Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Tribal Sisters ❯ A Kiss of Marriage ( Chapter 2 )

Genma crept into his daughters’ room. He had a teakettle in one hand, a bucket in the other, and he had had enough. Neko would return to male form whether she liked it or not. He intended to remove the magic bracelet, drench her in hot water, and then turn himself into a mountain lion. With Ranmas’ fear of cats he would not dare challenge Genma again.

Genma carefully put the bucket and the kettle down on the dresser beside the futon and lifted the covers. Something was wrong. The futon was empty and looked like it had not been slept in. He looked around the room. There were carefully folded clothes in the dresser, a make-up kit, a collection of rare herbs used in Amazon spells, a diary, a copy of Japanese for tourists, but there was no sign of Neko. Finally he heard a slight purring noise and looked up. There was Neko curdled in a ball, atop the bookshelf, purring like a kitten. As soon as he saw her, the girl snapped awake and startled Genma with a cheerful "Good Morning Papa! Mew." Genma leaped back, hitting the dresser, and knocking over the bucket. Cold water spilled on the old martial artist. "Kitty Mew," the girl squealed as she jumped to her transformed father with glee. Though Neko had accepted that she is human since getting stuck in the Nekoken, it still seemed perfectly normal to her to find that her father was a mountain lion. She patted the cat, and rubbed its belly in ways she herself had liked to be rubbed when she had a housecats mind. The old lion just sighed and played along.

Soon after the Tendos’ awoke to the sound of pans clattering in the kitchen. Apparently Neko was making good on her promise to do all the housework. The cooking was great, though her tastes were a bit odd. Particularly, she felt a meal was incomplete without fish and creamy milk, also all the recipes she knew where Chinese style.

"Oh, Ranma," Genma casually spoke, "I’m going to enroll you to attend Akanes highschool."

This time he had her Genma thought. He would register Neko as a boy named Ranma, then she would have to go as such.

"No need Papa! Great Grandma enroll Neko online. Mew." She then proceeded to show her father her transcripts, and a student card, which listed her as Neko of Amazon tribe and female. "Neko is ready to start school today." The girl seemed excited. She had always been privately tutored in the tribe, and had no recollection of ever attending a public school.

"I didn’t think you would have Internet in the village," Nabiki commented.

"No Internet in village. Mew. Great Grandma journey for full day to find library in outsider village with public DSL. Mew."

"Akane, c’mon. Mew. Neko does not wish to be late for first school day. Mew." Neko was dressed in a school uniform that Kasumi had lent her.

The two girls started walking together, and soon broke into a jog, then a fast run. "Uh Neko," Akane spoke, "There are gonna be some guys attacking me when we enter the school gates. Don’t worry about it, just let me handle them."

"Okay Akane. Mew."

To Neko this sounded perfectly natural. After all, in her mind Akane was a fellow Amazon, and therefore bound to marry any outsider that defeats her. In fact, when the entire male student body of the school, and about three girls waited to ambush her Neko actually felt proud to have such a popular sister. Akane charged into the storm of males chanting I hate boys over and over as she pummeled each one. When the dust settled Neko looked on, slightly impressed to see that none had proven worthy of her sister. Akane remained in a fighting pose, knowing that he would approach at any moment. Suddenly Akane sensed it, a projectile being hurdled towards her. She caught the object in midair. Even after all this time Akane half expected it to be a rose, like the ones Kuno had given her every morning for over a year, but no, it was another okanomiyaki.

"Good morning Ukyo," Akane chimed.

Ukyo Kuongi. Apparently has a grudge against the Saotomes because of a stolen family Okanomiyaki cart. He came to Nerima to challenge them 3 months ago. The boy seemed strangely distraught to hear that Ranma was missing in China. Ukyo, failed to defeat Genma in battle (don’t laugh, he was a giant mountain lion at the time) and remained in Nerima to train for a rematch, or run an Okanomiyaki shop. At this time Akane already had her morning schoolyard ritual, but a boy named Kuno ran it. Unlike Ukyo, Kuno just wanted to date her. When Ukyo heard from Nabiki that the Tendo and Saotome families were supposed to have been united by an arranged marriage he became strangely upset, calling Ranma a two-timer for reasons unknown. Ukyo then beat up Kuno, and took his place as Akanes head tormentor. Thoughts of revenge against the Saotomes led him to organize these attacks against Akane every single morning since. Ukyo pretty much ran the school. Even the principle had learned to fear him, after a bad haircut. At the beginning Akane thought he seemed more reasonable than Kuno was, but lately Ukyo’s’ delusions made her miss the old blue thunder.

Ukyo crept out from behind a tree and gave a simple morning nod to Akane. In response she turned her nose up and walked right by him. She was not in the mood to put up with that lunatic. Neko followed, giving a smile to Ukyo as though everything was perfectly normal. "Who’s this," the spatula-carrying boy asked. "I am Neko. Mew. Neko is new here. Mew. Neko is staying with Akanes family. Mew." Ukyo nodded, about to let her pass then suddenly his eyes went wide. "What is your relation to the Saotomes," he demanded to know. "Well, Genma is Nekos’ Papa. Mew." "Impossible," Ukyo retorted. "Genma had only one son, and he was lost in the mountains of China." It was almost time for class so Neko just said it was complicated and she would explain later. Ukyo demanded them to explain immediately but the bubbly girl just smiled again and went off looking for her homeroom class.

"Minions," Ukyo yelled into thin air. Suddenly Kuno and Gosunkugi appeared out of the bushes and bowed before their master. "Follow that red haired girl," he demanded. "It shall be done lord Ukyo," they responded in unison. The two men ran off into the school.

Was there a hint of sarcasm in Kunos’ voice, Ukyo wondered? He would have to remind him who his leader is. Kuno was particularly difficult to control. Once she left town for a weekend, and when she came back the dope was already calling himself blue thunder again. If that boy gets even the slightest bit of self esteem it turns into egotistical narcissism overnight. Still that’s what made breaking him so much fun.

Neko entered her first classroom and sat down. Soon a flood of teenage boys surrounded her desk and began bombarding her with questions. Miss Hinako tried to restore order but her authority had been quite limited ever since Ukyo started having his minions confiscate all hoop shaped objects from her on a daily basis. You see the teacher has the unique ability to steal battle aura, which she uses as a discipline method. Without such objects the child teacher could not discipline the students, enter her adult form, or even buy lunch. Moreover, Kuno was in her class again. He was probably sent by that Ukyo thug to spy on Akane. Why can’t he just stay in his own homeroom? Gosunkugi and Ukyo already are assigned to this class. How many spies does it take to watch a girl? School had become very difficult for the tiny teacher.

"So Miss Neko, What is your favorite food?"

"Mackerel. Mew."

"What clubs do you plan to join?"

"Martial arts and cheerleading. Mew."

"What are your hobbies?"

"Fighting, making potions, and lounging in the sun. Mew"

"What kind of guys do you like?"

"Ones that can beat Neko in a fight. Mew."

Neko was very embarrassed and wished the teacher would regain control. Just as Hinako felt order was finally beginning to restore itself the wall on the opposite side of the room exploded.

Amidst the rubble stood Shampoo. Everyone immediately noticed the similarities in her clothes to those that Neko wore. There relation was confirmed when Neko squealed, "Big Sister Shampoo, you final come! Mew."

The two girls embraced, as they did Neko noticed she was holding a little black piglet in her left hand. "I catch this on way here. Make very tender cutlets." Poor Hinako was about to demand an explanation when suddenly the room filled with black rose petals and insane laughter. "OH HO HO HO HO." Kodachi the black rose appeared. She was wearing her trademark green leotard and held a gymnastics ribbon in one hand and a little electronic device in the other. "So you’re the one, who took my boyfriend," she accused, pointing at Shampoo and her pig. "To bad for you I had the vet implant a tracking microchip on him." Kodachi produced a teakettle, where she hid it on her outfit I couldn’t say, and poured water on the pig. Suddenly a naked Ryoga appeared before the class.

Everyone stared at the transformed boy, but nobody seemed particularly surprised. "Ryoga, where have you been?" Akane questioned. "Akane, I was on my way to our date," he said in a panicked voice, "but I took a wrong turn, got caught in the rain, and wound up on this girls estate as a pig. She tried to feed me to a pet crocodile but the pool was heated so I turned human and fought my way out. Then she started with this crazy boyfriend talk."

Akane just nodded as though she wasn’t surprised. She had known Ryoga for over a year. The details weren’t clear but apparently he had followed Ranma and Genma to China over some grudge with Ranma, and wound up with a pig curse. He then came to Nerima, still looking for Ranma. Ukyo made up some outrageous story that the mountain lion at the Tendo house was Ranma in a cursed form, so he attacked it. After defeating Genma, Kasumi showed him that it was Genma and not Ranma. He apologized, stayed for dinner and asked Akane to date him. She couldn’t really call it a relationship though, since Ryogas’ direction sense was so poor that statistically he could only find her four times a year. When he did find her she just took him on pity dates because of the boys incredibly rotten luck. Maybe Kodachis' microchip was a good idea.

"Give back my boyfriend immediately," Kodachi demanded.

"Okay, if he is human than no can eat anyway," Shampoo offered.

Kodachi was taken aback by how easily Shampoo backed down, but then a self satisfied smirk shot across her face. "Yes, surrender. After all a dirty little foreigner like yourself must at least know she has no business opposing the black rose of St. Heberike."

After hearing this Shampoo swung her bonbouri, launching the black rose of St. Heberike back to St. Heberike.

Ryoga thanked Shampoo, then went looking for a place to hide his nakedness. He wound up wondering into the girls’ change room, where Nabiki sold him some clothes at a bargain price. Akane picked up the little Ryoga tracking device Kodachi dropped, and the gang soon reunited. School was called on account of damage to the building and everyone went home.

"So your Genmas’ daughter," Ryoga asked.

"Yes. Mew." Neko replied.

"Do your know how I can find Ranma Saotome."

Neko looked deep in thought. She knew she had heard the name Ranma before but wasn’t sure where. Akane sweat-dropped with embarrassment. What a ditz. Neko had forgotten that she’s Ranma yet again. Still it was better Ryoga not know, he gets a little crazy whenever anyone mentions Ranma.

Ukyo stood on a nearby rooftop watching the four friends go about there business. Genmas’ daughter, she thought. It was because of Genma that Ukyo had to give up her womanhood. He had promised his own son in marriage then run away with their family business cart. The Kuonji family never fully recovered from the shame. It was Ranma she really wanted. After all the dope had promised himself to her, then betrayed her. But if Ranma wasn’t around, she would have revenge on all other Saotomes. Ukyo took out her Okanomiyaki making equipment then carefully made a Japanese pizza just for Neko, her last meal she thought. In anchovies she wrote, NEKO, BATTLE ME AT PARK, 6:00. Then with the skill of an Olympic discus thrower she hurled the tasty snack in Nekos direction.

Neko suddenly stopped. She smelled it coming towards her. Blessed wonderful fish, which she loved so very much. She grabbed the okanomiyaki just before it could strike her, and greedily took a large bite. Neko was about to take another when Akane stopped her and pointed out the writing on the pie. Her bite had cut off some of the message, What was left read, NEKO, …E ME AT PARK, 6:00.

"Oh wow, It must be from cute spatula boy who was starring at Neko all day. Mew. He must mean NEKO, DATE ME AT PARK, 6:00. Mew. Neko is so happy. Mew"

Akane warned her that Ukyo was probably planning to ambush her, but Neko enthusiastically replied "You think he want kiss of marriage so soon? Mew."

What the heck was she talking about now, Akane thought? "Look, Neko! Ukyo has a grudge against all Saotomes! He even picks on me just because Ranma was supposed to marry a Tendo." Akane warned, but Neko had already skipped off wondering what she would wear to her date.

At six O’clock exactly, Ukyo leaped from a tree at park. Hoping to catch Neko off guard, she wildly swung her spatula and charged. However all that managed to do was scare the children and pigeons away. Neko was nowhere in sight. "Minion," Ukyo demanded. Kuno appeared from the bushes. "Where is she?" Ukyo cried. "At our last sweep of the Saotome stronghold, she appeared to be applying some sort of war paint in preparation for battle."

Back at the Tendo dojo Neko was frantically fussing over a mirror. "How does big sister Shampoo make make-up look so easy? Mew. Neko is already late. Mew"

Genma, chuckled to himself, for he knew Ukyo’s’ little secret, and thought that a date with a girl might be just what was needed to re-maculate his son.

Back at the park Gosunkugi appeared from the bushes. "Sir, based on my surveillance, I believe Miss Neko had mistaken your challenge for a request to date her."

"Impossible, because she’s late, and no girl would stand me up." Ukyo replied. She then took a manly pose, but it only served to show off her soft dainty feminine features. Gosunkugi and Kuno stared at their master; secretly questioning her manhood and wondering if it was Ok to find her attractive.

Finally, Neko arrived. She wore a green undershirt, covered by a yellow coat with matching skirt, high heel shoes, and hair ribbon. The skirt was awkward, and the heels were at least 2 inches. Moreover, she was wearing make-up, not war paint. She obviously wasn’t ready for a fight.

"Neko is here. Mew. Has Ukyo senpai been waiting long? Mew."

Ukyo blushed. "Nah not long," she lied. Then she commanded her minions to not interfere and took a defensive stance.

"Sir if I might be so forward," Gosunkugi offered, "I’ve made a list of weaknesses you can exploit. You see based on information purchased from Miss Nabiki she has a cat like mind and…"

"Silence minion, do not interfere." Ukyo shouted.

She then jabbed and struck her spatula at Neko, but the girl dodged effortlessly, then with a single kick Ukyo flew into a nearby tree.

"On second thought, show me that list," Ukyo commanded.

Gosunkugi was so pleased. He was finally moving up the ladder. This was the first step to becoming head minion. His mother would be so proud. Ukyo glanced at the list. It read: CATNIP MICE FISH

Ukyo looked at her minion with disdain. Gosunkugi stood proudly, expecting praise. "I also took the liberty of preparing this," he announced. He then took out a remote control and pressed a red button. From the center of the battlefield a small landmine exploded. In the wake of the explosion hundreds of mice with catnip tied to there tails began scampering in all directions from the hole in the ground. As stupid as this was Ukyo was impressed that Gosunkugi had set it all up on such short notice. To everyone’s surprise Neko Mewed with pleasure and actually began chasing the mice. Ukyo walked casually through the chaos of the scampering mice towards Neko. She was running by her, on all fours, her mind totally fixated on a mouse she was chasing. With one blow of her spatula Ukyo knocked the distracted girl into submission.

Neko was groggy from the blow. She got up, and slowly looked around.

"Where is Ranma Saotome," Ukyo threatened.

Neko looked at Ukyo, and gave a slight purr. Then she slowly got up, grabbed her shoulders and pulled Ukyo into an embrace. "Wo Ai Ni. Mew" (it’s you I love), she softly spoke as Neko pulled Ukyo forward into a gentle but long kiss.

Why was this girl kissing her? Did she really think this was supposed to be a date? Though Ukyo was actually a woman who bound her breasts, she had lived as a man for many years. This was not the first time her act was convincing enough to win a girls affections. Relying on her many years of experience she handled the situation in a tried and true method that would never fail. Ukyo broke the kiss and ran away as fast as she could.

The next day, Akane couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Neko had fallen, totally and completely fallen for Ukyo. I mean come on, not only was he a total jerk, but he didn’t even look like a guy. At this very moment Neko was fussing over a hot stove to make something special for her beloved Ukyo.

"Isn’t Dim Sum an unusual thing to make for a boyfriend." Akane asked.

"This is special Dim Sum. Mew. It is made from mushroom only found in Nihon province. Mew."

"What’s so special about it."

"Here, Akane try one. Mew."

It was only after she took a bite that Neko mentioned that the mushrooms were hypnotic. Soon Akanes eyes glazed over, and she fell into a deep trance.

"Now Akane, love all things Amazon! Mew. Whenever Akane hear hands clap, Akane will swear loyalty to Amazon tribe and think of how great Amazons are. Mew."

Clap. Clap.

"I swear allegiance to the Amazon tribe." Akane announced. "Hey, did you just brainwash me? Amazon brainwashing is so cool. I mean I’m mad that you did that, even though you’re a totally cool Amazon. I mean … Awe shoot."

Whenever Akanes anger won over Neko just clapped her hands again. After several claps Akane eventually gave in and went off to learn how to speak Chinese. The Amazon herbalist’s guide had a whole chapter on hypnosis ethics but Shampoo told her that it was a wasted read. Besides, she was merely giving culture to what she considered a less civilized people. Akane would probably thank her in the long run. Neko proceeded to put the same spell on Nabiki and Kasumi, then convinced her father that he was a panda just for fun. The Amazon cat girl then looked upon her handiwork: she saw Genma try to chew through some bamboo in the backyard, Kasumi sparring with Nabiki, and Akane was practicing her pronunciation. Satisfied Neko then went off to test her cooking on Nekos’ beloved Ukyo.

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I know Ukyo came off as a little dark. Remember in her first appearance of the manga she disguised herself as a boy and wanted revenge on Ranma. I just wanted to get the feel of an Ukyo who let her anger fester a little longer. She will lighten up in time. As for Kuno, I wanted to put him in a subservient role to counter his regular arrogance. Don’t worry the Blue Thunder persona is still fighting to get out. Finally as for my take on Gosunkugi, well he’s always been a shameless toady anyway.

Please, please, please review this. Send questions, comments, and suggestions to ataru85@uymail.com or use the mediaminer reviews section.