Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ The Insanity Continues ❯ Meet Mr. and Mrs. Saotome ( Chapter 7 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Lord Archive 
The wedding for Ranma and Akane is finally here, but not without its own share of problems.
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Drama / Martial Arts / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 09.28.2012 | Pages: 8 | Words: 7.6K | Visits: 947 | Status: Completed
The wedding for Ranma and Akane is finally here, but not without its own share of problems.
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Drama / Martial Arts / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 09.28.2012 | Pages: 8 | Words: 7.6K | Visits: 947 | Status: Completed
Ranma 1/2: The Insanity Continues
Volume 1 - Trapped
Chapter 5 - Meet Mr. and Mrs. Saotome.
By: Lord Archive
Characters are own Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.
This series was originally written in 1997, long before ffnet existed. This is one of my first fanfictions. Some edits have been made to improve readability, but it remains as an example of early Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. When this was being written, elements of this story weren't cliched, it was creating the cliches. While this remains as one of my more popular Ranma 1/2 series, it is not without it's faults as I was new to writing stories and a complete translation of Ranma 1/2 manga had yet to appear in America when this was originally written more than fifteen years ago.
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Ranma and Nabiki made their way into the dojo. It was packed. There were so many people there, that some of the guests could not get seats. Ranma wondered how some of them even got there. He didn't remember greeting Pantyhose Tarou nor the Gambler King at the gate. He didn't even remember inviting them. He nervously made his way up to the minister. He saw that Nabiki was greeting some of the guests, the ones most likely to cause trouble and handed each of them a card.
Each of the recipients looked rather upset as they read the cards, as each card offered a personalized threat of what would happen if they stopped the wedding. After the final card was delivered, Nabiki signaled Genma to start playing the wedding march on the rented sound system.
Ranma thought that this was it. He took a deep breath. He needed to be calm as he didn't want to screw this up. He tried to gain the 'soul of ice' he gained from his Hiryu Shuten Ha training.
The guests turned toward the dojo door as it slid open. Standing at the entrance way were Mousse and Akari, who started to walk towards him. Ryoga and Ukyou followed them. Finally, Soun and Akane walked down the isle.
Ranma's eyes lost focus on everything but Akane. His only coherent thought during the time it took Akane to walk across the dojo was how cute she looked. He barely registered the minister's words at the start of the ceremony.
The minister began, "Who is it that gives away the bride?"
Soun bowed slightly. His voice was unusually calm, "I do."
The minister continued, "We are gathered here today, to witness this man and this woman join in the bonds of holy matrimony. Brought together by kami, love, and... an arrangement by meddling fathers?"
Ranma registered this phrase and looked at the minister with bewilderment. Akane giggled and whispered to Ranma, "Nabiki added some special touches."
Ranma sighed and attempted to regain control and have a 'soul of ice.'
Akane was thankful that Nabiki added those special touches. Akane felt that was just what she needed something to help keep her from becoming too nervous and make some kind of mistake.
The minister shook his head and said, "Let no man..."
A man interrupted, "I am Draco, a prince of an ancient kingdom, and I have come to wed this woman of great power." He finished his statement by pointing at Akane, and the guests gasped in shock. Ranma responded with chi blast that sent Draco out the door and knocked him out cold.
Minister continued nervously, "...woman..."
A woman's voice interrupted, "I can not allow this wedding to take place, for I am promised to Ranma by an arrangement made by my father and Saotome Genma."
To which Genma began to sweat nervously while Ranma, Akane, and many of the guests scowled at him. Nodoka touched the hilt of her katana.
Ukyou growled angrily. "Sit down, shut up, and join the Ranma ex-fiancee club. You're member number four or five."
Woman asked, "And you are?"
Ukyou replied, "Ukyou, member number 2, I think."
Woman asked, "The engagement is off?"
Ranma intoned, "Yes."
Woman sighed and said, "Oh good. I didn't want to get married anyway." She turned and walked off.
The minister, becoming very nervous, squeaked, "...beast..."
A dragon stuck his head and some of his neck through the door frame and said, "Ah, there is a lot of fresh meat here." Most of the guests shook in fright.
Before the dragon could strike, a group of old bald guys shouted, "Get it! It's a dragon with hair!"
The dragon looked at the old men and screeched, "Oh no! Not them." The dragon flew off, chased by the bald men. Some of the late arrivals sat down at the seats the old men previously sat at.
The minister began to shake and gasped out, "...demon..."
A monstrous black demon climbed out of a hole that opened in the middle of the dojo and yelled, "Your souls shall be mine!"
Kuno attacked it with a glowing sword that formed in his hand at the appearance of the demon, and announced, "By honor and by rights, I, Kuno Tatewaki, must uphold the family duty to cleanse this world of all demons." That said, Kuno word split the demon into two pieces. The demon and sword disappeared. Everyone stared at him in shock.
The minister was very pale and muttered, "...nor any other living..."
A small girl bounded into the dojo and shouted, "Marie, give Marie back to Azusa!" She pulled on Ranma's suit and then noticed Ryoga and screeched, "Charlotte!"
Ryoga grabbed the girl and booted her out of the dojo.
Minister was white as a ghost and stammered, "...or unliving being..."
A gray humanoid phantom creature appeared next to Ranma, and Gosunkugi whispered, "Kill him."
Akane saw it and punched at the phantom but screamed in pain as she connected.
Gosunkugi, horrified at her scream, dispelled his first true attempt at magic.
Most of the guests were in state of shock and bewilderment. Ranma held Akane's hand, but she took it away and said, "I'm fine." She rubbed her hand and turned to the minister and said, "You may continue."
"...put asunder the bonds that tie these two together," the minister continued nervously while wondering what the hell was going on. That some of the guests were completely unfazed did not escape him. None of this should be possible. The lines, it must be the lines. This would be the last time he would ever allow personalized ceremonial vows. He proceeded to forget what just happened. "Saotome Ranma, do you take Tendo Akane to be your lawfully wedded wife. Through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, to save her from KIDNAPPINGS?... ahh, until death do you part?"
"I do," Ranma replied with a grin.
Ranma's grin quickly turned into a look of shock and then anger when he heard Ryoga say the words as well from behind him. He turned and scowled at his 'best man,' while Akane and Akari gave Ryoga the evil eye. The guests that had not lost their mind yet looked either disgusted, angry, or confused.
Ryoga shrank back, meekly saying, "I'm sorry! I'm very sorry!"
The poor minister wanted to get this over with quickly so he could get to the sake. So, he resumed the ceremony before everyone could settle back down.
The minister turned to Akane and said, "Tendo Akane, do you take Saotome Ranma to be your lawfully wedded husband. Through sickness and in heath, for richer and for poorer, as a man and... a... WOMAN?... eh... until death do you part?"
Akane giggled, "I do."
Ranma scowled at Nabiki. The guests were completely confused, numb and/or shocked at proceedings. If anyone had looked at Ukyou, they would notice that she mouthed out, "I do."
The minister hoped they had a LOT of sake for the reception. He then told them, "It is time to present the rings."
Ryoga got the ring from Mousse and then handed it to Ranma, and Ukyou took the ring from Akari and handed it to Akane. Ranma and Akane held out the rings.
Minister spoke, "May the powers that be bless these symbols of the love these two share, forever showing the bond between them." The minister turned toward Ranma and said, "Place the ring on her finger and repeat after me. With this ring I thee wed."
Ranma, finally gaining the 'soul of ice,' responded, "With this ring, I thee wed."
The minister continued, "To love, to cherish, and to encourage without insult, from this day forth."
"To love, to cherish, and to encourage without insult, from this day forth." Ranma rather meekly said with the 'without insult' part as he gently pushed the ring up Akane's finger.
Minister thought that change was at least somewhat normal. He then turned toward Akane and said, "Place the ring on his finger and repeat after me. With this ring I thee wed."
Akane's voice cracked as she said, "With this ring I thee wed."
"To love, to honor, and to listen to him before bludgeoning, from this day forth," continued the minister.
"To love, to honor, and to listen to him before bludgeoning, from this day forth," Akane said with a similar note of meekness with her part of the changed vow.
The minister believed ignoring it would make him happier. He then said, "If there is any one here who has reason for these two people not to be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."
The minister looked up from the reading the customized wedding vows. He emitted a surprised squeak as he noticed Ranma glowing with a battle aura with a look that said, "You speak, you die."
Akane didn't notice as she cast a similar gaze to the guests that said, "Don't you dare." The guests were either confused, scared, or unmoved.
The minister announced nervously, "Ahh, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Ranma leaned forward and kissed Akane for what seemed an eternity.
Minister finished, "It is my, ahh, pleasure to present Mr. and Mrs. Saotome. All right, where is the sake? I need a drink." Those guests that retained some of their mind cheered.
Ranma and Akane finally ended their kiss. They let out a mental cheer of success at the same time as they stared into each other's face.
Nabiki cheered, "All right, Sis! Now hold that pose. We need to get a lot of wedding photos."
With the ceremony over, the guests began to recover from the unusual proceedings. Ranma and Akane posed for several photos with and without the other members of the bridal party and/or guests as various family and friends burned through rolls of film.
Nabiki asked, "All right let's get a couple photos of you two kissing."
They started to kiss again. Nabiki took only a couple photos before she pulled out a water gun from hiding and shot Ranma in the back of the head. Several guests were shocked to see Ranma shrink and turn into a girl. Many of them just lost their mind completely. The groom-turned-pseudo-bride apparently did not notice until she heard a commotion from the guests.
Akane's grandmother screeched, "What is going on here?"
Various students of Furinkan High cheered.
Kodachi stammered, "Where did Ranma go?"
Kuno replied, "The pig-tailed girl is the vile deceiver, Saotome Ranma."
Kodachi asked in shock, "What? How can this be?"
Mikado was also in shock asked, "You don't mean that she is really a guy?"
Kuno replied to Mikado, "That is precisely what I mean."
"Eh... Excuse me." A green hue covered Mikado's face, as he got up and ran out the dojo.
Minister shouted, "Dear God! Where is that sake!?"
Akane's grandfather nodded in agreement. "Let me join you." A number of guests, even some of whom don't drink, followed them in search of a good strong drink.
Ranma broke off from his kiss as he suddenly realized he was now a she. She felt the water in her hair and turned to see that Nabiki was the culprit. "What ya do that for!?" She moved toward Nabiki, but was held back by her collar by her wife.
"Relax Ranma," Akane advised. "It wouldn't hurt to get a couple photos of you in that form."
Ranma tried to relax a bit, for her wife, and started to straighten out her suit. She noticed that her wedding ring no longer fit, and put it in her pocket.
Akane noticed that several of the guests looked at Ranma in shock and horror. She began to giggle nervously, "Oh... Um... This is still Ranma. He was cursed in China to turn into a girl when splashed with cold water. He'll turn back with hot water." This relaxed some of the guests, but she could tell they were very uneasy.
Ranma said, "We'll get someone to explain this. Can we get the photos done with?"
Several more photos were taken, some with the wedding party. Then another spray of water came from the guests. This time it hit Ryoga. Everyone gasped in amazement either at the best man made best pig or the person with the water gun.
Akane gasped, "Kasumi!?"
Kasumi said meekly, "Sorry, I just wanted to do that for such a long time."
Ranma asked, "Why didn't you?"
Kasumi replied, "I promised father I wouldn't tell."
Soun cried, "She's going to kill me!"
Akane cried out in an upset tone, "Was I the only one who didn't know? Why didn't someone tell me?"
Kasumi answered, "Because father saw him as a means to see how much Ranma cared for you. If Ranma was jealous of P-Chan, all was well. If not, he had to come up with a plan to get you together again. I did not agree with it, but I had promised."
Akari glared at her boyfriend knowing she would have to talk with that swine.
Nodoka thought she had known everything, yet now had to wonder how much more of this mess was out there.
Akane stared evilly at her father, but eased up at her husband's touch.
"We should take some pictures with P-Chan," Ranma pointed out, picking up P-Chan and handed him to her wife and as they posed for a couple more shots.
Ranma then asked, "Have enough pictures yet?"
Nabiki replied, "I guess."
Gosunkugi asked, "Um, could I get one of you two kissing... as you are now?"
Ranma and Akane glared at him.
"Come on, it'll be the last photo," Nabiki encouraged.
Akane pouted at her sister and then let out a sigh. "I guess."
Ranma grumbled under her breathe, knowing that if Nabiki wants the photo, she would get the photo, no matter how much it would hurt. Besides, she didn't really mind kissing her wife.
The newlyweds kissed once again, but for the first time, starting it when they were both girls. She felt a little self-conscious at first but soon went into a passionate kiss as she noticed Akane had no apprehensions about it.
"You really don't mind the curse, do you?" Ranma asked.
Akane whispered, "Nope. I fell in love with you, not your body. Besides, it means we can have lots more fun later." She gave him a wink.
Ranma stood there slack jawed.
"Nabiki, why don't you start explaining... about this?" Akane requested.
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Nabiki began to tell the tale of how Ranma got cursed, but to the newlyweds' displeasure several of the guests proceeded to relate several of the events of the past year and a half. Most of the guests remained behind to hear about the interesting life they led.
The newlyweds were led to the dining room of the Tendo home. While Akari took Ryoga to the bath so he could change back, Ranma used a teakettle to changed back.
The newlyweds watched Kasumi set up a table with food for the reception when the minister led a few of the guests to them with the celebratory sake in tow. Sheepishly, Ranma and Akane cracked open the case to start the reception so the guests could start to drink.
Tables and chairs had been set up outside. All those involved in preparing the wedding thanked to the powers that be for the unusually warm and pleasant weather.
"This day seems so perfect," Ranma commented.
Akane smiled. "Yes, it seems like some higher being planned on us being married today."
"Yeah, well I thought the wedding would have more problems, especially with so many uninvited guests."
"More problems?" Akane screeched.
"Yeah. Everything that showed up only lasted a couple seconds," Ranma almost complained.
"Anything worse and the wedding might have been stopped," Akane retorted with a tinge of anger.
"Maybe I just wanted to protect Tendo Akane a bit more. After all I've got a lifetime to protect Saotome Akane," Ranma told her with a grin.
Akane, moved by Ranma's words, gave him that smile that always melted his heart and she started to kiss him passionately.
They broke it off when they heard someone clear their throat. Cologne and Shampoo stood before them.
Cologne bowed politely. "Congratulations Akane, you've won a very difficult battle for Ranma's heart."
"Um, thanks." Akane replied nervously.
"For this victory, I feel you have earned the right to be an honorary member of the Amazon tribe," Cologne announced.
Shampoo screamed out, "NO! Akane deserves no such honor. Great-grandmother only to make violent girl Amazon to save face."
Cologne scowled at the girl. "Now, calm down granddaughter, you know Akane has shown Amazon spirit in the past. It is only fitting that the one who married Ranma be an Amazon if not blood, then in name."
Shampoo only nodded her head in reply.
Cologne turned toward the newlywed girl. "Welcome to the Amazon tribe, Akane."
Akane stuttered, "I... I... don't know what to say."
Ranma asked, "This isn't going to come back and haunt us. Will it?"
"The only thing that will be asked of Akane is that she tries to live by our laws and if the Amazon tribe is in trouble, she will come and help," Cologne replied.
Akane frowned. "I don't know about following the laws, but if you need help, I'll be there."
Ranma corrected, "No. We'll be there."
Cologne smiled a devilish grin. "That is all I could really ask for. Thank you." She bowed to the couple.
Shampoo had to asked, "How? How did violent girl steal husband's heart? I love Ranma. I would make better wife than violent girl. Why Ranma marry violent girl and not me?"
Akane was at loss of words.
Ranma answered, "Shampoo, the reason why I married Akane is because I... love her."
Shampoo retorted, "But Ranma love Shampoo!"
Ranma shook his head. "I don't love you. I like you as a friend, but I do not love you. Do you understand?"
Shampoo pouted at him. "No. I no understand, but will accept. If Ranma love pervert girl more than me... Ranma should have pervert girl."
"Shampoo... ahh... I would like us all to be friends," Akane offered.
"I no know if can be friends.... I will try. Congratulations, I hope Ranma and Akane happy." Shampoo turned away stiffly.
"Thanks," responded the newlyweds.
Shampoo then added, "But if no make Ranma happy, I will make pervert girl pay!"
"I'll do my best to make him happy. You have my word on that," Akane promised.
"Ranma, one more thing. Can I see your wedding ring?" Cologne asked.
"Why?" Ranma asked suspiciously.
Cologne pulled out a bottle filled with some sort of liquid. "I brought with me a magic oil that will allow it to change its size when you switch forms.”
"Um, okay." Ranma wasn't sure to trust Cologne, but Mousse had said they couldn't do anything anymore.
Ranma handed Cologne the ring, and she put it inside a flask. She then shook it. After that, she carefully removed the ring and cleaned it. The elder Amazon then handed the ring back to Ranma. Akane took the ring and slipped it back onto his finger.
"Thanks. Hopefully it'll work," Ranma said.
"Your welcome," Cologne replied.
The Amazons bowed to the couple and returned to the dojo.
A moment later, Ranma's grandparents arrived, followed by Nodoka with her hand on her katana.
Ranma's grandfather began nervously, "Ah... Congratulations. Wish we could stay longer, but we, ah, need to be somewhere else." He cast a worried glance toward Nodoka.
Ranma's grandmother bowed and added, "Congratulation. I wish you all the best. I would like you to consider teaching your children in the family art."
Nodoka replied, "They will teach them the family art of Anything Goes Martial Arts."
Ranma nodded. "Yes."
Nodoka pointedly announced, "It is too bad you have to leave, NOW. Let me show you the way out."
Ranma's grandparents nervously nodded and left with Nodoka.
Akane asked, "What was that about?"
Ranma nervously said, "Um... They practice the art of, um... thievery."
Akane rolled her eyes. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"
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Akari sat in the changing room of the bath and waited for Ryoga to finish getting dress. He finally finished with the exception of the bow tie.
"Now would you care to explain why you said 'I do' during the wedding?" Akari demanded.
Ryoga stuttered, "It's, ah, well, ah... I..."
Akari chided, "You love her, don't you?"
Ryoga could only nod, while his girlfriend fumed. "I'm sorry. I haven't gotten over how I feel about her. I want to put that behind me, but I can't. Part of me will always want to be with her. But I want to be with you now. Please forgive me."
"You're not using me to try and forget her, are you?" Akari accused.
Ryoga waved his hands in denial. "No. I wouldn't do that. When you came into my life I still thought I had a chance with Akane. I was torn between you two, I couldn't decide. I felt drawn to you because you accepted me for who I was, curses and all. Because of you, I could finally realize that Ranma and Akane belong together."
"Are you with me only because I accept you as a pig?" Akari questioned.
"No. I'm with you because you're kind, caring, nice, cute, and understanding. I want us to be together. Please forgive me." Ryoga bowed his head.
"I... I forgive you. Now let's go back, my cute little pig." Akari finished with a grin, but Ryoga wondered if all was truly forgiven.
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Ukyou ran out of the dojo, followed by Konatsu. They ran past Ranma and Akane and went upstairs. The young chef went into Nabiki's room and locked the door behind her.
Konatsu asked, "Are you all right?"
Ukyou replied, "No. I can't take much more of this. I... I want to go home."
"Okay, we'll go home now," Konatsu agreed.
"We'll leave as soon as I get out of this damn dress!" Ukyou screamed.
Akane and Ranma arrived upstairs. Konatsu answered the worried looks of the newlyweds with his own.
Ranma asked, "What's wrong?"
Konatsu replied, "Today has been too much for her. We'll be leaving as soon as she finished changing."
Ranma asked, "Ucchan are you okay?"
Ukyou exited Nabiki's room, her tux had been put on in haste. "I'm not okay Ranma, and please call me Ukyou for now. That other name reminds me of too much."
Ranma flinched. "If that's what you want."
"It is. I... I've got to go." Tears weld up into Ukyou's eyes before she ran out of the Tendo home, Konatsu following closely behind.
Akane whispered, "I hope she'll be all right."
Ranma added, "I hope so too."
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A couple hours passed as the guests listened to the stories of some of the events that occurred in the past year and a half. Ranma and Akane recovered a little from their encounter with Ukyou. During this time some of the guests congratulated the newlyweds. After the stories were told the guests proceeded to make for the food, and the dojo was converted into a dance hall. The minister had been sent home, completely drunk.
Once the starving guests had decimated the food table, they either went to the dojo to dance or stayed at the tables outside to talk.
The first dance went to Ranma and Akane. The guests watched as they swayed to the music. They were not actually dancing, as neither of them knew how, so they tried to fake it. The guests started to join in the dancing. First among those on the dance floor were Nodoka and Genma, Ryoga and Akari, and Mikado and Kodachi. It wasn't long before the newlyweds retreated to the dining room.
Mousse nervously approached Shampoo and asked, "Shampoo, my love. May I have the pleasure of this dance?"
"I believe that is Shampoo," Yuka replied, giggled while she pointed at the purple-haired amazon.
Mousse pulled his glasses to his eyes. "Sorry." He went over to Shampoo, now actually wearing his glasses, and asked, "My love. May I have the pleasure of this dance?"
Shampoo screamed her reply, "NO! I will not dance with blind duck-boy. I would rather be killed by dog!"
Mousse pleaded, "But my love, I am training under Ranma so that I can earn the right to be your husband."
Shampoo yelled, "You have no right to be my husband. Right belongs to man who defeats me in battle. And you are no man!"
Mousse stated, "I shall prove myself to you."
Shampoo continued her rant, "No way can duck prove he man. Duck only good for being dinner. Annoy me anymore, I cook you." She then grabbed Mousse and threw him through the dojo wall and into the koi pond. She glared at two guys who watched the one sided argument and demanded, "What boys looking at?"
Hiroshi and Daisuke replied, "Oh... nothing."
"Quack. Quack," was heard from the pond.
Chibi-Ms. Hinako grinned, pulling out a five yen coin. "Now that is not the way for a guest to behave at a wedding. Happo Go-en Shatsu."
Shampoo's chi was drained into Ms. Hinako. Her body went from that of a ten-year-old to her beautiful, buxom adult form while Shampoo blew into the wall as if she were a paper doll. Several guys started to fight to ask the teacher to dance.
Ms. Hinako had other ideas and walked up to Soun. "Greetings Mr. Tendo, I wonder if you would allow me the pleasure of this dance?"
Soun stuttered, "Su... Sure."
Nabiki looked at her with disgust. The guys who had been fighting started to cry.
----
Pantyhose looked at Shampoo and said aloud to himself, "Great, now I really have to avoid fighting her."
Cologne responded to Pantyhose anyway, "Why? She is a rather beautiful young woman, and a great fighter. Also, it would not matter what your name is."
Pantyhose glared at Cologne. "I'd rather marry fem-boy than her." If he took out an Amazon, his name would not be a problem. Maybe he should pay a visit to an Amazon village. He could just forget about it and wait for an opportunity to beat the crap out of Happosai and get him to change his name, or, for fun, he could trash Ranma again.
----
Dr. Tofu did not notice anything. He was busy as he tried to build up enough courage and self-control to ask Kasumi to dance.
Kasumi approached and greeted, "Hello, Dr. Tofu."
Dr. Tofu stuttered, "Ka... Kasumi... ah, hi. Nice day isn't it."
Kasumi replied, "Oh my, yes. A perfect day for a wedding."
Dr. Tofu's glasses started to get covered by steam. "Kasumi... would you... ah, like to... ah..." he attempted to say as he tentatively stretched out his hand toward the dance floor.
Kasumi took the hint. "Dance? I'd love to." She promptly led the nervous doctor to the dance floor and found herself having to guide his movements. The entire time Dr. Tofu barely remained in control, while she smiled. Regretfully the song came to an end. "Thank you for the dance."
"You... You're welcomed." Dr. Tofu began to giggle like a little child as his control snapped. He began to dance away merrily, shouting, "She danced with me! She danced with me!" The young doctor continued his dance of joy through the dojo wall, over the wall fence, and into streets.
Kasumi frowned at the sight. "And he was doing so well."
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As the evening progressed, many of the guests grew tired and were preparing to leave. Soun decided now was the time to give Ranma and Akane their wedding present. He got all the guests into the dojo and then brought the newlyweds in.
Soun shouted, "May I please have your attention?"
The guests quieted down.
Soun began to speak, "This day has been a long time coming. An arrangement, that was made nearly twenty years ago, for the purpose of joining the Tendo clan and the Saotome clan, has finally happened on this joyful day." He then began to cry tears of joy.
Genma continued the speech, "Now that Ranma and Akane are married, they shall carry on the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, as shall their children."
Soun regained his composure and then continued, "As the heirs to our illustrious school of martial arts, it is my pleasure to give them the Tendo dojo and home."
Genma removed a sheet to reveal two signs. One stated Saotome Dojo, and the other Saotome. Ranma, Akane, and many of the guests were stunned. Soun returned to cry for joy.
Ranma final spoke, "The house is ours?!"
Genma replied, "Yes."
Ranma and Akane could not grasp the idea. The dojo and the house belonged to them.
Nabiki added, "And don't worry too much about the expenses. Along with the house comes a small amount of money and some stocks in Nerima Construction Industries. That should be enough to handle most of your expenses for at least a couple years. Of course you realize that it's our turn to freeload off you, Ranma."
Ranma regained a few of his faculties and saw an opportunity to get at Nabiki and joked, "Ah... Mr. Tendo and Pop can freeload, Kasumi and Mom do more than enough house work to earn their place, but you, what do you offer?"
Nabiki retorted, "Well, the meager amount daddy is giving you should last two years, if you're in control, two months. Let me handle it, and you might never have to work."
Ranma stuttered, "Um... right. Money advice." Eager to change subjects, he stated, "I guess we should throw the bouquet and garter now."
A few of the guests cheered their approval. Genma moved the signs out of the way.
Akane shouted, "All right. Girls first. All you single girls get into the middle of the dojo."
Shampoo inquired, "What's going on?"
Cologne answered, "It's an odd western contest. I want you to win this."
Shampoo nodded and joined the mass of girls.
Akane turned her back to the girls and said, "Ready? One... Two... Three..."
Akane launched the bouquet over her shoulder. Kodachi and Shampoo jumped above the girls. Kodachi let loose her ribbon and attempted to snare the bouquet that was nearly in the Amazon's hands. The ribbon missed its target and wrapped itself around Shampoo's arms. This prevented the Amazon from grabbing the bouquet, which landed unmolested into the hands of Kasumi.
"My!" Kasumi said, blushing.
Ranma stated, "Hope Doc gets over his problem soon."
Akane nodded in agreement.
Soun cried yet more tears of joy. "Another daughter shall soon be married."
Shampoo broke free of the ribbon and promptly knocked Kodachi senseless. She returned to her great-grandmother's side. "Sorry. Crazy girl prevented me from winning."
Cologne nodded thoughtfully. "It's all right. The winner of this contest is suppose to be the next person who will be married."
Shampoo blinked. "Then why Great-grandmother want Shampoo to compete?"
"I wanted to know if you were next to be married," Cologne replied simply.
Shampoo pouted. "Oh. Hope Mousse no win. He would get wrong idea."
Ranma shouted, "Okay, guys your turn."
The single guys formed a group in the center. Genma pushed Soun into the group. Mousse and Ryoga flanked the sides and prepared to snare the garter.
Akane sat on a chair that was placed in front of and yet a fair distance from the guys. Ranma knelt down in front of her. She stretched out her leg. He moved his hands teasingly up her leg and under her dress. After a moment as he blindly groped for the garter, she whapped him on the head. "That is not the garter." Many growls were heard from the assembled men.
Ranma quickly found garter after that. He started to pull it off.
Akane stopped him. "You're suppose to take it off with your teeth."
Many more growls were heard from the assembled guys.
Ranma smiled as he nervously as he ducked his head under the dress. Akane momentarily had an odd look on her face and muttered, "I told you that's not the garter." The guys, fortunately, did not hear this.
Ranma ever so slowly pulled the garter down and off her leg with his teeth. Akane leaned toward him and whispered something, which he blushed and nodded in reply. He stood up and kept his back to the guys and said, "Ready? One... Two... Three..." He stretched the garter and shot it over his shoulder like a rubber band.
The mass of males shot forth in attempts to grab it. Kuno, Ryoga, Principal Kuno, Mousse, and Pantyhose all leapt for the garter. A wall exploded and a flash of movement was seen before the dust obscured the group of men. As the dust settled the guys were in a massive pile wrapped in chains. Only one guy was standing. That guy looked at the garter in his hands with a puzzled look. Everyone blinked and looked at the him as he had not been there a moment before. His puzzlement ended when he heard someone call his name.
Kasumi clapped her hands together. "Dr. Tofu! You're back... and you caught the garter!"
Dr. Tofu turned and saw Kasumi holding the bouquet and stammered, "Y-you caught the bouquet?" She nodded and he promptly fainted with a smile on his face.
Akane smirked. "I guess they're destined to be together."
Ranma laughed. "Maybe, but only if he can keep himself in control."
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The guests started to leave after congratulating the newlywed couple. By eleven o'clock only a handful remained. The Saotome family, the Tendo family, and Mousse were cleaning up.
Ms. Hinako was once again in the body of a little girl as she bowed and chirped gleefully, "This was a great wedding, to bad there weren't many fights. I wish you two all the best."
Akane and Ranma replied, "Thanks."
Pantyhose arrived after she left. "So fem-boy decided to settle down."
Akane interjected, "Not really."
Pantyhose laughed. "Good luck on your marriage. Oh, Ranma, I'll be back before I leave for China to beat the crap out of you for old times sake." He turned around and walked into the koi pond. This transformed him into his monstrous cursed form and he flew off.
Ranma looked at Pantyhose as he flew away and muttered, "I hate that jerk."
Principal Kuno approached and said, "You two are excused from school fo' the next two days. But, I expect you to be at school bright and early Thursday."
Akane replied, "Thank you."
Principal Kuno pulled out a stack of papers and then added, "Here is da homework you'll miss, I expect dem to be done Thursday. Oh, an' good luck on the marriage." The principal left them while laughing.
Ranma muttered, "Thanks for nothing, jerk."
A moment passed and then Ms. Hinako returned. "I forgot to give you two your present from the teachers." She proceeded to grab the homework and mark "A" on each the assignments. "Here you go. Enjoy the honeymoon," she giggled.
"Th... thanks," stuttered Ranma.
"Thank you, but you shouldn't have..." Akane said before being interrupted.
"Forget about the homework. You two should have nothing to worry about for the next couple days. Okay?" The child teacher waved her finger at them.
Ranma and Akane nodded in agreement, and Ms. Hinako left for home. After a few more guests congratulated the newlyweds and left, only their families and Mousse remained and they had just finished cleaning.
Nodoka approached them. "Well, it is time for us to go."
Akane chirped, "Go?"
Nodoka nodded. "Since we can't give you two a proper honeymoon, we'll give you run of the house for the next two days. We'll be staying at my house."
Akane blushed. "Thank you. And thanks for the helping with the wedding."
Nodoka smiled tenderly. "It was my pleasure."
Ranma added, "See you in a couple days."
Nodoka hugged Ranma and then Akane.
"Tomorrow, I'll be shopping for a new bed for you two as a wedding present. I was wondering if you wanted just a larger bed or a futon couch?" Nodoka asked.
Ranma and Akane looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.
"I guess the futon would be better. It would give us more room," Akane answered.
Ranma nodded in agreement.
Nodoka nodded as well. "Okay. I'll see you later. Goodbye."
Ranma and Akane replied, "Goodbye."
Mousse approached and said, "I guess it's time to leave. I'll be back Thursday afternoon to start training."
Ranma replied, "Sure."
Akane added, "Thank you for helping."
Mousse bowed. "You're welcome."
Ranma and Akane said their good-byes to their family and were left alone at the house. They shut and locked the house up and went upstairs to what used to be Akane's room, but now was their room. The sign that had been on the door, the duck with Akane's name on it, had been removed and replaced with a new sign shaped in the Yin-Yang symbol with both their names written on it.
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Author's Note:
Special thanks to Mark Premo for the suggestion of changing the scene where "Let no man, etc.... put asunder" by having it interrupted at each point.
And thank you David Tatum and Rea Konecki for helping with the original version of this chapter.
Soul of Ice - This is part of the Hiryu Shoten Ha technique, in which you suppress emotional reactions to maintain a cold aura and to be able to run in a spiral while being attacked.
Dragon Hair/Bald Men - A cure for baldness is to eat Dragon hair. There is a group of bald men that want to get the hair by any means.
Volume 1 - Trapped
Chapter 5 - Meet Mr. and Mrs. Saotome.
By: Lord Archive
Characters are own Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.
This series was originally written in 1997, long before ffnet existed. This is one of my first fanfictions. Some edits have been made to improve readability, but it remains as an example of early Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. When this was being written, elements of this story weren't cliched, it was creating the cliches. While this remains as one of my more popular Ranma 1/2 series, it is not without it's faults as I was new to writing stories and a complete translation of Ranma 1/2 manga had yet to appear in America when this was originally written more than fifteen years ago.
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Ranma and Nabiki made their way into the dojo. It was packed. There were so many people there, that some of the guests could not get seats. Ranma wondered how some of them even got there. He didn't remember greeting Pantyhose Tarou nor the Gambler King at the gate. He didn't even remember inviting them. He nervously made his way up to the minister. He saw that Nabiki was greeting some of the guests, the ones most likely to cause trouble and handed each of them a card.
Each of the recipients looked rather upset as they read the cards, as each card offered a personalized threat of what would happen if they stopped the wedding. After the final card was delivered, Nabiki signaled Genma to start playing the wedding march on the rented sound system.
Ranma thought that this was it. He took a deep breath. He needed to be calm as he didn't want to screw this up. He tried to gain the 'soul of ice' he gained from his Hiryu Shuten Ha training.
The guests turned toward the dojo door as it slid open. Standing at the entrance way were Mousse and Akari, who started to walk towards him. Ryoga and Ukyou followed them. Finally, Soun and Akane walked down the isle.
Ranma's eyes lost focus on everything but Akane. His only coherent thought during the time it took Akane to walk across the dojo was how cute she looked. He barely registered the minister's words at the start of the ceremony.
The minister began, "Who is it that gives away the bride?"
Soun bowed slightly. His voice was unusually calm, "I do."
The minister continued, "We are gathered here today, to witness this man and this woman join in the bonds of holy matrimony. Brought together by kami, love, and... an arrangement by meddling fathers?"
Ranma registered this phrase and looked at the minister with bewilderment. Akane giggled and whispered to Ranma, "Nabiki added some special touches."
Ranma sighed and attempted to regain control and have a 'soul of ice.'
Akane was thankful that Nabiki added those special touches. Akane felt that was just what she needed something to help keep her from becoming too nervous and make some kind of mistake.
The minister shook his head and said, "Let no man..."
A man interrupted, "I am Draco, a prince of an ancient kingdom, and I have come to wed this woman of great power." He finished his statement by pointing at Akane, and the guests gasped in shock. Ranma responded with chi blast that sent Draco out the door and knocked him out cold.
Minister continued nervously, "...woman..."
A woman's voice interrupted, "I can not allow this wedding to take place, for I am promised to Ranma by an arrangement made by my father and Saotome Genma."
To which Genma began to sweat nervously while Ranma, Akane, and many of the guests scowled at him. Nodoka touched the hilt of her katana.
Ukyou growled angrily. "Sit down, shut up, and join the Ranma ex-fiancee club. You're member number four or five."
Woman asked, "And you are?"
Ukyou replied, "Ukyou, member number 2, I think."
Woman asked, "The engagement is off?"
Ranma intoned, "Yes."
Woman sighed and said, "Oh good. I didn't want to get married anyway." She turned and walked off.
The minister, becoming very nervous, squeaked, "...beast..."
A dragon stuck his head and some of his neck through the door frame and said, "Ah, there is a lot of fresh meat here." Most of the guests shook in fright.
Before the dragon could strike, a group of old bald guys shouted, "Get it! It's a dragon with hair!"
The dragon looked at the old men and screeched, "Oh no! Not them." The dragon flew off, chased by the bald men. Some of the late arrivals sat down at the seats the old men previously sat at.
The minister began to shake and gasped out, "...demon..."
A monstrous black demon climbed out of a hole that opened in the middle of the dojo and yelled, "Your souls shall be mine!"
Kuno attacked it with a glowing sword that formed in his hand at the appearance of the demon, and announced, "By honor and by rights, I, Kuno Tatewaki, must uphold the family duty to cleanse this world of all demons." That said, Kuno word split the demon into two pieces. The demon and sword disappeared. Everyone stared at him in shock.
The minister was very pale and muttered, "...nor any other living..."
A small girl bounded into the dojo and shouted, "Marie, give Marie back to Azusa!" She pulled on Ranma's suit and then noticed Ryoga and screeched, "Charlotte!"
Ryoga grabbed the girl and booted her out of the dojo.
Minister was white as a ghost and stammered, "...or unliving being..."
A gray humanoid phantom creature appeared next to Ranma, and Gosunkugi whispered, "Kill him."
Akane saw it and punched at the phantom but screamed in pain as she connected.
Gosunkugi, horrified at her scream, dispelled his first true attempt at magic.
Most of the guests were in state of shock and bewilderment. Ranma held Akane's hand, but she took it away and said, "I'm fine." She rubbed her hand and turned to the minister and said, "You may continue."
"...put asunder the bonds that tie these two together," the minister continued nervously while wondering what the hell was going on. That some of the guests were completely unfazed did not escape him. None of this should be possible. The lines, it must be the lines. This would be the last time he would ever allow personalized ceremonial vows. He proceeded to forget what just happened. "Saotome Ranma, do you take Tendo Akane to be your lawfully wedded wife. Through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, to save her from KIDNAPPINGS?... ahh, until death do you part?"
"I do," Ranma replied with a grin.
Ranma's grin quickly turned into a look of shock and then anger when he heard Ryoga say the words as well from behind him. He turned and scowled at his 'best man,' while Akane and Akari gave Ryoga the evil eye. The guests that had not lost their mind yet looked either disgusted, angry, or confused.
Ryoga shrank back, meekly saying, "I'm sorry! I'm very sorry!"
The poor minister wanted to get this over with quickly so he could get to the sake. So, he resumed the ceremony before everyone could settle back down.
The minister turned to Akane and said, "Tendo Akane, do you take Saotome Ranma to be your lawfully wedded husband. Through sickness and in heath, for richer and for poorer, as a man and... a... WOMAN?... eh... until death do you part?"
Akane giggled, "I do."
Ranma scowled at Nabiki. The guests were completely confused, numb and/or shocked at proceedings. If anyone had looked at Ukyou, they would notice that she mouthed out, "I do."
The minister hoped they had a LOT of sake for the reception. He then told them, "It is time to present the rings."
Ryoga got the ring from Mousse and then handed it to Ranma, and Ukyou took the ring from Akari and handed it to Akane. Ranma and Akane held out the rings.
Minister spoke, "May the powers that be bless these symbols of the love these two share, forever showing the bond between them." The minister turned toward Ranma and said, "Place the ring on her finger and repeat after me. With this ring I thee wed."
Ranma, finally gaining the 'soul of ice,' responded, "With this ring, I thee wed."
The minister continued, "To love, to cherish, and to encourage without insult, from this day forth."
"To love, to cherish, and to encourage without insult, from this day forth." Ranma rather meekly said with the 'without insult' part as he gently pushed the ring up Akane's finger.
Minister thought that change was at least somewhat normal. He then turned toward Akane and said, "Place the ring on his finger and repeat after me. With this ring I thee wed."
Akane's voice cracked as she said, "With this ring I thee wed."
"To love, to honor, and to listen to him before bludgeoning, from this day forth," continued the minister.
"To love, to honor, and to listen to him before bludgeoning, from this day forth," Akane said with a similar note of meekness with her part of the changed vow.
The minister believed ignoring it would make him happier. He then said, "If there is any one here who has reason for these two people not to be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."
The minister looked up from the reading the customized wedding vows. He emitted a surprised squeak as he noticed Ranma glowing with a battle aura with a look that said, "You speak, you die."
Akane didn't notice as she cast a similar gaze to the guests that said, "Don't you dare." The guests were either confused, scared, or unmoved.
The minister announced nervously, "Ahh, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Ranma leaned forward and kissed Akane for what seemed an eternity.
Minister finished, "It is my, ahh, pleasure to present Mr. and Mrs. Saotome. All right, where is the sake? I need a drink." Those guests that retained some of their mind cheered.
Ranma and Akane finally ended their kiss. They let out a mental cheer of success at the same time as they stared into each other's face.
Nabiki cheered, "All right, Sis! Now hold that pose. We need to get a lot of wedding photos."
With the ceremony over, the guests began to recover from the unusual proceedings. Ranma and Akane posed for several photos with and without the other members of the bridal party and/or guests as various family and friends burned through rolls of film.
Nabiki asked, "All right let's get a couple photos of you two kissing."
They started to kiss again. Nabiki took only a couple photos before she pulled out a water gun from hiding and shot Ranma in the back of the head. Several guests were shocked to see Ranma shrink and turn into a girl. Many of them just lost their mind completely. The groom-turned-pseudo-bride apparently did not notice until she heard a commotion from the guests.
Akane's grandmother screeched, "What is going on here?"
Various students of Furinkan High cheered.
Kodachi stammered, "Where did Ranma go?"
Kuno replied, "The pig-tailed girl is the vile deceiver, Saotome Ranma."
Kodachi asked in shock, "What? How can this be?"
Mikado was also in shock asked, "You don't mean that she is really a guy?"
Kuno replied to Mikado, "That is precisely what I mean."
"Eh... Excuse me." A green hue covered Mikado's face, as he got up and ran out the dojo.
Minister shouted, "Dear God! Where is that sake!?"
Akane's grandfather nodded in agreement. "Let me join you." A number of guests, even some of whom don't drink, followed them in search of a good strong drink.
Ranma broke off from his kiss as he suddenly realized he was now a she. She felt the water in her hair and turned to see that Nabiki was the culprit. "What ya do that for!?" She moved toward Nabiki, but was held back by her collar by her wife.
"Relax Ranma," Akane advised. "It wouldn't hurt to get a couple photos of you in that form."
Ranma tried to relax a bit, for her wife, and started to straighten out her suit. She noticed that her wedding ring no longer fit, and put it in her pocket.
Akane noticed that several of the guests looked at Ranma in shock and horror. She began to giggle nervously, "Oh... Um... This is still Ranma. He was cursed in China to turn into a girl when splashed with cold water. He'll turn back with hot water." This relaxed some of the guests, but she could tell they were very uneasy.
Ranma said, "We'll get someone to explain this. Can we get the photos done with?"
Several more photos were taken, some with the wedding party. Then another spray of water came from the guests. This time it hit Ryoga. Everyone gasped in amazement either at the best man made best pig or the person with the water gun.
Akane gasped, "Kasumi!?"
Kasumi said meekly, "Sorry, I just wanted to do that for such a long time."
Ranma asked, "Why didn't you?"
Kasumi replied, "I promised father I wouldn't tell."
Soun cried, "She's going to kill me!"
Akane cried out in an upset tone, "Was I the only one who didn't know? Why didn't someone tell me?"
Kasumi answered, "Because father saw him as a means to see how much Ranma cared for you. If Ranma was jealous of P-Chan, all was well. If not, he had to come up with a plan to get you together again. I did not agree with it, but I had promised."
Akari glared at her boyfriend knowing she would have to talk with that swine.
Nodoka thought she had known everything, yet now had to wonder how much more of this mess was out there.
Akane stared evilly at her father, but eased up at her husband's touch.
"We should take some pictures with P-Chan," Ranma pointed out, picking up P-Chan and handed him to her wife and as they posed for a couple more shots.
Ranma then asked, "Have enough pictures yet?"
Nabiki replied, "I guess."
Gosunkugi asked, "Um, could I get one of you two kissing... as you are now?"
Ranma and Akane glared at him.
"Come on, it'll be the last photo," Nabiki encouraged.
Akane pouted at her sister and then let out a sigh. "I guess."
Ranma grumbled under her breathe, knowing that if Nabiki wants the photo, she would get the photo, no matter how much it would hurt. Besides, she didn't really mind kissing her wife.
The newlyweds kissed once again, but for the first time, starting it when they were both girls. She felt a little self-conscious at first but soon went into a passionate kiss as she noticed Akane had no apprehensions about it.
"You really don't mind the curse, do you?" Ranma asked.
Akane whispered, "Nope. I fell in love with you, not your body. Besides, it means we can have lots more fun later." She gave him a wink.
Ranma stood there slack jawed.
"Nabiki, why don't you start explaining... about this?" Akane requested.
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Nabiki began to tell the tale of how Ranma got cursed, but to the newlyweds' displeasure several of the guests proceeded to relate several of the events of the past year and a half. Most of the guests remained behind to hear about the interesting life they led.
The newlyweds were led to the dining room of the Tendo home. While Akari took Ryoga to the bath so he could change back, Ranma used a teakettle to changed back.
The newlyweds watched Kasumi set up a table with food for the reception when the minister led a few of the guests to them with the celebratory sake in tow. Sheepishly, Ranma and Akane cracked open the case to start the reception so the guests could start to drink.
Tables and chairs had been set up outside. All those involved in preparing the wedding thanked to the powers that be for the unusually warm and pleasant weather.
"This day seems so perfect," Ranma commented.
Akane smiled. "Yes, it seems like some higher being planned on us being married today."
"Yeah, well I thought the wedding would have more problems, especially with so many uninvited guests."
"More problems?" Akane screeched.
"Yeah. Everything that showed up only lasted a couple seconds," Ranma almost complained.
"Anything worse and the wedding might have been stopped," Akane retorted with a tinge of anger.
"Maybe I just wanted to protect Tendo Akane a bit more. After all I've got a lifetime to protect Saotome Akane," Ranma told her with a grin.
Akane, moved by Ranma's words, gave him that smile that always melted his heart and she started to kiss him passionately.
They broke it off when they heard someone clear their throat. Cologne and Shampoo stood before them.
Cologne bowed politely. "Congratulations Akane, you've won a very difficult battle for Ranma's heart."
"Um, thanks." Akane replied nervously.
"For this victory, I feel you have earned the right to be an honorary member of the Amazon tribe," Cologne announced.
Shampoo screamed out, "NO! Akane deserves no such honor. Great-grandmother only to make violent girl Amazon to save face."
Cologne scowled at the girl. "Now, calm down granddaughter, you know Akane has shown Amazon spirit in the past. It is only fitting that the one who married Ranma be an Amazon if not blood, then in name."
Shampoo only nodded her head in reply.
Cologne turned toward the newlywed girl. "Welcome to the Amazon tribe, Akane."
Akane stuttered, "I... I... don't know what to say."
Ranma asked, "This isn't going to come back and haunt us. Will it?"
"The only thing that will be asked of Akane is that she tries to live by our laws and if the Amazon tribe is in trouble, she will come and help," Cologne replied.
Akane frowned. "I don't know about following the laws, but if you need help, I'll be there."
Ranma corrected, "No. We'll be there."
Cologne smiled a devilish grin. "That is all I could really ask for. Thank you." She bowed to the couple.
Shampoo had to asked, "How? How did violent girl steal husband's heart? I love Ranma. I would make better wife than violent girl. Why Ranma marry violent girl and not me?"
Akane was at loss of words.
Ranma answered, "Shampoo, the reason why I married Akane is because I... love her."
Shampoo retorted, "But Ranma love Shampoo!"
Ranma shook his head. "I don't love you. I like you as a friend, but I do not love you. Do you understand?"
Shampoo pouted at him. "No. I no understand, but will accept. If Ranma love pervert girl more than me... Ranma should have pervert girl."
"Shampoo... ahh... I would like us all to be friends," Akane offered.
"I no know if can be friends.... I will try. Congratulations, I hope Ranma and Akane happy." Shampoo turned away stiffly.
"Thanks," responded the newlyweds.
Shampoo then added, "But if no make Ranma happy, I will make pervert girl pay!"
"I'll do my best to make him happy. You have my word on that," Akane promised.
"Ranma, one more thing. Can I see your wedding ring?" Cologne asked.
"Why?" Ranma asked suspiciously.
Cologne pulled out a bottle filled with some sort of liquid. "I brought with me a magic oil that will allow it to change its size when you switch forms.”
"Um, okay." Ranma wasn't sure to trust Cologne, but Mousse had said they couldn't do anything anymore.
Ranma handed Cologne the ring, and she put it inside a flask. She then shook it. After that, she carefully removed the ring and cleaned it. The elder Amazon then handed the ring back to Ranma. Akane took the ring and slipped it back onto his finger.
"Thanks. Hopefully it'll work," Ranma said.
"Your welcome," Cologne replied.
The Amazons bowed to the couple and returned to the dojo.
A moment later, Ranma's grandparents arrived, followed by Nodoka with her hand on her katana.
Ranma's grandfather began nervously, "Ah... Congratulations. Wish we could stay longer, but we, ah, need to be somewhere else." He cast a worried glance toward Nodoka.
Ranma's grandmother bowed and added, "Congratulation. I wish you all the best. I would like you to consider teaching your children in the family art."
Nodoka replied, "They will teach them the family art of Anything Goes Martial Arts."
Ranma nodded. "Yes."
Nodoka pointedly announced, "It is too bad you have to leave, NOW. Let me show you the way out."
Ranma's grandparents nervously nodded and left with Nodoka.
Akane asked, "What was that about?"
Ranma nervously said, "Um... They practice the art of, um... thievery."
Akane rolled her eyes. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"
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Akari sat in the changing room of the bath and waited for Ryoga to finish getting dress. He finally finished with the exception of the bow tie.
"Now would you care to explain why you said 'I do' during the wedding?" Akari demanded.
Ryoga stuttered, "It's, ah, well, ah... I..."
Akari chided, "You love her, don't you?"
Ryoga could only nod, while his girlfriend fumed. "I'm sorry. I haven't gotten over how I feel about her. I want to put that behind me, but I can't. Part of me will always want to be with her. But I want to be with you now. Please forgive me."
"You're not using me to try and forget her, are you?" Akari accused.
Ryoga waved his hands in denial. "No. I wouldn't do that. When you came into my life I still thought I had a chance with Akane. I was torn between you two, I couldn't decide. I felt drawn to you because you accepted me for who I was, curses and all. Because of you, I could finally realize that Ranma and Akane belong together."
"Are you with me only because I accept you as a pig?" Akari questioned.
"No. I'm with you because you're kind, caring, nice, cute, and understanding. I want us to be together. Please forgive me." Ryoga bowed his head.
"I... I forgive you. Now let's go back, my cute little pig." Akari finished with a grin, but Ryoga wondered if all was truly forgiven.
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Ukyou ran out of the dojo, followed by Konatsu. They ran past Ranma and Akane and went upstairs. The young chef went into Nabiki's room and locked the door behind her.
Konatsu asked, "Are you all right?"
Ukyou replied, "No. I can't take much more of this. I... I want to go home."
"Okay, we'll go home now," Konatsu agreed.
"We'll leave as soon as I get out of this damn dress!" Ukyou screamed.
Akane and Ranma arrived upstairs. Konatsu answered the worried looks of the newlyweds with his own.
Ranma asked, "What's wrong?"
Konatsu replied, "Today has been too much for her. We'll be leaving as soon as she finished changing."
Ranma asked, "Ucchan are you okay?"
Ukyou exited Nabiki's room, her tux had been put on in haste. "I'm not okay Ranma, and please call me Ukyou for now. That other name reminds me of too much."
Ranma flinched. "If that's what you want."
"It is. I... I've got to go." Tears weld up into Ukyou's eyes before she ran out of the Tendo home, Konatsu following closely behind.
Akane whispered, "I hope she'll be all right."
Ranma added, "I hope so too."
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A couple hours passed as the guests listened to the stories of some of the events that occurred in the past year and a half. Ranma and Akane recovered a little from their encounter with Ukyou. During this time some of the guests congratulated the newlyweds. After the stories were told the guests proceeded to make for the food, and the dojo was converted into a dance hall. The minister had been sent home, completely drunk.
Once the starving guests had decimated the food table, they either went to the dojo to dance or stayed at the tables outside to talk.
The first dance went to Ranma and Akane. The guests watched as they swayed to the music. They were not actually dancing, as neither of them knew how, so they tried to fake it. The guests started to join in the dancing. First among those on the dance floor were Nodoka and Genma, Ryoga and Akari, and Mikado and Kodachi. It wasn't long before the newlyweds retreated to the dining room.
Mousse nervously approached Shampoo and asked, "Shampoo, my love. May I have the pleasure of this dance?"
"I believe that is Shampoo," Yuka replied, giggled while she pointed at the purple-haired amazon.
Mousse pulled his glasses to his eyes. "Sorry." He went over to Shampoo, now actually wearing his glasses, and asked, "My love. May I have the pleasure of this dance?"
Shampoo screamed her reply, "NO! I will not dance with blind duck-boy. I would rather be killed by dog!"
Mousse pleaded, "But my love, I am training under Ranma so that I can earn the right to be your husband."
Shampoo yelled, "You have no right to be my husband. Right belongs to man who defeats me in battle. And you are no man!"
Mousse stated, "I shall prove myself to you."
Shampoo continued her rant, "No way can duck prove he man. Duck only good for being dinner. Annoy me anymore, I cook you." She then grabbed Mousse and threw him through the dojo wall and into the koi pond. She glared at two guys who watched the one sided argument and demanded, "What boys looking at?"
Hiroshi and Daisuke replied, "Oh... nothing."
"Quack. Quack," was heard from the pond.
Chibi-Ms. Hinako grinned, pulling out a five yen coin. "Now that is not the way for a guest to behave at a wedding. Happo Go-en Shatsu."
Shampoo's chi was drained into Ms. Hinako. Her body went from that of a ten-year-old to her beautiful, buxom adult form while Shampoo blew into the wall as if she were a paper doll. Several guys started to fight to ask the teacher to dance.
Ms. Hinako had other ideas and walked up to Soun. "Greetings Mr. Tendo, I wonder if you would allow me the pleasure of this dance?"
Soun stuttered, "Su... Sure."
Nabiki looked at her with disgust. The guys who had been fighting started to cry.
----
Pantyhose looked at Shampoo and said aloud to himself, "Great, now I really have to avoid fighting her."
Cologne responded to Pantyhose anyway, "Why? She is a rather beautiful young woman, and a great fighter. Also, it would not matter what your name is."
Pantyhose glared at Cologne. "I'd rather marry fem-boy than her." If he took out an Amazon, his name would not be a problem. Maybe he should pay a visit to an Amazon village. He could just forget about it and wait for an opportunity to beat the crap out of Happosai and get him to change his name, or, for fun, he could trash Ranma again.
----
Dr. Tofu did not notice anything. He was busy as he tried to build up enough courage and self-control to ask Kasumi to dance.
Kasumi approached and greeted, "Hello, Dr. Tofu."
Dr. Tofu stuttered, "Ka... Kasumi... ah, hi. Nice day isn't it."
Kasumi replied, "Oh my, yes. A perfect day for a wedding."
Dr. Tofu's glasses started to get covered by steam. "Kasumi... would you... ah, like to... ah..." he attempted to say as he tentatively stretched out his hand toward the dance floor.
Kasumi took the hint. "Dance? I'd love to." She promptly led the nervous doctor to the dance floor and found herself having to guide his movements. The entire time Dr. Tofu barely remained in control, while she smiled. Regretfully the song came to an end. "Thank you for the dance."
"You... You're welcomed." Dr. Tofu began to giggle like a little child as his control snapped. He began to dance away merrily, shouting, "She danced with me! She danced with me!" The young doctor continued his dance of joy through the dojo wall, over the wall fence, and into streets.
Kasumi frowned at the sight. "And he was doing so well."
-----------------------
As the evening progressed, many of the guests grew tired and were preparing to leave. Soun decided now was the time to give Ranma and Akane their wedding present. He got all the guests into the dojo and then brought the newlyweds in.
Soun shouted, "May I please have your attention?"
The guests quieted down.
Soun began to speak, "This day has been a long time coming. An arrangement, that was made nearly twenty years ago, for the purpose of joining the Tendo clan and the Saotome clan, has finally happened on this joyful day." He then began to cry tears of joy.
Genma continued the speech, "Now that Ranma and Akane are married, they shall carry on the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, as shall their children."
Soun regained his composure and then continued, "As the heirs to our illustrious school of martial arts, it is my pleasure to give them the Tendo dojo and home."
Genma removed a sheet to reveal two signs. One stated Saotome Dojo, and the other Saotome. Ranma, Akane, and many of the guests were stunned. Soun returned to cry for joy.
Ranma final spoke, "The house is ours?!"
Genma replied, "Yes."
Ranma and Akane could not grasp the idea. The dojo and the house belonged to them.
Nabiki added, "And don't worry too much about the expenses. Along with the house comes a small amount of money and some stocks in Nerima Construction Industries. That should be enough to handle most of your expenses for at least a couple years. Of course you realize that it's our turn to freeload off you, Ranma."
Ranma regained a few of his faculties and saw an opportunity to get at Nabiki and joked, "Ah... Mr. Tendo and Pop can freeload, Kasumi and Mom do more than enough house work to earn their place, but you, what do you offer?"
Nabiki retorted, "Well, the meager amount daddy is giving you should last two years, if you're in control, two months. Let me handle it, and you might never have to work."
Ranma stuttered, "Um... right. Money advice." Eager to change subjects, he stated, "I guess we should throw the bouquet and garter now."
A few of the guests cheered their approval. Genma moved the signs out of the way.
Akane shouted, "All right. Girls first. All you single girls get into the middle of the dojo."
Shampoo inquired, "What's going on?"
Cologne answered, "It's an odd western contest. I want you to win this."
Shampoo nodded and joined the mass of girls.
Akane turned her back to the girls and said, "Ready? One... Two... Three..."
Akane launched the bouquet over her shoulder. Kodachi and Shampoo jumped above the girls. Kodachi let loose her ribbon and attempted to snare the bouquet that was nearly in the Amazon's hands. The ribbon missed its target and wrapped itself around Shampoo's arms. This prevented the Amazon from grabbing the bouquet, which landed unmolested into the hands of Kasumi.
"My!" Kasumi said, blushing.
Ranma stated, "Hope Doc gets over his problem soon."
Akane nodded in agreement.
Soun cried yet more tears of joy. "Another daughter shall soon be married."
Shampoo broke free of the ribbon and promptly knocked Kodachi senseless. She returned to her great-grandmother's side. "Sorry. Crazy girl prevented me from winning."
Cologne nodded thoughtfully. "It's all right. The winner of this contest is suppose to be the next person who will be married."
Shampoo blinked. "Then why Great-grandmother want Shampoo to compete?"
"I wanted to know if you were next to be married," Cologne replied simply.
Shampoo pouted. "Oh. Hope Mousse no win. He would get wrong idea."
Ranma shouted, "Okay, guys your turn."
The single guys formed a group in the center. Genma pushed Soun into the group. Mousse and Ryoga flanked the sides and prepared to snare the garter.
Akane sat on a chair that was placed in front of and yet a fair distance from the guys. Ranma knelt down in front of her. She stretched out her leg. He moved his hands teasingly up her leg and under her dress. After a moment as he blindly groped for the garter, she whapped him on the head. "That is not the garter." Many growls were heard from the assembled men.
Ranma quickly found garter after that. He started to pull it off.
Akane stopped him. "You're suppose to take it off with your teeth."
Many more growls were heard from the assembled guys.
Ranma smiled as he nervously as he ducked his head under the dress. Akane momentarily had an odd look on her face and muttered, "I told you that's not the garter." The guys, fortunately, did not hear this.
Ranma ever so slowly pulled the garter down and off her leg with his teeth. Akane leaned toward him and whispered something, which he blushed and nodded in reply. He stood up and kept his back to the guys and said, "Ready? One... Two... Three..." He stretched the garter and shot it over his shoulder like a rubber band.
The mass of males shot forth in attempts to grab it. Kuno, Ryoga, Principal Kuno, Mousse, and Pantyhose all leapt for the garter. A wall exploded and a flash of movement was seen before the dust obscured the group of men. As the dust settled the guys were in a massive pile wrapped in chains. Only one guy was standing. That guy looked at the garter in his hands with a puzzled look. Everyone blinked and looked at the him as he had not been there a moment before. His puzzlement ended when he heard someone call his name.
Kasumi clapped her hands together. "Dr. Tofu! You're back... and you caught the garter!"
Dr. Tofu turned and saw Kasumi holding the bouquet and stammered, "Y-you caught the bouquet?" She nodded and he promptly fainted with a smile on his face.
Akane smirked. "I guess they're destined to be together."
Ranma laughed. "Maybe, but only if he can keep himself in control."
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The guests started to leave after congratulating the newlywed couple. By eleven o'clock only a handful remained. The Saotome family, the Tendo family, and Mousse were cleaning up.
Ms. Hinako was once again in the body of a little girl as she bowed and chirped gleefully, "This was a great wedding, to bad there weren't many fights. I wish you two all the best."
Akane and Ranma replied, "Thanks."
Pantyhose arrived after she left. "So fem-boy decided to settle down."
Akane interjected, "Not really."
Pantyhose laughed. "Good luck on your marriage. Oh, Ranma, I'll be back before I leave for China to beat the crap out of you for old times sake." He turned around and walked into the koi pond. This transformed him into his monstrous cursed form and he flew off.
Ranma looked at Pantyhose as he flew away and muttered, "I hate that jerk."
Principal Kuno approached and said, "You two are excused from school fo' the next two days. But, I expect you to be at school bright and early Thursday."
Akane replied, "Thank you."
Principal Kuno pulled out a stack of papers and then added, "Here is da homework you'll miss, I expect dem to be done Thursday. Oh, an' good luck on the marriage." The principal left them while laughing.
Ranma muttered, "Thanks for nothing, jerk."
A moment passed and then Ms. Hinako returned. "I forgot to give you two your present from the teachers." She proceeded to grab the homework and mark "A" on each the assignments. "Here you go. Enjoy the honeymoon," she giggled.
"Th... thanks," stuttered Ranma.
"Thank you, but you shouldn't have..." Akane said before being interrupted.
"Forget about the homework. You two should have nothing to worry about for the next couple days. Okay?" The child teacher waved her finger at them.
Ranma and Akane nodded in agreement, and Ms. Hinako left for home. After a few more guests congratulated the newlyweds and left, only their families and Mousse remained and they had just finished cleaning.
Nodoka approached them. "Well, it is time for us to go."
Akane chirped, "Go?"
Nodoka nodded. "Since we can't give you two a proper honeymoon, we'll give you run of the house for the next two days. We'll be staying at my house."
Akane blushed. "Thank you. And thanks for the helping with the wedding."
Nodoka smiled tenderly. "It was my pleasure."
Ranma added, "See you in a couple days."
Nodoka hugged Ranma and then Akane.
"Tomorrow, I'll be shopping for a new bed for you two as a wedding present. I was wondering if you wanted just a larger bed or a futon couch?" Nodoka asked.
Ranma and Akane looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.
"I guess the futon would be better. It would give us more room," Akane answered.
Ranma nodded in agreement.
Nodoka nodded as well. "Okay. I'll see you later. Goodbye."
Ranma and Akane replied, "Goodbye."
Mousse approached and said, "I guess it's time to leave. I'll be back Thursday afternoon to start training."
Ranma replied, "Sure."
Akane added, "Thank you for helping."
Mousse bowed. "You're welcome."
Ranma and Akane said their good-byes to their family and were left alone at the house. They shut and locked the house up and went upstairs to what used to be Akane's room, but now was their room. The sign that had been on the door, the duck with Akane's name on it, had been removed and replaced with a new sign shaped in the Yin-Yang symbol with both their names written on it.
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Author's Note:
Special thanks to Mark Premo for the suggestion of changing the scene where "Let no man, etc.... put asunder" by having it interrupted at each point.
And thank you David Tatum and Rea Konecki for helping with the original version of this chapter.
Soul of Ice - This is part of the Hiryu Shoten Ha technique, in which you suppress emotional reactions to maintain a cold aura and to be able to run in a spiral while being attacked.
Dragon Hair/Bald Men - A cure for baldness is to eat Dragon hair. There is a group of bald men that want to get the hair by any means.