Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ Happiness and Lonelyness ❯ il ritorno della paura ( Chapter 4 )

Here we have chapter 4, I hope you like it! Like always I've to say that the troopers don't belong to me!!! Like always we have to thanking Wildefyre because without her you surely can't read it very well!

Thank you!!!

Oh and comments and review are more than welcome but please not flame!! I've enough of that gently e-mail from our friend Lady Saori…Please Lady…not more! (How much words you can create only for insulting me???)

SOLITUDINE E FELICITA'

(By Acuamaine)

Chapter 4

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Shin sat in the armchair in his room, while Shu occupied the bed next to him. The larger man was lying on his back with his eyes closed, drifting in and out of sleep. With a shake of his head, Shin sank deeper into the chair when Shu let out a long sigh. Being more empathic then the others meant that he felt and sensed virtually everything his friends felt, which usually left him tired and on rare occasions, in pain. Now was one of those times as the sorrow flowed through each one of them, leaving Shin feeling helpless to do anything about it.

What can I do? I sense their pain but I'm powerless to stop it from hurting them so much. With Shu and Ryo it's anger that flows through them, with Seiji there's despair and confusion, with Nasutei it's worry and sorrow and then there's Touma... So much fear! Oh God why Touma? How could his own father hurt him like this?

"Shin? Hello Shin?" Shu's voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked up at the larger warrior curiously for Shu was now standing in front of him waving his hand in front of his face. "Where did you go off to? You seemed a million miles away..." The sad expression in his big eyes melted Shin's heart and he found himself lunging for his friend, falling into his arms to give him a hug.

Shu responded to Shin's warm embrace by giving the smaller one a bear hug before gently lifting him up and carrying him over and setting him down on the bed. "Shin you really should rest for awhile, at least try to close off the link a bit... It's not doing your health any good by allowing yourself to feel so much at once." Shu gently prodded Shin to lie down as he stroked his auburn hair.

"Shu, I... I don't want to. I can't sleep right now! You guys need me right now; I can't just go to sleep." Shin sat up quickly, nearly knocking Shu right off of the bed. Looking at each other they began laughing at the whole thing until the ringing of the phone caused them to stop. Shin reached over and grabbed the phone that was on his bedside table.

"Moshi moshi?" He answered looking over at Shu and forcing a slight smile.

"Can I speak to Hashiba Touma?" A male voice on the other end requested. The mere sound of his voice made Shin shiver slightly, he sensed nothing but darkness from the man on phone. "Hey! Did you hear me boy? I want to speak with Touma!"

"I... Y... Yes sir. Just a minute while I have someone get him." Shin took a deep breath before looking at Shu. Covering the mouthpiece he whispered for Shu to go tell Touma that there was a phone call for him. Unsure as to why Shin looked worried, Shu shrugged his shoulders and went to get Touma. "J... Just a minute, someone is getting him now." Shin finally spoke into the phone.

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"Touma... I think... That I... That uhm I... Touma I think I'm falling in love with you...!"

Eyes locked as both men stared at one another. Touma's heart was beating so rapidly that he thought it would surely explode as he stared into violet orbs. When he went to sit up Seiji blocked his efforts by placing his hands on his shoulders.

Touma looked at Seiji only to see that once again he had put in place the mask, which kept Touma from seeing anything more in Seiji's eyes. "Theiji..." Touma tried to spit out but the thermometer was making talking nearly impossible. Turning his face away from the blond, Touma shut his eyes tightly.

"Touma, I told you NOT to speak with the thermometer in your mouth... So hush until I take it out or I won't get an accurate reading. In that case I will either have to redo it this way or get the other thermometer to take your temperature from the other end!" Seiji watched as Touma's eyes went wide and he began to shake his head. "Fine then no talking!" Seiji's voice was stern yet gentle.

"Now Touma, I want to finish healing you so relax and let me do my job." Seiji sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand gently on Touma's chest as he began to concentrate only to once again hit the stone wall that kept his power to heal from working. Opening his eyes he stared at the archer. "Touma we had a deal! You have to allow me to heal you... Please?"

Touma once again glared at Seiji as he spat out the thermometer so he could speak. "If you won't let me talk... I won't let you heal me! I'm not a child so stop treating me like one! I'm not made of glass, and I am not some life form that is of a lower class..." Touma's voice was filled with anger. He was also confused by the way Seiji was treating him... He said he loved him yet the way he acted it was hard to believe. All Seiji was doing was scolding him every chance he got... Just like my father. I couldn't do anything right for him and now I can't do anything right for Seiji... Love is not supposed to hurt Seiji! Why is that all I get? Pain and more sorrow then I know what do with... Why?

Seiji was slightly surprised at Touma's outburst at first until he realized that the archer was correct. He was treating him as though he was a fragile piece of china that could shatter at any given moment. "You're right Touma I have been treating you like a china doll and for that I apologize. Please don't hate me for it... Please? You will always be my friend and if that's all you want of me then I will accept that." Seiji lowered his head and looked at the sheets on Touma's bed. How can I make him see that all these emotions are new to me...? I don't know how to deal with them yet, and it's scaring the hell out of me.

Touma was startled by the look on Seiji's face and feared that he may have messed everything up... What have I done? What if this is Seiji's way of showing that he loves me? Did he just take that as me rejecting him? You Baka!

Sitting up quickly, much too quickly in fact for his weakened state and his low blood pressure; he felt the room beginning to spin as pain shot through his body. He hissed in agony yet stopped Seiji when the blond tried to get him to lie back down.

"Seiji? W... Where you serious when you said that you loved me?" Touma asked as he looked up at him through long blue bangs. "Please tell me the truth and don't sugar coat things just to spare my feelings. I want to know because... Well, I... I..." Touma sighed he feared saying the words just in case Seiji had not meant what he had said. Lying back down he watched and waited...

"Yes Touma! Oh God yes! I care about you... I... Oh God Touma... I..." Seiji quickly closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself down. "Touma you have to trust me on this... I was sincere when I told you that I... I am in love with you." Tears slid from Seiji's eyes to splash down onto Touma's cheek. When he looked down at the archer he was giving him a look that confused him.

Maybe my confession has him scared...Maybe he thinks that everyone who says that they love him will be like his father? Parents are suppose to love their children yet all he gave Touma was pain. Maybe he doesn't feel the same way about me? Have I ruined our friendship because of what I said? Why did I tell him...? I should have waited until he was healthy enough to hear it or I should have just kept my mouth shut!

"Seiji? Do you remember that day by the lake when I told you that I had fallen for someone...? I told you that it was a male and you questioned me about being gay..." Touma took Seiji's hand and held it tightly in his as he sat back up. "Well I don't know if gay is what I am or not considering I have only fallen in love once my whole life... I fell in love with only one person... That person is... my best friend, my confidant, and the one person I trust with my life... That person is you... I've fallen in love with you Seiji." Looking downward as his cheeks began to turn red... finally he left out a whoosh of air that he had been holding, unable to meet Seiji's stare.

What Touma said caught Seiji off guard at first and when he squeezed his hand he jumped slightly. Looking at Touma and seeing the faintest hint of a smile while stormy blue eyes peeked shyly out from under blue bangs, Seiji found his breath literally taken away. Reaching out to him, Seiji cupped Touma's chin and tilted his head upwards before leaning in to tenderly kiss lips as soft as snow.

When the kiss ended the two men looked at each other as their cheeks stained a bright pink. Touma laughed nervously but stopped when Seiji reached out to stroke his cheek, all he could do then was to melt into the warm touch.

"Oh God Tou, you are truly beautiful." Seiji leaned in until their foreheads touched as he gently coaxed Touma back down on the bed. Softly he laid a kiss to the archer's nose, which had Touma going cross-eyed. Chuckling softly at the look on Touma's face, Seiji sat up and smiled. "Do you even know how good it feels to finally say how I feel about you, to express what is in my heart?"

"Yes I can know... because my noble warrior, it is how I feel as well. I finally know what it feels like to express words of love and have them expressed back to you... Thanks." Touma couldn't help but smile brightly, surely this had to be a dream and if that were the case... no one had better wake him up! There was thing he had not considered fully though it was always in the back of his mind and that was Seiji's family... They would never accept the fact that their son had taken a male lover.

"Seiji? Do you know that...? Well that..." Touma's words seem to catch in his throat.

"Touma, if you're trying to tell me you are no longer a virgin, don't worry love. What your father did to you was sick and was not what love is... That was rape and you were the victim." Seiji stopped when he saw the blank stare Touma was giving him. "That wasn't what you were ready to say... Was it? I'm sorry... I guess I just assumed..." Seiji found himself blushing even more.

"If the truth were known Seiji, I haven't even thought of having sex with you just yet. I don't think I can right now, please try and understand... As much as I would love to, I need time... I'm sorry." Touma lowered his head feeling slightly embarrassed. When he winced from pain as he shifted on the bed, it brought both men back to what was important at the moment... everything else could wait.

"Seiji I think I'm ready for you to heal me now... Please?" He looked at Seiji who nodded and grabbed his orb off of the nightstand. Laying his hand once more on Touma he healed as much of the injuries as he could though fatigue kept him from completing the task all the way. At least Touma would be free of pain. Seiji his exhaustion knowing that Touma needed his strength at the moment and so he pushed it aside and gave his koi a warm smile.

Touma sighed and sunk lower into his bed feeling more tired then ever. Looking at Seiji he could see the fatigue clearly in violet eyes even though the swordsman was trying to hide it from him. Reaching up, Touma stroked Seiji's cheek and watched as a faint smile spread across the blonde's lips.

"Seiji? I know you're trying to be strong for my sake but if this relationship is to get off on a good footing, then we have to be honest with each other." Touma looked at him sincerely. "I know how exhausted you get whenever you use Korin to heal, so please why don't you just lie down here with me and get some rest?"

Touma prodded him and soon the blond was lowering himself down to lie next to him. Turning so that he was facing Seiji, he laid a tender kiss to sweet lips and smiled. "I think both of us could use a nap, please stay here with me and get some rest as well?" He snuggled closer as Seiji drew an arm around him and Touma laid his head on a strong shoulder.

Seiji kissed the top of blue hair as he inhaled the light scent of Touma's shampoo. "You're right we should be honest with each other. I am a little tired but not as bad as you think yet the thought of taking a nap with you is just too inviting to pass up." Seiji sighed as he held Touma close to him.

"We can grab a nap and then I'll go and bring up something for you to eat, unless you'd rather eat first?" Seiji waited for a reply and when none came he lifted his head to see that Touma had all ready drifted off to sleep. You're an angel Touma... my angel. Seiji thought as he closed his eyes and listened to Touma's soft snore that was slowly lulling him off to sleep.

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Shu knocked at the door to the bedroom not sure if it was the best thing to do but the look on Shin's face made it clear that he needed to get Touma. After a few moments and no answer, Shu became a little worried and started knocking louder at the door. "Seiji dammit! Open up NOW!" Shu was concerned that maybe Seiji was trying to prevent him from seeing Touma upset that maybe Seiji had done something to hurt his friend.

Finally the door opened and a sleepy looking Seiji stepped into the hallway. "This had better be good Shu! Touma needs his rest and frankly I could use some too! You're pounding scared the living daylights out of Touma... Do you know that? I woke up to fingers digging into my flesh, that's how scared he was!" Seiji was angry now. The loud pounding had only served to cause flashbacks that had Touma curling up tighter against him and shivering like a scared rabbit.

"When no one answered, I..."

"I had to try and calm him back down so he could go back to sleep... That was the reason I didn't answer sooner. Plus he was holding me so tightly that I couldn't get out of the bed... I had to pry his fingers off of me and reassure him that I would indeed be back." Seiji closed the door softly so the commotion would not reawaken Touma and gave Shu a cold hard stare.

"I'm sorry man, but there's someone on the phone for him." Shu replied meekly feeling really bad about frightening Touma.

"Well tell whomever it is that he's sleeping! Now if you'll excuse me..." Seiji turned to go back into the room only to have Shu block his way.

"You were supposed to look after him... NOT sleep with him!" Shu glared at him, his fists balled up tightly and he had to put them behind his back just to keep himself from striking out. "Have you managed to heal him or were you too busy with OTHER things? I think it should be up to Touma whether or not he wants to take the call... NOT you!"

"W... Who's on the phone for me?" Shu and Seiji jumped when the door opened and Touma stood there using it to support his weight. "Well? Who is it?" Touma stared at both men, waiting for an answer.

"Touma, you're supposed to stay in bed! What do you think you're doing walking around in nothing more then your boxers and a t-shirt with that fever? You'll catch a chill and just make things worse!" Seiji scolded him and the snaked an arm around his slim waist as he helped to support him.

"I... I heard Shu's voice and thought you may be in trouble so I came out here to help you." Touma looked at Shu and smiled weakly. "I asked Seiji to lay down with me... I... I was too scared to go to sleep alone. Seiji was sleeping with me but he wasn't SLEEPING with me!" Stormy blue eyes glared over at his friend.

"S... Sorry Touma." Shu answered in reply, lowering his head in shame.

"That's okay. Now I demand to know where the phone is so I can take my call! The cordless is not out here where it should be!" Touma pointed to the small table where the base of the cordless phone sat yet the phone was gone.

Shu laughed at Touma's lame attempt at being angry and reached out to pat his shoulder. "I don't know but I'll go find it. I bet either Ryo or Nasutei has it."

"Well I see we're slowly getting the stubborn Touma back!" Ryo's voice sang out as he and Byakuen walked up to them. "I have the phone in my room; I'll go get it but... It's best that you let Blondie here take care of you and get you back into bed!" Ryo was happy to see that Touma looked better then he had before, even Byakuen agreed as he rubbed up against Touma's leg.

"Could you hurry with that please? Before the caller hangs up!" Touma scratched the tiger behind the ear as he looked at Ryo.

"I'm on it now, but remember you're still in detention so to speak! So back to bed and you have only five minutes for your phone call and then we come and take the phone away! You need your rest... You don't need to be chatting away on the phone." Ryo laughed at the look Touma gave him.

While Ryo went to get the phone, Seiji and Shu helped Touma back into bed and made sure he put some pajamas on to keep him warm. When Ryo handed him the phone he held up a hand indicating the five-minute time limit and then left along with the others so that Touma could take his call in private.

Touma just shook his head and smiled as he took the call. "Moshi Moshi! Gomen for keeping you waiting but they had to find the cordless phone..."

["What do you think you're doing? Huh? I know where you live boy and now that I know why you have left me I'll be more determined to get you back!"] Touma began to shake as he listened to the man on the other end and tears slid down his face.

["I'm coming for you son... You're my toy not his and I will have you again!"]

Touma listened for a few minutes more before the anger took over and he hurled the phone up against the wall, watching it shatter and the pieces fall to the floor.

Seiji, who had been waiting out in the hallway, heard the noise and he quickly dashed back into the room to see Touma sitting up in bed, whimpering and shaking. He took no time in getting to him and wrapping two strong arms around his love... Touma's eyes were wide with fear as the tears flowed rapidly from them.

Holding Touma tightly he tried to calm the archer in order to find out what had happen though he had a fairly good idea. That phone caller had to have been his father and that made the swordsman angry!

Touma clung to Seiji as he began to realize what had occurred! The guys did leave something behind at his father's house... His journal, which was hidden under his mattress. Unless they knew where to look, they wouldn't have known about it... His father on the other hand most likely trashed his room once he discovered that he had left and found it... He knew everything now.

Fear settled into the archer as his father's final words rang in his ears...

"Come back to me... If you don't I will kill them all... Do you hear me boy? I will have some fun with this Seiji first, the one who has stolen your heart, and then I will kill him while you watch!"

end of chapter 4

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Ok, I've finish this chapter some time ago…but for read next chapter you have to tell me what you think about this one!

Flamers please go away…I've my personal flamer, so don't sue me even you!!! Oh and Lady What'syourname you can't stop me…so please stop your revenge! If some Italian have done something to you that have upset you…well I'm not That Italian!!! And if you hate me for my story…well I don't oblige you to read it!! So shut up or I may do something you can regret…like put a great personage in there dedicate to you!!!