Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction / Big O Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Digimon Fan Fiction / Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ ANIME DEATHMATCH!!! ❯ Tifa VS Aeris ( Chapter 10 )

Starcatcher: Sorry this is out so late, I've been working on a bunch of other stories that I'm sure you'll like! One of which is called "Whodunit?" You see, Darien is killed and a third-rate detective who has to solve the mystery. It has all your favorite characters and your least favorite too! But the least favorite are the ones who end up dying or getting bashed on! Be sure to check it out…NOW ON WITH THE SHOW!!!

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Starcatcher: Hey everyone! It's time for ANIME DEATHMATCH(echo)!!! I'm your host!

Vulpes: I'm your co-host!

Sparky: And I'm the evil brother of Starcatcher, who will now take over the show by getting rid of her!

Andy: (Chanting) DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

Kat: Yeah right! As if that'd ever happen!

Blade: Why?

Sparky: Because I can! (Does a terrible imitation of the Kefka laugh) AHAHAHAHAA!

Some Random Guy: AAAAAAAAH!!! A LOUSY IMITATION OF THE KEFKA LAUGH! AAAAAAAAAH!!!

Sparky: Now to get rid of Starcatcher! (Shoots a blast at her, causing her to fly through a portal and into another dimension)

Andy: YAY!!!

Ridge: (Stares) Can he do that?

Everyone: (Shrugs)

Sparky: Now I will take over as the host!

Vulpes: (Looks at him with hearts in her eyes) Can I be your co-host?

Sparky: Uh…sure. (Sits in Starcatcher's chair) Comfy! ^-^

Ridge: You can't do this! (Instantly finds himself tied to a chair) Uh…okay…a little help here?

Blade: (Crosses his arms and glares at Sparky) And just what makes you think we're just going to let you get away with this?

Kat: (Also glares) YEAH!

Sparky: (Hands Kat and Blade each a bag of money)

Blade: Oh…go ahead then!

Kat: Have fun!

Ridge: (Sweat drops) I don't believe this!

Sparky: (Smiles evilly) Bribes are a host's best friend!

Vulpes: So are reviews! Speaking of which, we got one from Zpan Sven, where something really cool happens!

Sparky: (Checks the computer) Lets see what happened with Zpan Sven!

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Zpan Sven: FOUR!!! *whacks #1 Bitch Shorty with a golf club, sending her flying through the stratosphere until she lands on Saturn, where she meets the Crown Prince of Saturn, the male Senshi of Death and Destruction, elder brother of Hotura, Shino Kafir*

Kafir: Insolent onna, for you flame, you will be destroyed. Feel the wrath of the planet Saturn! SATURN DEATH DRAGON ANNILATION!! *a dragon composed of black and purple energy ribbons and mortal remains flys at #1 Bitch Shorty, vaporising her* My work here is done... *looks pleased with himself before he turns to face Starcatcher, Vulpes, and the Anime Deathmatch gang* Lords and Ladies, hopefully an incident like this will never happen agian...and if it does... *he throws back his head and gives off his chillingly insane laugh for several moments before he quiets down and looks at them once more, his indigo blue eyes serious and devoid of emotion* I'll kill them, slowly and painfully...

Zpan Sven: Errr, that's nice, Kafir... Ryoken, help me get Mr. Shi-no-Senshi (soldier of Death) back under control....

Ryoken: Sure thing! *thwaps Kafir upside the head with his Time Staff, expecting the other Soldier to fall to the ground unconscious*

Kafir: *glares at Ryoken, his scythe appearing in his hands*

Ryoken: Um... opps?? *turns tail and run like Death himself is after him...and in a way, Death IS after him*

Zpan Sven: Well, at least Kafir's distracted... Hopefully, Ryoken won't be too seriously injured, he is needed to help guard the Gates of Time and Space after all...

Ja, Minna-chan! Keep writing these excellent and hilarious matches! ;)

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Vulpes: (Hearts appear in her eyes as she stares at Kafir) How brave…

Blade: (Pouts) NO FAIR! I wanted to be the one to beat her…

Sparky: Shino Kafir…Crown Prince of Saturn, the male Senshi of Death and Destruction, elder brother of Hotaru, who is adored by all our fans…

Fans: (Waving Hotaru merchandise that they stole from the gift shop into the air) YAY!

Sparky: Uh…we thank you for ridding us of the horrible, dreadful, terrible, evil, vile, un-liked-

Blade: GET ON WITH IT!

Sparky: #1 Bitch Shorty! We have placed a gigantic statue in your image in the battle arena to honor you.

(Cut to statue of Kafir standing in the middle of the battle arena.)

Audience members: (Worshiping the statue) WE ARE NOT WORTHY!!!

Hercule: What's the big deal? It's just a stupid statue!

Everyone: (Stops and glares at him)

Hercule: Uh…I saved the world?

Everyone: (Beat up Hercule) YOU WILL PAY FOR INSULTING THE GREAT AND POWERFUL KAFIR!!!

(Meanwhile, nobody noticed as Darien put a bunch of dynamite around the base of the statue.)

Darien: (To himself) They think he's so great…I'll blow up the statue! MWAHAHAA!!! (Gets back to his seat in the audience and lights the fuse) DIE STATUE! DIE!!!

Everyone: (Finishes beating up Hercule and resume worshiping)

Statue: (Blows up)

Everyone: (Stares at the statue's remains)

Darien: (Loudly enough to let everyone know he did it) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

Everyone: (Glares at Darien)

Darien: (Notices the glares) What?

Everyone: DIE!!! (Start beating up Darien)

Some Random Guy: HEY! Let's let Kafir decide his punishment!

Everyone: YEAH!!! (They trap Darien in a box and mail him to wherever Kafir is)

Melvin: I wouldn't want to be Darien right now…

Vulpes: (Holds up a sign saying "KAFIR! CALL ME!")

Blade: I wouldn't want to be Kafir right now…

Melvin: I WOULD!!!

Vulpes: Here's a question…why does everyone hate Mamoru/Darien?

Kat: Because he's a moron.

Blade: He's a wimp! Only wimps fight in tuxedos and attack their enemies with ROSES!!!

Ridge: And he keeps getting brainwashed or controlled by the bad guys almost EVERY time!

Vulpes: Oh…I always though it was because he was gay…

Everyone: (Stares, eyes wide) WHAAAAAAAAAT!?!

Blade: HE'S GAY!?!

Vulpes: Well…yeah…wasn't it obvious?

Everyone: (Continues staring and shake their heads)

Kat: If he is gay, he's a pretty sorry excuse for one…

Sparky: Uh…anyway…tonight's match is Tifa VS Aeris!

Vulpes: Over who gets Cloud!

Sparky: The Tifa VS Aeris match is in honor of Kafir, who has given us hope, freedom, and a good laugh! NOW LET THE MATCH BEGIN!!!

Audience: YAY!

Andy: Okay…GO!!!

Tifa: DIE YOU BITCH!!! (Punches Aeris)

Aeris: (Blocks) Was that supposed to hurt?

Tifa: GRR…YOU'LL PAY!!! (Throws an uppercut at Aeris)

Aeris: (Gets hit and flies to the opposite end of the ring)

Tifa: HAH! You're nothing without your staff!

Aeris: Oh yeah!?! (Punches Tifa, who flies back, but regains her balance)

Tifa: Is that the best you can do?

Aeris: I'm just getting warmed up! REPEATING FIST!!! (Punches Tifa repeatedly)

Kat: How the HELL did she learn THAT move!?!

Vulpes: No idea…

Ridge: That's one of the attacks of a monk from Final Fantasy Tactics!

Blade: Whoa…when Starcatcher said she was bringing Final Fantasy, she wasn't kidding!

Sparky: But…how could she do that?

Ridge: Maybe if SOMEONE hadn't of blasted her to another dimension, she could tell us!

Sparky: SHUT UP!!! (Gags Ridge)

Ridge: MMMMMPPPPPHHHHH!!!!!

Tifa: YOU WON'T BEAT ME!!! (Charges at Aeris)

Aeris: WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT!!!

Kat: Hey! Isn't that Cloud running towards the arena?

Vulpes: (Hearts appear in her eyes) How cute…

Everyone: (Stares and sweat drops)

Cloud: I don't believe this…two girls are fighting over me…I feel so loved!

Aeris and Tifa: (Throw a barrage of punches at each other)

Andy: (Looking at Tifa and Aeris's legs) Sexy…

Tifa and Aeris: (Punch Andy) PERVERT!

Ridge: MMMPH!!!

Sparky: What?

Ridge: MMMMMMMPH!!!

Sparky: What's he saying?

Kat: Maybe you could understand him better if he WASN'T gagged!

Sparky: *SIGH* Fine! (Takes gag out of Ridge's mouth) Now what is it!?!

Ridge: There's someone up on the catwalk!

Everyone: Huh? (Looks at the catwalk where a mysterious figure is standing, sword drawn)

Sparky: WHO THE HELL IS THAT!?!

Vulpes: Whoever he is…he sure is cute! ^-^

Sparky: Can't you just pick one?

Vulpes: (Glomps Sparky) Don't worry Sparky…I love you too!

Everyone: (Sweat drop)

Kat: What the hell does he think he's doing?

Ridge: I think he's going to jump…

Blade: OOOH!!! Suicide…(Pulls out popcorn)

Mysterious guy: (Jumps from the catwalk)

Everyone: *GASP*

Blade: Hey! That's Sephiroth!

Sparky: What's he doing?

Blade: This reminds me of that scene where he kills Aeris.

Ridge: So he's going to do it again?

Blade: Looks like it…

(So Sephiroth falls from the catwalk, just like he did in the Final Fantasy 7 game. Both fighters have stopped and are watching him. He finally lands, stabbing his sword into…)

Vulpes: OH MY GOD! HE KILLED KENNY!!!

Sparky: YOU BASTARD!!!

Kat: (Sweat drop) Uh…guys? That's Andy…

Andy: Oow!

Sparky and Vulpes: Oooh…

Blade: Andy's dead…too bad! (Smiles evilly)

Andy: I'm not dead!!!

Sephiroth: Well…now that he's gone…(Turns to Tifa and Aeris) Shall we go ladies?

Tifa and Aeris: (Each takes one of his arms and all three of them leave)

Cloud: (Outraged) WHAT!?! I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!!!

Kat: (Stares) Whoa…

Blade: I never saw that ending coming…

Cloud: THIS IS JUST FUCKED UP!!! I'M SUPPOSED TO GET THE GIRLS!!!

Vulpes: Don't worry Cloud! You still have me!

Cloud: (Runs)

Vulpes: Come back! (Runs after him)

Sparky: Oh well! I guess that's it then-

Starcatcher: (Bursts through the door) NOT SO FAST!

Everyone: *GASP* Starcatcher!

Sparky: WHAT!?! IT CAN'T BE TRUE!!!

Starcatcher: It is! I'm back, but I'm not alone! (Steps aside to reveal…)

Everyone: *GASP* Kefka!

Kefka: (Does his insane laugh) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

Starcatcher: That's right! It's Kefka from Final Fantasy 3!

Sparky: But…how?

Starcatcher: That portal you blasted me through took me there. After I met up with him, I told him about your lousy laugh!

Sparky: MY LAUGH ISN'T LOUSY!

Kefka: It's MY laugh! I won't let you get away with doing a horrible imitation of my laugh!

Sparky: (Sneers) And just what are you gonna do about it?

Kefka: I'LL KILL YOU!!! (Starts strangling Sparky)

Starcatcher: HOLD IT! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!!

Sparky: (Sighs in relief) Thank goodness…

Kefka: (Glares at Starcatcher) And just why not!?!

Starcatcher: Because…it's just not right!

Everyone: (Stares in shock over the fact that Starcatcher is actually defending Sparky)

Starcatcher: If you're going to kill him, then at least do it in the ring where everyone else can see!

Kefka: (Shrugs) Okay! (Goes to the ring)

Sparky: I WILL PREVAIL!!! (Goes to the arena also)

Vulpes: He's hot!

Starcatcher: Vulpes? When did you get back?

Vulpes: When I lost Cloud somewhere in the parking lot…

(Cue corny music.)

Blade: Uh…okay…

Kat: (Sweat drop)

Vulpes: (Hearts appear in her eyes) He's so dreamy…

Kat: Which one? Do you mean Sparky?

Starcatcher: WHAT!?!

Vulpes: Nah…

Blade: Kafir? You were practically drooling over him earlier!

Vulpes: Nope!

Ridge: Sephiroth?

Vulpes: He's with Tifa and Aeris now…

Kat: Cloud?

Vulpes: No.

Kat: Then who?

Vulpes: KEFKA!

Everyone: (Falls anime style)

Starcatcher: This is getting out of hand!

Ridge: She's even worse than Brock and Mina!

Brock and Mina: HEY!!!

Starcatcher: Uh…lets just let Kefka and Sparky fight now…

Andy: GO!

(But just before they could do anything, a meteor crashes through the roof and lands on both Kefka and Sparky, but completely misses Andy.)

Andy: YES! IT MISSED ME! IN YOUR FACE RETARD!!!

Starcatcher: DAMNIT!!!

(Just then, a door on the meteor opens, crushing Andy.)

Vulpes: OH MY GOD! ANDY'S DEAD!!!

Starcatcher: WOO-HOO!!!

Vulpes: You don't like him very much do you?

Starcatcher: No DUH!!!

Ridge: I wonder who the mysterious person inside the meteor is…?

(The mysterious person in the meteor walks out, revealing himself to be…)

Blade: Hey, cool! It's Galuf from Final Fantasy 5!

Galuf: Where am I?

Vulpes: (Hearts appear in her eyes) How cool!

Blade: Uh…Vulpes? He has a granddaughter!

Vulpes: So?

Starcatcher: *SIGH* (To Galuf) You're at the Anime Deathmatch (echo) show!

Galuf: What's with the echo?

Starcatcher: It's just supposed to make the title sound more important.

Galuf: Well…I guess I'd better be going now. I still have to save the crystals in the other world! Goodbye! (Goes back into the meteor and it flies off)

Starcatcher: Well…uh…I guess that's it for today! Be sure to tune in next time!!!

Blade: But we had better get A LOT of reviews!

Starcatcher: (Notices what's left of the statue of Kafir) Hey…why are there a bunch of oddly shaped rocks in the arena?

Everyone: (Glances at each other) Uh…

Starcatcher: Never mind! I don't want to know!