Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ The Insanity Continues ❯ Martial Arts Press Conference ( Chapter 9 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Ranma 1/2: The Insanity Continues

Volume 2 - Reflections and Changes

Chapter 2 - Martial Arts Press Conference

By: Lord Archive.

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

Regarding the appearance of female Ranma: Originally it was due to naughty stuff going on in the dojo, a martial arts sex challenge with both of them girls. Which is part of my reason why I don't want to repost those adult side stories as it would be too soon for Akane to make that kind of challenge. How I see it now was Ranma and Akane had intended to take a break from love making by practicing marital arts by having a sparring match. Ranma being weaker in female form used that body to reduce risk of hurting Akane or the baby. Considering Ranma would be extra protective, instead of Akane getting punched, she was completely molested instead with Ranma remaining largely untouched the entire time. Saying they made love as girls would only be half true.

Regarding the Nodoka scene suggesting mistresses: That was the new scene, and no, I'm not responsible for that interpretation of her character. The cliche I was referring to is Nodoka-super-mom, who can whisk away all trouble with a motherly look. The problem with super-mom Nodoka ignores one basic thing: she's as insane as the rest of the cast.

Nodoka has crazy views of what would be manly, and in a country where the noble clans and the wealthy have a long history of having mistresses, it is NOT a stretch in her traditional Japanese nature that she would find mistresses an acceptable part of life, even for her husband. He was away for over ten years, after all. Nodoka's biggest concern would be that Genma would 'cheat' on her by actually being in love with another woman, as sex without love is not 'cheating.' Western cultures view both very much as cheating, but this story takes place in a traditional home in Tokyo, not the suburbs of New York or London. Different cultures, different views on life, sex, love, marriage, comedy, food, etc... And what characterization we have of her beyond her strange notions of manliness does follow a traditional role of women as home tenders (her attempts to make 'Ranko' be less of a tomboy) and being subservient to men (staying at home waiting over ten years for Genma and Ranma to return). If Nodoka was adverse to the idea of mistresses, wouldn't she have done something about Ukyou, Shampoo and Kodachi once she learned they were interfering in the proper engagement of Ranma and Akane? She did not protest, she did not try to correct the girls, she merely thought Ranma was manly for attracting so many beautiful girls. Nodoka was not raised in America or Europe, she was raised in Japan. By her very upbringing her ideas will reflect her culture. You may think it goes too far, you may think I didn't go far enough by not having Nodoka suggest being mistresses to the girls right then and there, and that is your right. Ranma 1/2 is a rich series that has been read by millions, and not everyone will have the same interpretations.

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>BRING<
>BRING<
>BRING<

Akane lifted her head from her pillow. "Huh?"

>BRING<

Akane tried to bury her head into her pillow. "Phone. Ranma, can you get that?"

>BRING<

Akane reluctantly looked at her husband and saw that he was dead asleep. She shook him in an attempt to wake him.

>BRING<

He hugged her tightly.

Akane tried to free herself. "Stupid idiot! At least let go of me."

>BRING<

Whoever was calling was persistent. "I have to get the phone," Akane muttered as she tried to remove Ranma's arms from her.

>BRING<

"Guess I have to go with what works." Akane knocked him off the bed. With his arms still holding her, he brought her down to the floor with him.

>BRING<

They landed with a thud and his arms let go.

>BRING<

Akane leapt to her feet and ran to the phone.

>BRING<
>BRING<

"Hello? Tendo residence." Akane said, after picking up the phone.

"About time you answered the phone, Sis," Nabiki answered from the other end of the line. "And that should be Saotome residence now."

Akane pouted. "Nabiki, why are you calling?"

"Two reasons: First, if you set your alarm last night, you would be up right now," Nabiki teased.

Akane looked at a clock. It was a quarter to eight. She wasn't pleased, they were already running late for school.

"Second, I wanted to know how you planned to deal with the rumor horde," Nabiki wondered.

"Um, haven't thought about them," Akane replied with a sense of dread.

"You know you're going to have to deal with them, otherwise, they'll come up with some of their own twisted rumors about what's happened," Nabiki taunted.

Akane really didn't like the question she was about to ask, "So, what do you suggest?"

"I suggest you two lovebirds hold a question and answer session after school today. I can go to school now and set it up so they won't pester you two with question until then," Nabiki answered.

Akane sighed. "It would help, I guess."

"Great, I'll make sure everything is set up. By the way, Kasumi should be back before you get home from school while your parents will be staying at Auntie's house. They'll be alternating between staying there and here. I'll see you at school. Bye." Nabiki quickly hung up the phone.

"Bye," Akane reflexively replied before hanging up the phone as well. She sighed, not surprised that they would come up with that kind of arrangement. She expected their parents would stay away for the next month or so. But, when the baby comes closer to being due, she wouldn't be able to get rid of them.

Akane rushed back into her room and found her husband was still asleep on the floor.

"Wake up!" she yelled, kicking him in the side.

Ranma rolled over and snored a little.

Akane grinned as she got an idea. "Maybe a kiss will wake the Stupid Prince."

She knelt next to him, leaned forward and kissed him. He responded by wrapping his arms around her and returning the kiss passionately.

Akane broke away and smiled at him. "Good morning."

It was only now that Ranma noticed he was on the floor. "Huh? What am I doing here?"

"You fell off the bed when I went to get the phone," Akane explained.

"Oh," he replied, looking a little confused. He didn't remember any phone ringing. Then he looked up at Akane and felt he had better things to do than worry about some phone call. He moved in for another kiss.

"Sorry." Akane held him away with a hand to his chest. "It's already almost eight o'clock, too late for that. We have to get ready for school... and you know if I start kissing you, I'm not going to stop for quite a while..."

"Can't we skip school?" Ranma asked, disappointed.

"And face whatever punishment Principal Kuno would have for us?" Akane warned.

Ranma sighed. "Uh... It probably would be bad. I guess not..."

Akane nodded. "Okay, now let go of me so we can get ready."

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The cold rain of winter fell upon the students of Furinkan High as they made there way to school.

"You understand the plan?" asked a chemistry club member.

"Tis truly a simple plan for revenge against such a foul person as Saotome, that I, Kuno Tatewaki, can do nothing other than execute the plan without flaw!" He turned upon the student. "If it fails, however, you shall face my wrath!"

The student shrugged, how could it possibly go wrong? "Yeah, just lure Ranma to the sidewalk slab in front of you and the landmine will do the rest."

"I know what to do," Kuno said angrily.

"Here he comes!" shouted another chemistry club member.

The two chemistry club members ducked behind some bushes.

"Saotome Ranma, I, Kuno Tatewaki, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, the rising star of the Kendo school, challenge you for deceiving me with that foul curse," the young master of kendo intoned.

Ranma stopped several feet in front of Kuno. "I'm too tired to fight you right now. Akane has been keeping me awake."

"Ranma! Don't talk about that!" Akane shouted, blushing.

Ranma glanced at her in confusion. "Come on Akane. It's not like I said anything about our sex life."

"Ranma, you stupid JERK!" Akane attacked him with her school-bag.

Kuno became enraged. "You dare have sex with a pure flower such as Akane!"

Akane turned from her attack to look at Kuno disbelievingly. "Um, Kuno, we're married..."

Ranma chuckled. "Yes, we are. And, it'd be _unnatural_ if we didn't have sex." He sidestepped Akane's school-bag, and playfully stuck his tongue out at his new wife. He jumped back, dodging her angry swings.

"YOU SHALL DIE FOR..." Kuno's shout was interrupted when he took a step forward.

*>BBBOOOOOMMM<*

"Kuno's into landmines now?" Ranma blinked.

Akane once again stopped her attack and turned to see the shattered, carbon-stained concrete. "He WOULD step on it, even if he did know about it."


"That idiot!" screamed one of the chemistry club members. "That egotistical pervert couldn't get that simple plan right!"

His companion glanced behind him, and started trembling. "Uh, that truly great and highly noble student is right behind you..."

"I'm going to feel such pain as I've never felt before," he said, looking at Kuno with his bokken at the ready.

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Ranma's and Akane's last class before lunch was completely silent. The history teacher had given a nice, quiet reading assignment so as to not wake the two exhausted newlyweds who had succeeded in sleeping through ALL of the morning classes without interruption.

Over by Ranma's desk were a number of male students, each waiting to pester Ranma with questions once the bell rang. By Akane's desk was also a number of female students waiting to ask their own questions.

The teacher looked at them, hoping one of them would speak before the bell, just to enact his own twisted punishment on the students: writing twenty plus page reports due tomorrow. He would have punished Ranma and Akane for sleeping, if Ms. Hinako hadn't threatened him.

Once the bell rang the guys violently shook Ranma in an attempt to wake him.

Yuka tentatively shook Akane, saying, "Saotome-chan. Wake up, Saotome-chan."

Akane wearily opened her eyes and emitted, "Huh?"

"Wake up, Saotome-chan," repeated Yuka.

Akane slowly blinked her sleepy eyes and sat up, frowning. Hearing 'Saotome' she started looking around for Ranma, only to see that she was surrounded by girls, and they were asking for her. She shook her head, trying to clear it. "'Saotome-chan?'"

"Well, you are Mrs. Saotome now," Sayuri replied.

Akane nodded. "I'm just not use to that yet."

"So, are you going to tell us what's it like?" a girl asked.

Akane looked at her with a dazed expression. "Ah, what's what like?"

"Sex with Ranma," replied a girl, giggling.

Akane blushed, and shook her head furiously. "You expect me to answer that HERE? I don't think so! Besides, I thought Nabiki set up a question and answer session after school."

"Well, she did," the girl admitted. "But, she's asking for five hundred yen admission and not all of us can make it."

Akane was still shaking her head. "I'll try to get a transcript of it for the class tomorrow."

"Come on, Ranma, WAKE UP!" a guy screamed.

"He fell asleep, too?" Akane asked.

"Yeah, you two must have been keeping each other awake since the wedding," answered Yuka.

Akane blushed. "Hmm... How to wake him up?" she asked herself as she got up and walked over to where Ranma was sleeping. She got an idea after noting what time it was. "Sorry boys, but no questions until after school." She leaned down next to Ranma's ear and shouted, "LUNCH TIME!"

Ranma was immediately standing. "Lunch?" he questioned as he looked around room.

"You fell asleep during class. It's lunch hour now," Akane told him.

"They didn't wake me up?" Ranma asked, confused.

"Nah, Ms. Hinako threatened the other teachers if they did wake either of you two up, she'd drain there chi," answered Hiroshi.

"Either of us?" Ranma looked at Akane.

"You got more sleep than I did," Akane replied and then blushed.

"Oh, right." Ranma laughed nervously.

Akane grabbed her husband by the hand and dragged him out of the classroom. "Let's hurry up and buy our lunch. We need to talk about what to say at the question and answer session."

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Over a third of Furinkan High showed up at the school auditorium for the question and answer session. Ranma and Akane stood off to the side of the stage, waiting for Nabiki to finish setting up the microphones.

Ukyou was among those attending. She was curious about how they would answer some of the questions.

"Are you sure about this?" Ranma asked, nervously.

"Would you rather have to answer them a hundred times or just once," Akane answered, nervously.

Ranma looked away."I'd rather not answer them at all..."

"Oh, would you rather let them come up with there own answers? Remember some of the rumors they've came up with in the past," Akane pointed out.

"I guess this is better," Ranma grumbled out.

On the auditorium speakers, Nabiki announced, "I thank you all for coming here and refraining from bothering Ranma and Akane. They will answer most of your questions, but they retain the right to refuse to answer certain ones." Several students expressed their displeasure. "Ranma, Akane, you have the floor."

"Hello," Akane said, nervously, "We will start taking questions." She looked around at several people waving their hands.

"Do you really love that idiot?" some guy shouted.

"Yes, I do," Ranma replied, smirking.

Akane smacked him in the arm. "He was asking me. And to answer the question, yes, I love him, even if I can't understand why."

"Did he use a love potion on you?" another guy cried out.

"No," Akane replied firmly.

"You're sure?" he insisted.

"Yes!" Akane shout back heatedly.

Ranma looked at someone waving their arm. "What's your question?"

A girl stood up. "How long have you've been in love with each other?"

"I fell in love with her from the start, though she didn't make it easy for me to realize it," Ranma answered.

Ukyou clenched her teeth. That jackass was in love with her all the entire time.

"I wish I could say the same, while I felt something for him at the start, my love for him developed gradually," Akane answered.

"Why did you string along your fiancees?" one girl accused.

"In the case of Shampoo, I guess she was a means to delay things. Ukyou, however, was more of someone to fall back on if Akane ever left me. If different things had happened, I might have married her," Ranma reluctantly admitted.

Ukyou wasn't pleased with the idea of being the consolation prize.

Ranma pointed at one student.

The boy asked, "Is Akane as violent in bed as she is in a fight?"

Ranma shook his head in disgust. "Next question."

"You," Akane pointed at a student.

"How long have you two been having sex?" a girl wondered.

"Can we please get off the topic of sex?" Akane asked angrily.

"NO!!" replied everyone.

"Why don't you answer some of the general questions?" Nabiki asked. "They're going to pester you until you do."

Akane's grip on the podium cracked it. "Nothing specific."

"So, is Akane violent in bed?" the one boy repeated.

Ranma looked at Akane who reluctantly nodded. "No, she isn't violent, exactly... she's... well, I guess 'imaginative' would describe her..."

"Have you done it girl to girl?" one boy leered.

Ranma backed away a little as Akane replied, blushing, "We will not answer that!"

Most of the students noted their reaction and assumed they had done it.

"How long have you been having sex?" was repeated, but not by the same girl.

"A couple days," Akane admitted.

A couple groans and curses were heard from the crowd.

"Did you have sex before marriage?" one guy pressed.

"Er... next question." Akane failed to answer.

Many students grinned at the non-answer. One shouted, "Was she pregnant at the wedding?"

"Next question," Akane stated firmly.

"I'll answer that question," Ukyou shouted angrily. "Yes! Akane was pregnant before the wedding."

Ranma and Akane paled. The crowd went into a roar of commotion.

"U-Ukyou, why?" Ranma stammered, shocked.

"They should know the truth. The reason you married her was because the slut seduced you," Ukyou spat.

Akane started to glow blue.

"THAT IS NOT TRUE!" Ranma yelled. "WE MARRIED FOR LOVE! Her pregnancy only moved up the date. It didn't change the fact WE planned to get married our senior year. WE decided that even BEFORE having sex. The ONLY thing I regret about all of this is the pain I caused you and Shampoo. I should have made it clear that you WERE NOT going to marry me from the beginning. For that, I cannot apologize enough. I want to make this clear to all of you: I LOVE AKANE WITH ALL OF MY HEART AND THAT IS WHY I MARRIED HER!"

Akane's aura faded as she heard what Ranma said.

"Come on Akane, I've had it with their questions." Ranma grabbed her hand and stomped off the stage.

The crowd said nothing, they were stunned.

Ukyou watched Ranma and Akane leave. She saw her ex-fiance look at her, his face showed how hurt, angry, and betrayed he felt. She got what she had wanted, to hurt Ranma for hurting her. Yet now she felt even worse.

Nabiki rubbed her hands greedily. "All right time to collect your bets."

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Ranma and Akane walked home in the rain. Ranma muttered to herself the entire time. Her wife followed closely lost in thought.

"We're home," Akane said absentmindedly as they entered their home.

"How was school today?" Kasumi asked politely.

"School was fine," Akane answered.

Ranma paid them no attention as she went to the dojo.

"Akane, what's wrong? Did you and Ranma have a fight?" Kasumi said noting the sorrowful look on her little sister.

"No. Ukyou told the school I'm pregnant," Akane growled out.

Kasumi gasped.

"I can't believe she did THAT!" Akane screamed angrily.

"Why would she do that?" Kasumi asked.

"Because she's... she's...a vengeful bitch!" Akane spat.

"Vengeful?" Kasumi asked.

"She's upset and hurt because I married Ranma," Akane answered, her anger waning.

Kasumi pouted. "You didn't mean to hurt her."

"Does it matter if we meant to or not?" Akane pointed out. "She's still in pain for losing him."

---------------------------------------------------

Nabiki enter the dining room with her school-bag and a brown paper bag. Ranma, Akane, and Mousse were sitting at the table. Nabiki set the bags to the side of the room and joined them.

Nabiki looked at Mousse, who was covered with bandages and bruises, asking, "What happened to you?"

Mousse glanced at Ranma and replied, "Training."

Nabiki shook her head. "Next time fake being sick when Ranma is mad."

"Somehow I don't think that'd work," Mousse commented.

"You train through illness. Your enemies don't care if you're sick," Ranma told them bitterly.

Akane shook her head. "Ranma, I know what Ukyou did hurt. She did it because she's in pain, and we caused it. I can understand why she did it."

"Who said anything about her?" Ranma hissed.

Akane closed her eyes. "She's the reason you're upset. You trusted her to keep that a secret, but she used it to hurt you because you had hurt her."

"I didn't mean to hurt her," Ranma said defensively.

Akane nodded. "I know that, but she is hurt and retaliated at us for causing it."

Ranma looked down at the floor. "You're not upset at her?"

"Of course I'm upset with her, but I understand why she did it. Think of what would've have happened if the roles were reversed and you married Ukyou," Akane suggested.

Ranma thought for a second and then shuddered. "At least a hospital trip for me, and you might have said the same thing about Ukyou."

Akane nodded gravely, she had thought about it since she got home and came to a similar conclusion.

Ranma, wanting to get off this topic of conversation, asked, "Nabiki, what's in the paper bag?"

"Just another present from a secret admirer," Nabiki replied.

"Secret admire?" Ranma asked, surprised.

"Of course I know who he is," Nabiki added with a slight grin.

"Who is it?" Akane chirped.

"Why don't I let you figure it out," Nabiki replied. "I'll be back in a second."

Ranma and Akane shared confused glances with Mousse.

Nabiki returned a moment later with a flower vase filled with some water, and placed it on the table. She pulled a bouquet of red roses from the bag and put them into the vase.

"Tell anyone about this, and I will send you through hell," Nabiki warned.

Akane saw a card hidden among the flowers and took it. She read:

Of glorious beauty thou has indeed,
and in my heart is placed love's seed.

A love from afar, Your Secret Admirer.

"So, he's chasing you again," Akane commented as Ranma snatched the card from her hand.

"Looks like it," Nabiki replied.

"This isn't who I think it is?" Ranma asked.

"And who do you think it is?" Nabiki returned.

"Kuno," Ranma replied simply.

Nabiki nodded. "Then you thought correctly."

Ranma started to laugh. "You have my sympathy."

Mousse quickly followed. "And mine."

Ranma began to laugh. "So, what are you going to do with him: swindle away his fortune or make it clear you want nothing to do with him?" He became confused when he saw Akane scowl darkly at him.

"Neither, I'm going to try and make the relation work," Nabiki answered matter-of-factly.

Ranma's and Mousse's jaws dropped to the table.

"Find it hard to believe that someone finds him attractive," Akane asked with a grin.

The guys nodded dumbly.

"What do you see in him?" Ranma asked.

"I don't know. There is something I like about him, and it's not his yen. But, that doesn't hurt, though," Nabiki answered.

"That something is love," Akane chirped in, squeezing Ranma's hand.

"What? Me love the dense, egotistical, pervert!" Nabiki denied.

"Gee, that sounds familiar," Mousse commented.

Akane and Mousse started laughing. Ranma shock his head.

Nabiki glared at Mousse. She wanted to change topics and asked him, "So, have you made arrangement on where you'll be staying?"

"Um, not yet. I, er, was going to ask if it'd be all right if I stayed here," Mousse answered.

"Of course you can stay here. You can use Ranma's old room, except when his parents visit, then we'll come up with some other sort of arrangement," Akane answered.

Mousse bowed toward her. "Thank you."

"You should do some things for us, considering you're being trained and given room and board," Nabiki added.

"I'll help around the house, and I can do some repair work," Mousse offered.

"That'll do for now," Nabiki replied.

"Why aren't you staying at the Neko-Hanten?" Ranma asked.

"I can't return until I defeat Shampoo," Mousse weakly answered.

"Why not?" Ranma pressed.

Mousse sighed. "Because Cologne won't allow it."

It was apparent there was more to this, but he also wasn't going to talk. They decided not to press the issue as Kasumi brought in dinner.

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Ukyou returned home late in the evening to find that Konatsu had finished cleaning out what was left of the restaurant.

"Where have you been?" Konatsu asked, concerned.

"Wandering around," Ukyou replied, morbidly.

"Did you see Ranma and Akane?" Konatsu wondered.

Ukyou only nodded.

"So, what happened when you saw them?" Konatsu asked with concern.

Ukyou looked away. "I told the school Akane was pregnant."

"W-why did you do that?" Konatsu squeaked out in surprise.

"Because I wanted them to hurt, like they hurt me," Ukyou admitted.

Konatsu sighed. "Did it make you feel better?"

Ukyou shook her head.

"Revenge never makes someone feel better," Konatsu told her.

"Sure it can. I felt better after beating the crap out of Genma," Ukyou smiled weakly.

Konatsu pouted cutely. "That's because you hate him. You don't hate Ranma."

"But, now he hates me," Ukyou fretted.

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you. Upset at you, probably, but he doesn't hate you. They're your friends and they'll forgive you," Konatsu assured her.

"Am I?" Ukyou questioned desperately. "Am I still their friend? I hurt them. Do you have any idea how many problems they'll have at school because of what I said?"

Konatsu sagged. "I wouldn't know. But in terms of regaining their friendship, I suggest you apologize and try to help them at school."

Ukyou nodded as she walked off to her room.

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Ranma laid in bed stroking Akane's hair. "Can love really be that blind?" he muttered.

"What was that?" Akane asked.

"I'm trying to figure out why Nabiki is in love with Kuno."

The girl in question was in the next room with headphones on as she was eavesdropping on them. They did not hear her retort, "I am not in love with him."

"Stranger things have happened. Look at me, I fell in love and married someone who changes sex with water, scared of cats, a 'man amongst men' which is the type of guy I usually hate, and has super-human abilities," Akane pointed out.

"Now Akane, you particularly like the first and last one," Ranma said with a perverted grin.

"I didn't know that I'd like that until recently," Akane retorted.

Nabiki's eyes bulged when she heard that. "My sister is a pervert!?"

"Still what could she possibly even like about him?" Ranma wondered.

"I've been asked that question thousands of times about you. My answer is 'I don't know.' There is something about you that I find undeniably attractive, something that goes beyond logical reasons," Akane explained.

"I guess love can be blind." Ranma chuckled. "I fell in love with an uncute, macho chick after all."

"Flattery will get you everywhere," Akane said with a perverted grin.

"Flattery? She calls that flattery? I'm going to have to talk with her." Nabiki switched her headphones to music considering she would need to use them to hear the noises that were rapidly growing louder from the next room.

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Author's note:
Thanks to David Tatum and Brent Neef for going over the original version, and thanks to everyone who have given reviews and comments over the years.

The comment of Akane liking that Ranma turns into a girl was originally meant to be as perverted as it sounds. I left it in as there are advantages to having an aqua-transexual as a spouse that has nothing to do with sex and to shock Nabiki. Ranma, having been in the body of a girl, knows about certain female issues other guys would be completely clueless about. He would be more understanding. Sure it is also not without problems, but Akane has always only known Ranma as being both a guy and a girl.