Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Wild Like You ❯ Omake 1 -- Outtakes Chapters 1-3 ( Chapter 4 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

"Wild Like You"
A Ranma ½ Fanfiction by CompMan44
Romance/Comedy/AU

Disclaimer (CMA): The characters and settings used in this story are the property of their respective owners. They are used here without permission, but with no malicious or libelous intent. The author receives no compensation for this work aside from peer reviews.

"Wild Like You" Omake: Outtakes, Chapters 1-3

Part 1, Scene 1

The Tendo household was as serene as ever. Someone with a Polaroid and a nice tree limb to sit in could make a fortune selling postcards with its photo. He wasn't planning to make postcards, however. Actually, he wasn't even taking pictures of the house. His target was inside.

Akane Tendo. Even thinking the name sent chills of desire down his spine. Akane Tendo. Ooh, nice. Akane Tendo. Aaah… Whoa! There she is!

*Click* *Click* *Click-click-click*

He rapidly snapped shot after shot, watching intently as she swirled her skirt, looking at herself in the mirror. Her blue-green school uniform, complete with loose stockings and a matching hair bow, was supplemented by a less-than-modest amount of rose-colored (and scented, he had learned) lipstick, and a generous dab of emerald eyeshadow (with flecks of silver-he didn't get that telephoto lens for nothing).

Leaning over in the tree's sturdy canopy to get a clearer shot, he nearly-

<CRASH>

Hearing the noise, Akane rushed to the bedroom window, throwing it open. "Oh Kami-sama! Hikaru? Are you okay?" She couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Gosunkugi Hikaru's sprawled form at the foot of the tree.

"I- I'm fine. Nothing broken but my pride," he replied, chuckling. Reaching up to the crown on his head, he added, "And a few bulbs, I guess."

"Cut," CompMan sighed, just loudly enough for both to hear him. "So much for doing the easy shot in one take," he muttered. "Okay, Gos, try not going so far out on the branch next time. Mousse, could you get him some bulbs from the supply closet?" The Amazon nodded. "Good. And when he gets back, everybody be back in your places; we're taking it from the top."

Mousse headed off toward the kitchen, though the supply closet was in the other direction, while the rest of the cast murmered their assent, moving to get ready for the next take.

(Director's Note: Do you actually think I'd use real flames up in a tree with this gang?)

Part 1, Scene 6

Akane, in her familiar yellow gi, practically danced around Ranma, throwing punches like fastballs, trying desperately to break through his defenses. Is he reading my moves? she wondered to herself.

To Ranma, she complained, "Come on! Aren't you at least gonna fight back?"

No sooner did the words leave her mouth, than Ranma had flipped over her head, rebounded from the wall, and crashed right into Akane, toppling the couple to the floor.

"Cut! Are you two okay?"

"Jeez, Ranma, what'd you do that for?!" Akane shouted, trying to push a dazed Ranma-kun off of her chest. "Great, now I sound like you."

Ranma shook his head to clear it. "Ah, jeez, Akane, sorry. Hehe… guess I slipped," he explained, scratching the back of his head. Then he noticed where he was sitting, and stood up, blushing sheepishly. He extended a hand to Akane, helping her to her feet.

"All right, guys. Let's try that again," CompMan called, pausing for the pair to take their places. "Part One, scene Six, take Two. And… action!"

Part 1, Scene 6 (Take Two)

To Ranma, she complained, "Come on! Aren't you at least gonna fight back?"

No sooner did the words leave her mouth, than Ranma had flipped over her head, rebounded from the wall, and tapped the back of her head, claiming his victory. For a few seconds they stood there, then Akane turned around, and they bowed to one another.

"You're better than I gave you credit for, Ranma. Sorry I doubted you," she said with a smile.

"Hey, you're not half bad yourself. Nice power, gotta work on your defense, though."

"Friends?" She extended a hand.

"Friends." He took it, and gave a quick shake.

"I'm so glad you're a girl. I'd have felt horrible losing to a guy like that."

Ranma stared at her-no, through her-for a moment, but smiled broadly, before breaking into unrestrained laughter. "A-Akane! Haha! 'Glad you're a girl,' a-ha-hah, ha. Oh, jeez," he groaned, clutching his stomach, but still laughing. "That was… heh… that was great." Finally he toppled over, chuckles convulsing his body every few seconds. Akane, soon realizing her slip-up, joined him.

Across the set, CompMan sat on a folding chair, nearly doubled over by his own laughter. "That was pretty good," he admitted, then raised his megaphone, saying, "I probably don't have to tell you, but 'Cut.'"

Ranma and Akane nodded, bringing their guffaws under control, and returning to the middle of the dojo.

"Okay, then. Take Three it is."

Part 1, Scene 6 (Take Three)

To Ranma, she complained, "Come on! Aren't you at least gonna fight back?"

"You're better than I gave you credit for, Ranma. Sorry I doubted you," she said with a smile.

"Hey, you're not half bad yourself. Nice power, gotta work on your defense, though."

"Friends?" She extended a hand.

"Friends." He reached to take it, but as he did, Akane's hand shot up, and she poked Ranma's forehead--hard. His balance lost, the pigtailed boy fell over backward, flailing his arms in vain.

"CUT! Akane, what was that? I know that wasn't in the script. I wrote it, after all," hollered CompMan.

The youngest Tendo was laughing to the point of tears, and so couldn't answer right away. "I-- I'm sorry-- haha-- I couldn't-- couldn't resist," she forced through her sobs. Ranma just sat on the floor, shaking his head in bemusement.

CompMan glowered at Akane. "Come on, guys. We're on a budget, you know. And that's not even big enough to afford being sued, much less any enormous overscheduling costs."

"All right, all right, sorry," she said, and took up another stance. Ranma stood up as well, settling into his trademark non-stance. "I'm ready."

"Me, too," said Ranma, looking at Akane and readying himself for her assault.

"Good. Scene Six, take Four. I hope it's the last one." (Director's Note: It was, thank Kami-sama. :·)

Part 1, Scene 9

"Was that Akane?" Nabiki asked of her older sister.

"I… I think so…"

They were quickly answered when the girl in question, wearing only a towel, burst into the sitting room, shrieking like a banshee.

"What on earth is wrong, Akane?"

"There's a strange girl in the furo!" screamed Akane, gesturing wildly with her arms. As she did so, the hastily wrapped towel fell around her ankles, but the girl continued shouting, oblivious.

"Hey, Akane," commented a busty redheaded girl, calmly walking down the stairs. "Looking good."

"Huh?" Akane responded, stopping her rant in mid-sentence. She glanced down. "Eeeek!" Quickly kneeling, she grabbed the towel and wrapped it a little more tightly as blood rushed to her cheeks-not from anger, either.

Clamping his nose between two fingers, CompMan called into his megaphone. "Cut, cut. As much as I liked it," he said in a nasal voice, coughing suggestively, "we can't show that on national television. So… take Two."

Part 2, Scene 4

Kasumi spent the rest of the morning trying, with little success, to help Ranma feel comfortable with being a girl. She had started by teaching her feminine speech (much of which Ranma had never even heard, much less spoken; and even after learning it, she preferred not to use it), and gone on to show her how to put on the school uniform-at which Ranma was not very pleased.

"I gotta wear this thing?!" she exclaimed, holding up the blue dress that constituted that uniform.

"Yes, Ranma, you must; I'm sorry, but you're registered as a girl, so you're required to wear the girls' uniform and take the girls' curriculum," Kasumi said, and handed Ranma the white underskirt and blue sash that went with the dress.

"Why do I gotta go ta school, anyway? I'm a martial artist; I ain't gonna-"

"'I'm not going to-'"

"Whatever. I'm not gonna need no-"

"'Any-'"

"Okay, okay! Any o' that math and writin' ta be a good martial artist, am I? So why bother?"

The eldest Tendo shook her head, sighing. Ranma was going to be a hard nut to crack, she could tell. But, if she'd managed with Akane, she could probably handle Ranma-she hoped. Best to start with the basics, she decided.

"Well… how about this, Ranma. Let's say you're teaching classes at the dojo. You charge beginners five thousand yen an hour, intermediate students seven thousand an hour, and advanced students ten thousand an hour. If you instructed eight beginners, five intermediates, and one advanced student, all for an hour apiece, how much money would you make?"

"Uhh…" Ranma tallied off the numbers on her fingers. "More'n I'd know what to do with," she said after several seconds.

Kasumi sweatdropped. "Eighty-five," she hissed.

"Eh?" asked the redhead, confused.

"Eighty-five thousand yen," Kasumi said, in a slightly louder whisper.

"Oh, right. Eighty-five thousand yen, of course."

"Forget it, Ranma," CompMan groaned into his megaphone. He put his head in his hands. "Just cut."

Part 2, Scene 8

"Do mine eyes deceive me? Or have the heavens indeed deemed myself worthy of yet another serendipitous rendezvous with this goddess in onyx crowned? I would prostrate myself before thee."

"Ohayo, Kuno-chan. Really, if this is a chance meeting, I'd hate to see your idea of a planned one. Have you been standing out here all morning?"

"Nay, fair Akane Tendo; in sooth I have awaited you since nightfall."

Somehow, that didn't surprise her-neither that he had spent so long preparing and waiting for her, nor that he admitted, or rather, boasted about doing so. He was a boy, to be sure (as sure as she could be, anyway), but he was a bit… thick-headed. Even for a boy. She was trying to come up with a suitably stinging reply-the humor in which would most likely sail miles above Kuno's head-but the kendoist spoke before she got a chance.

"And who, prithee, is this?" he exclaimed, finally seeing Ranma standing beside the original object of his affection. Stooping to one knee before her, he took her hand and continued, "A foreign beauty, perhaps, by her locks of reddest flame? A beauty she is, indeed, for those who would claim otherwise must be utter fools. Surely such a vision of loveliness has come hearing rumors of my chivalry and honor, and wishes to dine with me? Very well, then, I, Kuno Tatewaki, age seventeen, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, shall-"

Akane, who was quietly seething throughout Kuno's soliloquoy, heard a crack of thunder from the sky above. Suddenly, she noticed just what he was saying. "Um… Kuno? I thought we agreed at the run-through that you should leave that part out."

"We did," grumbled CompMan. "And for a good reason."

The kendoist glanced at Akane questioningly for a moment, then her meaning reached him, at about the same time as the first raindrops hit the ground. "So we did. Very well, I shall try harder to remember for next time…" Kuno stopped, realizing that he now held the hand of a cold, wet, male Ranma. "The foul sorceror Saotome!" he exclaimed. "How is it that you now appear before me, where once stood the illustrious pigtailed goddess?!"

Ranma stared at the other boy, one eyebrow twitching slightly. "Uh, Kuno? I thought you said you'd finally got the point."

Kuno stood, releasing Ranma's hand. He nodded sagely, answering in a respecting tone tainted with some measure of contempt. "It is so. Forsooth, I have known for some time, despite my actions. It pains me greatly to accept that my osage-no-onna and yourself are one and the same, but at the same stroke, I realize that were it not so, things would never… work out… between us, anyhow. 'Like the wind,' as I once said, would she flutter into my heart, verily, into my soul, and fly away once more to be with her fellow angels, winging on high, the gilt harp of her voice-"

"Kuno, shut up," CompMan interrupted.

"Certainly, kantoku-sama."

"Okay, everybody, let's get as much equipment indoors as we can. We'll try take Two after the rain lets up."

Part 3, Scene 3

Now where am I? Ryoga thought, eyeing the town's bright banners and market stands. Maybe I should ask someone for directions-again. He approached a man at a smaller booth. "Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to Furinkan High School? Right here, you see, on this map."

"Ah, sir… this is a map of Tokyo."

"Of course. That's where I'm headed," Ryoga stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"But you're in Sapporo!"

"Er… really? Crap. Which way is Tokyo from here?"

"It's pretty much straight that way," the stranger replied. He pointed southward, to where Ryoga could just make out Mount Fuji's peak through the mist.

"Thank you very much."

"Umm… hey, Ryoga, where are you going? That's the way I pointed," said the booth owner.

Ryoga stopped, and turned to give the man a curious look. "Right, that's why I'm going-- oh. Hehe." He scratched the back of his head.

"Cut," CompMan yelled into the megaphone. "Oh, boy… even when you're trying to get lost, you get lost, Ryoga," he continued, chuckling. "Places, guys. Take Two."

Part 3, Scene 3 (Take Two)

"Ah, sir… this is a map of Sapporo."

"Of course. I'm in Sappo--" Ryoga stopped short. "Wait, what happened to my map of Tokyo!"

The man laughed, saying, "I don't think you'll find a Tokyo high school in Sapporo, Ryoga."

"Cut! Maybe in some other Japan," offered CompMan with a laugh. "Who switched the maps?"

A tentative hand raised beside him. "Sorry," Mousse admitted. He shrugged. "They look the same from a distance."

"Sure they do… sure they do. Take Three, people."

Part 3, Scene 11

Ranma waited out the second half of the school day in the clinic. Even though Akane had simply fainted from shock, Ranma wanted to be there when she woke up. Ryoga had nowhere else to be, so he sat with the redhead, listening to her recount some of the better moments in her sixteen years. He was amazed to learn that she counted the years she'd spent with him at middle school among those times.

An hour later, she had wound down the tale, and turned to Ryoga beside her. "So, you could say that's the story of my life," concluded the girl with a smile. "How about you? What've you been doin' all these years, eh?"

The lost boy shrugged. "There's… not much to tell," he sighed. "I've been, well"-an embarrassed chuckle left his lips-"lost."

"Aww, c'mon, it can't be all that bad, ne? Betcha you've seen some cool places I ain't never been to."

"Believe me, Ranma… there are places that you don't want to get lost. Didn't you say something about a place in China that was full of cursed pools? Just imagine," he said, waving his hands dramatically, "what might happen if I got lost someplace like that! I might end up as a- a canteloupe or something!"

Ranma raised an eyebrow, and a smirk lit her face. "Good think I like canteloupe, then," she teased.

CompMan took up his megaphone, and shouted "Cut!"

"Sorry," Ryoga said, shrugging in embarrassment. "I knew it was something with 'c' in it."

"Camel," Ranma and CompMan said as one. The redhead added, "You know, the things with humps."

It was CompMan's turn to raise his eyebrow. Perhaps some things were better left unsaid. But he could think them. Akane was right. He is a pervert. "From the top, guys."

Part 3, Scene 11 (Take Two)

The lost boy shrugged. "There's… not much to tell," he sighed. "I've been, well"-an embarrassed chuckle left his lips-"lost."

"Aww, c'mon, it can't be all that bad, ne? Betcha you've seen some cool places I ain't never been to."

"CUUUUUT!"

"What?" Ryoga asked.

Ranma grinned. "You did it again."

"Dammit."

"Take Three," announced CompMan.

Author's Notes: Thankfully, except for Chapter 3, our many setbacks were resolved quickly. This little omake is just to say, "I'm still alive, guys!" And for good measure, so that you don't think I'm lazing off like last time, here's a quick teaser for Chapter 4….

Teaser for Part 4: The Cat's Pyjamas

"Ohayo…" came a tired greeting from the back door. Kasumi looked up from her work, and gasped.

"Ah! Ranma-chan! What on earth are you doing out there? Did something happen to you?"

Ranma yawned widely and stretched his arms above his head, dripping rainwater onto the floor. "Kasumi? Why're ya- ooooh. Naw, not something-someone. And his name's Ki-chan," he hissed.

"'Ki-chan'?" inquired Kasumi. "Is he a boy from school?"

"Worse," the pigtailed boy answered, yawning again, but this time remembering to cover his mouth politely. "Much worse. He's a c-cat."

"Oh, my. Where did you find him? Do you plan to keep him? If you do, I'll go to the store and get some things for him," said the eldest Tendo, a friendly smile on her face. "Cats are so cute, don't you think? Especially kittens."

Muttering under her breath, Ranma shook his head. "No. They aren't. And it ain't mine. It's Akane's," he grumbled. He trudged to the staircase, nearly tripping over the first step while rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Kasumi looked a little abashed at Ranma's rudeness, but took it in stride. "I see; I never knew Akane had gotten a cat. I'll have to ask her about it," Kasumi said quietly to herself. "I do hope she's keeping it."

Ranma tripped over the top step.

Back to the Author: Here I go again. I'll keep writing if you keep reading. Jaa!