Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ My Lover's Gone ❯ My Lover's Gone ( One-Shot )

Author's notes : New songfic ! This one is the first of a series of 3 songfics written on the songs off the album No Angel by Dido. Oh my, I'm so cruel to poor Seiji ! ^^;;; I can't believe it…

Disclaimer : I don't own the song or the Troopers, just the idea.

Warning : Yaoi, NC-17 (a songfic NC-17 ? well I guess that it does exist…the proof ! ^^) angsty, ShinxSeiji and RyoxSeiji pairing (Don't ask and read)

My Lover's Gone

By Shadow of Arashi

My lover's gone

his boots no longer by my door

he left at dawn

and as I slept I felt him go

Returns no more

I will not watch the ocean

My lover's gone

no earthly ships will ever bring him home again

bring him home again

Seiji turned restlessly in his sleep and opened his eyes groggily. Something wasn't right and that something woke him up. It was like something was missing. Sitting up on the bed, Seiji yawned and glanced at the window. It was barely dawn. That was strange, he may be an early bird, but he still never woke up this early.

Seiji felt a twinge of inexplicable fear and turned by habit toward the other side of the bed, where his lover was sleeping, and his eyes widened. Shin wasn't there. Seiji tried to calm down and reason with himself. He must have woken up early and was probably downstairs in the kitchen.

Now more calm, Seiji got out of bed and quickly grabbed a shirt along with a pair of shorts and made his way toward the door, when a piece of paper on his dresser caught his eye. He took it and recognized Shin's handwriting. He started to read it, but when he reached the end of the note his hands were trembling.

"Dear Seiji,

I'm really sorry to have to tell you this but I'm leaving. I love Ryo. I always have, and now that I know I have a chance, I'm going to take it. I'm really sorry and please don't be mad. I'm sure you will find someone to love you like you deserve.

Shin"

Seiji stood there, completely still, his eyes watering and staring at the note. Then he broke down and started to cry silently, the meaning of Shin's actions hitting him full force. Shin was gone, and he wasn't coming back.

"Shin, why did you do this? If you didn't love me, why did you came to me? I didn't ask you… you were the one to ask me out… Why?!"

H cried brokenly. Then he just threw the note on the ground and stormed out of the room, never looking back and missing the confused look of Touma and Shu. In his heart broken state, he also failed to notice that Shin and Ryo weren't there.

My lover's gone

I know that kiss will be my last

no more his song

the tune upon his lips has passed

I sing alone

while I watch the ocean

My lover's gone

no earthly ships will ever bring him home again

bring him home again

Seiji ran until he was stopped by the lake near Nasutei's mansion and let himself drop to the ground. He didn't care anymore if he was crying openly now, and he didn't care that his feet hurt. He was just hurting too much inside to care.

He felt so betrayed that he was sure he couldn't scream enough to express it. He felt tears sliding down his cheeks and wiped them off with a harsh sob. He had really loved Shin. He knew it, and the water Trooper had just used him from the very beginning. It never had been him who interested the auburn-haired boy, but their fire leader.

Coming from the Warrior of Trust, it was really hard to deal with. Especially since Seiji had finally let himself open his feelings and soul to Shin, making the betrayal all the more painful. He couldn't believe he had just been a toy to Shin.

A toy that you throw away when you don't need it anymore.

Seiji looked at the lake and memories of the times when Shin and him had come here together came to him. They would play in the water and sing together on the shore while looking at the sunset or even making love. Shin had always enjoyed making love in the water or on the shore.

Seiji had been happy during those time. Honestly happy. And now, he was all alone again. The kiss they had shared last night will be the last he will ever have from Shin.

"Alone again, just like before…"

He whispered. Then Seiji closed his eyes, trying to block out the thoughts when he felt a hand on his shoulder and a soft voice just behind him.

"Seiji? Are you ok? You shouldn't be here all alone you know."

Seiji turned his head sharply to the side and gasped. Ryo was just behind him, watching him with worry all over his face.

My lover's gone

his boots no longer by my door

he left at dawn

and as I slept I felt him go

Returns no more

I will not watch the ocean

My lover's gone

no earthly ships will ever bring him home again

bring him home again

"Ryo… What are you doing here? Just… just go away Ryo. You should be with Shin now."

Seiji said in a whisper, tears sliding down his face again. Ryo shook his head and sat down next to the blonde. Seiji refused to look at him and started to watch the lake again.

"Seiji, look at me"

he said. When the blonde still didn't look at him, he caught Seiji's arm and spun him around so he could see his face. The blonde was clearly puzzled and seemed almost, well almost afraid. Ryo smiled gently at him, trying to soothe the distressed blonde and took him in his arms.

"Seiji, I'm not with Shin because I don't love him."

Seiji's eyes widened in surprise and confusion.

"But… Shin wrote…"

Ryo snorted.

"Shin wrote what he thought was the truth. He took every hint for himself. He was too lost in his own world to see the reality."

Seiji was really puzzled now.

"What do you mean?"

Ryo sighed and ran his fingers through Seiji's soft blonde hair with a pensive, almost pained look.

"I mean that Shin thought I was in love with him when in fact I was in love with you, Seiji."

Seiji gasped and pulled back slightly from Ryo's arms, looking at the fire trooper in awe.

"What?"

Ryo just held him tighter before speaking again.

"I'm in love with you Seiji, and I was jealous to see you happy with Shin. I never showed it or said it of course, but Shin caught me staring at the two of you and thought it was for him. Shin believed that my anger and jealousy were because he was with you, so he dumped you. I'm sorry Seiji. If I had talked before, this wouldn't had happened. When Shin came to see me this morning, telling me he wanted to be my lover and that he left you, I got so mad that I slapped him. He ran away crying after that, and I don't think I want to see him ever after what he did."

Seiji just stared at Ryo silently, as if seeing him for the first time. Then Ryo, who was still holding him, bent forward slightly and kissed him gently.

My lover's gone

no earthly ships will ever bring him home again

bring him home again…

It was more intense than everything Seiji was expecting. He didn't even believe that he could feel like this again, especially so soon after his break-up. Seiji closed his eyes and let Ryo kiss him. Then Ryo got a little more daring and pushed him down flat on his back and on the ground. Seiji's eyes opened wide at this and some fear reflected in his gaze.

"Ryo… I…"

"That's ok Seiji, I won't ever hurt you. I promise you that."

Seiji nodded hesitantly and let Ryo do as he please. Ryo started to unbutton his shirt as he kissed Seiji and soon the blonde was naked under him. Ryo didn't lose time after this and in no time he was naked as well. Then he positioned himself between Seiji's already slightly spread legs and looked at his blonde love.

"Don't worry Seiji, I love you and I will never let you down"

He whispered hoarsely and then he entered gently. Seiji closed his eyes and just let the feelings wash over him. First there was some pain, then it was perfect. As if Ryo know exactly what to do to make him react. As if he was made to be here. There was no more hurt, just love and the sweet passion of the fire trooper, acting like a warm blanket protecting him from the outside world. Seiji opened his eyes in surprise at the intensity of it and groaned when Ryo quickened his pace.

"Ryo…" he gasped out before stars danced in his eyes. Then he heard Ryo whispering his name and felt something warm in him. At the same moment he know it was as much Ryo's love as it was his seed. Ryo's love was as honest and real as Shin's was fake. And it made Seiji feel happy. Happy and fulfilled.

He moaned when Ryo withdrawn from his body and whimpered in protest. He wanted to feel the warmth and protection of the Trooper's leader, his leader. Ryo just smiled and held him tight.

"I won't leave Seiji. I'll still be there tomorrow."

Seiji smiled back.

"Thank you Ryo, thank you" he said with a voice heavy with passion and exhaustion before drifting to sleep, curled up in Ryo's arms. Ryo watched him and kissed his forehead, thanking for his part the Heaven for giving him Seiji.

THE END