Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ The One Left Behind ❯ Chapter 3

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: Don't own Ranma 1/2. If I did, I'd make a Ryouga series. To hell with Ranma.

Ranma: Hey!
Ashes: Sorry man couldn't help it.
Ranma: Didn't this story die? *hopeful look*
Ashes: Guess not.
Ranma: Damn.

C&C makes me happy. I can take constructive criticism.

Contact Info:
Ashez2ashes@yahoo.com
Previous chapters at:
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---
The One You Left Behind
Part Three
---

"What is wrong with you?!"

"It's not my fault! I TOLD you not to follow me!"

She thought I was lying to her. As if I'd leave her somewhere! I don't take after that side of the family! Damn it! Now we're stuck here...wherever here is. Well, let's see. When you're lost you're supposed to check the local surroundings for landmarks, right?

Hmm...tree...tumbleweed...cow...diner...small rice farm...large spatula aimed at my face...very angry cross-dressing girl...I've got it!

I'm in hell.

"You Jackass! How could you get us this lost?! Is there something wrong with your brain? Did your father drop you on your head as a baby?!"

WHOA! SO THAT'S WHAT THAT SCAR IS FROM!

"I told you not to follow me. I don't know what's wrong with me ok? Ever since I was little I haven't been able to get where I've been going...I don't know why..." Um...maybe he DID drop me on my head! Damn him!

Ukyou sighed and hung her head. "Okay, okay, stop before you start crying again." She grabbed my map away from me and sat down in the dirt. I sat down next to her and looked at the map over her shoulder. 'Cause what else am I going to do? Cry?

"I do not--"

"Yes you do. You cry all the time". She paused and grinned savagely. "Ryoukodukikin."

"Am I ever going to hear the end of that?"

"Eh...maybe if you die."

"Suicide. Always a good option."

I started punching little holes into the ground, waiting for Miss Psycho Chef to figure out the map. It's a nervous habit. It always used to make my mom sooo mad. Huh...shut up brain I don't want to think about her right now. It might make my eyes uh...water or something.

Hmm...Damn you Ranma...Ranma go to hell ... Genma's a fat bastard...yeah that looks nice. It'd be cool if they walked by it once. Stupid Ranma would turn to the bastard and be like 'Gee golly dad! It looks like someone wrote some bad things about us! I'm so unmanly I'm gonna cry! Wait, I can't read. I'm stupid!'. Then Genma would scratch his baldhead and go 'I don't know how to read it either son! Because I'm only a stupid fat bastard'. Heh heh heh...

...Wait, that defeats the whole purpose of writing it in the dirt.

Awwwww.

Ukyou looked up from her map. "Are you talking to yourself again?"

"No."

"Ok then." She flipped her ponytail back behind her shoulder and stood up. I stood up too, smacking some of the dirt off my black pants. Black conducts too much dirt, so does yellow. Why do I have a yellow and black outfit then?

Ukyou turned to me and smiled. She should really do that more often.

"I think I know where we are!" She waved the map in the air in kind of a mocking way. She's probably mocking me. Eh, no. She's helping me. I guess I'm so hungry I'm getting grouchy...err more so than usual.

"Ukyou, are you hungry?"

"A bit. I can fire up the grill and--"

Oh gods. She was going to make me eat okinomiyaki again.

"Um no! I don't want you to go to the trouble! Let's go to that diner ok?" I pointed to the food-like establishment off into the distance. "We could eat, get some directions, or hitch a ride if we're lucky. Please?"

Rule Number 1: Always be polite to girls. They will hit you less.

"All right, Ryoukodukikin."

But they still will mock you.

---

This diner is a weird place. At first I thought it was one of those roadside joints, but...the place claims to be a tea shop. Maybe it was a tea shop at one point in time, but it sure isn't now. It's more like an American diner with Japanese things strewn about. The Lady at the cash register is REALLY REALLY ugly. I know it's rude to think that but...boy is she ugly. Not only that, she was mean. Even Ukyou noticed she was ugly and she's a girl. Girls aren't supposed to notice those sorts of things...

Eh, maybe they do notice those sorta things. Except, instead of thinking, 'She's ugly' they think, 'HA HA HA! I'M PRETTIER THAN YOU!'.

Anyways, this diner had really ugly ladies in it, with the only exception being the lady that waited on us. She was kinda pretty. I think her name was Konatsu. Her ugly sisters (I think they're her sisters) were really mean to her. I saw them yelling and stuff.

The tea is nice here. We ordered some other food, too. They don't just serve tea here, which makes it soooo not a tea shop. I think the diner is in denial.

I swirled the tea in my half empty cup idly. I hate waiting.

Ukyou droned on for a little bit. I wasn't paying attention. Girls sure talk a lot. Besides, the guys behind me were more interesting. I think they're mobsters. One only looks half Japanese. I bet they're drug smugglers...or asassins! They could be waiting for their boss to make a call about their next hit, hoping that they can finish their hot fudge sundaes in time...

"So, what's your last name Ryouga? Just in case I have to make out your tombstone, sugar."

What? Last name? Uh...

The half Japanese guy leaned over his seat. "Listen, we have to find this guy. He be key to our operations."

"He be key?" Talk about weird japanese. The guy had to be a foreigner.

"Hibiki, eh? Pretty average name."

"Huh?"

"I said, Hibiki is a pretty average name."

"Yeah it's average." What IS she talking about?

Aww, the mobster guys are getting up. Lucky guys, and they look soooo cool too. I wish I had a leather jacket. There they go, off to assassinate someone. That's so neat.

"Ryouga...you're not paying attention to me again."

I probably couldn't have a leather jacket though, I'd just get it muddy.

"Jackass..."

They cost a lot too. I think Ukyou's saying something, oh well. When's the food gonna get here?

"Some guys a little while ago asked if we were gay lovers. I told them no, but you were interested."

"That's nice." Do gay guys wear leather?.....WHAT THE HELL?!

I started joking on my tea. "WHAT?!"

Ukyou smiled brightly. "Finally, you're paying attention to me."

"Y-you you t-told th-them w-what?"

Ukyou patted me on the head like the brain-dead family dog. "I was lying, dear."

I grimaced. "Don't call me dear. It looks weird."

Ukyou stuck her tongue out at me. "Don't worry about it Ryouga deeeeear." She pinched me on the cheek. I really wish she wouldn't do that while she was dressed as a guy. "No one's gonna say anything about your alternative life style." She giggled all crazily. What was in her tea?

I glared at her in the most 'angry manly guy' glare I could muster.

...which made her giggle even more.

"Relax. Life is going good. We're not that far away from Nerima. And then I can get my revenge and regain my honor. Etc etc, everything will be okinomiyaki and cherry blossoms. Ok Mr. Pessimist?"

"Ok, Miss Optimist."

"Excuse Me? Here is your order."

That pretty waitress lady had come back. She sat down our food trays and smiled at us, one of those real smiles, not the fake ones people wear all the time. Hey uh...she's kinda...staring at Ukyou.

"Is there anything else you might need?" the lady asked in a very formal tone. Very nice and polite girl...

"Nah, we're good, sugar! Thanks."

The waitress blushed again and walked away flustered. Ukyou immediately turned to her food and started to separate our orders, completely oblivious. I, being totally not used to knowing what's going on, decided to keep quiet.

Rule Number 2: When in doubt, shut up.

We ate our food fairly quickly....eh, ok I inhaled mine. My mother would be ashamed. Proper people don't inhale their food. OOOooooh well. Mom isn't here now is she?

...ack! I didn't mean it!

I looked around, expecting to get sucked into hell at any moment. Ukyou must have noticed my freaking out, because she picked up the menu and hit me in the head with it. Or she didn't notice and just felt like hitting me in the head.

"What are you doing?"

I took a deep breath and relaxed a bit. "I thought something disrespectful, was expecting to get sucked into hell."

Ukyou blinked. "Huh?"

"You know, the void that takes people into hell that are disrespectful to women." Everyone knew about the void. What had her parents been teaching her? I guess she didn't get very much education.

Ukyou looked at me like I had just said, 'Come on. Let's forgive Ranma'. "Not that I wouldn't like something like this, but who told you that?"

"Huh? My mom. Everyone knows about the void to hell." Where has she been?

"Uh huh. I think your parents were actually worse than mine."

"Hey! Don't say anything about my mom!" Only one of my parents were bad!

Ukyou sipped her tea. "There is no such thing as a void that sucks disrespectful men into hell, unfortunately. How could Ranma and Genma still be around?"

She's using her intellect against me! No fair!

"I...I dunno. Maybe mom could be wrong." She liked Ranma and Genma. That's pretty damn wrong...she was so blind concerning them. She said she wanted them to 'go off to a training to trip train her oldest son'. Yeah right, he abandoned her. Then all my life I have to hear, I bet Ranma's so strong now, this' and 'Genma's probably made him into the best martial artist in the world now' that. You could never be as good martial artist as he is, honey. My poor little boy...Bah! What? Like she didn't make ME train every freakin day too?

Go carry that boulder up that hill a few dozen times, honey. Go off with your uncle and train blinded folded on top of a roasting fire on a pole, honey. Wasn't it nice of that neighbor man to take you to the jungle, honey? HERE'S A POCKET KNIFE, I'LL SEE YOU IN A MONTH HONEY!!!

...um, I must have had too much tea or something.

"Maybe? You are soooo a momma's boy." Ukyou smirked. I wish she wouldn't smirk. Thank the Gods she doesn't know who I am. I'd go insane married to her. I'd have to see her SMIRKING at me all the time. And all our children would smirk all the time and be way too damn happy than any child of mine would have a right to be.

"Shut up about my mom."

Ukyou raised an eyebrow. "I've found a sensitive spot. eh?"

"She's dead ok?"

Ukyou stopped with her tea cup halfway to her lips.

". . .Sorry." She looked genuinely embarrassed. "I didn't know, sugar. I shouldn't have said...whoa!"

"Whoa?" You don't use "whoa" when you're apologizing to someone. Unless that someone is a horse...

"Look!"

"You're not going to finish apologizing to me?" Awww...

"Look stupid!" She grabbed my chin and forcibly pointed my face toward the restaurant counter. What am I supposed to be looking at?...There's just some red-haired girl standing next to a panda. Wait!

Next to that panda is Ryu!

I turned toward Ukyou and whispered in her ear. Gotta keep a low profile and all.

"It's Ryu! . . . our OTHER enemy!" He's come back to finish us off! Uh, I mean . . . time to get revenge!

"What do we do?" Ukyou tried to lean down in her seat so she wouldn't be seen.

I clenched my fist. "Something vengeful..."

"What a well thought out plan! Such intricate thought processes involved! I'm glad I'm with you!" Ukyou punched me on the arm...and winced in pain.

"Do YOU have a plan?"

"..............no." She rubbed her sore hand. Serves her right for hitting me! Not that I care or anything. If you go around hitting strong manly men who are built like tanks, such as myself, you must expect dire consequences.

"I say we just run up and hit him with something heavy." When in doubt, throw a boulder. Worked in second grade, still works now. No one's ever gonna steal Ryouga's pocky ever again, that's for sure.

"How? If we just attack him, he'll hit us with his vacuum cleaner attack again."

"Vacuum cleaner attack?"

"You know what I mean."

We need something to use against him...I glanced out the window. Next to the restaurant was the ugly shop ladies' house. Between the buildings, laundry was laid out to dry on strings strung between two poles. Some of the biggest pairs of underwear I have ever seen fluttered in the breeze like some really ugly flags from a country no one would ever visit....Hey...I've got an idea!

"Ukyou, see the laundry on those poles out there?"

Ukyou glanced, over and her eyes widened. She turned back to me, her eyes gleaming with sparkly red revenge. "That's brilliant, Ryouga. You might have a brain after all..."

"I can sneak up and hit him from behind with one of those poles!"

I had a fleeting image of a spatula coming toward my face before everything went fuzzy...

"Come on Jackass," some large blurry thing told me as I was being dragged away...look at all the pretty colors...

----

"Come on Ryouga, grab some."

"You do it! I don't want to touch them!"

"Go ahead, be a man."

"But...they're so big!"

"Yeah, they are aren't they?"

I looked around at my surroundings. Really ugly old ladies underwear floated in the breeze. The plan was too grab a couple and plant them in Ryu's bag. Easy right? Except we actually have to touch them first...

Ukyou rolled her eyes. "Just put your hand on it and pull."

"You should have to do it too! I don't want to have to do this by myself!"

A lady walked by looking scandalized. What's her problem? We haven't even stole anything yet.

Ukyou stomped her foot impatiently. "Just grab some of the underwear before we get caught!"

The evil okinomiyaki chef had conveniently made this my part of the plan. She had to distract Ryu while I put the underwear in his bag...But it's not fair! NOW I HAVE TO TOUCH THESE GROSS THINGS! Jeez, you could clothe all the orphans in the country with these things. Not that I would wish that on an orphan.

"Fine..." I reached out my hand and pulled a couple from the line, trying to keep them from touching my skin. This is just...so...icky and gross...

"Stop being a wuss, Ryouga."

"But it's gross..."

Ukyou left me and snuck around the building to implement her part of the plan: the distraction. And so I waited a few minutes to give her time to change, and then shuffled off toward the restaurant door. I don't like her part of the plan. I guess it could work but...I sighed and hunched down waiting for her signal. Time went by really slowly, like when you break your leg and have to walk through the desert.

Finally...I heard the signal.

"RANMA HONEY!"

I ducked into the restaurant as Ukyou, dressed in girl's clothes, glomped onto Ryu. Ryu's eyes widened in surprise. I moved to Ryu's bag slowly on my knees, hidden by the side of the countertop. Everyone was staring at the loud scene Ukyou was creating and didn't seem to notice me. I reached his bag and stuffed the underwear in a pocket, making sure that a large section of it was sticking out.

"Ranma where have you been?" Ukyou continued to hug Ryu...

I snuck back to the door.

"I'm not..." Ryu hesitated. What is he doing? I was almost to the door...

I saw Ryu put his arm around Ukyou's shoulders. "It's been horrible being separated from you, dear."

WHAT THE FU--

"Uh, yeah I guess..." Ukyou started to panic slightly. She noticed me still hanging around the threshold, and motioned with her eyes for me to leave. What the hell does that bastard think he's doing?! I'll crush his bones his bones and make bread I'll...Oh Ukyou wants me to leave...That stupid freakin bastard! He'll wish he had never been born.

I looked up. Hey...why is Ukyou flipping me off over Ryu's shoulder? Um...oh! That plan thing!

But I want to hurt him _MYSELF_! Who does he think he is, taking advantage of an innocent young girl...

Ukyou's middle finger waved at me again.

But I really wanted to break his arm!

Ukyou mouthed 'vacuum cleaner attack' over Ryu's shoulder.

Well, fine! See if I worry about her anymore!

I walked through the mangled door frame and outside. I ran my hand alongside the building so I wouldn't get lost. Eventually, I ended up at the back...and waited...

"HOLD ON A SECOND! YOU'RE NOT RANMA!"

Smack!

Wow...I heard that from all the way over here. I suppose that was one way to diffuse the situation...

"Excuse me?"

I looked up and saw that pretty waitress girl...Konatsu was her name I think...walking up to me. She had a basket of laundry in her hand. She had dirt smudged on her face and she looked tired. I felt a twinge of guilt and pushed it down. Now was not the time for that conscious thing to come back.

I tried to act like a very non-guilty person.

"Hehehheh um...how's it...uh...how are...what's up?"

Yep. I was smooth.

"Have you seen a piece of laundry lying around, by any chance? I seem to be one short." She shifted the large basket of laundry to her other hand.

By the Gods... A plan I was involved in is actually working. This is too easy. A crazy girl with a giant pig was going to jump out any moment now. I just know it.

"Actually, I saw this guy in camouflaged pants taking something from that line." I pointed to the now empty clothes line. "I think he's still in the restaurant..." If it wouldn't totally incriminate me, I'd laugh manically right now.

"Oh..." Konatsu bowed. "Thank you for your assistance." She then walked away toward the front of the restaurant where Ryu sat, finishing his soup. The bastard wouldn't know what hit him. Ah, life was so great.

"Ryouga..." Ukyou jogged up meet me. She had changed back into her boy cloths...unfortunately. Um, I mean...not unfortunately...I didn't mean unfortunately...even if she did look really...shut up brain! Lucky Ryu bastard...I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP BRAIN!

Ukyou wiped a line of sweat from her forehead and smiled. "That'll teach him to mess with us, right Ryoukodukikin?"

I smiled back. "Yes it will, psycho chef."

Ukyou glared half heartedly and grabbed my hand. We picked up our packs and made it to a hill we had picked out to watch the action. She let go of my hand as we reached a high spot on the hill. A tree covered us in its shade. No one would be able to see us up here.

I sat down on the grass, followed by Ukyou.

Someone screamed.

"PERVERT! HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY UNMENTIONABLES!"

There was a nice crash from inside the building.

"WHY WOULD I STEAL YOUR UGLY UNDERWEAR YOU INSANE WOMEN?!"

A sound like a giant vacuum cleaner came from the restaurant.

"ATTACKING ME IN MY HOWN RESTAURANT! YOU FOUL LITTLE BOY! BERTHA! GET IN HERE!"

Pleasant booming sounds echoed through the small valley.

"THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE OF YOU?!"

There was a pause of silence.

"THERE ARE FOUR OF YOU?!"

I pulled some candy out of my pocket. "Bubblegum Ukyou?"

"Why thank you."

"OW! OW! LET ME GO!"

"WOW BERTHA! I DIDN'T KNOW LEGS COULD BEND THAT WAY!"

Ukyou and I turned toward each other and smiled at the same time. You know...revenge is a lot more fun if you have someone to cackle maniacally with.

----

C&C?
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