Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Memoirs of being in the Saddle ❯ Just a hobby... ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

=-=-=-=

At first, I wondered why on earth I got the place for so cheap, then the first of many weird things happened. And then another, and another, and another...

Probably someone old died, left the place for a relative, and they couldn't stand it.

It was an acquired taste, Nerima, but I've been here for ten years now. Sometimes the weird was benign, sometimes it meant I needed to fix my walls, which were surprisingly cheap, almost suspiciously so. One time someone booted in my big doors and demanded to challenge my dojo, only to find it was my shed. He did help fix my door though, so it wasn't too bad.

In the end, I learned that weird stuff happened in Nerima and you had to be on your toes and know when to duck. I can imagine that most people here either had what it took, or took a lot of medication. Probably the former, like begets like after all.

 

What was odd though, really, really odd, was that we weren't allowed to comment about it. You see, Japan had some famous weird spots; Shinjuku, Akihabara, Ikebukuro, Juuban (Fucking Magical girls!). You look at the rest of the districts and regions and it's pretty normal. Hell, you leave just Nerima and go one over, and there was practically nothing unusual there.

 

That affected my primary job in weird ways, but that will be explained later.

 

I lived close enough to Furinkan High School to watch -from a safe distance- the mayhem and destruction and the what have you without risking my property unduly. 

 

For an example, take that Tendo girl, Akane, and the literal mobs of kids trying to beat the shit outta her. 

Why? To date her, as that's apparently how they roll in Nerima. 

I mean, sure, she's pretty enough, but not charge at her with a hockey stick trying to smash her head in pretty.

 

At first, it was martial arts battles with mobs of goons and a lone swordsman (usually made of wood). But, over time, it built up steam. 

 

And man did it build up fast when he arrived. 

I eventually would see Chinese Amazons, tornadoes, energy blasts, and so much more.

I saw a tiger in there once, how the hell it got there was anybody's guess.

 

And Ranma, who usurped the momentum and quickly became the center of it all.

 

And I, with binoculars on my roof, had a veritable front row seat.

 

=-=-=-=

 

Watching Ranma was rarely a dull moment, and it quickly became a hobby. I didn't need to be there all the time, just point a directional microphone at Furinkan High and wait for the carnage while I worked at things on the main floor. Hear or feel a boom, a scream, a bellowed "RANMA!" and I was trotting upstairs, out the window, up the ladder onto the second-floor roof, where the microphone and zoom-lens camera was waiting. 

One I quickly waterproofed and with a proper cover, of course, Japan is fairly rainy, but Nerima has the weirdest weather at times.

 

Yes indeed, Ranma became a hobby of mine. 

 

It became an obsession when the I saw the tits on that girl.

 

That's what I meant by having something in common with some of the people in Nerima.

 

What, did you think it was needing to go to Tofu's chiropractor clinic?