Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Scenes from Nerima ❯ Scenes from Nerima 5 ( Chapter 2 )

Scenes from Nerima 5

The DigiSim Files

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Well, here we go again. To think that I would be lucky enough to find so many bloopers, outtakes and behind-the-scenes footage is just amazing. I figure that I should spread it out since there is so much. I'm also including some material from my first fic interspersed throughout this offering. I'd like to thank Dkun for starting all this and Gregg Sharp and Stephen Schlueter for continuing it. This continues to show that even anime actors and actresses are still human, well sort of. Here we go folks.

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A typical scene in the Tendo home. The Tendos and Genma-panda are seated around the table in the tea room, eating dinner. P-chan comes in from the left-hand side of the screen, squealing his head off. Akane turns around and pork butt leaps into her arms.

Akane (sounding worried): P-chan, what's wrong baby?

P-chan (opening his mouth): BRAAAAAAPPPPP!!!

Everybody at the table laughs.

Nabiki (while laughing): Jeez Ryoga, what did you have for lunch? You should really lay off the spicy food.

P-chan blushes in embarrassment.

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The same scene as before. P-chan enters squealing and leaps into Akane's arms.

Akane (sounding worried): P-chan, what's wrong baby?

Ranma enters from the left side of the screen on tiptoe. He is wearing a khaki hunting jacket, a tall khaki hunter's cap, heavy boots and carrying a single-barreled shotgun. The shotgun is obviously made of rubber as the barrel droops slightly and bounces with each step. Ranma is clutching it firmly as if it were real. He then turns to the camera.

Ranma (with a speech impediment): Shhhh, be vewwy vewwy qwiet. I'm hunting P-chan. Ahuhuhuhuhuhu.

Everyone falls down laughing at this, even the director.

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The Truth Revealed Outtakes Scene 1

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Over at the closed but not empty Nekohanten, Hikaru Gosunkugi was inside, sitting at a table slurping down a bowl of ramen. Shampoo was under the table, slurping something else. Suddenly, there was a sound of something hitting the underside of the table hard and very obvious as well as loud swearing in Mandarin.

Hikaru and Director: Shampoo, are you okay?

Shampoo (sounding agitated): Hell no! I banged my head. I guess that'll teach me to not get so excited the next time.

Hikaru: I kind of liked what you were doing honey.

Shampoo: I meant while under a table love. Could someone get me some aspirin and an ice pack?

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The Truth Revealed Outtakes Scene 2

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Kasumi was in the laundry room, leaning against the running dryer and thinking back to her first time with Ranma, or at least the event that lead to it. The alarm for the dryer goes off right then with a loud buzzing, startling Kasumi. Laughter can be heard off-stage.

Kasumi (sounding pissed): Oh shut up Akane!

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The Truth Revealed Outtakes Scene 3

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"Mimi, what are you doing?" Turning her head to look at who came in, she saw it was her savior Hikaru. Giving out a mew of query and then turning back to her picture, Gos realized correctly that she was curious. "I see you've found the picture of my lavender haired goddess of desire. Damn, I gotta stop hanging around Kuno." Hikaru was slightly startled when the kitten looked on him with what seemed to be amusement. Deciding to fill her in, he picked Mimi up in one hand, the picture in the other and sat down on his bed. Hikaru started to unzip his fly when the director started to yell at him.

Director: Hikaru, stop right now! This isn't a lemon! Besides, I doubt that will fit in her.

Hikaru: Sure it will. We've done it before while Shampoo was a cat. Where do you think the inspiration for 'Gonna Feel It in the Morning' came from?

Off stage, there are the sounds of people being violently ill, except for Ranma saying Hikaru wasn't the first one to do that with Shampoo that way. Hikaru and Shampoo-neko just look at each other with a 'What's their problem?' look on their faces.

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The view is of a hallway obviously being shot with a camcorder. It's a little shaky because the camera operator is walking down the hall. There are doors all on the left-side wall. On each door is a star with a cast members name on it. Ranma is at it again.

The camera view stops at an open door where the name 'Shampoo' is on the star. Looking inside shows a green-haired girl in a tiger print two-piece bikini standing in front of the dressing table and studying her reflection. The girl, who seems to be Lum, looks odd. Zooming in on her face shows that her ears aren't pointed and she is missing her horns. The view zooms out to show more of Lum again. Seeming to respond to some sort of noise, she turns to the camera and screams in fright.

Lum (obviously angry): RANMA, what are you DOING?!?

Ranma (heard off-camera): Shampoo, since when are you an otaku?

Shampoo: Since never you twit. What gave you that idea?

Ranma: That outfit of yours for one. What's the deal?

Shampoo (sighing in resignation): I guess the secret's out. I am Lum. Or at least, I took over the role for my twin sister ever since she had that accident during her skiing trip that got both her legs broken. Believe it or not, she is kind of glad I took over. And it gets me two paychecks.

Ranma: I guess that explains how you can afford that Lamborghini out in the parking lot.

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The Truth Revealed Outtakes Scene 4

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Late that night, Gos was relaxing in the furo when the door opened. Looking up, he saw it was Mimi. "Mimi, what are you doing in here?" Without giving him time to try to get her to leave, Shampoo leapt into the furo. Or at least she tried to. A puddle of water caused Shampoo to slip and slide into the furo. Breaking through the surface, Shampoo starts coughing and is grasping her head.

Director: Shampoo, you all right? Do you need to see the studio doctor?

Shampoo: No, I'll be fine. Just smacked my head on the bottom of the furo is all. I seem to get into more accidents lately. And now I need more aspirin.

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The Truth Revealed Outtakes Scene 5

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Over at the Kuno compound, also lovingly dubbed by the locals as Maniac Mansion, Tatewaki Kuno was playing with his sword. He was also practicing with his bokken. Hearing footsteps behind him, he whirled around in what he thought of as a dramatic display that just made him dizzy and a little nauseous. His vision a little blurred thanks to his dizziness, Tatewaki started to spew his usual drivel. "Hold base commoner, know thee now that you have trespassed into the home of the noble Clan Kuno!" You could just hear the capitals. "You would do well to retreat like the lowly cur you obviously are lest thou taste of my mighty blade!" Insert impressive yet pointless lightning strike here. "Very well, I have given fair warning! Now prepare to be brought low by my…Oh, Ryoga it's you. I'm sorry; my sight was a little blurry from spinning around so fast. How have you been?" Vision clearing, Tatewaki could clearly see it was indeed Ryoga Hibiki, his only true friend.

"Hey Tate-chan, I've missed you. My but you do look handsome today. Gimme some sugar." With a naughty grin revealing one fang, pig-boy, I mean Ryoga, took the kendoist into his arms and they shared a very deep soul kiss while grasping and massaging each others asses and grinding their crotches together. Pretty soon, their kissing started to get more and more heated as their hands started to roam over each other's bodies.

Director (sounding pissed): GET A ROOM!!!

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While trapped in the clutches of the Golden Pair performing the Goodbye Whirl, Ranma and Akane are arguing. Akane keeps trying to get Ranma to let her go and Ranma keeps trying to convince her she's being stupid about it. All of a sudden, Azusa gets dizzy and ends up sending Ranma and Akane flying towards the far wall. Ranma slams into it first and Akane slams into him. They both collapse to the ice, knocked unconscious by the collision. Almost immediately, snickers are heard coming from the audience, which grow in volume to full-blown laughter. Even though it's supposed to be a dramatic scene, the director joins in on the hilarity. Akane lifts her head, wondering why everybody is laughing and sees the reason right away. She can't help but laugh too.

Ranma (waking up): What's so damn funny?

Akane (having trouble talking): Y-y-you're Bwahahahaha! Hee-hee-hee! Oh man, this is classic!

Azusa skates over and drops something on Ranma's chest. It's his pants.

Ranma: Oh, no wonder my ass was so cold.

Everybody ends up laughing harder at this statement, with Ranma joining in.

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Mousse: RANMA, PREPARE TO DIET!

Ranma: Are you calling me fat, duck-boy?

Director: Try again.

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Mousse: RANMA, PREPARE TO FLY!

Ranma: Do I need a boarding pass?

Director: Again please.

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Mousse: RANMA, PREPARE TO CRY!

Ranma: How, are you going to show me your paycheck?

Director: Oy Vey.

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Furo Scene Again Take 3

Ranma-chan is grumbling to herself about 'uncute tomboys' while stripping. She heads to the door to go into the main part of the furoba. Akane opens the door, also nude and sees Ranma-chan. Akane leaps forward, wrapping her arms around Ranma-chan's back and her legs around her waist while rubbing her face into Ranma-chan's cleavage.

Akane (shouting but a little muffled): SWEETO!!! COME TO MAMA!!!

Ranma-chan: Jeez, and everybody calls me a pervert.

Everybody cracks up, even the director.

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Furo Scene Again Take 4

Ranma-chan is grumbling to herself about 'uncute tomboys' while stripping. She heads to the door to go into the main part of the furoba. Akane opens the door, also nude and sees Ranma-chan. She swings her hand back to slap Ranma and accidentally hits the wall a little too hard on the backswing.

Akane (in pain): EEEYYOOOWWWWWCCCCHHHHH!!!

Ranma-chan: Can somebody bring a First-Aid kit?

Director (sighs): I can just see the headlines now. 'New Series Cancelled Due To Medical Mishaps.' We are so screwed if this keeps up.

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Ranma and Akane are sitting on the porch that looks out on the backyard of the Tendo home. The camera is somewhat behind them showing the hallway.

Ranma: You know Akane, I've been wondering.

Akane: What about Ranma?

Genma-panda enters from the left side of the screen on a unicycle while juggling three rainbow-colored balls. He has a miniature sign strapped to his head that reads 'Will do tricks for bamboo.' He cycles off to the right while still juggling.

Ranma: What is it about Nerima that makes things so strange?

Akane: Strange? What do you mean by strange?

Soun enters from the right in a bright pink ballet outfit, complete with tutu. He toe steps with his arms raised to the middle of the screen, does two pirouettes then leaps off to the left. The sound of breaking wood, shattering glass and a cat screeching is heard off-camera.

Akane: Why did you shudder just now?

Ranma: I don't know. Just must have been a chill breeze I guess.

Kasumi enters from the left dressed like she would fit in at Sturgis. She is wearing scuffed bikers' boots, blue jeans, black leather chaps, a black leather sleeveless vest and a black T-shirt that says 'Don't Piss Me Off' in big red letters on it. She is scratching her ass with her right hand, trying to dislodge her underwear. She stops in the middle of the screen with a bewildered expression on her face while scratching her head with the same hand she was using to get rid of her wedgie. She shrugs and walks off to the right.

Ranma: What was I saying?

Akane: Something about Nerima being strange.

Mousse enters from the right, sits down in the middle of the screen, pulls out a miniature piano from his robes, sets it down on the floor and starts to play a slightly upbeat tune. P-chan enters from the left, climbs up on the piano and starts to dance on it. Mousse glares at P-chan and suddenly yanks the piano out from under him which sends The Other White Meat tumbling back the way he came. Mousse stands up, sticks his piano under his arm and sulks off to the left while muttering under his breath about pork ramen.

Ranma: Oh yeah, now I remember.

Akane: So what exactly was it that you meant?

Nabiki enters from the left backwards. She is dressed like Luke Skywalker from the first 'Star Wars' movie. She is swinging a lightsaber around, parrying the strikes of someone off-screen. As she backs up more, Nodoka, dressed like Obi-Wan Kenobi, enters and continues to spar with Nabiki. She parries a thrust from Nabiki which sends the shorthaired sexy Jedi-in-training's blade towards Ranma and Akane's necks.

Ranma: Hey Akane, check this out.

Akane: What is that?

The blade passes over the both of them as they bend over at the waist to peer at something on the ground. Nabiki regains control of her lightsaber while Nodoka continues her advance. They both exit to the right, parrying each others moves. Luckily for Nabiki, she doesn't fall down even if she is still going backwards.

Ranma: Never mind, I thought it was a diamond or something. Guess I was wrong.

Akane: Too bad it wasn't. It would help with the bills.

Genma-panda enters from the right, still on the unicycle and still juggling. The sign on his head now reads 'I'm available for weddings, children's parties and Bar Mitzvahs. Contact G. Saotome at the Tendo Dojo for information.' He cycles off to the left.

Ranma: Anyway, like I was saying. Take Kuno for instance. He made that stupid speech and then almost all the guys at the school tried to beat you up for a date. I doubt that's normal.

Akane: Please, don't remind me.

Miss Hinako, in her child form, walks in from the left and stands in the middle of the screen, facing the camera and smiling while wearing a barely-there red two-piece string bikini. She starts doing muscleman poses. While doing 'The Crab', the strings of her bikini snap and the suit drops to the floor. She shrieks in surprise and runs off to the right. The speed of her departure causes a vacuum effect which makes her bikini quickly scuttle along the floor after her.

Ranma: Then there is his squirrel's picnic of a sister. What kind of person keeps an alligator for a pet anyway?

Akane: Squirrel's picnic?

Nabiki and Nodoka enter again. They are still sparring with lightsabers but Nabiki is now dressed as Luke from 'The Empire Strikes Back', in the flight suit he wore. Nodoka is dressed as Darth Vader but without the helmet. They keep moving to the left and exit.

Ranma: I mean she's nuts.

Akane: Oh.

Kuno strolls in from the left while reading a book entitled 'How to Win Friends and Influence People.' As he exits to the right, if anyone had been paying attention they would have commented how well the Sailor Mars costume he's wearing shows off his legs.

Ranma: I could go on all day about the strange things here in Nerima but there's one thing I like about living here at the dojo.

Akane: What's that?

Ranma: Everyone here is somewhat normal. Shall we go?

Akane: Sure.

As they stand, it's revealed that Ranma and Akane are wearing bunny-girl outfits. Even though Ranma is a guy just then doesn't bother him.

Ranma: It's a good thing we found those jobs to attract customers to that new Playboy Club restaurant.

Akane: I'm surprised you bring in more customers than I do while you're a guy.

Ranma: Like I told you Akane. Nerima is strange.

She finally agrees with him as they exit to the left and the scene fades to black.

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Mousse: RANMA, PREPARE TO oh the hell with it. I give up.

Ranma: Took you long enough.

Director: I need a drink.

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Kuno: Akane Tendo, I would mate with you!

Akane: Sorry buddy, you're not my type.

The director starts to cry.

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Ranma and Ryoga are at the bottom of a crater that was created by Ryoga at Furinkan. Ryoga has just let off a huge Shi Shi Hokodan and Ranma tries to distract him.

Ranma (pointing and looking to his right): Look, I can see Akane's panties!

Ryoga turns to look.

Akane (yelling): Ranma you idiot! I'm not wearing any panties! Oops.

Everybody facefaults at this announcement.

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The Truth Revealed Outtakes Scene 6

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"I remember thinking to myself, 'What would a beautiful and intelligent girl like her ever see in a loser like me?'" Shampoo, moved by the comment, put her delicate paw on the hand holding her photo and mewed in support. Looking down, Gos smiled gratefully. "Thanks Mimi. You always know how to cheer me up." Shampoo mewed back a feline 'You're Welcome' and batted at the picture. Doing so made her lose her balance, fall off his lap and prove that cats don't always land on their feet. She then gave out a pitiful mew that translated to 'Someone up there must hate me.'

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