Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Grand Theft Auto: Nerima ❯ A Little Less Conversation ( Chapter 18 )

A Little Less Conversation

 

 

“The first rule of crime is that money is everything and this should never be forgotten. Who ever has the most money leads all the peons, why? Because they can pay high and expect great return. The second rule is that you have to be able to hold your own, because your friends are not going to bail you out if you fall behind. The second you start dragging your ass is the same second when you find yourself with nothing. The third rule of crime is that the police must be avoided at all costs, and if you've got the balls to shoot one be prepared to become a most wanted. Now we remember the first rule because it defines all the other ones. With money you can buy power as well as people. Police fall into the category of people; therefore they can be bought thus turning them into allies. Now for rule number four. It's a risky business so you have to know when to take chances. It's a lot like the casino we're about to take over. If your wager is small then expect chump change. If you bet everything you got then you better be cheating and you better have a damn good plan to get out before they know what you did or how you did it. If you're going to break bank then stop, because you can only go downhill from there. You value your life? Then learn when to swallow your pride and fold your cards before you lose something you don't want to. Rule five. Cut deals before you cut heads. As usual money talks, but money is something you want to keep so talk sense into them. You got a guy with an attitude? Cut his finger off before you give him a chance to speak. Why cut his finger off? Because then he'll know that you mean to talk business. It's kind of like a handshake, but a lot more violent.”

 

Hikori paused for a moment and looked at every one in the room. He first looked at Jerry and Bugsy standing there with Kuno and then looked at the Amazons, and then at the Tendo's, and then at the Soatome's and then at detective Willis. “Rule six is as important as the rest of them so pays attention. If you ever give an inch then they'll take a mile. Don't let any one close a deal, don't ever accept a starting offer, and for fuck sakes don't get muscled into anything you don't want to be in. You have to be in charge and if you aren't then you're going to get walked on by everybody. We're taking over the Jade garden in two days. Everything goes as the plan states, everyone sticks to the plan, and if for any reason things start to fuck up, then we all abort the plan. Just stand up, walk away, don't look suspicious and just go home.”

 

Hikori brought Soun and Genma forward and said. “These two are our starting distraction. They'll be the ones to start everything off and get the train moving, so to speak. Once they start the distraction, our good friend Mr. Kuno over here will come in as our high roller. We've borrowed two million from Bugsy and he's going to play a single round of Blackjack with Akane.” He pointed at Akane to make sure she was paying attention. “We've got a uniform ready for you, and we know which dealer we're replacing, so all you have to do is use the fixed cards, give him twenty and lose with an intense nine card draw. Have you been working on it?”

 

Akane nodded quickly and Hikori looked back at Kuno. “After you win become the life of the party, get every ones attention, buy drinks, I don't care what you do, you'll have four million by then so, you should be able to think of something. Once that happens it'll be time for signal number three. When Kuno takes the party across the Casino I want Kasumi to come in.” Hikori gave another look at Kasumi. “You know what to do?”

 

“Oh, yes, but I-”

 

Hikori cut her off right there. “Don't worry, you'll do fine kid. No one will know it was you, besides you'll have Dr. Tofu with ya. You'll take care of her right?”

 

Tofu nodded with a smile. “Defiantly.”

 

“Good. Once you give the signal it'll be the two midgets turn.” Both Cologne and Happosia didn't like the short joke but it slid. “Old guy has heart attack and screaming wife, pretty simple. The entire time this is going on, Ranma, Zero, and I will sneak through the security door behind the slot machines and once we're in we'll get the two dirty cops Detective Willis pointed out to us, on their way over. After that it's all about speed.” He pointed at Mousse and Shampoo. “We'll get your equipment that night so just play the roll and look professional.”

 

Hikori paused one more time and looked around the room. “Remember. Stick to the plan. Follow the plan. If it does not work out, get away. The last signal will be a bunch of cops coming in and clearing out the Casino, and that'll be every one's cue to join the crowd and get out. Any questions?” Ranma raised her hand. “Yes, you. The transvestite in the back.” Jerry thought he was talking to her for a second, but saw Ranma and knew.

 

Ranma was in fact a girl at the moment so the low blow struck her deep with a slight plan developing in the back of her mind. “Do we have anything for Ukyo yet? She says she wanted a part in this.”

 

“Can she walk yet?”

 

“Sort of.”

 

“Then no.”

 

“Dick.”

 

“Wait I've got something.”

 

“Really?”

 

“No.” Ranma looked a little injured after that and then Hikori said. “All right. I want everyone back here at four PM Friday. Get to it people.”

 

Every one started walking out and that's when Ranma made her move. “Hey Hikori, guess what?”

 

“What?”

 

She grabbed his arm and aimed his finger. “Electric pencil sharpener!”

 

A quick buzzing sound and Hikori let out a yell. “ARGH! YOU BITCH!” Hikori tackled her to the ground where they started punching each other. “Ha! You're not strong any more! I can take ya!”

 

“Ow! Ow! Guys? Ow! A little help here! Guys?” A few people stepped over them and Ranma tried a new strategy. “Rape! Rape!” Everyone left leaving Nabiki in the back and closing the door behind her. “You guys are assholes! Ow!”

 

“I was in the army for 10 years kid! You ain't got shit on me any more!”

 

 

Ranma walked out with Hikori behind her, both looking a bit more bruised then they did when they entered. “So have you gotten a hold of Zero yet?”

 

Hikori was in the middle of lighting a smoke and once the fire was lit he said. “Yeah, I talked to him yesterday. He said he was game for the heist. You know what to do right?”

 

“Yeah, yeah I know what to do, just make sure no ones following me.”

 

“That's what I'm here for. Now go get your ass to the gym. That Tofu guy said it was a priority.”

 

Ranma rolled her head around sarcastically. “But I'm liking my leisurely life style…”

 

“It's about to get a lot more hectic, so get in shape and do it fast.”

 

Ranma's expression dropped and she looked a little wary. “I have been and you make it sound like it happens over night…”

 

 

Both Ranma and Ukyo went to a private gym just up the road from the Kitten Club and there in their hands were papers with an exercise program. Ukyo started her lightweights and rhythmic exercises, but Ranma took his own approach. He threw the papers away and started training for power. Heavy sets and then the punching bag seemed to be his favorite. It was to Ranma's displeasure that his father came in to check on things. Ranma had the bench press going with a hundred and fifty pounds being heaved up and down and that's when Genma came into view. He stood over his son and Ranma tried hard to ignore him.

 

He had gotten close to his tenth lift, but he couldn't make it. The heavy bar fell slowly to his chest and it couldn't be helped, he had to ask for help. “Can ya pull this thing off me?”

 

Genma shrugged. “Well maybe if you put your purse down and used both hands you might be able to do it.”

 

Ranma started to get pissed and with a hard push he got it up himself and set it on the catch. “I don't need your damn help then…”

 

Ukyo watched in amazement as Genma kept following Ranma around and berating him the entire time, but that was the genius in it. Every time Ranma got mad, he'd push himself harder and who else could push him harder then the old guy that made his life hell. “So how long have you been such a wuss? I've never been one myself so I'm curious as to how it is.”

 

“Fuck off!” Ranma turned up the speed of the treadmill to drown out the voice of his father.

 

It was when Ranma was on the rowing machine that Genma went to far and he lost it. “So what are you going to be rowing? A little pink raft with you Barbie collection?”

 

“That's it!” Ranma kicked the machine hard enough to make it tip and he started swinging wild punches at his old man. “Every fucking day I come here, you follow me around and don't shut up! What the hell's your problem!?”

 

Genma ducked behind random machines and eventually lead Ranma to the punching bag. “If you don't like it boy, then just hit me.”

 

Genma may have been fat fuck but he was a speedy fat fuck. “RARGH!” Every time Ranma hit with everything he had Genma pulled his face out of the way and put the bag between his face and Ranma's fist. “I'll kill ya!”

 

“Go on! Get mad at me boy!” Kicks were making there way into the mix, but Genma still couldn't be hit. These heavy hit and rage filled outbursts went on for ten long minutes until Ranma was red in the face and breathing hard. “Is that all you've got boy? It pains me as a father to know I've raised such an outstanding wimp. I guess I'll have to go tell your mother how much of a failure you are… Can't even hit his old man once in a little practice…”

 

Ranma had enough and with a strong yell he ripped the one hundred and seventy pound punching bag off the chain it was held up from and held it above his head. Genma's eyes went wide as the bag flew at him and crushed him under its weight. Ranma stomped off and grabbed Ukyo on the way out, behind him he left destroyed machines, broken weights and single man moaning in pain. Moments later a man walked in who happened to be the owner and looked at the scene with a look of shock horror on his face. “I went for lunch for like an hour! What the fuck!?”

 

Genma's head popped up and with a nervous tone he said. “This isn't my fault… I swear…”

 

“Oh? And where's you gym pass!?”

 

“Uhh…”

 

“Fucking old guys! You come in here with your gross tight ass pants, thinking you know how to use the fucking equipment and end up breaking all my shit! Who's going to pay for all this!?” The man cracked his knuckles and started walking over to an injured Genma lying on the ground. He was pinned beneath the bag and had no escape.

 

 

Ranma's face was red and his breath came heavy as he stood on the corner of the road with Ukyo waiting for Hikori to pick them up. “How am I supposed to work out if that bastard keeps coming in there to bug me? I can't take this! That's a week straight now!” Ukyo kept herself silent not knowing exactly how to answer him. She could have said that Genma was just there to help, but he wouldn't take it well and as it stood, he didn't see it that way, even with an elevated heart rate.

 

When Hikori came he wanted to hit up a drive through at the Happy Burger and get himself a smiley meal. Ranma gave Ukyo the front seat and in the back he stayed fuming his anger in silence. This had gone on for close to ten minutes now and Hikori needed something to get some sound happening in the car. When he got up to the window to place his order, he looked at the menu and then at the cashier and with an utterly straight face asked. “Hey, if a smile is on the menu and labeled as free, do I still have to pay the forty nine cents to get it super sized?”

 

Moments of silence filled the air and despite his best efforts in the back seat, Ranma had an expression on his face that both looked bitterly angry, but on the verge of laughing. Essentially he looked like he was getting ready to pass a massive stone. Before he broke out he blurted. “Get me a number fucking four! With a root beer. And no I don't want it super sized.”

 

Hikori smiled knowing he'd personally ended Ranma's bad mood and was now in the good books of the hot cashier. “I'll have a smiley meal and it better come with a toy. What do you want missy?”

 

 

The two days passed almost exactly the same as the other, but in that time Ranma and Mousse had been getting to know each other a lot better. They started working together a few days before on the task of making Jasper's return horrible. On several occasions they had taken over small crime rings and handed them over to either Jerry, or Bugsy to take care of them. Money was flowing in like the sweet honey it was and it all came at the expense of Ranma holding a man's leg while Mousse held the other and together, plunged the toilet with the guy's head. Most gave in almost immediately hoping that Timmy would come to their rescue, but others tried to hold out before they died. Mini-marts, illegal lottery booths, and bookies were all changing where their money went to and who protected them. With the money that came in they started buying cops deep down in the system and now they were getting away with all their crimes pretty easily.

 

Unlike Ryouga, Mousse enjoyed the hands on approach of dealing with people personally and he had this fantasy that he'd eventually find the guy that drugged Shampoo and killed his kid. With every place they knocked over a new name would pop up, or a new location would be known and like dogs they'd sniff out the area until they found something and took it for themselves. Any drug dealer that'd been working for Timmy or by himself was now under the control of Jerry. Any secret shipments or illegal cargo's went to Bugsy and he worked it into his human trade plans.

 

Hikori made the plan clear. They weren't there to clean up Nerima, they needed the crime to hide their own, all they needed to do was change were the money went, because who ever had the most money, had the most power. Rule one was coming back again and again and the pattern was becoming clear with each new place they took over. Being technically the only people in charge of the city, gave every one a lot of freedom in what they did. All the small time crooks looked at these new guys as unstoppable, and so dangerous that even Jasper wouldn't do anything to stop them. It wouldn't be long before who ever was left in charge of Timmy's gang, would have to call Jasper to come back and clean up their mess.

 

 

Friday night four PM came and they all sat in the back room of the kitten club again with Hikori up front. A few extra people were involved in this meeting, but some people's jobs had to stay secret so not every body became a liability. Every one knew their job and what they had to look for, and once they were done they got out and waited until someone called them. So once every thing was looked over quickly it all started to go into motion.

 

Genma and Soun walked towards the Casino wearing lots of plaid looking like eighty's pimps with bottles of booze. They staggered into the hall and started gambling away what money they were given. While they lost to a paid dealer, Kasumi slipped into the back with Tofu, both dressed like chefs and Akane behind them with a nervous look on her face. Akane had the dealers uniform on and once Tofu and Kasumi positioned themselves she branched off into an employee change room she had used before. In there was the dealer she'd replace and he looked a little nervous. “I know we have to make it look like I was jumped but… Please be gentle…”

 

Akane started throwing him around with the occasional, “I'm sorry…” said as she beat the bajezuz out of him. When his lips were swollen and eyes closed she stuffed him in a locker and straightened out her uniform in the mirror.

 

As she got ready to head out Genma and Soun had finally lost all their money and Genma had punched the dealer. A big fuss started and a few chairs were knocked over, but moments later after the two received a sound beating they were thrown into a detainment room in the back where they sat and waited. Akane caught the ruckus just as she stepped out and when a few bouncers that may have recognized her were gone she went out to her designated table.

 

Kuno pulled up into the valet parking in something small, sexy, red, topless and he was dressed to kill. A flashy tuxedo, gold cufflinks, a pair of soft leather shoes, and an odd amount of frills coming out of anything that could be seen as an opening in his suit. He got out of his little red corvette with a paid trophy wife wearing an expensive black dress with devilish pearls, a sexy sway of the hips, and a pair of stilettos that pushed up those sexy long legs. AKA Nabiki. They both walked in like they owned the place, with arms locked and they found the floor manager. The man had a smile that spoke a thousand lies and a sense of smell that could find money. Kuno pulled out a wad of bills and with a naturally charismatic smile said, “I'd like to place only one bet tonight, and regardless of whether or not I win, I'll see about investing in this place. I assume my people have spoken to you and Mr. Killwining about this?”

 

The man looked ecstatic and started asking a million questions. “Yes, yes we've received word of your arrival and as a fellow gambler, Mr. Killwining can't refuse something like this. Can I offer you or your wife anything to drink Mr. Rustford? Anything to eat before you place your bet?”

 

Kuno turned with Nabiki and the floor manager followed. “No thank you, sir. We'd like to play as soon as we can. As you can see, my lovely wife can hardly contain herself.” The statement probably would have worked better if Nabiki acted the part, but when two million is involved it's hard to read some one's expressions properly.

 

“Er… Of coarse! Please let me take you to a table we have arranged, so that-”

 

Nabiki cut the man off with a painfully forward and business like tone. “That'll be alright. I'm sure we can find our own table. We don't mean to offend Mr. Killwining or anything, but we have a slight fear of being cheated of our money. I'm sure its nothing but I think we'll pick our own dealer.” Both Nabiki and Kuno started heading for Akane's table and before the floor manager could follow a strange man wearing a lot of make-up stopped him and asked where the bathroom was.

 

Before the manager could say anything the stranger hit him in the stomach with a hidden taser and as the manager slouched over he said. “Hey, you feeling alright man? I'll get ya to the bathroom.”

 

The two walked in and the manager was on the verge of passing out. The stranger zapped him again and shoved him into a stall with his pants down. The stranger started pealing off a layer of clothes he was wearing and when he was done he wore the same clothes as the manager had including a little badge he had clipped to his belt. He went over to the mirror and he saw his make-up coming off a little showing a piece of a tattoo on his face. He covered it up with some more of the skin colored stuff and under his breath said. “Fucking Ranma… `You're part of the plan too Bucko.'” His voice sounded annoyed and sarcastic at the same time. “Fucking hate Jerry too… I better get a big cut…”

 

Jerico walked out of the men's room and made his way back to the blackjack table. “Sorry to keep you waiting Mister and Misses Rustford. How much were you planning on wagering?”

 

Kuno gave a moment's pause to build the tension around the people who were listening. “Two million on one hand.” His voice was loud enough to cause a brief silence in the crowd and soon people started crowding around. “Is it too much?”

 

Jerico shook his head with a smile. “There's no such thing as a bet too low around here.”

 

“Then if I win I'll personally buy the rest of the bar for every one here tonight.”

 

Cheering started up and Akane was ready. One card lay on its face while a ten of clubs sat facing up. On the dealers side was a two of hearts and an unknown. Kuno lifted his card and after a brief moment of anticipation he said, “hit me.” A four of diamonds came his way and with a smile he said, I'll stay. He flipped his hidden card and show a six of clubs bring him to twenty even.

 

Akane started dealing her cards out slowly showing the crowd what she had. It started with an ace of spades, then with a two of clubs, her third card was a four of hearts and she looked annoyed. Her secret card was a three of spades bringing her total to twelve. The next card drawn was a two of clubs, fourteen, then an ace of diamonds, fifteen, then an ace of hearts, sixteen, then a two of diamonds, making it eighteen. The crowd was silent knowing she was close to a win and even though Kuno was told he was going to win he couldn't help but sweat a little. The next card would tell all and Akane dragged it out. She flipped the card and threw it to the table with a slow spin and when it landed the crowed gasped. “Jack of spades,” She turned over her card and said, “Twenty eight; dealer bust. Congratulations sir, you've just won two million dollars.”

 

The crowd around Kuno and Nabiki started shouting and screaming with cheers. Kuno leaned back in his seat and with a wave of his hand shouted. “Drinks all around!” Every one made to the bar in no time flat and as most drinks were free in Vegas, this was Japan and the crowd went nuts. After that it was money all around. People started following him and Nabiki around trying to get some of that luck to rub off on them. Jerico followed close with them and took pictures as they shot craps, spun the roulette wheel, got a royal flush in poker and once the fun was done Jerico offered them a room up in suit number 982, free of charge. While this happened there was an old couple in the bingo hall stirring up a scene.

 

Happosia was up on a table screaming, “I won! I won!” He held up his bingo card high for every one to see, but not too many believed him because only two numbers had been called. As Happosia was warming up for his heart attack, through the open doors every one saw a large party of people all running for the bathroom. About a hundred and fifty people were lined up outside of the doors and yelling and screaming for every one else to hurry up.

 

In five minutes flat there was a lone bouncer on the floor asking around to see if there were any plumbers around. Ranma's eyes followed the bouncer and when he cornered a guy said. “We'll pay you as much as you want. Some one slipped about three hundred pounds of exlacts into the buffet table. Every one's working on it, but… There is shit, EVERYWHERE!”

 

Ranma smiled and thought to himself, `I've heard that line before.' When the bouncer left Ranma started making his way over to the security entrance. When Hikori saw him making his move he joined him in the walk and to anyone wishing to glance would have seen two men with thick black plastic sunglasses, blue jeans, and a couple shirts that you'd only ever expect to see Don Ho wear in one of his Hawaiian lounge jam sessions, featuring the song Tiny Bubbles. Zero was waiting with a little device that could find the key code to open the door. It was hooked up quickly and in no time they were in. The three waited in a small office as an announcement went through the P.A in the back rooms asking for medical personnel to go to the bingo hall. A few men ran down the halls and towards the door to investigate the scene, but Ranma and Hikori blocked them and beat them into unconsciousness.

 

The three made their way down the halls to a room Zero pointed out on some blue prints he had. A door was opened and there were Genma and Soun. The two stripped down and much like Jerico had a second outfit on underneath. They were dressed like the medics that were dispatched and they put their pimp clothes on the two sleeping men. Ranma tossed Genma and Soun a couple of medical bags and said, “You're up.”

 

Cologne was pounding on Happosia's chest with a little more force then she should have used, but it was pay back for making her look stupid. Genma and Soun came in with a rush and started mutilating the old man with a same kind of vengeance, while making it look like they were treating him. Soun pulled out his walkie-talkie and said, “Get an ambulance here as soon as you can.” The transmission went straight to a radio set up in an ambulance being driven by Mousse with Shampoo in the passenger seat.

 

“Remember, we have to look professional.”

 

Mousse nodded but after thinking about it for a second asked. “Wait, how do we do that?”

 

Shampoo shrugged. “I was hoping you'd tell me…” Mousse loosened his collar and started driving with a nervous expression.

 

 

The hallway the three were walking down finally came to a split and that's when Ranma went on his own. “You guys deal with keeping every one occupied, I'll strike a deal with Mr. Killwining.”

 

Hikori and smile and Zero handed Ranma a suitcase. “All you'll need is a signature.”

 

“Thanks.” Ranma found some stairs leading up, while Hikori and Zero took care of the surveillance room.

 

Hikori busted in with a couple of handguns out and asked in a business like tone, “Now who did I pay off and who's willing to accept money so I don't kill ya?” Every one raised their hands and Hikori started tossing wads of money around the room from a bag he was carrying. “That's what I like to see. By the end of tonight, you'll all still have jobs and the management is going to be changing. Don't be alarmed because nothing will change except that you'll all start getting dental and life insurance.” Every one was quiet until a lone man started clapping his hands slowly, which started every one else. Hikori stood there with his arms out and said, “See? I thought we'd see eye to eye, now lets start deleting a few things from the video surveillance. Oh and before I forget we're having Hawaiian Fridays from now on so just go to the hemp shop, say you're working for Jade Garden and start stocking up on sweet shirts. You'll only get eighty bucks off every month, so anything more will come from your own wallet.”

 

Another cheer came up and the videos started being tampered with while Zero looked at a small device he had in his hand. “The car's on route, you should call soon…”

 

Hikori dialed a private number on a cell phone he had. “Hello neighborhood watch? Yes, I'd like the closest patrol car you have to come by the Jade Garden Casino for a brief check. There seems to be a crack dealer standing outside the building, dealing crack to crack head kids.”

 

 

Up in room 982 Jerico had his boot ready and kicked in the door. Both he and Kuno ran in as Nabiki waited outside. A man's voice was heard inside yelling something about cops, and he started running for the door. A man with a serving cart was passing by and Nabiki picked up a nice solid looking platter. A man with a scar on his face came shooting out the door and like a Louisville slugger she swung the platter hard and took the guy down with a nice metallic ring echoing down the hall. Jerico and Kuno looked at each other, then at Nabiki and the three of them dragged him back into the room leaving the serving man alone and very confused. Under his breath he shook his head and said. “I swear every Friday night, it's always something…”

 

 

Ranma had this nifty little tranquilizer gun that Zero rigged up for him and after nineteen uses it still delivered. Ranma walked into Mr. Killwining's office and he was a little bit surprised to see some flamboyant weirdo just walk in and sit down at his desk. “Uhhh, sorry. Am I supposed to be expecting you?”

 

Ranma shook his head. “Not really. I'm here on Mr. Rustford's behalf. He won at the blackjack table and would like to invest in your business.”

 

“Oh! I see.”

 

Ranma remembered all the lines Nabiki gave him as he pulled out his suitcase and pulled out a bunch of papers. “Yes, the usual paper work will need to be signed and he's offering up to a lump sum of ten million dollars for you to play around with on expansion.”

 

Mr. Killwining looked a little shocked. “Will the ten million be all? Wait, what's your name?”

 

“Deez Hanginnuts, sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier and no the ten million is just for this month. After he sees how you've dealt with various expansion he may offer more.” Ranma leaned in close and used a secretive voice. “Don't mark my words exactly, but I overheard him speak of dollars reaching as high as fifty million if future returns seem promising.”

 

Mr. Killwining went very silent for a few moments and the money was getting to his head. “I-I see… This… This could be a very promising relationship.”

 

Ranma held out a few papers and a pen. “Mister and Misses Rustford are looking into partial ownership, but no more then ten percent. You will still control ninety percent of the company and as I said, this is a long-term relationship. If you sign these papers then he promises more business along with higher revenues. I'm sure you've received the documents concerning his work in Las Vegas.”

 

Mr. Killwining had the pen in his hand and the look of greed in his eye. “Yes, I have…”

 

Ranma lowered his voice again and leaned forward. “And just between you and me, a man by the name of Jasper in Liberty City advised us to take our business out here.”

 

Killwining's eyes went wide for a brief moment and his pen was on the paper before you could say `cats ass.' Mr. Killwining signed on all the dotted lines he saw and after he was done said, “I'll… I'll just have my people go through this briefly and I think we can close this deal.”

 

Ranma snagged the papers out of his hands faster then he could react and shoved them into his case. “That won't be necessary. We've already had a good look at them ourselves.”

 

“But-”

 

Ranma shut him up with a hand and said. “We'll make sure the insurance office gets your will.”

 

Killwining stood still and said, “Pardon me?”

 

 

Jerry was standing outside with a suitcase and that big cigar between her lips. The sound of a window breaking twenty floors up was heard and just as the police pulled their car up a body hit the concrete with a splat. Two officers looked to where the body of Mr. Killwining hit the ground and then at Jerry. She stepped over the body and up to the car with a wide smile. “Nothing happened here, no one died, it was just a mild disturbance call and I've got five hundred g's that say I'm right.” She held up the suitcase to the window and pulled out Timmy's calling card. “Now fuck off.”

 

The two dirty cops took the money and saluted with a smile. “Thanks for clearing up the situation ma'am. I don't think there's a need for a report. Have a good night.”

 

As they pulled away an ambulance pulled up and coming out the doors was Happosia on a stretcher being rushed to the two open doors of the van. Once they loaded him up Happosia got up into the front while Shampoo and Mousse pulled the body of Mr. Killwining into the back and onto the stretcher. Any one watching the events had just seen a body fall from the sky, a cop car verify it, and an ambulance save two lives in one go and all in under a minute. These were clearly professionals doing a mighty fine job.

 

Ranma walked out of the office, pealing off his clothes and underneath was a cop uniform with a badge and all. He pulled out a walkie-talkie set to channel four and said, “Disturbance at Jade Garden Casino, please send back-up personnel to evacuate building.” He unrolled his sleeves and when he got back to the ground floor there was Hikori and Zero waiting for him and dressed the same. “The place is ours. Let's hit the fire alarm.”

 

Zero pulled a little red box on the wall and hit a few buttons on a laptop he had. “Hee hee hee! Look out fools for I control the elements!”

 

Hikori nudged him and said. “Just turn on the sprinklers already…”

 

A wailing fire bell went off and the three were out on the floor, evacuating people out of the building. Just outside the building were a couple of cop cars and in one a middle-aged woman looking good for her age and making her uniform look sexy. Beside her was her rookie partner, looking a bit thin and not really built for the job. In the other car was a large man with a donut and beside him was the only legitimate cop on the scene. In the backs of both cars were Bugy's men disguised the same way as the others. They all heard Ranma's call on channel four and it was Nodoka and Ukyo who stepped out first. Behind them were Bugsy and Willis with all their men. Willis nudged Bugsy and said. “Hey, you've got to turn the flashers on.”

 

“Oh, right.” The eight walked in and Bugsy had the megaphone. “Every one remain calm. As you can tell from the sprinklers there is a fire in the building. We ask that you leave in an orderly fashion.” He smiled as the large crowd swarmed the doors and tried to squeeze out. People poured out from the elevators and stairwells, but many were taking advantage of all the money lying about. It wasn't anything to worry about; anything lost would be made back in two days tops.

 

The fire department came and Ranma was out with a wet shirt giving them all something to look at. “False alarm boys, some drunk guy held a lighter up to one of the sprinklers.” A man in a suite ran down the street holding his ass and screaming, “Ohgodohgodohgod!” Ranma looked back at the fire fighters and said, “He was covering his escape in an illegal exlacts smuggling ring. No worries here gentlemen, but thanks for showing up so quick.”

 

The building was cleared in about ten minutes and once the sprinklers were turned off all the pretend cops sat at the bar with some bottles. Jerry tossed Bugsy a bottle of something hard and said, “Happy birthday Bugsy. We got ya this fine vintage and it comes with a casino.”

 

Ranma handed Bugsy a suitcase full of papers and said. “She's all yours now. Don't forget your friends.”

 

Bugsy took a hit from the bottle and lit a smoke. “Aww, you guys knew exactly what I wanted…”

 

Before the party started Jerico, Kuno, and Nabiki all walked off the elevator dragging a man with a terrible looking bump on his head. Ranma got off the counter of the bar and sounded excited. “Oh! Is that Mr. 982?”

 

Nabiki nodded with that old sly smile every one knew. “Yup. And he's got something interesting to say.”

 

 

 

(Elvis vs JXL - A Little Less Conversation)