Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction / Big O Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Digimon Fan Fiction / Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ ANIME DEATHMATCH!!! ❯ Serena VS Rini ( Chapter 4 )

Starcatcher: Hello everyone and welcome to Anime Deathmatch(echo)!!! As you all know, I'm the host!

Vulpes: And of course you all know me! I'm Vulpes, the co-host! And for today's show, we have Serena VS Rini! That's right! It's mother against daughter from the future!

Blade: Uh…question? Why should we do this if we don't even CARE?!

Vulpes: Because our producer/only sponsor can fire us if we don't.

Blade: Uh…I guess that's a good reason!

Vulpes: (Pats him on the head) Good boy!

Blade: (Getting angry) Please remove your filthy hand from my head!

Vulpes: (Pulls her hand back) Meanie…

Starcatcher: Oh brother…

Sparky: HIYA!!!

Starcatcher: Go…AWAY!!!

Sparky: Make me!

Starcatcher: THAT'S IT! TODAY YOU DIE!!! (Strangles Sparky)

Sparky: (Being strangled) Ugh…can't…breathe…need air…

Kat: (From the arena) STARCATCHER! Stop trying to kill your brother and START THE FIGHT!!!

Starcatcher: *Sigh* Fine…(lets go of Sparky)

Sparky: (Falls to ground unconscious) *THUMP!!!*

Vulpes: Is he okay?

Blade: (Poke him) He's not moving…

Andy: OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!! THE RETARD KILLED HER OWN BROTHER!!!

Starcatcher: I did not! He's just fine! See? (Nudges him with her foot, but he doesn't move) Uh oh…(pushes him out of sight with her foot, but his leg can still be seen. She then whistles innocently and acts as though nothing happened)

Andy: (Runs around in circles) SHEKILLEDHIMSHEKILLEDHIMSHEKILLEDHIM!!! (Runs into a wall and falls unconscious)

(Brief moment of silence as everyone watches his body to see if he moves. He doesn't and they all cheer.)

Vulpes: Now that THAT'S over with, lets get back to the show. As we already told you, the fight will be between Serena and Rini.

Kat: Each are fighting for the right to hog Darien to herself.

Blade: (Gag)

Starcatcher: Though why anyone would want to fight for Darien, we'll never know.

Kat: Speaking of which, we might as well warn all of you out there now that none of us here like Darien.

Vulpes: So don't be surprised if most of our Sailor Moon stories include a lot of Darien-bashing since nobody here really likes him.

Andy: (Gets up) I like him!

(Everyone just stares blankly at him for a moment.)

Blade: Somehow, I already knew that…(shudder) I couldn't imagine how I was able to figure that out on my own though…

Kat: Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we hate Darien almost as much as we hate Andy?

Vulpes: Now that I think about it…they sort of look alike…

Starcatcher: That doesn't surprise me at all…well, lets start the fight, shall we?

(In the arena…)

Andy: Ooooooh! Legs!

Serena: Pervert! (Slaps him)

Andy: HEY! (Notices glares) Uh…okay…START!!!

Rini: MOON CRYSTAL POWER!!! (Transforms)

Serena: SILVER MOON CRYSTAL POWER!!! (Transforms)

Rini: Take THIS! PINK SUGAR HEART ATTACK!!! (Little pink hearts fly towards Serena)

Serena: RAINBOW MOON HEART ACHE!!! (Fires a gigantic heart that shatters the mini-hearts and hits Rini, knocking her to the side of the ring.)

Vulpes: How are they able to use their old attacks like that?

Blade: I dunno…this whole fight is screwed up if you ask me!

Starcatcher: Nobody DID ask you!

Serena: MOON…GORGEOUS…

Rini: MOON…GORGEOUS…

Both: MEDITATION!!! (Fire beams of light at each other, both striving to over-power the other. Then suddenly, both girls simultaneously stop their attacks.)

Vulpes: Hold it! Both fighters have stopped fighting!

Kat: What's the deal?

Blade: Yeah! Why aren't they pulverizing each other?

Starcatcer: It looks like they're both looking at something in the audience…*GASP!* I don't believe it! (Pause) Well actually, I do.

Blade: What?

Kat: There's Darien in the audience!

Blade: So?

Vulpes: Ooooh! There's a girl with him!

Kat: She could be his sister, but considering the way he's making out with her, I highly doubt it.

Vulpes: Do you think Serena and Rini noticed?

Blade: From the way both girls stopped fighting each other and are making their way to where he is and the fact that they both seem to be extremely pissed off…most likely.

(In the audience…)

Darien: (Continues making out with girl, oblivious to the fact that Serena and Rini are coming towards him, clearly showing his death in their eyes.)

Girl: (Notices the two and stops kissing Darien) Uh…hi!

(Back in the announcer's box…)

Kat: Well…this is a new low.

Blade: What? What's a new low?

Kat: Look at the girl Darien is with…look familiar?

Blade: (Looks) Hmm…I don't recognize her…

Kat: It's Marin…the girl that Darien is making out with is the teenage version of Marin from DBZ!!!

Vulpes: OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!!

Blade: The horror…THE HORROR!!!

(Back to the audience…)

Serena & Rini: (Clear their throats to get his attention)

Darien: (Finally notices them) Oh…uh…hi girls!

Serena & Rini: (In sing-song) Oh DDDDDDAAAAARRRRRRIIIIIIIIEEEEEENNNN!!! We'd like to have a WOOOOORRRRRRDDDDDD with YYYYOOOOUUUU!!!

Darien: (Nervously) Heh heh…uh…what's going on?

Serena & Rini: (Start cracking their knuckles)

Darien: Uh-oh!

(From the announcer's box)

Kat: You'd better say uh-oh!

Vulpes: You two-timing jerk!

Starcatcher: KNOCK THE SHIT OUT OF THE STUPID JACKASS!!!

Everyone: (Stares at Starcatcher, shocked) *GASP!*

Starcatcher: (Notices everyone staring) What? …WHAT?! The fight has already started so we can cuss!

Everyone: Oooh…(moment of silence, then all at once they start yelling) KILL HIM!!!

(In the audience…)

Haruka: DIE YOU FUCKIN BASTARD!!! DIE!!!

Michiru: HARUKA! How many times do I have to tell you not to cuss in front of Hotaru?!

Haruka: Sorry…

Michiru: You're just lucky she doesn't pick up any of your bad habits!

Hotaru: (Jumping up and down on her seat and screaming at the top of her lungs) KICK HIS ASS, SERENITY-HIME!!!

Michiru: (Stares in shock)

Setsuna: (Jaw falls to the ground…literally!)

Hotaru: BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THE BITCH, RINI!!!

Quatra: (Sweat drop) Little girls shouldn't be saying things like that…

Wufei: (Faints) *THUMP!*

Duo: (Shocked) Wu-man fainted!

Michiru: (Slowly, very slowly turns to glare at Haruka.)

Hotaru: I HOPE YOU GO TO HELL YOU DAMN A-

Haruka: (Covers her mouth and pulls her back into her seat) Uh…heh heh heh…

Michiru: (Looking scary) HHHHHAAAAARRRRRUUUUUKKKKKAAAAA!!!

(Up in the announcer's box)

Blade: I don't know who's going to have it worse…Darien or Haruka…

(They all look at each other and there is a brief moment of silence as they think.)

Everyone: (At the same time) Darien!

(Down in the audience…)

Serena: You're going to pay…(Pulls out some rope)

Rini: Dearly…(Pulls out some more rope)

Darien: *GULP!*

(Both girls drag him to the ring where many torture devices mysteriously appeared out of nowhere…)

Vulpes: Now just how in the world did all those strange torture devices end up in the ring?

Blade: (Whistles innocently and twiddles thumbs)

Starcatcher: (Smiles evilly) Oooooh! This should be good!

Blade: What can I say? Torture is my specialty!

Vulpes: But how do you know if they work or not?

Blade: (To Starcatcher) Do you think we should tell her that we tested them on all those guys she fell in love with?

(Pause.)

Both: Nah…

(In the arena…)

Serena: Let the torture begin!

Everyone: YAY!

Kat: HOLD IT! NO TORTURE DEVICES ARE ALLOWED IN THIS FIGHT!

Everyone: BOO!

(Torture devices mysteriously fade away.)

Serena: Well…it looks like we'll just have to do this the old-fashioned way!

Rini: (Grinning evilly) Too bad…

Darien: HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP MMMMMEEEEEEE!!!

(So Serena and Rini start beating the crap out of Darien with many punches and kicks.)

Everyone: KILL HIM!!!

Serena: (Stops and looks up at the announcer's box) Isn't killing someone illegal?

(Everyone looks at Starcatcher.)

Starcatcher: Uh…(Notices Sparky's leg is visible and nudges it off screen) Does it matter?

Serena: I guess not.

(Serena and Rini both pull out their kaleidoscopes.)

Serena and Rini: MOON…GORGEOUS…

Darien: (In a small voice) Mommy!

Serena and Rini: MEDITATION!!! (You know what happens…)

Serena: YES!!!

Rini: That'll teach him…(stops and grabs her head) I don't feel so good…(head explodes)

Serena: NOOOOOO!!! OH, POOR RINI!!! (Pause) What am I saying?! WOO-HOO!!!!

Kat: Whoa…talk about killing two birds with one stone!

Blade: I guess I was wrong about earlier…this fight was pretty cool!

Vulpes: It's just too bad that we'll never get to have Rini or Darien fight ever again.

Starcatcher: Don't worry, they're just like Andy…they keep coming back…again…and again…and again…

Vulpes: It never ends, does it?

Starcatcher: Nope.

Andy: (From the ring) SHUT UP YOU RETARD!!! (Just then, a laser beam is fired through his heart) Oh…the life I live is sad…(Dies)

Vulpes: OH MY GOD! ANDY'S DEAD!

Starcatcher: WOO-HOO!!!

Vulpes: You don't like him very much, do you?

Starcatcher: No…but I can't help but wonder how that happened…

Melvin: (Hums and twiddles thumbs)

Everyone: (Shocked) MELVIN!!!

Melvin: It slipped!

Kat: Oh well…at least he's dead…

Blade: Though I can't believe that MELVIN was the one to do it…

(Just then, the police bust in.)

Policeguy #1: Starcatcher, you are under arrest for killing your brother!

Policeguy #2: Put your hands in the air!

Starcatcher: How did they find out?! (Everyone looks at Andy's body) Oh…

Sparky: (Gets up off the floor and stretches) *YAWN* That was a nice nap…(receives stares) What?

Policeguy #2: Look! He's alive after all.

Policeguy #1: Well, then there's no reason for us to be here. (All cops leave.)

Vulpes: (Sweat drop) Uh…I guess that wraps up our show…come see the next episode! Believe me…you won't want to miss it…

Blade: So you had better send in reviews!

Starcatcher: Well…see you next time on…ANIME DEATHMATCH (echo)…