Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Once Upon a Puddle ❯ Dreams and Stupidity ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: I'm sorry, I really, really suck at dark stuff. Excuse the crappiness of the first part. I'm no Zen. Uhm… anyway, yeah. I won't take this stupid story down again. I'm sick of revising it. So there. I win. Yay. I need oreos. Bye.

 

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Once Upon a Puddle

Chapter I: Dreams and Stupidity

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It was a dark day, the skies grey and solemn. Rain was heavy in the air, like black paint spilled across an old white canvas. Ryouga trudged along somewhere on the side of the street, cold, feverish and lonely.

 

Suddenly, Akane was standing in front of him, sheltered by a pink umbrella. At first she didn't see him, but concern washed over her features when she did.

 

“P-chan! What are you doing out here?!” She scooped him up without waiting another split second.

 

Ryouga snuggled against her, beginning to nod off with the warmth as she slipped him inside of her coat and broke into a run. They arrived at the Tendou dojo within a matter of minutes, and he was just starting to doze off, when…

 

“Poor baby. Come on let's get you into a nice hot bath,” said Akane soothingly.

His insides went cold—Ryouga made a move to escape, but to his horror, they were already in the bathroom with the door shut tight, and Akane was busily undressing herself having set him gently on the tiled floor.

 

All his could to was struggle.

 

“What's wrong, P-chan? Are you afraid? Probably because of the way Ranma treated you when he bathed you,” she said, a dark look crossing her face briefly. “Don't worry; you'll like it this time.”

 

Ryouga never thought he'd say it, but he would have given anything to be in Ranma's arms instead of Akane's. He screamed silently when he hit the hot water, but the shriek soon gained volume as well as the company of Akane's.

 

She stood staring at him for a few minutes, a dangerous aura beginning to flare as she mechanically reached behind herself for a towel. Ryouga refused to look up at her, but could feel the anger from where he sat in the water.

 

“Ryouga,” she spoke, her voice so raspy and full of betrayal that the sound of his name alone was slowly chipping a deep crack into his heart. “Ryouga… I hate you.”

 

Unable to take it, he let out a howl of misery as tears began to fall, unconscious to the physical pain that struck him when Akane booted him through the roof with a loud sob. As he flew through the uncaring night sky, a pig once more, he could hear her frigid words echoed in his mind.

 

`I hate you…'

 

 

Ryouga jolted up with a start, cold sweat matting his hair. Shakily, he wiped his face off with the blanket that was covering him. That damn nightmare again…

 

He had to do something about this once and for all.

 

***

 

Ranma trudged along the fence, glad to be out of school. He'd had to stay after for cleaning duty today. Usually he managed to skip out on it, but this time, seven desks and three buckets of water to the head had stopped him from escaping—the whole thing had turned into a fiasco. Those girls were stronger than they looked…

 

“The sun is already setting,” he muttered to himself. “Now I'm going to have to face the third degree again… bet they didn't save me any dinner… or I bet they saved me some of Akane's toxic waste…”

 

Then, out of nowhere, a red umbrella came flying straight at him, nearly causing him to fall over into the water—not that it would have mattered much anyway, as he was already female.

 

“Okay, Ryouga, you have my attention,” said Ranma, regaining his equilibrium.

 

The words had only just parted from his lips when the bandana'd martial artist came bounding up from the roof of someone's house. Ranma briefly wondered whether all those homeowners ever heard the loud footsteps, saw the missing floor tiles or pondered whether the roofs of Nerima were more crowded than the streets. Then he decided the answer was not all that important and jumped off the fence into a fighting stance.

 

“What is it this time?” Ranma asked. “You disappear for a couple months and then come attacking me for no rea…. well, I guess that's normal, actually.”

 

“Shut up,” he growled. “I need you to make me a promise.”

 

Ranma raised an eyebrow. “And that would be…?”

 

“Watch Akane for me. Don't try anything funny.”

 

Ranma's eyebrows went higher. “And what is this all about?”

 

“Just promise! I don't have all day!”

 

“You're not makin' any sense.”

 

“I'm going away.”

 

“Well duh,” he snorted. “You're always going away.”

 

“No,” Ryouga glared at him. “This is the long goodbye. So promise that Akane will be okay.”

 

“The… huh? Did you hit your head or something?”

 

“Promise me! I want to be able to go in peace!” Ryouga looked very impatient.

 

“Okay, whatever, I promise. Now what—“ But before Ranma could finish his sentence, Ryouga was speeding off down the street. “Hookay… Nevermind then…”

 

Hopping back on the fence, Ranma was left slightly puzzled. That was kinda weird, even for Ryouga. What did he mean by “the long goodbye,” anyway? It almost sounded like he was planning to…

 

Ranma froze in his tracks. No way… it couldn't be that, could it? Not Ryouga… he was prone to depression and all, but he wouldn't go that far, would he? But then again…

 

`I want to be able to go in peace…'

 

Holy shit. He did mean that! Ryouga wasn't his favorite person in the world, but he couldn't let him do that! He had a whole life ahead of him! Ryouga promised he wouldn't rest in peace until he defeated him! … Well, he'd have to be immortal if he wanted to keep his word on that one… but that was beside the point! Ranma turned and sped off in the direction that Ryouga had been running.

 

“Don't do it, Ryouga!!”

 

***

 

A small, black piglet stood Abefore the entrance of the Nekohanten, contemplating whether or not to go in. This was his last chance to rethink his decision and ask for help elsewhere. But in all honesty, there was nobody else who would help him—something that was even more painful to realize than was admitting he needed help in the first place. Ryouga had learned that the hardest things in the world to say are `I love you,' `Sorry' and `I need help.'

 

He made up his mind to go in. After all, what other choices did he have? Cologne at least might be willing to hear him out—she'd taught him the Bakusai Tenketsu technique that one time, and although it wasn't what he expected, it had proved useful later on.

 

Dragging his backpack along with him, he walked through the door. Shampoo soon caught sight of him wandering around as if looking for someone, picked him up, and brought him into the kitchen.

 

“What you want, pig-man?” she asked as she poured some hot water over his head.

 

Ryouga snatched his backpack and hid behind it, searching for some clothes as he cleared his throat.

 

“I want your great-grandmother.”

 

“You… interested in older women?”

 

“NOT LIKE THAT!”

 

“What's going on in here?” Cologne hopped in atop her stick, eyes flitting from Shampoo to the naked boy on the floor.

 

“I need to talk to you,” said Ryouga.

 

“About?”

 

“He say in interested in date with Great-grandmother,” explained Shampoo.

 

“NO, I DIDN'T!”

 

“Well then, what do you want, boy? It doesn't seem like you to come to me for help.” She chuckled, and Ryouga guessed she was thinking about the Bakusai Tenketsu incident.

 

Ryouga took a breath. “Do you have anything that could keep me from turning into a pig? Even if it's temporary?”

 

Cologne regarded him strangely, and then nodded her head.

 

“You've got two choices,” she said.

 

Ryouga looked hopeful.

 

“Well… first is the Jusenkyo Mail Order Nannichuan 24-hour Pills. You swallow them, and they counterbalance the effects of the curse for one whole day. However, it has unknown side effects, so taking it might be risky.

 

“Second is the Jusenkyo Mail Order Nannichuan Chewing Gum. Guaranteed… ah, manly flavor. However… this one has known side effects. Allow me to demonstrate. Mousse, come here.”

 

Mousse did as he was told, though more out of curiosity than duty—he'd been partially eavesdropping. Cologne handed him a piece of the gum. He popped it in his mouth suspiciously. Ryouga and Shampoo watched with interest as the old woman proceeded to dump a bucket of cold water over Mousse's head, causing him to cough and sputter.

 

“What did I do to deserve…” he trailed off, looking down at himself in amazement. “Cold water… and I'm not a duck… not a duck… I'm… not a duck!! I'm CU—“

 

He stopped mid-sentence, as an outrageously bushy mustache and goatee sprung from his face and continued to grow until the thick black hair was parallel with his ankles.

 

“GAH!” Mousse clasped his face in confusion.

 

“WAK!” Ryouga facefaulted.

 

Shampoo laughed gleefully.

 

Cologne conked Mousse hard on the head, knocking him out, while Ryouga picked himself up off the floor.

 

“I'll use the first one,” he mumbled.

 

“Oh, no you won't,” replied Cologne. “Until you tell me what this is about… although I'm guessing it involves Son-in-Law?”

 

Ryouga nodded. “I wanted to get rid of… so that… you know… and then I could… so she'd… you understand, right?” He blushed.

 

“Actually, I didn't understand a word of that, but I think I have a pretty good idea nonetheless,” said Cologne. “And I give my approval.”

 

“You do?”

 

“Yes. Tempting Akane didn't go so well the first time around, but this time, you have my help,” she replied.

 

“Why?” Ryouga glared at her suspiciously.

 

“I like you.”

 

Ryouga didn't know how to reply, so instead he twiddled his fingers idly.

 

“You're planning to go to China, right?” It was more of a statement than a question.

He nodded.

 

“That works out fine, then,” she continued. “Shampoo is visiting. Be back here in a week and you may accompany her, agreed?”

 

“Great-grandmother! Lost boy will slow Shampoo down.”

 

“Just take him to Jusenkyou,” sighed Cologne. Apparently, her granddaughter wasn't as perceptive as she. “It would be foolish not to assist him in clearing obstacles of the heart. If he wins Akane's heart, Ranma is free, is he not?”

 

“Ooooh,” said Shampoo, the light of understanding coming over her. “In that case…”

 

***

 

That was one week ago today. And here he was again in front of the Nekohanten—fortunately, Ranma hadn't been that far away. It may have seemed unnecessary, but Ryouga wanted to make sure that Akane would be safe—he wasn't sure when he would return from this trip. Of course, his fears weren't totally allayed. Ryouga didn't entirely trust Ranma to keep his word, if at all.

 

But he was going to China now, and nothing could stop him. Ryouga wished he could stay in Nerima with Akane, but knew that wasn't an option. Getting rid of that stupid curse was as important as Akane herself right now.

 

Once again, he hesitated before entering the restaurant, staring pensively at the sidewalk beneath his feet.

 

Ever since he had decided to take this trip, he'd know something was amiss. At any other time, he probably would have taken off to China at any given opportunity—and opportunities rarely came. This time, he'd gone seeking the opportunity and found it all on his own… but couldn't help feel that something bad was going to happen…

 

`You're being stupid,' he told himself, trying to shake the feeling. For the most part, it worked.

 

A gentle wind rustled his bangs as he took a breath, taking one last look at the Tokyo sunset. This would be the last time he'd see it for a long while. Resolutely, he walked through the door.

 

***

 

Ranma ran down the street, trying to spot any hint of yellow. “RYOOOOUUGGAA! Where did you go?! Don't do iiiiit!”

 

A large boot, stone tanuki, flying pan, skillet, computer hard drive, can of mayonnaise and an assortment of weights rained down from the windows around Ranma, most items hitting him squarely in the face.

 

A woman in her nightdress craned out of her window, waving a golf club menacingly. “Shut up down there!”

 

Ranma rubbed the various lumps forming on his head. “Frickin' fracken…”