Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Unworthy ❯ One ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: Don't own any part of Ranma 1/2 or its characters. Darn it!

Summary: Akane goes on a pretend `date' with Ryoga, trying to make Ranma jealous; to get him to admit to his feelings for her--but it backfires on her. This is set after Jusendo and the failed wedding and all that.

This is another angsty one. It's two chapters long, then the story takes off and crosses with a Fruits Basket fanfic I'm doing, “Neko's Healing,” in that story's Chapter 9. --`Cause I'm just strange that way, that's why! >.< You don't have to read this one to enjoy that one; and you don't have to read that one to enjoy this one, though the end on this one is a tad...abrupt. ::gearing up for incoming thrown fruit:: I just wanna see Saotome Ranma and Sohma Kyo as friends! ::growling and breathing heavily through the nose at anybody saying I `can't do that':: >=P'''

This was done as a character piece, and doesn't clean up all of Ranma's troubles or anything like that. I just wanted a big misunderstanding to come up, to get Ranma and Akane to talk to each other for a change, and then see what happens.

Enjoy!

 

Unworthy

By CrazyDragon

Chapter 1

 

Ranma watched from the trees, heart bottoming out painfully to the ground below him as he watched his fiancée--the only one he'd ever be willing to actually marry--kiss his strongest rival. It seemed to go on and on forever, until they both finally came up for air.

 

The first, hot burst of anger and jealousy had quickly faded, when he noticed that Akane...the girl who professed to hate all boys, who suspected perversion in the most innocent of things; whose swing with her mallet was legendary...

 

...wasn't exactly trying to push Ryoga away.

 

And then--she'd started a second kiss; just grabbed the Lost Boy by the ears, and yanked his head down--

 

Ranma's shocked numbness was slowly overcome by a feeling of sad finality. He knew what he had to do now. There was no longer any putting it off; his last faint, unreasonable hope was now completely gone, with that second kiss. He decided he'd follow them just until they got back to the dojo--making sure they did get back to the dojo; Akane looked rather dazed, and might mistakenly let Ryoga lead...and who knew where they'd end up, then?!

 

Ranma kept back farther from the couple now, no longer feeling any need to hear what they were talking about. His heart felt too raw as it was. He'd known Ryoga's feelings for Akane--but he hadn't realized she actually returned them!

 

Not like that--

 

He wondered, for a brief moment, if she actually did know about P-chan; and had all along. That would explain how she could appear so dense, ignoring every blatant hint he'd ever given her; she already knew, and was taunting him! At least he now understood why she was always telling him to “stop picking on Ryoga!” all the time, even when Ryoga obviously started it.

 

“Ranma, prepare to die!” indeed. It looked like he would have to, after all.

 

He shivered, hunching slightly in on himself as he kept to the shadows, out of their sight. He didn't bother with the Umi-sen-ken--the two of them appeared so wrapped up in each other, he doubted they'd notice if he jumped in front of them wearing a hot pink evening gown. In his guy form.

 

With heels--and makeup.

 

In a numb daze, he started making plans for the next day. He wouldn't let them know he'd followed them; what was the use? They obviously were head over heels for each other, and there was nothing he could do about that. Hell, he'd been doing everything he could to push Akane away from falling for him, since the evening he overheard her telling Nabiki how she was engaged to her `worst nightmare'--

 

That memory still hurt...even more because she'd been talking to her sister, thinking nobody else was around. She'd had no reason to lie; it hadn't just been a show put on for their fathers' benefit. Barely twenty-four hours after his first offer of friendship in--more years than he could really remember; and just because he was born a boy, instead of a girl, his new friend suddenly hated his guts--

 

The twinge in his chest was sharper that time, before fading into the too-familiar dull ache. Akane had always made her feelings for him plain--and they weren't the kind to inspire thoughts of future blissful matrimony. If he ever did marry her, he knew she'd be miserable the whole time. The times she was nice to him...those were just her natural personality showing through; hints of the girl she'd been, before he showed up and absolutely ruined her life.

 

He refused to force her to marry somebody she didn't even like. He'd hoped they might be able to at least be friends, even without marrying, in spite of everything...but that hadn't seemed to be working out. All he seemed able to do was make her angry, or cry; no matter how hard he tried not to. He just--didn't understand what he was doing wrong, and no one seemed willing to actually tell him. They kept assuming he really knew, and was just `being dense'.

 

When they weren't purposefully trying to sabotage him, that is. Ranma had a keen mind for tactics--he'd finally figured out some of what the other girls were trying to do, when they...did what they did, and said what they said, all right in front of Akane. Once he'd thought of the fiancée mess in the context of a challenge fight, he'd started understanding more of what was going on.

 

That still didn't help him figure out what to do about it, though. He couldn't come up with a special technique to counter the girls' tactics, without understanding how and why they worked! Just like with the most powerful martial arts ki attacks--he had to understand the principals before he could learn, and then adapt a move as his own.

 

He'd come to consider a girl's tears as their near-ultimate attack. It certainly always devastated him, about as much as a Hiryu Shoten Ha devastated his opponents when he used it!

 

Telling him he was a baka, and downright stupid to boot, was not helpful. Likewise, just telling him to `open his eyes' didn't qualify as useable advice. He didn't know what he was supposed to be seeing! Tell a blind man to look at the stars, why don't they?!

 

Ranma gathered the tattered remains of his self-control and willed himself into the Soul of Ice, trying to keep the tears at bay. They'd do no good to shed now; never mind any thoughts about being `manly.' That word held no meaning for him anymore. It seemed an empty, miserable concept that only brought heartache to everybody, anyway.

 

He'd known, deep down, that Akane would eventually find someone else. Someone more worthy of her than a penniless, chaos-bringing, arrogant, sex-changing freak like him--

 

Ranma shook his head angrily. He still had things to do before the next evening; wallowing in self pity wouldn't get them done any faster. A quick glance showed Akane and Ryoga were still heading in the right direction, and his thoughts quickly drifted again.

 

He'd have to write several letters, first off. Akane, Ukyo, and Shampoo deserved an explanation, and a goodbye; as well as his mother, and Tendo Soun. Kasumi also would receive a letter; a longer one for her, along with all the thanks for her kindness and help that he just couldn't express in words to her face...even after all the times she'd spent talking with him, late at night. She'd been the only person he'd ever known who actually seemed to care about him, as a person; someone worth knowing, instead of owning; with thoughts, and dreams, and feelings of his own.

 

Nabiki--she'd get a couple paragraphs, along with a money order. He'd have to close his bank account, and he didn't want his father getting his furry mitts on any more of the money he'd earned. In her own way, Nabiki had tried to help him, after all.

 

Images of all the damage done to the house and dojo since he came to live there flashed in front of his eyes, and he shuddered. His mere presence had been the cause of most of it. And getting all of it repaired had fallen squarely on Nabiki's shoulders. So he understood why she'd treated him like she did; in her place, he'd have likely done something a lot more damaging--and permanent!--than blackmail, and selling mildly risqué photos.

 

He felt he still owed her for all the trouble he'd brought to her and her family, even after the profits she'd made off those pictures. If she'd simply asked, he'd have handed over pretty much every yen he had, each week...not that he'd ever have let her know it was that easy to get his money! Except that would have been too much like paying rent, which Tendo-san wouldn't have allowed. The Saotomes were guests in the Tendo-ke, after all.

 

Besides--he knew very well that Nabiki enjoyed `bilking' him all the time. Getting the better of someone in any kind of negotiations cheered her up a great deal, even when money wasn't involved. A small smile flickered across his face, before the sorrow pushed it away.

 

Inohara-sensei should also get a letter; she needed to know where to send his final paycheck in a couple weeks, as his bank account would be closed as of tomorrow. Tofu-sensei should definitely get an explanation, and thanks.

 

His baka oyaji could go live in the zoo, for all Ranma cared anymore; the old man had finally managed to mess Ranma's life up too much for the pig-tailed martial artist to deal with. At least the fat panda wouldn't be able to do that any longer. Oyaji would get by just fine without his freak of a son/daughter; he'd likely just keep mooching off Tendo-san, anyway.

 

Ranma decided he probably should leave a letter for Cologne, expressing his thanks...the Amazon Matriarch had helped him in the past, when she didn't have to--and more than once. He'd pretty much decided that she was hanging around for the amusement factor; he also had a feeling that she'd enjoyed teaching him. If she'd really wanted him back in China, Ranma was well aware that she could've easily taken him by force or drugs or magic, any time she wanted to, instead of letting Shampoo `play' with him like she had. He had a feeling Cologne thought Japan was a good learning experience for her Great Granddaughter, and was using any excuse to stay in Nerima.

 

Ryoga...

 

Ranma's mind froze up for a moment. He'd always considered Ryoga to be his friend--his best male friend, actually--in spite of all the death threats and dirty tricks the Lost Boy had pulled on him. He'd considered those good training; after all, that's the kind of thing Pops did to him all the time! Who'd tried to teach him the Neko-ken, after all? When push came to shove, Ryoga had come through for him, however unwilling he acted about it.

 

Ryoga would get a very short letter; just a handful of words should do it. Ranma would simply tell him to take care of Akane.

 

That should be enough.

 

-AAA-

 

Akane frowned as she closed the gate behind her, after one final wave at Ryoga. She'd been so certain her plan would work! Everything had been going just like it was supposed to, until--

 

Until she'd kissed Ryoga. She blushed with shame at what she'd done to the poor boy, leading him on like that...she'd have to explain it all to him again the next time she saw him. She had a feeling from the goofy grin on his face that he'd forgotten the plan they'd discussed before she ever went on that mock `date' with him. He'd apparently decided it had become real.

 

But--all that evening's hard work...it looked like it had all been wasted. She'd tried so hard to project happiness and excitement, just like a girl on a real date with a boy she liked...and she'd been certain she'd seen Ranma trailing them, three separate times! She'd felt the furious heat of his battle aura burning from the trees like a small sun when Ryoga bent to kiss her, but then--nothing! It had cut off, just like that!

 

She'd expected the pig-tailed martial artist to burst from the trees and pick a fight with Ryoga; or pull some silly scheme to disrupt the date, maybe something like the time he pretended to be Ryoga's fiancée...but--nothing!

 

Wasn't he jealous?! If it had been her in the trees, and Ranma with one of his other, floozy fiancées, Akane knew she would have been too mad to think straight!

 

Maybe...maybe Ranma really didn't care for her. She gulped a painful breath, trying to stem the tears that were threatening. If he hadn't done anything--even after she kissed Ryoga--! He really must not care about her, after all!

 

Akane made it to the upstairs hall before the tsunami of tears broke free. She rushed the last few steps to her room, slamming the door behind her as she began to sob in earnest, the first few crystal tears floating through the air behind her.

 

-NNN-

 

Nabiki frowned at the sudden storm of weeping coming from her little sister's room. What had that baka Ranma done now?! She put down her magazine, idly popping a bubble with her gum, listening for her big sister's steps. Once Kasumi had calmed little sister down somewhat, Nabiki could go find out what had happened this time.

 

Although...judging by how Akane had left the house earlier; dressed to the nines, and on Ryoga of all people's arm...the mercenary girl had at least a suspicion of what might have happened. Either Ranma had pulled some stupid stunt, or picked a fight, or dome something to break up the date--

 

--Or he hadn't. Nabiki hoped, for her little sister's sake, that it wasn't that last. If Ranma hadn't tried to break it up, it was probably either because one of his other fiancées had successfully detained him...or he didn't care that Akane was out on a date with Ryoga.

 

Nabiki hated to admit it, but it wouldn't surprise her if Ranma had been slowly falling out of love with her little sister; not with the way Akane insisted on treating him. Actually, she wasn't sure just what the hell had caused the pig-tailed martial artist to fall for Akane in the first place! His insults to her were actually dead-on accurate, most of the time--she was a tomboy, and strong as a gorilla; not that those things were exactly bad, at least for a martial artist. Akane just didn't see things that way.

 

Besides--she really couldn't cook to save her life; and it did threaten other peoples' lives! Kasumi had to get a certification in bio-hazard disposal, just because of little sister's culinary experiments! Nabiki had joked to her big sister, the last time Akane cooked, that Kasumi might have to find the phone number for those Sailor Senshi over in Juuban District--especially after seeing Akane's last `dish' rush out of the kitchen, headed that way. It would be only polite to let them know where some of the Youma they fought were coming from...

 

Akane was built like a brick, too--though Nabiki knew her little sister had never realized that Ranma actually meant that she was sturdy and unbreakable; it was not a comment on her figure. His only specific comments about Akane's figure were to tease that his girl-form's body was built better--which was also true. Tactless, insensitive, and rather suicidal for him to say; but true none-the-less.

 

As for `un-sexy'--well, how `sexy' was it to constantly mallet somebody into Low Earth Orbit; or scream at the least provocation that he was a hentai, when he was obviously anything but? Such behavior wasn't very `cute,' either.

 

For a while there, Nabiki had seriously begun to wonder if Ranma even liked girls--until she'd managed to get a photo of his male form, at just the right instant and just that perfect angle, to notice what he'd apparently been taking great pains to keep anyone from noticing. A slight blush appeared high on Nabiki's cheeks as she grinned in an almost predatory way, remembering when she developed that photo. The camera had caught--an image of...a-hem...a particular kind of salute, that only men could perform--that she herself had missed, seeing it live.

 

Any red-blooded human male beyond the age of puberty's onset that didn't have any reaction what-so-ever to Shampoo rubbing her well-endowed body all over him had to either be gay, or about six days dead!! Nabiki's estimation of the pig-tailed martial artist's self-control had risen considerably after that--er, discovery.

 

Her grin twitched a notch bigger. `Wild horse,' indeed! The visual evidence had raised another estimation, too--but there was no way she was gonna let that one past her lips; Akane would kill her if she heard it! Nabiki had been very careful, indeed, when she burned that picture--and its negative.

 

And regretful, too...sigh!

 

Nabiki had quickly figured out that Ranma was insulting Akane's behavior whenever he called her `un-cute,' not her looks. The most beautiful girl in Japan would look `un-cute' while screaming insults like a banshee and waving a mallet about. She's also noticed that Ranma tended to tease the people he liked; just as a little boy does.

 

It wasn't surprising, really--what had Saotome Genma taught him about relating to people, after all? If the boy had gotten a compliment from his father on his whole ten-year training trip, Nabiki would be shocked. To Ranma, his teasing was the only way he knew to show affection for somebody--and if he'd learned different since coming to live at the Tendo-ke, well, it was still the only way he could show it without the person he liked either being taken away from him, or him being immediately forced to marry one of his multitude of fiancées.

 

Nabiki had caught glimpses of expressions on Ranma's face, when he didn't think anyone could see, that had led her to believe his whole `dumb martial arts jock' routine was just that--an act. She hadn't been sure the first couple times she saw them, but careful study had confirmed that Ranma was much more aware of things going on around him than he let on.

 

He had a lot in common with Kasumi, in that--Nabiki knew her big sister actively cultivated her air of obliviousness, simultaneously getting better information on what was happening around her than even Nabiki could. She still hadn't figured out half of how Kasumi did it!

 

There had been looks on Ranma's face of sadness, frustration, and anxiety; and a couple of satisfaction...if you didn't pay attention to exactly where he was looking, you could easily miss their significance, especially as they weren't terribly obvious. Especially the satisfaction; he usually projected such an enormous ego, absolutely dripping with self-confidence, that the only reason anybody would have noted that expression, was by its relative mildness. But it usually popped up when good things happened to other people.

 

Things that Nabiki had later traced back to his efforts.

 

And it had been surprisingly hard to trace, too; even for her! Nabiki had been slowly gaining more and more respect for the mind Saotome Ranma hid behind that brash ego. She'd come to believe that he used that façade for many of the same reasons she'd cultivated her Ice Queen persona, and was just as good at it.

 

A more intensive study of one Saotome Genma had quickly answered her questions as to why Ranma didn't want anybody to know he had a working brain tucked away in that hard skull of his. Ranma's father didn't want a smart son; he would be harder to manipulate. And since Genma would legally end up in sole control of the Tendo Dojo if Ranma married her little sister before he reached his majority, she had a pretty good idea as to why Ranma was so vehement about not getting married to Akane just yet, in spite of his obvious feelings for her.

 

She wondered if her own father had realized that; and if so, did he actually trust the damned panda not to sell the Dojo out from under them?! Nabiki prayed her father wasn't so naïve!

 

After about a half hour, Nabiki decided Kasumi had had enough time to work her soothing magic on their baby sister. She was just getting up to go find out some details when there was a knock on her door.

 

Nabiki wasn't particularly startled to find it was her big sister; Kasumi's oblivious façade had never fooled her, after all. She remembered how Kasumi was before their mother's death, and knew very well how observant her older sister really was...as well as how subtle.

 

“Onee-san?”

 

“Nabiki-chan...” Kasumi's expression was unusually troubled--which is to say, she wasn't smiling as much as normal. “I'm afraid Akane-chan--may have done something...” Kasumi glanced down as she searched for an appropriate word, hands uncharacteristically wringing in front of her, “...rather...foolish.”

 

Nabiki blinked, not sure she'd just heard correctly. Had her eldest sister just called their baby sister--foolish?? Shaking her head slightly to clear her thoughts, she asked, “Come on in, Onee-san. What's she done? When she came home, I thought Ranma must have gotten her upset again...?”

 

Kasumi came in and settled herself on Nabiki's bed, then fastened her eyes on the floor at her feet, biting her lip.

 

Nabiki settled on her desk chair, trying not to frown. Kasumi actually looked upset as she consciously stilled her hand-wringing, took a deep breath, and looked up at her younger sister, her eyes sad. “Akane-chan...went out with Ryoga-kun on a `pretend date,' she called it. She said...she had it all planned out, and had explained to Ryoga-kun exactly what they were really doing...”

 

“Which was...?” Nabiki prompted when Kasumi paused, though it looked like her earlier suspicions had been correct.

 

“Akane-chan was--trying to make Ranma-kun jealous. She wanted to find out if he really cares about her, and thought...”

 

Nabiki's lips quirked for a split second before she controlled the impulse to grin. Baby sister was actually trying to be subtle! Too bad she didn't understand the concept in the least, any more than she was ready to admit even to herself that she actually cared about one Saotome Ranma, at all.

 

Kasumi wasn't finished, though. She looked straight into Nabiki's eyes, troubled beyond words, and went on, “She kissed Ryoga-kun, Imoto-chan! When she was certain Ranma was there to see it!”

 

Nabiki frowned. “Akane--initiated the kiss?” Kami-sama, the girl couldn't even kiss Ranma, whom everybody with eyes in their heads bloody well knew she was in love with! “Or did she have Ryoga--oh, wait; what am I saying, this is Ryoga we're talking about...”

 

Kasumi's expression went tight-lipped, her eyes glinting with an unusually hard emotion for a split second. “Ryoga-kun started the first kiss.”

 

Nabiki stared at her sister, the words circling in her head for a moment before really being understood. “...Ryoga...?” Then the important part hit. “First kiss?!!” She stared in shock as Kasumi nodded. She should've known the idea of Akane being subtle couldn't be real. Akane was about as subtle as a wrecking ball, in full swing!

 

“When Ranma-kun...didn't jump in and challenge Ryoga-kun right after the first kiss, and after all the chances he'd had to do it during the date up to then, Akane-chan said she grabbed Ryoga-kun by the ears--and kissed him.” The sisters stared at each other in queasy silence for a few moments, unable to believe that Akane had done that.

 

Not so much the idea of kissing Ryoga, in particular; the boy was rather handsome, in a rough sort of way, and endearingly bashful. But--kissing a boy; when the girl couldn't even bring herself to kiss the boy she liked--the very one she was trying to make jealous?! With all of the hitting and insults and everything else she did to him...!

 

“One-chan...what did Ranma finally do?” A sense of dread was curling about Nabiki's gut as she asked. Akane had been so upset when she got home--

 

“Akane-chan said...she was sure he'd do something, his aura was burning hotter and more angry than she'd ever sensed it, when he saw Ryoga-kun kiss her. But then--it just snuffed out. She couldn't explain it, and I guess she didn't understand what it could mean... She just knew he was still there, but wasn't trying to break her and Ryoga-kun apart. She said--that was why she initiated the second kiss. So now--she thinks Ranma-kun...doesn't care about her, at all.”

 

Nabiki jumped to her feet and paced angrily about her room, cursing a blue streak. She was too agitated to even pretend to sit still. Kasumi stayed primly sitting on the bed, tight-lipped, but not disapproving of her language; she rather looked like she wanted to suggest even more descriptive phrases.

 

The thought that Kasumi probably did know more of them than Nabiki, was--unsettling.

 

When Nabiki had wound down enough to think coherently, she faced her sister and growled out, “What does that little baka think she's doing?! Kami-sama! Any baka can see how much Ranma cares for her--after Jusendo, you'd think she'd finally understand to look at his actions, and not worry about the words he has so much trouble with! Hell, after that mess with Shinosuke, she should've realized the baka loves her enough to let her pick who she wants to be with--even if it's not him! What with all the girls trying to force him into marriage, he knows first-hand how that sort of thing can make somebody feel. Most of his current problems are still hanging because the baka doesn't want to hurt anybody's feelings, let alone mess up their honor! Does Akane really believe he'd try to break her and Ryoga apart, if he thought she really wanted that buto?!”

 

While Nabiki panted with excess frustration, Kasumi closed her eyes, fighting back tears. “There's--something else you should know, Imoto-chan. Ranma-kun...has come up with only one way to resolve his fiancée problems, that won't destroy someone's honor.” She opened her eyes, the tears spilling softly down her cheeks.

 

“What? He's got a way to fix this mess?! Why hasn't he--” Nabiki froze, her mouth suddenly dry as dust. She went paler than Kasumi as she thought about Ranma, and his damned over-developed sensed of honor. And Kasumi's current tears. “No. Oh, no--he wouldn't--!”

 

Kasumi slowly nodded. “I've gotten into the habit of talking with Ranma-kun in the evenings, usually when he gets back from his job at Nerima General. You should try really talking with him some time, Imoto-chan...”

 

Nabiki slowly sat back down in her chair, staring at Kasumi. Her legs were too wobbly from the repeated shocks to remain standing. “His--what??”

 

Kasumi sighed, a faint look of annoyance briefly crossing her lovely features. On Kasumi, that look was more shocking than Hurricane Akane in a full rage. “Imoto-chan, really. You didn't honestly think Saotome Genma was giving his son an allowance, did you? He had to get the money to give us for his contribution to the household finances from somewhere, after all. He knew letting you take those pictures of him all the time wasn't the best way--it was causing too many problems; and he was worried that the betting pools were too risky to rely on so much.”

 

“--He was letting me take all those pictures? You're kidding--!”

 

“He is a very, very good martial artist, Imoto-chan; and he's used to people trying to ambush him all the time. Did you really think you could sneak up on him? He asked my advice on what shots he should allow you to take. He wasn't sure what was--too much. He didn't enjoy them, either.”

 

Kasumi's stern, slightly disappointed gaze made Nabiki shiver. She tried to shift the subject a bit. “Just what kind of job does he have?”

 

“He's a night janitor at Nerima General, mainly in the children's and terminal patients' sections, at least three nights every week. He also tries to cheer up the worst-case children; Inohara-sensei is very pleased with the reactions of the patients on the nights Ranma-kun is there, she says there are definite improvements after Ranma-kun has spent time with them. That's why he tends to sleep so much in class...he's not getting much sleep at night.

 

“Until now, I've been the only other person who knew about his job...and his personal bank account, that he's been keeping secret from Uncle Saotome since he was nine years old. He said that a sensei at one of the dojos they were staying at set it up for him, and taught him the basics about finances.” Kasumi's level gaze made Nabiki squirm, even as she mentally berated herself for never asking such an obvious question as `Where does Ranma get his money from?' She knew he wouldn't steal it...that was what Genma would do, and Ranma always made a point of being pretty much his father's opposite, in character.

 

Nabiki stared at her knees, thinking hard. “One-chan--is Ranma back yet?”

 

“I don't think so...”

 

“I've got to talk to him first thing when he gets back. He's got to understand what Akane was trying to do, before he does something stupid!” She suddenly stared into Kasumi's eyes, a cold chill passing through her. “He wouldn't--have done it already, would he?!”

 

Kasumi paled, looking scared for a minute, then took a deep breath to calm herself. “I--I don't think so. I don't think he's made any of the preparations he mentioned when he told me he thought he might some day have to do it. He was hoping there was still time for something to happen, to give him another way.” She stood quickly. “I'll check the dojo and the koi pond, just in case.” She was out the door faster than Nabiki had seen her sister move in years. Ranma, himself couldn't have moved any faster!

 

Nabiki stood and set her face in her Ice Queen façade, eyes like chips of brown ice as she headed for Akane's room. She'd let her baby sister screw up her own life through her delusions for far too long; it was time for a little lesson in reality, about what certain reactions to certain things really meant...and about the apparently arcane concept of `consequences.'

 

Oooo, this one is fun! I just love digging down deep into characters' psyches. ::brandishing pickaxe and smiling broadly, an insane glint flashing from maniacal eyes while beginning a swing::

<THWOCK!>

Ita-a-ai...! ::delicately setting dangerous pickaxe down, then hopping away on uninjured foot...::