Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Ranma and Akane: Woes in Nerima ❯ Maybe it's friday the 13th? ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

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For a change of pace this bright and sunny morning in Nerima, Soun Tendo patriarch and over emotional fool of the Tendo dojo, wasn’t wracked by tears as he greeted the gaijin delivery man and his overloaded hand-lorry(1) at the front gate.
“Oh wonderful day! It’s finally arrived! Soun said nearly overjoyed. “Please, please bring it inside the house gait” he added to the delivery man, pointing to the large nearly man-sized wood barrel and gesturing for the man to follow.
“Oh, what a surprise it’ll be for Ranma to know that his father and I arranged this pre-wedding gift for him! Now where’d I put that hand-lorry to get this thing inside that house?” Soun said as he walked back to the house leaving the man and his lorry to their task. Though, Soun had to wonder why that gaijin man would’ve had such an unusual set of three tattoos on his face. Meanwhile Loki just grinned and set down down his cargo, just so.


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Nerima, in case you didn’t already know should be noted for having, shall we say, ‘overly enthusiastic’ high powered martial artists, that’ll seeming start large scale, property damaging fights with little to no provocation and over the silliest of things too boot. What follows is not exception.

“Hohohoho!, I Kodachi the black rose of Saint Habereke high school and champion of Martial Rythmic Gymnastics shall not permit you two harridans to approach my dearest Ranma-sama with your inferior comestibles!” Kodachi haughtily stated as she whipped at Ukyo and Shampoo with her twirling razor ribbon.
“Why you little rat nosed bitch! Ranma-honey loves, you hear that LOVES, my Okinomiaki! None finer in all of Japan!” an ever defiant Ukyo said as she sent a barrage of spatu-kens(2) at the girl. Which sadly (from Ukyo’s perspective) Kodatchi deflected with a club.
“Aiya! and Ranma too too love much Shampoo’s special ramen! Ranma will eat lunch Shampoo make, and not junk from spatula-girl and crazy-bitch!” beamed the bubbly voice of Shampoo as she lunged at both other girls with her Bonbori maces, ready to ‘remove the obstacles’.

“My Ranma, ingest either of your foul creations! Hohoho! He will find my offering of the finest French cuisine available far better than your pathetic offerings! And then he will be mine for our wedding bed!” Kodatchi said with a girlish blush as a hurricane of black roses and wood-clubs engulfed the other two girls.
“WEDDING BED!!!” Ukyo and Shampoo blurted out in outrage.
Ukyo adding. “Ranma-honey doesn’t even like you, you loon! What makes you think he’d marry you of all people!” Ukyo said as she cut through the air with her big-ass battle spatula where Kotachi had been standing.
Before Kodatchi could answer she was cut-off by an enraged Akane.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU BITCHES DOING HERE?!” said the violent tomboy as she stormed up to the other girls.

“We have too too big fight to decide who get honor to fead Ranma, what weak Akane girl do here? You no in good fight.” Shampoo said. Bubbly of course.
“WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!?! I LIVE HERE YOU IDIOTS, YOU’RE IN MY FRONT YARD FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!” Akane screamed at the three interlopers.
“Oh, what do you know? I guess we fought our way all the way to Ranma-honey’s house” Ukyo said slightly embarrassed as she sheathed her battle spatula and took in her location.
“Then we have no win in fight, who special special lunch Ranma eat?” Shampoo said to the other girls.
“Hohoho!, Final death of course!, last one standing, obviously.” Kodatchi stated.
“Agreed!” said Ukyo and Shampoo readying for their own attacks.

“WAIT! This is my house Ranma’s going to eat what I make her and that’s final! NOW LEAVE!” demanded an increasingly angered Akane.
“Sorry hun, but you’re food is lethal, we’ll just finish this up and Ranma will get the victors lunch!” Ukyo shot back to Akane.
“Fine by me then! I’ll just have to beat you all, then Ranma will have the lunch I’ve made for her!” Akane said. And before the other three girls could laugh at Akane’s statement, she was off with a spinning jump 4 meters in the air and started a flying kick towards Shampoo.
Countering this Shampoo, instead of bothering to use her bonbori, grabbed a nearby, conveniently placed giant wood barrel and flung it at Akane. As the barrel left her hands and began its ballistic accent towards the violent-girl, time seemed to freeze for Shampoo and in an instant Shampoo saw the shipping label from China and two very bold words, ‘Jusenkyo Nannichuan’. Barely audible Shampoo mumbled an “OH- NO.”
Precious seconds later Akaneusing her leading foot, easily broke the barrel into thousands of pieces and was a washed in it’s contents.
Surprised, dazed and slightly tingling? Akane broke her attack at the purple-haired Amazon and landed… ungracefully on her butt with a thud.
“Why do I feel so odd all of a sudden?” Akane thought to herself.
With the thud of Akane to the ground, the other girls stopped their fight and stood in a dumbfounded shock, starring at Akane…. Or at least the person they thought was Akane.
There sitting in a quickly evaporating puddle of Nannichuan water, in a school dress uniform in taters and shreds was what could easily be called a near mirror image of male-type Ranma. With but one exception, this man, had fiery red hair just like woman-type Ranma.
“Aaaa-Akane, iiiisss thattt you?” Ukyo said with a stuttering tremble in her voice.
“WHAT KIND OF DUMB QUESTION IS THAT!?” Akane shouted before noticing her voice wasn’t hers.
“Akane weak girl become b….” started to say Shampoo, but was cut-off by Ukyo.
“Akane, I’m so so so sorry,…… but……. you’ve changed” Ukyo said with remorse in her voice.
“I’ve changed?” Akane unsurely restated, again noticing her voice.
“Hohoho! Akane, you’ve switched sides!” Kodatchi blurted with a laugh, while seemingly understanding the transformation to a “T”.
After several moments Akane realized what she meant, and slipped ‘her’ hand down her skirt and went into a paled state of shock when she found the impossible there.

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Hearing the usual, ho-hum, commotion suddenly stop, Ranma decided to go see what had happened THIS time, expecting to see the usual.
As she rounded the corner of the house she saw Ukyo, Shampoo, and Kodatchi all standing next to each other, the two former girls stammering and begging for forgiveness, while the later, the being Kodatchi obviously found something VERY funny as she was laughing even more insanely than ever. “Now that’s especially weird” Ranma though to herself.
Then she noticed the shards of a wood barrel, stuck to one of the largest shards was the label. “ Too: Genma and Ranma Saotome, From: China Jusenkyo Committee. Contents: Waters of Jusenkyo Nannichuan. DANGER!”
“Oh no!” Ranma mumbled to herself, picking up speed to see what had happened.
There on the scene, Ranma saw a red haired man with a ‘tomboy’ style haricut, soaking wet but drying quickly, in the remnants of a girls school uniform, with his hand down the front.
Being the exceptional martial artist she/he was, in the blink of an eye, Ranma knew EXACTLY what had happened, That this time the other girls had gone too far! Their petty fighting had gotten Akane cursed, and that that man sitting there, was Akane. Ranma also knew, that she didn’t care which bore the blame for this, but that they were all going down for this!

Before the three girls could react further, they saw a onna-Ranma with murder in her glowing eyes, and a bright red battle aura extending out in all directions from the fighter as she took a stance they all knew too well, with her hands cupped at her chest.
“NOW YOU’VE ALL GONE TOO FAR! NOW YOU DIIIIIE!!” Ranma barked, and before the girls could respond, Ranma shot a blast of angry red energy larger and nearly unrivaled in magnitude from her previous ki-blasts at the girls. The energy tearing at their clothes and skin, sent them up in a ballistic arch and through several dozen concrete walls with a near unprecedented force and speed until they were on the other side of Nerima, disfigured and barely alive.

With Ranma’s anger abated and once again restrained, goes to Akane.
“Akane? Akane, can you hear me? It’s Ranma.” She said calmly as she approached the neo-man.
“Akane, let’s get you inside so you can rest. I’ll stay with you. Everything will be alright” Ranma said reassuringly as she helped the still very dazed Akane to ‘his’ feet and supported him. And with that the two went inside where Akane promptly fainted.

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“Genma, did you move that barrel that came earlier today?” asked an upset Soun Tendo.
“Nope” signed the panda Genma.
“Hmm, this is most odd, I wonder where it could’ve been moved to. Better get looking so we can surprise Ranma” said Soun.
“Right!” #flip# “Where do we start?” signed the panda-fide Genma.
“I don’t really know. Maybe a short game of shogi will help us think of where to start?” said Soun.
With that the one man and one panda went back to their game inside.

Though, in a tree overlooking the house, sat a very small white haired doll-like thing, otherwise known as a ‘mini-Urd’, shaking her head trying to understand how two adult mortals could be so profoundly stupid.

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“HUH! Wha-!” Akane blurted out as she shot upright in bed in a cold sweat.
“Oh thank goodness it was all just a bad dream. Oh, when I get my hands on those three though, they’re in for such a beating just to show them how good I really am! But how did I get in here in bed, and why’s it so dark?” Akane said curiously to herself.
“Oh good, you’re awake, I was getting a little worried about that.” Boy Ranma said as he stepped into the room.
“Ranma, you’re a guy again?!” Akane said enthusiastically.
“Yeah, happened earlier at dinner.” Ranma replied slightly embarrassed at the memory of changing while in a school dress at the table.
“At dinner!? How long have I been asleep, and how did I get in bed and undressed? You didn’t do anything perverted did you Ranma, did you?” Akane said accusingly.
“What, you really don’t remember what happened? #sigh# Oh, and I was a girl when I took you out of those wet ripped clothes, so it wasn’t perverted or nothin’” Ranma said pointing to the shredded dress laying in a heap on the floor.

“Oh, well, all I remember is Ukyo, Shampoo, and Kodatchi fighting in our yard for your supper, then Shampoo threw a barrel at me which I broke. Then nothing much after that.” Akane said calmly, though worried... about something…
“Is that all you can remember Akane?” Ranma asked with a questioning worry in his voice.
“ah-huh” Akanse said with a nod.
“Well Akane, I’m not certain how to say this…..”
(ranma in hails deeply)
“…Akane, that was Jusenkyo cursed water in that barrel. You’re been cursed to change.”
Ranma said bluntly, and waited for that to sink in for Akane.
“I I I I, change? Like you? I’m afraid to ask, but into what?” Akane said in a small trembling voice.
“A man, you could be mistaken for my brother even” Ranma said bluntly again, not seeing the need to mince words.
“Aaaaaa MAN!”Akane said as she realized her bad dream had just become her living nightmare.
“Yes Akane, a man, but I’ll….” Before Ranma could continue Akane had run out of her room and right into the bathroom.
“It’s gotta be a lie, yeah, he’s just lying to me. I’ll just splash myself with cold water and prove that that baka is just lying to me.” Akane thought to herself as she ran into the bathroom.

#splash#
“No, it can’t be, it just can’t be” Akane said as he studied the face and body in the mirror that was not “hers”.
“That jerk was right, I’m, I’m a guy” Akane groaned out load as he looked in the mirror and took in the sigh of a man that could be Ranma’s brother or cousin even, if it weren’t for the red hair.
“Akane, may I come in?” Ranma said as he slowly rapped on the door.
“Go away this is your fault!” Akane shot back.
“Akane, please, I want to help.” Ranma said gently, then hearing the sobbing came in anyways.
“Oh Ranma! What am I ever going to do like this!?” Akane said as he fell into Ranma’s arms sobbing slightly.
“There, there now, it’ll be alright. You get used to it.” Ranma said awkwardly while patting his new male fiancés back.
“Oh, like you got used you it?” Akane said, then broke away and splashed Ranma with the cold in the sink causing him to changer to her.
“Hey what’d you do that for!” shouted Ranma to Akane.
“So you get used to it huh?” Akane said, now crying and trembling visably.
“I’m sorry Akane, you just caught me off guard’s all. I didn’t mean to shout at you. As I was saying though, you do get used to it. For the first year, I was on my own with a gender changing curse, never knowing what was up, or what was down. I was so confused that I was in denial…. But look at it this way; you won’t have as hard a time as I had.” Ranma said reasureingly t othe neo-man.
“Oh, now why’s that?” Akane said wiping the tears from his eyes.
“I’ll be your sensei! You won’t be going through this alone like I had to!” Ranma said reassuringly with a brilliant smile. But Akane just had to wonder why that smile made him feel… funny.
“But I don’t want to go though it all!” Akane groaned then began sobbing more.
“Oh Akane, it’s a part of you now, but I’m here to help you through it all, you won’t be alone in this.” With that said Ranma walked over and hugged Akane pressing tightly against the new man Akane.

After several minutes of this tight embrace Akane spoke up “Uhhh, Ranma?”
“Yes Akane?” replied Ranma looking up into Akane’s new face.
“Um, could you stop that? I’m feeling, um… err, weird.” Akane replied with a blush.
“Weird? How-so?” Ranma said confused, then felt something firm brush against her stomach.
Ranma looked down a bit.
“Oh my!, Akane, I knew you liked me after all!” Ranma said with a lewd smirk, making Akane blush more.
“It’s not like that you pervert” Akane said softly.
“I’m joking Akane, you can’t help it, trust me I know what it’s like. I guess in my current form I shouldn’t of hugged you so tightly.” Ranma said.
“….#blush#….” was Akane’s reponse.
“Well, Akane, we’d better change back and get some sleep, tomorrow we’re going to begin you training on how to handle your curse.”
Akane smiled, dried tears on his cheaks with the back of his hand, then nodded.
“Akane, one other thing, tomorrow morning, we need to tell everyone about this” Ranma said plainly as she turned on the hot tap.
“Do we really have to?” Akane pleaded as he stuck his hands under the hot tap and became a girl again.
“YES!, and that’s your sensei’s orders. Trust me, it’ll be better if you tell them openly and upfront, instead of them just finding out on their own. Now let’s go to sleep, you’ve had a big day, and will have a bigger one tomorrow.” Ranma said sternly.
With that the two went off to their rooms for the remainder of the night. Sleep though, was the last thing on their minds.

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Another day, another curse`ee:
“So Akane, how do the new clothes feel?” asked male Ranma.
“Well, the drawstring pants and shirt are alright I guess, but do I have to wear boys’ briefs underwear?” Akane said gesturing to her attire of Ranma’s light blue blouse and black pants.
“Oh, trust me; you really don’t want to be wearing girls underwear if you change into a man. There’s quite a bit of pain in that.” Ranma said with a wince.
“Oh, I see, ouch.” Akane replied with a wince of her own.
“But what about a bra?” Akane added.
“Well, that’s why you’ll want spandex type sports bras, they’ll expand with you when you change, and aren’t noticeable on a guys body.” Ranma replied from experiance.
“…Oh, I see…” Akane said and nodded.
“Well, for your first lesson, evading unseen cold water sources.” Ranma said, then pulling a rope unleashing hidden buckets of water from the ceiling down around Akane in the dojo.
“Ahhhhh!” Akane shouted as she back flipped away from the water splashing around her.
“Not too bad.” Ranma said with a smile.
“But you missed one” Ranma said pointing up, with a face-splitting smile.
With that Akane looked up to see where Ranma was pointing and was doused with cold water.
“HEY! That’s no fair!” Akane shouted as he began to wring out his shirt.
“That’s the point. You never know where water might come from. And it’s seldom fair.” Ranma said, adding. “That’s why you need to be aware of your surroundings, or you’ll get soaked.” He said still smiling at Akane.
“Hmm, I guess I see your point.” Akane grumbled and conceded the point.
“You ready for the next step?” Ranma said, then Akane nodded.
“Good! Now you’ve got a minute to find the kettle with hot water.” With that Ranma pulled another rope and 20 kettles landed on the floor from the rafters of the dojo.
“ONLY A MINUTE!?” Akane shouted.
“Yep, better hurry, 42 seconds.” Ranma said dryly looking at the stop-watch.
Then Akane leapt into action dumping as many as she could, cold, cold, cold, cold. ALL COLD! Then he noticed the only one without condensation, grabbed it then dupped it’s steaming contents on himself, become a her.
“Very good! 92 seconds, not bad for a first try.” Ranma said with a smile. Adding “We’ll still need to work on your speed though. You’ll never know how fast you’ll need hot water.” Ranma said, also from experience.
“Ranma…” Akane ventured then asked “… why don’t we you know, just carry a thermos of hot water or something?”
Ranma though about that then said “Well, I’ve tried, but the water always cools down fast, or finds ways to BE cooled down. So good idea, but sadly #sigh# it doesn’t work.”
“Darn!” Akane thought to herself.
“Okay, what’s next for the training?” Akane asked Ranma.
Ranma sniffing the air. “Well, I think now we go have some breakfast.”

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“Kasumi, would you pass me the pickles?” Asked the human vacuum Genma.
“oh certainly” she replied politely while passing the pickles. Then noticed the two late comers to the table.
“Oh, Akane Ranma, where’ve you been? Your breakfast has been getting cold. Kasumi beamed to the two now taking their seats side by side.
“Oh, Ranma was just giving me some special training.” Akane replied to her sister with a smile.
“Hey Sis’, why are in Ranma’s clothes, and why are you all wet?” quipped Nabiki with a smirk.
“It’s part of the training.” Ranma replied to Nabiki’s remark.
“Really Ranma? What kind of training are you giving my daughter!?” asked a large looming figure of Soun.
“Oh dad, dad! It’s nothing like that!” Akane said waving her hands defensively.
“Well, come on M’boy, what kind of training have you been giving Akane, Hmm?” demanded Genma.
With that Ranma nudged Akane and said. “Akane, it’s time to tell them.”
“Tell us what, exactly?” asked a still large looming Soun.
“#sigh# Where to begin. Well yesterday Ukyo, Shampoo, and Kodatchi came by in a fight over Ranma’s supper. I was mad, really mad, so I started to fight too. Then shampoo threw a barrel at me, which I broke….” Akane said and then was cut off by Soun and Genma.
“A BARREL!?” the two men bellowed in shock.
“Yeah, I guess I broke right through it.” Akane said rather sheepishly.
“Thing is, it was filled with Jusenkyo Nannichuan.” Akane said, and with that dumped a glass of water on her head triggering the change to a he.
The whole table, minus Ranma, gasped at the change of Akane from small black haired girl, to large red haired man.
“MY DAUGHTER’S BECOME A MAN!” Soun “fountain-san” shouted as his waterworks of weeping began.
Nabiki was the first to speak intelligently “Wow, sis’ I had no idea. So, how’s it feel?” she saod with a smile.
“Weird.” Was Akane’s only reply as he found that smile of Nabiki’s…. unnerving.
“MY LITTLE GIRL HAS BECOME A MAN” shouted Soun now running around the table hysterically.
“So M’Boy, you still haven’t answered our question as to what kind of training you two were doing!” Genma shouted with a smirk.
“Get your mind out of the gutter old man!” Ranma said as he planted his foot squarely in Genmas face.
“If you wanna know that bad, it’s ‘man’ and ‘gender curse’ training for Akane so she’s not having to figure it all out on her own like I did.” Ranma blurted.
“Oh my.” Kasumi said before pulling out a flask from her apron and taking several quick nips.
“Well well, Akane look on the bright side this.” Nabiki said to Akane.
“Oh, what’s the bright side to this Nabiki?” Akane replied tensely.
“You and Ranma are now a perfect matched set!” with that said Nabiki tossed out her iced tea onto Ranma causing the change to a ‘her’.
Ranma and Akane, blink-blinked then smiled at each other, and before Ranma could speak, Akane blurted.
“I guess we really are, aren’t we Ranma?” Akane laughed, and all Ranma could do was nod in agreement.
“HAHAHAHA!!! NEVER A BORING MOMENT IN NERIMA!” Genma said laughingly.
“Shud’up you old fool!” Ranma said and with that both she and Akane launched the man into the koi pond.
“Oh dear, oh my, this is just too much, much too much” Kasumi said quietly before finishing off her flask of liquid obliviousness and passing out drunk on the table.
“Well come on Akane, we’ve still got training to do. Then maybe later we’ll go shopping?” Ranma said cheerfully to Akane.
“Um…RIGHT!” was Akane-kuns hesitant reply, while thinking to himself “why does the idea of shopping as a man with Ranma as a ‘her’ freak me out AND bore me?”.

That was a morning none of them would soon forget.

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:a/n:

(1)hand-lorry, aka, hand-truck, aka push-about.
(2)throwing stars are “shurinkens” right? Throwing spatulas’= “spatu-kens” right?


T/B/C…!