Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ To Become a God ❯ Let's Get This Party Started ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer – I fricken' OWN Dragonis! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! I do not however own Ah! My Goddess or Ranma ½ , although that would be sweet.

Authors Note = Now re-edited for your pleasure. And so it Begins.

Let's Get This Party Started

“Hey, Sensei!” Dragonis called from the formless abyss he found himself in. One second he's Swapping stories with his mentor, accepting godhood from him, the next... BAM... featureless blackness so great he can't even see himself. Well crap.

“Try saying 'Let there be light'.” Draco, his sensei's voice seemed to echo through his mind.

“Umm, let there be light.” Dragonis said, uncertainly.

Nothing.

“Will it to happen as you say it, dumb ass.” Draco spoke in an amused mental voice.

“Right, right. Let There Be Light!” Dragonis intoned, this time with conviction. And there was. “Fuck that's bright! Tone it down a bit will ya!” he shouted over the ringing in his ears as he tried to blink the spots out of his eyes from the big, well, BANG that had occurred right in front of him. “What's so funny?”

“Well,” Draco said, chuckling, “You don't see an over deity blind himself all that often.”

“Shut up.”

Draco chuckled a bit more. That was priceless.

“So... what now, sensei?”

“Draco, just Draco. I think you've earned the right.”

“Draco then. Well? What do I do now?”

Draco blinked twice, then smacked himself in the head in frustration.

“You're an over deity now! Create a universe, populate it, then sit down and watch the fun! Jeez Dragonis, what did you think you were going to be doing? Listening to prayers from the Realms and attending church? That's what we have underlings for.”

Dragonis looked around. “What underlings? All I see is endless space... and one star.”

“You need to create them.”

“Oh! Alright.... how, exactly?”

“Ya know what, lets just go back to my place and I'll explain a few things.” And so it was.

The two gods sat in comfortable, overstuffed chairs sipping ambrosia and discussing the intricacy of running all of existence. One was short, and oriental wearing a silk hakama, the other was six foot and gaijin, wearing loose fitting kung-fu pants and a sleeveless black vest. Both had long black hair and perfect male physiques. They are after all, gods.

“Yggdrasil,” Dragonis scratched his head, “where'd ya come up with that one?”

Draco shrugged. “Thought it sounded cool.”

“So you willed a computer powerful enough to run the whole shebang into existence, created the gods as your underlings to take care of anything needing a personal touch, and sit back in your office watching how things go on a big screen?”

“Pretty much. Had a failed marriage a millennia or two ago to a chick named Hild. She's the devil. No, really, she's in charge of hell now.”

“No shit.”

“Yep.”

“So.... What’s on the tube now?”

Draco smiled and waved a hand causing an amazingly large flat screen TV to appear. A Japanese teen with blue eyes and a black pigtail seemed to be in a chaotic all out fight with a couple of oddball opponents.

“Cool.” Dragonis said, moving his chair for a better view.

“Lately I've been watching the adventures of a fella named Ranma Saotome. Poor guy must have been born under an unlucky star.”

“Why's that?” Dragonis took a sip of his ambrosia. Tasted a lot like a drink he'd been introduced to on Coruscant called A&W cream soda. By Draco that stuff was good!

“Well... here.” Draco tossed a thick folder to Dragonis. “Take a gander at his file. It's one hell of a read.”

Dragonis shot a look at Draco, then settled into it. Thirty minutes later, and not a sound or facial expression out of him, he closed the file and looked at Draco.

“Well?”

“That's fucked up.” Dragonis pronounced. “Dude gets brought up by a sadist, sold off as a groom countless times for the smallest thing, given an aqua-transsexual curse, and got caged in the center of a shit-storm. Yet through it all he pursues martial arts and honor. Shit, he killed a demigod for that chick, Akane, and still doesn't get the girl.” He shook his head in exasperation.

Draco looked at his former student thoughtfully. “You identify with him, don't you.” Dragonis looked up sharply. “You want to help him, don't you.”

“It's not my problem.” Dragonis stated flatly.

Draco smirked at him. “You do.” he said knowingly. “Good.” he said with finality.

Dragonis cocked an eyebrow questioningly.

“There's too big a, shit-storm you said, swirling around him. Too many things happening to him for it to be natural. I think he's being manipulated by a higher power.” Draco sighed and sat back in his chair. “The problem with having an ex running the other side is that she knows my system, and how to avoid some of it's less important systems. I had plans for that boy. He was going to be the new god of martial arts.”

“Was?”

“His training got flubbed. The mother was supposed to temper the fathers training methods. Teach him social skills. The curse? The boy wasn't even supposed to go the china. He was supposed to become the grandmaster of the school, go to college, and found a dojo to teach the style. He was supposed to grow up as best friends with Akane, and the two of them were to fall in love and wed. Instead, everything went to hell.” He took a shot of his drink. “The Tendo mother wasn't supposed to die, his mother was not supposed to sign that damn contract, the father was not supposed to take the boy on a ten year journey of torture, and he was not supposed to have multiple fiancés. The whole thing is warped beyond recognition from the original plan.”

“Why didn't you step in?”

“I have all of existence to look after. While all this was going on I was busy.”

“Busy?”

“Look, I've got a bunch of reincarnated princess's trying to resurrect their old kingdom, a trio of girls that have, twice now, been dragged into the alternate magical realm of Rayearth to save it's existence, with a third time on the way. I've got the nobles from another planet living here and gaining power so that, when the heir returns he can set his homeland strait, not to mention six of my daughters world side, three of them involved with the alien nobility. And that's just this world in this reality!”

“Six daughters? From Hild?”

“No. only one of them is from that crazy bitch.” Draco pulled out his wallet and fished around in it for a few seconds before handing six pictures to Dragonis.

Dragonis whistled appreciatively. “Nice.”

“The brown haired one is Belldandy, goddess of the present. She's seeing a nice mortal named Keiichi. She's the traditional Japanese daughter. The platinum blond is the one I had with Hild. Her name is Urd and she's goddess of the past. Bit lazy and a real party animal. The youngest one is Skuld goddess of the future. She's an easily excitable tech lover. The Red head is Washu, another tech genius who loves to appear as a child. She locked away her memories. The bluette is Tsunami. She's amalgamating with a girl named Sasami. She's a gentle one. The last is Tokemi. She's a spitfire she is. Do not get her mad.”

“And only Belldandy is attached to anyone?” Dragonis said with a leer.

“Hey! Those are my daughters!” Draco glared. Dragonis waggled his eyebrows. Draco tried to hide his smirk, really he did.

“Look,” Draco continued after they had a mutual chuckle, ”I want you to go world side and straiten out the Ranma situation for me.”

“Just Ranma?”

“Well, lets start with one, shall we.”

Dragonis swirled his drink, eyes locked on it's contents while he mulled it over. “Anything Goes is our style dumbed down, isn't it? That's why he was getting prepped isn't it.”

“I broke it down into different parts and spread them out as separate styles He was supposed to learn all the individual styles and reassemble them into his to recreate the Dragoon martial style.”

Dragonis nodded, then downed the rest of the ambrosia. “I'm in, but I need to study a few things first”
“You have full access to the world computer, second only to myself.” Draco nodded decisively.

“WAKE UP BOY!” Genma grabbed his son and threw him out the window, or at least he tried too. Instead of his son, he threw a stuffed doll of his son, complete a face drawn to look like it was giving him the angry eyes and sticking it's tongue out. “What the...” was as far as he got before a pair of feet impacted with his back sending him flying out the window in the same path he had intended for his son.

Ranma walked up to the window, dusting off his hands while glaring at the man turned panda floating swirly eyed in the koi pond. “Stupid old man.” Ranma had had it. Really he had. His life had been going from bad to worst. Ever since the failed wedding, the fiancés had been going at him and each other twice as hard, which meant that the other suitors were going at him at twice that! Where before he had been attacked every day, now it felt like every few hours. It was wearing him down.

Not enough sleep, not enough recovery time. What did they take him for, a robot? Well, even machines broke down with no downtime. Ranma had tried to get some time to himself, even tried leaving Nerima a few times, but it hadn't worked. After all, the amazons had tracked him from China, and the others just followed them whenever they went Ranma hunting.

He was even showing physical signs of wearing down, not that anyone but Kasumi had noticed. He was leaner than he should have been, what with missing lunch thanks to his fiancés and rivals seeing it as a perfect time to have at him, and he was lucky if Akane didn't send him flying at dinner for some perceived affront or other.

There were bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, what with rivals trying to get at him when he was sleeping, or the fiancés, he could only take short naps at a time. With everybody constantly at him, he didn't even have time to train properly anymore! And then there was Akane.

After the failed wedding, things had been alright between them for a few days, but the stepped up fiancé ambushes had soured that, and now that the frequency of these attacks had skyrocketed she was mad at him almost constantly. He could barely recognize the sweet, if violent, girl he had fallen in love with.

He sighed to himself and rubbed his eyes in frustration. All this crap was getting to be too much for him. His control was starting to slip. His rivals were scoring more hits, his situational awareness was getting iffy. He was rapidly losing the edge. Even his Mouko Takabisha attack was weaker, stemming from his confidence as it was.

Ranma shook his head to break away from this train of thought, took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and walked downstairs to face another day in his quagmired life.

“Who's the new stud muffin?” Urd purred to her sister, eyes locked onto the unfamiliar man working earnestly at one of the Yggdrasil access stations.

Skuld looked over at the new guy, then snorted at her sisters lustful gaze. “I don't know. Just popped up a while ago. Heaven is a big place. Can't know everyone.”

“Well, I think I'm gonna see if I can get to know him.” Urd smiled saucily before stalking her prey... er... I mean slinking up on her unsuspecting vict... um... well, she went over to greet the guy.

“Hey there handsome.” she said in her most sultry voice, leaning over to give him a good look at her generous clea... hmm... to look him in the eye.

The new guy looked up at her in surprise. “Oh! Hi, Urd, isn't it?”

“Well, you know my name...” she prompted, casually leaning against to console while making sure to position herself to show off her curves to best advantage.

“Dragonis.” The man extended his hand politely and giving her a smile.

“Hmmmm.” she purred, “Charmed, I'm sure.” His smile turned into a smirk.

“Lying it on a bit thick, aren't ya?” he asked humorously.

Urd slumped a bit, then perked right up, “Saw through that didja!” she said happily with a gleaming smile.

Dragonis chuckled. “Nice try. What can I help you with Mrs Goddess of the past, self proclaimed goddess of love?”

Urd pouted, “No fare. You know all about me, but all I know is your name. Why so mysterious?”

“'Cause it's fun.” he said with a wink. Urd chuckled. The new guy had a sense of humor, and he hadn't turned into jell o when she was 'laying it on thick'.

“So, whatcha doing?” she asked..

“Looking up how Ki and magic work.”

“Huh? How do you not know that?” she asked puzzled. Every god new how the two most primal forces worked.

“Oh, I now how they work where I come from, but this place doesn't work quite the same way.”

“You a God for a different planet?” Urd asked with honest curiosity. She hadn't seen her sister Tsunami in ages.

“Something like that.” Dragonis smiled lopsidedly. “Hey, could you show me the files I'm looking for?”

“Sure.” Urd smiled, scooting his chair out and plopping into his lap so she could access the console. He may not turn to jell o at her advances, but that made it fun!

Ranma was in trouble, and he knew it. At lunch he'd failed to dodge Akane's mallet when he'd refused her bento and found himself crashing down right in front of the eternally lost boy, Ryoga himself. Ryoga had wasted no time in attacking Ranma. Now he was nursing numerous bruises and bleeding freely.

Problem was Ranma wasn't as fast as usual, or as focused. He hadn't recovered as quickly as he usually did, and ended up taking more hits and damage than he was used to. The fight had been one sided at best.

To Ryoga, all his dreams were coming true. Ranma was slower than he expected, but he chocked it up to his training. Finally, Ranma would pay! He'd kill Ranma and Akane would be free of him.

Ranma's dodge wasn't enough to avoid the punch, just reduce the damage. He felt his ribs crack as it was anyway. Dammit, I've slipped to much, lost my edge. I gotta do something drastic, or Ryoga's gonna kill me! Ranma rolled to a standing position, arm tight to his body to protect his damaged ribs. Ryoga was already charging at him.

Ranma hopped up and pushed off the tree to flip over Ryoga, twisting in the air to land facing his opponents back, only to have to duck to avoid a backhand. He wasn't fast enough to get out of the way of Ryoga's follow up kick. His ribs screamed in protest as he was launched sideways into a tree, bark and leaves raining down on him. He had to do something drastic, this was his life on the line. Ryoga was charging at him again, sure of his victory. Ranma hated what he was about to do, but it was life or death.

Ryoga's punch flew, Ranma caught his wrist then spun on his heal, bringing Ryoga's straitened arm elbow first across the back of his neck. He heard the snap as he forced Ryoga's arm fold the wrong direction. As Ryoga screamed, Ranma released his hold, and continued his spin while dropping to a knee. He caught Ryoga's ankle and stood quickly, dropping the lost boy as he stepped over his rivals body, twisting the foot until he heard the grind of bones breaking. He followed it up by locking his leg around Ryoga's knee and sat down, folding it backwards as well.

“ARRRGH! RANMA, YOU HONERLESS CAD!” Ryoga screamed in pain.

Ranma backpedaled quickly, regaining his feet and started staggering away, back towards the dojo, ignoring Ryoga's curses. He did his best not to think about the injuries he'd just dealt to his rival and sometimes friend.

“I feel I'm ready. Beam me down Scotty.”

“What?” Draco asked, perplexed.

“Met Urd earlier. She helped me find the info I needed.” Dragonis smiled.

“And the Star Trek reference?”

“Well, after I got the info, I wanted to test out the new parameters I'll be operating under. Urd showed me to the training room. Referenced it as the Holodeck, so I asked about it. That's one cool piece of technology. The slow time affect in particular.”

“I knew I shouldn't have let her change her transport method to TV's.?” Draco mussed allowed.

“Transport method?”

“Ah, yes. Forgot about that.” Draco snapped his fingers. Right, well, all the gods have their own method for near instantaneousness travel around the world when they are there. You'll have to pick one. Bell-chan has mirrors, Urd has TV's, Skuld has water. Do you have a preference.”

“Shadows.” Dragonis answered promptly. “I always have had a certain affinity for them.”

“Oh yes. I forgot about you being a Shadow Dancer back home. All right, it's done. Just focus on shadow jumping like you regularly do, but toss a little divine power in.”

“Gotcha.”

“And Dragonis,” Dragonis paused, “Good luck.” Dragonis smiled, gave a jaunty solute, and traveled to earth.

Ranma was almost at the dojo. Just a few more blocks.

“Hold Varlet!”

“Damn.” Ranma closed his eyes as he cursed, before opening them again to see Kuno blocking his path, boken out and ready.

“It is my good fortune to find you, foul sorcerer! This night I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furikan High shall smite thee down and free the beauteous Akane Tendo and the fiery pig tailed girl from thy vile clutches! Let the moon bear witness as I unveil my newest technique, learnt after the last time your cowardly running allowed you to escape my clutches! This sword of mine burns with an awesome power. It tells me to destroy you!” He held his boken high and it began to glow with ki as lightning flashed behind him.

Ranma stared. Did he just rip off Gundam! His shock nearly cost him as Kuno brought his wooden blade down in a chop, the ki discharging from the tip as he swung, flying at Ranma in a crescent of light. Ranma dodged left, eyes wide. Kuno had finally learned a ki attack.

“Hold knave, and receive thy just punishment!” Kuno's sword slashed sideways sending another blade of ki at Ranma who dove under it towards Kuno. If he could get in close, he could neutralize Kuno's ranged attack. He came up a few feet from the crazed kendoist ready to strike, but found himself taking the full brunt of another ki blast. Kuno had thrust this time, sending hi ki out like a bullet shot. Ranma was sent flying back through a wall.

Kuno advanced on Ranma, The dust cleared allowing him to see Ranma curled into the fetal position. The blast had been to much for the ribs injured earlier by Ryoga. “And so it ends, foul sorcerer.” Kuno intoned as he raised his blade high. It flared with energy and he brought it slashing down, victory in his eyes.

To be continued...