Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Umbra Aureola ❯ Chapter 06 - The Demon Returns ( Chapter 6 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

CHAPTER VI: THE DEMON RETURNS!


Deep in the frozen wastelands of the arctic an evil stirred. A wooden box twitched. Then it scooted a little. Finally in a powerful burst it shattered and a tiny humanoid shape stepped free of his wooden prison. It's powerful crimson battle aura reached into the sky, lending the frozen wastes a taste of hell fire.

"Ranma, Genma, Soun this time you have gone to far! I the master of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts shall have my revenge!" Happosai's tiny voice came out with enough power to shake the very earth. Truly his anger was a thing of legend.

Happosai paused, the earth continued the rumbling from the awesome power of his voice. Even Happosai had to admit that his anger was surprisingly potent, even for someone like him. Then Happosai noticed that the earth was still shaking, so he decided to take quick look around. He turned left as was promptly greeted by a rush of white, half a second latter he was imprisoned underneath a ton of cascading frozen water.


***************


"Aaachoo!" Ranma rubbed his nose.

"Coming down with a cold?" Anito asked, reading a small book.

"I don't get colds." Ranma replied.

"What about that cold Happosai gave you." Akane pointed out.

"Anything that the old freak can produce doesn't count."

"A cold is a cold." Anito said absently, flipping a page.

"Colds don't freeze water to ice before it can even touch you." Ranma replied crossly.

"Or boil water because you temperature gets so high." Akane said for once siding with her fiancee.

"Well then don't be giving me your cold." Anito said, effectively evading everything the two just said.

"Hey, come to think of it where is the old freak? I haven't seen him around." Ranma said.

"None of my panties or bras have gone missing all week." Akane said thoughtfully.

"Odd, I thought you only let Ranma borrow your clothes?" Anito said not lifting an eye from the small novel he was reading at arms length.

"I'm not going to wear that tomboy's underclothes!" Ranma yelled.

"What's wrong with my underclothes!" Akane yelled at Ranma.

"Well the bra is too small and -"

Ranma never finished as he was promptly reacquainted with good old mother earth. The favor being owed to the kitchen table wielded by Akane Tendo. "You Jerk!" Akane yelled with fervor. As Ranma recovered from the blow Akane gave out a "Humph!" and turned away from her fiancee.

Anito commented silently while this happened. "Like taking candy from a baby." He then flipped a page and sipped some of Kasumi's most excellently prepared tea.

Ranma sat back up with ease. To him Akane's attacks really amounted to nothing more than a less painful version of Ryoga's endurance training. Looking at his father Ranma decided to go with the more pressing question. "Hey, pops where did the old freak go?"

Genma laughed nervously. "The old master went on a training trip, right Soun?"

Soun laughed nervously as well. "Of course Saotome old friend. He just went on a long training trip."

Ranma cracked his knuckles menacingly. "Spit it out pops."

Genma waved his hand desperately. "Really, he just went on an extended training trip in Antarctica!"

Soun cringed in fear realizing what his dear friend had just admitted. Ranma though beat Soun to punch preventing the other man's tearful confession. Patting his father hard in the back with obvious pride Ranma said, "Didn't know you had it in you pops."

"Is this normal?" Asked Anito thoughtfully. His eyes though never did leave the book he was reading.

"5,000 yen." The second daughter said holding out her hand palm up to receive the money.

"Some questions are best answered with time." Anito replied mystically to Nabiki's offer. Then, while still reading his book Anito gained a slight smile. "Ah, yes that was twenty-five." Now he held out his hand palm up, one hand of course still held the book he was reading.

With the ruckus going on nobody noticed Nabiki and Anito's little interaction. That is except Kasumi who simple paused for a second to observe the transaction. Then she resumed cleaning saying to herself. "Oh good, Anito and Nabiki are getting along so well."

Nabiki picked up the newspaper. "Interesting, there was an outbreak of panty thefts in Juuban district, Tokyo yesterday." Nabiki commented as she read an article.

Both Genma and Soun began to laugh nervously at the shogi board upon hearing the news. "Tendo, I do believe it is your move." Genma said trying to act calm.

"Oh look, they have a little map showing the thief's projected path. Isn't that nice?" Commented Kasumi, looking over her sister's shoulder.

"Yes, apparently the Tokyo police department has put Nerima on a panty theft warning form 1:00 PM to 3:00 PM today." Nabiki said reading further into the news.

"Panty theft warning..." Akane and Ranma said at the same time.

The whole room paused as they collectively considered the deeper meaning of those words. Ranma and the others concluded correctly that the old master had been around far too long if the Tokyo police had started treating the old man as a natural disaster. Then again, given that the Tokyo police where mere humans there wasn't a whole lot else they could do about the old man. The only one not caught in this collective thought was Anito who seemed unaffected. Flipping a page on the book he merely said, "Odd." He did of course note that it was now 1:13 PM.

Breaking silent contemplation a voice called out. "Genma, Soun, Ranma you will suffer your master's wrath!" A diminutive human leapt into the room carrying a sack of newly acquired women's unmentionables. His battle aura blazed with his fury.

"Master please forgive us! Please forgive us!" Soun and Genma said executing the famed Saotome technique, Moko Rakuchi sei. The said technique consisted of rapidly bowing down to the old man while begging his forgiveness. It was perhaps one of the most effective techniques in Genma's arsenal. Well, only if you completely lacked any form of self respect. Which was to say, it was an excellent technique for both Soun and Genma.

"Don't think you will escape that easily this time!" Happosai said threateningly.

Nabiki bent down near her father. "I can take care of this for a small price of 50,000 yen."

"Anything!" Soun cried with tears of fear in his eyes.

"Nothing will stop me now! I will have my vengeance!" Happosai claimed while staring down at the offensive students.

Nabiki dropped a small bag of lingerie in front of the old man.

"Not even that will appease my anger now." Happosai didn't sound quite as convincing this time. The fact that he was eyeing the bag while he was trying to stare at his students didn't help matters much.

Nabiki dropped a stack of naughty magazines next to the collection lingerie.

"Genma, Soun how are my favorite students doing today!" Happosai exclaimed in a complete reversal. His eyes glistened with tears of happiness.

"Nothing will stop me now, huh?" Akane said.

"I just remembered all the terrible things I had done to them and decided to call it even." Happosai said in an unconvincing display. Unconvincing that is for anyone that knew the old man's wicked ways. Which was roughly half the Tokyo population.

"Sure, and the clothes and magazines had nothing to do with it." Ranma said rolling his eyes.

Ranma's voice apparently reminded Happosai of something. "Ranma! You will pay for your deeds against your master!"

"Hey! What did I ever do-" Ranma began.

Happosai promptly splashed Ranma causing an instant gender shift. He then begin to fish around in his newly acquired bag of women's lingerie.

"- to you?" Ranma-chan squawked finishing her sentence.

"Ranma! Put on this bra and your master will forgive you!" Happosai yelled chasing the now female Ranma-chan.

"Stay away from me you freak!" Ranma-chan squealed as Happosai pursued her with the bra dangling in one hand.

A table swung at the old man. Happosai dodged with ease and looked to locate his new attacker. "Akane!" He exclaimed with glee. Happosai promptly placed himself between the said girl's breasts.

"You, you pervert!" Akane yelled swinging a fist at the offensive object clasped on to her breasts. Her hand though stopped in a spasm only inches away from the old man's head.

Ranma bashed the old man to the side. Happosai promptly met a wooden pole full force and was flattened for the effort. Ignoring the demise of the old master Ranma asked, "You okay Akane?"

"I'm fine thank you! My arm just cramped up." Akane said, miffed at her presumed weakness. Ranma did notice that despite her words she was holding her right shoulder.

"Well that is not to be unexpected." Anito said.

"Huh?" Akane asked holding her arm.

"Your arm of course." Anito said still reading his book.

"What about my arm?"

"I was just pointing out that it wasn't unexpected that your arm cramped up."

"Why is that." Ranma asked carefully.

"She did, after all, beat you 49 times in the last two days with objects weighing at least 100 kg. Given that fact, it is not unexpected that her arm would cramp up." Anito commented while flipping a page on his book.

"Oh." Ranma said realizing that Akane had been quite uncharacteristically violent over the last two days. Usually, she only beat him three times a day.

"I did not!" Akane said doubtfully. Surely not even she could pound that jerk 49 times in two days. Not that he didn't deserve each and everyone of those poundings if she did!

"I am afraid it's true. You pounded him 24 times yesterday, and 25 today." Nabiki said.

"Well, not exactly." Anito explained shaking a finger absently. He of course, was still reading at this time. "The stated number of beatings is only accurate if one is counting only those beating which implemented the use of objects weighing over 100 Kg. In totality, without that factor, there was a total of 256 poundings attributed to one, Akane Tendo, in the last two days. Of those 256 poundings 131 of them occurred yesterday and 125 today."

Ranma nodded wisely. Yes, that would explain why he hurt so much during the last two days. But, why couldn't he remember that many beatings? It never occurred to Ranma that the concussions just might have had something to do with his lack of memory of the said events. Then again, maybe he just never bothered to store such regular events into memory.

"Hey, wait! Why would you know that!" Ranma and Akane suddenly asked at the same time.

"Well," Anito chuckled while smiling at the two. He was, finally, not reading while doing this action. "I like to keep tabs on things if you know what I mean..."

"Ranma! How dare you hit your master!" Happosai yelled interrupting the conversation. Which was probably a good thing if your name just so happened to be Anito. Apparently the old master had recovered from his earlier meeting with the wooden support pole. "Happo Dai karin!" Happosai yelled flinging three burning firecracker-bombs at the collected group.

The room exploded into smoke as the firecracker's went off inches away from Ranma's face. Akane had successfully scrambled to the side of the blast and as such was merely tossed to the other side of the room. The, amazingly, untouched Kasumi let out the characteristic, "Oh my." Nabiki, like Kasumi, was as usual untouched. Soun and Genma never lifted an eye away from the mysterious shogi board that seemed to change shape when they where not looking. Ranma, the target, was simply left twitching in a crater. Never mind the fact that the crater happened to be in the Tendo living room.

Anito, having avoided the attack with an already prepared shadow step held up the book he had been reading. The corners of the pages had been singed in the attack. "Do you know how hard it is to find this book?" Anito said with almost theatrical anger.

Nabiki leaned over and read the title. "Hmm, Flirting Paradise. Only a thousand copies where ever printed."

This did not registered on Happosai. With the old master's student punished for his crime Happosai was now carefully tending his pretties. Humming, softly he sorted them out with great care by category: lace, silk, sheer, full, and cup size. With such important matters at hand who had time to listen to some youngster rambling on about his book?

Anito stood behind the old man. Towering over the diminutive figure with his aura boiling up giving Anito the visage of an oni. Clinching his staff in his hands Anito proclaimed, "Old man, now you die."

Anito whipped his staff high into the air, as if it where a golf club, and struck at the old man with all his might. Power crackled along the length of the staff giving it a ominous glow. The staff slammed into the old man like a freight train, carrying enough power to send a martial artist through several rather thick brick walls. Then the staff promptly stopped.

Anito blinked startled. His staff, which could send people flying into the horizon had been stopped. Not merely stopped, it had been stopped by a single finger used by a rather tiny old man. While Anito tried to wrap his head around that concept the old man hooked the staff with his pipe and flicked his wrist. Anito flew in an upward spiral adding a new skylight to the Tendo Household.

In the background Anito crashed head first on one of the rocks around the koi pool. Happosai looked Tendos and asked. "Who is that youngster?"

"Some sort of Arch-mage, he showed up about a week ago." Akane replied in a matter of fact manner.


************


Later that night Anito rolled off his head, and onto his feet next to the infamous Tendo Koi pool. Shaking his head back and forth to pop the vertebrae back in to position the now recovered Arch-mage headed inside the Tendo Dojo. There in the Tendo and Saotome family was lazing about the family room watching the news on TV or doing other collective activities.

"Anito, could you bring up your laundry?" Kasumi asked nicely.

"Uh, sure" Anito said still not quite thinking strait from the devastating landing. He may have survived the bakusai tenketsu training, but he didn't do most of it in a conscious state. As such his toughness was not quite up to Ranma's or more especially Ryoga's standards.

As Anito wondered off on the TV could be overheard a bit of news. "Today the Japanese government voted into existence the Department of Abnormal Phenomena Containment. Representative Hitsuda what made you decide on this piece of legislation." The reporter on TV asked.

"Well recently the Nerima police department has had a barrage of complaints of super natural nature. Combined with those centered in Juuban Tokyo the Japanese government decided that a department created solely to deal with these strange cases was necessary. Hopefully, the DAPC will be able to gain the expertise to solve and prevent a future flood of such cases." Hitsuda smoothly replied to the reporter's question.

"That was Representative Hitsuda on the creation of the Department of Abnormal Phenomena Containment. Now we goto the Tokyo Chief of Police to hear what he has to say about the DAPC."

"The creation of the DAPC is an insult to not only the Tokyo police but to the intelligence of every Japanese citizen. That the government would give credibility, much less spend a ridiculously high amount of money, money better spent supporting legitimate police activity, on a bunch of rumor mongers shows how far our government has fallen. I think in the following years the error of this decision will be made clear." The Police Chief said with great vigor and apparent anger at the legislation.

"Your move Genma" Soun said after rearranging the board on his distracted friend. He was now in a firmly winning position.

Genma stared at the board carefully trying to figure out how he came to be losing when he was so sure a few seconds ago that he was winning. Maybe rearranging the board while Soun was distracted a few minutes prior during Genma's last move wasn't such a good idea after all. Cursing himself Genma yelled out. "Anito and Ranma are fighting in the house again."

"No! not in my house!" Soun said tears flowing down his face as Genma rapidly rearranged the board yet again to favor himself. Soun paused and looked at Genma suspiciously. "I don't see them." He said with a matter of fact tone of voice.

" Must have been a trick of the light old friend. It is your move again."

"I suppose so." Soun said buying the terrible explanation instantly. Looking down on the board Soun tried to figure out how he was now loosing once again...