Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Genmas Daughter ❯ 02 ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Imported From: RAAC
From: Deborah Goldsmith <dgoldsmith@mac.com>
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Genma's Daughter, Chapter 2: The Girl in the Mirror

As always, all rights to Ranma 1/2 belong to Rumiko Takahashi and
Shougakukan

Genma's Daughter
Chapter 2: The Girl in the Mirror

By Deborah Goldsmith
Original concept and parts of Chapter 1 by Steve Pardue

Deborah Goldsmith <dgoldsmith@mac.com>
Steve Pardue <spardue@zebra.net>

http://www.zebra.net/~spardue/anime

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Nodoka sat by the window in the living room of her home, idly wondering
what was keeping the children. She had just finished making breakfast,
and the miso soup, fish, and rice stood waiting on the table. She was
not impatient -- yet.

She glanced once again up the narrow street on which her home stood. It
was a street of modest houses, crowded together and with little yard
space. Most of the neighbors, like Nodoka, made an effort to cultivate
some kind of garden in the little space they had, and this lent each
house a bit of personality. Nodoka liked the neighborhood where she had
lived for so many years. A nice shopping street was a couple of blocks
away, it was not far from a train station, and the neighbors were all
old friends.

She saw two girls, one with black hair and a shorter one with red,
walking up the street hand in hand and laughing about something. They
turned the corner through the gate, slid open the front door and walked
in, dropping their hands in the process. Nodoka lifted an eyebrow but
said nothing about what she had seen through the window.

"Breakfast is ready, dears. You got back just in time. Shall we eat?"

Ranma started to protest. "First I wanna go..." she trailed off. "Ah, I
can do it later. I'm starvin'!" They all sat down. Ranma turned to her
mother. "It looks great, Mom!" After a brief chorus of "Itadakimasu!",
they began. Nodoka once again witnessed the spectacle of Ranma eating.
After seeing that just once she had known to prepare rather more food
than usual, and stared as it disappeared rapidly. She shook her head.
This was one habit she wanted her child to break, whether she was a boy
*or* a girl. Now was not the time, though.

She asked, "Ran...ma, dear, did you have a nice walk? What did you think
about?"

Ranma stopped eating, and looked slightly embarrassed. Her mind spun as
she tried to figure out what to say. Somehow, telling her mother about
what was going through her head right now did not seem like a good idea,
even if her mother would approve of it. *Especially* if her mother would
approve of it.

"Oh, just her situation, Auntie. Nothing special. She has a lot of
thinking to do." Akane answered for Ranma. Ranma looked at Akane with
gratitude. "It's a confusing situation for her, and I think it will take
her a while to figure it out."

Nodoka had not missed the interchange, but decided not to press Ranma
into talking if she didn't want to. Goodness knows she probably had a
million things running around in her head right now.

In due time, the meal was finished, and Akane and Ranma rose, Akane
helping to clear the dishes. When that was done, Ranma turned to her
mother. "Mom? Can we borrow, ummm, some of the things you showed us last
night? The video and the photos? We wanna visit Dr. Toufuu and explain,
and also show this to the Tendous. I promise we'll bring 'em back
tomorrow on the way to school." Ranma omitted the other place they might
be going today.

Nodoka was a little surprised, but the request seemed reasonable. "Well,
I had been hoping that you would stay a little bit longer before going
back to the Tendous this morning." She smiled. "But I guess you're not
going to disappear for another twelve years, so I don't mind. I have
some documents that you might find useful, too." Akane and Ranma smiled
back.

A few minutes later, their packs in hand, and with a flat cardboard box
from Nodoka, they prepared to leave. "Thank you for your hospitality,
Auntie. I hope to be able to come again?..."

Nodoka smiled. "Akane-chan, you are welcome here any time you want to
come."

Ranma smiled. "Thanks, Mom! I promise you'll be seein' a lot more of
us!" They turned and left, Nodoka sliding the door shut behind them.

No one noticed that Ranma had forgotten to get hot water after breakfast.

Ranma and Akane walked along one of the larger streets in Nerima. Auto
traffic was sparse, but the area was abustle with pedestrians, people
shopping or just enjoying the Sunday morning. Women doing the daily
shopping walked from shop to shop, bags in hand, accompanied by
children. Some rode by on bicycles. Groups of men in twos or threes
would wander past, laughing or talking in an animated way. The
occasional jogger would trot by every now and then. People were trying
to get their business done before the day got really hot.

Ranma looked at Akane again. "Are you sure this is a good idea, Akane?"

Akane glanced over at Ranma. "I know they are hard to deal with, Ranma,
but she knows more about the curses than anyone else we know. She has
lived next to Jusenkyou for over a hundred years."

Ranma sighed. She hated every time she had to deal with the old ghoul
and the others at the Nekohanten. They were crazy. Half the people she
knew were crazy. It was depressing sometimes. Besides, she wasn't sure
she really wanted answers to some of these questions.

They passed a shopkeeper. "Good morning, ladies! Would you like any
fruit today?"

As Akane politely declined, Ranma looked surprised, then chagrined. "Ah,
nuts! I wanted to change back before we left."

Akane stopped and looked at Ranma. "Do you want to look for some hot
water now?"

Ranma thought for a moment. "We're almost at the N-nekohanten. Let's
just ask them for some."

*****

Sun streamed in the windows of the Nekohanten, as Shampoo went about
cleaning the tables in preparation for another day. She sighed; it was a
beautiful day out. Why did she have to work when all the other teenagers
got to relax on the weekends? She did enjoy the work, but it was so
omnipresent; a break would be nice now and then. As she went from table
to table lifting up soy sauce and napkin dispensers to polish
underneath, she reflected that at least it was air conditioned, for the
customers of course. That would be a blessing during the full heat of
the day. Still...

Shampoo looked up from her work as the chime rang, signaling a customer.
That was odd, it was a little early yet for the lunch crowd. She hurried
towards the door. "Welcome to Nekohanten, what... Oh, Airen! You come
take Shampoo on date?" She rushed over to glomp Ranma, ignoring that she
was in her female form. Ranma began to struggle as she always did, but
then just stopped, looking at Shampoo in an odd way, as if seeing her
for the first time.

Shampoo was so startled she stopped herself. Rather than Ranma's usual
struggles, and Akane's angry reaction, both of which made it so much
more fun, Ranma and Akane were just staring at her. They both looked as
if they were trying to figure something out. It rattled her no end.

She tried to gather her wits. "Airen... come here for reason?"

The strange mood dissipated. Ranma looked down. "Yeah, Shampoo. We wanna
talk to the old... umm, to Cologne."

Cologne sighed and put down the chopstick she had been aiming. Why
couldn't she just have said it like she always did? Just like Ranma to
spoil her fun by not playing the game. She hopped into the dining area
on her stick.

"What is it, Son-in-law? What did you want to talk about?" As she came
up to him, her senses were alerted. Something about Son-in-law was
different. He... She seemed... disturbed about something, and the usual
cocky confidence was missing.

Ranma started studying the floor again. Linoleum tile. She was getting
to be quite familiar with floors, and imagined at this rate she would
soon be able to go into the flooring business. She sighed, and lifted
her head. "I... I got some questions I wanna ask ya. A-About Jusenkyou
curses."

Cologne raised an eyebrow. This seemed to be odd behavior on Ranma's
part. Mousse, who had been working in the kitchen, also wandered in and
watched, or at least tried to.

Cologne said, "Perhaps we should all sit down," and motioned towards one
of the tables. Akane and Ranma sat on one side, and Cologne and Shampoo
on the other. Mousse pulled up a chair, facing the storeroom.

"Now, Son-in-law, what questions do you want to ask?" Mousse noted he
was facing the wrong direction, and turned his chair to face the wall.

Ranma became visibly more nervous, and Cologne had to remind herself
that despite the martial arts prowess of Ranma and the others, they were
all still just teenagers after all. Sometimes they would be vulnerable
or emotionally confused. She turned one part of her mind to wondering
how to exploit this, while turning the rest of her attention back to
Ranma.

Ranma swallowed nervously. "Ummmm... I... I want to know if... if the
curses... affect the way the cursed person, uh, feels..." She blushed
and lowered her face again. Akane reached her hand over and took Ranma's
hand, holding it supportively. Ranma smiled back at Akane in thanks.

Cologne noticed Shampoo scowling out of the corner of her eye. What was
the meaning of this? The usual tension between Ranma and Akane appeared
to be absent. This was bad. Something was going on, and she was going to
get to the bottom of it. If Son-in-law and Akane were progressing in
their relationship, it did not bode well for Shampoo.

"What do you mean, Son-in-law? How the cursed person feels? I don't
quite follow you."

Ranma blushed again. Kami-sama, but this was hard. "I... I mean about
their cursed form."

Cologne could not figure out where this was going; usually she could
read Ranma like a book. "Well, typically people resent the curse.
Sometimes they find it useful. Eventually, they get used to it..."
Cologne trailed off as she noticed Ranma looking at her with fearful
eyes.

"You... you mean... the curse doesn't make people like their cursed
form?"

Warning signals started going off in Cologne's head, but she wasn't
quite sure why; it was just her intuition, after so many decades of
life. She noticed Shampoo lean forward as if to hear better. Mousse,
uncharacteristically, had put on his glasses, and was watching the
conversation intently, finally facing the right way.

Ranma turned to Shampoo. "Shampoo... when... when you're a c-c-cat, do
you feel... don't you feel like you wanna... stay that way? Like... like
it's easier, and more comfortable?"

Shampoo's anger was turning into confusion. "Cursed form very useful
sometimes, but not really like. Shampoo rather be girl than cat."

Mousse added, unbidden, "I have to say the same thing, Saotome. The
curse is an advantage to use against an opponent, but I much prefer my
human form." He frowned. "What is it you're implying?"

Ranma looked like she was in shock, upset, and deathly afraid of
something. The volume of the warning signals in Cologne's head
increased. It was time to get to the heart of the matter.

"What is going on here, Son-in-law? Why are you asking these questions?
I can tell that there is something you two are not telling me." She
spoke calmly, but Ranma could see the determination in her gaze.

Cologne didn't think she'd ever seen Ranma this scared before. She look
terrified, as if facing execution. Her face lowered again, and Cologne
was shocked to see tears starting to gather in Ranma's eyes. Shampoo and
Mousse looked on, speechless. What on Earth was going on here?

Ranma started hugging herself, and Akane moved over and put an arm
around her, giving her a gentle embrace. Ranma shuddered and took a deep
breath, and Shampoo and Mousse felt like doing much the same thing.
Cologne had the feeling that the world had changed, that the rules were
not being followed, in fact the rules were being rewritten. Had they
woken up in some parallel universe this morning?

Cologne pressed Ranma. "Well, Son-in-law?"

Akane said gently, "Ranma, you are going to have to tell them about your
mother, and about... what you found out from her. They're going to find
out eventually anyway." Ranma shuddered again, but nodded, her head
still hung low. Cologne was astounded to see the distress that Ranma was
in. She felt like she had never met the person in front of her before.
Was this really Ranma who sat before them? The strong, macho man who
took on any martial arts challenge? Mousse, too, shook his head in
wonder. Was this the man he had fought so many times?

Ranma lifted her eyes to look at Cologne, whose shock was compounded to
see that they were wet. "Cologne... I... I just met my mom again for the
first time since I was a little... kid. I was really happy to see her,
and she was really happy to see me, too. But... she... she told me
somethin' about myself that... that is kinda turnin' my life upside down
and makin' me all confused. She... she told me that... told me that..."
Ranma lost the ability to speak. How could she reveal all this to the
three people in front of her, when she had only just summoned the
courage to tell it to her closest friend? People who were always
striving not to help her, but to find and exploit her weaknesses in
order to make her Shampoo's mate? But she had to.

Shampoo and Mousse were hanging on the edge of their seats. Cologne
examined Ranma closely, and realized she was struggling, as mightily as
if she were fighting one of her most desperate battles. She surprised
herself by gently encouraging Ranma, "She told you what?"

Ranma took a deep breath, and looked at Akane. Akane smiled, and nodded
her head slightly, as if to say "I'm here. I'll always be here." Ranma
looked back at Cologne, and in a very small voice said, "She... she told
me that I'm a girl." Having made the supreme effort, Ranma once again
hung her head in misery.

Cologne, Shampoo, and Mousse looked on in stunned silence for several
moments, then to Ranma's surprise, they erupted into laughter. "Oh come
now, Son-in-law, what kind of fool do you take me for? I suppose you're
going to tell us now that you can't marry Shampoo? How transparent!
You've tried this once already. What proof do you have for this
ludicrous story?"

Cologne was surprised to see Ranma looking deeply hurt. She hadn't
thought Ranma was this good an actor. She started to wonder; she *knew*
Ranma wasn't this good an actor.

Akane, wordlessly, reached down to the seat next to her, and placed a
small cardboard box on the table. While Cologne, Shampoo, and Mousse
looked on with rapt attention, she removed the lid, lifted a handful of
documents and photographs from inside, and placed them on the table in
front of Cologne. Shampoo scooted her chair over to get a better look,
and Mousse looked over Cologne's shoulder. They all peered at what lay
on the table.

On top of the pile was an aging photograph: a simple family portrait. In
it was a younger version of Genma, whom Cologne knew well. Standing next
to him was a young woman who looked like Ranma's female form, whom
Cologne took to be Ranma's mother. And standing in front of them...

Standing in front of them was the four-year-old version of the
red-headed girl who was sitting in front of Cologne and the others right
now. She was wearing a green sundress, and her red hair was in a
ponytail, held by a pretty ornament. She had an adorable smile on her
face, and clung shyly to her mother.

She turned the photograph over; it was dated July 3, 1987. She turned
her attention to the document underneath it. Her control slipped for a
moment, and the blood drained from her face. Shampoo gave a little gasp.
Mousse looked on, shock written plainly on his face. The document was an
official copy, and bore the appropriate seals. It looked to be many
years old.

Certified Copy, Certificate of Live Birth
City of Tokyo, Nerima Ward

Place of Birth: Nerima General Hospital
Father's name: Saotome Genma
Mother's name: Saotome Nodoka
Date of birth: March 18, 1983
Child's name: Saotome Ranko
Sex: Female

For a moment she thought it was possible the document might be a
forgery, as she knew the middle Tendou sister was... talented, but as
she leafed through the documents and photographs, some showing
Ranko-chan with a same-age Akane, she knew that there were too many of
them for anyone to concoct. She felt a numbness come over her. The rules
of the game had indeed changed, drastically; all bets were off. She
raised her eyes and looked at Ranma again, whose head was still hung
down.

"And how can you explain this? After all, your female form is your
cursed form."

Ranma looked up again, her expression still nervous and fearful. Akane's
arm was still around her shoulders, giving her strength. She would never
have thought she would need anyone else's strength, until the last few
days. "Pop... wanted a son. He... he took me to Happousai not long after
that family picture was taken, and... and... Happousai... turned me into
a boy. When I fell in the Nyanniichuan, it made my cursed form... me."
She swallowed. "The real me."

Cologne let out a long sigh. Of course, *he* would be involved. How
typical for him to be responsible for this. Shampoo was still staring at
the birth certificate, looking back and forth between it and Ranma, who
looked like she was ready to cry. Mousse was staring at Ranma; he didn't
want to be that rude, but he couldn't help it. His rival for Shampoo's
affections, the best martial artist he knew, was really a *girl*?
Cologne scrutinized the red-haired girl in front of her as if seeing her
for the first time; in a sense, she was. Ranma felt very uncomfortable
under their combined gaze.

"And what of your engagement to the Tendous?"

Ranma looked at Akane again, who smiled and nodded again, a little
sadly. "My mom... she said... she said that there was no way she was
gonna let her... d-daughter marry another girl. She said all the
engagements are off -- Akane included."

That was enough for Shampoo, who put her head in her hands and started
sobbing quietly, while Ranma looked on, miserable. Mousse put his hands
on Shampoo's shoulders to comfort her, and for once she didn't object;
he kept his eyes on Ranma. Cologne nodded; it was no surprise the mother
would say that, and a mother's word was sacrosanct. "And what do you
intend to do? Are you going to remain male or resume your life as Ranko?"

At this Ranma looked even more fearful and uncertain, if that was
possible. "I... I dunno. I'm still tryin' to figure out how I feel about
all this stuff. I only found out a couple days ago myself. I... I..."
Ranma trailed off.

Cologne leaned forward and pierced Ranma with her gaze. The force of
decades of wisdom and experience were behind it. Ranma gulped; she
couldn't take her eyes off Cologne. "And the questions about Jusenkyou
curses? Why did you ask?" Cologne was pretty sure she knew, but she had
to make sure.

Ranma looked like a deer caught in headlights. She shifted uneasily in
her seat. She wanted to take her eyes off Cologne, to look somewhere
else, the floor, the table, the bottle of soy sauce sitting on the
table, anywhere but Cologne, but she couldn't. Shampoo looked up,
red-eyed; she and Mousse hung on Ranma's answer. Ranma swallowed again.
"I... I wanted to see... I wanted to see if the feelin's I was havin'
were... were the curse or... or..." she finally broke her gaze away and
looked down, her voice dropping to a whisper. "or... me."

Cologne leaned back in her chair, and sighed. All those months, all that
planning... the child had finally defeated her, and the biggest joke
was, she didn't even realize it. Cologne didn't know whether to laugh or
cry. She happened to glance at Akane. Akane looked back, and smiled a
sad smile. So, the Tendou girl was more perceptive than she had thought.
She'd figured it out even though Son... Ranma hadn't.

Cologne mercifully didn't pursue her line of questioning. "Very well,
Ranma. We shall wait and see how things develop." Her tone softened.
"Should you need any assistance in resolving this... crisis, please come
and see me. I will try to help."

Ranma looked at Cologne, astonished. Of all the reactions she had been
expecting, this was not one she had ever thought she would hear. Shampoo
broke off her quiet crying and also looked at Cologne, dumbfounded.
Cologne continued to gaze back at Ranma, her face serious but calm.

"Th-thanks, Cologne. I... I really appreciate it. I... Th-thank you."
Ranma said earnestly.

Cologne turned to Akane. "And what are your feelings on this, Akane?"

Akane was surprised as well; Cologne rarely addressed her by name, or
asked her feelings on anything. "Well, as you can tell from the
pictures, Ranko... Ranma and I were very close when we were little. I...
I think I knew that, even when she first showed up, even though I didn't
recognize her as my childhood playmate. I want to help Ranma through
this." She smiled. "She is still my friend; my best friend. Her mother
said we were like sisters back then." Ranma smiled back, a little
nervously.

Cologne nodded; it was becoming clearer why the two were so devoted to
each other while never acting like proper fiancees. "I see. My offer to
Ranma applies to you as well, Akane. Should you need help in this, I
stand willing to assist you." Shampoo looked like she was ready to pass
out from shock. Even Mousse looked surprised.

Akane bowed her head. "Thank you, Cologne." She stood, and tugged gently
at Ranma's arm. "Come on, Ranma. We should get going. We still need to
visit Dr. Toufuu." Ranma nodded, and got up. Akane collected the
documents and photographs, carefully returned them to the box, then
closed it and tucked it under her arm.

Ranma turned to Cologne and bowed respectfully, and Akane followed suit.
"Thanks, Cologne. I... I guess I wasn't expectin' help when I came
here." She looked embarrassed. "Thank you. I really mean it."

Cologne rose. "You are welcome, Ranma. I have no doubt that someone of
your abilities will be able to resolve this situation." Ranma nodded,
and turned towards the door.

"Ranma?" asked Akane. Ranma stopped and turned back with a questioning
look. "Didn't you want some hot water?"

Ranma looked surprised, then vexed. "Oh. Oh, yeah. Hey Cologne, ummm,
could I get some hot water?" Cologne nodded, then looked at Mousse, who
moved to the kitchen, returning with a kettle, which he handed to Ranma.
Ranma took it and a few moments later was male again, if damp. He handed
the kettle back to Mousse, thanked him, and he and Akane were on their
way.

Cologne watched the back of the black-haired mirage she had been chasing
for so many months as he walked out the door, and sighed once more.

Shampoo quickly turned to Cologne, and switched to speaking in Mandarin.
<Great-grandmother, what about the engagement? Is it really over?> she
asked, clearly upset.

Cologne stood up. <Legally, Ranma is female, and so the Kiss of Marriage
does not apply. Amazon law does not require you to marry... her. As for
the Kiss of Death, we've already dragged that in front of the Council
once, and I see no reason to do it again. You've been punished for that
with your Jusenkyou curse. That's over and done with.>

Shampoo cast her eyes down, then looked back up. <But... he's still
really a boy, isn't he? Can't I still marry him?> Mousse's face fell.

Cologne sighed. <Shampoo, you are supposed to be an heir to leadership.
You heard what Ranma said about how she felt. You heard her mother's
opinion on the subject. What do you think?>

Shampoo lowered her eyes. <Maybe... maybe he's just confused, and... and
he'll stay male. Maybe his mother will come around.>

Cologne regarded her for a long time. Shampoo felt as if she were being
evaluated, and found wanting. <Shampoo, Amazon law says nothing one way
or the other about this. If you continue to pursue Ranma, it's now a
purely personal matter. Are you sure you want to keep after Ranma,
considering everything we've just heard?>

Shampoo sighed. <I'm just not ready to... to give up... yet.>

*****

The sun was ascending rapidly, and Ranma was actually glad he was wet.
The evaporation made it a kind of natural air conditioning, and helped
ward off the stifling heat of summer. He sighed; it wouldn't last long.

He and Akane were taking a short break at the park on their walk to Dr.
Toufuu's. A short spell under the shade of a tree was just the thing for
Akane, who did not have the benefit of being wet. Ranma was also
grateful for the break. The unending stream of revelations about himself
-- about his curse, about his identity, about his feelings -- was simply
overwhelming him. It was almost like it was happening to someone else,
and he was just watching.

Even in the heat of the day, there were still children playing at the
park, though their running seemed a little less energetic than usual. As
hot as it was, some homes were hotter still inside, and it was good to
get out. Air conditioning was spreading rapidly but still was not
universal. Akane and Ranma sat, and watched the world go by.

"Ranma, what do you think? About what Cologne said about the curses?"
Akane turned her head to look at him.

Ranma continued staring off into the distance. "Maybe... maybe it only
happens with human-form curses?..."

Akane sighed. "Do you really believe that?"

Ranma didn't move. After a long time, he finally said, in a quiet voice,
"No. Not really." His face became angry. "Why? Why me? This can't be
happening to me! It just can't! I... I've lived so long as a guy, I *am*
a guy! I'm Saotome Ranma, man amongst men, the best martial artist in
Japan! I know who I am!" His voice dropped again, his anger dissipating
suddenly, and a bewildered expression appeared in his eyes. "At least...
at least I thought I did."

Ranma's eyes were looking in the general direction of the playground,
but Akane knew he was seeing something else. "Girls... girls are weak,
and stupid, and waste time on all sorts'a dumb stuff... but... but... I
wish..." He lowered his head and put his hand across his eyes. "No. I...
I can't!"

Akane found Ranma's usual misogyny surprisingly easy to tolerate these
days, knowing now where it was coming from. Besides, she fully intended
to punish the real source. She wondered what kind of wall ornament a
panda hide might make.

After a few more minutes of silently watching Ranma lost in his
thoughts, she tugged gently at his sleeve. "Come on, Ranma. I'm sure Dr.
Toufuu can help. You know he does counseling too, along with all his
medical work." She wiped her arm across the sweat beaded on her brow.
"Besides, the clinic is air conditioned!"

*****

Dr. Toufuu leaned back in his chair, removed his glasses, and began to
polish them with a cloth he kept on his desk. In the background, the
clinic air conditioner thrummed, laboring mightily to keep the clinic
cool in the face of the blast furnace outside. Behind the blinds on the
windows, intense light flared, as if the heat were trying to break its
way in.

On the other side of his desk were Ranma and Akane, and on the desk lay
the same set of documents that Akane had displayed at the Nekohanten. He
replaced his glasses, trying to keep his expression neutral, but
couldn't help sighing. He was worried about Ranma's ability to cope with
this.

He had always thought that Ranma's intense focus on martial arts had
left him a somewhat one-dimensional individual, without a full range of
interests, friends, and activities. Ranma's lack of a well-rounded
personality might cause him even more difficulty in working through this
challenge to his identity. Dr. Toufuu now suspected that that intense
focus was a direct result of the trauma that Ranma -- Ranko -- had
suffered as a child.

"Ranma, I'm truly sorry to hear that your father did such a terrible
thing to you. I can't imagine why a father would do something like this
to his child, no matter how much he may have wanted a son." Dr. Toufuu's
voice took on a hard edge. "I must have a word with Saotome-san when he
reappears."

Akane added, "You and me both, Doctor."

Ranma listened silently to all of this. He took a deep breath, as he
prepared to talk about his innermost feelings for the third time today.
At least it was getting a little easier. He wondered if he would ever be
able to regain the stoicism he had had before this crisis... or if he
even wanted to.

"Doc... this... this ain't all I wanted to talk to you about."

Dr. Toufuu's eyebrow raised. "I can't say I'm surprised. What else did
you want to discuss? I'll try to help, if I can."

Ranma looked at Akane again, and once more drew strength from the quiet
smile he found there. Maybe one good thing about this whole situation
was that it seemed that the bad parts of their relationship were
sloughing off, disappearing, leaving something wonderfully solid behind.
"I... even before I found this out, I... I had some feelings... about...
about bein' a guy." He swallowed nervously. "Akane says I oughta talk
'em over with you."

Dr. Toufuu gently encouraged him. "Yes, Ranma? Go ahead."

Ranma paused. "Uh, well, uh... I... I told Akane that the reason I was
proud'a bein' a guy was... I told her that bein' a guy was much harder
than bein' a girl, that it was hard to be manly in all things, the way
Pop always said I should be. I... I had told Pop about how hard it was,
and he said that's why we can be proud we're men, 'cause it's tough.
Akane said, ummm, she... she wasn't sure that... that feelin' that way
was... normal?" Ranma looked at Dr. Toufuu, a plea for contradiction in
his eyes.

Dr. Toufuu paused for a long moment, as if considering Ranma's words
very carefully. "Ranma, I have to agree with Akane. I don't think it's
normal at all. Most people are quite comfortable with either being a man
or a woman. I certainly don't feel that being a man is hard. I am glad I
am a man, and so are most other men."

Ranma's head was buzzing, and he looked down once more. At least he
couldn't see the floor, thanks to Dr. Toufuu's desk. He was getting
tired of floors. He had been expecting this answer, but that didn't make
him any happier to hear it.

"What about your cursed form, or should I say your true form, Ranma? How
do you feel about that?"

Akane and Ranma exchanged quick, surprised glances. It seemed that Dr.
Toufuu had some understanding of how Ranma felt, even though he hadn't
heard the full story yet. Ranma felt better about talking to Dr. Toufuu;
it seemed as if it might be something he was familiar with.

"Well, one of the first things I noticed after gettin' cursed was... was
how much easier it felt. It didn't feel hard at all, not like bein' a
man was. And... after a while... I... I started to like it... and now I
feel like... like I want to s-stay that way... and... like I *should*
stay that way. I thought it was the curse makin' me feel like that,
but... but we talked to Cologne, and she says... she says it don't work
that way." Again he looked Dr. Toufuu in the eye, his gaze questioning,
hoping to be rescued from the corner he felt himself being backed into.

Dr. Toufuu sighed. "Cologne is quite right, Ranma. The curse usually
causes discomfort, not comfort and happiness. If you are having those
feelings, they are because of the way you feel, not because of the
curse."

Ranma closed his eyes. He had been afraid this would be the answer,
afraid this was the direction things were heading; he had just hoped he
was wrong. He opened his eyes again. "But why? Why should I feel this
way? I'm a man! I'm proud'a bein' a man! I know I was a girl when I was
little, but that don't matter any more! It was years ago!"

Dr. Toufuu shook his head. "It matters a lot, Ranma. You were born a
normal girl, and you spent the first four years or so of your life as a
girl. Those are very formative years, and you cannot shake off their
influence, no matter how many years pass." He looked Ranma directly in
the eye. "Ranma, I think the reason you feel uncomfortable about being a
boy, and have feelings of wanting to be a girl and finding life easier
that way, may well be because you *are* a girl. You may have been raised
as a boy, you may think of yourself as a boy and act like one, but there
are many fundamental differences between boys and girls and you can't
just grow out of them. Having a normal male body and a normal male brain
thanks to Happousai's magic probably helps mask that somewhat, but the
influence of your early years is still there. And when you regained your
female form, the feelings would be amplified considerably."

Ranma stared back at Dr. Toufuu. "Are... are you sure about that? I
barely remember bein' a girl!"

Dr. Toufuu nodded. "Look at Ukyou, Ranma. She has been raised as a boy
almost from the same age. Granted, she has always had her female body,
but despite all those years of her father pressuring her to be more
masculine, she's still a girl, and she still wants to be a girl. Does
she like living her life as a boy?" Ranma shook his head. "Ranma, you
are in a similar situation. When you are in female form, you are in
exactly the same situation."

Fear blossomed again in Ranma's eyes. He looked at Dr. Toufuu as if he
were Death incarnate, come to take Ranma's life away, and replace it
with... who knows what. "But... but Doc... are you sayin' that I oughta
be a girl? Just 'cause I used to be one when I was little? I... I don't
think I can do that!" Sweat broke out on his forehead, despite the air
conditioning in the clinic.

Dr. Toufuu shook his head. "No, Ranma. I'm saying that the thing you
need to do is to decide how to live your life so you will be happy and
well adjusted, so you can live a meaningful, full life. Only you can
decide how to do that. Given your history, there may well be problems
for you either way. All I am trying to do is encourage you to consider
all your options." Ranma was speechless as he considered the doctor's
words.

Akane turned to Ranma. "Ranma, are you happy?"

He looked at her in surprise. "Wh-what?"

"Are you happy? Do you enjoy life? Do you like who and what you are, are
you comfortable with yourself? Do you like what you do every day? Do you
have friends who like you for who you are? Everyone needs these things
to be happy."

Ranma's eyes were wide, and his mouth hung open. Such a simple question.
"No..." he whispered in reply.

"Do you like being a boy? Never mind being proud of it, never mind how
noble you think it is, never mind what your father wanted. Do *you*
*like* it? Are you glad you are a boy, the way Dr. Toufuu says he is
glad he is a man? The way I am glad I am a girl?"

Ranma had a haunted look in his eyes, and tears started to collect in
the corners. "No..." he whispered again.

Akane turned to Dr. Toufuu again, with pleading in her gaze of a
different sort. Dr. Toufuu nodded slightly, and spoke.

"Ranma, have you given any thought to becoming Ranko again, being a
girl?"

Ranma was silent for several minutes, his cheeks tinged slightly red.
Dr. Toufuu and Akane watched and waited, patiently. Akane couldn't
imagine what Ranma must be feeling right now. She felt like crying for
him.

Ranma finally spoke. "Yes... Yes, I thought about it... but..." he
trailed off.

Dr. Toufuu again gently encouraged him to continue. "But what, Ranma?
What do you think about it?"

Ranma looked thoughtful. "Well, Pop always said girls were stupid, and
weak, and just got in men's way." He looked at Akane. "I guess... I
guess since he lied about so much, he... he probably lied about that,
too." Akane smiled. "But... but I thought that way for so long, I... I
dunno if I can shake that off. I can't be a girl if I look down on
girls. How can I be happy that way?"

Dr. Toufuu smiled. "That's very perceptive of you Ranma. You *have*
thought about this." He sat back in his chair. "Were there other things?"

Ranma dropped his eyes again. "Yes..." he whispered. Dr. Toufuu didn't
press, giving Ranma the time he needed to gather his words. Ranma had
never said these words prior to the last few days; he had been ashamed
to ever utter them. But considering the maelstrom he was engulfed in, he
thought... it was probably natural. He hated to admit it, but it was
true.

"I'm... I'm scared." He swallowed again. "I'm scared about bein' a girl.
I... I don't really know what it's like, even though I pretended a few
times. I don't know if I'll like it. I'm afraid everyone I know will
make fun of me, that I won't have any friends." Fear showed itself in
Ranma's eyes. "What if I become a girl, and it's worse? What could I do
then?" He shrank into his chair, his eyes dropping again. Akane scooted
over and once more put her arm around him. He let out a sigh; he never
would have imagined that could be so comforting.

Dr. Toufuu thought for a few moments. "Ranma, summer break is coming up,
isn't it? School will be out for four weeks after this week, won't it?"

Ranma looked up. "Uh, yeah, but..." What was Toufuu getting at?

"You'll have four weeks where you won't have to interact much with your
schoolmates. Why not try spending that time as Ranko? Stay away from the
usual places you go, try going other places, and you won't run into
people you know. Even if you do, you've posed as a girl before, so
they'll think you're just doing it again for some reason. Spend four
weeks as Ranko, and see how you feel about it, see how it goes. If you
don't like it, we can talk more about what else you could do. If you do
like it, you can try going to school that way and see how that feels."

Ranma shook his head. "I can't ever imagine goin' to school as a girl!
What'll everyone say?"

Dr. Toufuu shook his head. "Don't worry about that now. If you like
being Ranko, if you decide you want to stay that way, then I am sure we
can work something out. I'll talk it over with you when and if that
happens."

Ranma was lost in thought. "I... I still dunno if I can do this..."

Dr. Toufuu smiled. "Just think about it. No one is going to force you to
do something you don't want to do. This is all about what you want and
what makes you happy. Again, I'm just trying to get you to consider all
the options, and not make assumptions based on what your father taught
you. It's not his life we're discussing here." Ranma nodded slowly.

Akane added under her breath, "That's what *you* think."

"And Ranma?"

Ranma gave his full attention to Dr. Toufuu. "What, Doc?"

"Try to work on overcoming some of that anti-female propaganda your
father pumped you full of. You're absolutely right, it would make it
hard for you to be happy as a girl. Actually, it's a liability even if
you stay a man; it would make it nearly impossible to relate to women
well." He gave a meaningful glance towards Akane, and Ranma blushed
slightly. "You will have to make an active effort to overcome your
father's influence if you want to have the best chance at finding
happiness."

Ranma nodded his head again, with some confidence this time. "You're...
you're right, Doc." He smiled. "Thanks. I... I never expected talkin'
about this could help so much. I... I really appreciate it."

Dr. Toufuu gave both of them a warm smile. "You're very welcome, Ranma.
I hope that this helps you to be happier than you are right now, no
matter what you decide. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I have a
patient waiting. I hope you don't mind if I kick the two of you out?" He
grinned, and Ranma and Akane grinned as well.

Ranma felt better about this whole mess than he had since it started.
Having Akane and Dr. Toufuu on his side made him feel like maybe this
challenge could be met, after all.

With the documents once more tucked away in the cardboard box under
Akane's arm, she and Ranma left the clinic, leaving Dr. Toufuu behind,
deep in thought. He didn't remember to call in his next patient for
several minutes.

*****

The children were definitely flagging in the heat as Ranma and Akane
detoured through the park on the way home to the Tendou Dojo. Ranma,
feeling a bit overwhelmed by airing his most secret feelings to so many
people that day, wanted to take a break before repeating the process
with the Tendous.

They had been lucky to find a bench in the shade, next to a small
fountain. Ranma eyed the fountain warily, but decided there was no way
the water could reach that far. They spent several minutes watching the
few hardy souls who still tried to be active in the midafternoon heat.
There were a few children left; it was not clear how they avoided
collapsing from the heat. Every now and then a runner would jog past,
perspiring profusely, their clothes drenched. Once, an elderly gentleman
came walking by with his cane, immaculately dressed in a suit. He nodded
his head as he passed, and the ghost of a smile passed his lips.

Ranma was oblivious to all of this; he was far, far away. Akane studied
his face. Right now he looked as male as ever, but Akane wondered what
had been going on in Ranma's head the whole time she had known him. She
had thought he was a macho jerk, insensitive, hardly ever opening his
mouth except to put his foot in it. But this was a facade, Akane now
knew. She still remembered the day they met, when Akane had thought
Ranma was a somewhat shy but friendly girl. That image had been
shattered in the bath that night.

For a long time, Akane had been furious at the perceived deception, but
every now and then -- and today in particular -- a different person had
peeked out from behind the bravado, someone not unlike the girl she had
thought she met. Who was Ranma, really? Akane had seen vulnerability in
Ranma since this whole affair had started. Was it new, or had it been
there all along, hidden away? She wondered what person would be revealed
when all was said and done. She was pretty sure that, male or female, it
would not be the same Ranma she had known. She prayed that person would
be happy.

She waved her hand in front of his face. "Hello! Earth to Ranma!"

Ranma started, then grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, Akane. I... I guess I
got a lot to think about these days..."

"Have you reached any conclusions?"

Ranma drooped a little. "Nope. I'm still goin' round in circles."

Akane frowned. "Ranma, are you seriously considering Dr. Toufuu's idea?
About trying out life as Ranko?"

Ranma looked sad. "Yeah, well, I guess so, but I still don't think it's
gonna work out. I mean, how could someone like me enjoy livin' as a
girl? Can you see me wearin' dresses, and goin' shoppin', and gigglin'?"

Akane shook her head. "Ranma, is that what you think life as a girl is
about?"

Ranma looked pensive. "I... I guess I dunno, do I? What life as a girl
is like." He looked off into the distance again.

"There's really only one way to find out, you know."

Ranma snapped, "Why are you so anxious for me to try it?"

Akane held her temper with some effort. Ranma was lashing out because he
was upset. She could not keep a little fire out of her voice, though.
"Ranma, if you had said you hated being a girl and loved being a boy, we
wouldn't be having this conversation. No matter who you were when you
were born, of course you'd live as a boy if you felt that way.

"But that's not how you feel, is it? You said you don't like being a
boy, that it makes you unhappy. You said that you feel more comfortable
as a girl. I don't understand why you're so reluctant to try it when it
sounds like it might make you happy! I don't like seeing you unhappy..."

Ranma turned to look at Akane, and held her gaze for a few moments.
Akane saw the uncertainty and fear there. "'Cause if I become a girl I
won't be me any more! I'll be someone else, a different person. That's
scary, Akane!"

Akane didn't have an easy answer to that.

They both stared at the scenery for a few minutes. A flock of birds,
apparently unfazed by the heat, landed on the edge of the fountain and
began to take advantage of the cool water.

Akane turned back to Ranma. "Ranma, I... I know it's scary. But, do you
really want to be unhappy for the rest of your life for the sake of
staying the person you are now? Is it worth it? I am *not* anxious for
you to become a girl. I am anxious for you to be happy. You've already
said you aren't. I don't know if being a girl will make you happy or
not, Ranma, but are you willing to write that option off without even
trying it? Suppose that's the only way you'll ever be happy?" Akane
looked close to tears.

Ranma looked contrite. "You're... you're right, Akane. I... I'm thinkin'
about it. It just scares the pants off me..." Ranma trailed off while
looking at Akane, who was giggling. "What'd I say?"

Between giggles, Akane said "Scares the pants off you?"

Ranma started chuckling himself. "I guess I didn't mean it that..."

Suddenly, there was the sound of young feet running full tilt down the
path. A boyish form went flying through the air, accompanied by an
incoherent yell of joy; birds scattered every which way in a blind
panic, chittering angrily at the rude interruption, and a gusher of
water erupted as the small body landed in the fountain.

A woman in her twenties came running down the path moments later. "Aki?
Aki, how many times have I told you not to do that! Look what you did to
this poor girl!"

The woman turned to the drenched redhead sitting on the bench, wondering
briefly why her friend was laughing uncontrollably, and was also
curiously dry. "I'm terribly sorry, Miss. Are you all right?"

"Oh," said Ranma in a flat voice, "Oh yes. I am just fine, thank you."

Akane erupted into another laughing fit, and Ranma couldn't help but
smile.

*****

It was getting on towards dinner time at the Tendou Dojo, although the
sun was far from the horizon. The first hint of a cooling off was
starting to be felt. Kasumi was working on dinner, and wondering where
Akane and Ranma were; she had expected them long ago based on Auntie
Saotome's phone call.

Nabiki was out, no doubt finding an air-conditioned reprieve somewhere.
Kasumi was sure she would be back in time for dinner. Father had left on
a trip, leaving a note behind.

Kasumi sighed. She didn't quite know what to make of this whole
situation. Auntie Saotome's story seemed almost too fantastic to
believe, even with Happousai's confirmation. Then again, Jusenkyou had
seemed too fantastic to believe at first, hadn't it?

She thought about Ranma. Was he really a girl? He certainly didn't act
like one, but Kasumi supposed that was due to his upbringing. Could
Uncle Saotome really be so heartless as to have done such a thing to his
own daughter? Kasumi knew he had his faults, but didn't think it was
possible. She was at a loss to explain any of this. She sighed and
turned her attention back to dinner.

Some minutes later, the front door slid open, and Nabiki's call of
"Tadaima!" floated down the hall. Kasumi called back "O-kaeri!". Moments
later, Nabiki ducked into the kitchen.

"Hey, Oneechan, where is everyone? Aren't the girls back yet?" Nabiki
snickered.

Kasumi sighed. "No, I haven't heard from them. Auntie said they left
early this morning, right after breakfast. They should have been back by
now." She thought a moment more. "You might not want to call them that
to their faces. I know they are both a bit confused by what's happened
recently."

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Where's the fun in that?" She went to sit at
the table. "By the way, where's Daddy?"

Kasumi paused. "He... he left earlier while I was out shopping. He left
a note saying that he was going to try to find Uncle Saotome. I know
that Father misses him terribly. He said in the note that he wants to
bring him back."

Nabiki considered that. "I don't think it would be very healthy for
Uncle Saotome to drop in right now. Even if pandas are an endangered
species."

Kasumi didn't think there was much to add to that.

She was still working on dinner, and Nabiki reading a financial
magazine, when both heard the gate open and the sounds of two girls
talking. A moment later, the front door opened again.

Both called out "Tadaima!" at the same time, and Kasumi and Nabiki
responded. A moment later they came into the kitchen. Ranma was slightly
damp, which undoubtedly explained why she was a girl at the moment; she
was also looking unusually somber. Nabiki looked up from her magazine
long enough to say "About time we saw you..." -- her eyes flicked in
Kasumi's direction for a moment -- "guys." She went back to her magazine.

Kasumi turned away from the dinner preparations for a moment. "Where
have you two been all day? I was expecting you much earlier. You're both
certainly old enough, but it would have been nice to call and let me
know you would be late."

Akane turned a little red. "Sorry, Oneechan. We were out visiting some
people today."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow but appeared to still be engrossed in her
magazine.

"Oh?" said Kasumi, as she turned her attentions back to dinner, which
was nearly ready. "That's nice! Whom did you visit?"

Ranma and Akane exchanged glances. Ranma spoke. "Dr. Toufuu, and...
ummm... the N-nekohanten."

Nabiki's eyes were still on the magazine, but they were not seeing the
print on the page.

Kasumi stopped. "The Nekohanten? Really? Why there? And why did you
visit Dr. Toufuu? Is one of you ill?" She was watching both of them.

Ranma and Akane exchanged glances again. Akane shook her head. "No,
Oneechan, no one's sick. We... we have a lot to talk about." She looked
at Ranma, who nodded uncertainly. Nabiki frowned behind her magazine.

"Oh dear," said Kasumi, "Dinner will be ready soon. It sounds important,
but I don't think dinner will keep well. Would you mind waiting until
right after we eat?"

Ranma piped up quickly. "Wait? No problem at all."

*****

By the end of dinner, all three sisters' attention was focused on Ranma.
The confident, arrogant young man they all knew was gone, leaving
someone who seemed lost, in distress, and -- unthinkable! -- helpless.
She sat and picked morosely at her food, and Kasumi knew that something
was very wrong: Ranma rarely ate at speeds visible to the human eye,
much less showed a lack of appetite. Nabiki looked for the young man she
knew in the redhead's eyes, and had trouble finding him. She was anxious
for dinner to be over, to find out what had happened today. Akane
thought back over all the times when Ranma had rescued her, and prayed
that she would be able to return the favor. She had hoped that the
familiar surroundings would cheer Ranma, but her mood seemed to darken
at unpredictable times.

Eventually, the dishes were cleared, and Ranma felt the moment of her
execution drawing nearer. She hoped for sympathy and understanding from
Kasumi, but she was not looking forward to the reaction from Nabiki,
much less Tendou-san when he returned. She hoped he was unsuccessful in
his mission, as she did not feel ready to face her father on top of
everything else she was going through right now. She didn't know if she
would kill him, or grab onto him and not let go.

Akane stood from the table. "Kasumi-neechan, Nabiki-neechan, Ranma and I
have some things we need to discuss with you." She glanced at Ranma, who
looked miserable.

Nabiki's pulse quickened. She hated secrets, and she was about to find
out what was going on here.

Soon they were settled in the Tendou living room, which was sparsely
furnished. A TV stood at one end, and there were cushions positioned in
front of it. There was a small sofa, and a couple of upholstered chairs.
Some Western art hung on the wall; Impressionist, from the look of it.
The shogi table at which Souun and Genma played their games stood mutely
in a corner, neglected.

Akane sat on the sofa next to Ranma, holding her hand, the two of them
facing Akane's sisters. Kasumi looked sympathetic and supportive, while
Nabiki's face showed the same passive expression she always had.

Ranma summoned her courage. "Uhhh... well... when... when we were at my
Mom's house, uh, she... she showed us a buncha stuff, videos and
pictures and things. They... it... it's pretty clear that when I was
born I was a... a girl." She dropped her head. She was already very
familiar with the Tendou living room floor, having had her face pounded
into it countless times; it was like looking at an old friend.

Kasumi glanced at Nabiki, who retained her aloof expression, then spoke.
"Ranma-kun, I... I know this must be hard for you to find out, but does
it really matter to you, here and now? After all, you don't even
remember it, do you, so it doesn't have to affect your life today. Just
because you were born a girl doesn't mean you're not a boy now." She
smiled sympathetically, but was surprised when Ranma winced and turned
red.

"Ummm... well, I... I kinda do remember it, uhhh, a little, sorta." She
stopped. Akane squeezed her hand, and she continued, "Some of the
pictures at my Mom's house sorta... sorta jogged my memory. I... I
remember bein' a girl, just... just a little."

Nabiki still had the bored expression on her face, but her eyes never
left Ranma.

Kasumi was taken aback. "I... I see. Well, still, that doesn't mean you
have to change who you are now, does it? I know you are a boy now, and
you can certainly stay that way. Just because you were born a girl..."
Kasumi trailed off as Ranma's face turned beet red, and she looked
horribly embarrassed. Ranma lowered her head again.

Kasumi spoke gently. "Ranma-kun, what's wrong? You can tell us. What is
bothering you so much?"

Ranma lifted her head and made an effort to speak, but just couldn't.
Akane let go of her hand and hugged Ranma, a move that startled Kasumi,
and nearly caused Nabiki's facade to fracture. What was going on here?
How had the relationship between these two changed so much so quickly?

Ranma took a deep breath. She said in a quiet voice, "I... I'm not
sure... I... I wanna... stay a... boy."

*****

Two hours later, they were all watching Nodoka's home video of
Ranko-chan and Akane-chan's tea party. Kasumi and Nabiki watched in rapt
fascination, Nabiki losing her battle to keep her feelings hidden. As
seven-year-old Kasumi walked on screen, Kasumi started a little. Her
eyes began darting between the red-haired girl on the screen, and the
red-haired girl sitting in her living room. Nabiki noticed, and watched
her continue this until the video reached its end.

There was silence for a few moments. Then, Kasumi spoke. "It... it was
you all along, wasn't it? I remember now, just a little. When... when
you came here I had this feeling I had seen you before, but I couldn't
place where. It was so odd. When your father said you had only had that
female form for two weeks, that you were a boy, I figured you must just
look like someone I knew." She drew a deep breath. "Oh... Ranko-chan...
I... I had no idea it was you..." Ranma looked startled at being called
Ranko-chan; there was confusion in her eyes. Kasumi's eyes cast about,
as if she were trying to figure out what to do next. "Would, would
anyone like some tea?"

There were some quiet replies, and Kasumi went off to the kitchen,
leaving everyone to their thoughts. A few minutes later, she returned
with a tray. She handed out cups, and poured tea for everyone. She sat
and sipped her own for a few moments to compose her thoughts.

"I... I didn't make the connection before, even after your mother called
you Ranko, but watching that video brings back memories. Ranko-chan,
you... you were so close to us, like a baby sister. Especially to Akane;
you two were like twins, inseparable. You slept over at each other's
houses constantly, you even shared the same futon. Our parents were so
happy that you two continued the close ties between our families."

She paused for a few moments, eyes unfocused, before taking another sip
of tea. "I remember, we gave you a little rag doll for your birthday
once; I think it had a peasant dress and a straw bonnet. You were so
happy, and you named it after me!" Ranma's eyes bulged slightly, but she
said nothing.

Kasumi's voice became somber, and tears gathered in her eyes. "Then...
then suddenly, your family stopped visiting. Mother and Father never
told us why we never saw the Saotomes any more. Akane was beside
herself; she cried for you for weeks. N-not long after, Mother's illness
worsened, and she died, and we were all swept up in our grief." All
three sisters looked grim, and for a short while, no one said anything.

Kasumi sighed, and took another sip of tea before continuing, "We were
all so young, and Mother's death was just so overwhelming to us, we...
we just forgot about you." Her eyes grew more watery. She glanced over
at Nabiki, who had regained her composure and was laconic as always.
"Even now, I don't remember very much, and Akane and Nabiki were even
younger. The thing I remember most, though, is how close you and Akane
were. You couldn't have been closer if you had truly been twins." Tears
started to spill down her cheeks. "Oh, Ranko-chan, I'm... I'm so sorry
for you."

Ranma was looking back at Kasumi, agony written on her face. Kasumi went
over to where she was sitting, and gave her a hug as well. "I'll help
you through this, Ranko-chan. No matter what you decide. I'm... I'm so
sorry."

To her own surprise, tears were starting to fall from Ranma's eyes, too;
this was just too much, too overwhelming. Not just a girl, but like a
sister to Akane and the others? Akane's twin sister? Who... who was she,
really? Who was this other person she had been? Where had that person
gone; was she still inside Ranma, somewhere? She let Kasumi and Akane
hold her as she started to cry in earnest, sobbing quietly in their
embrace.

What was happening to her? Saotome Ranma, man amongst men, would never
have cried like this, would never have opened up his feelings. She felt
that in acknowledging her feelings about her gender, she had opened
Pandora's box, and things would never be the same. A part of her was
screaming to fight this, to hide her feelings, but... but she didn't
really want to, and she simply couldn't. Not any more. Kasumi, in her
loving sympathy, had unwittingly taken a sledgehammer to her crumbling
emotional control.

After a time, she stopped crying, and for a while they just sat, each
lost in her own thoughts. Nabiki finally spoke. "So, Ranma, where does
this leave us? Are you going to do as Dr. Toufuu suggests?"

Fear blossomed once again in Ranma's eyes. "I... m-maybe. I... I just
don't know." She swallowed, but didn't say the words she had said to
Akane and Dr. Toufuu. She wasn't ready to say those words in front of
anyone else yet. She was still too ashamed to admit that she was
terrified, frightened worse than she had ever been in her life, except
for the Nekoken training.

Nabiki stood up and stretched. "Well, this has been quite an evening.
All this angst has worn me out, and I am going to take a quick bath and
turn in." She headed for the bath.

Ranma stood as well. "Akane, I... I think I need to take a walk. I'm too
wired to sleep, and I need to calm down." She smiled a fragile smile.
"I'll... I'll be back soon, don't worry." She slowly walked to the
genkan, put on her shoes, and stepped out the front door.

Akane and Kasumi sat there in somewhat of a daze for a few moments.
Kasumi finally spoke. "Akane, I know I seem naive about some things, but
I understand people and their feelings very well. What is Ranko-chan so
frightened about?"

Akane bit her lip. "Oneechan, I... I think she really wants to be a girl
again. She told you how she feels earlier. But she's terrified. She's
been a boy so long, she's forgotten what it's like being a girl, and it
scares her; she's so used to being a boy even though she doesn't like
it." Tears started to form in her eyes. "And... and it's eating her up!
She wants to try Dr. Toufuu's idea, but she's so scared, and she's
suffered so much, and she hated being a boy the whole time! The whole
time! All those years, and she wasn't even happy! And that damned father
of hers was pounding her to be a 'man amongst men' the whole time! What
kind of a life has she had? I... I thought I knew who Ranma was, but
none of us did. Inside that obnoxious, macho shell, he was hurting,
hurting for so long..." She started sobbing, and Kasumi moved to hold
her. Akane buried her head in Kasumi's shoulder and cried. "She's so
unhappy, and it's tearing me up..."

Kasumi held Akane and stroked her hair for a few minutes.

"Akane," said Kasumi gently, "you know we musn't push Ranko-chan into
this. You and I may think we understand what she is going through, what
she needs, but we can't be sure, and she has to make her own decisions."

Akane sniffled a bit, and wiped her face. "I know, Oneechan. I... I
figured this out this morning, when she told me how she felt about being
a boy, and about being a girl. She kept saying she 'had to be a man',
not that she wanted to be one. I didn't think there could possibly be
any girl left in her after twelve years, but... but I realized then that
there is, and knowing that she had spent that whole time that way was
just so awful..."

Akane paused for a moment. "I knew I couldn't tell her any of that; it
would just frighten her even more. I... I think she knows what she wants
to do, but she won't let herself, because it's too scary. It's like
those animals who have been caged so long, when the door is unlocked and
left open, they cower inside. They're too afraid to come out." She
sighed. "I... I hope she figures out how she feels about this soon.
She's starting to get really anxious and depressed, and she's having
trouble coping. It's like the Ranma we knew is crumbling away, and...
and there isn't a new Ranma yet who is ready to stand on her own two
feet. I'm sure people are going to notice how different Ranma is when
she's... he's at school tomorrow."

Nabiki returned from her bath; it must have been short indeed. She
quickly turned the corner and climbed the stairs, quietly calling out
"O-yasumi." A chorus of "O-yasumi" followed her up.

Kasumi said, "We'll just have to deal with that as it comes. You'll be
there with her, thank goodness for that." She stood up, and took Akane's
hand. "Come on, dear. This has been a rough day for both of you. You
need to rest."

Akane nodded, "I want to wait up until Ranma comes back. I want to make
sure she's feeling OK."

Kasumi smiled, "I'll wait with you, but why don't you go take your
bath?" She tugged on Akane's hand, and Akane nodded and headed for the
bath.

*****

Twenty minutes later, Akane was sitting in the living room in her
pajamas, her hair damp, reading a magazine and waiting for Ranma to come
home. Kasumi was doing needlepoint, and noticed that she didn't have one
of the colors of thread she needed. She sighed, put down her work, and
headed up the stairs to her room to fetch it.

As she passed Nabiki's room, she stopped short. There were soft crying
sounds coming from inside. Kasumi stood there for a few moments, then
knocked on the door. "Nabiki? It's me, Kasumi." The crying stopped, but
there was no other sign from inside.

After a minute, Nabiki opened the door. Her usual composure was in
tatters: her eyes were red, her chin was quivering, and misery was
written on her face. Kasumi's jaw dropped, but she quickly regained her
senses. Taking Nabiki firmly by the hand, she pulled her into the room,
closing the door behind them.

She and Nabiki sat down on the bed. "Nabiki, dear, what's wrong? Why are
you crying? You seemed so calm earlier!"

Nabiki looked grim. "Horror movies always did make me cry. That's why I
stopped going to see them."

Kasumi was confused. "Horror movies? Did you see a horror movie that
frightened you recently?"

Nabiki seemed angry. "I saw a horror movie tonight! You know, one of
those horrible, unsettling ones where someone morphs into something
else, becomes some other thing. Tonight, I saw an obnoxious boy I knew,
who I loved to tease and take advantage of, slowly change into a
terrified, hurting, lonely girl, while I watched." She gulped. "A
girl... a girl I once knew but don't remember, who... who was like a
little sister to me." She looked at Kasumi for a moment. "And... and it
was all in my head. Ranma didn't really change, but how she looked to me
did. And that wasn't the end of the horror movie in my head. I also saw
that girl being tortured for over a decade by a sadistic bastard who was
supposed to be her father." Kasumi was speechless.

Nabiki drew a shaky breath, and laughed. "I know everyone thinks I'm
'the Ice Queen'. I didn't ask for it, but the reputation helps my
business, so it's OK with me. But... but every once in a while,
something comes along... like... like Mom dying," she swallowed,
"something that overwhelms me, and... and I guess I get a chance to
remind myself that I'm still a human being." She shuddered. "I... I
didn't think one human being could do to another what Ranko's father did
to her. It even horrified cynical li'l old me." She managed a shaky
smile. "Don't worry about me, I'll be back to business as usual by
tomorrow."

Kasumi moved wordlessly to enfold Nabiki in a hug, and, with a
shuddering gasp, Nabiki accepted it and started sobbing again. Kasumi
held her for a few minutes, then from downstairs came the sound of the
front door and a cry of "Tadaima!", followed by Akane's "O-kaeri!"

Nabiki broke her embrace with Kasumi. "Don't you dare let them see me
like this! Tell them I'm asleep already. Go on, I'm all right now."

Kasumi nodded, and quickly left the room. She walked back downstairs,
finding Ranma talking quietly with Akane. She took a closer look. Ranma
didn't seem much better after her walk; she still had the haunted look
about her eyes.

Kasumi spoke. "You both have school tomorrow. Considering how hard today
was, I think you should get to sleep. Nabiki is asleep already." Ranma
and Akane nodded quietly, and Akane headed for her room, exchanging her
good-nights with the others. Ranma walked down the hall to the bath.

After dropping her clothes in the laundry and proceeding inside, Ranma
was about to start washing when she happened to glance in the mirror,
and froze. A red-haired girl was looking back at her. She had seen that
girl hundreds of times, but now she saw something different. That girl
had always been a fraud, a mask that cloaked her true, male self. She
wasn't a real girl, just an illusion.

Now, with what she had learned about herself in the past few days, Ranma
couldn't say that any more. She looked at the redhead, and knew that
this person, this *girl*, was the person she would have been had her
father not done what he did. What would she have been like, she
wondered. Would she have had girlfriends, including Akane? Would she
love to wear dresses and makeup? Would she have a boyfriend? Would she
never have learned martial arts? Would she have learned other things
instead? What would have happened?

And could it all still happen?

She walked slowly up to the mirror, never taking her eyes from the girl
looking back at her. She had abused this girl almost as much as her
father had; now, she had to face her as a real person, someone who had
had her life taken away from her. "I'm sorry..." she said to her
reflection. "I'm so sorry..."

As she approached the mirror, she lifted her arm and reached out her
hand towards the reflection. The girl in the mirror did likewise, and
their fingertips met at the glass.

"Who are you?" whispered Ranma.

*****

End Chapter 2