta get to school soon. It will be ready in five minutes, right?”
“Yes, yes.” She said, speeding up her pace, “Just please, wait in the dining room.”
Ranma nodded and walked into the dining room, and just as Nabiki had said, about five minutes later breakfast was brought out and Ranma tore into the food with his usual gusto, and was out the door only one minute after Nabiki had brought out the food.
“I better get to school too, don’t want to have the teachers annoyed at me coming late.” She said quietly and went to get her stuff.
Ranma jumped over a gap in the fence as he ran along it on the way to school, “Hmm, that wasn’t there yesterday, wonder what happened.” Suddenly the fence started to wobble, and the section that he was standing on started to tip over, towards the canal. “Not today!” Ranma jumped off the fence section and landed on the sidewalk just as the fence segment broke off completely and landed in the canal. Ranma smiled, “Not gonna fall in that canal today!” Any joy he was feeling was short lived, as a split second later water splashed him in the back, water from the same old lady that threw water from the same pail every day. “Aw common ya old woman! Couldn’t ya tell that I was standin’ right here!” Ranma-chan called to the old woman as she walked away.
“Hey Ranma, got hit by the old lady again?” Akane said as she walked up to Ranma-chan.
Ranma growled, “Yeah, got me again. Sometimes I wonder if she just waits there for me, waiting for any chance she can get to splash me with that water.”
Akane started to wring the water out of Ranma-chans shirt, and a few seconds later stopped, having gotten all the water she could out. “Come on, lets get to school.” Akane then slid her hand around Ranma-chans waist and started to walk alongside her towards the school.
Ranma-chan sighed, even though Akane was being nice, it was a little too nice for her taste.
Moments later, Ranma-chan and Akane were both in class. Ranma-chan had a scowl on her face, for the second day in a row she was at school, as a girl. She looked over to Akane, who was sitting right next to her and once again had her hand around the smaller girls waist. “Akane,” She whispered, “You might wanna stop that, Hinako is gonna be here any second now I bet.”
“Aww, your no fun,” Akane said playfully as she put her hands on the desk.
Just as Ranma-chan had predicted, Hinako came into the classroom seconds later. “Alright class, lets get things started by reading chapter twenty two, section three in our textbooks.”
Ranma-chan immediately started to read what Hinako had assigned, but something seemed off to him. For one, Hinako was still in child form, but seemed to be acting more like her adult form, that and she hadn’t sapped anyone of their strength the other day. Ranma-chan sighed, everyone else was acting weird, as least Hinako was acting weird for the better.
A few hours later, Ranma-chan once again found herself walking home with Akanes’ hand up her shirt. The redhead sighed and leaned against Akane, having completely given up against fighting against her fiancé, “Hey Akane, ya ever had the feelin’ that something was just, well, wrong?”
“Nope, can’t say I have, why, something wrong?” Akane said as she slid her hand down lower, and started to slip her hand down the side of Ranma-chans pants.
“Eep!” Ranma-chan jumped about two feet into the air, “Akane! Please, can ya not do that?”
“Oh fine, but I’ll get you tonight.” Akane winked at Ranma-chan.
Ranma-chan just whimpered and continued to walk towards the Tendo Dojo.
Ranma-chan walked into the Tendo household, having finally decided to get away from Akane after she had once again tried to grope her again, only this time on the chest. The second she entered the house she found herself immediately embraced by her father.
“Ah! Welcome back my son, I have missed you the past two days! How was your day at school?” Genma said as he released his embrace on Ranma-chan.
“Nice to see ya too Pop.” Ranma said, looking over Genma, wondering if he was planning something. “Where you and Mr. Tendo been lately?”
Genma rubbed the back of his head a chuckled, “Well, we had to deal with Happosai, which you well know can take days.”
“Yeah, well, I got stuff I gotta do, see ya.” Ranma-chan walked away from her father and into the living room, where Mr. Tendo was.
“Hello Ranma!” Mr. Tendo called to Ranma-chan, “Did I miss any calls while I was dealing with Happosai?”
Ranma-chan shook her head, “Nope, not that I know of.” As soon as she finished her sentence, a small phone, one that she had never noticed before, rang and Mr. Tendo grabbed it.
“Yes, I see. I’m on it!” Mr. Tendo flung the phone back on the receiver, “Well Ranma, something has come up, I must be off!” Mr. Tendo then dashed past Ranma-chan and out the back door.
Ranma-chan sighed and shook her head, “Right, ya have fun with that.”
Twenty minutes later Ranma, male once again, found himself flipping though the television channels, stopping on a new channel he decided to see what was going on.
“-nd once again, The Blazing Steel has come to the rescue! Not only did he stop a bank robbery, but he also saved a burning bus full of children! Look! There he is now!”
Ranma stared at the screen, his mouth agape, on it was Mr. Tendo, wearing some kind of ridiculous suit and standing triumphantly beside some children. “Someone, please, anyone, just kill me now.”
“That can be arranged!” Ranma turned around to see Kasumi, holding a katana in the air, “Hiyaaah!” She yelled, bringing the katana down.
“Gah!” Ranma jumped off the couch and rolled on the floor before jumping up and looking at Kasumi. “What are ya tryin’ ta do? Kill me!”
“Isn’t that what ya wanted?” She asked, sheathing the katana.
“I didn’t mean it literally!” He yelled at her.
Kasumi scoffed at him, “Fine, be that way.” Kasumi turned around and left the room.
Ranma slid over to what was left of the couch and grabbed the remote control, and turned off the television. “I’m goin’ to bed. Life is too confusing right now.” Ranma threw the remote down and headed off to his room.
Neko Kaemon: Ta da! A new story, and this one is an actual Ranma Fanfic! Heh, chapter 2 will come soon.
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