Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Ranma Gets A Clue ❯ The many problems with women ( Chapter 9 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: asayogure 
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Supernatural / Romance / Martial Arts / Fantasy / Comedy / Action | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 08.25.2001 | Pages: 11 | Words: 7.4K | Visits: 752 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Supernatural / Romance / Martial Arts / Fantasy / Comedy / Action | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 08.25.2001 | Pages: 11 | Words: 7.4K | Visits: 752 | Status: Completed
Ranma 1/2 Fanfic "Ranma Gets a clue"
Written by Asayogure
First Draft (5/11/2000)
Last modified (6/28/2000)
Chapter 9, "The many problems with women."
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Beg in.
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Ou ch. Kasumi's head hurt. Slowly her conscious self
swam out of the abyss that she had slipped into. Breathing
in slowly the cool slightly musty air of the room she was
in Kasumi's mind tried to sort out many things. Where was
she? She was lying down, she could feel that. The surface
she was on was soft, and bumpy . . . the couch? What was
she doing on the couch? Ouch! Man her head hurt! She
felt like some crazy little imp had been whanging away at
her temple with a pint sized mallet for days. Her head was
literally throbbing with pain. Chancing it, she attempted
to crack her eyelids open to see what was going on . . .
big mistake. Hurriedly squeezing them shut again, she
sucked her breath in sharply as the little needles of pain
stabbed behind her eyes. Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch.
Now she remembered. That man, that big, smelly, awful
man had struck her. Kasumi had never, ever, been hit like
that before. Oh sure, mom had swatted her behind a few
times on the rare occasion she had been a naughty girl when
she was little. But she had never been struck out of
violence before. Lying there, Kasumi decided she respected
Ranma even more now.
Bravely trying once again, Kasumi briefly opened her
left eye, slowly her vision cleared and she could vaguely
make out someone sitting slumped over in a chair beside
her. It was . . . no . . . it couldn't be him. Quickly,
she shut the eye again. The room was dark with all the
lights out, and Kasumi judged the time of day to be about a
half hour before dawn.
With a determined moan, Kasumi tried to sit up. The
wall of pain that her motions caused, slammed her back onto
the couch before she realized it. The commotion that her
movement caused jolted Tofu out of his dazed stupor and
took his eyes from the far wall, and the images playing
again and again through his mind.
With a far away look in his eyes, Tofu snapped out of
his thoughts on that weird and frightening dream, and
stared at the face of his beloved. Laying the back of his
hand across her warm and slightly sweaty forehead he
checked for a fever, there was none. Kasumi's face was
bruised and swollen. It was bandaged and puffy, her hair
was tousled and her breath was probably terrible. But Tofu
loved her fiercely. He would trade anything, anything! To
be the one to suffer this pain for her. If only he hadn't
been such a pathetic loser! If only he could have looked
upon this woman and not had his mind turned into insta-
pudding.
He had failed her. He had let her down when she really
needed him. What if that man had shot her, or used a
knife? It could have easily been either of those options
instead of a simple slap. Sure, a slap for most people
wasn't that big of a deal. But it was kind of hard for
Tofu to treat this as a minor incident. Love knew no
reason. This was even worse because Tofu possessed the
skills to have stopped all of this, but he had been
babbling to a tree at the time, and Ranma had not reacted
quickly enough. 'But I don't blame Ranma. I am to blame!'
He thought in anguish.
'Never again, never again!' Tofu swore that oath to
himself over Kasumi's prone and broken body . . . okay it
wasn't really broken but as guilty as he felt it might as
well be. He would never again allow himself to lose
control. If he had to, he would pour ice water into his
veins. Whatever sacrifice he must make, so be it. Never
again would he allow himself to lose control, and in so
doing allow the one person he cared for more than any other
in the entire universe come to harm. Never again!
Knowing that she would be in quite a lot of pain when
she came fully awake Tofu reached under her neck and slowly
started to massage the pain out of her. First the base of
her neck, then higher, and higher, then right behind her
ears, and finally her temples. Using both hands now the
doctor crouched next to her, stretched out in an awkward
position so as to not actually touch her more than
necessary as he leaned over her. This was not a sexual
thing, he was acting as a physician. He didn't deserve to
touch her. But at least, at least, he could do this small
favor for her, to allow her to awake without pain.
Finally she spoke. Her eyes were still closed, but
more out of relaxation now than pain. Her voice was a
scratchy whisper, hesitantly, and very quietly so as to
appease the wicked little demons dancing around inside her
head she spoke into the cold, quiet, dark room.
"I don't blame you, you know?" She asked quietly.
"I blame myself." Tofu answered detached and quiet,
without passion, his tender care never faltering. "I
cannot undo what has been done to you, but I swear to you,
I shall seek your vengeance."
"Tofu . . . I beg of you. Don't allow yourself to
become changed over this. Don't allow that which is evil
in our world to change who you are inside. I will be all
right. You are just in shock right now, you'll see, it
will be all right." She spoke to him as she always spoke,
soft, kind and soothing. This whole conversation was going
downhill, and yet at the same time it was bizarre. Their
first real conversation! He wasn't running into anything,
wasn't acting goofy, he was in complete control. The irony
was just sickening.
But she never would have wished it, if she had known
the terrible price he would have had to pay in order to
shed his shyness. The wounds on her face would heal a lot
faster than those now festering on this man's heart.
Maybe, maybe it wasn't as bad as it seemed. Tofu seemed
pretty shook up, and more so than this incident seemed to
merit, maybe something else was eating at him in addition
to her condition. Soon the sun would rise, and spirits
would rise with it, and the house would start up again as
it always did, and life would go on normally. Or at least
as normal as it ever got around here.
And so they stayed and sat, in silence. Listening to
the sound of each other breathing, each of them thinking
private thoughts, and each of them worried for the other.
-
Ranma was not a happy camper. Why did HE always get
the crappy jobs. Why was it that whenever something
distasteful had to be done they all swiveled their heads
HIS way?
Muttering to himself, Ranma hugged the thin protection
that his sole blanket provided tighter to himself and
shivered in a corner of the roof of the house in the early
morning air. It wasn't quite summer yet, and the nights
still dipped to a chilly 10 to 15 degrees Celsius at night.
Flashing back to last night, Ranma bitterly replayed
the scene over in his mind again. Wearily he had trudged
up the stairs, each step making a slight creaking sound as
he went. He was ready for a night of well earned rest. He
had just checked on Tofu and Kasumi one final time, both of
them still unchanged since the incident had happened. As
he cleared the last step Ranma came face to face with the
whole family.
"And just where do you think YOU'RE goin' boy?" Genma
had started.
"Ranma, you have a sacred duty to this family and our
household, now is not the time for letting our guard down
son." Soun had leapt in.
"Yeah Ranma, SOMEONE has to stand guard tonight just in
case more of those maniacs come back, and I just couldn't
think of anyone more capable than you sweety." Nabiki had
chimed in. Akane just stood there and looked at him sadly,
guiltily knowing full well the family was rail-roading him,
but also knowing she would sleep sounder knowing Ranma was
guarding them.
"Don't worry boy, I'll come change places with you in a
few hours so you can get some sleep. . . " Genma had lied
through his teeth. Soun also piped in his resolve to watch
over the family in their time of need, or something like
that. Ranma hadn't been listening at that point as he
nodded and sighed and brushed past them. Resolutely he had
walked down the hall and grabbed a blanket from the hall
closet as he went. Without looking back he jumped out the
window to stand his watch.
And so he stood guard. For the first hour he had
grudgingly marched around the roof top, silently watching
and listening for any sign of someone. That quickly got
old though, and then Ranma had resolved to just find a high
perch and watch and listen from there. The chimney seemed
as good a place as any. Sitting cross-legged atop the
scratchy unfinished surface of brick and mortar Ranma
scanned the still night. Someone should be coming to
relieve him soon right?
About an hour later Ranma had poked his head down over
the rooftop and peered into the guest room to see Genma
snoring away in Panda form, as expected. He had then
crossed the roof to the opposite side of the house, with
the faint hope that Soun might be getting up as he had
promised. Only to find the window latched shut with the
shutters drawn tight, and a sign on the window reading,
"Guard us well son." And a happy face in the lower right
hand corner.
Well it had been a dim hope at best. Tromping over to
Genma's side again, Ranma grabbed a small rock from the
rooftop as he went and hanging down in front of the window
with his toes curved over the roof edge, he slid the window
open and proceeded to bounce the rock off of the fat
panda's stomach, and smirk as it skipped like a flat stone
on water and careened off the old man's forehead.
The panda snorted and waved its hands around
frantically for a second, then snapped its eyes open half
way and quickly rolled over on its side and rummaged around
on its side for a second, the low squeak of a marker on
wood could be heard. Then the panda rolled back over on
its back and threw the sign at Ranma unexpectedly.
Ranma, caught off guard, caught the sign, but only
after it had nailed him square in the chest. Startled,
Ranma didn't even have time to do anything fancy to save
himself, and went sailing off the roof with the momentum of
the thrown sign. As he fell he yelled, "stupid old man!"
Crashing with the sound of broken branches and the
popping of joints, Ranma thrashed around furiously in the
scratching bushes. After a moment Ranma finally managed to
right himself. Indignantly grabbed up the sign from the
ground and prepared to chuck it through the open window
when it suddenly slid shut with a clang that almost bounced
it back out of the frame, then a board went up crosswise
across the window frame, and a black and white blur could
be seen hammering it home. Then the panda pulled one
eyelid down and stuck it's tongue out at the boy, and shut
the drapes.
Cursing, Ranma dropped the sign. In sloppy lettering
it read, "Go'way boy or I'll sell ya to the monkey house."
"Figures." Ranma muttered as he sighed and resolved
himself to the fact that he has locked out of the house,
and stuck out here for the remainder of the night, so he
might as well do what they wanted him to do.
Sullenly he jumped back onto the roof and grabbed up
his blanket and whipped it around his shoulders with a
sharp snap, then found the highest corner on the roof, and
slumped down into it in defeat. The sand paper like feel
of the roof tiles did a pretty good job of keeping him
awake. It was rather difficult to find a comfortable
position on them. Wrapping the blanket about him he ceased
his noise making for the night, and set about listening for
any noise in the night that didn't belong there.
At least there was a moon out tonight, and it wasn't
raining. Not even a cloud in the sky as a matter of fact.
If it had been raining . . . he would have broken in that
stupid window. Ranma shivered involuntarily thinking of
rain. 'Stupid old man.' Ranma thought.
Sitting there hour after hour, Ranma's mind started to
fog over, and he knew he was losing the war against sleep.
Glancing at the horizon, he knew that day break was only
another half hour or so away at the most, if he could just
hold out until day break he would be okay. The family
would get up then, and then they would be responsible for
themselves. Ranma had never been very good at two things.
Resisting sleep and controlling his ravenous hunger. If
either of those things were confronting him, he tended to
cave in.
Scratch . . . scritch . . . crack.
Ranma shot upright peering alertly into the twilight.
"What the hell was that?" Ranma whispered to himself.
Sitting upright and slowly turning his head from side to
side, Ranma listened to the night for the sounds to repeat
themselves. Minutes passed and only silence met Ranma's
attentive ears. Muttering to himself, Ranma settled back
down again. His tired mind was playing tricks on him.
Scratch . . . scritch . . . crack.
"Okay, that time I know I heard something . . ." Ranma
started to say.
Scratch . . . scritch . . . crack!
Spinning around hurriedly, Ranma caught sight of a dark
blur sprinting up the rooftop. Before he could react, the
blur was upon him. The dark shape bounded up the roof and
leapt off of Ranma's head.
"Whoo hoo hoo hoooo! What a haul, what a haul!"
Happosai elated as he skipped off of Ranma's forehead and
continued across the rooftop. Ranma's shoulders slumped as
the adrenaline drained out of his system. It wasn't an
unknown maniac. It was their well known pervert. Only
slightly less annoying he guessed.
"It figures . . . just when you think things can't get
any crazier, or any worse, the old freak shows up to bounce
off your head . . ." Ranma trailed off as he rubbed his
head and watched the old pervert bounding across the
rooftop.
Suddenly the old freak skidded to a stop. Turning his
head slowly back in Ranma's direction, he regarded Ranma
with a feral grin. Then reversed gears and sprinted back
the way he had come.
"Raaaaaanma! Sweeto! You waited for me? How sweet it
is! Here I have just the little number for you to try on
too!" Happosai elated as he jumped into Ranma's arms.
Ranma just stood there for a moment staring into the
sparkling happy eyes of the old freak. Happosai stared
back with a silly grin on his face. Several seconds passed
and Ranma took a deep calming breath.
"You know . . . you get on my nerves sometimes
dontcha?" Ranma asked.
"Yeah, but I don't really care." Happosai answered
smugly.
"Why you little . . ." Ranma attempted to throw the
old man down, and found it rather difficult to do, seeing
as the old man was now clinging to his arms tenaciously.
"Hey you, leggo!" Ranma howled and vigorously shook his
arms. "Hey! I said leggo!" Ranma yelled.
"Whoo hoo hoo hoo!" Happosai giggled. "Ranma baby,
come ta papa!" Happosai trumpeted. Then wiggling around
in his shirt, Happosai produced a flask of water, and
without a pause, bit the cork and dumped its shockingly
cold contents onto the now female Ranma. Again they just
stood there standing and staring at each other, Ranma with
a disbelieving look of shock and anger on her face,
Happosai with a self satisfied smirk. The wind whistled
and a dog barked in the distance. Ranma slowly drew the
cold night air in through clenched teeth, then went crazy.
"That's it I've had it with you, you old pervert! Get
offa me! . . . Hey, get your head OUT of there . . . I AM
NOT A PLAYTHING!" Ranma screamed as Happosai proceeded to
bury his head betwixt her ample breasts and wiggle around
in delight.
Finally having enough, Ranma swung both arms inward in
a dual finger jab aimed for Happosai's head. Flexing the
first two fingers tightly and crossing them, she aimed for
the base of his neck. And stabbed herself in the sternum
with the unexpected absence of the old freak.
Suddenly feeling a rebounding weight upon her neck and
head, she slowly reached up and lifted the bra off her head
that Happosai was using to anchor himself to her, holding
the dangling Happosai in front of her again Ranma snarled,
"you realize I have to kill you now dontcha?" Ranma said
through clenched teeth.
"May I ask for a last request?" Happosai asked in his,
"innocent," voice, with his, "Bambi Eyes," going in full
force. Shrugging Ranma answered, "sure."
Reaching around behind himself and digging around in
his panty pack Happosai pulled out a skimpy pink sheer and
diaphanous low cut bra, swimming with lace and sequins, you
just couldn't get more feminine than that, and danced it
around in front of Ranma's nose. "Model this for me would
ya?" Happosai snickered.
"Die freak!" Ranma ranted as she punted Happosai into
lower earth orbit. Standing there shoulders heaving and
breathing raggedly Ranma cursed after the departing old
man. Finally tiring of it she slouched then looked down,
and screamed. The old freak had managed to clasp the bra
around her before she punted him, including the shoulder
straps!
"One of these days . . ." Ranma silently promised to
the wind as she hurriedly ripped the garment off. Then
jumped as a baseball bat went sailing past her head.
"Shaddup would ya? Some of us are still trying to
sleep!" Nabiki's head was poking out of her window as she
leaned out craning her neck up to see Ranma. Just as
quickly as she had appeared she whipped her head back in
the house and slammed her window, leaving Ranma standing on
the rooftop in a dazed stupor.
"That's it, I'm outta here." Ranma muttered as she
hopped off the roof and landed in the garden with the
slight smushing sound of wet grass and soft earth. Landing
in a half crouch, feet together and hands in pockets, Ranma
set off out the gates and down the street.
"Maybe Ukyou's place will be open . . ." Ranma thought
out loud. Her stomach growled audibly at the thought of
some food. Maybe if she was lucky Ukyou would let her
sleep in the back room for a few hours . . . what was she
thinking? If she went to Ukyou's after what had happened
at the school, and after the steps she had been making with
Akane, she would never hear the end of it.
Sighing aloud for the umpteenth time that day Ranma
jingled the yen she happened to have in her pockets, and
decided it was enough for a meal at a diner somewhere.
Shrugging her shoulders, she set off for a favorite one on
the opposite side of town. The sun was just starting to
come up but hadn't quite cleared the horizon yet, and the
sharp clean smells of morning dew and sprinklers on asphalt
filled the air. Already the city was coming alive, traffic
was filling the streets, and the human sounds of a city
were growing.
Several minutes and many hopped rooftops later, Ranma
opened the door to her favorite diner. It wasn't her
favorite because the food was great, or because the service
was good, or even because the prices were reasonable -
which they were. It was because nobody knew who she was in
this part of town. They didn't recognize her on sight, nor
know enough of her reputation to see her Chinese clothes
and guess who she was. This was one of the very few quiet
spots Ranma had left in this town, and she guarded its
location jealously.
Bowing politely to the restaurant owner, Ranma asked
for a table and a kettle of hot water right away. Being a
diner they always had one or two on the stove so as to be
able to serve tea to the customers. Smiling, the
restaurant owner shuffled off to the kitchen area then
quickly returned with the kettle. She knew this particular
customer, and always kept a kettle on low heat ready for
her. The first time the customer had asked for the kettle
she had complained that the water burned her skin . . .
however she had managed to get enough of the water on her
skin to find that out.
Seating herself, Ranma smiled gratefully and poured
herself a brimming cup full of the warm water, then when
she thought no one was looking, dumped it on her head. The
restaurant owner saw of course, she saw everything that
went on in her diner. But a customer was a customer, even
weirdos. She would play along with the customer and
pretend she didn't see anything, as long as that made her
happy.
Sighing with relief, the once again male Ranma leaned
back in the simulated leather padded booth and propped his
menu in front of him. Scanning the menu, he quickly
decided on the miso soup meal, and some tea. Almost as if
by magic a waitress appeared as soon as he placed his menu
back down, a silly smile on her face and pen and paper
ready. Once she had taken the order and had gone, Ranma
sat back with his cup of tea and allowed himself to slip
into a stupor. Finally, finally he could relax. Here he
was temporarily safe from insanity that was his life.
-
"Um . . . I don't mean to complain . . . " Midori
trailed off staring at her shoes as she faithfully followed
Ryouga through the twilight streets of Nerima. "You were
very kind to walk me home and all . . . but . . . it's
almost day time now . . . and we haven't made it to my
house yet . . . and my dad will be worried. Can I lead
now?" Midori asked hopefully to Ryouga's silent back.
Ryouga paused a moment in front, then shrugged and
stopped. "Sure, why not." Was all she got from him.
Eyeing him curiously, Midori sidled up to the side of
Ryouga, trying to get him to make eye contact. All he did
was stare straight at his shoes. Sighing, Midori was about
to set off for home, when her stomach growled. Shrugging,
she asked Ryouga, "hey, I'm hungry. Are you?" Ryouga
grunted noncommittally.
"One of the great conversationalists he's not." Midori
muttered under her breath, then louder she suggested, "I
know a great little diner close by here, lets stop for some
tea and something to eat. We have been walking all night,
and I'm pooped." Nodding his head once, Ryouga stood there
impassively. Sweat dropping, Midori nodded to herself then
set off, occasionally glancing back to see if he was still
there.
Reaching the diner, Midori eagerly slipped inside, only
briefly glancing back to see if Ryouga was still coming.
He was, slowly but surely stalking down the street, his
inky black traveling cloak swirling in the air currents as
if it were alive. His eyes were dark and hooded and his
face was set and impassive. She supposed that he was
scaring the people on the street as they sucked their
breath in as he passed them by, or flat out leapt out of
his way, but he didn't seem all that scary looking to her.
Walking up to the restaurant owner, Midori asked for a
booth for two as she waited for Ryouga to catch up she
looked about the room. Casually sweeping her eyes across
the room, Midori's gaze passed a young man in an ebony
black sleeveless Chinese frog-tied shirt with a high
Manchurian collar. The inside was ivory white as were the
ties and the collar. His black hair was braided into a
pony tail, and he seemed to be half asleep. Moving on she
continued her observations, then realization hit her.
Snapping her gaze back to Ranma's table, Midori almost
squealed in delight. It was HIM. The guy from the
doctor's office, the one with the incredible body and those
piercing blue eyes! Hurriedly motioning to the restaurant
owner, Midori told her to forget the booth, telling her she
would sit with a friend already here. Shrugging, the
restaurant owner nodded.
Visually taking a moment to compose herself, Midori
drew herself up to her full height and sucked her tiny
waist in further and threw out her breasts. Now almost
completely off balance, she practically staggered over to
Ranma's table.
Standing next to the table, she cleared her throat in
an effort to gain his attention. Nothing. Clearing it a
little louder this time, Midori placed both hands on the
table edge and leaned over, exposing a small amount a
cleavage to her delight, and practically stared in Ranma's
face nose to nose.
Startled, Ranma snapped out of his drowsy stupor and
accidentally did the first thing his battle hardened mind
called for, he lashed out with a blazing chop straight for
her throat. Seeing who had startled him, Ranma managed to
yank the chop away from her throat at the last second.
"What in the world! . . ." Ranma started to yell.
Then remembering where he was, dramatically lowered his
voice. "What did you think you were doing?" Ranma growled
at the obviously terrified girl who was now standing out of
arms reach from the table, clutching her throat with both
hands, looking more than a little terrified. Most people
just usually said hi when they saw her. "I could have
seriously hurt you lady, you just don't sneak up on people
like that." Ranma scolded.
He tried to look stern, but the girl looked ready to
cry. If there was one thing that Ranma couldn't stand, it
was a girl crying because of him.
"I . . . I . . . d-didn't mean to sneak up on you sir .
. . I . . . I just w-wanted to say hello . . ." Midori's
wavering voice sounded on the brink of tears as she then
sniffled and backed away another step. Inwardly sighing
mightily, Ranma stood up and indicated the seat across from
him.
"Please . . . sit down. Hey . . . it's all right, I
don't bite." Ranma said as he smiled his "lady-killer"
smile. Sniffing again, Midori complied and sat rather
stiffly across from Ranma. Smiling, Ranma started to
signal for the waitress when she magically appeared next to
him again.
"And what will your lady friend be having today?" The
waitress smiled.
"J-Just some . . . tea please, strong." Midori added
shakily as an after thought. She was too shook up now to
eat anything. That had scared the hell out of her! The
waitress nodded and left again.
'I wonder if that waitress trained under Cologne.'
Ranma thought idly thinking about her magic appearing act.
Swinging his attention back to the girl, Ranma tried to
strike up a polite conversation with her.
"So you are up early today. Did you make it home
safely last night?" Ranma asked. Blushing, Midori
answered.
"Well . . . actually, I haven't quite made it home yet.
This is my neighborhood, but Ryouga and I spent the better
part of last night trying to find it, he seemed like he
wanted to lead so I let him . . . did you know he has a
rather odd sense of direction." Sputtering, Ranma started
choking on his tea.
Choking it down, Ranma resumed laughing. Midori
started to grow defensive.
"Hey, it's not MY fault. I didn't know that he would
get us lost . . . hey . . . come on . . . it's not THAT
funny . . . hello . . . are you listening to me?" Midori
shook her head in wonder as Ranma slipped under the table
as peals of laughter shook him.
Modestly Midori swung her legs towards the aisle, just
in case he was a pervert. Giggling out of control, Ranma
finally managed to shoot a hand up from under the table and
latch onto the edge. With a mighty effort, he pulled
himself up to lay lengthwise across the booth bench
clutching his belly with both hands, and taking deep
breaths trying to calm down.
Midori leaned over the table to look at him in wonder,
what the heck had been so funny? Finally Ranma sat up
slowly, wiping a tear from his eye he chuckled,
"Ryouga having an odd sense of direction . . . heh,
that was funny." Ranma grinned goofily. He had needed
that. His light mood was contagious and Midori was soon
grinning along with him.
"So, where is 'ol bacon breath anyway?" Ranma quipped.
"Bacon breath? You mean Ryouga? Is that some kind of
a nick name?" Midori asked. Sweatdropping, Ranma nodded.
Midori nodded and wisely let the matter drop, there was
apparently a weird side to this young man's life.
"He should be coming in here soon. He was right behind
me . . ." She trailed off as the implications of what she
was saying sunk home. Gasping a quick, "be right back,"
she ran out the door calling Ryouga's name. Smirking,
Ranma kicked his feet up onto the other bench across the
way under the table and sipped his tea, she would be a
while locating him. If he wasn't already a mile away.
Five minutes later, she entered the diner again,
dragging a rather sullen looking Ryouga behind her by the
hand. Snorting, Ranma smiled again. As they sat down
Ranma just couldn't resist saying something.
"Got lost again, huh Ryouga? You'd think you'd know
your way around this town by now, seeing as you must spend
months at a time wandering around it." Ranma joked.
Ryouga, just in the process of seating himself, jolted
to his feet again. Fire lit his indignant eyes.
"Who asked you! You have no idea the hell I go through
day in and day out! So just shut up Ranma, you pervert."
Ryouga snapped and started to sit down again.
"Hey! What did I tell you about callin' me that bacon
breath?! You take that back!" Ranma raised his voice as
he stood up.
"Bacon breath?! Die Ranma!" Ryouga shouted as he
lunged across the table for Ranma's throat. Ranma met his
hands in mid air and they stood there, hand to hand,
muscles straining, eyes locked, across the table from each
other. Midori was growing a little uneasy. They hadn't
acted like this last night.
"Hey! Hello?! Guys . . . could you . . . hey! Knock
it off!" Midori yelled, then tried waving her hand in
front of their faces . . . nothing. People in the
restaurant were starting to stare. Embarrassed, she went
to the next level and reached across the table and grabbed
a hold of both their noses.
"I said, KNOCK IT OFF!" She huffed. Slowly, they
lowered their arms, but continued to stare at each other.
These two had a bad history between them, that much was
obvious. It was also obvious that they intended to carry
that past into the present.
Finally breaking eye contact with Ryouga, Ranma's eyes
swept the room, to find every single pair of eyes in the
diner staring at their table. Sweatdropping, he watched
the restaurant owner making her way to their table.
"You people are crazy. Please leave. Tea was free, on
the house. Please leave." She firmly stated, pointing to
the door. Sighing, Ranma and company complied, Ranma
losing yet again another safe haven from his crazy life.
Ranma's all to brief good mood was slipping away from
him again. Slowly, he walked down the street with Midori
right next to him, and Ryouga trailing behind. Unlike
Midori, Ranma did not keep glancing back to see if he was
still there, he didn't care. His depressed steps made
slight dragging noises on the sidewalk as he mopped.
Quietly, Ranma walked with Midori the rest of the way
home. Slowly her spirits started to lift again. Maybe he
did like her after all, he was walking her home wasn't he?
Deciding to chance it, Midori made a decision.
When they finally reached her home, Ryouga hung back
looking depressed as usual. Her house was pretty. It had
a high wall around it, pained white with a red border. Two
cherry trees dancing in the slight breeze flanked the entry
gate and a flower bed circled the fence. Around the flower
bed was a healthy green patch of grass, and separating the
estate from the sidewalk was a small white fence. The type
you might see around a horse corral.
Ranma walked her up to her gate, and politely waited
for her to go inside. She stood there looking at him, as
if waiting for something. Confused Ranma looked at her
down cast eyes and waited for her to go inside. Suddenly
Ranma understood, she wanted him to kiss her. Confused,
Ranma stood still, hoping she would knock it off and go
inside. But, huffing, Midori stood up on her tiptoes and
leaned in to kiss him.
Glancing up out of the corner of his eye, Ryouga
watched the spectacle unfolding and grinned. Midori leaned
in close to Ranma, her hands clasped behind her back shyly
as she tried to kiss him. Ranma stepped back. Stunned,
but not done yet, Midori tried again, this time closing her
eyes as she went in. Panicked, Ranma did the only thing he
could think of, he put his hand over his mouth.
Midori's lips brushed skin that felt like lips, and let
her lips linger there for a moment, then opened her eyes,
and found herself staring into Ranma's hand. Her heart
sank.
Humiliated, she slapped him, hard, then she pivoted on
her heal and sprinted into her house, tears streaming from
her eyes and choking on her own wracking sobs.
"Geeeeeeez . . ." Ranma sighed as he rubbed his cheek.
"I didn't mean ta make her cry. What was I supposed to do?
I couldn't just let her kiss me, every woman in this city
watches me like a hawk, if any of them found out about
that, I would have to move to a new country." Ranma
muttered to himself.
"Cry me a river Ranma. At least you HAVE women
throwing themselves at your feet. Akane is the only girl
I'll ever love, and you HAVE her love, and what do you do
with it, you toy with her like you did this girl, you make
me sick Saotome." Ryouga growled.
"What did you say?!" Ranma shouted indignantly
spinning around with hands on hips to glare at Ryouga.
"Bring it on bacon boy, I could use a warm up." Snarling,
Ryouga dropped his pack from under his cloak and snapped
the cloak over his shoulders, freeing up his arms.
"It's about time SOMEONE taught you some manners
Saotome!" Ryouga started to walk towards Ranma, then
froze. Curious, Ranma turned his gaze to match Ryouga's,
and felt his heart catch in his throat. A rather angry
looking gentleman was storming their way, and he looked to
be of the right age and appearance to be Midori's father.
"Uh oh." Ranma muttered, this wasn't gonna be good.
In his extensive dealings with love sick, crazy girls,
Ranma had found that adding family members to the equation
was always a bad idea. Idly, he toyed with the idea of
running away, then shrugged and stood his ground.
"Hey you! What did you do to my daughter?! Yeah you
punk I'm talking to you!" The father yelled as he shook
his fist and stormed their way, Ryouga, a merry grin
spreading across his face hooked his thumbs through his
belt loop and leaned back upon a nearby fence and just
watched. This was going to be funny.
"First she stays out all night because she tells me
that some doofus gets her lost on the way home! Then she
tells me that some other guy just accosted her in front of
her own house! I want some answers buddy!" The irate
father yelled, now standing toe to toe with Ranma. Ranma
noted with some discomfort, that this guy could use a
breath mint.
Ranma, of course, could wipe the floor with this guy,
but in doing so he would sink to the low levels of the art,
such as his father applied them, and that would be a fate
worse than death. Besides, then Midori would REALLY hate
him. So taking a deep and calming breath he tried to
explain the situation to the rather large and angry father
standing before him. "You gotta lot of nerve trying to
molest my daughter in front of her own house!" The
irrational father exploded cutting off Ranma's attempt to
explain.
"Look, you got it all wrong, I never touched your
daughter!" Ranma jumped in during a pause of the father's
ranting.
"So, my daughter isn't good enough for you to touch, is
that it punk?" The father demanded and shoved a finger
into Ranma's chest, pushing him back a step.
"No sir! Your daughter is very pretty! I would be
honored to know her." Ranma back peddled hoping to appease
this crazy person. Ryouga in the background was chortling
like crazy. Ranma's explanation had an undesired effect,
the father's eyes lightened and he slapped a muscular arm
around Ranma's shoulders.
"Great! I'll call the church, we can marry you two
today!" Ranma looked horrified at the sudden change in
direction this was taking. In the background Ryouga broke
out into peals of laughter. Looking askance at his
unwanted partner in crime, Ranma saw him sprawled on the
grass clutching his belly in uncontrollable laughter. He
swore to himself to kick him after this was over.
"Um, as much as I would like that sir . . . I would
have to ask my mother's permission first. Here I can give
you her phone number." Ranma lied through his teeth as he
made up a phone number and recited it to the suddenly
happy, if not rather crazy father. Swearing to return as
soon as he had his mothers blessing, he hurriedly walked
back out the way he had come.
Pausing above Ryouga who was now rolling around on the
grass in fits of laughter he gave him a swift kick to the
ribs.
"This is SO not funny you goof ball." Ranma growled as
Ryouga's laughing slowed a bit due to his kick, but started
right back up again.
"Oh but it is . . ." Ryouga gasped between laughs.
"Ranma I swear you should have seen the look on your face,
it was classic!" Ryouga giggled then resumed his full out
belly laughing. Shrugging, Ranma hopped over the fence and
dashed away from the area, this part of town was now just
as dangerous to him as most of Nerima.
'Great, just great, ANOTHER girl has lost her mind over
me. Maybe it's my cologne?' Lost in thought, Ranma
started to trudge back towards the Tendou dojo, and another
day of insanity. Maybe he could catch a nap too. And
panda boy was getting a beating today, with his own sign,
with a brick taped to it, Ranma grinned.
-
Tofu sat in quiet meditation in one of the Tendou guest
rooms. All the shutters were closed and the door was shut.
The only illumination in the room came from a candle lit
atop the small lacquer table he was sitting at. Silent,
except for the slight crackle as he turned the pages Tofu
poured over the contents of the ancient tome, searching for
any clue to that bizarre dream from last night.
Most of the tome consisted of reports of bloody battles
that had happened, bloody battles that at the time WOULD
happen, and now as Tofu sat there, HAD happened, such as
the bombs dropped on Japan. But that wasn't what he was
interested in. He wasn't even really reading the tome, he
was simply looking for one character. The Chinese
character for Princess.
If anything about that dream was in here, then the
unnamed Princess would be in here. Come to think of it,
NONE of the people in that dream had had names . . . how
odd. Finally he reached the end of the tome. Nothing.
Maybe it had just been a VERY realistic dream. Maybe he
just had an overactive imagination. Maybe. But he doubted
it.
Tofu was just about to put the book away when his
fingers brushed the bindings of the inside cover close to
the book's spine. There was a distinguishable lump along
the top portion of the inside seam. Almost undetectable
had the book been brand new. But with age, the clever
manipulations of the book's cover could be seen now, if one
cared to look closely enough.
With baited breath, Tofu slowly peeled back the top
layer of the inside cover and found a metallic plate,
hammered paper thin, covering the inside cover. Slowly he
undid the ancient fastenings that held it in place and
lifted it up. Cleverly concealed in the hidden alcove was
an oil cloth-covered metal tablet. Etched across its face
were the tiniest Chinese characters he had ever seen.
Haunted, Tofu sat in utter silence as he held the
booklet in his trembling hands, and read the first
sentence,
"They stormed the imperial palace in the middle of the
night." His heart in his throat, he read on skipping over
the unnecessary details, ". . . As our remaining troops
crashed into the wall of the oncoming horde, we set about
guarding the Princess. I was certain we would die in that
room. The Guardsmen created a human wall before the
entrance to her room. Half of their number on the outside
singing their battle song, the other half in the inside, my
Lord Captain among them . . ."
An hour later, his eyes strained from reading the
minuscule text. Tofu lay the metal booklet down upon the
inside of the book's now broken binding. The last lines of
the young vassal's accounting of the origins of the
Jusenkyo valley flashing across his mind's eye.
"I pray that this record shall survive the ages, and I
will set about making sure it does so, somehow. I have the
sinking feeling that Huàide púrén is not dead enough yet.
I fear that he may yet again be able to touch this plane.
For as this sword wrought by the Princess' own hands lays
beside me, so do I believe that he will walk these lands
again. I weep for that day. But there is some hope, the
court sages who managed to escape, tell me of visions they
have received just recently of a saviour, a man that will
stand against the Dark Mage to save the world, and at his
side, MUST stand his other half, for if SHE does not stand
with him, then all shall be lost. So sayest I, in the name
of the Princess. ~ Goyung Laou-Cho, Loyal servant to her
majesty and the noble Captain of the home guard. May they
rest in peace, and I with them soon I hope. I harbor no
more love for this wretched plane.
"My god . . ." Dr. Tofu Ono whispered to the silent
room. Outside the wind howled in empty fury, and the
clouds started to roll in, a storm was coming, fast.
_______________________________________________________
End.
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~
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Respect,
========== ==================================
Asayogure.
Proud member of C.A.U.C.E:
The coalition against unsolicited commercial email
________________________________________
~ I am the epitome of audacity.
~ Being "normal" is highly over rated.
~ Don't believe everything you're told, especially if it
is from the media.
________________________________________
Ask me about killing spammers for fun and profit.
============================================
Written by Asayogure
First Draft (5/11/2000)
Last modified (6/28/2000)
Chapter 9, "The many problems with women."
_______________________________________________________
Beg in.
_______________________________________________________
Ou ch. Kasumi's head hurt. Slowly her conscious self
swam out of the abyss that she had slipped into. Breathing
in slowly the cool slightly musty air of the room she was
in Kasumi's mind tried to sort out many things. Where was
she? She was lying down, she could feel that. The surface
she was on was soft, and bumpy . . . the couch? What was
she doing on the couch? Ouch! Man her head hurt! She
felt like some crazy little imp had been whanging away at
her temple with a pint sized mallet for days. Her head was
literally throbbing with pain. Chancing it, she attempted
to crack her eyelids open to see what was going on . . .
big mistake. Hurriedly squeezing them shut again, she
sucked her breath in sharply as the little needles of pain
stabbed behind her eyes. Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch.
Now she remembered. That man, that big, smelly, awful
man had struck her. Kasumi had never, ever, been hit like
that before. Oh sure, mom had swatted her behind a few
times on the rare occasion she had been a naughty girl when
she was little. But she had never been struck out of
violence before. Lying there, Kasumi decided she respected
Ranma even more now.
Bravely trying once again, Kasumi briefly opened her
left eye, slowly her vision cleared and she could vaguely
make out someone sitting slumped over in a chair beside
her. It was . . . no . . . it couldn't be him. Quickly,
she shut the eye again. The room was dark with all the
lights out, and Kasumi judged the time of day to be about a
half hour before dawn.
With a determined moan, Kasumi tried to sit up. The
wall of pain that her motions caused, slammed her back onto
the couch before she realized it. The commotion that her
movement caused jolted Tofu out of his dazed stupor and
took his eyes from the far wall, and the images playing
again and again through his mind.
With a far away look in his eyes, Tofu snapped out of
his thoughts on that weird and frightening dream, and
stared at the face of his beloved. Laying the back of his
hand across her warm and slightly sweaty forehead he
checked for a fever, there was none. Kasumi's face was
bruised and swollen. It was bandaged and puffy, her hair
was tousled and her breath was probably terrible. But Tofu
loved her fiercely. He would trade anything, anything! To
be the one to suffer this pain for her. If only he hadn't
been such a pathetic loser! If only he could have looked
upon this woman and not had his mind turned into insta-
pudding.
He had failed her. He had let her down when she really
needed him. What if that man had shot her, or used a
knife? It could have easily been either of those options
instead of a simple slap. Sure, a slap for most people
wasn't that big of a deal. But it was kind of hard for
Tofu to treat this as a minor incident. Love knew no
reason. This was even worse because Tofu possessed the
skills to have stopped all of this, but he had been
babbling to a tree at the time, and Ranma had not reacted
quickly enough. 'But I don't blame Ranma. I am to blame!'
He thought in anguish.
'Never again, never again!' Tofu swore that oath to
himself over Kasumi's prone and broken body . . . okay it
wasn't really broken but as guilty as he felt it might as
well be. He would never again allow himself to lose
control. If he had to, he would pour ice water into his
veins. Whatever sacrifice he must make, so be it. Never
again would he allow himself to lose control, and in so
doing allow the one person he cared for more than any other
in the entire universe come to harm. Never again!
Knowing that she would be in quite a lot of pain when
she came fully awake Tofu reached under her neck and slowly
started to massage the pain out of her. First the base of
her neck, then higher, and higher, then right behind her
ears, and finally her temples. Using both hands now the
doctor crouched next to her, stretched out in an awkward
position so as to not actually touch her more than
necessary as he leaned over her. This was not a sexual
thing, he was acting as a physician. He didn't deserve to
touch her. But at least, at least, he could do this small
favor for her, to allow her to awake without pain.
Finally she spoke. Her eyes were still closed, but
more out of relaxation now than pain. Her voice was a
scratchy whisper, hesitantly, and very quietly so as to
appease the wicked little demons dancing around inside her
head she spoke into the cold, quiet, dark room.
"I don't blame you, you know?" She asked quietly.
"I blame myself." Tofu answered detached and quiet,
without passion, his tender care never faltering. "I
cannot undo what has been done to you, but I swear to you,
I shall seek your vengeance."
"Tofu . . . I beg of you. Don't allow yourself to
become changed over this. Don't allow that which is evil
in our world to change who you are inside. I will be all
right. You are just in shock right now, you'll see, it
will be all right." She spoke to him as she always spoke,
soft, kind and soothing. This whole conversation was going
downhill, and yet at the same time it was bizarre. Their
first real conversation! He wasn't running into anything,
wasn't acting goofy, he was in complete control. The irony
was just sickening.
But she never would have wished it, if she had known
the terrible price he would have had to pay in order to
shed his shyness. The wounds on her face would heal a lot
faster than those now festering on this man's heart.
Maybe, maybe it wasn't as bad as it seemed. Tofu seemed
pretty shook up, and more so than this incident seemed to
merit, maybe something else was eating at him in addition
to her condition. Soon the sun would rise, and spirits
would rise with it, and the house would start up again as
it always did, and life would go on normally. Or at least
as normal as it ever got around here.
And so they stayed and sat, in silence. Listening to
the sound of each other breathing, each of them thinking
private thoughts, and each of them worried for the other.
-
Ranma was not a happy camper. Why did HE always get
the crappy jobs. Why was it that whenever something
distasteful had to be done they all swiveled their heads
HIS way?
Muttering to himself, Ranma hugged the thin protection
that his sole blanket provided tighter to himself and
shivered in a corner of the roof of the house in the early
morning air. It wasn't quite summer yet, and the nights
still dipped to a chilly 10 to 15 degrees Celsius at night.
Flashing back to last night, Ranma bitterly replayed
the scene over in his mind again. Wearily he had trudged
up the stairs, each step making a slight creaking sound as
he went. He was ready for a night of well earned rest. He
had just checked on Tofu and Kasumi one final time, both of
them still unchanged since the incident had happened. As
he cleared the last step Ranma came face to face with the
whole family.
"And just where do you think YOU'RE goin' boy?" Genma
had started.
"Ranma, you have a sacred duty to this family and our
household, now is not the time for letting our guard down
son." Soun had leapt in.
"Yeah Ranma, SOMEONE has to stand guard tonight just in
case more of those maniacs come back, and I just couldn't
think of anyone more capable than you sweety." Nabiki had
chimed in. Akane just stood there and looked at him sadly,
guiltily knowing full well the family was rail-roading him,
but also knowing she would sleep sounder knowing Ranma was
guarding them.
"Don't worry boy, I'll come change places with you in a
few hours so you can get some sleep. . . " Genma had lied
through his teeth. Soun also piped in his resolve to watch
over the family in their time of need, or something like
that. Ranma hadn't been listening at that point as he
nodded and sighed and brushed past them. Resolutely he had
walked down the hall and grabbed a blanket from the hall
closet as he went. Without looking back he jumped out the
window to stand his watch.
And so he stood guard. For the first hour he had
grudgingly marched around the roof top, silently watching
and listening for any sign of someone. That quickly got
old though, and then Ranma had resolved to just find a high
perch and watch and listen from there. The chimney seemed
as good a place as any. Sitting cross-legged atop the
scratchy unfinished surface of brick and mortar Ranma
scanned the still night. Someone should be coming to
relieve him soon right?
About an hour later Ranma had poked his head down over
the rooftop and peered into the guest room to see Genma
snoring away in Panda form, as expected. He had then
crossed the roof to the opposite side of the house, with
the faint hope that Soun might be getting up as he had
promised. Only to find the window latched shut with the
shutters drawn tight, and a sign on the window reading,
"Guard us well son." And a happy face in the lower right
hand corner.
Well it had been a dim hope at best. Tromping over to
Genma's side again, Ranma grabbed a small rock from the
rooftop as he went and hanging down in front of the window
with his toes curved over the roof edge, he slid the window
open and proceeded to bounce the rock off of the fat
panda's stomach, and smirk as it skipped like a flat stone
on water and careened off the old man's forehead.
The panda snorted and waved its hands around
frantically for a second, then snapped its eyes open half
way and quickly rolled over on its side and rummaged around
on its side for a second, the low squeak of a marker on
wood could be heard. Then the panda rolled back over on
its back and threw the sign at Ranma unexpectedly.
Ranma, caught off guard, caught the sign, but only
after it had nailed him square in the chest. Startled,
Ranma didn't even have time to do anything fancy to save
himself, and went sailing off the roof with the momentum of
the thrown sign. As he fell he yelled, "stupid old man!"
Crashing with the sound of broken branches and the
popping of joints, Ranma thrashed around furiously in the
scratching bushes. After a moment Ranma finally managed to
right himself. Indignantly grabbed up the sign from the
ground and prepared to chuck it through the open window
when it suddenly slid shut with a clang that almost bounced
it back out of the frame, then a board went up crosswise
across the window frame, and a black and white blur could
be seen hammering it home. Then the panda pulled one
eyelid down and stuck it's tongue out at the boy, and shut
the drapes.
Cursing, Ranma dropped the sign. In sloppy lettering
it read, "Go'way boy or I'll sell ya to the monkey house."
"Figures." Ranma muttered as he sighed and resolved
himself to the fact that he has locked out of the house,
and stuck out here for the remainder of the night, so he
might as well do what they wanted him to do.
Sullenly he jumped back onto the roof and grabbed up
his blanket and whipped it around his shoulders with a
sharp snap, then found the highest corner on the roof, and
slumped down into it in defeat. The sand paper like feel
of the roof tiles did a pretty good job of keeping him
awake. It was rather difficult to find a comfortable
position on them. Wrapping the blanket about him he ceased
his noise making for the night, and set about listening for
any noise in the night that didn't belong there.
At least there was a moon out tonight, and it wasn't
raining. Not even a cloud in the sky as a matter of fact.
If it had been raining . . . he would have broken in that
stupid window. Ranma shivered involuntarily thinking of
rain. 'Stupid old man.' Ranma thought.
Sitting there hour after hour, Ranma's mind started to
fog over, and he knew he was losing the war against sleep.
Glancing at the horizon, he knew that day break was only
another half hour or so away at the most, if he could just
hold out until day break he would be okay. The family
would get up then, and then they would be responsible for
themselves. Ranma had never been very good at two things.
Resisting sleep and controlling his ravenous hunger. If
either of those things were confronting him, he tended to
cave in.
Scratch . . . scritch . . . crack.
Ranma shot upright peering alertly into the twilight.
"What the hell was that?" Ranma whispered to himself.
Sitting upright and slowly turning his head from side to
side, Ranma listened to the night for the sounds to repeat
themselves. Minutes passed and only silence met Ranma's
attentive ears. Muttering to himself, Ranma settled back
down again. His tired mind was playing tricks on him.
Scratch . . . scritch . . . crack.
"Okay, that time I know I heard something . . ." Ranma
started to say.
Scratch . . . scritch . . . crack!
Spinning around hurriedly, Ranma caught sight of a dark
blur sprinting up the rooftop. Before he could react, the
blur was upon him. The dark shape bounded up the roof and
leapt off of Ranma's head.
"Whoo hoo hoo hoooo! What a haul, what a haul!"
Happosai elated as he skipped off of Ranma's forehead and
continued across the rooftop. Ranma's shoulders slumped as
the adrenaline drained out of his system. It wasn't an
unknown maniac. It was their well known pervert. Only
slightly less annoying he guessed.
"It figures . . . just when you think things can't get
any crazier, or any worse, the old freak shows up to bounce
off your head . . ." Ranma trailed off as he rubbed his
head and watched the old pervert bounding across the
rooftop.
Suddenly the old freak skidded to a stop. Turning his
head slowly back in Ranma's direction, he regarded Ranma
with a feral grin. Then reversed gears and sprinted back
the way he had come.
"Raaaaaanma! Sweeto! You waited for me? How sweet it
is! Here I have just the little number for you to try on
too!" Happosai elated as he jumped into Ranma's arms.
Ranma just stood there for a moment staring into the
sparkling happy eyes of the old freak. Happosai stared
back with a silly grin on his face. Several seconds passed
and Ranma took a deep calming breath.
"You know . . . you get on my nerves sometimes
dontcha?" Ranma asked.
"Yeah, but I don't really care." Happosai answered
smugly.
"Why you little . . ." Ranma attempted to throw the
old man down, and found it rather difficult to do, seeing
as the old man was now clinging to his arms tenaciously.
"Hey you, leggo!" Ranma howled and vigorously shook his
arms. "Hey! I said leggo!" Ranma yelled.
"Whoo hoo hoo hoo!" Happosai giggled. "Ranma baby,
come ta papa!" Happosai trumpeted. Then wiggling around
in his shirt, Happosai produced a flask of water, and
without a pause, bit the cork and dumped its shockingly
cold contents onto the now female Ranma. Again they just
stood there standing and staring at each other, Ranma with
a disbelieving look of shock and anger on her face,
Happosai with a self satisfied smirk. The wind whistled
and a dog barked in the distance. Ranma slowly drew the
cold night air in through clenched teeth, then went crazy.
"That's it I've had it with you, you old pervert! Get
offa me! . . . Hey, get your head OUT of there . . . I AM
NOT A PLAYTHING!" Ranma screamed as Happosai proceeded to
bury his head betwixt her ample breasts and wiggle around
in delight.
Finally having enough, Ranma swung both arms inward in
a dual finger jab aimed for Happosai's head. Flexing the
first two fingers tightly and crossing them, she aimed for
the base of his neck. And stabbed herself in the sternum
with the unexpected absence of the old freak.
Suddenly feeling a rebounding weight upon her neck and
head, she slowly reached up and lifted the bra off her head
that Happosai was using to anchor himself to her, holding
the dangling Happosai in front of her again Ranma snarled,
"you realize I have to kill you now dontcha?" Ranma said
through clenched teeth.
"May I ask for a last request?" Happosai asked in his,
"innocent," voice, with his, "Bambi Eyes," going in full
force. Shrugging Ranma answered, "sure."
Reaching around behind himself and digging around in
his panty pack Happosai pulled out a skimpy pink sheer and
diaphanous low cut bra, swimming with lace and sequins, you
just couldn't get more feminine than that, and danced it
around in front of Ranma's nose. "Model this for me would
ya?" Happosai snickered.
"Die freak!" Ranma ranted as she punted Happosai into
lower earth orbit. Standing there shoulders heaving and
breathing raggedly Ranma cursed after the departing old
man. Finally tiring of it she slouched then looked down,
and screamed. The old freak had managed to clasp the bra
around her before she punted him, including the shoulder
straps!
"One of these days . . ." Ranma silently promised to
the wind as she hurriedly ripped the garment off. Then
jumped as a baseball bat went sailing past her head.
"Shaddup would ya? Some of us are still trying to
sleep!" Nabiki's head was poking out of her window as she
leaned out craning her neck up to see Ranma. Just as
quickly as she had appeared she whipped her head back in
the house and slammed her window, leaving Ranma standing on
the rooftop in a dazed stupor.
"That's it, I'm outta here." Ranma muttered as she
hopped off the roof and landed in the garden with the
slight smushing sound of wet grass and soft earth. Landing
in a half crouch, feet together and hands in pockets, Ranma
set off out the gates and down the street.
"Maybe Ukyou's place will be open . . ." Ranma thought
out loud. Her stomach growled audibly at the thought of
some food. Maybe if she was lucky Ukyou would let her
sleep in the back room for a few hours . . . what was she
thinking? If she went to Ukyou's after what had happened
at the school, and after the steps she had been making with
Akane, she would never hear the end of it.
Sighing aloud for the umpteenth time that day Ranma
jingled the yen she happened to have in her pockets, and
decided it was enough for a meal at a diner somewhere.
Shrugging her shoulders, she set off for a favorite one on
the opposite side of town. The sun was just starting to
come up but hadn't quite cleared the horizon yet, and the
sharp clean smells of morning dew and sprinklers on asphalt
filled the air. Already the city was coming alive, traffic
was filling the streets, and the human sounds of a city
were growing.
Several minutes and many hopped rooftops later, Ranma
opened the door to her favorite diner. It wasn't her
favorite because the food was great, or because the service
was good, or even because the prices were reasonable -
which they were. It was because nobody knew who she was in
this part of town. They didn't recognize her on sight, nor
know enough of her reputation to see her Chinese clothes
and guess who she was. This was one of the very few quiet
spots Ranma had left in this town, and she guarded its
location jealously.
Bowing politely to the restaurant owner, Ranma asked
for a table and a kettle of hot water right away. Being a
diner they always had one or two on the stove so as to be
able to serve tea to the customers. Smiling, the
restaurant owner shuffled off to the kitchen area then
quickly returned with the kettle. She knew this particular
customer, and always kept a kettle on low heat ready for
her. The first time the customer had asked for the kettle
she had complained that the water burned her skin . . .
however she had managed to get enough of the water on her
skin to find that out.
Seating herself, Ranma smiled gratefully and poured
herself a brimming cup full of the warm water, then when
she thought no one was looking, dumped it on her head. The
restaurant owner saw of course, she saw everything that
went on in her diner. But a customer was a customer, even
weirdos. She would play along with the customer and
pretend she didn't see anything, as long as that made her
happy.
Sighing with relief, the once again male Ranma leaned
back in the simulated leather padded booth and propped his
menu in front of him. Scanning the menu, he quickly
decided on the miso soup meal, and some tea. Almost as if
by magic a waitress appeared as soon as he placed his menu
back down, a silly smile on her face and pen and paper
ready. Once she had taken the order and had gone, Ranma
sat back with his cup of tea and allowed himself to slip
into a stupor. Finally, finally he could relax. Here he
was temporarily safe from insanity that was his life.
-
"Um . . . I don't mean to complain . . . " Midori
trailed off staring at her shoes as she faithfully followed
Ryouga through the twilight streets of Nerima. "You were
very kind to walk me home and all . . . but . . . it's
almost day time now . . . and we haven't made it to my
house yet . . . and my dad will be worried. Can I lead
now?" Midori asked hopefully to Ryouga's silent back.
Ryouga paused a moment in front, then shrugged and
stopped. "Sure, why not." Was all she got from him.
Eyeing him curiously, Midori sidled up to the side of
Ryouga, trying to get him to make eye contact. All he did
was stare straight at his shoes. Sighing, Midori was about
to set off for home, when her stomach growled. Shrugging,
she asked Ryouga, "hey, I'm hungry. Are you?" Ryouga
grunted noncommittally.
"One of the great conversationalists he's not." Midori
muttered under her breath, then louder she suggested, "I
know a great little diner close by here, lets stop for some
tea and something to eat. We have been walking all night,
and I'm pooped." Nodding his head once, Ryouga stood there
impassively. Sweat dropping, Midori nodded to herself then
set off, occasionally glancing back to see if he was still
there.
Reaching the diner, Midori eagerly slipped inside, only
briefly glancing back to see if Ryouga was still coming.
He was, slowly but surely stalking down the street, his
inky black traveling cloak swirling in the air currents as
if it were alive. His eyes were dark and hooded and his
face was set and impassive. She supposed that he was
scaring the people on the street as they sucked their
breath in as he passed them by, or flat out leapt out of
his way, but he didn't seem all that scary looking to her.
Walking up to the restaurant owner, Midori asked for a
booth for two as she waited for Ryouga to catch up she
looked about the room. Casually sweeping her eyes across
the room, Midori's gaze passed a young man in an ebony
black sleeveless Chinese frog-tied shirt with a high
Manchurian collar. The inside was ivory white as were the
ties and the collar. His black hair was braided into a
pony tail, and he seemed to be half asleep. Moving on she
continued her observations, then realization hit her.
Snapping her gaze back to Ranma's table, Midori almost
squealed in delight. It was HIM. The guy from the
doctor's office, the one with the incredible body and those
piercing blue eyes! Hurriedly motioning to the restaurant
owner, Midori told her to forget the booth, telling her she
would sit with a friend already here. Shrugging, the
restaurant owner nodded.
Visually taking a moment to compose herself, Midori
drew herself up to her full height and sucked her tiny
waist in further and threw out her breasts. Now almost
completely off balance, she practically staggered over to
Ranma's table.
Standing next to the table, she cleared her throat in
an effort to gain his attention. Nothing. Clearing it a
little louder this time, Midori placed both hands on the
table edge and leaned over, exposing a small amount a
cleavage to her delight, and practically stared in Ranma's
face nose to nose.
Startled, Ranma snapped out of his drowsy stupor and
accidentally did the first thing his battle hardened mind
called for, he lashed out with a blazing chop straight for
her throat. Seeing who had startled him, Ranma managed to
yank the chop away from her throat at the last second.
"What in the world! . . ." Ranma started to yell.
Then remembering where he was, dramatically lowered his
voice. "What did you think you were doing?" Ranma growled
at the obviously terrified girl who was now standing out of
arms reach from the table, clutching her throat with both
hands, looking more than a little terrified. Most people
just usually said hi when they saw her. "I could have
seriously hurt you lady, you just don't sneak up on people
like that." Ranma scolded.
He tried to look stern, but the girl looked ready to
cry. If there was one thing that Ranma couldn't stand, it
was a girl crying because of him.
"I . . . I . . . d-didn't mean to sneak up on you sir .
. . I . . . I just w-wanted to say hello . . ." Midori's
wavering voice sounded on the brink of tears as she then
sniffled and backed away another step. Inwardly sighing
mightily, Ranma stood up and indicated the seat across from
him.
"Please . . . sit down. Hey . . . it's all right, I
don't bite." Ranma said as he smiled his "lady-killer"
smile. Sniffing again, Midori complied and sat rather
stiffly across from Ranma. Smiling, Ranma started to
signal for the waitress when she magically appeared next to
him again.
"And what will your lady friend be having today?" The
waitress smiled.
"J-Just some . . . tea please, strong." Midori added
shakily as an after thought. She was too shook up now to
eat anything. That had scared the hell out of her! The
waitress nodded and left again.
'I wonder if that waitress trained under Cologne.'
Ranma thought idly thinking about her magic appearing act.
Swinging his attention back to the girl, Ranma tried to
strike up a polite conversation with her.
"So you are up early today. Did you make it home
safely last night?" Ranma asked. Blushing, Midori
answered.
"Well . . . actually, I haven't quite made it home yet.
This is my neighborhood, but Ryouga and I spent the better
part of last night trying to find it, he seemed like he
wanted to lead so I let him . . . did you know he has a
rather odd sense of direction." Sputtering, Ranma started
choking on his tea.
Choking it down, Ranma resumed laughing. Midori
started to grow defensive.
"Hey, it's not MY fault. I didn't know that he would
get us lost . . . hey . . . come on . . . it's not THAT
funny . . . hello . . . are you listening to me?" Midori
shook her head in wonder as Ranma slipped under the table
as peals of laughter shook him.
Modestly Midori swung her legs towards the aisle, just
in case he was a pervert. Giggling out of control, Ranma
finally managed to shoot a hand up from under the table and
latch onto the edge. With a mighty effort, he pulled
himself up to lay lengthwise across the booth bench
clutching his belly with both hands, and taking deep
breaths trying to calm down.
Midori leaned over the table to look at him in wonder,
what the heck had been so funny? Finally Ranma sat up
slowly, wiping a tear from his eye he chuckled,
"Ryouga having an odd sense of direction . . . heh,
that was funny." Ranma grinned goofily. He had needed
that. His light mood was contagious and Midori was soon
grinning along with him.
"So, where is 'ol bacon breath anyway?" Ranma quipped.
"Bacon breath? You mean Ryouga? Is that some kind of
a nick name?" Midori asked. Sweatdropping, Ranma nodded.
Midori nodded and wisely let the matter drop, there was
apparently a weird side to this young man's life.
"He should be coming in here soon. He was right behind
me . . ." She trailed off as the implications of what she
was saying sunk home. Gasping a quick, "be right back,"
she ran out the door calling Ryouga's name. Smirking,
Ranma kicked his feet up onto the other bench across the
way under the table and sipped his tea, she would be a
while locating him. If he wasn't already a mile away.
Five minutes later, she entered the diner again,
dragging a rather sullen looking Ryouga behind her by the
hand. Snorting, Ranma smiled again. As they sat down
Ranma just couldn't resist saying something.
"Got lost again, huh Ryouga? You'd think you'd know
your way around this town by now, seeing as you must spend
months at a time wandering around it." Ranma joked.
Ryouga, just in the process of seating himself, jolted
to his feet again. Fire lit his indignant eyes.
"Who asked you! You have no idea the hell I go through
day in and day out! So just shut up Ranma, you pervert."
Ryouga snapped and started to sit down again.
"Hey! What did I tell you about callin' me that bacon
breath?! You take that back!" Ranma raised his voice as
he stood up.
"Bacon breath?! Die Ranma!" Ryouga shouted as he
lunged across the table for Ranma's throat. Ranma met his
hands in mid air and they stood there, hand to hand,
muscles straining, eyes locked, across the table from each
other. Midori was growing a little uneasy. They hadn't
acted like this last night.
"Hey! Hello?! Guys . . . could you . . . hey! Knock
it off!" Midori yelled, then tried waving her hand in
front of their faces . . . nothing. People in the
restaurant were starting to stare. Embarrassed, she went
to the next level and reached across the table and grabbed
a hold of both their noses.
"I said, KNOCK IT OFF!" She huffed. Slowly, they
lowered their arms, but continued to stare at each other.
These two had a bad history between them, that much was
obvious. It was also obvious that they intended to carry
that past into the present.
Finally breaking eye contact with Ryouga, Ranma's eyes
swept the room, to find every single pair of eyes in the
diner staring at their table. Sweatdropping, he watched
the restaurant owner making her way to their table.
"You people are crazy. Please leave. Tea was free, on
the house. Please leave." She firmly stated, pointing to
the door. Sighing, Ranma and company complied, Ranma
losing yet again another safe haven from his crazy life.
Ranma's all to brief good mood was slipping away from
him again. Slowly, he walked down the street with Midori
right next to him, and Ryouga trailing behind. Unlike
Midori, Ranma did not keep glancing back to see if he was
still there, he didn't care. His depressed steps made
slight dragging noises on the sidewalk as he mopped.
Quietly, Ranma walked with Midori the rest of the way
home. Slowly her spirits started to lift again. Maybe he
did like her after all, he was walking her home wasn't he?
Deciding to chance it, Midori made a decision.
When they finally reached her home, Ryouga hung back
looking depressed as usual. Her house was pretty. It had
a high wall around it, pained white with a red border. Two
cherry trees dancing in the slight breeze flanked the entry
gate and a flower bed circled the fence. Around the flower
bed was a healthy green patch of grass, and separating the
estate from the sidewalk was a small white fence. The type
you might see around a horse corral.
Ranma walked her up to her gate, and politely waited
for her to go inside. She stood there looking at him, as
if waiting for something. Confused Ranma looked at her
down cast eyes and waited for her to go inside. Suddenly
Ranma understood, she wanted him to kiss her. Confused,
Ranma stood still, hoping she would knock it off and go
inside. But, huffing, Midori stood up on her tiptoes and
leaned in to kiss him.
Glancing up out of the corner of his eye, Ryouga
watched the spectacle unfolding and grinned. Midori leaned
in close to Ranma, her hands clasped behind her back shyly
as she tried to kiss him. Ranma stepped back. Stunned,
but not done yet, Midori tried again, this time closing her
eyes as she went in. Panicked, Ranma did the only thing he
could think of, he put his hand over his mouth.
Midori's lips brushed skin that felt like lips, and let
her lips linger there for a moment, then opened her eyes,
and found herself staring into Ranma's hand. Her heart
sank.
Humiliated, she slapped him, hard, then she pivoted on
her heal and sprinted into her house, tears streaming from
her eyes and choking on her own wracking sobs.
"Geeeeeeez . . ." Ranma sighed as he rubbed his cheek.
"I didn't mean ta make her cry. What was I supposed to do?
I couldn't just let her kiss me, every woman in this city
watches me like a hawk, if any of them found out about
that, I would have to move to a new country." Ranma
muttered to himself.
"Cry me a river Ranma. At least you HAVE women
throwing themselves at your feet. Akane is the only girl
I'll ever love, and you HAVE her love, and what do you do
with it, you toy with her like you did this girl, you make
me sick Saotome." Ryouga growled.
"What did you say?!" Ranma shouted indignantly
spinning around with hands on hips to glare at Ryouga.
"Bring it on bacon boy, I could use a warm up." Snarling,
Ryouga dropped his pack from under his cloak and snapped
the cloak over his shoulders, freeing up his arms.
"It's about time SOMEONE taught you some manners
Saotome!" Ryouga started to walk towards Ranma, then
froze. Curious, Ranma turned his gaze to match Ryouga's,
and felt his heart catch in his throat. A rather angry
looking gentleman was storming their way, and he looked to
be of the right age and appearance to be Midori's father.
"Uh oh." Ranma muttered, this wasn't gonna be good.
In his extensive dealings with love sick, crazy girls,
Ranma had found that adding family members to the equation
was always a bad idea. Idly, he toyed with the idea of
running away, then shrugged and stood his ground.
"Hey you! What did you do to my daughter?! Yeah you
punk I'm talking to you!" The father yelled as he shook
his fist and stormed their way, Ryouga, a merry grin
spreading across his face hooked his thumbs through his
belt loop and leaned back upon a nearby fence and just
watched. This was going to be funny.
"First she stays out all night because she tells me
that some doofus gets her lost on the way home! Then she
tells me that some other guy just accosted her in front of
her own house! I want some answers buddy!" The irate
father yelled, now standing toe to toe with Ranma. Ranma
noted with some discomfort, that this guy could use a
breath mint.
Ranma, of course, could wipe the floor with this guy,
but in doing so he would sink to the low levels of the art,
such as his father applied them, and that would be a fate
worse than death. Besides, then Midori would REALLY hate
him. So taking a deep and calming breath he tried to
explain the situation to the rather large and angry father
standing before him. "You gotta lot of nerve trying to
molest my daughter in front of her own house!" The
irrational father exploded cutting off Ranma's attempt to
explain.
"Look, you got it all wrong, I never touched your
daughter!" Ranma jumped in during a pause of the father's
ranting.
"So, my daughter isn't good enough for you to touch, is
that it punk?" The father demanded and shoved a finger
into Ranma's chest, pushing him back a step.
"No sir! Your daughter is very pretty! I would be
honored to know her." Ranma back peddled hoping to appease
this crazy person. Ryouga in the background was chortling
like crazy. Ranma's explanation had an undesired effect,
the father's eyes lightened and he slapped a muscular arm
around Ranma's shoulders.
"Great! I'll call the church, we can marry you two
today!" Ranma looked horrified at the sudden change in
direction this was taking. In the background Ryouga broke
out into peals of laughter. Looking askance at his
unwanted partner in crime, Ranma saw him sprawled on the
grass clutching his belly in uncontrollable laughter. He
swore to himself to kick him after this was over.
"Um, as much as I would like that sir . . . I would
have to ask my mother's permission first. Here I can give
you her phone number." Ranma lied through his teeth as he
made up a phone number and recited it to the suddenly
happy, if not rather crazy father. Swearing to return as
soon as he had his mothers blessing, he hurriedly walked
back out the way he had come.
Pausing above Ryouga who was now rolling around on the
grass in fits of laughter he gave him a swift kick to the
ribs.
"This is SO not funny you goof ball." Ranma growled as
Ryouga's laughing slowed a bit due to his kick, but started
right back up again.
"Oh but it is . . ." Ryouga gasped between laughs.
"Ranma I swear you should have seen the look on your face,
it was classic!" Ryouga giggled then resumed his full out
belly laughing. Shrugging, Ranma hopped over the fence and
dashed away from the area, this part of town was now just
as dangerous to him as most of Nerima.
'Great, just great, ANOTHER girl has lost her mind over
me. Maybe it's my cologne?' Lost in thought, Ranma
started to trudge back towards the Tendou dojo, and another
day of insanity. Maybe he could catch a nap too. And
panda boy was getting a beating today, with his own sign,
with a brick taped to it, Ranma grinned.
-
Tofu sat in quiet meditation in one of the Tendou guest
rooms. All the shutters were closed and the door was shut.
The only illumination in the room came from a candle lit
atop the small lacquer table he was sitting at. Silent,
except for the slight crackle as he turned the pages Tofu
poured over the contents of the ancient tome, searching for
any clue to that bizarre dream from last night.
Most of the tome consisted of reports of bloody battles
that had happened, bloody battles that at the time WOULD
happen, and now as Tofu sat there, HAD happened, such as
the bombs dropped on Japan. But that wasn't what he was
interested in. He wasn't even really reading the tome, he
was simply looking for one character. The Chinese
character for Princess.
If anything about that dream was in here, then the
unnamed Princess would be in here. Come to think of it,
NONE of the people in that dream had had names . . . how
odd. Finally he reached the end of the tome. Nothing.
Maybe it had just been a VERY realistic dream. Maybe he
just had an overactive imagination. Maybe. But he doubted
it.
Tofu was just about to put the book away when his
fingers brushed the bindings of the inside cover close to
the book's spine. There was a distinguishable lump along
the top portion of the inside seam. Almost undetectable
had the book been brand new. But with age, the clever
manipulations of the book's cover could be seen now, if one
cared to look closely enough.
With baited breath, Tofu slowly peeled back the top
layer of the inside cover and found a metallic plate,
hammered paper thin, covering the inside cover. Slowly he
undid the ancient fastenings that held it in place and
lifted it up. Cleverly concealed in the hidden alcove was
an oil cloth-covered metal tablet. Etched across its face
were the tiniest Chinese characters he had ever seen.
Haunted, Tofu sat in utter silence as he held the
booklet in his trembling hands, and read the first
sentence,
"They stormed the imperial palace in the middle of the
night." His heart in his throat, he read on skipping over
the unnecessary details, ". . . As our remaining troops
crashed into the wall of the oncoming horde, we set about
guarding the Princess. I was certain we would die in that
room. The Guardsmen created a human wall before the
entrance to her room. Half of their number on the outside
singing their battle song, the other half in the inside, my
Lord Captain among them . . ."
An hour later, his eyes strained from reading the
minuscule text. Tofu lay the metal booklet down upon the
inside of the book's now broken binding. The last lines of
the young vassal's accounting of the origins of the
Jusenkyo valley flashing across his mind's eye.
"I pray that this record shall survive the ages, and I
will set about making sure it does so, somehow. I have the
sinking feeling that Huàide púrén is not dead enough yet.
I fear that he may yet again be able to touch this plane.
For as this sword wrought by the Princess' own hands lays
beside me, so do I believe that he will walk these lands
again. I weep for that day. But there is some hope, the
court sages who managed to escape, tell me of visions they
have received just recently of a saviour, a man that will
stand against the Dark Mage to save the world, and at his
side, MUST stand his other half, for if SHE does not stand
with him, then all shall be lost. So sayest I, in the name
of the Princess. ~ Goyung Laou-Cho, Loyal servant to her
majesty and the noble Captain of the home guard. May they
rest in peace, and I with them soon I hope. I harbor no
more love for this wretched plane.
"My god . . ." Dr. Tofu Ono whispered to the silent
room. Outside the wind howled in empty fury, and the
clouds started to roll in, a storm was coming, fast.
_______________________________________________________
End.
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