Romance Fan Fiction / Other Fan Fiction ❯ Cancer ❯ Animal I have Become ( Chapter 4 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

A/N: So, last chapter, Cassie told Bob she loved him. Yay me! Well, this chapter, drama continues. You’re gonna hate me. I know it. Mary and Catie’ll IM me screaming. You’ll all hate me. I know it. Just wait til the end of this chapter. You will. So, here we go, on with the story! Chapter..... idk of Cancer: Two men who’ve lost all doubt in a chemical romance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
Cassie’s words left Bob shocked, and confused. He sat there, staring blankly at her, his face full of shock. She kept her smile until she finally fainted from her exhaustion. But Bob still had no idea of the world around him. All’s he heard was her graceful words that still hung about in his head.

So it wasn’t until the calling of his name brought him back to the reality of things: The girl who loved him was dying. And when he looked down at her again, now not in his state of shock, he saw her bleeding figure, and he couldn’t help but grab it, and cling to her. Though she was a unconscious heap, he still felt some comfort in holding her.

And once again he was trapped within his mind and his state of being. He was lost in his own self, and his new found love for this girl was keeping that state of mind there.

Bob’s friends, as they rushed over, could tell Bob was not okay. They knew something was wrong, when they saw him holding the beaten and bleeding girl in his arms. Gerard turned Bob, so he could see his face, and when he saw the look of utter insanity on Bob’s face, Gerard knew it was time to intervene. “Bob! Get a hold of yourself!” Gerard shook his friend, as Frank and Ray tried to release the girl from Bob’s grip. But Bob wouldn’t let go.

He wouldn’t let them take away the only fan he had.

Frank and Ray tugged at Bob’s grip, but to no avail. “Gerard, Bob’s got a good grip on her. She’ll die if she doesn’t get taken care of soon.” Frank told Gerard. To this Gerard nodded. “Bert! Go and call an ambulance. Take Mikey’s cell phone.” Gerard ordered. Bert nodded, and ran outside with Mikey. Then Gerard focused on Bob. “Bob! Let go of her!” Gerard ordered once again.

Bob just shook his head violently, and yelled. “No! I won’t let you take the only friend I have away!” He cried. At this Gerard became a lot more aware, and his face grew shocked. He was surprised that Bob had said that. But this didn’t stop him from yelling at Bob. After seeing the girl’s face turning almost blue, he couldn’t help but yell. “Bob, if you keep this up she’ll die! You’ll KILL her!” After Gerard screamed, he quickly let go. He hadn’t realized what he was doing, and he hadn’t been himself. So now being that he was more aware, he had to look down at Cassie, and see what she looked like now.

And it wasn’t the best. She still bled, though some wounds had tried to heal themselves. Her face didn’t seem as bad as before, but it was bloody. Everything was bloody. The floor, her clothes, her face, her hair. Everything.
And it was as he slowly peered down at himself that he too found himself covered in her blood. His eyes kept going from her body, to his shaking hands, which he held up to get a better look at them. “No....” He whispered, his eyes wide open from shock.

Gerard looked like he would say something, but was interrupted by the doors bursting open with Bert, Mikey and two EMT’s. “There she is! She needs to be brought to a hospital right away.” The one EMT spoke. The other just followed orders, and helped to lift the girl’s body onto the stretcher. Bob witnessed all of this, and couldn’t help but ask himself, What did I do?

The two EMT’s stared coldly at the bloody Bob. They instantly assumed that with her blood all over him, he was the cause of this girl’s suffering. And once that stretcher was out the door, Bob fell to his knees screaming. He covered his ears from the agony of his own thoughts.

Gerard, who had recently been giving a cold attitude towards Bob’s rebellion, now softened up. He saw Bob’s shock and sorrow, and he knew that this girl meant something to Bob. He bent down next to Bob, and rubbed his friend’s back. When Bob sat up, Gerard still kept his hand on the slightly younger man’s back. “You really care about this strange girl, don’t you?” Gerard’s soft, sweet voice asked his friend.

Bob said nothing. He just sat, staring sadly ahead of him.

Gerard didn’t wait for an answer. He knew what Bob would say. “It’s okay Bob. I feel for a stranger too, at one point. And that stranger happened to be the best damn thing that ever happened to me.” Gerard sighed dreamily, reminiscing about his first encounter with his beloved Bert.

Bob still spoke no words, but tears began to form in his eyes as images of the girl’s smile haunted him. Even the images of her brutally torn body lay out before him.

Gerard just stooped down, next to his friend, who was sitting on his knees. He pat the man firmly on the back, and smiled softly. “It’s okay Bob. You can cry.”

And as if it was his cue, Bob fell from his kneeling position to a slumped over body on the floor, sobbing for the girl. Gerard kneeled next to his friend, and clasped his hands together, almost as if in prayer. God, please save her soul tonight.... Gerard prayed for this ‘Fallen angel’, as he would’ve put later.



Cassie was instantly rushed to the hospital, where they put her in the critical condition ward. It was not a very crowded place, as not too many people ever got hurt in that town. Mainly only the gays, and any other way of life that had prejudice. So she instantly got the best room out of all. It was fully equipped with all of the essentials, IV, heart monitor, and any other necessities to keep her alive.

Of course, being in the hospital room surrounded by machines and needles didn’t go over so well with her once she woke up.

It was about four hours after she had been taken to the hospital when My Chemical Romance’s show had ended. And of course Bob’s first priority was to see Cassie, the girl who had risked being beaten half to death by assholes, just so that Bob could play the drums at the show.

A sickeningly sweet masochism. How cute.

But it all made Bob feel guilty. He couldn’t stand that she WANTED to get hurt. Who ever would want that? Other than a sick freak, or someone in desperate need of help. But Cassie didn’t seem like either of those to Bob. No, she was more the quiet, sweet type, and was definitely one that you would never expect would listen to half the music that she listened to.

So back to the hospital. Bob was accompanied by Gerard, who felt just as guilty for this girl’s pain. He thought that if they had made the room for the girl to sit, she would’ve never been half raped, or beaten. So of course he felt the desire to go.

Once inside the bright, clean smelling hospital, Bob instantly got the shivers. He was always nervous in hospitals, as they weren’t the best place to be. It seemed to remind him of death. Or at least something of the sort.

Besides it was too bright. It was like one of those things that usually represent something sweet and nice, but is really scary at this time. Like one of those creepy clowns with the crazy smile. Or those things that seem to stare at you, and seem to follow you around. It just freaked you out, until finally you broke down.

Well this place was no better. Bright white was basically the main theme here. Everything– The floors, the walls, even the furniture–was bright white. It almost sickening, in fact. No wonder the hospital creeped him out so much.

Bob’s nervousness subsided for a minute, when the nurse at the front desk questioned his motives here. “Excuse me sir, do you need some help?” The tall reddish-brown haired nurse in the front desk asked. When Bob turned to answer, the woman gave out a slight gasp. “You– You’re Gerard Way! And you’re Bob Bryar! You guys are in that band! My Chemical Romance!” She said, gushing. Bob smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, you a fan?” Gerard asked her. The woman nodded.

She looked to be no older than Cassie, but was definitely taller. She looked to be even taller than the thirty year old Gerard, who was only about 5'9". Her nurses outfit was similar to those of all the other nurses, except the only thing different was that her post had many pictures of bands, and next to her bag you could see the sleeve of a MCR sweatshirt. Under her nurses outfit, she wore a shirt of yet another band, Fall Out Boy. Obviously this girl was a big fan.

Her name tag read “Mary McManus”. “Well, Mary, we do actually need some help.” Gerard said, being the more social one. Bob just nodded, his nervousness easing back into him as a stretcher with a woman who was bleeding profusely from the wrists was wheeled down the hallway.

Mary got embarrassed as Gerard had to mention the fact that they were here for a reason. “Oh! I’m sorry. I totally forgot. I’m sorry, I’m a complete moron, I know.” She tried to laugh off her nervousness, not doing so well. “So, who is it that you are looking for?” Mary asked, taking out her list of patients in the ward. “Well, I’m looking for–“ Bob began to speak up, but was cut off by a girl’s voice screaming, “GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!”

Bob looked like he was about to anime sweat-drop, as he sighed, “Found her....” He sounded embarrassed, as he hurriedly went over in the direction of the sound. Gerard followed close behind, trying to smile away all the awkward stares of the many visitors and nurses.

“NO!!! GET THAT NEEDLE AWAY FROM ME!!” She kicked and screamed like a child, crawling steadily away from the nurses with the Intravenous. “But Cassie, we only want to help you....” The nurse calmly said, looking worried.

“STAY BACK YOU SICK FUCKS!” She shouted as she whipped at them with the blanket. She tried to escape further away from them, but she was backed up against a wall, and therefore was forced to stay. The nurses just stared at her, trying to calm her down. “Please, child, you have to calm down! You need this or else!” The second nurse said. She had a thick accent which was recognizable as that of someone from Louisiana. So of course the ‘child’ part was a usual phrase for her, though she seemed to only be a few years older than Cassie.

Bob and Gerard came in to the scene, and almost jumped at the shrillness of her screams. Gerard covered his ears, in an attempt to save some of his hearing. But Bob just stood there. He had his eyes fixated on Cassie, then the nurses, then back to Cassie, who seemed to be oblivious to the fact that they were there. “I DON’T NEED IT!!! I’m fine without it.” She yelled, wishing they would just go away. Tears streamed down her face, as this was something important to her. She was deathly afraid of needles, and she wouldn’t let almost dying change that.

Now the southern nurse was aggravated. “Child, if you don’t calm down and put this in your arm you’ll DIE! Do you want that?” She too began yelling. Cassie froze, tears still flowing, hearing her ask if she wanted to die. “I don’t care anymore. I’m not important to anybody anyway...” She sighed sadly.

The nurses barely understood what she said, or what she meant, but Bob got it. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes, for this girl’s life WAS important.

It was important to him. And that’s all that mattered.

“Cassie!” Bob commanded, which made the girl turn her head, and quit her crying. “Bob?” She asked softly. “Get down. Lie back on the pillows.” Bob told her, moving forward. Cassie was puzzled, but she did as she was told. Bob then took a chair, pulled it over, and sat down next to her bed. He brushed hair out of her face, and smiled at her. She looked up at him, slightly nervous at what would happen next. Bob’s smile faded as he turned to the nurses, who were both amazed at his control of the girl. “All right, get it ready.” He told them, as he grabbed her left arm, which was on the other side of the bed. He grabbed it, and held a good grip on it.

Cassie looked at him confused. “Bob, what’re they getting ready?” She asked, turning her head to see them getting the IV cleaned up and ready. She gasped, and tried to struggle, but she was too weak to break free of Bob’s strong hold. Tears began streaming down her face again. “You tricked me.” She cried softly. Bob just shook his head no. He then let go of her arm for a minute to hug the girl. “I didn’t trick you. Trickery is reserved for people I don’t like.”

Cassie questioned what it meant. Does that means he likes me, or does that still mean he tricked me? She asked herself. But while she was questioning, Bob grabbed her arm again, and nodded to the nurses, signaling that they should try to put it in.

She began to cry even more, as she bit her lip. “Bob...” She cried softly, not wanting him to suddenly run off as she was “tortured”. Bob just smiled softly. “I’m not going anywhere.” He told her. She grabbed his right hand, with her right hand, and squeezed it, as if she was going through some major operation. She began sobbing as they began to slowly bring it towards her arm.

It was like they were doing it in slow motion. They seemed to take so long to just touch the skin, that Cassie began to grow impatient, and winced when it finally touched. She squeezed his hand tighter when they went through. And once it was all over, she let go of his hand, and strained not to look at the needle. But of course she was a creature of habit. Curiosity killed the cat, as they say.

She kept her eyes fixated on it, for about fifteen minutes. Until the tears clouded her eyes, and she could barely see. Cassie began to sob, and couldn’t control it. She could feel herself choking on the tears. Bob felt badly about her crying. He just couldn’t stand it.

“Stop crying!” He demanded. She froze and looked up at him, as did the ever so silent Gerard, who sat idly in the corner. “You shouldn’t be the one crying.....” He said, his eyes brimming with tears. “I should be the one crying.” He told her. She sat up, now not as afraid of the IV as she was before. “Why?” She asked softly.

Bob slumped back in his chair. He brushed his long blonde bangs out of his big blue eyes. They now sparkled with his tears. He sighed heavily, unsure of if he should tell her. “You can tell me Bob. I promise I’ll listen.” She said, turning to face him.

He looked up, and sighed once more. “Well, there’s this girl that I think I might like. But I’m not too sure if I know much of anything about her. But she is really nice and kind, from the times that we have talked, which isn’t really a lot.” He paused looking up at her, making sure she was listening.
“Go on.” She said, obviously paying much attention to his story.

“Well, this girl knows everything about me, and I feel bad because I don’t know a thing about her, except that she likes me.” Bob said, another heavy sigh.

Cassie’s heart sunk, hearing about this girl that Bob likes. “Go on, what happened?” She asked, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“Well, She did something for me, that I don’t think I could ever find a way to repay her. She risked herself for me. All for one concert....” Bob said, kind of trailing off, forgetting that he was trying to keep it low-key, so she wouldn’t think it was her.

But Cassie seemed to get it. Or at least somewhat. “So, what happened to her? Where is she?” She asked, not fully understanding.

Bob just sighed once more, and began to speak. “She’s in this very hospital, and I’m grateful that I even get to be graced by her very presence. But she feels so unimportant, and thinks that no one loves her, even though she’s beautiful to me.” He stopped, and looked down. “But all this amounts to nothing, because she will never understand that she’s the most important person in the world in my eyes.” He finally finished, and looked up to see Cassie smiling, her eyes almost ready to burst with tears.

“Bob.... I understand perfectly.” She whispered. She brought her lips down onto his, and went to passionately make out with him. Bob was surprised to see how quick she was to get it, but knew that she seemed like a smart girl, so he always had a feeling that she would get it. When he broke the kiss, he smiled at her.

Gerard, who still resided in the corner, resisted the urge to have one of those “awww” moments. But he did find it sweet that they turned a bad situation into a much lighter, happier one. He couldn’t help but wear a huge grin.

But Bob’s smile faded as he saw she began to feel some of the pain from before. She feel back to the bed, groaning with pain. The anesthetic was beginning to wear off, so she was aching. But that subsided, as a nurse walked in to deliver some well needed anesthetic to the poor girl.

And once that was down, there was not much left to do. They all sat around, not knowing what to do next. That is until Cassie ushered Bob to a spot right next to her on the bed. Bob didn’t refuse. He hopped up into the spot that she eagerly patted with her hand. She smiled, as Bob but his arm around her, and gave her a half hug.

Cassie took out the remote from the side of the bed, and smiled. “Let’s see what’s on TV, shall we?” She asked. The two men nodded. She turned on one channel, to be surprised with footage from the concert. She turned to Bob, who was just smiling. Her head kept flipping back from the tv to Bob, until she hugged him, and said, “Bob! You were taping this concert? Why didn’t you tell me?” Bob just smirked. “Well, it’s not everyday that an amazing girl gets the shit beaten out of her for one concert.” Bob commented. She just smiled, and kissed him once again. “Thank you, Bob. I love you.”

She rolled over into his arms, and snuggled close to him, to get ready for one long night of sweet concert footage, and a few big hugs from a very kind, and gorgeous, drummer.


Gerard smiled at the two, thinking they should be left alone. “Well, I’m gonna go home. Bert’s probably waiting for me. Goodnight guys!” He said wearily, waving. The two waved back, and Cassie almost seemed sad. “Goodnight Gerard. I hope you come back to visit tomorrow, and we could be better friends.” She said.

Gerard just smiled, and nodded. “Can do.” Then he left, seeing Cassie smile.

Gerard walked out of Cassie’s room, and waved a final goodbye to Mary, the nurse from before. She sighed dreamily as she watched Gerard walk out the door, and had to stop herself from screaming.

Gerard then entered the extremely bright city, which was a very odd thing to him. He wasn’t really into super bright places, as he was just fine with the dark. So this city wasn’t the best place for him, the king of darkness. But of course his band mates all ready left, and Bert didn’t have a car, so really there was no hope in getting a ride. So he walked home.

He walked all the way from that big, bright lit city, to the smaller town in which they lived. The nice, sweet, suburban paradise in which he had come to know and love. Or more come to detest. But it was mainly the people he detested. He loved the atmosphere, but never the inhabitants. Other than his friends, everyone else was a dick. But he did learn that today not everyone that he didn’t know was a dick. That girl Cassie was pretty nice, though I really didn’t get to know her too well. I guess not everyone here is a dick. He told himself.

He began to look around at his surroundings, noticing little things now. There were bats in this part of California, in the suburbia in which he lived. He loved it. Bats were one of his favorite animals, and they intrigued him, so that was of course a major plus for him. Two bats flew by, they seemed to be in love, and then Gerard couldn’t help but think of Bert. He smiled, thinking of the man he adored so much. Bert was just like a loyal little dog. He just knew that Bert would be in Gerard’s apartment, even though Bert didn’t have a key.

And of course when Gerard came back to his lovely apartment, the lock had been picked, and there sat Bert in the living room, watching television. The living room was dark, and the only light was from the television, which blasted some reality show on MTV. The couch that Bert sat on was actually a recliner couch, and Bert had it laid back into a relaxing pose, one which Gerard feel asleep to repeatedly, as he was afraid to be all alone in the bedroom. Apparently a girl was murdered in there, and he felt like she haunted him. So it was great to finally have someone to be there with him, so he wouldn’t be so frightened by this ghost.

“Hey Gerard. What’s up?” Bert asked, holding up a beer to greet his partner. Gerard just sighed wearily.

“How’d you get in here?” Gerard asked. Bert looked confused. “I picked the lock. Wanna see how?” Bert asked, almost excited to show Gerard his skills. “I know that! I mean how’d you get in without people seeing you and calling the cops?” Bert just laughed. “Oh, I taped up the security cameras. Nobody can see anything.” Bert smiled fiendishly.

Gerard sighed, and rubbed his face with his hand. “God Bert, you are so oblivious aren’t you?” Bert just looked even more confused. His dark black hair fell into his face, as he turned his head to one side. “What’re you talking about, my sweet vampire?” Bert asked, using one of his loving pet names. Gerard rolled his eyes. “If you tape up that security camera, then you put everyone else at risk! What if some demented freak came here? With the cameras taped up, no one would know, and everyone whose door was unlocked would be killed. And because you picked the lock and left in unlocked, that freak would’ve killed you! Do you know what I’d do without you?” Gerard asked worriedly, walking over to Bert.

Bert smiled. “Gerard, are you worried about me?” He asked childishly. Gerard rolled his eyes again, at the obviously stupid question. “That’s a stupid question. Why wouldn’t I be, with the way you treat yourself.” Gerard said, growing angry with Bert. But Bert just smiled again, and turned away. “Well, you don’t have to worry. I can take care of myself. Bert’s a big boy now, Gee.” Bert said, looking down at the ground.

Gerard let out a sigh of frustration. “No, you obviously can’t, because you aren’t do a good job. Honestly, you treat yourself like shit. Bert, you don’t give a damn about what happens to you.” Gerard said angrily. “Listen don’t be so god damn protective of me! I’m fine all right, worry about yourself, instead of me. I don’t see why you protect me so much.” Bert got up, feeling a little bit annoyed by the whole situation. He didn’t need his lover giving him shit. Gerard just growled. “Well, I obviously need to because I’m the only one that will!” Gerard yelled at him, raising his hand as if to hit Bert. He gave a sadistic look almost, and slapped Bert hard on the face. It hit so hard, that Bert’s bled, and that blood ended up on Gerard’s hand.

Bert jumped backwards, and when he hit the chair, he saw past memories of being beaten by his overly Mormon father. Bert inched as far away from Gerard as he could, feeling frightened of him. Normally nothing scared Bert, but this was no normal time. His past recollections were too scary, and those times had been Bert’s hardest. To feel it all again, it brought tears to his eyes. “No daddy....” Bert whispered, and curled up into a fetal position.

Gerard snapped out if it instantly, not knowing where he was, or what just happened. “Huh? What just...?” he asked, looking at the scared and whimpering Bert. Then he looked at his hand, and saw the blood. “B-blood?” He asked. Then he saw the blood on Bert’s cheek. Or the blood that had wiped onto his bare arm. “What? Bert, what–?” He went to ask Bert, who flinched when Gerard spoke. Gerard looked confused at all this. Gerard came closer to Bert, and asked, “Bert, what just–?” He touched Bert’s head, who whimpered softly at the touch. “Make it go away.... Make it all go away....” He whispered softly. Gerard heard him whispering, and knew what had just happened. But he didn’t understand why. Bert was always such a tough and strong guy, that seeing him like this was horrible to Gerard.

And then it hit him: Bert was beaten as a child.

He had to go through it again, the same torture, like when he was younger. That’s what made Bert reduced to a fetal position, whimpering like a child. That’s what made Bert terrified of Gerard.

Gerard looked at it now, and his eyes went blank. “Oh my god..... I did this to him.... I’m.... I’m a monster!” Gerard began to cry, as Bert sat trembling in fear. Gerard couldn’t even reach out to hug Bert, because every little touch Gerard did, Bert was even more scared. “I’m so sorry....” He whispered, but that was all he could muster, because the pain in Gerard’s heart was too intense. It was heart breaking to know that you hurt your lover in such a way that they would fear you.

He stood up, and walked over to the table that sat by it’s lonesome in the corner of the room. It was close to the television, and held notepaper. He took out a pen, and with the tears streaming down his face, he wrote out a letter to Bert.

Once he finished, he left it right next to Bert’s chair. He almost began to sob violently due to the fact that he couldn’t kiss his beautiful one goodbye one last time. “I love you Bert....” He whispered, as he walked into the bedroom. He tied a telephone cord to a beam on the ceiling, and took a small chair. He tied the cord into a good knot, but one that would close if all of Gerard’s weight was put onto it. His sobs became a little more evident, as he stood on the chair, and stared down at the floor. He was unsure of what to do, whether or not to jump off. But then the violent images of what he assumed was what happened came to his mind, and he screamed in agony.
.
He knew what had to be done.


Bert loosened up, seeing that Gerard was gone. He then looked at the note. “Huh?” He asked, cautiously taking the note. He opened it, and read aloud. “Bert, I love you. I am sorry for what I had done. I just wanted you to understand that I care so much about you. I care so much, that I don’t even care for myself. I love you, and could never live with myself if I hurt you. And that’s why I am probably dead right now.” Bert read, stopping at that part. “I love you forever, and I hope that when I’m gone you’ll live a better life without me. Just know that when I’m burning in hell for my horrid mistake, I will still be looking out for you. I love you, and always have, my sweet prince. I’m sorry, but, your little vampire is no more..” Bert finished, feeling really upset. “Gerard.... Where are you?” He cried out, but it came as more of a hoarse cry, due to his sorrow.

Gerard looked down once more, and said, “Goodnight my sweet prince, your Vampire is no more.” He cried, as he took a final breath. And then he kicked out the chair, and cried as he gasped for breath.
I guess this is how it ends. I deserve this......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Ha! You’re probably screaming right? “Oh no! GEE!!!!” I know you are. The suspense WILL KILL YOU!!! Mwahahahaha! I’m so evil. I told you you’ll hate me. But don’t worry. It’ll turn around, I promise. Maybe. Or not. I’m spontaneous. I’ll change my mind in a flash. But, you’ll just have to see next chapter. When we return to Cancer: Two men who’ve lost all doubt in a chemical romance.