Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ Koi wa Kurushimi ❯ Then how should I begin ( Chapter 14 )

Koi wa Kurushimi
By Djinn Hashiba-Maxwell

* * *
This chapter dedicated to my g/f, who actually asked for link to this story, despite the fact that she has rarely (if ever) read YST fic. Suki da, Fish-eye-chan!

Fear my evil Kayura-neko!!
Kayura-neko: Meow?
* * *

And indeed there will be a time
To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?" --
Time to turn back and descend the stair

- The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
- T.S. Eliot

* * *

"It's too dark." Ryo insisted. "We should camp for the night. We can find Akuko-no-yama when it's light."

"No!" Touma contended. "This is good. It has to be dark."

"Touma, I agree with Ryo. It's too dark to see anything. How are we supposed to navigate?" Seiji said.

Touma snorted. "Don't try to lecture me on things you know nothing about. If it was light, we'd never find Akuko-no-yama."

Seiji frowned, crossing his arms. "What are you talking about?"

Touma smirked at the disbelief evident in the blonde's voice. "Hey Ryo," he said, not moving his gaze from Seiji's, "look in my pack, would you? There's a little velvet box in there. Give it here."

Ryo dug around in the pack for a moment, feigning ignorance to the unnamed tension between the two other men. "Here, Touma ..." He produced from the pack the small velvet box. "This was what you got from the convent, wasn't it?"

Touma smiled weakly over his shoulder, finally breaking his staring match with Seiji. "Yes. Thank you." He opened the box, and the failing moonlight glinted on the ring inside.

It was gorgeous, to say the least. Pale metal set with small white and blue stones. It was not symmetrical; there was no pattern. The band was thick, the ring looked almost to heavy to be worn.

"Utterly priceless." Touma said, holding up the ring. "And there are only nineteen others like it in the world." He grinned, holding up the ring. For a moment, Seiji thought he was just admiring it, and then he noticed with mild surprise that the seemingly random placement of the stones precisely matched the position of the stars. Even in size and the tint of the light; the ring was a miniature recreation of the sky above them. Except ...

"That red stone." Seiji said. "Why is it there?"

Touma grinned, morbidly and without mirth. "Red for blood, Date-san. It's the color of evil." He glanced at the ring one more time, and then, as if divining it, pointed off to the southwest. "That way. I swear, this place looks different every time I'm here. Of course, that's probably the point."

"So that's why no one has ever located Akuko-no-yama. You need that ring to even hope to find it ..." Seiji murmured.

"Well, there's that." Touma agreed, turning his horse. "And then there's the fact that 'Akuko's mountain' is a valley. Race ya!" He winked, and then was off at a gallop, leaving the blonde to catch up.

* * *

Touma's first thought, upon regaining consciousness, was that he was hopelessly and foolishly overconfident to think that a warrior of Kayura's skill, no matter how young she was, would not be expecting him to follow her immediately back to Akuko-no-yama.

His second thought was Ouch!

He was hanging, with his arms tied above his head. When they had reached Akuko-no-yama, he had given the order to split up. The plan was to allow Ryo, who would undoubtedly do something stupid, to draw the attention of the guards. Then he could sneak around from the back while they were distracted, save his partner's stupid (although admittedly rather cute) ass, and then meet up with Seiji closer to the main hall. Unfortunately, things had not exactly ...

Waitaminte.

Hanging, hands tied together above his head, in the center of a large, bare room, like a gymnasium.

The memories flooded back. So this what it looked like from that nameless man's position. This was what it was like to look down on death.

I am not afraid. I am not afraid. I am not afraid. I am not afraid. I am not afraid. I am not afraid ...

The door slid back.

Holy shit yes I fucking am!

But he didn't let that fact show. He held his body stiff, trying to get his feet on the ground to reduce the pull on his already sore, torn wrists.

"Are you comfortable, Touma-chan?" Kayura asked, her voice high and lilting. "You need to concentrate on what I'm going to say, Touma-chan, so I hope you are." The small girl slithered in, hips swinging beneath her tan body armor, the trailing fabric billowing behind her like smoke. Her sai were dangling on either side of her hips, bouncing against her thighs as she walked. There was a small dagger strapped to her upper arm as well, the point upwards, the handle was made with blue suede. The set of her hips and the sway of her walk was consciously and disturbingly provocative, especially since Kayura was only twelve years old.

Of course, Kayura had never been 'pure and innocent'.

"Now pay attention, Touma-chan. I loathe having to repeat myself." Kayura smirked, drawing one of the sai and trailing the cold point down Touma's pale thigh. "It was so difficult, deciding the proper way to ... discipline you." She purred. "At first, I was just going to give you over to Rajura and Naaza. Tell them to 'have their way with you', you know. They don't really like boys, but they do what I say, and you're as pretty as a girl. But then I thought, how trite! And besides, you're such a slut, you might not even care."

The sai moved around to the back of his thigh with Kayura, the violet-haired girl ducking out of his line of sight. "Then I thought, Hashiba-san has always prided himself on being detached. Maybe it would be enough to simply slaughter his pet Sanada and that pretty little blonde right in front of him, in some needlessly ostentatious fashion. I recall you being quite upset when you caught me as sai practice when I was ten ..." The sai was trailed by manicured fingernails, pressing hard enough to leave red welts around the other side of his thigh. "But it lacks ... poetry, don't you think? Then it came to me."

She came back into his vision. "What could be more delightful than having you take active part in your own torture? So here's the deal ..." The point of the sai caught him under the chin, lifting his eyes to hers. "Now listen close, I'll only explain this once. Your little blonde friend? His valueless to us. I could just as easily kill him and your pet Sanada right now. Wakarimasu ka?" He nodded, trying not to cut himself on her sai. "Good, then you realize that if you do not do exactly as we wish, he is forfeit. As is your pet Sanada."

The sai traced down his throat, leaving a thin red line.

"You are going to rape that pretty little blonde. You are going to hold him down, tear him apart, and above all, you are going to make him enjoy every second of it." She hissed. "And let me make this perfectly clear ... I want break him, I want you to destroy him! If I think you're holding back, if think you're being ..." she sneered, "... merciful ... he will die, and you will watch. In fact, you might even have a hand in it. I'll have to consider that more."

Touma's eyes were cold. "You expect me to ..."

"It's a simple choice, Touma-chan. You will hurt him, or I will kill him. It is a poor choice, but I think an easy one." The sai trailed down his chest, pressing a little harder, cutting through his dirty kimono. "So, will you be an obedient little boy and do what is asked of you?"

Touma swallowed. "I ... you can't expect me to ..."

"I can and do. I give you my word as an Akuko that if you do as I ask, your friends will be released, in no way permanently damaged. You will not be released, of course, but you will not die, either."

Touma raised an eyebrow. "You are not doing this for the Akuko, are you, Kayura? They want me dead. Painfully, if at all possible."

Kayura smiled, and turned her back on him, walking over to the fire in the corner. "Touma ... my dear, sweet Touma ... I would never kill you! ... Not even if you wanted it." She grinned. "And besides, you know I am in line to take over the Akuko, once Arago dies. They let me do as I like, and if I want someone condemned to death to be my toy ... well, in a lot of ways, being my toy is a fate worse than death."

She turned away from the fire, Pulling a long, curved piece of metal from where it was heating over the flames. Touma's blood ran cold.

It was a branding iron.

Touma had been branded, just like the rest, when he joined Akuko. But that had been done by the unpleasant old healer, who knew how to do it. Branding was painless if done right - if the temperature was high enough, you burned out the nerve endings as soon as the brand touched the skin.

Touma knew that Kayura did not know how to do it. Kayura knew this too - probably why she was doing it. She knew that if a brand was too cold, the skin would fuse to it rather than scarring over, and you would have to rip the seared skin away along with the metal.*

"Don't squirm, Touma-chan." Kayura's voice lilted, dark and rich like honey, sounding much older than her age.

Touma didn't.

* * *

It was cold, Seiji decided, but not unbearably so.

Very familiar with these sort of techniques, Seiji knew that it was warm enough that he would be able to rest when he was exhausted, but until then sleep would be beyond him. No point in giving a prisoner comfort, after all.

The white-haired one - Rajura, if his recollections were correct - had shoved him into this room, after stripping him of all but his loose hakama. He felt strangely exposed, and he knew, intellectually, that he was being watched from somewhere. But the room was large, almost as large as a gymnasium, and it would be difficult to figure out where the surveillance was. So he resigned himself to being watched.

It was about an hour later when the door slid back, echoing dully in the large, bare room. The girl who had begun all this, Kayura, sauntered in, tossing her hair in a consciously provocative fashion

"Thank you for your patience, Date-san." She quipped, baring fangs in a mirthless grin. "I am ready to accommodate you now. Or rather, my little darling is ..."

She stepped aside, out of the doorway, revealing the wraith-pale figure behind her. There was an expression on Touma's face that Seiji could tell was unnatural. True, he didn't know Touma as well as he might have liked, but he knew that the complete and utter lack of emotion in his expression was not normal. Touma could fake emotion if he so chose, but he didn't seem the type to dismiss it completely.

"Touma?" Seiji murmured uncertainly, rising gracelessly to his feet, and barely managing to stay standing, his muscles cramping painfully from the cold. "What is going on, Touma?"

Touma stepped into the room, indigo eyes blank and distant. Kayura stepped back, smirking wildly, and slid the door closed behind him. The younger boy's steps were stiff as he walked across the room, looking as if he were fighting with himself. He met Seiji in the center of the room, only an inch and a half shorter than the older man, their eyes more or less level. Violet-grey met indigo curiously, searching for answers. None were yielded.

"Date-san?" Touma murmured, almost too soft to hear.

"Hai?" Seiji replied after a moment, startled by the too-polite address.

"Gomen ne." And then the back of Touma's hand caught him across the cheek, completely unexpected, sending him reeling onto the tatami mats of the floor. Before he had time to realize where he was, what had happened, Touma was above him, grabbing both his deceptively skinny wrists with one hand, holding them pinned to the ground over his head. Seiji finally regained enough common sense to struggle.

"Hashiba! What the hell do you think you're doing --"

Touma free hand closed over his mouth, reducing the rest of his protest to an incoherent mutter. And then the darker haired boy was bending close to his ear, whispering against his skin. "Don't fight me, Seiji." He hissed harshly. "I can't explain, but trust me."

"Trust you?" Seiji hissed back, just as quiet. "Why the hell should I trust --"

"Would you rather I let you die?"

While Seiji blinked in surprise at that response, Touma's free hand moved dangerously lower. Past the relatively safe areas of throat and shoulders, down to his chest, tweaking nipples already painfully hard from the cold. Seiji gasped, as much from pain as from pleasure, but as soon as the touch was there it was gone, moving further down. Tracing the lines of muscles that tensed in surprise as his touch, circling his thumb around Seiji's belly button.

Seiji's body was loving it, but his mind still had a handhold, and it was wondering what the hell was going on.

"Touma!" Seiji gasped. "Touma, what --"

Touma's lips sealed over his, cutting him off yet again. The younger boy released his wrists, his hand following the lines of Seiji's straining arm muscles down to his throat, and Touma tangled fingers in the hair at Seiji's nape, pulling the other boy deeper into the kiss, while his other hand fumbled at the blonde's obi. Seiji whimpered. He didn't want this ... this was neither the time or the place ... but damn it, he couldn't convince his body to protest.

Touma's other hand slid lower, past the heat that was burning between Seiji's thighs, lower, to ...

Seiji jerked back, shock and appalled, struggling to pull his body away. Touma allowed no such thing, keeping his fingers twisted in Seiji's hair, tugging hard enough to startle Seiji into immobility as one long finger slid into his body, dry. It hurt ... gods, it hurt bad ... suddenly Seiji was very, very frightened. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so scared - not since childhood, surely - but this ... he didn't know what was happening, why Touma was doing this, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to stop him.

"Touma ..." He whispered, pressing his cheek to the floor, trying not to see the boy above him, his voice small and soft. "Yamero ... yamero, onegai ..."

Touma buried his face in the junction between Seiji's shoulder and throat, and Seiji felt something warm and wet against his skin.

Tears. Touma was crying. He bit down on the tender flesh of Seiji's neck, as if to silence himself, and yet his hand never stopped moving, the finger sliding out only long enough to allow a second to enter.

And gods help him, but no matter how much Seiji didn't want it, it was starting to feel good.

"Gomen nansai ... gomen ... sumimasen." Touma whispered against Seiji's skin, so soft the blonde thought he could have imagined it.

And then, from somewhere outside the walls, was the sound of a loud crash, like something being shattered, a table or chair.

Or a door.

Touma jerked away from Seiji, eye darting towards the door he had entered through. He was on his feet in a breath, flinging Seiji's obi at him impatiently, gestured obtusely for the blonde to rise. But Seiji realized he was barely able to think, let alone stand. He just stared up at the other boy blankly, violet eyes distant, uncomprehending.

'How odd.' He thought calmly, staring straight ahead. 'How did Touma get a burn on his hip? It wasn't there before, was it? Did he get it when we were coming in? But it's such an odd shape - like a cross, but one of the bars is curved down ...'

Then his mind came back on line.

That was not a burn, it was brand. And the shape was the katakana 'ka'.

Like 'Kayura'.

* * *

"I knew those two were incompetent." Kayura said to the dark-haired boy in the doorway behind her, without turning from her peephole, watching the scene before her. Touma had jerked away when the door behind her had been broken down, but Seiji had not yet moved. So easily broken? she wondered.

"Yeah, well, they just looked a little tired." Ryo said, shrugging easily, a pair of mismatched but evenly balanced swords in his hands. "So I just put them to sleep." He moved into a fighting stance. "You look a little drowsy yourself, Kayura."

The violet-haired girl turned from the peephole reluctantly, stretching her tense shoulders and lowering her hands to her sai. "So eager to die, little Sanada?" She asked.

"Well, you know." Ryo replied. "I had heard that Yomi is lovely this time of year. Though I might try and find out."

Kayura snarled. "Then I suppose I shall have to oblige you."

"Oh no, my dear, you have it wrong." Ryo shot back. "I was hoping you might tell me what it's like."

* * *

*I found the book 'The Dangers of Tattoos and Branding' in my school nurse's office.

Kaiya: The last section brought to you by - "Space Filling, Chatty Banter!"

Nai: Hey, they're the same people who fund these ending notes!

Djinn: ^_^;; No kidding? Wow, small world.

Nai: Language notes! Wakarimasu ka means 'Do you understand?' Gomen ne, gomen nansai, and sumimasen all mean 'I'm sorry'. Yamero means 'stop' and onegai means 'please'. And Yomi, in Shinto mythology, is the land of the dead. It is comparable to the Greek 'Hades' and is ruled by Izanami, the 'august female', one half of the couple that created the world. The other half is, of course, Izanagi, the 'august male', and ...

Kaiya: All right already, Nai! That's more information than is necessary. The only person who might possibly be interested is Talina! And she's probably heard it before!

Nai: *sniffles*

Djinn: That's all right, Nai-chan! You can come and babble about mythology with me!