Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Oops! - When one trained too much. ❯ The Taro edition ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Begin: 22.02.2005
Revised: 26.02.2013 (Spelling errors courtesy of TheDevian.)


Author notes:
Again, Ar-Kaos inquired for more and here it is. An idea I came up with a talk with Lord Rance. You can thank also Daniel J. Gibson for the betterment of this fic. The disclaimer you can find on my profile-site here on ff.net with other goodies like my website. :)



Chapter 3 – 3rd try to . . . .



Taro is again back to Jusenkyo.

We hear him mumble slightly insanely "Never will I be named Pantyhose Taro . . . never ever. Hmmhahha. I will beat Ranma and get my name changed by Happosai."

Slowly he reaches the ponds of Jusenkyo. He feels the wind how it caress his skin like a mother snuggle her hand on the cheek of a baby to caress it and guard it at the same time against the harsh world. Nearer and nearer Taro comes to his destination of the pond he wants . . . . Finally, the pond that completes his cursed form to beat Ranma Saotome. From the 'drowned guinea pig of a mad scientist' to 'drowned insanely fanatic Moron-Otaku' to his wanted
drowned pond. The 'drowned panther pond'. With that he can scare the hell out of Ranma and at the same time become the hunter he is. He bows down in his cursed form to dip his fingers into the pond but stops when a little gust appears and Taro hears a woody creaking sound. He turns to it and slips on the muddy ground with his hoofs.

He only says "Mooou!" [Translation: Oops!]

The few seconds he has until he is completely under the pond-water he see that the pond-sign has through the wind turned 180° were before on the other side was written 'drowned panther pond' no there stands 'drowned crazy impotent' . . . the rest is smudged.

The last thought, before he went completely under the pond were "Suppose it went crazy because it was impotent?"

The guide came because of the commotion out of his old hut he only looked up . . . then he got a heart attack and fell dead on the ground.


A few days later in Japan, we hear in the Tendo Dojo from the radio of a monster rampage in China. The Tendos and Saotomes as well Happosai sat at breakfast.

"Wonderful meal as always Kasumi" compliments Ranma.

Then the ground quakes and gains in strength more and more. All look to the soup-pot were in-between they see one drop in it jumps up and down because of the quake. Now they see a shadow looming over the entire house.


We see two Japanese and one Gaijin with a Boom box and some CDs in his right hand. The Gaijin search his backpack for something. "Oh man, I should have bought the batteries at the petrol station. Now I only can hear one hour of good music."

The very loud thumping sound let the group of three see in the direction of it. The first Japanese point at it and says, "Looks its Gojira!"

The second Japanese says, "No it's Godzilla! But why did it paint itself pink?"

The Gaijin screams like a little girl "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO it's the feared Barney! Run for your life!!!"

Too late one big foot stomps down before them and the big head of the Pseudo-Barney comes down from high.

Suddenly the Gaijin searched quite hurriedly through his CDs until he fond the right one "Ah haaaaa." He holds then the CD in the air like Link when he found something important.

Then he hears a very loud tone "GROOOOOOOAAAAAAAAHH!!"

Quite suddenly, he is again quite the fumbler. He manages to put the CD in the Boom box choose the right track and turn the volume up to the Max . . . . Now we hear the Macarena . . . . The other two Japanese looks at him dumbly 'til they hear loud thumps and the look to the Pseudo-Barney. Their jaws drops and see in wonder how a monster that big dance the Macarena.

"I knew it, I knew it! The Macarena is its weakness" proudly exclaims the Gaijin.

The music begins to lall until it stops.

The Gaijin with a grave voice "A pity I didn't buy the batteries 5 minutes ago."

A foot comes from the now angry Pseudo-Barney and traps the tree persons between its toes. Afterwards it bit off their heads with a hearty CRUNCH.


Back in the Tendo yard, we see the Tendos, Saotomes, and Happosai with a newly acquired bag of unmentionables. That is until the bag of unmentionables became ash not to mention of the other people beside Ranma and Happosai, who were on the way to avenge the fallen/unmentionables . . . . The Pseudo-Barney opens his big muzzle and let go again another fireball.

Before that fireball fries both Ranma and Happosai quite thoroughly the only thought they can manage is "Holy shit!"

Immediately the Pseudo-Barney can only manage one clear thought "Happosai can't give me another name anymore . . . ! . . . Oops! I fried him accidentally quite good. HahahhaaahahahhHAHAHHAHAHHA!"

Now to see what happened next, imagine Filia from Slayers where she rampaged as Dragon and let loose her fireballs. Now multiply that by 20 and you can imagine quite fine what damage the Pseudo-Barney let loose on poor Tokyo . . . .


End