Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ Holiday Memories and Nightmares ❯ Awakening to the Aftermath ( Chapter 6 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

A/N: We're back……

Kathrine: We would like to thank everyone for their support. It was definitely appreciated.

JC: We're almost finished with the next chapter of CftH. I know, it's amazing.

Kathrine: Now here is the chapter that yall have waited weeks for. We hope that it was worth it.

Disclaimer: Check earlier chapters.

Warnings: Angst, Bad Dreams, Dark themes, Everything else that is usual for us and we don't care if ya don't like it. Constructional criticism is accepted, but senseless flames will be retaliated against. Now is not the time to piss Kathrine off.

Holiday Memories and Nightmares

By Jennifer and Kathrine

(Edited by JC)

Chapter 6 - Awaking to the Aftermath

/ Cry for me, little demon…/

No, please let me go. It hurts…

/ Your tears are so pretty…/

Stop, please stop…

/ Such a pretty demon…/

No, STOP!

/ No one wants a bad little boy, Seiji…/

I'll be good…I will…

/ Such a liar, demon…/

No, I'll be good… Just stop…

/ You look so pretty when you're in pain…/

I'll be good… I'll be good… I'll be good… The pain wouldn't stop. He couldn't stop it. It radiated through his body and he continued to cry silently as it deepened. He could feel the hands against his skin, the burns, the stings, the fists, and the blood… It kept flowing, leaving his body in gallons and he felt himself weaken. But then came the penetration, the pain coursing through his body as if to replace the blood he lost. The more he felt leaving his body, the greater the agony became. He couldn't fight it, no matter how much he struggled.

The hands wouldn't leave, the thrusts kept going deeper, splitting him in two. He wanted to cry, but his throat hurt so much as it was. The tears were on his cheeks and he twisted and turned, trying to fight them off, trying to make them go away. It felt as if there were six hands instead of two, all hurting him, touching him and making him cringe in fear. Why was there never anyone there to save him? Why did they insist on letting him be hurt so badly?

Oh, why couldn't Touma come and save him? Why didn't he tell him the truth before this? Touma… Please help me Touma… So scared… Can't see… Too much pain… Touma, where are you? I should have told you… coward… Hurts… I'll be good, I'll be good…

And suddenly, the pairs of hands disappeared. Well, all but one. They hand held him, they didn't feel like pain. They seemed so familiar and so gentle. He could feel himself being rocked back and forth, a soothing motion that confused him. Who would do this? Who was helping him? Who had saved him and taken away the pain?

He could feel a friendly aura surrounding the hands that held him so close. It was such a familiar aura, a pretty dark blue. Touma? He couldn't believe it. Touma had come, he'd saved him from HIM. The one he loved had actually rescued him. The hands didn't leave and he actually didn't care. He felt safe with those hands holding him, protecting him from the other hands that wanted to cause him only pain.

He tried to force himself to get up, to be able to see that it was in fact Touma, who was shielding him, but it was soo difficult. He felt so tired and part of him wanted to go back to sleep. But he had to see Touma! He had to tell him before it was too late! He didn't want to lose the hands that embraced him, he had to tell Touma how he truly felt. His resolve deepened and he felt himself leaving the darkness. It wasn't able to hold him any longer. He slowly opened his eyes and squinted from the bright lights…

*****

Touma continued to hold Seiji, rocking him gently in his arms, wary of all the IVs and cords connected into the blonde. He'd been shocked to feel a surge of pain through the link and had known it was Seiji. He'd ran as fast as he could back to the room, only to bump into a nurse. She told he that Seiji had gone into a fit during a nightmare and kept crying for him.

He rushed into the room to find the blonde being held down by three male nurses and still twisting and screaming, tears running down his face and a faint whimpered word coming from his lips that sounded like it was being choked from his throat. T-Touma-ma. He called off the orderlies and climbed into the bed himself, pulling Seiji into his arms. He rocked him as he was now, whispering soothing words to him in hopes of calming him down. To his relief it had worked, the blonde wasn't crying and the whimpers had become soft, yet shaky breaths.

" It's okay Seiji, it's all over," he told him once again. " He's not going to hurt anymore." All, but one of the nurses left, knowing that the situation had been dealt with accordingly. Touma didn't even noticed. He just kept rocking the swordsman in his arms.

" I'll be right back," the last nurse assured him, giving him a faint grateful smile. Then she departed as well, going to wait for the blonde's parents, who were returning after finding a hotel for the night. They had been more than shocked to hear that their son had been raped and was in the hospital for extreme blood loss and other injuries. Touma had barely spoken to them at all, having left the room when they arrived and only being told that they would return after finding a decent hotel to sleep at for the night. Touma had understood what that was like.

The mansion was now a crime scene and Ryo had rented a room at a hotel a block away for Shin and Shu to use when they got back into town just three hours before. They had spent a while at the hospital with Touma and Ryo, but had decided to go before they caused too much trouble for the orderlies on the floor. They were tired from driving as it was and needed the sleep. Ryo had only left to get Nasuti and make sure Byakuen got to his grandfather's.

The archer still didn't understand why the police had been so lenient with Ryo over his tiger attacking HIM. But it was probably because of the what had been done to Seiji. The two officers that had come to talk to him had been furious at what had been done to the blonde, he could see it in their eyes. They wouldn't have cared even if Williams had been killed by the enraged feline.

He felt a shift in the weight he held and looked down. Pale eyes were squinting up at him from under golden-tipped eyelashes and he felt his breath catch for a moment. " Seiji?" he whispered.

The blonde's eyes slowly opened wider, becoming use to the brightness of the lights. He just stared at Touma and the blue-haired boy could tell something was missing. Before he had always thought that a small part of Seiji's soul had been taken away, he believed by harsh parenting. Though now he knew it was not his parents, but Jack Williams, that had torn the blonde's spirit and as he stared at him then he could tell that there was barely anything left.

" How are you feeling?" he asked as he slowly lowered the boy back down onto the bed. Seiji shook his head and clung to him, refusing to let go. He opened his mouth, but only a raspy intelligible sound emitted from it. That's when he began coughing uncontrollably. He clutched his chest and wheezed, trying to stable himself.

Touma quickly removed himself from the blonde's side, careful of the wires and tubes, and rushed to the bathroom. Water could be heard and he returned with a paper cup full of water. He slowly held to Seiji's mouth and allowed him to drink until the cup was empty. He moved the cup away and sat it on the table by the bed. As he turned he felt a hand grasp his arm tightly.

He looked back quickly and Seiji was indeed holding his arm desperately. He was trying to sit up, but continued to wince at the pain that radiated through him. He shifted so that he was pretty much on his side, but still his grip didn't lessen. Touma just stared at his eyes, attempting to figure out the pleading look in their violet depths. He placed his hand on the one that clung to him and he felt the hold decrease. Before he could speak a shout came from the doorway.

" Seiji!" The blonde's head spun towards the exclamation of his name. His eyes seemed to stare in confusion at the sight of the man and woman in his doorway. The light brown-haired man seemed to stare at him with a hidden emotion deep in his eyes and the black-haired woman had tears ready to cascade down her cheeks.

" My Gods," the woman stepped one foot into the room before rushing to the side of the blonde's bed. Seiji stared at her with wide, disbelieving eyes as she took his hand. " Oh, my little boy…" she whispered.

Seiji stilled stared at her in shock and Touma knew that it was time for him to leave. He gently tried to remove Seiji's hand from his arm, but the grip only tightened. Korin's eyes turned to him, the pleading look in them still there. " I have to go Seiji," the archer told him. " I will be back later."

But the grip still did not lessen. The blonde still just stared at him, refusing to let him leave. The woman, Seiji's mother, watched this with curious eyes. She knew that Touma was the one that had rescued her son, but she was confused as to why, when Seiji had finally regained consciousness, the blonde was so insistent on him staying. Does he know that it was this boy that rescued him? she wondered. Or is there something more between them?

She hadn't missed the way Touma had been so gentle and careful with her son while he had still been sedated, the affectionate look in his eyes as he kept up his silent vigil. If there was not something deeper between them, the blue-haired boy surely wanted something more. I know that Father might not approve of such a coupling, she thought with a slight sigh in her chest, but I can see that he might be just what my little samurai needs to heal his wounds.

" Maybe you should stay, I'm sure the staff won't mind," she told him. It had been a shock to find out that her old friend, Hino Maika, had taken care of Seiji's injuries. But she also knew that she would be able to convince her to allow more than just two people to see her son at a time. Not to mention from what she was seeing as of now, Touma would be there most of the time to watch over the blonde when she or his father couldn't.

" But, I know you probably…" Touma glanced between the still silent man near the door, Seiji's father, his mother, and then Seiji himself. He had thought that the swordsman's parents would want private time with their son, but now he was becoming confused.

" I believe Seiji would prefer it if one of his friends were here as well," his father finally spoke. Touma turned to Seiji and could see the look of agreement in pale violet depths. The blonde truly didn't want him to leave. He wanted him to stay even though his parents were there. Korin was not one to talk much about himself and it was strange for him to want one of his friends in the same room when his parents were around.

" All right," Touma agreed and sat back down in the chair next to Seiji's bed. The blonde seemed more relaxed and at ease now that he knew that Touma wasn't trying to leave him alone with his parents. He didn't want Touma to go anywhere. He couldn't bear it if he lost the archer now. He needed him more than he'd ever needed anything else in his life.

His throat was beginning to burn and he needed water. He wanted to speak, but knew that would only make it worse than it already was. He stared at the cup that Touma had set and on the table and tried to think of a way to let them know what he needed that wouldn't need his voice. That's when he saw the pen and white napkins on the table. He guessed they'd been from someone eating, probably Touma himself if Shu was no where around. He let go of the archer's arms finally and reached for the pen, ignoring the pain that streak throughout his body. He could not show weakness, not when his parents were there.

" What is it Seiji?" Touma asked. He could see that the blonde's eyes were targeted onto something that was on the table. He noticed the empty up of water, the leftover napkins from when Ryo had come with food (none of which he ate), and the pen Doctor Hino had left earlier. Is he thirsty? He wondered.

" Are you thirsty?" Touma asked. Seiji wanted to smile, but didn't feel like he had the strength to do so. His wrists burned for some reason and now he realized that he wouldn't need the napkins or pen. Touma knew him better than anyone else. Slowly he nodded and the archer picked up the cup once again. He walked towards the bathroom, but Mr. Date stopped him.

" I shall go and request a pitcher of water for him," he told him. With that he walked out of the room. Touma didn't miss the slight look of relief from something in the older man's eyes as he left. He still went to the bathroom and filled the paper cup once again with the cold liquid for the blonde until his father returned.

He reentered the room and sat back down next to the blonde, the cup in his own hand. He used his other to help Seiji, noticing the strained look of pain that crossed the blonde's features every time he moved. He could also tell that he was trying to hide it, trying to not show pain in the presence of his mother.

The blonde's eyes showed gratitude that almost made Touma want to grin like a silly schoolgirl who had be kissed on the cheek by their favorite movie star. He held the cup to Seiji's mouth and allowed him to drink until he began to pull away. Acknowledging that he was done, the blue-haired boy set the cup on the table and helped the blonde to sit in a comfortable position on the bed. Mrs. Date watched all of this silently, trying to hide the small smile that was forming on her lips.

" That better?" Touma asked. Seiji nodded before turning to look at his mother. She could see an apology and a hidden look of shame in his pale violet eyes.

" It's all right Seiji," she stepped closer to the bed again and placed a hand on his own that lay inert on the bed. " We were told by the both the police and hospital when they called us to inform us of your condition. We know what happened."

Tears began to fall from her eyes that were clearly seen by her son and his companion. She then kneeled down on the floor by the bed and held her son's hand in hers, grasping it tenderly against he cheek. " I'm so sorry Seiji," she apologized. " I should have known that something was wrong. I should have known what a monster he was, I should have protected you!"

She continued to sob and the blonde could only stare in disbelief. His mother didn't cry, she didn't break down, or beg for forgiveness, especially with a practical stranger in the room with her. It wasn't her fault what had happened to him, he was a bad boy, he had been punished. His mother shouldn't have cried over what he had done. He couldn't bear to see her crying over him, not when it was his fault.

He clasped his hand around her smaller, more slender fingers and shook his head at her. She stared at him through tear-soaked eyes. He wiped the tears from his cheeks and pulled on her hand, telling her to stand up. Understanding the meaning of his actions, Mrs. Date did stand and yet still couldn't stop the tears from falling.

" Please Seiji, don't be like this," his mother pleaded. " Be angry, turn away from me, don't just try to wipe away my tears! I failed you! Can't you see that?"

Seiji would have smiled if he hadn't felt so tired. He knew that he was most like his mother in many aspects of his attitude, the rest being like his father and grandfather. She always felt it was her fault if something went wrong within her family because she was the head woman of their household. She was suppose to make sure that nothing bad happened within the walls of her home and now she knew that something had indeed happened, and to her own child. Now she felt responsible even though Seiji knew it was actually his fault and no one else's. She was the 'Ryo' of his family.

" Kita?" Seiji's father watched them from the doorway once again, a plastic pitcher of water in his one hand. His wife stared at him for a moment before quickly wiping his cheeks to get rid of the evidence of her breakdown. But Mr. Date merely ignored the tears and walked in, setting the pitcher on the table. He then turned to his son. " I told Dr. Hino that you were awake and she will be coming shortly to examine you," he stated.

Seiji had always been a little apprehensive at the mention of a doctor coming to do anything to him, let alone examining his injuries from rape. He hated doctors and hospitals because there were drugs everywhere in the buildings. He hated drugs and hated how doctors would poke and prod you with things just to see what could have made you ill.

He didn't want to be there. He just wanted to go home and go back to acting like none of this ever happened. But he knew he couldn't forget now, he wouldn't be allowed to. His friends and family all knew now, he couldn't escape the memories that he knew they would want him to recall. They'd want him to remember every touch, every bite, and every mark that Jack had ever left on him. He didn't want to remember, didn't want to even think about it.

" Seiji?" Touma's voice brought him out of his reverie before he could delve any farther into his own memories of the events that had brought him to where he was. He noticed that a woman wearing a white doctor's coat with black hair pulled up in a bun was standing next to him.

" Hello Seiji, I am Doctor Hino," she greeted him. " Now I need to run a few tests to see how you are recovering." She then turned her eyes on the three other occupants of the room. " But I will need you three to leave."

The blonde didn't want to be left in the room with a doctor. He still didn't trust her, not matter how nice she seemed. He didn't trust anyone who had access to the large amounts of drugs and medications that there were in hospitals. He turned his eyes to Touma once more and hesitated to take his hand. He truly didn't want Touma to leave, but he also didn't want him to see the damage that had been done by Jack.

What will he say if he sees? He wondered. It was a straining conflict within his mind. To hold onto Touma for comfort and protection or try to hide all of the evidence of what had been done to him from the one he loved. He could feel something telling him to ask Touma to stay, to not be left alone, but he wasn't sure of Touma's feelings besides what Ryo had told him the day before, before everything had gone wrong. He might not even want me now that he knows…

" Seiji, are you all right?" Touma asked him again, placing a hand over his own. The blonde turned to stare into his eyes and could see the concern, the sadness, and something else that he hoped was more than just his own heart projecting in their midnight depths. Right then he decided that he didn't care if the archer didn't love him or hated him for what had happened, just as long as he stayed with him long enough to make him feel safe.

The blonde turned his hand so that he could hold Touma's as well. He tried to get the other boy to understand, tried to let him see how much he needed him through his eyes. He was only vaguely aware of his mother and father walking out of the door.

" Excuse me, Mr. Hashiba, but you'll have to leave as well," Dr. Hino told him. Seiji's eyes widened a little and he shook his head. He didn't want to be left alone with this woman!

Hino could see the fear and desperation in her patient's eyes. He didn't want the boy, Touma, to leave. He was grasping his hand tightly and staring at her with a look of question in his eyes. She didn't understand why he seemed so scared, but she guessed that he didn't want to be left alone with anyone without someone he knew nearby. Many victims of rape had the same fear.

It also concerned her that he hadn't spoken yet. It meant that his throat had been harmed like she had first suspected. It would not allow him to speak for quite some time. She gave Touma a questioning look. The boy seemed to understand, " He doesn't like most doctors."

His answer seemed to clear up more of her questions. " Well, I guess it is his wish for you to remain in the room," she replied. " But it would be best if you didn't watch."

Touma looked down at Seiji, " It that all right?" The blonde nodded. " But you're gonna have to let go of my hand Seiji. I'm not leaving, but I need to back up so that the doctor can do her job. She only wants to help you get better."

Korin stared at him doubtingly, but he could see the sincerity in those midnight blue eyes. Touma wasn't going to abandon him. He accepted his word and slowly let go of the blue-haired boy's hand. He watched as he merely backed up a few steps until he was against the wall. He wasn't going anywhere.

" Now I need you full attention Seiji," Doctor Hino told him. The blonde turned back to her and nodded in compliance.

Touma watched as the doctor began her examination, but couldn't keep his eyes on them. She had undone the blonde's hospital gown and was checking the bruises on his sides and back. Seiji was wincing with every movement he made and the archer knew it was hurting him to comply with her simple requests. But something stood out to Touma as he stared at the profile of Seiji.

There was a dark black mark on his neck that he hadn't noticed before. It was round, near perfectly circular. It reminded him of a burn mark his father had left on their couch when he'd been living at home. The scientist had fallen asleep while smoking and Touma had rushed in just in time to save their mansion-like apartment from burning down. Luckily, all that had been marred was the couch, a small circular burn left on one of the couch cushions.

The blonde turned away from him and he could see two more marks identical to the one on his neck if only a little smaller on his shoulder, right at the juncture between his neck and shoulder blade, and one the first vertebrae below his neck. Touma felt the rage he had tried to hide through most the day returning as he saw some of the damage done to Seiji. The bruises on his face, the marks on his back, the burn marks of his ankles and wrists; all of them made him want to kill Williams himself. He wasn't so sure now that he should have stopped Byakuen or told Ryo not to do as he pleased.

" Mr. Hashiba?" Dr. Hino looked at him. " I'm going to close the curtain now so that I can finish my examination."

" I'll be right here Seiji," Touma kept his eyes on the blonde. " I'm not going anywhere." Seiji seemed unsure for a moment before nodding weakly to him. He knew it was for the best. He didn't want Touma to see what else had been done to him. Dr. Hino almost sighed before pulling the curtain around herself and her patient.

Touma closed his eyes and felt tears coming forth. He'd barely cried the entire time since he'd found Seiji in the clutches of that monster, but now everything was becoming too much. He had never seen Seiji so helpless and vulnerable, much like a small child. The blonde had never clung to him or anyone before like he had been doing so far today. He'd been trying to tell Touma something, that much he was sure of, but he couldn't figure out what that something was.

Were they telling the truth? He wondered. Does he actually care about me? Is that why he wanted me to stay instead of one of his parents? Gods, Seiji even if it's true, how can you ever want a relationship with anyone? You probably won't want anything to do with me now.

It was nearly fifteen minutes later that the curtain was pushed back up against the wall. Dr. Hino had a look of rage in her eyes and Seiji was sleeping soundly it seemed, the blonde's breaths even and the pain gone from his features. " Well?" Touma asked her.

" This is something I have to talk about with is parents," she told him. " I can tell he means a great deal to you and he trusts you, but that decision is out of my hands." The archer nodded in understanding as she walked out of the room. He then immediately went back to his seat next to the blonde's bed and took one of his hands in his own.

" I'm not going to leave you alone Seiji," he promised. " I'll stay right here with you until you're okay again, not matter how long that is." He then used his free hand to pull something from his pocket. He smiled at the green orb of Korin. " Maybe this will help you a little now that you are a bit stronger than you were last night."

He slid the orb into the blonde's loose grip and could feel it react to the blonde's touch. It seemed that Korin had been concerned about its bearer as well. Touma knew that Seiji was still too weak to call upon its healing powers and settled for sending small amounts of Tenku's energy into the mystical crystal. He hoped that it would help Korin in healing its bearer faster.

*****

" Is he going to be all right, Maika?" Mrs. Date questioned. " I could have stayed through the examination."

" Most patients in his predicament don't want their parents in the room," she explained. " I was a little surprised that he was so insistent on the other boy being in there. But he told me that Seiji has a problem with doctors. Is that true?"

" Hai," his mother nodded. " He was very sick when he was little and had to take medications and go to the hospital very often for check-ups and the like. That's why I became his doctor when he was five."

" Well, I was able to put a tranquilizer in his IV so he should be asleep for a few hours," Dr. Hino told them. " He'd had a nightmare before you came and had tore some of his stitches but I redid them. If he remains in bed for a few days and doesn't try to do anything harder than going to the bathroom, that would be a good start to his recovery. But I'm worried about his mental and emotional condition at the moment. That's why I will be requesting a therapist to see him after he is released."

Mrs. Date took in the information gradually. She too, believed that a therapist would be of some help to her son. She knew he would never talk about it to anyone that he knew so maybe a perfect stranger that could not speak about it to anyone else would be better. She was slightly concerned that her husband had barely spoken at all the entire time, but she knew that he was feeling the guilt and blame worse than anyone else was. Williams had been his friend since college, he had never even believed he was capable of such things.

" Is there anything else we need to do or should know?" she asked Maika Hino.

" Only that he not be left alone," she replied. " Rape victims are most likely to have panic attacks or flashbacks frequently in the first few weeks or even months after being assaulted. He should stay around someone's he's comfortable with for a while, at least until the therapist feels that otherwise."

" Ren?" she turned to her husband. " I don't think we should take him home."

" What?!" he stared at her, finally showing some sign of even listening to the conversation. " Why not?"

" He should stay with his friends, they understand him better than we ever will," she knew of the legend of the yoroi. She even knew that the other four that lived with Seiji were the other yoroi bearers. They had a bond with her son and she knew that they would be the ones best fit to help him through the next few weeks or months if need be.

" But-" He never got the chance to dispute his wife's decision.

" Maika?" Kita gave her a silent question.

" I'll be back to check on him in a while," she understood what was taking place. She gave a reassuring smile to her old friend before exiting down the brightly lit hall.

" Why can't he come home?" Mr. Date asked his wife.

" Because we've failed him Ren," she replied, tears in her eyes. " We didn't help him, didn't do anything to stop this. We didn't want to see that something was wrong, that he was crying out for help. I can't imagine him ever wanting to live with us ever again! I mean, I was his doctor and yet I didn't even see the signs. I didn't see that anything was wrong!"

He could see that his wife was deeply distressed with how they had failed their son over the years. Her shame, remorse, and pain were written clearly on her face. But he knew it wasn't her fault, it was his own. He had refused to see that anything was wrong, refused to understand why his old friend seemed so interested in his son. He thought it was because he had no children of his own and had always wanted a son. He never believed such a thing would ever happen.

I failed him, not her, he told himself. I allowed this to happen and I shall have to live with knowing that for the rest of my life. Mr. Date then thought of what his wife had said. She was right, the four boys and that woman did know he son better than anyone else, even his family. They had been there for him for three years so far and they took care of him better than he had.

" Yes," he sighed. " He will need them. And it seems he will need that boy, Touma, most of all."

" You saw it as well?" she asked.

He nodded before running his hand through light brown bangs that had fallen into his eyes. " I always knew that Seiji wasn't be interested in girls. He has always had a terrible fear of them. But I do believe that this Touma seems to care for our son, even if Seiji doesn't know it yet."

" Then he can go home with his friends?" she asked, just to make sure.

" Yes, they'll help him better than we can," he nodded to her before pulling her to him for a small hug, a simple action meant to comfort her. " He'll be all right, he's a fighter." And Jack will pay. I might not be able to take back what I've done, but he will pay for what he's done to Seiji. I'll do everything I can to make sure of it, even if I have to take the law into my own hands.

A/N: How was that?

JC: Jen knows that most of ya wanted to see Seiji hating his parents, but I just couldn't see hi doing it.

Catherine: She sees Seiji as being the kind of person that takes the blame for anything that happens to himself. He wouldn't blame his parents of anyone else.

Kathrine: Now, Jack Williams will pay. You'll just have to wait to see how. (Smirks maniacally.)

JC: Review!