Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Wild Like You ❯ It's Not What It Looks Like ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer (CMA): The characters and settings used in this story are the property of their respective owners. They are used here without permission, but with no malicious or libelous intent. The author receives no compensation for this work aside from peer reviews.

Part 2: It's Not What It Looks Like

"Ah… h-hi, Akane." Ranma entered the room that their parents-Soun, actually-had decided they would be sharing.

Lying on the bed, Akane opened one eye and regarded the redhead cautiously, as if she were concerned about some other secret the girl might hold. Concluding that there was nothing to worry about at present, she nodded her acknowledgment, and rolled over, facing the wall.

"I'm… sorry that I… didn't tell you before. I just… I thought… when you asked if we could be friends, I- that's the first time in… a long time… that anyone's ever… said that to me." She looked balefully at Akane.

"But… y'know, even if we can't… be friends, I wanna… I just wanna say, thanks. Y'know, for at least… being my friend for a little bit."

The redhead smiled sadly, then turned away, setting up her mattress on the floor. She placed a pillow at one end, spread a blanket over the ensemble, then walked to the light switch by the door.

"G'night, Akane." She switched the lights off, and lay down on her makeshift bed. Before long, she had begun to snore softly.

Akane, on the other hand, lay awake in her bed, thinking about what had happened; what had taken her normal, everyday life, added Ranma Saotome, and… gotten completely out of hand. A jumble of ideas, thoughts, and reactions coursed through her mind. Then, out of all the day's events, one word stood out from all the rest. "Friends." Fiancés, that would be difficult. Lovers, hell no. But friends? Sure. She could handle that.

"Good night… Ranma."

She closed her eyes, and let sleep take her.

"Get up, boy! Time for our spar! Up an' at 'em!" Genma burst into the room shouting. He burst out again with the swing of a large… wooden… thing that smacked him in the head. "Ite…"

"Oh, my, Saotome-san… Akane's not really a morning person, you know."

"Unh… ah, thank you, Kasumi, I'm painfully aware of that fact."

"Huh? Is it time ta get up already? Jeez, Pops, it's only five in the mornin'!"

"The early bird gets the worm, son!"

"I've told ya about that, Pops. I am not your son! And so help me if you call me that again, I'm gonna-"

"What about our little agreement? I don't think your mother would be very happy if I failed to train my son to become a 'man among men.'"

Ranma sweatdropped. "That still don't make me like it, Pops. I'm your daughter, however ya wanna look at it. And don't you forget it!" Pulling out a mallet of her own, she gave Genma a matching lump for the other side of his head.

"Oh, my, Ranma… it's not very ladylike to eat so quickly." Kasumi watched Ranma's meal with a worried countenance. Actually, she didn't know too many people at all that ate so quickly.

"Yeah, well, if you knew my Pops like I do, you'd be eatin' fast, too," Ranma replied around a mouthful of rice. "If ya don't eat fast, ya don't eat at all, 'cause he gets it." She glared at the man angrily.

"Now, now, it was all part of your training, of course! A martial artist must be speedy in all things, not discounting his meal," Genma said anxiously.

"Yeah, right, trainin' my-"

"Tsk, Ranma, it isn't befitting of a young lady to use such language."

She bowed her head, slightly annoyed. "Gomen…"

Kasumi spent the rest of the morning trying, with little success, to help Ranma feel comfortable with being a girl. She had started by teaching her feminine speech (much of which Ranma had never even heard, much less spoken; and even after learning it, she preferred not to use it), and gone on to show her how to put on the school uniform-at which Ranma was not very pleased.

"I gotta wear this thing!?" she exclaimed, holding up the blue dress that constituted that uniform.

"Yes, Ranma, you must; I'm sorry, but you're registered as a girl, so you're required to wear the girls' uniform and take the girls' curriculum," Kasumi said, and handed Ranma the white underskirt and blue sash that went with the dress.

"Why do I gotta go ta school, anyway? I'm a martial artist; I ain't gonna-"

"'I'm not going to-'"

"Whatever. I'm not gonna need no-"

"'Any-'"

"Okay, okay! Any o' that math and writing ta be a good martial artist, am I? So why bother?"

The eldest Tendo shook her head, sighing. Ranma was going to be a hard nut to crack, she could tell. But, if she'd managed with Akane, she could probably handle Ranma-she hoped. Best to start with the basics, she decided.

"Well… how about this, Ranma. Let's say you're teaching classes at the dojo. You charge beginners five thousand yen an hour, intermediate students seven thousand an hour, and advanced students ten thousand an hour. If you instructed eight beginners, five intermediates, and one advanced student, all for an hour apiece, how much money would you make?"

"Uhh…" Ranma tallied off the numbers on her fingers. "Eighty-five thousand yen?"

Kasumi stared at the redhead in shock. She ran the numbers through her head once more, just to be sure she wasn't hallucinating. No, that was right. "How did you…?"

"I ain't stupid. I can do all that stuff, well enough to get by, anyhow; had ta teach myself most of it, since Pops was too hung up on stealin' food ta care. But far as I can see, this 'school' thing's dumb. I ain't never been ta school, 'cept once, and that was 'cause Pops had ta stick around ta work off his tab. Only good thing 'bout goin' was that there were other people my age, instead o' just Pops yellin' at me all the time…"

Ranma's eyes glazed over as she recalled one of the few times in her life when she'd felt like she had a friend. That poor kid, always getting lost… maybe she'd been a bit hard on him, teasing him about his directional ability like that, but she still thought of him as a friend.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Ranma. I didn't realize-"

"N-nah. It's okay. I'm used to it."

"Used to what?"

"Ta bein' alone. Ain't nothin' new. Ya learn quick ta get over it, ta buckle down an' stick ta yer trainin'. 'Th' life of a martial artist is fraught with peril,' as Pops likes ta say."

"Oh… well, now that you're here, we can't have that, can we? I'm sure you and Akane could be good friends if you wanted to. You wouldn't have to be so lonely that way. And I think she wouldn't mind some company at school; she seems to dislike it just as much as you."

The younger girl sighed, toying with her pigtail. "Yeah, I guess. Can't hurt ta try, ne?"

The next morning, Ranma woke to a discreet knocking at the door to her and Akane's room. Opening her eyes, she saw through the window that it was still dark outside. As she got to her feet and padded toward the door, it opened a crack to reveal the face of Kasumi, with a slightly pale Genma in tow.

"Ranma? Your father has asked me to wake you to begin your morning spar," Kasumi explained.

The idea of her father requesting something like that was too much for Ranma; she nearly burst out laughing-and in fact giggled a little-before she realized Akane was still sleeping nearby. Quickly hushing herself, she whispered to Kasumi, "'Kay. Tell 'im I'll be right down."

The redhead donned a pair of boxers and a starched-white gi, then trotted down the stairs to meet her father. She was in a remarkably good mood this morning. Perhaps it had to do with her dreams that night… she couldn't remember any of them, but she remembered they'd been very good dreams; nothing at all like the ones she'd been having lately about that… that ordeal. She shuddered just thinking about it.

Reaching the backyard, Ranma noticed that Genma was nowhere to be seen. She assumed a defensive stance, expecting an ambush-and rightly so. The large but swift man leaped from the roof above the doorway, nearly crushing the girl, had she not rolled out of the way mere inches from his feet. The two began to trade blows, feeling out the other's defenses in an elegant dance of sorts. The match lasted for hours, shifting from a tango to a waltz, to a fox trot, to an aerial ballet. At last, the elder combatant showed the tiniest weakness, and his opponent landed a roundhouse to his shoulder, sending him into the small koi pond at one side of the yard.

The panda hauled himself out of the water, then picked up where he'd left off as best he could. His increased bulk made weathering attacks much easier, but he also found it much more difficult to strike the more agile redhead. Hard as it may be, though, with his power, one strike was all he would need.

And one strike he managed. A brutal haymaker-one that could have ripped the head from an unsuspecting victim-grazed the girl's abdomen; she spun wildly through the air with the impact, landing in the pond herself.

As he climbed angrily from the pond, Kasumi's call of "Breakfast!" perked up the ears of both. They bowed to one another, a formal concession that seemed to say, "You have fought well, but you will fail when next we battle."

Breakfast finished and bags packed, Akane led Ranma through the streets of Nerima to her new school: Furinkan High, home of the All-Tokyo Science Fair First Place Team (three years running), the All-Tokyo Rhythmic Gymnastics Competition Winners (undefeated during the history of the sport), and last, but definitely not least, as Akane so modestly pointed out, the All-Tokyo Kendo Tournament Champion, Tatewaki Kuno.

… Who, at the moment, was waiting at the school gates to ask a certain "raven-haired angel of mercy" if she would go to dinner with him this Wednesday evening. And hoping that this time, she wouldn't order the most expensive item on the menu-rich as he was, his pocketbook was still smarting from last Thursday's sup at the Kappöten Katarai.

Unaware of Kuno's worries, however, Akane was getting quite adamant about Ranma's insistance on walking the fence along the road, instead of using the road itself. Ranma claimed it was a balance exercise, balance being central to the overwhelmingly midair techniques of the Saotome school, and that if she didn't practice as often as possible, she might start to get sloppy, and lose her status. Well, not in so many words; what she'd said was, "If I screw up my trainin', Pops'll cream me next spar," then run on ahead of Akane.

"Ranma! Would you please get down from the fence? You're gonna give nosebleeds doing that."

"Nani? Whaddya mean?"

"Your underwear is showing! Can't you have even a little bit of feminine modesty?"

"Jeez. I ain't used to this kind o' stuff, y'know. 'Sides, ain't like none of 'em never seen it before, anyway."

Akane briefly considered the unspoken implications of that, and sweatdropped. She quickened her pace to match Ranma's, trying once more to reason with the other girl. Maybe if she tried Kasumi's tactic?

"You know, it isn't ladylike to show off your panties."

"Che! I ain't no lady. A girl, maybe; but I ain't no lady."

Akane growled in frustration. This… this tomboy was really getting on her nerves; if she wasn't careful, she'd find herself extremely glad to be a girl, if only to forego performing a lovely soprano solo. Why, Akane thought, even if she was a boy, I'm just so pissed right now, I swear I wouldn't think twice about removing certain parts of his anatomy…

She was dimly aware of a soft whump. Ranma had leapt down, and was now walking alongside her, keeping excellent pace with Akane's anger-induced "power walk." The redhead looked nowhere but at her feet, kicking at whichever particularly large stones in the street struck her fancy.

"Do mine eyes deceive me? Or have the heavens indeed deemed myself worthy of yet another serendipitous rendezvous with this goddess in onyx crowned? I would prostrate myself before thee."

"Ohayo, Kuno-chan. Really, if this is a chance meeting, I'd hate to see your idea of a planned one. Have you been standing out here all morning?"

"Nay, fair Akane Tendo; in sooth I have awaited you since nightfall."

Somehow, that didn't surprise her-neither that he had spent so long preparing and waiting for her, nor that he admitted, or rather, boasted about doing so. He was a boy, to be sure (as sure as she could be, anyway), but he was a bit… thick-headed. Even for a boy. She was trying to come up with a suitably stinging reply-the humor in which would most likely sail miles above Kuno's head-but the kendoist spoke before she got a chance.

"And who, prithee, is this?" he exclaimed, finally seeing Ranma standing beside the original object of his affection. Stooping to one knee before her, he took her hand and continued, "A foreign beauty, perhaps, by her locks of reddest flame? A beauty she is, indeed, for those who would claim otherwise must be utter fools. Surely such a vision of loveliness has come hearing rumors of my chivalry and honor, and wishes to dine with me? Very well, then, I shall-"

Akane, who was quietly seething throughout his soliloquy, had finally had enough, and silenced Kuno with a snap kick to the gut. "You playboy! What am I, then? A side dish?" Akane shouted at him. She huffed and turned away, stomping into the school building and up the stairs to her classroom. Ranma glanced back at Kuno, feeling a little sorry for him, fool that he was. Then she took off after Akane, who had completely forgotten she needed to show Ranma where the room was.

"Good morning, class; I'd like to introduce to you our new student, Ranma Saotome. Let's all give her a big 'hi!' … Or not," the teacher added dryly. "However, that doesn't excuse the fact that both she and Akane were late to class. Go stand in the hall."

… Which was where they were now. Ranma sighed, shifting the weight of her water buckets to let the blood flow to her fingers once more. It was bad enough having to go to school, just to make Kasumi (and maybe, just maybe, Akane as well) happy, but to get punished for tardiness on the first day? I might as well just stay home and teach myself, she thought bitterly. Fat lot of good it does to stand out here for something I had no control over.

Meanwhile, down the hall…

"Nabiki Tendo, I would-"

"Date with me? Sorry, Kuno-chan, I'm booked for months. But I might have a cancella-"

"Actually, no. What I intended to say was that I would inquire of you a means to profess such things to the radiant and fiery beauty who yon morning accompanied my love, your sister, Akane Tendo."

"Oh, you mean Ranma. Yeah, she's staying at our house. Why? Did she turn down your offer of a date? Gee, what a shame."

"A shame indeed, for I was rudely interrupted in my endeavour by the beauteous Akane, who no doubt harbors some measure of jealousy that I would date with this Ranma; she need not fear, however: I would love them both!"

"Of course, Kuno-chan, of course. So you want to ask her out? I might be able to come up with a plan for only, oh, twenty thousand yen."

"Consider it done. Such is a trifle in the shadow of the pursuit of my twin loves, who even now I suspect are whispering of me, in voices reserved for the chambers of marriage."

"I'm sure. But…"

"Yes?"

"There is one little detail you might want to know, and I'll gladly share it for five hundred yen."

He handed her the banknote. "I beseech thee to impart this knowledge to me."

"Well, you see, Kuno… Ranma and Akane… are engaged."

"'Tis a tragedy! Can this be so? Not one, but both my loves are already promised unto another? This bodes not well with my heart. Please, that it may be at peace, pray tell the names of the honorable men who have claimed their hearts so?"

"I don't think you're going to like this…"

"I beg you! Such men are surely the most fortunate upon this earth; I would not bring upon myself misfortune by attempting on their lives. They are safe; I wish only that you tell me to whom my angels are betrothed!"

"Ranma and Akane… they're engaged… to each other."

"NANI!?"

Lunch: the bane of all semblance of discipline. A cacophony of conversation sounded across the schoolyard as students traded gossip, cards, and bentou, everyone with or near their chosen clique. A redhead and her iinazuke walked farther away from most of the larger groups, laying claim to a little spot beneath the largest tree in the yard. Akane sat up against the weathered trunk, and Ranma plopped down next to her, then proceeded to pick tiny plant burrs from her loose stockings.

"Che. Stupid stickers; keep catchin' on these damned stockin's… kuso, I hate this uniform."

"Well, you know, Ranma, you're not the only one. If it were my decision, we'd at least have the option of pantyhose, or even going bare-legged-"

"That ain't what I meant! I'm sayin' I don't even like wearin' a uniform! What's wrong with the stuff I wear every other day?"

"You mean that silk shirt and sweatpants getup? Please, Ranma, don't kid yourself. You look like a fool wearing that! And your hair-don't even get me started on your hair; you could take on the goddesses in a beauty contest with that hair, if you would only let it down. But no, you keep it in that infernal pigtail. Kami-sama, have you no fashion sense at all!?"

Ranma crossed her arms over her knees, laying her head on them. "Yeah… guess that's what I get for livin' like a boy for my whole life, huh? Might as well give up now, ain't never gonna amount to nothin'… can't even tie a damned bow without screwin' up…"

Akane saw that Ranma had taken her comment a little harder than she'd intended. "Oh, no, Ranma, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I'm just saying… well, the way you usually dress, you're not likely to get much notice, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, well that Kuno guy was sure givin' me 'notice.' I don't think I liked it, neither."

"Grr… don't remind me of him. He… he… grr! That jerk! And with me right there watching! I swear, if he wasn't so 'chivalrous' he probably would've started feeling you up without caring if I was there or not! And here I thought he liked me, but no, he has to go and-"

"Hey, uh, Akane…"

"-swear that guy's trying to build a harem or something-"

"Akane…"

"-now that I think about it, there was that Machiko girl last week he was coming on to-"

"Akane!" Ranma tugged hard on her sleeve, pointing toward the school with the other hand.

"Nani… huh? Why is everybody coming over here?"

A large group of girls, many of them friends of Akane, stampeded toward the pair's lunch spot. As the throng approached, Ranma and Akane were overwhelmed by a roar of questions.

"Akane, is it true?" "You're engaged to a girl?" "I never knew you were like that…" "Would you go out with me?" "Of course not, you idiot, she's engaged…" "But I thought you liked boys!" "Yeah, what about Kuno?"

"ENOUGH!" Akane shouted. The crowd quieted down, but a few murmurs continued to float around.

"I don't know what kind of bull you heard, but it's not like that!"

"Yeah, we're just friends! Why would I wanna be engaged to a girl?"

"But, we heard Nabiki telling Kuno that-" one girl began.

"You heard what!?"

Another girl explained, "Your sister, Nabiki, said that you and that girl were engaged to be married, and…" She trailed off, sensing Akane's building anger.

"NABIKIIIIII! You are so dead!"

Author's Notes: I'm trying to keep this story as close to the canon as I can; not the same, but parallel, to balance out some of the personality traits that I changed. As you can see, there is no "Hentai Brigade," since for one, the new Akane (who seems to have taken on some of Nabiki's traits, like flirtatious baiting… ^.^) isn't likely to turn down a date, and therefore, also because Kuno was never prompted to make his infamous speech. He's still as much of a "hopeless romantic" as ever, though.

Call me crazy, but I like writing Kuno's dialogue more than almost any other character. I think it's something to do with using all those fancy words in a single sentence, using medieval sentence structures. Hmm… maybe I am crazy.

Ranma: There ain't no "maybe," jerk. You're a loon. I can't believe ya spent all that money on "Jusenkyo Curse Reversal Soap" just for this damned story. You're gonna hate your life when this is over, I promise. Stupid stuff won't wash off for weeks…

Hey, I'll have you know that stuff came with a free sample of "Jusenkyo Waterproof Soap"!

Ranma: Good. Get me another one and I'll let ya keep your legs intact, too.

*sweatdrop* "Too"?

By the way, the name "Kappöten Katarai" literally means "The Restaurant of Lover's Vows". I especially like the name because it could also be translated idiomatically as the "Chat Café"-not to be confused with a certain feline-inspired establishment, which has yet to exist in this timeline. ^_^

Something to ponder: while reviewing some episodes to refresh my memory, I noticed that at the end of Episode 2 ("School Is No Place For Horsing Around!") Ranma, Akane, and Kuno are each holding one bucket of water, but, in the same scene at the beginning of Episode 3 ("A Sudden Storm of Love… Hey, Wait a Minute!") the three are holding two buckets each! Weird…

I'll keep writing if you keep reading. Ja!

Next chapter: Ryoga arrives on the scene with a less-than-friendly greeting for Ranma… but things get a little complicated when he finds out he is a she! Read on in Part 3: A Lost Cause, coming soon!