Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction / Big O Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Digimon Fan Fiction / Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ ANIME DEATHMATCH!!! ❯ Goku VS Superman ( Chapter 8 )

Starcatcher: Hey everyone! It's time for ANIME DEATHMATCH (echo)!!! I'm Star-

Vulpes: (From outside) AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! SOMEONE HEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPP MMMMMEEEEEEEE!!!

Kat: What the…?

Starcatcher: Vulpes?

Melvin: (All heroic-like) NOO!!! DON'T WORRY MY LOVE! I'LL SAVE YOU!!! (Runs to the door)

Vulpes: (Throws open the door and runs over Melvin, not noticing him) SAVE ME!!! (Runs and hides behind Starcatcher, who is sitting in her chair)

Blade: From what?

(Footsteps are heard right outside the door.)

Vulpes: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! IT'S COMING!!!

(The door is thrown open to reveal…)

Kat: A FURBY!?!

Blade: (To Vulpes) You got us all worked up over a FURBY!?!

Vulpes: NOOOOOOO! KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME!!!

Starcatcher: Oh brother…

Sparky: (Pops up out of nowhere) Yes? (Notices the Furby) Hey, cool! A Furby!

Furby: Me hungry!

Audience: Aww…

Kat: What's the big deal?

Blade: Yeah? It's not that scary.

Vulpes: (Cowers behind Starcatcher)

Sparky: (Puts his finger in the Furby's mouth in order to feed it) See? It's completely harmless!

(A.N.: I'm sure you can guess what's going to happen next…)

Furby: YUM! (Bites Sparky's finger)

Sparky: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (Tries to shake the Furby off his index finger in a comical manner)

Kat: (Stares eyes-wide) Whoa…I didn't know a Furby could do that!

Vulpes: That's not a Furby! That's Android 23, sent by Dr. Fakenstein, the evil twin brother of Dr. Jero, to kill us!!!

Kat: He's Dr. Jero's evil twin brother?

Blade: And I thought things were bad enough with just Dr. Jero, and now we have to deal with his twin brother!?!

Kat: Correction…EVIL twin brother!

Blade: I didn't know they could come with more evilness than Dr. Jero.

Vulpes: Dr. Jero isn't evil…he's just mad! You know, a mad scientist!

Dr. Jero: (From the audience) IT'S ANGRY! ANGRY SCIENTIST!!!

Vulpes: Riiiiigggggghhhhhhtttttt…but why would Dr. Fakenstein want to kill us?

Blade: Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we were the ones who stopped his evil plans to take over our school countless times?

Vulpes: Oh yeah! I remember that…(the screen goes all wavy)

Some Random Guy: (Runs across the screen, screaming) AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! THE SCREEN'S GOING ALL WAVY! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Kat: You moron! It just means that there's going to be a flashback!

Some Random Guy: Ooooh…(Runs across the screen, screaming) AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! FLASHBACK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (Runs into the wall)

Vulpes: (Stares) Uh…anyways…where was I? (The beginning process of the flashback continues)

Blade: HOLD IT! Now isn't really the time for a flashback!

Vulpes: (The screen returns to normal) Aaw…

Starcatcher: Don't worry…we'll show them what happens in a side story!

Vulpes: (Happy) YAY!

Kat: Uh…guys? (Points at Sparky, who is STILL trying to get the Furby off his finger) Shouldn't we do something about him?

Starcatcher: (Shrugs and pulls out a tub of popcorn, grabs a handful and chows down)

Vulpes: (Stares)

Blade: (Stares)

Kat: (Stares) And I though I was the only one who would gain amusement watching an un-liked sibling in pain…

Blade: (Stares and grabs a handful of popcorn)

(Well…this continues for a few minutes until a shot is heard and the evil Furby/Android 23 falls to the ground with a bullet lodged in its light sensor.)

Sparky: (Breathes heavily) Thank goodness…

Kat: Now how did that happen?

(Hero appears in the doorway, holding a gun.)

Kat and Vulpes: (Hearts appear in their eyes)

Blade: (Pouts) I wanted to kill it!

Starcatcher: (Nervous) Uh…hi Hero…to what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?

Hero: (Aims gun at Starcatcher's forehead) Omae o korosu!

Vulpes: What? What did he say?

Blade: Omae o korosu is Japanese for I will kill you.

Kat: Why would you want to kill her?

Hero: She killed me in the Videl VS Relena fight!

Starcatcher: No I didn't! Don't you even remember what happened? (The screen goes wavy again…)

(FLASHBACK!)

Hero: DDDDDDIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!! (Stomps on Relena)

Duo: I don't know whether I should be enjoying this or fearing for my life…

Other G-boys: (Nod)

Hero: (Stops stomping on Relena and jumps out of Gundam, landing in the arena) Mission…completed…

Relena: (Turns out to be alive) Oh Hero! You wouldn't kill me!

(Announcer's box…)

Blade: She's just like Andy!

Sparky: She just keeps coming and coming and coming and-

Starcatcher: I think everyone gets the point!

Vulpes: I wonder if she's related to Andy somehow…

(All eyes fall to Andy.)

(Arena…)

Relena: (Hearts appear in her eyes) Hero, I knew you loved me!

Hero: Mission…failed?

Relena: Oh HERO! (Runs towards him) I love you too!

Hero: (Gets psycho look) Mission…FAILED?!

Duo: (Scared) Uh…Hero?

Serena: (Backs away) Is he okay?

Everyone: (Stares and backs away)

Relena: (Glomps Hero)

Hero: MISSION FFFFFFAAAAAIIIIILLLLLEEEEEDDDDD?!! (Head explodes)

Relena: (Gets blasted to smithereens by the explosion)

Everyone: (Stares)

(END FLASHBACK)

Starcatcher: See? I didn't have a thing to do with it!

Vulpes: But there was that strange part where you told us all what was going to happen to him…(Screen becomes fuzzy)

(FLASHBACK)

Blade: How do you think he'll kill her?

Kat: He'll probably shoot her.

Blade: Nah, too obvious. I bet he'll poison her.

Vulpes: I bet $10 that he'll squish her like a bug using his Gundam!

Kat and Blade: YOU'RE ON!

Starcatcher: You guys bet too much…

Blade: You're just saying that because you know that you'll lose!

Kat and Vulpes: YEAH!

Starcatcher: Fine then, I bet that he'll fail, causing his head to explode at which time, Relena will be glomping him and will be blown to smithereens!

Blade: That was…oddly specific…

(END FLASHBACK)

Vulpes: Then remember what happened after both Hero and Relena died?

(FLASHBACK)

(In the announcer's box…)

Starcatcher: (Not surprised at all) Hey, what do you know…I was right…now isn't that funny? Hahaha… (Pause) Now I believe that the three of you owe me $10.

Kat: Aww man!

Sparky: How did she know?

Vulpes: She's the author…(mysteriously) she knows everything…

Blade: (Shakes head) I should have already seen this coming…

(END FLASHBACK)

Vulpes: See?

Kat: That is true. She knew it was going to happen.

Blade: Yeah. Even if she didn't kill him, she did make it happen because she's the author.

Starcatcher: (Glares) Thanks a LOT!

Hero: (Points the gun at her head) You'll pay!

Kat: (Stands between them) You can't kill her!

Vulpes: (Stands next to Kat) Yeah! She's the host AND our friend!

Blade: (Also stands next to Kat) And besides…I'M going to be the one to kill her!

Sparky: (Stands next to Blade) If I don't beat you to it!

Hero: (Death glare) Move or I'll shoot you!

(The reaction was instantaneous. Not only did they step aside, they pushed Starcatcher right into the line of fire.)

Vulpes: Oh well…we tried!

Kat: We'll miss you!

Blade: A little…

Sparky: Don't worry; I'll take good care of the show…as the host!

Starcatcher: (Sweat drop) Some friends…(Turns to Hero) Oh, come on, Hero! You wouldn't want to kill me now would you?

Hero: Hn. (Takes the safety off)

Starcatcher: Eep!

(But before Hero can pull the trigger …)

Mysterious guy hidden in the shadows: STOP! LET HER GO!

Hero: NEVER! SHE'LL PAY FOR KILLING ME!

Guy: I warned you…(pushes a button, opening a steel door)

Relena: (Comes out of the steel door) HHHHHHEEEEEEERRRRRRROOOOOOO!!!

Hero: NO!

Relena: (Glomps Hero) OH HERO!!!

Everyone: (Looks at Hero in pity)

Starcatcher: As much as I like the idea of getting away alive, I don't think Hero deserves such punishment. (The Masamune appears in her hands)

Sephiroth: (Notices that his Masamune is gone) HEY!

Starcatcher: (Chops Relena's head off) There we go! (Throws away Masamune)

Darien: (His hand gets chopped off by the Masamune) AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! MY HAND! MY HAND!

Sephiroth: THAT'S MINE! (Grabs Masamune and plunges it through Darien's heart)

Darien: Urg…(Dies)

Guy: (Stares)

Hero: …hn…

Duo: (Pops up out of nowhere) Translation: THANK YOU GOD!

Starcatcher: Is he still going to try to kill me?

Hero: Hn.

Duo: Well…you did save him from Relena, so no.

Sparky: DARN!

Starcatcher: Well…since I'm such a nice person, why don't you stay at the show for free? Food and drinks included!

Hero: Hn.

Duo: COOL!

Starcatcher: The offer was to Hero, you moron! (Hero is seen smirking as Duo pouts) Just as long as he doesn't try to kill me! So do we have a deal?

Hero: Hn. (Nods and leaves, Duo following him, pouting)

Starcatcher: (To Guy) Thanks for saving me…but…who are you?

Guy: (Steps forth from shadows)

Vulpes: It's RidgerWolf! Ridge for short! He's a friend of mine!

Blade: (Rolls eyes) As if we couldn't tell…the `wolf' part was a dead giveaway!

Starcatcher: (To Ridge) Well, thanks for saving me. (Glares at the others) And you guys are in BIG trouble!

Vulpes and Kat: (Gulp!)

Sparky: RRRRRUUUUUNNNNN AAAAAWWWWWAAAAAYYYYY!!! (Leaves)

Blade: Oh PUH-LEASE! Just what can YOU do that could possibly frighten me?

Starcatcher: (Calmly) Oh…nothing much…just send you back to Animewood Squares!

Blade: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Starcatcher: Even the mighty Broli cowers at the thought of going back to that horrid show!

Everyone: BROLI!?!

Ridge: Who?

Blade: You know, Broli! The first original Super Saiya-jin from DBZ?

Ridge: (Shakes head)

Blade: The one who almost destroyed the entire world!?!

Vulpes: Technically, EVERY bad guy almost destroys the entire world…

Ridge: (Continues shaking head)

Vegita: BROLI! I THOUGHT WE KILLED YOU!

Blade: But you didn't! I'm still alive! I'm INVINCIBLE!!! MWAHAHAHAHAA!!!

Starcatcher: Both of you shut up so we can start the long-awaited fight!

Blade and Vegita: BE QUIET WOMAN! (Continue arguing)

Starcatcher: Keep it up and I'll trap you BOTH in a different dimension with BARNEY and the TELETUBBIES!

Blade and Vegita: (Immediately shut up)

Starcatcher: That's better!

Ridge: Wow! It's amazing how she can control super-powerful, egotistical, women-hating men like that!

Blade and Vegita: HEY!

Vulpes: ANYWAY, today's show is the long-awaited Goku VS Superman!

(Audience cheers.)

Kat: I just noticed something…

Vulpes: What's that? Is it the fact that the entire audience is mainly made up of Goku's and Superman's enemies?

Audience mainly mad up of bad guys: YAY!

Blade: Cool! On one side of the audience is Superman's enemies cheering Goku on, and on the other side is Goku's enemies cheering for Superman!

Ridge: Why's that?

Blade: Probably because Superman's enemies want him dead, and the same goes for Goku's enemies, so of course they'd be cheering for the other guy!

Ridge: Oh…

Kat: No! Besides that…am I the only one who noticed that Andy hasn't said a word since the show began?

Blade: (Thinks for a moment) She's right. I wonder why that is?

(Everyone looks to the arena…)

Andy: (To Superman) And your outfit STINKS YOU RETARD! WHAT TYPE OF BRAIN-DEAD RETARD WOULD WEAR SUCH A RETARDED OUTFIT!?!

Blade: Wow. He actually knows some big words…I'm impressed…

Superman: HEY! YOU'VE BEEN MAKIN FUN OF ME SINCE THE MINUTE THE SHOW STARTED SO WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!

Goku: Well…he does have a point. What's with the leotard?

Superman: SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!

Ridge: (Stares) Are things always like this?

Vulpes: Yup!

Starcatcher: Uh…just start the fight already!

Andy: Ready…GO!

Superman: (Throws an uppercut and hits Andy's head)

Starcatcher: Well…considering how tiny his brain is, there's no way that hitting him in the head can make him any worse…unfortunately…

Andy: (To Superman) HEY YOU RETARD! (Points at Goku) YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HIT HIM NOT ME!

Superman: Well I just wanted to pay you back for insulting me!

Ridge: Well…he did deserve it!

Goku: Are we going to be fighting anytime TODAY!?!

Superman: Sorry! (Punches Goku)

Goku: (Punches Superman)

(They continue a drawn out exchanges of hits eventually resulting in them punching each other simultaneously.)

Goku: (Has a small bruise on his cheek) That's gonna leave a mark.

Superman: (Has a huge indent of Goku's fist on his cheek) Oow!

(Meanwhile, in the audience…)

Lex Luthor: (Holding a piece of Kryptonite) When I throw this piece of Kryptonite out into the arena, Superman will be weakened, allowing the other guy to kill him easily! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAA-

Lex's Assistant: Maybe you should just throw the thing already…

Luthor: Fine! (Throws Kryptonite into the arena)

Superman: That's Kryptonite! I…can feel my powers…weakening!

Luthor: DIE SUPERMAN! DIE!!!

Goku: HEY! That's cheating! (Picks up Kryptonite and throws it at Luthor, leaving a hole through his head)

Luthor: Urg…(Falls over dead)

Andy: NOOO! UUUNNNCCCLLLEEE LLLUUUTTTHHHOOORRR!!!

Everyone: (Stares)

Kat: They're RELATED!?!

Blade: That was highly disturbing…

Ridge: Well now I've seen everything!

Superman: (Gets up) Thank you Goku!

Goku: Don't mention it. This fight would have been too easy otherwise.

Superman: Now I will use my heat vision! (Fires heat rays at Goku)

Goku: (Steps aside and the heat rays miss him) Miss me!

Superman: (Astonished) How did he know to dodge my heat vision?

Goku: (Stares) Uh…it's pretty obvious when you tell me what you're going to do.

Superman: STUPID WRITERS! THEY FORCED ME TO KEEP SAYING WHAT I'M GOING TO DO BEFORE I DO IT AND NOW IT'S A HABIT! @)$^&$!!!

Ridge: What happened? What's with the beeping noise?

Starcatcher: Uh…due to the content of what Superman was saying, the censors edited it out…

Some Random Guy: (Comes running across the screen, screaming) AAAAAAAAAH!!! CENSORS!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (Leaves)

Andy: (Stares) Who was THAT retard!?!

Everyone: (Stares and shrugs)

Starcatcher: Vulpes! One of your friends escaped from the Looney Bin!!!

Vulpes: (Looks around) Huh?

Starcatcher: (Slaps forehead) Oi!

(Back at the fight…)

Superman: Maybe my ice breath will stop him! (Uses ice breath against Goku)

Goku: (Steps to the side, dodging the attack) You did it again!

Superman: JUST SHUT UP! (Throws a punch at Goku)

Goku: (Grabs Superman's fist and breaks his hand)

Superman: AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! THE PAIN! THE PAIN!

Goku: (Stares) Uh…(Looks up to the announcer's box) What should I do?

Blade: Put the poor, badly dressed loser out of his misery!

Goku: Okay! KA…ME…HA…ME…

Superman: There's no way I can dodge his next attack! I'M DOOOOOOMED!!!

Goku: HAAAAA!!! (Fires Kamehameha wave at Superman)

Superman: NOOOOO! (Vaporizes)

Starcatcher: GOKU WINS!!!

Superman's enemies: YAY!

Goku's enemies: BOO!

Lois Lane: (Walks into the arena) Wow! You're pretty strong! How about you come to my place later?

Goku: (Looks at her like she's a nut case…which she is) Who are you?

Vulpes: I always knew that Lois was a slut!

Ridge: (Stares)

ChiChi: (Stomps to the arena) GOKU! HOW DARE YOU! YOU'RE A MARRIED MAN!

Vulpes: But…didn't you cheat on him with Hercule?

Ridge: When did that happen!?!

Vulpes: It was revealed during the Videl VS Relena fight!

ChiChi: (To Goku, completely ignoring Vulpes) SHAME ON YOU! (Turns to Lois) AND YOU KEEP AWAY FROM MY GOKU YOU BITCH!

Lois: HEY! AT LEAST I'M NOT AN OLD MAID WHO HAS NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN FUCK RICH GUYS!!!

Everyone: Oooooo!

ChiChi: YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT! (Leaps on Lois and starts clawing her)

Lois: (Screams) OW! OW! OW! I broke a nail…OW! OW! OWIE!!!

Goku: (Confused look) Uh…I'm confused…

Yamcha: (Sitting in the audience next to Tien) Glad I'm not married!

Tien: You can say that again!

ChiChi: (Gets up, blood splattered on her clothes) Come on, Goku! We're leaving!

Goku: But what about her? (Points at Lois…or at least what's left of her)

Goten: (Appears next to Goku) Mommy? Why is that lady on the ground?

ChiChi: Uh…she's sleeping.

Goku: She's not sleeping! YOU KILLED HER!

Goten: WHAAAAAAT!?! Mommy's a murderer!?!

ChiChi: Way to go, Goku! (Just then, two policemen drag her away, kicking and screaming)

Goku: Goten, are you okay?

Goten: I'm going to need some serious therapy! (They leave)

Vulpes: (As they're leaving) HEY! I'm a-

Kat: (Covers Vulpes's mouth) I don't think that's such a good idea…

Blade: At least that's over…

Ridge: (Nods) And things can't get any freakier…

Vegita: WAIT A MINUTE BROLI! YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL I SHOW YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL WHO'S STRONGER!!!

Blade: *SIGH* Fine…but you know I'll win! (Goes to the arena)

Vegita: I'M STRONGER! (Runs to the arena)

Starcatcher: Guys! We don't have time for this!

Blade and Vegita: SHUT UP WOMAN! (Start fighting)

Starcatcher: … (Glares)

Vulpes: Uh…Starcatcher?

Starcatcher: … (Glares)

Kat: Hellooo? Anyone in there?

Starcatcher: (Continues glaring)

Ridge: Are you okay?

Starcatcher: (An evil smile forms on her face)

Kat and Vulpes: Wu-oh!

Ridge: Huh?

Starcatcher: (Pushes a button, causing Blade and Vegita to disappear) Heh heh heh!

Vulpes: Where did they go?

Kat: I think I know…

(Meanwhile, Blade and Vegita have suddenly appeared in a strange place.)

Vegita: WHERE THE HELL ARE WE!?!

Blade: I have no idea…

(Just then, some figures approach them. They come into view revealing themselves to be…)

Barney #5: Look! We have some new friends!

Green Teletubbie: They look unhappy…

Barney #1: I know! Lets sing them a song!

Blade and Vegita: NOOO!!! (Both shoot ki blasts, hitting them)

(Back at the show…)

Starcatcher: (Evilly) AHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

Kat: Well…she DID warn them…

Ridge: (Freaked out) This is getting too weird!

Andy: NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TO ME!?! YOU RETARD! NOTHING HAPPENED TO ME! NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH!

(Just then, a portal opens and Vegita and Blade come out, their clothes tattered and torn. Everyone looks at Starcatcher.)

Starcatcher: Oh come on! You didn't REALLY think I'd just leave them there, did ya?

Everyone: (Nods)

Starcatcher: (Sweat drop) I'm not THAT mean!

(A Barney comes out of the portal, which is still open. After he comes through, the portal closes.)

Evil Barney: LOOK! MORE FRIENDS TO HAVE FUN WITH!

Andy: (Too busy singing, dancing, and making fun of everyone to notice Evil Barney)

Evil Barney: (Grabs Andy and hugs him, causing both of them to explode)

Kat: So THAT'S why they call it the hug of death!

Blade: (To Vegita) We'll…just find out who's stronger later…

Vegita: (Tired and freaked out) Yeah…

Starcatcher: That's a relief! Now everything has ended happily!

Ridge: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!?! PEOPLE ARE DEAD!!!

Vulpes: But at least they weren't anyone who really mattered!

Ridge: JUST WHAT TYPE OF SCREWED UP SHOW IS THIS!?!

Kat: This is ANIME DEATHMATCH! It's supposed to be screwed up!

Ridge: …I give up! (Leaves)

Starcatcher: Oh well! Come back next time to see a new episode of ANIME DEATHMATCH(echo)!!! The next fight will be Mirai Trunks against Mina! You won't want to miss it!

Blade: But you will…

Everyone: UNLESS YOU SEND IN REVIEWS!!!

Kat: Well…I'm hungry! Let's go eat!

Vulpes: (Eyes the cute guys in the audience) Can I bring a date?

All the cute guys in the audience: (Run)

Vulpes: HEY! (Chases them)

Blade: Uh…should we stop her?

Kat: Nah. She'll lose interest in them…eventually…

Starcatcher: Lets go! (They leave)

(A few hours later, after everyone left…)

Melvin: (Wakes up) Huh? Hey, anyone here? (Pause) WHERE IS EVERYONE!?!

THE END…