Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Random Chance? ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

A Random Phrase. (Working Title)

A Ranma ½ Alternate Universe.

By Lord Raa

Disclaim-me-do: Shall I baby-sit for your sister Gwen? I shall run round her house naked and try on her underwear. Oh, have I said something wrong again? Shall I baby-sit for your sister Gwen?

A soggy panda was shuffling down the rainy streets of Nerima, Tokyo. The ursine eating machine looked most upset at its travelling companion, a young man with black hair braided into a pigtail that finished mid way down his shoulder blades.

The two seemed to be heading in a specific direction, rather than wandering in a random fashion that some would expect for such dishevelled travellers.

"Pops, I sure hope that your friend will understand us barging in on them like this," the young man spoke casually to the panda.

The panda made a somewhat positive sounding grunt and gesture.

"I know that you're holding something back from me about the reason for seeing him, old man. If you've done something stupid like get me engaged, then you can expect a lot of pain."

It was a good thing that Ranma could not see the look on the panda's face.

"Well, I suppose that I should give the benefit of the doubt. It could prove to be an evening's fun."

The panda continued, ignoring the unpleasant feeling in the pit of his stomach. His son had been acting strangely ever since they visited Jusenkyo.

Though he had to admit that the boy had proven himself to be worth something after all by getting the funds to get a boat back to Japan.

`The odd thing was that he never told me how he got the money,' the panda thought.

"Well, here we are pops. It's time to see if your friend will freak out or not," said the young man as he turned to the waterlogged beast to his right.

Knocking on the door, the black haired boy cleared his throat in preparation of the introductions.

A tall brunette with long hair answered the door.

"Hello. Can I help you at all?"

"Hello, is this the Tendo residence?"

"Yes it is."

"My name is Ranma Saotome," the young man explained with a bow. "I'm sorry to bother you like this, but I was told that I was expected."

"Oh yes, our father was expecting you, please come in," the young woman gestured to the inside of the house. "Is that a panda?"

Ranma winced as before turning to his hostess. "Yes, it's a long story. I can explain with the aid of some hot water."

Later, after Ranma demonstrated his father's curse several times to a disbelieving Tendo family, the formal meeting for the arranged marriage took place.

"Here are my daughters: Kasumi, she's 19; Nabiki, she's 17 and Akane, she's 16. Pick one and she'll be your fiancée."

"I'm sorry, could you say that again?" Ranma asked Soun. "The part about me being engaged to someone. Pops, do you know anything about this?" Ranma faced his parent.

¬~#Splash#~¬

"I thought that you might do that. Mr Tendo, would be so kind as to pass me that kettle, please?"

Soun handed Ranma the kettle of boiling water.

"Thanks," Ranma bowed before pouring the scalding hot water on the beast.

"ARRGH!" Genma screamed. "It needn't be that hot, boy!"

"Says you. Now what's this about an engagement?"

"Weren't you paying attention earlier, cloth ears? This is the sacred pledge to unite the schools of Anything Goes," Genma patronised his son.

"And I told you on the way here that if you done something stupid I'd hurt you. Picking my fiancée without even telling me counts as something stupid," Ranma shouted in Genma's face.

"What, aren't we good enough for you or something?" the youngest girl demanded, her pride wounded.

"Oh, and you want to go along with this farce?"

"Well, no, but…" Akane trailed off.

"So then it's agreed, I'm not obligated to marry any of you. You can go about your lives, apologies for the intrusion. Pops, you're coming with me," Ranma dragged the balding man behind him.

"Wait, Ranma, I can explain," Genma tried to stall for time.

"Yes, Ranma, please allow your father to explain," Soun backed his old friend up.

"What's in it for me?" Ranma asked.

"You'll know the whole story behind the pledge," Soun answered

"What? That you two were absolutely hammered in a bar celebrating knocking your wives up, when you decided to get your kids hitched to run your dojo?" Ranma cynically suggested.

"Urk," Genma blanched as his son had hit the nail right on the head.

Soun was stunned into silence by Ranma's accuracy.

"I see. Well, I'm sorry for bothering you like this, but we must be going. That is unless there are some advanced combat techniques that I can learn?" Ranma asked. "That would prove that the schools are worth uniting."

`If there's something for me to learn, then I get to stay for a while. If not, then I get out of the idiots' reach,' the younger Saotome had figured out a "no lose" situation for himself.

"You make it sound like the Saotome branch has something of value to teach us," the short haired girl in the kimono spoke up, defending her family's school.

"I know a challenge when I hear one," Ranma smirked. "As the heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes, I challenge the heir to the Tendo Branch to a match. One bout, winner is decided by knock out or submission. If I win, I'm free to do as I please. If I lose, then I'll abide by the decision of the heads of the School. If anybody interferes, the match is declared null and void and I leave. Are my terms acceptable?"

"Yes," Soun jumped in.

"Alright then, I'll see your heir in the dojo in five minutes," Ranma bowed. "But first, I require the use of your facilities. Would one of you be so kind as to point me in the right direction?"

As Kasumi stood up and led Ranma to the toilet, Genma and Soun rushed to Akane's side and gave her advice on how to win the upcoming bout.

"Remember that this match is Anything Goes, so don't be afraid to kick him where it hurts," Soun pointed out.

"But don't do any lasting damage," Genma added quickly. "Nodoka will want grandchildren as soon as possible."

"Who is this Nodoka person, Pops?" Ranma asked, having finished quicker than anyone had expected. "If my wellbeing affects her grandchildren, am I correct in assuming that she's related to me in some way?"

Genma started to sweat in panic.

"Nodoka is _your_ mother, Ranma," Soun explained, not seeing what the problem was.

Ranma looked at his parent.

Genma sweated more.

Ranma smirked at the panicking man. "We have much to discuss, Old Man. I do hope that for your sake the heir to the Tendo School puts up a good fight. That way you won't get hurt so much."

Ranma turned to the girl in the gi. "I take it I'm fighting you?"

"Yes. I won't hold back, you know," Akane insisted.

Soun was nearly in tears. "That's good to hear, my dear Akane."

"Yeah, well I can get all the water works I want by going outside. I won't get my freedom by standing around here. Let's do this and get on with our lives," Ranma pretended to be bored with the situation to unbalance his opponent.

Akane growled before stalking off to the dojo. Ranma followed her with a small grin on his face, one that both Nabiki and Kasumi noticed.

Ranma made a few cursory stretches before showing off his flexibility to the witnesses with an advanced kata.

Nabiki considered the possibilities of a boyfriend with such a body. `Hmm, he already knows how to push Akane's buttons. Perhaps he isn't just a mere bag of hormones, like the rest of the boys around here.'

Kasumi noticed the way Ranma's still damp shirt clung to his body as he warmed up. `He really should get out of those wet clothes as soon as possible. It wouldn't do for him to catch a cold.'

Genma was torn. On the one hand, he had taught his son to win at all costs. But on the other, if he won here, then he'd run off and all his well laid out plans would be for nought.

That and the boy had promised him a beating when he was done.

"Right, I'm ready," Ranma announced, snapping everyone out of their trances. He took up a basic Jeet-kun-do stance to prove his point.

Akane took up her favoured kempo stance. "I'm ready."

The combatants turned to Kasumi, who was acting as judge.

"Fight!" she shouted dropping her hand.

Ranma and Akane slowly circled each other before Ranma struck.

The boy launched forward with a sweeping kick, which Akane jumped over. Ranma followed up with a connecting strike to the lower thigh with the heel of his hand.

As Akane fell backwards, Ranma jumped to his feet and backed off to give his opponent a chance to right herself.

Genma would normally have complained at this foolish behaviour, but every chance his son gave the girl meant that there was a greater chance of the schools being joined.

Akane charged in with her preferred attack, a haymaker, which Ranma promptly ducked under and counterattacked with an upward, open palmed strike to the solar plexus.

The gi clad girl was knocked back a good metre by Ranma's lightning quick strike.

Ranma returned to his ready stance, waiting for the girl to get back up.

The girl coughed before getting up, slightly winded. "I'm impressed."

"This is me going easy on you," Ranma pointed out. "It's perfectly acceptable for me to hit you when you're down."

Akane frowned that comment before Ranma closed the gap before she could blink. The pigtailed boy tossed the girl over his shoulder in a perfectly executed judo throw.

Nabiki winced at the force her sister hit the floor with. She didn't like the idea of her sister being manhandled like this, but could do nothing as per the rules of the contest. At least Ranma was allowing Akane to get up after each fall.

Ranma had backed off a bit to allow Akane a breather. "Now would be a good time to show me some advanced techniques from the Tendo School. Unless you want to continue inspecting the floor, of course," he taunted.

Akane growled as she charged in, again planning to connect with her famous haymaker.

Ranma opted to show off the aerial aspects of his School by leaping over the head of the girl and planting a foot in her back.

Akane stumbled forward, but managed to retain her balance. She was beginning to feel outclassed, but pride kept her going in this bout.

She circled the boy slowly, not sure what she should do next.

Ranma stepped closer in an attempt to force Akane into making a move. It didn't work.

Akane smirked, having seen through Ranma's ploy. Her confidence growing enough for her to make an offensive play.

She charged the boy, this time ready to strike with a flurry of jabs and other fast attacks.

Ranma's face remained neutral as he dodged or blocked the barrage of rapid strikes. He started twisting round and placed an axe kick on the girl's knee, the blow connecting with a loud crack.

Falling to the floor, Akane screamed in pain, clutching the injured leg.

Again, Ranma backed off to allow his opponent the chance to submit. "If you want to end this now, I'll understand. I know how much hits like that hurt. Especially to the knee."

Akane fumed before attempting to stand. The instant she put weight on her leg she crumpled in pain.

"I-I give up," she whimpered, tears streaking her face.

Ranma turned to the judge who nodded before rushing to her injured sister.

Soun ran up to the victorious Ranma. "Just what do you think you're doing, hurting my little girl?"

Ranma was actually shocked by this attitude. "Didn't you train her not to go into a fight unless you're willing to risk an injury?"

"That's no excuse," Soun replied, about to go into his demon head mode.

Ranma stood firm, ready for an attack. "If that's how you train your students, then I want nothing to do with your school. Pops, we are leaving," Ranma stated before walking over to where his pack was.

"Where do you think you're going, boy?" Genma demanded.

"Away from here. Besides, the sooner you tell me about the Nodoka, the sooner you'll be able to eat solid food again," Ranma replied grabbing the man by the collar of his dirty gi.

"But what about uniting the Schools?" Genma whined.

"Your friend agreed to the terms of the match," Ranma shrugged. "Here's another deal for you - you take me to see this Nodoka woman now, and I won't beat the shit out of you. How's that for fairness?" he asked, his hand now closing his father's windpipe.

"O-ok. I'll take you to your mother…" Genma gasped when the hand dropped from his throat.

"See how much easier this is when we're all behaving like reasonable people? I'm sorry for hurting your daughter, Mr. Tendo, but that's the risk she took. It's nothing personal, just my future. And I'd like to think that I get some say in that," Ranma said with a smile.

Genma whispered that he'd contact him about the boy when he had a chance to get Nodoka to sort him out.

Soun nodded before the tears started to flow.

As the Saotome travellers left the Tendo property, Ranma turned to his father.

"I gave you fair warning about what you had planned. Now where does this Nodoka woman live?"

"She's your mother, boy, show her some respect!" Genma ordered.

"Respect has to be earned. You taught me that," Ranma shot back.

"Family is different," Genma blustered.

"If you say so, Old Man," Ranma snorted. "Now which way do we head?"

"This way," Genma gestured to his left.

Later that evening, Ranma and his grumbling panda companion finally arrived at their destination.

"I bet you regret training in China now, Pops," Ranma said in his best "I told you so" voice. "I can't believe that you slipped and fell in the gutter."

Genma indignantly grumbled as best he could without a voice box.

"Yeah, yeah, I know what a disrespectful child you have. Now which house is it?"

The disgruntled panda pointed to the old Saotome house.

"Thanks. I'll do the talking, at least until we get you some hot water."

Ranma rang the doorbell and straightened his shirt in an attempt to make himself look more presentable.

A woman wearing a blue floral patterned kimono answered the door.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm sorry to bother you when it's this late, but I'm looking for a Nodoka Saotome. I was told that she lives here," Ranma replied with a bow.

"And you are?" the woman asked, still not having taken the door of the security chain.

"I'm Ranma Saotome…"

Before Ranma could add anything else the door was quickly opened and he found himself being ushered inside.

"Ranma, my son! How I've missed you!" Nodoka gushed as she appraised Ranma.

`Oh, he seems to have turned out manly enough,' she thought happily.

"So you are my mother," Ranma commented.

"What do you mean by that?" Nodoka asked worriedly.

"Well, you see that panda there," Ranma gestured to the hairy beast in the doorway.

"Yes?"

"Well, it's a long story, but that's Pops," Ranma "explained".

"That's Genma Saotome?" Nodoka asked sceptically.

"Get me some hot water," Ranma smiled, "and I'll explain what I can."

Ten minutes later…

"So let me get this straight, Genma dearest: you are cursed to turn into a panda when splashed with cold water, but turn back when doused in hot water?"

"Yes, Nodoka," Genma looked at his feet. `Don't ask how it happened.'

"How did this happen?" Nodoka asked her family.

Genma gulped.

Nodoka heard this and smiled. "I see, so it was your idea then Genma. Right, now since you both visited this cursed training ground, did Ranma pick up a curse?"

To be continued…

Yeah, I'm evil.

But what are YOU going to do about it?

This was pre-read by Chi Vayne, who has suffered a lot because of my delusions of talent.

You should know how to contact me by now.