Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Nabikian Rhapsody ❯ Prologue

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Nabikian Rhapsody



Nabikian Rhapsody
-------
by Mike Fenton

[Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is a trademark of Viz
Communications, Inc. and was created by Rumiko Takahashi.
This story is the product of my imagination and is not
intended for commercial purposes, so please don't sue me.]



Prologue: The End

The story was over. Shampoo was happily returning to China
with Mousse, Ukyo and P-chan (that is, Ryoga) had
mysteriously fallen in love, and Ranma and Akane had nothing
to do now but arrange marriage plans... again.

Even Dr. Tofu had injured himself seriously enough to
interest Kasumi into dating him.

Now that the yelling and fighting could begin in earnest, it
was seriously time for Nabiki to get off her butt and find a
soul-mate, but-try as she might-there didn't seem to be
anyone suitable for her.

All she asked for in a mate was someone gullible enough to
believe that she was sweet, kind and innocent, yet rich
enough to cater to her every whim.

If only there were such a person...

"Damn you, Saotome," a voice drifted through the air, "I'll
have Akane and the pig-tailed goddess, yet. Ha ha ha ha
ha!"

Oh, well, Nabiki thought to herself, there just doesn't seem
to be enough men to go around. I'm just going to have to
keep looking.




Chapter 1: Okay, Not Quite Finished Just Yet

"Nihao!" Shampoo greeted them, crashing through the second-story
wall of Ranma's bedroom. Mousse followed, shortly
after, bowing to Ranma and Akane properly.

Ranma grimaced in anger, slowly recovering his composure
after being flattened again under Shampoo's front tire.
"Shampoo!"

Akane looked around, very surprised, and asked, "What are
you two doing here?"

"Shampoo and Mousse have marriage," Shampoo explained, "so
we come to Japan to have honeymoon. Is very romantic!"

Mousse hugged Shampoo and explained, happily, "We couldn't
think of a better place to celebrate our union than here."

"Wow," Ranma said, "That's really touching."

"Yeah," Akane agreed, "You two are really sweet."

Cologne mysteriously entered along with her crooked cane,
and added, "They neglected to mention that they were also
just kicked out of the tribe. Too many bills for broken
merchandise during the wedding..."

Shampoo and Mousse chuckled, somewhat sheepishly.

"Oh, yeah," Ranma said, dejectedly, "that makes a bit more
sense."

"Oh," Akane said, realizing, "so, you really need a place to
stay."

"No," Mousse immediately protested.

"Just for few days," Shampoo said.

"No way," Ranma objected. "Forget it."

"Sure," Akane said, delighted. "You can stay here in
Ranma's room. After all, we don't mind sleeping together."

Ranma looked at Akane very skeptically and said, "Say what?"

Akane frowned at Ranma and grimly added, "Ranma, you can be
polite, or just sleep on the roof for all I care."

"I don't see why I should give up my room," Ranma
complained. "After all, you're the one who's offering. Why
don't you give them your room?"

"My room? Ranma, you're crazy if you think I'm giving up my
room."

"Oh, yeah!? And why is that, huh?"

Nabiki appeared at the door, sighed, and said, "Can't you
two stop fighting for even two seconds?"

"You should talk!" Akane blurted.

"Yeah, Nabiki," Ranma added. "Easy for you to say. You
don't have to sleep with Akane."

"Now," Nabiki pondered, rubbing her chin, "why would I want
to do that?"

Akane kicked Ranma out of the room, exclaiming, "Well,
Ranma. You don't have to sleep with me, either!"

"Geez," Mousse said, scratching his head nervously, "you two
sure fight a lot."

"It's all Ranma's fault," Akane complained. "If he wasn't
such an idiot, I wouldn't have to try so hard to be nice to
everyone."

Ryoga and Ukyo mysteriously appeared at the door next to
Nabiki. "Hello, everyone," Ukyo greeted them.

"Hey," Ryoga lifted a hand in greeting.

"Ukyo," Akane said, already puzzling, "what are you doing
here?"

"Well-" Ryoga started.

"We need a place to stay," Ukyo interrupted. "It's kinda
embarrassing, but P-chan and I kinda lost the business-"

"P-chan?" Akane wondered.

"Ukyo!" Ryoga exclaimed, a little shocked.

Nabiki chuckled, as she said, "Akane still doesn't know..."

"What?" Ukyo said, looking around, defensively, "How could
she not know that Ryoga is P-chan?"

Ryoga fainted away from shock, as Nabiki laughed, and Akane
considered carefully. Shampoo and Mousse just stared in
amazement.

Shampoo commented, "That Akane is much much slow."

"Oh," Akane said, very casually, "that explains a lot."

Nabiki face-faulted with laughter, as Ukyo merely shook her
head and continued, "Anyway, I feel really awkward, but
could you let us spend the night here?"

Ranma suddenly appeared again, and said, "No! No way!
Forget it!"

"Sure," Akane said, very happily smiling as she punched
Ranma out of the room. "We'd love to, I'm sure!"

"I hate to put you through too much trouble," Ukyo said,
nervously chuckling.

"It's no trouble," Akane assured her.

"We have entire gang, now," Shampoo said, ecstatic with
happiness. "We like big happy family!"

"Fate has brought us back together," Mousse added.

Cologne smiled wryly and said, "That and our mutual
fixations."

Genma and Nodoka appeared, and Genma sighed, adding, "It's
all so romantic. I actually feel like a kid again."

Nodoka smiled and agreed, "Yes. This is very nice."

Just then, Kasumi appeared with Dr. Tofu, smiling and
holding hands. Happosai appeared and began hugging his
women's underwear. Soun appeared and leaned on the wall,
smiling, somewhat sadly adding, "Ah, my girls. If only your
mother were alive to see this day."

A moment later, Kodachi appeared and said, "Well, isn't this
a cheerful bunch."

Ranma reemerged and grimly asked, "Okay, what do you want?"

"Why Ranma, my darling," she said, "I want nothing. I was
merely passing by, and I happened to have a temporary need
of a place to stay. That's all."

The others looked at Akane-even Soun-and Akane was a
little annoyed that they were all looking at her. "Oh, all
right," she said. "Just don't drug anyone."

"Me?" Kodachi asked, feigning shock, "Oh, ha ha ha ha ha!"

"That does it," Ranma said, resolving himself. "I'm
leaving."

Genma and Soun grabbed Ranma, and held him back, "Oh, no you
don't," Genma said. "You're going to help Akane."

Ranma sighed, and rolled his eyes. "What did I ever do to
deserve this?"




Chapter 2: Marital (Martial?) Bliss

Three days later, the house was still the happy residence of
the afore-mentioned people, and-although the house was
happy-certain people were starting to show signs of strain.

Except for Nabiki, of course, who was still "looking" for
that certain someone. Nabiki was currently bathing. And
taking her sweet time about it, thank you very much.

The walls were good, but still fairly thin, so Nabiki had no
trouble overhearing Ranma saying something stupid to Akane,
and Akane delivering the ass-kicking du jour to Ranma. She
could also not help but overhear the fights of the others.
They all fought, of course. All except for Genma and
Nodoka (luckily for Genma).

They all had their own unique brand of "making up," too (all
except for Akane and Ranma). Nabiki was keeping a record of
all the times and methods for various couples and their
respective ways of making up. She kept it handy, even in
the bath. The little black book was sitting at the edge of
the tub, right this minute.

Now, for instance, Shampoo and Mousse had been fighting all
day about something trivial, and Mousse had been telling
Shampoo that she could just sleep with Ranma for all he
cared, and Shampoo was threatening to do that (much to
Akane's consternation), but now they had seemed to make up,
and were presently making out.

Nabiki could tell, because Shampoo always made strange cat
noises whenever she was making out with Mousse. Sometimes,
you could almost swear there was a cat in their room
(Ranma's room, actually). She wasn't quite brave enough to
find out for sure.

Whenever Ukyo fought with Ryoga, she would always bash him a
few times with a big spatula, and he would come right
around. Of course, sometimes Ukyo would say something rash
and Ryoga would begin pouting, so Ukyo would pull her
fragile girl routine on him-weeping and begging for
forgiveness, then leaning around and winking at Nabiki if it
actually worked.

Ryoga always denied it, but he and Ukyo were very noisy in
bed. Ukyo had a habit of calling him "God" and Ryoga would
make many dreadful prophesies, and they would both sigh
heavily minutes afterward. Even Nabiki was sometimes a
little embarrassed out of sympathy for them.

What was probably the most bizarre was whenever Kasumi and
Dr. Tofu "fought." It was always over something that was
extremely trivial, and Tofu always protested innocence while
Kasumi would feign anger for a few moments, then break down
in tears. Tofu would immediately console her, then nearly
give her a kiss on the cheek. Both of them would
immediately blush and go back to duties and resume being the
android-like creatures that they apparently were.

Nabiki had a strange urge to lock those two in a room with a
giant bed, a big TV playing hard-core porno, and all the
sake they could ever want to drink. Really. Those two were
so frustratingly nice to each other.

Of course, they could always count on Kodachi to stir up the
pot. She would come up with some bizarrely convoluted
"plan" to win Ranma away from Akane, and it inevitably made
everyone except Ranma and Akane fight.

Those two had enough on their own to fight about, and they
seemed to love fighting. The yelling and the accusing and
the comparisons and the playing of pranks... It literally
never ended with those two.

Nabiki sighed, wondering what to do about them. Not that it
was any of her business, but until Akane and Ranma were
happily married, Nabiki would always worry about the future
of the dojo. The problem was, if Akane ever decided to dump
Ranma for good, then Nabiki would more than likely be
expected to try and keep the dojo in the family "somehow"
(wink-wink, nudge-nudge).

That "somehow" meant her becoming Ranma's fiancée for real-an
event that would rate in her mind as tragic beyond words.
She wasn't really worried, but it was distracting. She
could hardly be expected to have a love-life of her own
while she worried about Ranma and Akane.

Nabiki could always bring home her own "fiancé" and thus put
the onus of dojo-succession on Akane and Ranma, but she
would likely get in even more trouble if Akane and Ranma
then decided to separate.

Nabiki had thought (naively) that, since everyone else
Ranma could possibly be interested in was married, that
Ranma and Akane would do the sensible thing-namely,
become ardent lovers and just get it over with. If
anything, however, it only seemed to put even more strain on
their relationship.

It was clear by now that Ukyo and Shampoo still had a thing
for Ranma and would never let him have a moment of peace
while they had a chance of seducing him. It was somewhat
scandalous, so Ranma naturally encouraged it-much to
Akane's frequent irritation.

Ranma didn't just encourage it, actually. He relished the
attention-wallowed in it. Nabiki had recently developed
nothing but admiration for Akane, and total disgust for
Ranma. Now, that didn't mean she didn't fantasize about
Ranma every now and then.

Sure enough, Ranma began banging on the door, demanding to
know when she would come out-thus ending a quite arousing
little playlet Nabiki had composed in her mind about a
certain elevator in town and all the wicked things she and
Ranma could possibly do while riding it.

"Yeah, yeah," Nabiki answered. "Keep your shirt on. I'm
coming out."

Nabiki hurried, lest Ranma get some funny idea, and change
to girl-type, for example, just so he could get in the bath.

Then Nabiki was struck with a sudden inspiration. Suddenly,
she realized what all the trouble really was and how to
solve all their problems. And it was so simple.




Chapter 3: Best Laid Plans

The next evening, Ranma was flanked by Akane and Nabiki-both
of whom were making Ranma very nervous-merely sitting
around the dining room table. The others were there, as
well, packed in like sardines in a can. Shampoo and Ukyo
were happily stealing Ryoga's food right off his plate-which
would earn Ranma a glare of indignation from Ryoga.
Mousse was blissfully ignoring everyone. Genma (in panda-form)
was sitting next to Nodoka, being delightfully
patronized by her. Tofu and Kasumi sat next to Soun.
Kodachi sat next to Happosai and Cologne.

They never had a lack of interesting conversation, to say
the least, but tonight was oddly quiet. The mood was tense,
and even Nabiki felt obliged to clear her throat before she
said something.

"You know, Akane," she started, looking past Ranma
innocently, "I couldn't help but notice that you've been
acting a little strange, today."

"Have I?" Akane asked, questioning silently with her eyes.

Nabiki very slightly shook her head, smiled, and continued,
"Is there something going on between you and Ranma? Huh?"

Ranma snorted, and picked up some rice, about to gulp it
down, as he said, sarcastically, "Oh, yeah. Me and Akane
have lots going on."

Akane frowned for a moment, then thinly smiled and said,
"Actually, Ranma-I've been thinking. Maybe it would be
better if you and I weren't engaged."

Nabiki nearly choked in surprise. Now, that was not part of
the plan!

"What?" Ranma asked, immediately bristling. "Don't be
stupid, Akane. You know there's no one else for me but
you."

"Really?" Akane chided, looking pointedly at Shampoo and
Ukyo. "And no one else even interests you? Even for a
little fun?"

"Akane-" Ranma started.

Soun interrupted, looking quite flustered, "Akane, please.
Give Ranma a chance. He's still young and foolish, after
all."

"No," Akane answered, "I don't think I should. I mean,
Ranma and I just weren't meant to be together. It's
obvious."

Akane very quickly winked at Nabiki, as Nabiki seemed about
to say something. Nabiki scowled, confused. What is that
girl up to? she asked herself.

"Why?" Ranma asked her. "What did I do? You can't possibly
think I was really serious about anyone else..." Ranma
glanced around at Shampoo and Ukyo, nervously, quickly
explaining, "Not that I was toying with anybody." Ranma
chuckled softly, as Shampoo and Ukyo glared daggers at
Ranma. Mousse pretended to be apathetic, as Ryoga made a
slight smirk, glancing at Akane with sincere appreciation.

"No," Akane said, casually agreeing, "I don't think you
were. You wouldn't toy with a girl's affections, would
you?"

Now, Ranma was really upset, and he stated flatly, "No, I
wouldn't! Geez, Akane! What kind of a man do you take me
for?"

Shampoo stood up, immediately angry. "That it!" she said,
gesturing at Mousse. "We leaving now! I never want see you
ever again, Ranma!"

Nabiki finally spoke up, "Are you sure, Shampoo?"

"Shampoo is sure!" Shampoo replied, grabbing Mousse by the
arm and dragging him up from the table, and stiffly walking
out.

Cologne suddenly appeared next to Nabiki, and told her, "I
wish you the best of luck, but don't think I'll soon forget
this."

With an instant chill running down her spine, Nabiki turned,
but found that Cologne had vanished.

"Ah, let her go," Ukyo said, picking up some food for
herself from Shampoo's plate. "I think it's about time you
came to your senses, Akane."

"How's that?" Ranma asked her.

"It's obvious," Ukyo explained, "that you two just don't get
along. Now, me-for example... I can get along with just
about anyone."

Ryoga seemed a little wide-eyed and in shock, but he simply
looked down, trying to keep from looking anyone in the eyes.

"I think it's stupid," Ranma said, looking back at Akane.
"You know, Akane. Sometimes, you can be so uncute."

"Do you listen to yourself, Ranma?" Akane asked him. "How
do you expect me to get along with you when you're always
saying things like that to me?"

"I'm not the one who started this!" he protested. "Look,
just settle down, and let's just pretend you didn't say
anything. Okay?"

Akane glanced at Ukyo, and Ukyo grimly smiled-apparently
sympathetic. Akane sighed and looked at Nabiki again with
the same look of questioning as before.

This time, Nabiki very carefully nodded-not even trying to
hide it.

"Well..." Akane said, very reluctant, "I guess you're right,
Ranma. I can't really break off the engagement, anyway.
Not now."

"Excuse me?" Ranma and Ukyo both said in unison.

Ryoga added, "You can't? But I thought you just said-"

"The thing is..." Akane said, smiling warmly at Ranma,
"Ranma is going to be a father. We're expecting."




Chapter 4: Fallout Shelter

Three days later, they were still repairing the house from
all the damage inflicted in the most violent argument yet.

Ukyo had been heartbroken, of course, and Ryoga-unable to
contemplate living in the same universe as Ranma anymore-proceeded
to do anything and everything in his power to
destroy Ranma, once and for all.

Kodachi and Happosai had joined the fight, but Ranma had
easily handled them. Ryoga was not so easily dealt with.
In fact, the only thing that saved Ranma from being
pulverized was the fact that Ukyo had splashed him at the
last moment, and then casually walked away with her P-chan.

Nabiki hadn't anticipated the cost of such a violent event,
but she had to admit that Akane had done everything she
could to avoid the inevitable confrontation-even at the
risk of losing the dojo forever. The whole thing really had
been Ranma's fault.

So, it was no surprise to Nabiki that-as she glanced up
from her lawn chair and glass of tea-she saw Ranma still up
on the roof, fixing this and that, then adding shingles,
etc. Everyone else seemed to agree that it had all been
Ranma's fault. Even Nodoka seemed to look at Ranma with
disapproval-even after they had learned that it was just a
silly "prank" that Nabiki had thought up.

In fact, she was still mildly amused by the reactions she
had received to her confession.

"Next time, Nabiki," Soun had told her, "just plunge a knife
into my chest. It would be quicker."

"Poor Daddy," she said, looking on him pitifully, "I had no
idea."

Genma had simply smiled, very sympathetically. Nodoka had
prodded him slightly-expressing some mild disappointment,
but nothing more (at least, that Nabiki knew about).

Ranma still looked ticked-off about it, even now, as he
smashed his thumb with a hammer and glared angrily down at
Nabiki. Nabiki smiled back, and tilted her glass in salute.

What a big baby Ranma is, Nabiki thought. Still, I can't
help but feel a little jealous. Akane has Ranma at her
mercy, now. It would be nice to have a slave of my own.

Ranma did always make a wonderful slave, in Nabiki's
experience, and-aside from having to dodge the occasional
deadly weapon-there really weren't any drawbacks. Of
course, Ranma was predictably beginning to have sincere
feelings for Akane again, so it was just as well he wasn't
Nabiki's slave.

If there was one thing Nabiki could not tolerate, it was the
thought of a pathetic love-slave, hanging on her every word.
The mere thought of Ranma hovering near her to do her
bidding at a moment's notice was a sickening thing to her.
You see, the trouble with having a love-slave is that you're
expected to be just as nice-if not more so-to them, in
return.

Nabiki shuddered at the thought, just as she saw Kasumi run
by, looking every bit as calm as usual, but not hiding a
certain measure of anxiety from her face, either.

"Oh my!" she said, as she went on by.

Nabiki merely frowned in thought for a moment, shrugged, and
continued her tea.

Anyway, Ranma could never give her what she really wanted-a
marriage ceremony so big and elaborate that all the other
girls would commit seppuku out of envy for her. And
speaking of violent suicide, it looked as if Akane was also
genuinely distraught.

Akane always tried to hold it in, but you could tell from
the look on her face-pensive, distracted, a little nervous.

No, this was definitely not at all like the usual Akane.

Nabiki couldn't remember the last time Akane had looked like
that. Or could she? Nah, probably nothing. Nabiki kicked
back in her lawn chair and had a good long rest.

At least, until the rain came along, anyway.




Chapter 5: Second Thoughts

The dinner table was strangely silent, again. With Genma
sick, and Nodoka constantly at his side, there were only
Akane, Kasumi, and Soun at the table. They could hear a
loud tick-tock of a nearby clock, and virtually every creak
and groan of the floorboards upstairs.

When Nabiki entered, just about to complain about the sudden
change in the weather, she happened to notice something very
strange. She stopped and examined the situation and took a
deep swallow, seriously considering whether to skip dinner
tonight.

"Come here and eat your dinner, Nabiki," Soun preempted her
train of thought.

"Uh..." she replied, "sure." Nabiki then sat quickly next
to Akane, and began to take some food. She started to ask
something, saw the intense look on Soun's face, then decided
not to.

Nabiki had the odd impression that she was suddenly in some
strange house, because she frankly didn't recognize anyone.
Akane looked very stricken-guilt-ridden, in fact. Kasumi
looked, at once, both calm and indignant. Kasumi would turn
and glare at Akane for a moment, then her expression would
soften into something like pity or contempt-Nabiki wasn't
really sure which emotion showed better.

What was strangest was the look of warm concern mixed with
casual indifference that Soun was radiating. It gave Nabiki
a very eerie feeling.

Akane seemed about to say something, maybe plead for
forgiveness, or something, but Ranma entered at that moment-soaked,
and dripping-not caring about modesty when she
stripped her shirt off and complained, "Oh, man! It is
really pouring out there!"

Nabiki glanced at Akane-who seemed a little shocked and
disappointed, then angry. Akane looked down and swallowed
her anger, though, as Kasumi gave her that glare again.

"Um-?" Nabiki started, as the door flew open again.

"Pig-tailed girl!" Kuno yelled. "Come to me, now!"

Ranma reemerged a moment later (boy-type), still drying
himself with a towel. "Kuno," he said, "would you just beat
it, already?"

"Not until I find my pig-tailed goddess!" Kuno exclaimed.
Kuno leaped into the room and promptly tripped over his own
feet, landing face-down in Nabiki's soup.

"Kuno, dear," Nabiki said, irritated, "could you be a
gentleman and at least ask if you want something to eat,
first?"

Kuno looked up, searching for something, then suddenly
noticed, "Akane, my love!"

Akane grimaced in disgust, as if stepping in a grave and a
sewer simultaneously.

Ranma smiled, grimly amused, and sat down at the table next
to Kasumi.

"I'm not in the mood for this," Akane commented to the air.

"But, Akane, my love," Kuno replied, "How beautiful you
look!" He gestured as he extolled her, "Your hair has
regained its shape and form, and your face is more dazzling
than I have ever seen before!"

Nabiki frowned, puzzled, then took a moment to study Akane's
face. Damned, if Kuno wasn't right. Akane's face was
nicely made-up, and she actually had some of her hair back.

"Well, I'll be-" Ranma marvelled, picking up a bowl and
some chopsticks.

"How truly radiant you are, my love!" Kuno continued. "If
only I could properly find words to express my-"

"I think Kuno is right," Ranma added. "Damn. I never even
noticed."

"Oh," Kuno suddenly lamented, "but how can this be?! I
cannot truly love two women at one time! How shall my soul
ever find peace?!"

"Good question," Kasumi said, earning her some stunned
looks from Ranma and Nabiki.

"What do you mean, Kasumi?" Nabiki asked.

Soun instantly looked as if he'd been punched in the gut,
and he almost managed to interrupt, before Kasumi said, "Why
don't you ask Akane?"

"But, I-" Akane answered.

"Akane!" Kuno exclaimed, "Tell me! Is there some scoundrel
in your way? Someone who brings you unhappiness? I must
know! Who is it, Akane? Who?"

Akane clenched her fists in frustration, about to boil over.

"Is it Ranma?" Kuno asked, glancing viciously at Ranma for a
moment. "If so, then I promise you, Akane, that he shall
pay dearly. Just tell me who!"

"You really want to know?" Akane calmly asked.

"Yes," Kuno said, enthusiastically, "Yes! I must know his
name! Let me have it!"

And so, she did.

With Kuno out of the way, Soun began to sneak away, but was
alarmed when Kasumi slammed her fist down on the table and
declared, "Akane, I hate you!"

Kasumi then covered her mouth, reflexively shocked at her
own words, began weeping, and ran from the room-leaving
Nabiki and Ranma very curious. Soun shook himself out of
his shock and ran after her.

"I have got to know what this is about," Ranma said.

"For once," Nabiki added, "I agree."

Akane folded her arms, reluctant, "I don't think so."

"Come on," Nabiki said, "Akane. Out with it. Why is Kasumi
so angry with you?"

Ranma gasped, then gestured to Nabiki, conspiratorially.
"Wait a minute. I know what's going on. It's so obvious."
Ranma began laughing, the kind of laughter that Akane
equated with fingernails on a chalkboard.

"What?" Nabiki asked, genuinely puzzled. "This had better
be good."

"Oh, it is," Ranma said, slowing down to a chuckle. "This
is way better than good. This is totally awesome. I can't
believe it."

"Oh, just say it, already!" Akane demanded.

"What?" Nabiki asked again.

"Don't you remember," Ranma asked Nabiki, "how Akane was
with Dr. Tofu, before I came along?"

"What?" Nabiki repeated, annoyed. "Not that silly crush
again?"

"It wasn't a crush," Akane told Ranma, narrowing her eyes at
him. "I was really hurt that he never seemed to notice me."

"Hey," Ranma said, defensively, "I'm not the one who called
it a crush. I think it's kinda cute, actually. I'll be
damned." Ranma considered for a moment, then began laughing
hysterically again.

"So," Nabiki said to Akane, patting her on the shoulder
gently, and putting on her best sympathy face, "tell me what
happened. Why is Kasumi so mad at you?"

"Well," Akane started, glancing up at Ranma-not entirely
sure she wanted to share with Ranma, apparently, "I was just
going to help out at the office for Mr. Saotome. When he
became ill, I thought Kasumi was going to take over for him,
but Kasumi had some things to do."

"Okay," Nabiki said, listening intently, as Ranma started to
calm down again.

"And..." Akane hesitated for a moment, unsure how to say it,
then said, "I just wanted to look nice for him, okay.
That's all. Don't make a big production out of it, Ranma."

Ranma just leveled his amused stare, and Akane continued,
grudgingly.

"Anyway," she said, "one thing led to another, and he
just... Sort of, kissed me."

"He what?" Nabiki asked.

"Well, he... kissed me," Akane repeated.

"Dr. Tofu-?" Ranma wondered, abruptly skeptical.

"Kissed me-" Akane repeated.

"Our good doctor-?" Nabiki added.

"Yes," Akane sighed and answered, "Kissed me. That's all."

"Right out of the blue?" Ranma wondered.

"With no prompting at all?" Nabiki puzzled.

"Well," Akane sighed again and continued, "I might've
mentioned that I did have a little thing for him."

"Whoa!" Ranma exclaimed.

Nabiki flinched, immediately picturing it in her mind.
Sweet, lovable Akane, all dressed up and looking nicer than
ever says:

"Uh... You know, Doctor. Tee-hee," she says, "but I uh...
Had a little thing for you a couple years ago. Oh, I'm so
embarrassed!"

Akane frowned and exclaimed, "No! It wasn't like that at
all! It was completely innocent." She fretted, then
admitted, "I'm just afraid that he got the wrong idea."

"What?" Ranma blurted, "That you're in love with him? How
could he get the wrong idea?"

"Shut up, Ranma!" Akane and Nabiki said in unison.

"What?" Ranma said, backing off.

"Thank you," Akane told Nabiki.

"Any time," Nabiki replied.

"Anyway, Kasumi happened to see us-" Akane added.

"Ouch-" Ranma supplied.

"-and," Akane continued, "I think she really got the wrong
idea. Oh, I'm so mortified."

Ranma began laughing again, and said, "Wow. This is a
switch. For once, I'm not the one having to defend myself
and getting beaten up for it, anyway."

"Oh, yeah?" Akane said, calmly confronting Ranma. She
considered him for a moment, then launched him with one of
her patented uppercuts, and said, "Think again, Ranma!"




Chapter 6: Living In the Pits

Three days later, Nabiki was still amazed that Ranma and
Akane had seriously broken up. With Kasumi still mad at
Tofu, though, it seemed that the Tendo-Saotome arrangement
was still safe-even without Nabiki's help.

Kasumi had suddenly decided that Ranma was "far more man
than that Tofu-guy ever will be." Kasumi threw herself at
Ranma (as much as she could with Soun hanging around,
anyway), and Ranma didn't seem to care whether Akane
approved or not (and she never said one way or the other).

Genma, humanist-extraordinare, commented that Ranma had made
an "excellent decision" (which was not entirely true), and
that "uxorious tradition" demanded that Ranma marry the
eldest sister, anyway (which Nabiki had tried to find in a
dictionary, and failed).

The weather had been dreary, so Nabiki spent most of her
time in bed, reading. There was really nothing else for her
to do.

Nabiki loved serial romances. At heart, she was really a
romantic-even if it did take some time for her to show it.
Hey, give a girl a break, huh? She looked at her
collections the same way other girls might look at a current
boyfriend-reluctant, at first, then intrigued, and then
plunging headlong into it, hanging on each and every word,
finally achieving that ultimate let-down at the very end-heartbroken,
but stronger for it.

She would sigh, put away the last book, and immediately pick
up the first book in her next collection. Then she would
blankly stare at the page for a couple of hours before
deciding to just lay around, staring blankly at the ceiling
for an hour or two.

Having completed her hard day's work, she would descend to
the kitchen and find Akane making supper. Akane? Making
supper? And doing it quite well, too, strangely enough.

Over the past few days, Akane had turned out to be an
excellent cook-in spite of everyone else's skepticism. In
fact, her cooking was much better than Kasumi's had ever
been. Nabiki had been very perplexed, at first, but then
discovered something quite by accident.

You see, Ranma's entire psyche revolved around having a
nice, well-cooked meal at some time (preferably in the
evening). Ranma's only delight-other than winning some
stupid "martial arts" contest-was in enjoying well-made
food, and being able to show appreciation to the one who
cooked it. The food was first, the cook and the
appreciation second, but Ranma never failed to show his
appreciation.

And thus, whenever Ranma finished eating, he would look
doubtfully at Akane and say something like, "Geez, Akane.
Who'd have thought you'd be such a great cook? No, I'm
serious. That was really good. I love it!"

Kasumi would pout, just a little, but then turn to Ranma
and say something like, "You like my cooking, too, don't
you, Ranma?"

Ranma would chuckle nervously, and (after a glance at Soun-who
would be glaring at him venomously) would reply, "Of
course, Kasumi. I love your cooking, too."

It was at one such moment, that Nabiki happened to notice a
wordless exchange between Akane and Kasumi-a look of smug
self-satisfaction from Akane, and a look of bitter
resentment from Kasumi. It was then that Nabiki knew
exactly what spurred Akane's sudden talent for cooking.

That, and the fact that Kasumi suddenly refused to make any
food for some strange reason.

Nodoka had been very nice about making food, at first, but
then Akane had insisted on helping out, and then on doing
everything herself. Nodoka was surprised to see her skills
advance so quickly, but then realized that "her love had
been inside of her, all along." Nabiki was more inclined to
think of it as hate.

Whether it was really love or hate, Kasumi was obviously
motivated by jealousy-a fact that did not escape Ranma,
much to Soun's relief. Soun would have made Ranma wear a
hidden microphone at all times, had he been able to persuade
him to do so. In lieu of a microphone, Soun spied on Ranma
and Kasumi every time they were together-and did very
little to disguise his paranoia.

Kasumi, no slouch herself in the IQ department, did very
well at evading Soun's prying eyes and frequently had Ranma
all to herself without anyone being the wiser.

What they did at these moments was anyone's guess, but
Nabiki believed that they used them merely to hide from
Soun, and to talk about things that they shared an interest
in.

And it turned out that they shared a great deal. Ranma
discovered, for example, that Kasumi had a great deal of
knowledge about martial arts-she even taught Ranma a few
things: subtleties in the arts of osaekomi and toketa, the
proper technique in tameshiware and kumikata, the basics of
proper mokuso. Ranma realized quickly that he'd had much to
learn. (And he was also very grateful that he'd never had
to fight Kasumi, before.)

Kasumi also discovered that Ranma enjoyed simple things:
sitting and drinking tea, sharing rumors and current events,
speculating on who was currently dating who. Ranma was a
pretty good cook, himself.

If she hadn't had such dubious motives in pursuing him,
Kasumi would have fallen in love with him-she was certain
of it. In fact, she was so certain of it, that one night,
as they were both sitting alone together on the backyard
porch, watching the sky, Kasumi leaned around and gave Ranma
a full-blown kiss.

Akane and Nabiki had just happened to be passing by and
noticed-Nabiki with wry amusement, and Akane with a dull
sense of shock.




Chapter 7: Just Another Rainy Day

The next morning, Nabiki was very bored. She'd already
spent the first hour staring at the first page of the latest
series in her collection, so she pretty much figured that
reading romance wasn't going to kill any time. She tried
chewing some bubble gum, but all the really interesting
bubbles had all been blown before-and chewing gum could
only keep you preoccupied for so long. Eventually, you just
had to admit that there was no flavor in the gum, and
nothing but a possible jaw cramp to be had if you continued
chewing.

She tried putting on several different outfits and showing
them to herself in a full-length mirror, but she didn't
really go in too much for girly stuff, so she soon bored of
that. She put on some nice jeans and a shirt and went
downstairs to try looking out the window at the rain for the
rest of the morning.

Nabiki went downstairs and looked out at the rain, but that
was just as boring downstairs as up, so she decided to try
some TV, instead. The TV turned out to be even more boring
than watching the rain, so Nabiki sighed and went out to the
back porch to try watching from outside.

Sure enough, Akane was sitting on the porch, right where
Ranma had been sitting the previous night. She was holding
onto that same blank expression she had used to express her
shock when seeing Ranma and Kasumi kissing, and she was
refusing to let it go-like someone holding onto a favorite
playtoy of a particular pet that had recently been run over
by a car.

Nabiki considered going back inside, but the possibility
that Akane could help her kill some time was too great a
temptation to overlook. So, with this lofty goal in mind,
she sat down next to Akane and put an arm on her shoulder.

"So, tell me, Akane," she said, looking out at the rain
speculatively. "How does it feel?"

"What?" Akane asked, looking around-grasping for a thought
for a moment, then lucidly adding, "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Nabiki explained, "how does it feel to see the man
you were engaged to kissing your sister? Dear, sweet,
Kasumi, of all people?"

"Oh," Akane replied. She took a long breath, held it, then
asked Nabiki, "Uh, Nabiki... Why did all this happen?"

"All what?"

"All this. The fighting. The breaking up. Kasumi and
Ranma."

"Oh, that." Nabiki frowned, then said, sagely, "It's
probably all Ranma's fault, you know."

Akane laughed for a moment, then said, "Yeah, that idiot.
It probably is."

"Ranma is telling Kasumi, 'What a great plan, Kasumi. Wow.
I never suspected it would work.'"

"More likely," Akane said, "Kasumi is saying to him, 'Sorry,
Ranma, but I thought you would turn into a prince.'"

Nabiki got a good laugh out of that, but Akane leaned down
and covered her face, shaking with sobs. "Oh god, Nabiki,"
she said, "I hate myself!"

"What?" Nabiki said, immediately confused. "Why? What did
you do?"

"Everything," Akane replied. "I'm the one who's caused all
this. I invited the others to stay, knowing they would
never leave unless I forced them. I knew it would put Ranma
in an awkward position. I knew I couldn't hide my feelings
about Tofu. I knew that Kasumi would hate me for being a
good cook."

Nabiki wasn't sure how to respond to that, so Akane just
went on.

"The worst thing is, I know how Ranma must have felt, seeing
me do all that, and not being able to stop me."

Nabiki collected herself and pondered, trying to frame a
response.

"Now," Akane continued, "I can't bring myself to tell Ranma
how I feel because I don't want to hurt Kasumi. How could I
possibly do that? But I only know how I feel because she
kissed him."

Nabiki could think of a dozen different bad jokes she could
make out of that, but nothing she could say that would
comfort Akane, so she discreetly kept quiet.

"I love him," Akane admitted. "I never really realized it,
but that's what it is. Is this what love is? Knowing what
you feel after you've already lost it? Oh my god, I'm such
an idiot!"

Nabiki scowled as Akane started weeping again. Stories like
this never happened in her romance novels, so she was at a
loss for what to do. Nabiki just knew that there was
nothing worse than watching her little sister crying her
eyes out like this. She would do anything to make Akane
cheer up. Even...

"Hey," Nabiki said, instantly standing and smiling at Akane.
"It's all right. Cheer up!"

"What?" Akane asked, looking through her hands.

"This is me, your big sister," Nabiki told her, as though
giving her startling, new information. "I tell you, you're
completely wrong about love. It's easy."

"Easy?"

"That's right," Nabiki said. "In fact, just to prove it,
I'm going to find the love of my life and he's going to
sweep me off my feet, just to show you."

Akane smiled and wiped her face, saying, "That's really
sweet of you, Nabiki, but you don't have to."

"No, no," Nabiki said. "I want to do this. I owe it to
you. After all, what's a big sister for, huh?"

Akane got up and hugged Nabiki, saying, "Thank you, Nabiki.
I knew you'd understand. But it's hopeless."

Nabiki frowned-not so used to such a display of affection-but
sighed and said, "Ridiculous. Trust me, Akane. Ranma
will come running back to you. I know."

"Really?"

"Really," Nabiki assured her. "It's fate."

Nabiki wasn't so sure, though. In her mind, she could just
see Ranma and Kasumi growing old together, leaving Akane
miserable and just as hopeless as she had predicted. Nabiki
clenched her teeth and resolved to herself to make good on
her own vow, though, and prove herself right about fate.

She then sighed deeply, and thought, Damn. The things I put
myself through, just out of a little sympathy.




Chapter 8: Looking For Love...


Three days later, Nabiki was still no closer to proving
herself right about fate, or that falling in love was any
easier than, say, hitting the bull's-eye of a dart board from
fifty feet with your eyes closed.

She did have to congratulate herself, though. She had done
literally everything she could think of, but it was just
like Akane had said-hopeless.

The first day or so, Nabiki had tried playing the "secret
admirer" game-sending out little gifts and letters to men
she thought were suitable dating material. The only problem
with doing that was that no one ever expected their "secret
admirer" to be Nabiki. (That, and the gifts and letters
were getting a little expensive, after a while.)

She tried prowling all her usual haunts-pizza places,
parks, dance clubs-but they inevitably spewed forth a
string of losers she could not bear to look at for more than
ten seconds, let alone actually date.

When she found herself inadvertently flirting with
Gosunkugi, she knew it was time for drastic action. What
she needed was a tutor, and she honestly couldn't think of
anyone better at the art of dalliance than Tatewaki Kuno,
himself.

The first thing she did, though, was make it clear to him
that she wanted to do more than just gallivant around-she
was being serious, and wanted only helpful instruction. She
had also been willing to pay, but Kuno wouldn't hear of it.

"I fully understand your predicament," he'd told her. "For,
I too, yearn only for a consummate coquette-one who will
fill my every waking moment with the bliss of having
achieved her. This is my dream..."

He'd been about to deliver a speech, so Nabiki had snuck off
to his kitchen to grab a snack.

When she returned a half hour later, he had just finished
listing the reasons that people doubt their own feelings,
and had launched into his latest plan to win Akane and/or
the pig-tailed girl. Nabiki had almost forgotten why she
had come there, sighed, and halfway listened to what the
buffoon was saying, thinking of her own plans.

After another minute or two, she realized what she really
needed was to somehow fix Akane's problem with a more direct
solution and to jettison the idea about using Kuno as a
tutor.

Nabiki had been thinking a lot about what Akane had told
her, and about Shampoo and Ukyo, and she was just about
halfway finished with her latest plan when Akane decided
that she'd had enough and came up with her own idea.

It had been on a particular night when Nabiki was up to her
usual thing-listening in on Ranma and Kasumi, since Soun
had recently lost the nerve to listen in, anymore.

Nabiki had her ear right on the door to Kasumi's room,
intently listening to their conversation.

"I know, Kasumi," he was saying, "I told her every night for
a week, but she just wouldn't do anything about it."

Kasumi sighed and said, "Listen, Ranma. Akane is just that
way. She's a stubborn, violent girl who just won't listen
to reason. You know that."

"Yeah," Ranma agreed, "I know, I just wish she would hear me
out, for a change."

"Well," Kasumi said, "it's hard, but you'll find that she
does eventually learn-the hard way."

Akane appeared at the door next to Nabiki, surprising Nabiki
for a moment, who then settled in to listen again.

"I just love how you do that," Ranma told Kasumi. "You make
it look so easy, too."

"What, this?" Kasumi asked, evidently making some
illustrative gesture.

"Yeah," Ranma replied. "That's amazing. I can never make
the ends come out even like that."

"Are they talking about me?" Akane whispered.

"What?" Nabiki whispered.

"Are they talking about me?" Akane whispered a little more
piercingly.

Nabiki paused for a moment, wondering whether Ranma and
Kasumi had overheard the whispers, then made a silencing
gesture, as Akane was about to say something again.

"Akane doesn't really care about the dojo, Ranma," Kasumi
continued. "It's not in her nature. You know that."

Akane nearly gasped, her eyes widening in shock.

Ranma sighed and agreed, "Yeah, but I didn't want to have to
fix it myself. Stupid Akane."

"Ranma," Kasumi said, becoming nearly exasperated, "just let
it go. Akane is just lazy and irresponsible. She could
never be relied on to take care of the dojo, anyway. You're
better off without her."

Nabiki couldn't help noticing when Akane overheard, that she
began shaking with anger, and a distinct reddish glow seemed
to surround her.

"Wait!" Nabiki cried, but it was too late.

Akane kicked open the door, and fumed, "Ranma! Kasumi!
I've had it!"

"Oh my," Kasumi said, holding her hand over her mouth.
Ranma was still holding a stack of sheets in his arms.
"Akane, is there something wrong?"

"Yeah, Akane," Ranma said, not unkindly, "were you just
eavesdropping, or what?"

Akane glared at Ranma for a moment, then turned her glare to
Kasumi, and pointed, exclaiming, "Kasumi! I challenge you
to a fight! Right now, in the dojo!"

"Now," Ranma intruded, "hold on a second!"

Kasumi brushed Ranma back with one arm and told him, "No,
Ranma. Stay out of this." Kasumi turned to Akane and asked
her, pleadingly, "Akane, are you sure about this?"

"Damn right, I am!" Akane blustered. "Nobody says that I
don't care about the dojo! I care about it far more than
you!"

"Sorry, Akane," Kasumi said, "but you're wrong. Now, just
calm down and accept it."

"Forget it!" Akane yelled. "Just be there, or accept that
you are a coward!"

Akane stomped away, leaving the others-especially Nabiki-very
flustered and a little dismayed.

"Oh dear," Kasumi said. "It looks like I'm going to have to
teach her a lesson, again." Kasumi began untying her apron
from her waist and started looking around her closet.

"Again?" Ranma wondered.

Nabiki searched her memory, and then realized, "Oh, yeah. I
remember. Boy, was that a butt-kicking..."




Chapter 9: The Cat Fight From Hell

Appropriately enough, the rain was pouring outside, and
lightning flashed, as Kasumi and Akane entered the dojo,
preparing to square-off on the floor.

Ranma, Nabiki and Soun entered shortly afterward. Genma
and Nodoka were just behind them.

"Girls," Soun started, "there's no reason for this. We can
be calm and civil, now, can't we?"

"Forget it, Dad," Akane said. "I'm not interested. Now
that I know exactly how everyone feels, I'm going to prove
that the only one here who truly cares about this dojo is
me!"

Soun fretted, glancing at Genma. "Saotome," he pleaded,
softly. "Can't you do something?"

Genma rolled his eyes, adjusted his glasses and walked over
to Kasumi.

"Kasumi," he said, "Don't you think this has gone far
enough? Surely, you can just humor her."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Saotome," she told him. "But this is a
matter of honor. I never lie, and I cannot allow Akane to
delude herself-about the dojo or Ranma."

"Oh, really?!" Akane said, somewhat scolding.

"Yes, really," Kasumi answered, very calmly. "Thank you,
Mr. Saotome, but I won't need any help."

"Huh?" he said, a little flustered.

"It's obvious that you fear for my safety," she explained,
"but I assure you that I can handle this."

Genma took a step back, and appraised for a moment. He then
nodded to her and went back to the group. "That's some girl
you have there, Tendo," he said. "Is she just being
overconfident, or what?"

Ranma looked a little puzzled, and he admitted, "I don't
know. But she sure knows a lot more than she lets on."

"Oh, why do they have to be fighting each other?" Soun
complained, about to burst into tears any moment.

Nabiki looked casually disinterested, but she kept her eyes
on the two, nevertheless, as they began warming up-flexing
their arms and legs.

"You want to fight, already?" Akane said, becoming
irritated.

"Any time you're ready," Kasumi told her.

"You're going down, Kasumi," Akane warned her.

"Bring it on," Kasumi calmly replied.

For several moments, they stood, just facing each other
down, like rams about to lock horns, and it seemed that you
could see wind swirling through their karate outfits-causing
the tail of Akane's head cloth to flap, and Kasumi's
ponytail to sway.

Nabiki looked around and noticed that there were several
unsightly holes in the wall of the dojo, and that there
actually was a draft blowing through. She shivered to
herself, as the others gazed on, intently.

Nodoka immediately frowned and said, "There's really no
contest. It's so obvious."

"What?" Genma asked, taking another look.

"Well," Nodoka said, "see her form and her stance?" She
gestured at Kasumi, and explained, "It's so utterly calm and
perfect. Akane looks like she's having trouble focusing."

As if in illustration, Akane bolted toward Kasumi, firing a
kick that barely registered to the human eye. With one
smooth stroke, Kasumi brought Akane's foot down, blocked
Akane's elbow, and threw Akane toward a wall. Akane tumbled
and knocked her head against the wall, dazing herself
slightly.

"Come on," Kasumi said, annoyed. "You're going to have to
do better than that."

"Wow," Nabiki said, shaking her head. "This is just like
what happened last time."

"Last time?" Ranma asked, again confused. "Okay, just what
happened last time?"

"Well," Nabiki said, taking a moment to think, "Akane got it
into her head to challenge Kasumi, and Kasumi began wiping
the floor with her. Hmm..."

Nabiki strode over to her father and asked, "Hey, Daddy.
Wasn't that about the same time that Akane started training
openly, and Kasumi apparently stopped training?"

Soun managed a thoughtful frown and said, "Oh my god,
Nabiki. I think you're right. But Kasumi didn't really
stop training..."

"She's just been keeping it to herself," Ranma realized.
"She's been studying in private."

"Just like she did with her cooking," Nabiki remarked. "I
guess it pays, sometimes, to be a loner."

Akane slowly got up and found her footing again. Not
wasting any time, she charged on Kasumi and shot a one-two
combination with her fists that looked almost like a single
punch. Kasumi, swan-like, crouched and ducked Akane's
assault, while maintaining her perfect balance. She then
brought a knee under Akane's stomach and slammed Akane down
with an elbow jab that sounded like a hammer hitting a damp
sponge.

"Ouch," Ranma commented, seeing Akane go face-down on the
floor.

"Don't enjoy this too much, Ranma," Soun warned him. "If
anyone gets hurt, I'm holding you responsible."

"Me?" Ranma protested.

Just at that moment, the door opened and Ukyo strode in,
looking about as grim and determined as ever.

"Kasumi!" she said, brandishing some razor-sharp spatulas.
"Here I come!"

Akane staggered aside, as Ukyo hurled the spatulas at
Kasumi, and ran straight for her.

Ranma frowned and said, "Okay. Just what the heck is she
doing here?"

Nabiki chuckled and said, "Oh, yeah. I might have told her
about what happened between you and Kasumi."

"Great," Ranma complained. "That's all we need."

Akane stood amongst the group and watched as Kasumi easily
handled Ukyo-matching her with a speed and precision that
was deliberately insulting.

"My god!" Akane wondered aloud. "Kasumi is actually toying
with her!"

A moment later, Kodachi and Shampoo appeared. Kodachi
laughed and brandished her razor-sharp ribbons, as Shampoo
began hurling her giant, colorful maces.

"You told them, too?" Ranma asked Nabiki.

Nabiki frowned and said, "Well, yeah. But, just Shampoo. I
don't know what Kodachi is doing here."

Kasumi, seeing her new opponents, grimly smiled and met
their challenge. Soon enough, Ukyo was unconscious, Shampoo
had been flung out into the rain (where she changed to cat-type),
and Kodachi was tied up in her own ribbons.

"Well," Kasumi said, looking back around at Akane, "now that
we've finished the warm-up, shall we fight for real, this
time?"

Ranma grabbed Akane's arm, but Akane gave him a baleful look
and pulled her arm away, determined again, "You bet! And
this time, I'm not going to hold anything back."

"Just remember what Father said, last time," Kasumi told
her.

Akane briefly thought for a moment, then smiled and said,
"Don't worry. I remember."

Nabiki frowned in thought and then asked Soun, "Say, Daddy.
What did you tell them, last time?"

Soun took a moment to think, then sighed and said, "A true
fighter always fights from the heart-never from the mind.
To be truly a master of the martial arts, you must remove
all distractions from your mind, and accept defeat as a
possible outcome in your heart." Soun held a brave pose for
a moment, then broke down in tears, saying, "Oh, why did I
have to say such a thing to my dear, sweet daughters?!"

This time, Akane was very calm, and she held her ground
perfectly. In their blows, she matched Kasumi nearly
exactly in speed and precision, and brought enormous power
to bear behind her strikes and kicks. Still, every time
Akane struck out and kicked, Kasumi had counters for every
one, and soon enough, Kasumi had made Akane worn out just
from her own attacks.

Kasumi then brought Akane down with a vicious throw-sending
her to the floor on her back with a thud that shook the
dojo. Ranma wasn't sure, but he thought he could hear a
soft snap, as she did.

Kasumi was about to deliver a kick, when Ranma yelled,
"Stop! She's been hurt!"

Kasumi looked downward, an innocent look of confusion on her
face, as she gazed at Akane, lying prone and motionless on
the floor. "Oh my!" she said, noticing that Akane wasn't
moving.

Akane groaned and tried to get up, but immediately cried out
in pain and fell back again.

Soun fretted and ran out the door of the dojo, muttering to
himself about calling a doctor. Nabiki casually watched as
the drama unfolded, then snapped her fingers and said,
"Yeah, now I remember. This is exactly what happened last
time."

Akane moaned and complained, "Ow! I can't get up!"

"Oh," Kasumi said, looking at Akane sadly and starting to
weep, "Akane. I'm so sorry! I swear, I'll never hurt you
again."

"Last time?" Ranma asked Nabiki.

"Yeah," Nabiki replied, adding, "she made that promise, too,
last time. And then-"

At that moment, Dr. Tofu entered, going over to help Akane.
"Please," Kasumi said, "help her, Doctor. I think she may
be seriously injured."

Nabiki sighed and said, "Wow. Nothing changes. It's like
déjà vu."

Soun reentered and hovered near Akane and Kasumi, as they
talked with Tofu.

Nabiki was about to leave, when Ranma looked around and
asked her, "Nabiki, why were Kasumi and Akane fighting, last
time?"

Nabiki stopped and looked seriously at Ranma for a moment,
then replied, "I remember. It was over their cooking.
Akane had this strange idea that she was a better cook. I
guess that turned out to be true, after all."




Chapter 10: Aftermath

Three days later, life had pretty much returned to normal-Akane
and Ranma were back together, and Kasumi had cleared
up some misunderstandings with the good doctor.

When Akane had told Tofu about how she had felt, she had
said, "I know this may seem silly, but I was really upset
that you chose Kasumi over me. It's kinda funny when you
think about it, but I always wondered what might have
happened if you had never met her."

Tofu explained that he had felt sorry for her, and merely
wanted to cheer her up. It hadn't been meant to be a kiss
that Kasumi was certain was an entirely passionate one, but
it did go on a little longer than he had wanted.

Kasumi had suspected it all along, anyway, and when she
heard this news, she cheerfully resumed her cooking duties
for the Tendo household, once again.

So, once again, they had Kasumi's expert dishes, and even if
they ever grew tired of her cooking (which they didn't),
they could always go to "Ucchan's" (which had just reopened)
or to the "Cat Cafe" (which had also just reopened).

It seemed Ukyo and Shampoo wouldn't let a little thing like
marriage get in the way of their quest to win Ranma's heart-his
marriage as well as their own.

As soon as Akane was better, Soun and Genma insisted that
Akane and Ranma get married-and no one was really in a
position to object, this time.

Still, Ranma did little to discourage Shampoo's clumsy
attempts to get him to kiss her, and gave Ukyo many
opportunities to remind everyone that she had been in love
with "Ran-chan" longer than anyone else had.

Ranma would still say things that were annoying to Akane and
still get beaten over the head with a table or a mallet or a
practice sword, but never again with the same genuine anger
and frustration as before. Having been forced to share each
other's feelings (by Nabiki, who'd grown fed up with both of
them for being so recalcitrant, otherwise), they held a
mutual respect for each other that would not allow them to
express such anger, ever again.

And now that Nabiki had cleared the way for herself and her
one true love, she resolved once again to find her Prince
Charming, and promptly failed again.

It seemed truly hopeless-an endeavor she would forever be
attempting to achieve. And therein lay the secret of her
success.




Epilogue: A Life of Fantasy

So, now the story was really over. Nabiki looked around at
her small audience in an elaborate room of the Kuno mansion,
and considered the many faces-many of them, young faces.
Faces much like the ones she had just been describing from
years ago.

"No way," one girl said.

"I don't believe it," said a boy. "Akane Saotome put in the
hospital by Kasumi?"

"It's true," Nabiki replied. "Of course, you have to
remember that this was back when she was young and
impetuous. She didn't exactly have my brains, going for
her."

"She used her fighting skills," the girl added, "to win over
Ranma."

"It was fate," Nabiki said. "Just like I had told her."

"So," the boy began to ask, "how did you end up married to
Kuno?"

"I was never married to that buffoon," Nabiki replied. "I
said that he offered to tutor me, and tutor me, he did."

"That's it?" the boy asked. "So, how come you live like
you're his wife?"

"That's easy, boy," Nabiki said. "Like I already said, I
use my brain. I finally just let Kuno have his way and
'tutor' me all he wanted. And he still does. He just has
to explore farther and be away longer for every lesson."

"Aren't you ever lonely?" the girl asked.

"Now, why would I be lonely?" Nabiki wondered. "When I have
such sweet, little visitors all the time, huh?"

Kodachi came by at that moment, sighed and said, "All right,
children. It's time to get back to school."

The children awwed in a mournful way, and the girl
complained, "Do we have to?"

"Yes," Kodachi replied, rolling her eyes, and said, "The
tour is quite overdue, and anyone late getting on the bus is
going to get a new haircut!" With that, she brandished an
electric clipper, and the children hurried to leave.

Kodachi disappeared after the children, then returned
briefly, saying to Nabiki, "Live it up, while you can,
Nabiki. Soon, I will win over Ranma. And when I do, the
first thing I'm going to do is kick you out! Haaah ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha!"

Nabiki merely chuckled to herself and said, "Keep dreaming,
Kodachi."




THE END