Romance Fan Fiction / Other Fan Fiction ❯ Stars Above - A Cassunzel Fanfic ❯ Chapter 9: Beneath the Surface ( Chapter 9 )

"Momma, why can't I go outside?" A little girl with blonde hair and emerald eyes asked, barely above the age of 4.

"Because it's not safe, my flower. Now, leave mommy alone, I'm busy." The older woman sat while she studied herself in the mirror with an egotistical smile.

"But mama-" Rapunzel started. Gothel turned to her with a glare.

"Do as I say or you will be punished."

"But I'm bored." Rapunzel whined.

Gothel sighed and turned to the little girl. "I hope you know your mommy doesn't enjoy doing this, flower." Gothel stated while she reached behind her and grabbed a metallic object. Rapunzel's eyes widened as she backed up with fear.

"I'll leave you alone, momma, I promise!"

"I'm sorry my little flower, but you need to learn how to behave and do what you are told." Gothel advanced on her as Rapunzel backed herself against a wall, tears streaming down her face. Gothel raised the metallic object over her head and swung it down. Rapunzel closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable.

Rapunzel woke up with a start. Breathing roughly, she shot up. Realizing she was safe, she started to calm down. After all these years, Rapunzel pushed down any remembrance of Gothel down. She had almost forgotten about the abuse she was put through during those horrible 18 years. She has never told anyone that not only did Gothel keep her isolated for a big part of her life, but she would also occasionally beat her. Especially when drunk. When Gothel's 'love' wasn't enough to keep her put, she often used... drastic measures. Most nights Rapunzel would go to bed bruised and on the worst nights, bloody. She always blamed herself whenever she drove her 'mother' to that point, a part of her still does. 

Rapunzel looked around. It was still dark. Cassandra and Rapunzel, after a couple weeks of healing, left the town they stayed in just a few short hours ago. After Cassandra's and Rapunzel's admission, they began to start a new relationship together. It was new, a little weird at times, but Rapunzel couldn't have been happier. Ever since her and Cass got together a couple weeks prior, she had seen sides of Cassandra she never got to see. Sides she didn't even know existed. 

Rapunzel looked around only to find her best fri- no, girlfriend sleeping just a couple feet away. Cassandra, as always, took first watch. She must have fallen asleep. Although Cassandra was practically healed, she was still forced to take medication. The medication wasn't like the one she had before, the one that made her all loopy, but it still had its side effects. Fatigue being one of them. 

Cassandra's job of looking out for danger was over in a couple hours then it would have been Rapunzel's turn. But Raps decided that she wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway, and her girlfriend could use the rest, so she sat up to doodle in her notebook.

 A couple minutes passed then Cassandra started shivering in her sleep at the slight change in the wind and tossed and turned slightly. Rapunzel placed her notebook back in her bag and moved over to Cass, gently placing her head in her lap as she leaned against a tree. Rapunzel then pulled a blanket over her and gently ran her fingers through her hair. Rapunzel's heart softened and she smiled when Cass relaxed and cuddled into her. 

Suddenly feeling exhausted, Rapunzel dozed off. 

Rapunzel groaned as the light of the sun hit her in the face. Squinting, she slowly opened her eyes, yawning and wiping the sleep out of her eyes. She panicked for a second when she didn't feel any pressure in her lap and snapped her eyes open; looking around frantically. She immediately relaxed upon seeing Cassandra a few feet away, cooking fish in a fire she must have made when Rapunzel was asleep. She was humming a sweet melody. 

Cassandra finally noticed the stirring girl watching her as she turned her head and smiled at her. "Morning Raps." 

Rapunzel stretched then crawled over to her girlfriend and sat next to her. "Morning Cass." She gave her a smile, but it didn't seem real as she turned and looked into the fire. She was hoping Cass didn't notice.

She did. She always did. She gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "You okay, Raps?" Rapunzel turned to her and she could see the concern in her eyes.

It made Rapunzel smile as she nodded. "Yeah.. Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just..." Rapunzel trailed off. Should she tell her? ".....tired."

"She's lying." Cassandra thought, frowning. She knew that if Rapunzel didn't want to talk about it, there was nothing Cassandra could do or say to get it out. Sometimes she was more stubborn than her when it came to stuff like this. "Okay.. But we should get moving soon." Rapunzel only nodded. 

Rapunzel seemed... off. Ever since they started moving again, she was unusually quiet. When she noticed Cass looking at her, she would start talking about everything and everything she could. She was avoiding eye contact. Fidgeting. Quiet. Forcing an unusual large smile. There was something wrong. To anyone else who didn't know her like Cass did, they would've said everything seemed fine. Rapunzel was good at hiding and pretending like everything was okay when it wasn't. But Cassandra wasn't so easily deterred. 

Cassandra was about to ask for the 16th time but then she stopped in her tracks and her eyes widened. Rapunzel stopped next to her. "Woah." She heard her mutter. What stood before them was a horror to behold. Trees were destroyed, there was trash littering the place, the grass was picked up and destroyed, there was a caravan, broken to pieces and abandoned. It looked like hell.

Rapunzel and Cassandra looked at each other in worry as they started forward again. Rapunzel went to examine some of the trees that had claw marks scratched against its bark. She gently traced the marks then turned to Cassandra, who was examining the caravan. "Who would have done this?"

"I'm not sure," Cassandra responded. "But it was definitely no animal." Cassandra looked around some more. She looked for anything. Clues, marks, an idea about what kind of creature did this. Somewhere dug in the dirt, Cassandra saw the shine of some golden object sticking out of the ground. Walking over to it, she dug it up and picked up the mysterious object. It was like a bat but small. And metal. A handheld one, possibly used for defending oneself. Or something to use when one would want to surprise an enemy. She examined the thing. There was blotches of dried blood on the end of the item. But it was faded, very faded, the blood was very, very old. 

She was about to set the object back down on the floor, deciding that it was useless, but she heard a terrified gasp behind her. Swinging around, hand on sword, but stopped when she noticed Rapunzel staring at the object in her hand. Her hands were over her mouth and she was staring at it in horror. She looked terrified. Cassandra had never seen that expression on Rapunzel before. Ever. 

Worried, Cassandra walked towards her, but she backed up. Cassandra stopped. Was she scared of her? Realizing that Rapunzel wasn't looking at her, her eyes were fixated on the object, she realized that she wasn't scared of her at all. She was scared of the object held in her hand. But why? Cassandra quickly dropped it and Rapunzel watched as it clattered to the floor. But she didn't move. Her face stayed in the same terrified expression, her hands never leaving her mouth. Cassandra vaguely noticed that Rapunzel was slightly shaking. 

"Raps?" Cassandra asked and moved forward. Rapunzel didn't respond. Didn't look at her. Her eyes were fixated on the object. "Rapunzel?" Cassandra placed a hand on her shoulder and Rapunzel jumped, snapping her eyes back up to meet Cassandra's. Cassandra quickly tore her hand back in surprise. She watched as Rapunzel's terrified expression slowly melted away as she realized that it was her. Rapunzel then looked away and placed one hand on her opposite arm and gripped it tightly. Once she visibly calmed down, Cassandra made her move. "What was that all about?" She asked, worry laced in her voice.

"Nothing! It was nothing." Rapunzel ended in a whisper. 

"It was clearly not nothing. What's going on Rapunzel?" Rapunzel looked up to meet her eyes again. She looked... hesitant. Scared. Unsure. "Hey, you can tell me. It's just me." She tried to give her a reassuring smile but her worry got the better of her. 

Rapunzel opened her mouth then she closed it. "I..uhm... If I tell you, you're gonna be mad.." Cassandra was the last person she wanted to find out. Afterall, Gothel was her birth mother.. Whenever she came up in conversation, she could always see the anger behind Cassandra's eyes directed towards her. She didn't want to taint the few memories she had of her birth mother. They always seemed... important to her. 

"Raps, whatever it is, I promise I won't be mad. I'm just worried. Please?" Cassandra pleaded. 

Rapunzel was silent for a second before she looked back up at Cassandra and slowly nodded. Cassandra led her and Rapunzel to one of the fallen trees, now a log, as they sat up against it. Cassandra waited as Rapunzel gathered her thoughts. She would always wait for her. After a couple of minutes, Rapunzel finally started speaking, but she didn't look at her. Her legs were crossed, she was gently griping and stroking her arm and she was fidgeting. "It's about..." Rapunzel stopped. Cassandra leaned in. "....Gothel."

Cassandra's eyes widened as leaned back. Noticing that Rapunzel gripped her arm harder and a look of distress came over her face. She still refused to look at her. She looked like she was about to cry. Cassandra couldn't really blame her. The last time she talked about Gothel with her... Well, Cassandra tried to kill her. What was she scared of? Rejection? Anger? Didn't Rapunzel know that Cass was different now? Didn't she know that Cass would never leave her again, no matter what happens? Maybe she didn't. 

She placed a gentle hand on her knee. Rapunzel snapped her eyes towards her and she gave her a reassuring smile, hoping that her eyes were telling her that it's okay. She must have got the message because the fear in her eyes nearly faded as her eyes softened. She still looked away. "....W-When I was in the tower.. she didn't just... She didn't just tell me lies about the dangers of the outside world... She also.. Showed me." This time, Rapunzel did turn to look at her. 

"...What do you mean?" Cassandra asked. How did someone show that kind of thing?

Rapunzel looked away again and seemed to stare at the ground in front of her. "Well... she wanted me to fear the outside world. She wanted to scare me straight until I was too scared to do so much as move."

"...Raps, I already know this. You're avoiding the answer." Damn her for knowing her so well. 

Rapunzel bit her bottom lip and wrapped her arms around herself. "Anytime I didn't listen to her, anytime I asked about leaving, anytime I didn't leave her be...." Rapunzel stopped then took a shaky breath. "...She would hit me." She ended and Cassandra's eyes widened. "It happened nearly all the time. It made me fear the world, it made me feel as if everything I did was wrong. Sometimes, after days of being gone, she would come home, drunk. Even if I so much as breathed, she would grow angry and start brutally hitting me with..." Rapunzel looked towards the deposited object on the ground. "...with that. And various other devices. But that was always her go-to. She would apologize after, saying I led her to that point. She always said it was my fault. I believed it was my fault. I always wondered: What did I do wrong? Why did I always cause her so much pain? I tried everything in my power to... not do anything, but it always ended the same. I would go to bed some nights bruised, others bloody. It.. She never stopped even after I got older."

Cassandra was staring at her in disbelief. She knew Gothel was a terrible woman, but an abuser? Never crossed her mind. "...Raps, how old were you the first time she.." She trailed off but Rapunzel got the memo.

She hugged herself tighter, her face grimacing into one of agony and pain. "...I was three."

"Three.." Cassandra repeated, her voice in one of disbelief. Suddenly, her eyes flashed into one of rage as she looked at her distressed lover. "You were three??"

Rapunzel didn't look at her. "...I knew you would be mad." 

"Of course I am mad!" Cassandra seethed, Rapunzel only hugged herself tighter and looked away. She could see the building of tears. Cassandra huffed, stood up, then plopped to her knees in front of Rapunzel and gently, but still tightly, gripped her shoulders to make her look at her. Rapunzel chanced a look and she could see the rage hiding behind her hazel eyes. She looked pissed, even way more pissed than when she had the moonstone. She looked absolutely enraged. Cassandra tried to level her voice but wasn't very successful as she gripped the princess's shoulders tighter. When Rapunzel looked away, unable to see the look in her eyes anymore, Cassandra followed her gaze and tried to catch her eyes. "Before you start overthinking, I am not mad at you, Rapunzel." She said, her voice seething.

Rapunzel snapped her eyes to meet hers. "Then.. But.. She is..?"

"Maybe I once cared about that good-for-nothing witch, but not anymore. Especially after hearing this. Why didn't you tell me? Does Eugene know? What about your parents?"

Rapunzel shook her head. "No one but you." 

"You have been keeping this to yourself for nearly 7 years?? Now, that's what pisses me off. You should've told me sooner!" 

"How could I? I didn't want to taint what memories you had left." 

"Ugh, you should've told me waay before I even found out!" 

Rapunzel's eyes turned to one of anger too. "It's not like I'm going to tell all my friends about something as serious as this. It's not like it's something I want to talk about! After I left the tower, I left that life behind, I forced myself to forget." 

"But you called me your 'best friend', does that not count for nothing??"

"Of course it does, but-"

"But what? What about after? When I had the moonstone? You should've told me then!"

"I tried, but you wouldn't listen!"

"No, no Rapunzel, you didn't. You told me she was a terrible woman, you told me she wasn't a nurturer. You never once said she was an abuser!"

"Would you have even believed me?? You were so hurt, how could I tell you when you only had a couple memories of your mother? How could I tell you when you were in pain? How could I have told you when all you wanted was to believe that she loved you? I wasn't gonna ruin that! I wasn't gonna taint that! Because maybe she did love you! How could she not?? I didn't want to ruin the only thing that was keeping you together. That was keeping you going. You were in so much pain and I already hurt you so much, I didn't want to add to that, I didn't want to hur-"

"But I am hurt!" Cassandra interrupted. "Not because of what you told me, but because you didn't tell me!" Cassandra deflated. "...You shouldn't have kept something like that from me." She sat back on her knees. She looked so hurt. 

Rapunzel, taken over by guilt, leaned forward and pushed her bangs out of her face before resting her hand on her cheek. Cassandra didn't pull away but she also didn't really welcome it. "...I'm sorry Cass. I really, really am. I.... If it helps, I did want to tell you. Once we started becoming close, I wanted to tell you. But every time I tried, every time I tried to say something, I always backed out."

Cassandra looked her dead in the eye. "Why? At that time, had I not proven to you that I would be there? We were together practically every point of the day, even alone. Was I not worth it?"

"What?" Rapunzel asked before she shot herself forward and cupped both of Cass's cheeks. "Of course you were, are! I just.. I didn't want you to think of me any differently."

"Why would that make me see you any differently?"

Rapunzel shrugged. "Everyone saw one thing when it came to me: unbreakable. Always happy and smiling, always finding ways to be positive, always trying to make friends, never falling or breaking. That's what they all saw. You all counted on me to be your light, to be the one who brings everyone else up. To always find positivity in every situation. I couldn't... That's what everyone saw in me. That's what all saw as who I was. I couldn't afford to break, I couldn't allow it. If I had told you, I would have. So, I pushed everything that happened with Gothel away. I locked it up. To the point where it was as if she never existed. I couldn't tell you after you took the moonstone, either. I was so close to telling you when we got trapped in Gothel's cottage but.. I didn't."

"But why?" 

"....Because you needed me. You needed me to be strong for you, you needed me. They all did. My parents' memories were erased, I was the queen. Everyone counted on me to keep them safe and be the light when I didn't even know if there was any light to begin with. But, I acted... I acted as if everything was okay. I gave the people something to hold on to, to hope for. I couldn't afford to fall or break because if I did, even for a second, I could've let you slip right through my fingers. I could've lost you for good. And well.. that was a risk I wasn't willing to take. I know I never told you but... during the journey to the Dark Kingdom, I wanted nothing more than to confide in you. To listen to you. I questioned every single decision, I beat myself over it, I felt terrible. I could see the betrayal in your eyes whenever we talked after the fact. It was like.. everything changed. When I chose to listen to Adira instead of you... I could see how that affected you. But... I didn't have a choice. We were in a tough spot and... I was scared, I didn't know what to do, but I knew that I had to make those decisions. Everyone, Corona, was counting on me. I never meant to hurt you. Never. And I wanted nothing more to fix the rift that was torn between us. But after you got hurt, because of me, there was no fixing it. We weren't the same. And for a long time, I thought we never would be."

Cassandra looked deep into the princess's eyes. She could see fear behind her beautiful hues. Fear, not from earlier, fear of losing her. Fear of losing her now. There was also uncertainty behind those eyes, guilt, and pain. A woman who was never allowed to break, but was dying from the inside. She never thought that Rapunzel actually had a breaking point. She always seemed so strong, so sure, so put together. She held her head high and never doubted herself when making a decision. Cass could now see that it was all a facade. While Cassandra hid behind her emotions, Rapunzel was too. How could Cass not have seen it then? She was hurting, Rapunzel was hurting, and Cassandra had no idea. She was so focused on what she saw on the outside, that she didn't even wonder what was on the inside. Ironic, wasn't it? Cassandra couldn't see it because she was hurting herself. Maybe if she had looked deeper.... she would have. Maybe if she looked beneath the surface, she could have saved them both from a lot of trouble. 

Ever since she returned, Rapunzel always had a high responsibility. When did she ever get a break? Cassandra couldn't seem to find a time. Everything Rapunzel did, even leaving the kingdom, was for Corona. For their friends. For her. Because everyone told her that it was her destiny. To what? Die? Rapunzel was so willing to risk giving her life away because she had such a high moral. Everyone was counting on her to save them. Why Cassandra was seeing this now, after all this time, she had no idea. She should know better than anyone that things aren't always what they seem. 

"Please don't hate me," Rapunzel whispered as her hands shook, still firmly on her face. Cassandra could see the building tears. After everything they've been through together, why did Rapunzel think she would hate her? Perhaps it wasn't her fault. She had been lied to, hurt, beaten down time and time again and always stood strong her entire life. For the first time since she's known Rapunzel, she was actually seeing Rapunzel. 

Cassandra sighed and gently removed her hands from her face and before Rapunzel could take it the wrong way, she pulled the younger girl into her embrace. "I could never hate you." She whispered, gently running her hands through her shoulder-length brunette locks. 

"Are you still mad at me?" Rapunzel mumbled, her face buried in her chest. 

"No," Cassandra responded. "No, no, I never was. I was just.. hurt."

"I'm sorry, after all this time, I'm still..." Rapunzel dug her face into Cassandra's neck. "...Hurting you."

"Raps, I'm not hurting for myself." Cassandra gently pushed the girl away and held her at shoulder-length as Rapunzel gave her a saddened, confused look. Cassandra placed her hand on her cheek and rubbed lovingly with her thumb. Rapunzel leaned into her touch. "I'm hurt for you. You shouldn't... No one should be given a type of responsibility that makes them unable to be broken." Cassandra's eyes softened. "...You're not unbreakable, as I've said before. You deserve to break, to fall, to feel like the rest of us. But you never got to. You've always, always been focused on other people. But who is there to focus on you? Who is there to pick you up? Who is there to be your light? You might be the literal embodiment of the sunstone, the sun, but even the sun grows dark and grim. But you know what's always there, never far from the sun? What brightens the sun and keeps it shining into the beautiful light it is?"

"What?" Rapunzel whispered. 

Cassandra smiled sweetly and put her fingers under Rapunzel's chin to raise her head. "The moon." She stated simply. Rapunzel looked up to meet her eyes. "You were there for me in my darkest hour. You never gave up on me. You were... the only one who hadn't given up on me. You brought me back home. My world was dark, I was drowning, suffering, I was.. dying. But you brought the light back into my life and.. saved me. And I will never forget that. You taught me how to trust, you taught me how to confide, you taught me that I wasn't alone. Well... Why would you be any different? You don't have to go through everything alone. You don't need to be strong anymore. It's just you and me, out here, and well... What's the sun without its moon, hm?" 

Rapunzel's eyes filled with tears as she bit her bottom lip. "Nothing." She whispered and threw herself into Cass's arms. Body slightly shaking, she wrapped her arms around her neck and dug her face into her neck; letting out a sob in the process. Cassandra's heart broke. She wrapped her arms around her princess and rested her head on top of Rapunzel's as she came apart in her arms. Her body was shaking from the force of her own sobs. 

"I'm here, Raps," Cassandra whispered, rubbing comforting circles on her back as she placed a soft kiss on top of Rapunzel's head. 

"I'm here."

Whew! That was an emotional rollercoaster. Next chapter will take base on figuring out how the item got there and what creature destroyed the area. I was gonna add it in this chapter, but it didn't feel like it fitted. That last sentence seemed like a good closing ending to this chapter. No, the title is not a reference to Encanto. (Or maybe it is 0.0). Hope you enjoy it!