Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ To Become a God ❯ Return To Nerima ( Chapter 4 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer – I own very little in this world. Sadly, Ranma ½, Ah! My Goddess, Bleach, and Rurouni Kenshin are not among my meager possessions. I wish they were.... but then again, I wish for a lot of things. DAMN YOU JIMMINY CRICKET! YOU LIED TO ME! BURN IN HELL YOU GODDAMN BUG! Well, I'm done. Enjoy the chapter.

Authors Note = I’d like to point out that Dragonis may be a God, but, in a world with multiple deities, that doesn’t mean he’s all knowing. His opinion is just that. His opinion. Doesn’t mean he’s always right… just most of the time.

Also, the line “Yeah, but can you kick my ass?” is from Jeff “One Shot” Wong and his Won't Die series. They rock, go read them... NOW! Keep on reviewing. When you catch things I missed, I tend to make those corrections and repost. Thank you.

Return To Nerima

“Why. You aren't responsible for everyone else's actions. Akane malleted you, Ryoga and Kuno injured you. I whisked you away, and you were unconscious for a week. Screw 'em.” Dragonis said with finality. “You want to learn how to win every unimportant argument, Ranma? If they try to pull their shit, just say, 'Yeah, but can you kick my ass.'”

Ranma chuckled. I think I'm gonna like my new sensei. Ranma left the large manor, and looked about to get his bearings. He didn't seem to be too far from Furikan High School, so he turned, hopped up on the fence, and started back to the Tendo dojo. As Ranma walked along the fences of Nerima, he found himself caught up in is own thoughts.

His new sensei's plan could work. The fact that he had come up with it off the cuff like that humbled Ranma. Truly, this Dragonis must be a master of the mental arts himself. But could Ranma really go through with it? Could he be that cut-throat?

There was Genma. Fat, lazy bastard had dragged Ranma off on a ten year training journey that, while effective, was more a ten year torture trip. Fighting his own father for food, running from wolves with all their possessions as well as his father on his back, tied to the back of a moving train, thrown off cliff faces to learn how to fall, sold off as a fiancé to feed his fathers stomach more times than he could count, neko-ken, curse. Most of Ranma's own problems could be traced back to the fat panda. Take the Saotome branch of the school from him? Damn right he could.

Taking the grand mastery from Happosai wasn't even a question. Happosai had proved himself incapable of acting honorably. The pervert could fry in hell for all Ranma cared. Of course he could take the school and turn it into something to be proud of.

But could he really take the clan from his mother, Nodoka. She was his Mom! She loved and cared for him... didn't she? What did he really know about Nodoka Saotome? She was a traditional Japanese woman who seemed to lack common sense, and sanity. To start with, she had married his father, Genma. Then she had allowed Genma to take her only son away at a young age and accepted a seppuku contract in his place to make him a “man amongst men”. Sadly her idea of a manly man was a pervert. Could he take the clan from her? To restore it's honor, hell yes!

Did Ukyo deserve to have her hopes crushed. Ukyo had been his best childhood friend, even if he had thought she was a boy at the time. Genma had stolen her dowry and ditched her on the side of the road. She had been stripped of her femininity and forced to live as a boy by her father. Honor demanded she either kill him and Genma, marry him, or be cast out of her family a ronin. As head of the clan, he could adopt her. But would she allow him to try, or go right to the violence. If she did, could he put her in jail, even for her own safety?

He could admit to himself that Shampoo was his own fault. He should have made Genma fight his own challenge after he'd eaten the prize for the tournament at the amazon village. Instead he'd battled Shampoo, in his cursed form, and won. By the law of her village she swore to hunt Ranma-chan to the ends of the world and kill her. Then he'd defeated her by accident as a guy, and by law she had to marry him. He was responsible for her getting cursed to turn into a c-c-c... those things that chase mice. That wouldn't be so bad, but the nut bar had actually fallen in love with him.

He liked Shampoo just fine, on the rare occasions that she dropped the insanity and just acted normal. Cologne was alright, when she was teaching him techniques, but she refused to teach him anymore, using the skills as the bait to return him to china. When Dragonis had described their actions up to now as attempted murder, kidnap, and rape, it had opened Ranma's eyes. He was right, and he could not let this continue. The amazons were either going home without him willingly, or they were getting deported!

Akane was a different kettle of fish. She hated him. She used to have a sweet, kind side, but it had slowly faded. Vanishing after the failed wedding. He thought once that he had loved her. He'd killed a freaking GOD for her. But did it matter. Hell no. she treated him like shit. Unfortunately, family honor demanded he marry the abusive twit she had become. A promise to join the schools made between Soun and Genma before either had been born, probably after liberal amounts of sake. As soon as he had grand mastery and the title of clan head, that shit was done. Over with. Good-fucking-bye!

Then there were the rivals. Oh yes, can't forget the bloody rivals. Moose, an Amazon male who's only ambition in life was to kill Ranma and take Shampoo as his wife. Lets forget that Shampoo hates him as much as Akane hates Ranma. The blind hidden weapons master believed that if he killed Ranma, Shampoo would proclaim her love for him.

Ryoga, the eternally lost boy. Cursed to turn into Akane's pet piglet. Everything that went wrong in his life was, naturally, Ranma's fault. He wanted Akane. He could have her for all Ranma cared. She treated him better anyway, in cursed form or not.

Then there was the obsessive Tatewaki Kuno...

“Hold Varlet!”

Ah! Speak of the devil. Ranma ceased his increasingly angry introspection.

“Come then, foul sorcerer, I the Blue Thunder of Furikan High shall save the tigress Akane Tendo, and the Pig-Tailed Goddess from your Vile clutches! Have at thee!”

Ranma flipped lazily over the kendoists initial attack and prepared to put him down, again, when suddenly he had a idea. It was so crazy it might just work. What was it Dragonis had said? “They're delusional. Use it.”

“Ah! Sempai, at last I've found you! I require help that only one as noble and powerful as you can give!” Ranma shouted in his best Kunoese. Kuno stopped dead in his tracks, stupefied.

“Huh?”

“Indeed! Listen closely sempai, for I do not know how much time I have. I have been placed under an enchantment to make me behave as the beast you thought me to be. The true foul sorcerer is none other than Genma Saotome!”

“Ha! That I would believe such lies.” Kuno scoffed.

“But it is true Lord Kuno!” Ranma kicked it up a notch, “The demon sought to gain himself a dojo, from Soun Tendo, by forcing the fierce tigress Akane and this unworthy one to wed against our will. When I refused he placed a most horrible enchantment on me to force my pursuit of her.”

“But what of the pig-tailed girl? Why do you hold her in your clutches?”

Ranma smirked to himself inwardly. The fool was listening. “My twin sister! Alas, for it is a most horrible story!”

“Twin Sister!” Kuno shouted in shock

“Indeed! I broke his enchantment upon me most recently and he restored it by sacrificing my beloved twin sister.”

“Sacrifice! The Pig-Tailed Goddess!” Tatewaki exclaimed in a rage.

“He sealed away her soul and imprisoned her form within my own. It can now only be viewed when I am hit with cold water. I can prove it to you.” Ranma exclaimed. This was the tricky part. “I require your help to save us all. We need to break the enchantments on myself and the rest of the Tendo household, as well as separate my sisters body from my own and recover her very soul!”

Tatewaki gazed at Ranma speculatively. “Such a story is impossible to accept...”

“I can prove it to you sempai. Just give me a chance!” Ranma pleaded with what he hoped sounded a desperate voice.

“I will allow you to try, but I warn you Saotome, if you are lying...”

“Please, you must save my sister the pig-tailed girl!” Ranma hopped the fence and walked up to the canal on the other side. Kuno followed. “Watch closely sempai.” Ranma stepped into the water and changed into his cursed form.

“Pig-Tailed Girl!” Kuno exclaimed

“Alas no, sempai. Merely her body for the Foul Sorcerer Genma Saotome has done this. I may return to my own body with warm water.” Ranma pulled a thermos out of stuff space and poured it over her head after stepping out of the canal, instantly reverting to his male form. “Only you can save us from this evil spell so that she may shower her affection upon you.” Please let it work prayed Ranma

“This is so... it cannot be...” Kuno looked gob smacked. Ranma had him, hook, line, and sinker. Now to cap the performance.

“AAAARGH!” Ranma clutched at his head, falling to his knees. “The spell! I can not fight it much longer!” he started bringing up his battle aura, then pushing it down so that a blue light seemed to flicker about his body. “Sempai! You must break Genma's spell! But beware, for he is a sneaky evil, and will use others to shield himself. The foul sorcerer can change his form to that of a large pandaAAAAHHH!” He brought his aura up to the visible spectrum, ringing himself in blue light, “I can hold it back no more! Please Lord Kuno!” suddenly Ranma flared his aura out a foot from his body and blanked his face, then drew his aura back into himself before looking up at Kuno with his trademark smirk.

“So young Saotome thinks to get help in his plight does he.” Ranma said in his best evil voice. “Well it won't work. Master Genma will prevail.” With that Ranma launched himself at Kuno and pummeled him into unconsciousness. Hope that worked. He thought as he walked away, a spring in his step. Either way, that was fun.

The Tendo Dojo was actually a rather nice, if small, compound. Still, it was a large place comparatively. The house was two stories with five bedrooms and it's own furo, while the backyard was spacious, with a koi pond and a tree. It also had it's own dojo, connected to the house via covered walkway. The entire building and yard surrounded by a tall wall with a large gate at the front.

One of the things Ranma had always taken for granted was that Nabiki was doing all that business to help support the family. After all, Soun didn't teach in their dojo, and no one else worked, so obviously they had no money coming in. But now, he was thinking. If two masters could live with him for as long as they had, without detection, then what else had he missed.

There was no way that Nabiki could make enough on her petty schemes to pay for this compound. Soun was on the town council. They had repairs done almost constantly, and they showed no real strain paying for it. No. Nabiki was definitely not paying for the compound. Ranma hopped over the wall and landed in the Tendo compound, still deep in thought.

“Hey, we been waiting for you!”

“Huh?” Ranma looked up, then blinked. Twice.

The entire Tendo compound had been reworked to look like a gingerbread house. Genma, in panda form, seemed to be imprisoned in a giant gummy bear, Akane was trussed up in what appeared to be a cotton candy web, Soun was in a cage that was made out of large sticks of pocky, Shampoo seemed to be in the center of a man sized s'more, and Ryoga was hog-tied with taffy rope.

The culprits of this confusing conundrum of confections were congregating in the corpus delicti. There was a man wearing samurai armor made out of gummies sitting across the shogi board from a women in a pink dress made out of cotton candy. A guy in a baseball outfit stood nearby speaking quietly to a buxom Swedish backpacker who was nibbling on a candy bar. The man who had addressed him wore bands of pocky around his wrists and arms with two crisscrossing belts full of pocky around his waist, and held a giant pocky stick longer than he was tall, and as thick as a Bo staff. Kasumi seemed to be serving tea to the gummie man and cotton candy girl. Leave it to her to, once again, be untouchable. Wonder where Nabiki is.

It was obvious to Ranma exactly what had happened. These five were challengers using some forms of obscure martial arts candy attacks. They had already wiped the floor with his family and friends. Their was only one thing to do,but first...

“Come on pop! Defeated by candy! This should've been an easy win for ya! Ya been trainin' fer this fight yer whole life!” Ranma said. The panda encased in gummie bear tried to appear indignant. “Riiiiight, well, I'm Ranma Saotome. I assume y'all came ta challenge me.”

“Yes. We heard you defeated Ukyo Kuonji, mistress of the Okonomiyaki Arts.” Ranma mouthed okonomiyaki arts disbelievingly to himself. “If you could defeat her, then we demand the right to challenge you!”

“Fine, fine.” Ranma waved them off. “One at a time, or all at once?”

The poky man smirked. “We've been watching your fights for a month now. We know that these fools were a challenge to you, but we defeated them with ease. One at a time will be fine.”

Ranma bit back a retort. If these guys wanted to insult his skill like that, he wouldn't take it easy on them. They were going down. Painfully.

“Oooh, oooh, lemme fight him! Please, please please!” the cotton candy girl hopped in place. She was actually quite good looking, she reminded Ranma of a big breasted and sexier looking Wendy from that American burger franchise. In a cotton candy dress that showed off far too much cleavage to be decent. “You guys got to have some fun, all I got was that tomboy.” she pouted while Akane went into a fit of rage in the cotton candy web she'd been tangled in.

“Sounds fine Charlotte.” The poky man said. “Have fun.” He stepped back and joined his friends to watch the show. Ranma adopted his standard lazy posture stance, hands in pockets, and slouched stance.

“Ha! I am Charlotte, the master of the Cotton Candy Ryu! If you can't defeat me, you don't stand a chance against the Flavorful Five!” she struck a pose, hands on hips, winking at him, while the gummie guy and the baseball guy held up a large Japanese flag behind her and the backpacker and poky guy threw confetti. “Long we have trained in the candy martial arts. We...”

“Hey! We gonna fight or talk. Geez! Yer putt'n me ta sleep.” Ranma interrupted.

“How rude! I'm trying to give our introduction here!”

“Don't care. Let's get this fight outa the way. Got things to do.”

“Why you! No decorum whatsoever, Why I...”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Ranma waved off nonchalantly, “That's great, but can you kick my ass?”

“That's it!” Charlotte screamed, “Cotton Candy Surpriiiiieeeeeeee!” Splash!

Ranma wasn't about to let her get off whatever it was she was going to do. When she was calling out her attack, he blurred forward, grabbed her by the front of her dress, and tossed her into the koi pond. Charlotte came up sputtering indignantly, until she realized her cotton candy dress had dissolved in the water.

“Eeeeek!” she shrieked, going red as a tomato and trying to cover her ample bosom.

“Tch. If yer gonna fight, ya should get rid of obvious weaknesses like that.” Ranma lazily held up a hand, generating a baseball sized ball of ki and, with a negligent flick of his wrist, sent it screaming at the embarrassed woman in the pond.

BOOM!

“Damn you Saotome!” Charlotte's voice trailed off as she disappeared in LEO. Ranma looked at his still smoking hand. That was more powerful than usual. Have I been running on empty so long... He snapped out of his thoughts as the remaining Flavorful Five snapped out of their shock.

“YOU WILL NOT GET AWAY WITH THAT!” they shouted in unison.

“Garrett of the Gummie Ryu!” the man with Samurai armor made out of gummies whipped out a large gummie worm, snapping it like a whip. He took a stance, left side forward, whip at ready.

“Terry of the Taffy Ryu!” the man dressed in a baseball outfit whipped out a string of taffy, spinning it about like Jacki Chan with a rope with weights on either end. He too took a stance, taffy rope at the ready, right side forward, his back to Garrett.

“Sherry of the S'more Ryu!” the buxom Swedish backpacker said, pulling out a giant marshmallow and spinning it like a basket ball, before slamming an equally giant gram cracker into the ground between her two companions, like a shield, and taking her place behind it.

“Perrin of the Pocky Ryu!” the poky man said, spinning his poky staff about in a manner reminiscent of Bruce Lee before he, too, took up a stance. Taking a knee in front of the gram cracker shield, poky staff held horizontally behind his back, chocolate side out, one hand on the ground.

“WE WILL AVENGE CHARLOTTE OF THE COTTON CANDY RYU! PREPARE TO DIE SAOTOME!” they shouted in unison.

“Only in Nerima.” Ranma sighed. The candied sentai squad sprang into synchronized action. Garrett swung about his gummie worm, trying to ensnare Ranma. Terry spun in eye blurring swirls and acrobatic hops, spinning out his Taffy rope like a pro, trying score a hit on his elusive prey, Sherry stayed back, flinging her giant marshmallows at her target, leaving a trail of white sugar puff pastry along the Tendo compounds wall as she missed. Perrin launched a barrage of pocky at Ranma, like a ninja machine gun shooting kunai. Oddly enough, while he seemed to be missing every shot, only a few were actually planting themselves into the Tendo wall behind his target.

Ranma, however, was actually starting to enjoy himself. It was easy for him to dodge around the melee attacks, and ducking those big marshmallows wasn't much of a problem. But the real reasons he was having fun were two fold.

First off, he was now field testing a technique he had been working on for a while now. The Saotome Style Hidden Weapons Technique, as he had unofficially named it. He'd seen Mousse use the hidden weapons technique enough to replicate it, but it was pretty limited.

Mousse created a ki fold with a particular twist to close it and keep it closed, then linked it to an opening in his clothing. A pocket, or sleeve most commonly. The problem was that it only had one linked space per opening, and there was no organization within the fold. Rather like a storage locker that just had stuff thrown into it.

Mousse was a master or the style by virtue of the fact he could open many pockets of varying sizes. The insides of his wide sleeved cloak were lined with pockets to give him more control over what he flung at an opponent. Take away all his pockets and openings, and he couldn't use the style.

Ranma had figured out how to create a multi pocketed ki fold, with each pocket closed with a different ki twist so he could identify them easily. He'd also figured out how to link it to his hands directly, instead of linking the ki to a ready made opening in his clothes. Make a circle with a thumb and a finger and his ki fold was accessible.

He had a different ki fold linked to each combination of fingers, thumb and pointer, thumb and ring finger, thumb and middle finger, etcetera, etcetera. Both hands. And each ki fold had four pockets. He was busily filling some of them with pocky, catching them right out of the air and dropping them in stuff space for later.

Which leads to the second reason he was happy. This guy was throwing a lot of pocky at him. He'd be good on snacks for a long time to come if this kept up!

Ranma was surprised by the speed of his opponents. How could his rivals and friends fall to these fools? They moved in slow motion. Sadly, that was when one of the marshmallows impacted him, covering him from the knees up in sugary goodness.

“Ha! Got him!” Sherry whooped. A gram cracker impacted on his ankles, knocking him over on top of it, then Sherry slamming a giant bar of chocolate (Swiss, of course) on top of him. Sherry put on a welding helmet from her backpack along with a flame thrower.

Fwooooooosh

In seconds the chocolate and marshmallow were melty, so she turned off the flame thrower and slammed another giant gram cracker on top.

“That'll teach him to mock our schools!” she said smugly.

“Ya know.” a voice came from behind her, “I think the flame thrower was a bit much.”

She spun around and found herself blinded by a bright blue light.

“Mouko Takabisha.” Ranma said flatly as he released his collected energy. The blast sent another of the candied champions into lower earth orbit.

“What the...”

“How the hell...”

Garrett and Perrin looked at each other, then back at Ranma. Ranma was whistling innocently while rocking back and forth on the soles of his feet. Garret and Perrin looked over at the giant s'more. Terry 's arms, legs, and head were now poking out, his eyes had gone swirly and steam was rising off of him.

“What just happened?” Perrin asked, Garrett nodded his head.

“That is... a secret!” they face planted. No need for them to know about his newest technique.

“Enough of this! You will fall, Saotome!” This time Garrett let loose a barrage of gummie bears while Perrin attacked with his pocky staff. Ranma gleefully dodged the staff while squirreling away gummie treats.

“Damn you, hold still!” Perrin shouted in frustration.

Crunch!

Perrin retracted his staff to find a huge bite taken out of the end. He sweat dropped as his eyes twitched up to look at Ranma, who was busily chewing. Letting out a scream of inarticulate rage, Perrin charged forward, swinging like a berserker.

“Damn it, Perrin, I can't get a shot in with you there!” Garret shouted.

“My staff! You bastard!”

“Hey, that was some good pocky!” Ranma said, happily. Perrin became a whirlwind of strikes and swings, kicking up a dust cloud. Garrett was less than pleased when both combatants were obscured.

“How the hell am I supposed to snipe him if I can't see him?”

The sound of a chainsaw reverberated about the Tendo compound, and when the smoke cleared, Ranma was wiping his mouth clean and Perrin was holding a pocky stick, minus about four foot of chocolate covered end.

“That was good.” Ranma smiled. He cocked back his fist and with a loud “Kiya!” sent Perry the pockyless into LEO via uppercut. As Ranma dusted his hands off, Garret made his move.

“Gummie Golem!” Garret launched a gummie bear at Ranma. As it flew towards him, it grew, expanding to just a bit bigger than Genma in Panda form. “Bwahahahahaha! You can't hope to defeat this! The Gummie Golem is the highest level art of the Gummie Ryu! It is unbeatable!”

“We'll see about that.” Ranma said, rushing forward he delivered a mighty blow to its large round stomach. Ripples cascaded outward from the point of impact, but it did no damage to the Golem.

“My Golem is impervious to harm. No mere punch will fell it.” Garrett gloated.

“Kachu Tenshin Amagurikan!” one second and 800 punches later Ranma found himself looking at an unharmed, but very ripply gummie bear. “Well, shit.”

“Ranma, language.” Kasumi gently admonished from the living room as she set out tea for after the battle.

“Sorry Kasumi.” Ranma called as he dodged a clumsy swing from the Golem's gummie paw.

“Golem! Eat him!” Garrett ordered. The Golem lunged forward with surprising speed, enveloping Ranma with in it. “I win!” Garrett capered around the yard, “No one can defeat the Gummie Ryu Ultimate Technique: Gummie Golem! Bwahahahahahaha!”

Suddenly the Golem burst apart, sending large chunks of melting goo all over the yard. Ranma stepped forward and bitch smacked Garret.

“That was your ultimate technique? Don't make me laugh.”

“But how? You were captured! I had you!”

“Your weapon was made out of gummie! I raised a hot battle aura and melted it, bursting it apart from the inside.” Ranma explained.

“But, but, but...”

“Ah, shut up already.” Ranma sent Garret to join his friends in LEO. “Don't worry Kasumi, I'll get the yard cleaned up.” Ranma called out, before dragging gummie Genma out into the yard and melting him free. “C'mon Pops. All the free eats we could want.”

The night sky was beautiful. So open. So welcoming. Ranma imagined he could simply fall into the sky and wander forever. Sadly, he could not. He was shackled down, here, in Nerima. Ranma sighed to himself. After his rivals and fiancés were freed, he'd been given the third degree.

“Baka! Where were you?”

“We thought the schools would never be joined!”

“Boy, you should make this up to your fiancé by marrying her right now!”

“Airen take Shampoo on date now, yes?”

“Damn you Saotome! For worrying Akane, prepare to die!”

Same crap, different day. Everything had escalated, resulting in a high speed chase around Nerima. After he'd lost them, by leading them into the horde of woman chasing Happosai to get back their underwear, he'd returned home and settled on the roof to think.

He'd been working on a technique he'd seen in Naruto, where some one could switch places with a thrown kunai. Some thought that his doll replacement technique did the same thing, but they were wrong. With doll replacement, he would pull a doll out of stuff space, put it in line with the attack, and use doll, and attack as a blind to move away without being noticed.

No, this new technique, he called it Instant Substitution, allowed him to switch places with a target. He'd learned how to “tag” things with his ki, marking them for the switch. At first, he could only switch when he was touching the object, then he'd worked it up to the point where he could do it from five feet away. It always had to be inanimate, and it couldn't be connected to it's surroundings, like trees or flagpoles. It was always draining.

But that had been before the week of rest at Dragonis home. With his ki refilled, he discovered he could “jump” several blocks, he could switch with living things, as he'd done with Terry of the Taffy, and he could switch with things connected to their environment if he poured enough ki into it.

He'd accidentally tagged a light pole on the chase and didn't have time to tag anything else, so he powered through it. Good to know, but not something he wanted to repeat. Too much trouble.

It seemed as though everyone had decided that his week of absence was a training trip, and he was okay with that. Better than them knowing the truth, that they'd run him ragged. Although, as a side result, he had grown more powerful thanks to the seven month “Attack Ranma At Every Opportunity” spree.

He kept draining his ki, then letting it recharge only a fraction before having to drain it again, working to the edge over and over every day. His ki well had nearly doubled in size from the constant exercise. His strength, speed, toughness, and stamina had also skyrocketed as a result of him getting into fights without being able to enhance any of them with his ki.

Ranma was more than eager to test his new limits tomorrow on the old man during their morning spar. Then he'd go train with Dragonis. New moves beckoned to be learned. For the first time in a long time, Ranma was excited about the days ahead.

“Ranma!” Kasumi called up to him, “Dinner is ready!”

“Be right there, Kasumi!” he called back. With one last look at the stars, Ranma flipped lightly to the ground and joined the others for dinner.

To be Continued...